WEBVTT

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I'm Sarah Beth Terry, and you're not. Oh, good

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evening, friends, and welcome to another fun

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edition of The Cigarette Mom. It is Wednesday,

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July the 15th. That is a spiderweb with a great

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big damn spider on it. Oh. My. Gosh. Hang on.

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Oh, you are beautiful. Oh, I can't bother you.

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You're too pretty, Charlotte. I wish you could

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say it's beautiful. Well, the labor be. Oh, I

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reached my hand out and I was like, that is the

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spiderweb. I felt like Gwen Stefani for a second.

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Sorry, I can't answer the phone. I'm busy walking

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into spiderwebs. That's not the words, but whatever.

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Hello, welcome. It is Wednesday, July the 15th,

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2026. Pull up a rocker. Tea is cold. Crickets

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are singing. Welcome to the porch. Apparently,

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Charlotte is taking care of the bug problem here

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on the porch, so I'm not going to mess with her.

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There's a stick -em -tie in my chair cushion

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from where the tag came out. Hate that. All right,

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your top headlines today. In the Middle East,

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the United States carried out another round of

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strikes against Iranian military targets overnight,

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while Iran continues to threaten shipping and

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regional energy infrastructure. World leaders

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continue urging negotiations as fear of a wider

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regional conflict remain high. I'm afraid they're

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going to tell their friends. We're going to have

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to tell our friends. Everybody's going to have

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a fight. daylight savings time get excited the

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house has approved legislation that would make

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daylight savings time permanent if it ultimately

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becomes law the measure now continues through

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the legislative process and if you're familiar

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with through branches of government then you

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know what that means could you imagine it not

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getting dark at four o 'clock in the afternoon

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before christmas oh wouldn't that be heavenly

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i'm so excited i'm so excited Junior, you need

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a song by July the 19th? Shoot me a message.

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I'll get started. That gives me about four days,

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but I can do it. All right. In immigration, following

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several deadly incidents involving immigration

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enforcement, federal officials announced changes

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to vehicle stop operations while broader policy

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debates continue. Don't get me started. I just...

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I have to show nine forms of ID to go to the

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dispensary. And no one's got a problem with that.

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But in order to vote, can't be showing our ID

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for that. In order to live here, can't be showing

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our ID for that. Anyway, in weather, the heat

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wave, meteorologists continue warning that large

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portions of the country remain under dangerous

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heat with high overnight temperatures creating

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added health risks. I blame CERN. So, you know,

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there's that. There's that. So, in Appalachia

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and West Virginia news, West Virginia announced

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new funding aimed at strengthening the rural

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health care workforce. I think they should work

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on establishing a rural road to the hospital,

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and then people could probably get there to work.

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I'm just saying. Comcast and Appalachia Power

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are once again in dispute over broadband pole

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attachment fees, an issue that could affect future

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internet expansion across the state. Lord, they

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have to feed the squirrels and stay on top of

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the hillside now. Why can't we just get Elon

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down here and just end all this? Huntington Hospital

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is preparing to offer an advanced liver cancer

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treatment that has previously required patients

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to travel out of state. So, congratulations.

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You can stay right here in the state if you have

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that particular diagnosis. Oh, Junie was just

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letting me know that July 19th is the day that

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you'll celebrate. Well, then why tell me? I wouldn't

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have known any different. There's somebody still

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doing fireworks in the neighborhood. Well, happy

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14th of July. Whatever. All right. Good news

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around America. Volunteers in several states

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are helping elderly homeowners repair porches,

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ramps, and roofs free of charge. So that's awesome.

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Animal shelters continue reporting record adoption

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rates through summer Clear the Shelters campaigns.

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So. Community gardens are producing thousands

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of pounds of fresh vegetables for the local food

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banks. Libraries around the country are expanding

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free seed exchanges for backyard gardeners, so

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make sure that you check out your local library.

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You might be able to find something to plant

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in your yard that you've never had before. More

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veterans are being paired with retired service

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dogs through non -profit programs, which is awesome.

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Rural churches continue opening cooling centers

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during this extreme heat. High school shop classes

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are building wheelchair ramps for neighbors,

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which I think is the best use of their time and

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effort instead of birdhouses. Children's hospitals

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continue receiving thousands of handmade blankets

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from quilting groups. Local beekeepers report

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strong honey production after a healthy spring

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bloom. And more small -town farmers markets are

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accepting snack benefits, increasing access to

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fresh produce for those that are on food stamps.

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So, that's exciting. That's all I know. That's

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what it told me. That's what it told me in human

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interest today as far as Google's concerned.

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I said, give me some good news. I should have

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been more specific as where it was happening.

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But, there you go. Chicken corner. If you're

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keeping up with the chicken corner, summer heat

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can reduce egg production even in healthy hands.

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So, if you are not getting quite the production

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that you are seeing normally this time of year,

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I blame the weather. So don't go, be easy on

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your chickens. It's hot for them too. Fresh water,

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shade, frozen watermelon treats, frozen corn,

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and good ventilation will keep your flock much

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happier this week. Also, a little apple cider

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vinegar in the waters will help clear up any

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congestion. In chicken news, on my farm, we lost

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Liberace today. Oh, I have nursed him for three

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days. I knew he was getting sick. He didn't feel

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good the other night. He's real, he was, he was

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really timid. Was scared of his own shadow. So

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I'm pretty sure he had a heart attack the other

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night. And he's kind of just been real pale for

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like three days. But he was still drinking. And

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he was still eating today. And then I went to

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check on him this afternoon. About an hour later.

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And he was. He was not long for this world. So

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Liberace was a bainey. A fleur de mille rooster.

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With little bell bottoms. That's why I called

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him Liberace. I loved him. He was a really sweet

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little thing. And now he is gone to his eternal

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reward. But out with the old and in with the

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new. There were two babies born today. So maybe

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we'll have another Liberace. I lost two of my

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favorite chickens in the past month. I know.

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They're chickens. But I named them. And I love

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them. And I just have to let them go. So. Anyway.

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In Garden Gate. Speaking of gardening. I'm going

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to do something while we're talking about it.

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Daylilies are really beginning to shine this

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time of year. So. If you got daylilies, enjoy.

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Deadheading spent blooms won't make each flower

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last longer, but it helps the plant put more

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energy into producing new blooms. So don't be

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afraid of deadheading them flowers. They'll come

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back bushier. Basil's the same way. If you start

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seeing some seeds, pinch them off because they'll

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send all that energy on up to the leaves. In

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the bird wire today, oh my goodness, I had a

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visitor this morning, a great blue heron. landed

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in the big tree above my coop and scared the

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turkeys and scared the heron and everybody made

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noise. It was hilarious. I was like, what is

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that? Its wingspan is like eight foot long. Oh,

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I'm sorry, little spider. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry. Are you okay? Anyway, his wingspan

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is this big. Leonard's fine. He was the first

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to tell me that Liberace had passed. Like, literally

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started squalling. He's such a good little rooster.

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But there was a great blue heron in my backyard

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today. Great blue herons are often spotted around

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creeks and ponds here in West Virginia, especially

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during the summer mornings and evenings as the

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temperatures cool off. Seeing one perched high

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on a tree surprises a lot of folks, but it is

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perfectly normal. They often roost there between

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their feedings. I see some of the comments. They

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come across very quickly, so I'm looking as quickly

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as I can. In country music, summer touring season

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is in full swing with festivals and county fairs

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packing calendars across Appalachia. That's a

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lot of C words that I wrote down today. It's

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one of the busiest weeks of the year for independent

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artists making their rounds. I have two shows,

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three podcasts this week, so yeah. Ramping up.

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Here's you something that I learned today. Did

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you know... that a cedar tree can naturally resist

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insects and decay for decades because of oils

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found inside the wood itself. Did you know this?

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That's one reason cedar porch beams cost way

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more up front, but Outlast treated pine. I was

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looking at pricing some cedar beams today, and

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a 6x6x12 cedar beam runs anywhere between $200

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and $250. So if you've got some cedar trees around

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your property, cut them out, let them dry out,

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and you can use that and save yourself some money.

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There's my cat. So... I have two podcasts. I

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have The Feral Christian and I have Cigarette

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Mom, and they're on everywhere that you get podcasts.

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RSS and Apple podcasts. They're good. On this

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day in history, in 1410, the Battle of Grunwald,

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one of medieval Europe's largest battles, was

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fought. In 1799, the Rosetta Stone was discovered

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in Egypt and has been plaguing first -year freshmen

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ever since. Uh, in 1916, Boeing was officially

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incorporated. A short five years, six years after

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we flew the first plane, we were like, we're

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gonna go ahead and, uh, incorporate. Uh, in 1975,

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the Apollo -Soyuz test project launched the first

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joint U .S.-Soviet space mission. Something about.

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If you're here because you know me as the Pharaoh

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Christian, here's your verse of the day. Trust

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in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not

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unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways

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acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.

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That's Proverbs 3, 5, and 6. Trust God. He'll

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lead the way. That's the synopsis of it. It's

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National Hot Dog Day. See, I knew I got them

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out of the refrigerator for a reason. I might

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have to have me a hot dog. Here's a little tip,

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friends. God sometimes doesn't show you the whole

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road. Just enough to see the next step on the

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map. Faith isn't on where the trail ends. It's

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trusting the guide who already walked it. So,

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there you go. Here's your front porch question

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for the evening. What's one thing you've always

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wanted to learn to do, but you just haven't started

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learning it yet? I, for one, would like to learn

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how to can. Cause I know how to can a little

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bit, but not a lot. I think I can. I think I

00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:10.639
can. I think I can. Hogies and grinders. Hogies

00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:16.279
and grinders. Oh! Run to Earl down at the feed

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store today. And I said, Earl, what's going on

00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:25.860
with your bed? And he said, well, sir. It's never

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sir. Sir, the doctor told me to watch what I

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ate. And I said, how's that going? He said, well,

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I've been looking at myself in the mirror while

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I ate my donuts. It's going pretty good. I love

00:12:37.419 --> 00:12:40.659
old men at farm stores. They're the best. Oh,

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Lord. You know what I love about a porch, friends?

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You know why I love this? I talked about this

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last time on my podcast with Leah. I love a porch

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because no one has to impress anybody. Like I

00:12:55.019 --> 00:12:58.080
just rolled in from the Dollar General. I rolled

00:12:58.080 --> 00:12:59.620
by the pickleball courts where they're apparently

00:12:59.620 --> 00:13:03.500
having some kind of FIFA World Tournament at

00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:05.919
the pickleball courts. There were so many people.

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I was like, there's no way that we can play pickleball

00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:10.720
with this many kids here. So I had to come on

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home. Anyway, you don't have to impress anybody

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on the porch. Just come as you are. The millionaire

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and the mechanic. Both creak the same rocking

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chair. The chickens don't care what truck you

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drove up in. The dog doesn't ask who you voted

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for. And the sunset charges everybody the exact

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same price. Something holy about ordinary things,

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as we've discussed. Sometimes I think God smiles

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the biggest when we're just sitting still long

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enough to notice him. So, pay attention. So,

00:13:48.549 --> 00:13:50.769
tonight is another fun edition of Let's Color

00:13:50.769 --> 00:13:53.549
In The Map. I'm so excited. Because we almost

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got it full the other night. We almost got it

00:13:56.090 --> 00:14:00.370
full. So, give me a second. I have to readjust.

00:14:00.710 --> 00:14:04.970
I have to move you around. Because you can't

00:14:04.970 --> 00:14:08.289
see the map from there. So, hang on. We have

00:14:08.289 --> 00:14:12.549
to readjust. Put you on a different holder real

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quick. Stand by. Oh, you're going to the ceiling.

00:14:17.220 --> 00:14:21.980
Get excited. Get excited. And look, there's my

00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:24.899
other phone holder. All right. Now, let's move

00:14:24.899 --> 00:14:28.639
all this stuff out of the way, shall we? All

00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:32.580
right. Now, let's get our map out here. Today

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is July the 15th. Sarah Beth, you've been saying

00:14:37.580 --> 00:14:41.759
it's the 14th for 20 minutes. Stupid. 15th. Today's

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15th. Don't write no checks and take my word

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for it, good Lord. I'm telling you, I'm not well.

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I got too hot today, and I blame CERN again for

00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:59.799
that. I feel like that was an unnecessary heat

00:14:59.799 --> 00:15:02.480
wave that we've been having going on, but that's

00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:07.220
all right. Can I please have thank you? All right.

00:15:07.259 --> 00:15:09.080
I was looking for the rest of my comments so

00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:10.620
I could still see them. Where's my crowns? All

00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:13.519
right. All right, all right. Oh, Lord, we gotta

00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:18.019
catch up. I just saw the first one sharing in

00:15:18.019 --> 00:15:22.360
Virginia. That's where I'm picking up. Just grabbing

00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:27.220
a color. Not brown. Why? Why was it brown? Color

00:15:27.220 --> 00:15:36.080
in. Oh, Virginia. East Virginia, if you will.

00:15:37.819 --> 00:15:40.120
All right, hello, Virginia. Welcome to the porch.

00:15:40.220 --> 00:15:43.320
Okay, Oregon. Let's keep our crowns out so I

00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:44.899
don't have to dig in Mary's rear end over here.

00:15:46.419 --> 00:15:48.159
I'm gonna color your green. Is that all right?

00:15:48.220 --> 00:15:50.080
I like this color green. Reminds me of springtime.

00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:56.120
Got Oregon on the porch this evening, thank goodness.

00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:58.679
Hello, Arkansas. Hi, Connie. I'm not gonna put

00:15:58.679 --> 00:16:01.019
gray. Why am I picking up all the ugly colors?

00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:02.879
That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my

00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:04.840
life. Going there to pick out a pretty color

00:16:04.840 --> 00:16:07.610
and I pick out a gray and a brown. What's that

00:16:07.610 --> 00:16:12.330
about? Anyway, Arkansas in the house. Hello.

00:16:14.190 --> 00:16:15.730
Alabama, hi, April. I was wondering if you was

00:16:15.730 --> 00:16:19.850
on the porch tonight. What's up, girl? Alabama.

00:16:24.450 --> 00:16:26.789
Sorry, I'm, like, fighting the stand over here.

00:16:26.850 --> 00:16:29.629
I might have to, like, go up underneath it. All

00:16:29.629 --> 00:16:32.450
right, moving down Georgia. Hi, Melissa. What's

00:16:32.450 --> 00:16:35.830
going on in hot Georgia today? Anything important?

00:16:36.070 --> 00:16:37.509
Gotta get another crown out. Let's go purple.

00:16:38.169 --> 00:16:43.350
Why not? We've seen George on the mat. It's purple.

00:16:46.090 --> 00:16:48.690
Alright, where else? Iowa. Hello, Mary Ellen.

00:16:48.830 --> 00:16:50.590
How are you in Iowa tonight? What's going on

00:16:50.590 --> 00:16:58.990
up there? Anything of note? Any word from Des

00:16:58.990 --> 00:17:04.720
Moines? Arkansas, see ya! I say hi, Amy in Kentucky.

00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:08.519
Let's get us another color roll in here. I use

00:17:08.519 --> 00:17:21.680
purple. Oh, well, that's appropriate. Blue. Got

00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:25.140
Kentucky there for you, babies. Good to see you.

00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:32.819
Canada! Can't write it down. Ha ha. Oh, and I

00:17:32.819 --> 00:17:35.859
also need to write the date. Today is 7 -15 -26.

00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:38.779
I keep track so we can see how far our porch

00:17:38.779 --> 00:17:44.420
is spreading. Missouri. Hello, KD. What's going

00:17:44.420 --> 00:17:58.059
on in Missouri tonight? The show me state. Glad

00:17:58.059 --> 00:18:02.069
to have you from Missouri. Oh, well, hello, gotcha.

00:18:02.150 --> 00:18:16.009
Oh, hi. Let's get some Ohio up in here. Good

00:18:16.009 --> 00:18:18.190
to see you here on the porch, Ohio. Good to see

00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:21.670
Michigan. Hi, Christy. Or is that? Yeah, that's

00:18:21.670 --> 00:18:23.609
Michigan. I look too quick. I was like, wait.

00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:28.890
Wait a minute. Make sure I know my postal abbreviations.

00:18:33.450 --> 00:18:34.769
Don't want anybody thinking I don't know where

00:18:34.769 --> 00:18:40.150
I'm at, where I'm going, what I'm doing. All

00:18:40.150 --> 00:18:41.930
right, glad to have Michigan on the porch. Hello.

00:18:42.029 --> 00:18:44.049
Hello, Shirley in Kentucky. Got you colored in.

00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:47.769
Hello, Jessica in Florida. Let's get Florida

00:18:47.769 --> 00:18:49.150
in here. You know, let's go that pretty green

00:18:49.150 --> 00:18:50.930
again. We need some more green down here by Florida.

00:18:55.190 --> 00:18:57.329
FYI, I will be at the Destin Songwriters Festival

00:18:57.329 --> 00:19:00.529
in October, so that announcement went out today,

00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:06.720
so super excited. Texas is in the house. Hello,

00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:12.680
Elizabeth. How are you tonight, darling? We always

00:19:12.680 --> 00:19:14.799
go red with Texas. I'm gonna do pink Texas tonight.

00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:17.279
That's just what I feel like. It's my map. Color

00:19:17.279 --> 00:19:22.460
it whatever color I want to. Glad to have you

00:19:22.460 --> 00:19:28.279
here from Texas on the porch. Welcome. All right.

00:19:28.519 --> 00:19:31.759
Moving right along. Tennessee, hello, Scarlett.

00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:36.940
How in the world are you? Why? I'm going to get

00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:38.759
rid of that brown. It just keeps popping up.

00:19:44.359 --> 00:19:48.720
All right. Tennessee. Hello from Mississippi.

00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:50.640
Hello, Cynthia. How in the world have you been?

00:19:50.920 --> 00:19:55.500
Doing all right, I hope. I need a different color.

00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:58.000
What color do I want? I need to just pull one

00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:03.519
out of Mary here. Hang on. There we go. Sorry.

00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:05.460
Let's make sure I got the right color Mississippi.

00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:14.579
All right, Mississippi's on the porch. Good to

00:20:14.579 --> 00:20:17.819
see you. Hello, Angela in Kentucky. Happy birthday

00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:20.299
to Carrie. Mississippi, Pennsylvania. Hello,

00:20:20.460 --> 00:20:27.160
Shanna. Sorry, I had to have a sip of my tea.

00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:32.119
Pennsylvania's on the porch. Good to see you.

00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:36.670
South Carolina. Hi, Barbara. How are you today?

00:20:40.670 --> 00:20:46.390
Glad to have you here. Hearts, West Virginia.

00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:50.589
Hello, Jamie. Thanks for being on the porch tonight.

00:20:51.049 --> 00:20:53.069
I'm gonna go green for West Virginia because

00:20:53.069 --> 00:20:58.829
it's awful green here right now. On the porch

00:20:58.829 --> 00:21:01.680
from Nashville. Hi, Lori. We'll be in Nashville

00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.559
coming up here pretty soon. I gotta travel through

00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:09.279
on my way to Camden, Tennessee. Oh, I'm a -lovin'

00:21:09.319 --> 00:21:25.480
it. You wanted purple? Well, Christy, I did green.

00:21:26.660 --> 00:21:30.500
Sherry's in Illinois. I'm sorry. You should have

00:21:30.500 --> 00:21:35.059
said something quicker. Tuning in from Illinois

00:21:35.059 --> 00:21:39.839
in a beautiful spring green. Welcome to the porch.

00:21:40.900 --> 00:21:43.119
Illinois, Illinois, Kentucky, Mississippi, Kentucky,

00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:49.420
Ohio. Wisconsin, hello! Hi, Holly. I'm so glad

00:21:49.420 --> 00:21:53.440
that you're here. We gotta get Wisconsin colored

00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:55.779
in. I was just talking Wisconsin the other day.

00:21:57.750 --> 00:21:59.930
Spotted cows and squeaky cheese, two of my favorite

00:21:59.930 --> 00:22:02.589
things up there. Every time I go, I look for

00:22:02.589 --> 00:22:04.190
the big statue of my friend Johnny Stanton, who

00:22:04.190 --> 00:22:05.410
was born and raised there, but they haven't put

00:22:05.410 --> 00:22:07.529
one up yet, so, you know, just keep wishing.

00:22:09.849 --> 00:22:11.769
Glad to have Wisconsin in the house tonight.

00:22:12.450 --> 00:22:15.970
Thank you so much for being here. Hi, Heather

00:22:15.970 --> 00:22:19.430
in South Carolina. Got you colored in. Arizona.

00:22:21.390 --> 00:22:24.890
Fantastic. Fantastic! I love when we get to color

00:22:24.890 --> 00:22:27.680
in a state out west. Cause you know I'm probably

00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:29.799
kin to like 90 % of the people in here. I don't

00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:33.180
hardly know nobody out there. I don't know if

00:22:33.180 --> 00:22:37.920
I have any cousins out there. Probably. Alright.

00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:43.140
Indiana, welcome to the porch. Glad to have you.

00:22:44.299 --> 00:22:47.819
What color haven't we done up that way yet? We

00:22:47.819 --> 00:22:49.559
ain't done a real pretty purple up that way yet.

00:22:51.019 --> 00:23:01.539
Let's go darker. It's pretty purple. Alrighty.

00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:05.160
Welcome. Hello, Carolyn and Inez. Hello, Susan

00:23:05.160 --> 00:23:07.259
and Letcher County. Hi, Robin and Irvin. Angie's

00:23:07.259 --> 00:23:10.759
in Ohio. Karen's in Oklahoma. I don't have to

00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:12.619
sing it every time, sir, but you don't have to

00:23:12.619 --> 00:23:15.400
sing it every single time. It's just the musical

00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:25.039
theater geek in me. Oklahoma. Mammoth Cave, good

00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:28.240
to see ya. Sweet corn is delicious in Iowa. I'm

00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.220
sure it is. Send me some. Hello from Buffalo,

00:23:30.339 --> 00:23:33.000
New York. Hello, Roseanne. What color are you

00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:37.859
in? New York? Nope, can't go purple. Just did

00:23:37.859 --> 00:23:47.099
purple. Got a whole different color. Good to

00:23:47.099 --> 00:23:49.299
see New York on the porch and the little island.

00:23:53.150 --> 00:23:55.170
Thornburg, Virginia. Hello, Nicole. Glad to see

00:23:55.170 --> 00:23:57.910
you. Scottsdale, Arizona. Heidi. Pennsylvania,

00:23:58.329 --> 00:24:02.069
Arizona. Sharon just pulled her back out pulling

00:24:02.069 --> 00:24:04.390
weeds. Well, I've done that. I threw my neck

00:24:04.390 --> 00:24:06.150
out and blow -dried my hair yesterday, so I get

00:24:06.150 --> 00:24:09.230
it. Heather's in from South Carolina. Good to

00:24:09.230 --> 00:24:11.630
see you. Waco, Texas. Hi, Delton. Missouri in

00:24:11.630 --> 00:24:14.390
the house. Hi, Melissa. Greetings from Wisconsin.

00:24:14.589 --> 00:24:17.309
Greetings back to you, Brandy. Robbins in California.

00:24:20.089 --> 00:24:38.210
Let's get that colored in out there. All right,

00:24:38.250 --> 00:24:41.289
there it is. Pennsylvania, hello, Stephanie.

00:24:41.450 --> 00:24:43.490
Good to see you. Do you know the rest of our

00:24:43.490 --> 00:24:45.109
crew in Pennsylvania? Have y 'all met each other?

00:24:45.190 --> 00:24:50.410
Yep. Anderson West, by God, hello. Tennessee,

00:24:50.450 --> 00:24:54.109
hi, Scarlett. Cheryl's in from Virginia, hello.

00:24:54.710 --> 00:24:58.980
Parker, glad to have you on the Maxon. Caroline

00:24:58.980 --> 00:25:01.319
got her ticket for Destin. Thank goodness. South

00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:06.799
Carolina's in the house. Illinois. Illinois.

00:25:07.819 --> 00:25:15.920
Nancy's in Alabama. South Carolina. Hello, Texas.

00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:20.000
Indiana. I feel like William Shatner on Miss

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:26.660
Congeniality. Missouri. West Virginia, California,

00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:35.799
Illinois. Indiana, Indiana. Wait, Vicki and Debbie,

00:25:35.980 --> 00:25:37.279
y 'all need to meet. Y 'all are both in Indiana.

00:25:39.319 --> 00:25:41.680
Michael's in Ohio. Hello, Michael. Welcome back

00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:45.420
up this way. Glad to have you. Here from North

00:25:45.420 --> 00:25:47.240
Carolina, finally. Julie, we got somebody from

00:25:47.240 --> 00:25:48.500
North Carolina. I was beginning to think that

00:25:48.500 --> 00:25:52.480
somebody forgot to put us on their feed. I'll

00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:54.539
be back in North Carolina on the 22nd day of

00:25:54.539 --> 00:25:56.839
August in Sapphire for a show. So those tickets

00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:59.079
are on my website if you haven't got those yet.

00:25:59.099 --> 00:26:00.539
Get them quick because there's only about 50

00:26:00.539 --> 00:26:05.900
tickets for that show. Okay, we've got the South

00:26:05.900 --> 00:26:07.599
just about covered. I went for Louisiana to show

00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:15.460
it. California, hello Robin, I saw you. New York,

00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:18.779
hi Sarah. Carol Polly Rogers is in West Virginia.

00:26:20.840 --> 00:26:22.920
Oh, goodness. Y 'all got smoky air up in Wisconsin?

00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:29.740
Thanks, Shawna. I colored it pink because I liked

00:26:29.740 --> 00:26:33.119
that color. Melissa's up in Westchester, Pennsylvania.

00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:35.779
Good to see you. Oh, thank you, April. Appreciate

00:26:35.779 --> 00:26:38.579
that. Sandy's in Dunbar. Listen, I'm going to

00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:39.940
come up there and go junk, so let me know when

00:26:39.940 --> 00:26:42.740
you're free because we'll go together. Arizona,

00:26:42.940 --> 00:26:45.880
Missouri, Montana. I want you to camp for Idaho,

00:26:45.940 --> 00:26:47.720
too. Well, I'm glad you told me because I wouldn't

00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:52.220
have counted it. Been to Montana, ain't been

00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:56.500
to Idaho, so. Sometimes I feel like it looks

00:26:56.500 --> 00:26:58.819
like somebody's just looking down on Idaho, just

00:26:58.819 --> 00:27:00.500
like looking over them. That's like a little

00:27:00.500 --> 00:27:02.779
angel face there in the corner of Montana. That's

00:27:02.779 --> 00:27:08.519
what I always thought it looked like. Idaho.

00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:16.299
We're starting to color in. Look at our Upper

00:27:16.299 --> 00:27:22.700
Northwest filling out. Good with green. Nothing

00:27:22.700 --> 00:27:27.420
from the Goodwill this week ain't bent. Emphasis

00:27:27.420 --> 00:27:29.180
on Southern Illinois. I'm right there with you,

00:27:29.220 --> 00:27:34.680
sis. I understand. Thank you, Parker. Thanks

00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:37.740
for sending people to like and follow and subscribe.

00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:41.119
That's awesome. Hello, Julie in Spruce Pine,

00:27:41.180 --> 00:27:43.319
North Carolina. Good to see you. Alicia just

00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:45.660
grew up in East Tennessee. Anybody got in that

00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:49.799
area? The Smoky Mountain area. I got North Carolina.

00:27:49.819 --> 00:27:54.220
Found you. There you are. Oklahoma, New York,

00:27:54.279 --> 00:27:57.279
California. Oh, what? Louisiana. There you are,

00:27:57.299 --> 00:27:59.420
Sherry. I was waiting for a Louisiana. We didn't

00:27:59.420 --> 00:28:11.380
have one yet. And that surprised me. I'm loving

00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:14.920
it. Kentucky, Minnesota. Now we get to color

00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:30.119
in Minnesota. Good to see you. Welcome to the

00:28:30.119 --> 00:28:35.940
porch. Look at us. We've got more coverage right

00:28:35.940 --> 00:28:47.779
now than AT &T. North Carolina. Hi, Jewel. Oh,

00:28:47.779 --> 00:28:49.000
I love that y 'all are making friends on the

00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:50.960
porch. That's what it's about. Texas, I see ya.

00:28:51.019 --> 00:28:54.269
How are you, Bobby? Ashley's from South Carolina

00:28:54.269 --> 00:28:55.589
and West Virginia. Got them both colored in.

00:28:55.630 --> 00:28:57.490
We're good. California's nice. Louisiana's here.

00:28:57.630 --> 00:29:01.809
Minnesota. Yes, ma 'am, Amanda. You know the

00:29:01.809 --> 00:29:05.690
rest of the words. That's awesome. Oh, I love

00:29:05.690 --> 00:29:13.829
it. I'm just scrolling down. Oh, I love this.

00:29:13.910 --> 00:29:16.730
Look at all of us. Salem, Virginia. Oh, Minnesota.

00:29:18.130 --> 00:29:24.000
Planning on same fire. There's Cynthia. Hi. I

00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:27.200
love this. Minnesota's in the house. Garfield,

00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:29.079
Georgia. Hi, Heather. I was wondering if he was

00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:30.880
going to be on the porch tonight. Melissa, am

00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:33.059
I doing any shows in Pennsylvania? No, but if

00:29:33.059 --> 00:29:35.380
you book me up there, I will. Thank you, Teresa,

00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:38.839
for liking my song. Parker, I'm glad that you're

00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:40.339
here from Canada, brother. Oh, and Denise is

00:29:40.339 --> 00:29:41.660
here from Canada. Do y 'all know each other?

00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:44.539
Y 'all should meet. Sherry's in Knoxville. Ashley's

00:29:44.539 --> 00:29:47.319
watching from Louisville. Hello. Kansas. Hi,

00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:49.519
Sherry. Let's get you on here. We ain't got Kansas

00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:55.529
yet. How dare us not put... Why can't I get a

00:29:55.529 --> 00:29:58.509
crown that's worth a shit today? Everyone I pick

00:29:58.509 --> 00:30:01.009
up is like... Maybe they got too hot today. They're

00:30:01.009 --> 00:30:03.569
kind of melty. Maybe I should put it more in

00:30:03.569 --> 00:30:06.049
the shade, not on the porch, you know? Crowns

00:30:06.049 --> 00:30:08.950
of the sun, they are made of wax. Amanda's here

00:30:08.950 --> 00:30:12.829
from Upstate New York. West by God, Virginia.

00:30:12.930 --> 00:30:17.150
Hi, Kate. Jason's in Eastern Canada. Another

00:30:17.150 --> 00:30:23.480
Canadian. Love it. Hello, Brittany. Welcome back.

00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:31.599
Hi, Melissa. Watching from Oregon. So glad, Brittany,

00:30:31.660 --> 00:30:32.839
that you're going to be down towards Destin.

00:30:33.880 --> 00:30:37.160
Mississippi's here. Hi, Lisa. So, this is who's

00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:40.039
watching so far this evening on the porch. Where

00:30:40.039 --> 00:30:42.200
is Washington? Well, Washington's here on the

00:30:42.200 --> 00:30:43.660
map, or you could be talking about D .C., which

00:30:43.660 --> 00:30:45.920
is way up here. So, you know, which one are you

00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:48.859
from? And I'll color it in. Jennifer, we will

00:30:48.859 --> 00:30:50.960
pray for your aunt. Everybody pray for Jennifer

00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:52.440
Zant. She's been in the hospital for almost a

00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:56.920
month and her health's going downhill. Christy,

00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:58.539
feral Christian retreat. That's awesome. We are

00:30:58.539 --> 00:31:00.359
doing a feral Christian in the wild in Greenup,

00:31:00.359 --> 00:31:04.640
Kentucky on August the 20th. Is there a bit?

00:31:08.339 --> 00:31:11.539
20th. That's right. August the 20th. So you can

00:31:11.539 --> 00:31:15.220
get tickets to that as well. Melissa's shouting

00:31:15.220 --> 00:31:19.240
out to the show me state. Oh, and Chris, you

00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:20.819
accepted your friend request today, so now we're

00:31:20.819 --> 00:31:23.720
officially friends. So, see what I'm saying?

00:31:23.819 --> 00:31:26.640
We gotta get some... We gotta go out west and

00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:31.259
do some shows, I think. And we gotta get some

00:31:31.259 --> 00:31:35.839
shows up in here, too. So, you know. Lucky they're

00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:41.539
making friends on the porch. I appreciate y 'all

00:31:41.539 --> 00:31:43.220
being here. And I love that we lift each other

00:31:43.220 --> 00:31:44.920
up on the porch. We celebrate with each other.

00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:46.539
We pray with each other. We cry with each other.

00:31:46.579 --> 00:31:48.240
We bitch with each other. We smoke with each

00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:53.400
other. It's what we do. So I'm glad to see that

00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:54.940
you all are taking it off the porch and onto

00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:56.539
your own porches because that's what it's about.

00:31:59.920 --> 00:32:01.759
Oh my goodness. Sorry, that was right in your

00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:06.140
all's ear. So this is what we have represented

00:32:06.140 --> 00:32:11.039
on the porch tonight. Tina's in Taze Valley,

00:32:11.059 --> 00:32:12.920
West Virginia. Me too. Tina, why ain't we met

00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:18.900
yet? Hello. I'm just right down the road. Jen,

00:32:18.940 --> 00:32:20.319
we're praying for you, darling. I'm gonna put

00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:21.799
you on my prayer list this evening too when I

00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:23.420
get to talking to God by myself. I usually walk

00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:24.740
out in the garden and visit with him before I

00:32:24.740 --> 00:32:28.720
go to bed. I'd love to come to Oregon, Denise.

00:32:28.940 --> 00:32:31.640
Book me a show. Have me a private concert. Invite

00:32:31.640 --> 00:32:33.259
20 of your closest friends and charge them 20

00:32:33.259 --> 00:32:36.180
bucks a piece. I don't know. Have us out there.

00:32:38.259 --> 00:32:41.099
Hello, Anna and Larry from Ohio. Happy anniversary.

00:32:41.220 --> 00:32:44.279
Married 54 years. Melissa made her RSVP for the

00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:45.940
Destined Songwriter special. That is awesome.

00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:48.980
My darling husband Sean's watching. April, I'll

00:32:48.980 --> 00:32:50.400
look for that on my friend request. Thank you

00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:51.940
so much. I always like to have friends in Alabama.

00:32:54.279 --> 00:32:58.940
Hi, Erica. Look at all these people we got. Look

00:32:58.940 --> 00:33:05.440
how big my porch is. So excited. Yes, call me

00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:07.259
tomorrow because there's been a change in the

00:33:07.259 --> 00:33:09.279
schedule. And I think it's gonna help us both

00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:14.380
out. Right? So excited to see you. Another Okie

00:33:14.380 --> 00:33:17.519
on the porch. Hello, Karen. Welcome. We're so

00:33:17.519 --> 00:33:20.140
glad to have you here. Hello from Southeast New

00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:23.960
Mexico. Oh, and Angela was baptized tonight.

00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:26.400
Welcome back to the family, sis. Glad you came

00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:29.779
home. Let's color in New Mexico, shall we? Because

00:33:29.779 --> 00:33:32.480
we don't ever get to. I like purple tonight for

00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:34.319
some reason. Maybe it's because I looked at the

00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:39.400
sunset. Maybe it's because I'm wearing a purple

00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:42.180
shirt. Maybe it's because I have a Barney flashback

00:33:42.180 --> 00:33:43.480
from when I was a kid. Hell, I don't know, but

00:33:43.480 --> 00:33:48.500
I'm looking purple tonight. So, glad to have

00:33:48.500 --> 00:33:50.660
you. Welcome to Mix -Up. See, you see this very

00:33:50.660 --> 00:33:53.119
definitive line that we don't have no porches

00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:57.640
on? What's up? We gotta get some porches. Hi,

00:33:57.700 --> 00:34:00.180
donation. We gotta get some porches in Nevada

00:34:00.180 --> 00:34:06.970
and Utah and... Wyoming and the Dakotas. Rhonda,

00:34:07.009 --> 00:34:08.730
that one's only gonna be live at the shows for

00:34:08.730 --> 00:34:09.989
the next couple weeks, and then we're gonna put

00:34:09.989 --> 00:34:12.650
some online. I ordered a small batch to begin

00:34:12.650 --> 00:34:18.550
with. But, thank you, Michelle. That popped up

00:34:18.550 --> 00:34:20.289
in my memories, and I thought, I know it ain't

00:34:20.289 --> 00:34:22.230
our anniversary, but I love him just as much

00:34:22.230 --> 00:34:25.150
as the day I married him, and love him even more

00:34:25.150 --> 00:34:27.710
every day, so why not share my wedding videos

00:34:27.710 --> 00:34:31.829
for me? Hello, Tammy. Went to high school with

00:34:31.829 --> 00:34:34.150
Tammy. Good to see you. You gonna come to one

00:34:34.150 --> 00:34:37.289
of my shows sometime? I'm gonna be in Wolf County

00:34:37.289 --> 00:34:42.510
next Saturday. So, come see me. Glad that you're

00:34:42.510 --> 00:34:44.730
here. I love when we all get to get on the porch

00:34:44.730 --> 00:34:46.289
and shout out where we're from and then y 'all

00:34:46.289 --> 00:34:48.250
like go, hey, come play at this place or hey,

00:34:48.309 --> 00:34:50.210
come play at this place or hey, would you come

00:34:50.210 --> 00:34:53.530
to my pool party or my house concert or my barbecue

00:34:53.530 --> 00:34:57.030
or my whatever. Brisk. I don't care. We'll be

00:34:57.030 --> 00:35:01.400
there. Just holler. I'm about to be petted extras

00:35:01.400 --> 00:35:02.840
because I dropped one of my cigarettes on the

00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:04.159
ground and I'm picking it up through my toes.

00:35:06.219 --> 00:35:07.960
Not the part I put in my mouth. Don't worry.

00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:11.340
I wish you could see this. I'm so... Look, picked

00:35:11.340 --> 00:35:17.280
it right up with my toes. Oh, I love it. Thank

00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:22.639
you for sending an invite to Wyoming. Congratulations.

00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:24.639
That is so cool. I've really been thinking about

00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:26.179
getting re -baptized and I've been baptized a

00:35:26.179 --> 00:35:28.329
lot. I was baptized also for tradition when I

00:35:28.329 --> 00:35:29.889
was nine. I was baptized out of guilt when I

00:35:29.889 --> 00:35:31.869
was in my 30s. And now I think I want to do it

00:35:31.869 --> 00:35:35.429
for the real reasons, you know. I've been saved

00:35:35.429 --> 00:35:37.309
a long time, but it's something about rededicating

00:35:37.309 --> 00:35:39.409
your life to Christ that renews your... It's

00:35:39.409 --> 00:35:40.949
kind of like getting a new library card. You're

00:35:40.949 --> 00:35:42.469
like, I've been to the library before, but now

00:35:42.469 --> 00:35:45.550
I can look at all these books and come hang out,

00:35:45.590 --> 00:35:51.269
and it's quiet. Laura's in Arizona. Hello. Jeanette's

00:35:51.269 --> 00:35:52.929
here from Illinois. Whether or not they say Jeanette

00:35:52.929 --> 00:35:57.159
barely is pregnant. Like, if you ain't said nothing,

00:35:57.280 --> 00:35:58.960
that's exactly right, Parker. You might be my

00:35:58.960 --> 00:36:01.159
biggest fan up north. And up there in America's

00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:07.719
top hat. If you ain't seen your state colored

00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:09.500
in yet, then what are you waiting for? Holler.

00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:12.579
If you ain't seen your country, be like, put

00:36:12.579 --> 00:36:15.000
my country on there and I'll write down. Normally

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:35.619
we have, we have Australia in the house. I'm

00:36:35.619 --> 00:36:38.380
so glad that y 'all spread the love and spread

00:36:38.380 --> 00:36:41.780
the porch. And just know that you always got

00:36:41.780 --> 00:36:45.079
a friend on the porch. I don't care what time

00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:47.179
of day or night. The fan's usually on. There's

00:36:47.179 --> 00:36:49.280
sweet tea in the fridge. Just don't forget to

00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:51.440
feed the cat. And, you know, make sure you shut

00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:55.340
up the chickens if it's dark. Chrissy said the

00:36:55.340 --> 00:36:56.760
fire alarm went off in the church when she got

00:36:56.760 --> 00:36:58.860
dipped. Well, there's that. I fell in the baptistry

00:36:58.860 --> 00:37:01.940
the first time. Fell in. Slept. Splashed. They

00:37:01.940 --> 00:37:03.860
yanked me back up. Dipped me again. Double dipped

00:37:03.860 --> 00:37:10.159
in Jesus. Arkansas is here. Hi, Rita. Parker,

00:37:10.219 --> 00:37:11.880
I know, right? It's like something about doing

00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:13.039
it when you're older. It's kind of like getting

00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.440
married when you're in your 40s. Like the first

00:37:14.440 --> 00:37:15.659
time you do it because that's the next logical

00:37:15.659 --> 00:37:18.000
step, you know? And then this time you did it

00:37:18.000 --> 00:37:19.739
because it's a conscious decision and you decide

00:37:19.739 --> 00:37:21.960
that you want to live that way. So, I mean, it's

00:37:21.960 --> 00:37:25.219
the same way, I think. So, I think I'm going

00:37:25.219 --> 00:37:27.360
to get baptized again. I might go live with it.

00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:30.280
So, you know, y 'all, I'm transparent with y

00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:35.190
'all. All right, I think that we have come to

00:37:35.190 --> 00:37:41.349
a standstill on coloring. Jersey, Patricia! Put

00:37:41.349 --> 00:37:44.309
tickets along! I was beginning to think that

00:37:44.309 --> 00:37:50.690
you'd never show up. Got you. I'm sorry you didn't

00:37:50.690 --> 00:37:52.289
see me color, but there you are. Colored you.

00:37:55.429 --> 00:37:57.369
Brian, why would I eat these? I'm not in the

00:37:57.369 --> 00:38:05.199
Marine Corps. Had I heard. Cynthia got baptized

00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:07.059
in the river the last time. I think that I want

00:38:07.059 --> 00:38:08.840
to be baptized in the creek or the river. I feel

00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:12.079
like that's more on point with what I'm doing,

00:38:12.179 --> 00:38:16.739
what I'm saying, who I am now. So pretty excited.

00:38:16.860 --> 00:38:20.699
Okay, so we've got our mission porch. We've got

00:38:20.699 --> 00:38:24.019
to get the west and we've got to get the New

00:38:24.019 --> 00:38:25.780
England area. They don't seem to know too much

00:38:25.780 --> 00:38:29.719
about the porch yet. Happy anniversary, Tammy.

00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:32.539
It was their 43rd anniversary. Happy anniversary.

00:38:33.579 --> 00:38:35.179
Pick up somebody's dirty underwear that long

00:38:35.179 --> 00:38:42.059
is a miracle in any right. Oh, Janie got baptized

00:38:42.059 --> 00:38:43.840
in the Greek and it was snowing. My goodness.

00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:52.159
Transylvania University. Yes. Let's turn you

00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.599
around. Transylvania. That's where I went to

00:38:55.599 --> 00:39:00.429
college. It's in Lake St. Kentucky. What cat

00:39:00.429 --> 00:39:02.889
food do I buy? Meow Mix because the raccoons

00:39:02.889 --> 00:39:06.469
eat as much of it as the cat does. Hi, darling.

00:39:06.989 --> 00:39:09.150
Did you see how many on the porch tonight? I

00:39:09.150 --> 00:39:12.510
did. That's awesome. Oh, Cigarette Daddy's out

00:39:12.510 --> 00:39:14.250
here. They always ask about you. You might as

00:39:14.250 --> 00:39:18.670
well just pop over and say hi. Okay. This is

00:39:18.670 --> 00:39:20.530
my husband, if you never got to see him before.

00:39:20.610 --> 00:39:24.710
Isn't he adorable? And he's all mine. He has

00:39:24.710 --> 00:39:26.989
to love me forever because this is so... Yeah.

00:39:27.809 --> 00:39:30.030
And where I'm a drummer, I don't... I really

00:39:30.030 --> 00:39:32.389
kind of hate rings on my fingers. Like, if we're

00:39:32.389 --> 00:39:35.449
going out somewhere, I'll put on jewelry, right?

00:39:35.869 --> 00:39:38.289
Puts on his jewelry. Couple rings, bracelets.

00:39:38.409 --> 00:39:40.489
I have some watches, but I don't like wearing

00:39:40.489 --> 00:39:44.289
rings. So, we just did that. So, he's the king

00:39:44.289 --> 00:39:46.750
of hearts, and I'm the queen. Because I'm the

00:39:46.750 --> 00:39:50.250
king of her heart. He is. And I'm his queen bee.

00:39:50.590 --> 00:39:52.489
Right. I'm everybody's queen bee, but I'm mostly

00:39:52.489 --> 00:39:56.570
his. Hi, babe. Hi. We were all talking about,

00:39:56.630 --> 00:39:59.570
uh, I want to get baptized again. And a lot of

00:39:59.570 --> 00:40:01.670
my... See y 'all later. A lot of my followers

00:40:01.670 --> 00:40:05.269
do, too. Yeah. So, I think that I might do that

00:40:05.269 --> 00:40:09.010
live with them one day. Cool. And rededicate

00:40:09.010 --> 00:40:11.829
mine. I think that's awesome. Randy said, hi,

00:40:11.909 --> 00:40:15.369
Cigarette Daddy. Mm -hmm. Should we do it like

00:40:15.369 --> 00:40:17.889
the old South? Diddy? D -E -D -D -Y? Diddy? Ask

00:40:17.889 --> 00:40:20.789
them about my hair. Okay. Come back over. We

00:40:20.789 --> 00:40:22.250
have to take a poll. Well, they just saw me.

00:40:22.289 --> 00:40:25.949
No. Come back over. Pull up a picture of what

00:40:25.949 --> 00:40:28.099
it was that you did. Okay. and then we'll do

00:40:28.099 --> 00:40:31.340
it we're we're having a poll okay i i like sean's

00:40:31.340 --> 00:40:37.199
hair short but he likes it long and the one of

00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:43.719
us at the beach i'm i'm i'm getting it so this

00:40:43.719 --> 00:40:46.599
was us when we first started dating this was

00:40:46.599 --> 00:40:49.420
like two days into our relationship you see his

00:40:49.420 --> 00:40:53.239
hair you see his hair do you see it we're not

00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:54.900
gonna i know i look good but look at his hair

00:40:54.900 --> 00:40:57.639
so now that's what it was three years ago okay

00:40:57.639 --> 00:41:01.000
now this was you're not gonna come back over

00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:03.059
that's not the accurate depiction your hair's

00:41:03.059 --> 00:41:08.420
no ponytail on that so now um it's this so should

00:41:08.420 --> 00:41:11.440
we continue to let it grow it's getting pretty

00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:17.500
long and it's um it's hot yeah it's hot so or

00:41:17.500 --> 00:41:22.469
should he cut it We're gonna ask the fan club.

00:41:22.590 --> 00:41:26.530
Okay. We'll let you all decide. That's your cigarette,

00:41:26.590 --> 00:41:30.030
not my bed. Like tonight, because I am roasting.

00:41:30.889 --> 00:41:34.969
Heller. Heller. So, we're picking, okay, long

00:41:34.969 --> 00:41:38.309
or short. So, leave it in the comments, because

00:41:38.309 --> 00:41:42.829
tomorrow we're gonna go live with either you

00:41:42.829 --> 00:41:45.489
trimming it or cutting it, because it still needs

00:41:45.489 --> 00:41:46.869
to be shaped regardless, because you're kind

00:41:46.869 --> 00:41:49.329
of looking like... brad pitt when he got real

00:41:49.329 --> 00:41:51.590
wild in legends of the fall before he found jesus

00:41:51.590 --> 00:41:55.429
i was thinking um what's the the guy's name off

00:41:55.429 --> 00:41:58.929
scooby -doo the tall blonde guy shaggy doesn't

00:41:58.929 --> 00:42:00.750
it kind of like that's not what i'm going for

00:42:00.750 --> 00:42:05.889
but i'm saying yeah it looks shaggy everybody's

00:42:05.889 --> 00:42:08.289
like cut it cut it cut it cut it short definitely

00:42:08.289 --> 00:42:12.769
cut it you know that your hair would make beautiful

00:42:12.769 --> 00:42:25.590
uh accruedments to Bird's Nest. What'd I say?

00:42:28.449 --> 00:42:34.010
Wasn't that? Oh my goodness. Short. Everybody's

00:42:34.010 --> 00:42:36.170
saying short. Cut for summer and then go back

00:42:36.170 --> 00:42:38.550
out for fall. Have you listened to Redneck Shit

00:42:38.550 --> 00:42:44.449
yet? By Gretchen Wilson because I was one of

00:42:44.449 --> 00:42:45.929
the writers on it. She put a video out today

00:42:45.929 --> 00:42:49.519
about And my hair was in beer cutters. And I

00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:51.320
had on that damn fur coat. I'm so glad she did

00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:56.039
that video in April. Because I'd have died. Brian

00:42:56.039 --> 00:42:59.320
said you look like Shaggy from Scooby -Doo. And

00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:08.619
he acts like him too. It's a joke. It's a joke.

00:43:08.840 --> 00:43:12.519
Don't get your knickers in a twist. I said knickers.

00:43:13.300 --> 00:43:16.460
It's underwear. I just realized that word is.

00:43:16.989 --> 00:43:19.210
Probably not the best to say on a Facebook Live.

00:43:19.309 --> 00:43:27.610
With a hard K. With a hard K. Nickers. I'm going

00:43:27.610 --> 00:43:31.289
to hell. Military man, go short, Carolyn said.

00:43:31.989 --> 00:43:35.050
Diggins said short. Holly, I'm sorry. I forgot

00:43:35.050 --> 00:43:36.869
your name was Holly, not Diggins. Short, short,

00:43:36.929 --> 00:43:40.469
short. Give him the number six on the buzzer,

00:43:40.469 --> 00:43:43.469
Parker said. That's coming from Canada. That's

00:43:43.469 --> 00:43:46.340
coming from up top. See, that's what I was thinking.

00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:49.420
That's coming from the top. So, like, okay, if

00:43:49.420 --> 00:43:51.619
they go to my Facebook page and look at my profile

00:43:51.619 --> 00:43:54.099
picture, that's kind of what I'm thinking the

00:43:54.099 --> 00:43:57.420
length. Tanya said we have to see you in beer

00:43:57.420 --> 00:44:03.460
colors before you cut it, though. I mean, we

00:44:03.460 --> 00:44:06.000
don't drink. We don't drink. You could get you

00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:08.739
some of them. Get some V8 cans. You don't drink

00:44:08.739 --> 00:44:11.480
V8 either. Don't lie. Get them monster cans.

00:44:12.139 --> 00:44:17.460
There you go. Big bouncy girls. With a hard case.

00:44:18.039 --> 00:44:26.760
Oh my gosh. Carrie Ann said it's been a repeat

00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:29.400
since it was released. Carrie Ann's here. Australia's

00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:31.300
in the house. See, I told you. If we stuck around

00:44:31.300 --> 00:44:34.199
long enough, we'd have Australia. You and Parker

00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:36.119
have that in common is that the same person's

00:44:36.119 --> 00:44:41.400
on your money. Isn't it? Isn't Queen Elizabeth

00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:44.380
on their money? Every time I get a quarter from

00:44:44.380 --> 00:44:46.840
one of them and it's got her on it. Not anymore.

00:44:47.159 --> 00:44:51.000
Well, not anymore, but I mean, we still have

00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:52.800
Sacagawea dollars and she ain't on them no more

00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:58.099
either. Listen, you need to do a tour down under

00:44:58.099 --> 00:45:00.400
with Kenny since we got some... You need to do

00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:06.940
a tour down under. Offsies in the house. I've

00:45:06.940 --> 00:45:09.619
been on that tour. You ain't been on it lately.

00:45:11.289 --> 00:45:16.409
We've done a little renovating. Anyway. If you

00:45:16.409 --> 00:45:18.269
donate it, cut it so they can make a wig out

00:45:18.269 --> 00:45:22.889
of it. That's awesome. Hi, Paula. I know you're

00:45:22.889 --> 00:45:26.269
my biggest fan, but thanks. We're not going to

00:45:26.269 --> 00:45:28.230
auction off your hair. That's creepy as shit.

00:45:31.030 --> 00:45:34.730
Donate it to Locks Live to make a wig. Not donate

00:45:34.730 --> 00:45:38.789
it to somebody to buy your hair. Creeper puts

00:45:38.789 --> 00:45:41.650
the lotion in the basket. I've never had long

00:45:41.650 --> 00:45:46.670
hair. They're dying right now. Short. I think

00:45:46.670 --> 00:45:49.329
this is a great idea. All right. Well, listen,

00:45:49.389 --> 00:45:51.449
I'm not going to let just anybody touch this.

00:45:51.610 --> 00:45:53.670
We got to call Amber. This wig I've been working

00:45:53.670 --> 00:45:56.690
on for like two years. So give me like a few

00:45:56.690 --> 00:45:58.610
days and I'll come back on and show you all the

00:45:58.610 --> 00:46:00.489
results. Grow 12 inches and have them donate

00:46:00.489 --> 00:46:01.929
to cancer patients. You are talking about hair,

00:46:01.969 --> 00:46:03.670
right? Already 12 inches. Wait, are we still

00:46:03.670 --> 00:46:09.139
talking about hair? We should be. Do pigtails.

00:46:09.219 --> 00:46:12.039
Oh, absolutely. I'm doing pigtails in your hair.

00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:14.519
We're going to do all kinds of hair designs before

00:46:14.519 --> 00:46:18.780
Sean cuts it. I'll hot roll it one day. I'll

00:46:18.780 --> 00:46:21.980
do like a whole Vivian Kay tight roll and tease.

00:46:22.340 --> 00:46:25.019
Like you're going to church on Sunday. Well,

00:46:25.019 --> 00:46:26.280
he went inside on that one. I don't think he

00:46:26.280 --> 00:46:30.940
wants me to tight roll his hair. Hi, Paula. Yeah,

00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:32.519
you have a bed at work. Well, tell him to say,

00:46:32.639 --> 00:46:37.699
screw y 'all. Everybody said hi to me. Carrie

00:46:37.699 --> 00:46:40.539
Ann, is it still cold down there? It's hot up

00:46:40.539 --> 00:46:44.980
here. But different styles of currency. So, see,

00:46:44.980 --> 00:46:47.179
I wasn't wrong. Her picture's on it. Just different

00:46:47.179 --> 00:46:53.860
denominations. See? I love that. Hi, Leah. I

00:46:53.860 --> 00:46:57.139
was just talking about you. In the best of ways.

00:46:57.300 --> 00:46:59.559
I wasn't talking bad about you at all. He did

00:46:59.559 --> 00:47:09.079
the man bun. He's too... Fair complected to pull

00:47:09.079 --> 00:47:14.980
off the ponytail. Is that the nice way? Is that

00:47:14.980 --> 00:47:16.960
the diplomatic way to say that? Is that the politically

00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:20.219
correct way to say don't do that? Joe Dirt mullet.

00:47:20.760 --> 00:47:22.500
When he cut it, he has to have a mullet for like

00:47:22.500 --> 00:47:27.619
at least an hour. Anyway. Undercut. Yeah, but

00:47:27.619 --> 00:47:29.519
then he starts to look like he might serve for

00:47:29.519 --> 00:47:35.480
a living. So, you know. I really want to make

00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:39.099
a wig for my... my turkey. And you'll see why

00:47:39.099 --> 00:47:43.320
soon. I forgot to look for that at the DG order.

00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:46.679
I was going to get a baby doll. Meh. You'll see.

00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:50.519
You'll see. It's fine. Telling you I have grand

00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:52.800
like a possum and shit all day long and I don't

00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:56.940
even know why. I'm just happy. French braid cornrows

00:47:56.940 --> 00:47:59.519
and an 80s tease. At the same time, because I'm

00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:02.079
thinking I could do like cornrows into a French

00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:04.199
braid and then like French twist it over here

00:48:04.199 --> 00:48:07.250
with like a Cyndi Lauper. Maybe we could put

00:48:07.250 --> 00:48:08.849
some color in it. I mean, since he's gonna cut

00:48:08.849 --> 00:48:12.150
it. Thank you, Brian Wayne. Well, I am down.

00:48:12.210 --> 00:48:14.250
If anybody's keeping count, in the last 11 days,

00:48:14.329 --> 00:48:24.570
I have lost... 10 .4 pounds. Woo. But that's

00:48:24.570 --> 00:48:27.070
10 pounds, and that's a whole bag of feed that

00:48:27.070 --> 00:48:28.769
I was carrying around these knees and on this

00:48:28.769 --> 00:48:33.150
ass. So, there you go. No man been right, Katie.

00:48:34.409 --> 00:48:36.900
10 degrees Celsius. Yeah, I was like, what is

00:48:36.900 --> 00:48:39.280
that in American temperature? Because, you know,

00:48:39.340 --> 00:48:44.099
we don't do that. We're bad at it. I'm in West,

00:48:44.119 --> 00:48:47.679
by God, Virginia. That's not where I'm from.

00:48:47.760 --> 00:48:50.980
I'm from Kentucky, from there. But then I married

00:48:50.980 --> 00:48:52.960
my drummer, and he moved me to the mountains

00:48:52.960 --> 00:49:05.079
of West Virginia. Julie! Alright. Well, thanks

00:49:05.079 --> 00:49:12.940
for the heads up. Anyway. That's what I'm looking

00:49:12.940 --> 00:49:17.400
at. So, we're just sitting on the porch. We went

00:49:17.400 --> 00:49:20.860
over today's events. Poor Liberace has died.

00:49:21.659 --> 00:49:26.559
But, in true Cerebritary fashion, I took some

00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:28.679
of my favorite feathers from him and I washed

00:49:28.679 --> 00:49:34.559
them today. Now they just came out of the dryer.

00:49:35.900 --> 00:49:39.500
You put them in a pillowcase. But he was so pretty.

00:49:40.579 --> 00:49:44.320
He was such a pretty rooster. So I've decided...

00:49:44.320 --> 00:49:47.599
Oh gosh, beautiful rooster. So I'm gonna make

00:49:47.599 --> 00:49:50.039
one of those Chris Stapleton crowns for my hat

00:49:50.039 --> 00:49:54.219
out of Liberace's feathers. So he'll always be

00:49:54.219 --> 00:49:56.980
with me. Thank you, Carrie Ann. I don't know

00:49:56.980 --> 00:49:59.559
what that is in metric. Does it more? Have I

00:49:59.559 --> 00:50:02.639
lost more in metric? Just tell me. Have I lost

00:50:02.639 --> 00:50:05.639
more if it's metric? What would that be? How

00:50:05.639 --> 00:50:10.280
many kilograms have I lost? Christy, that's awesome.

00:50:11.139 --> 00:50:14.699
That's awesome. I am proud of you. I started...

00:50:14.699 --> 00:50:17.119
Funny enough, I'll go ahead and be honest with

00:50:17.119 --> 00:50:20.460
you. And I never do this, so this will be the

00:50:20.460 --> 00:50:23.300
only time I ever say it. I was weighing in at

00:50:23.300 --> 00:50:26.820
the same as the celebration. And that's all I'll

00:50:26.820 --> 00:50:30.559
say. So now, I took it back ten and a half years.

00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:35.860
trying to get all the way back to uh when disco

00:50:35.860 --> 00:50:37.840
was in style you know i'm saying like i'm just

00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:42.380
keep keep taking her back taking her back so

00:50:42.380 --> 00:50:45.800
i have a medical condition called tma which is

00:50:45.800 --> 00:50:50.360
called too much ass problem is is that i have

00:50:50.360 --> 00:50:53.440
150 pound knees and i have a 225 pound ass and

00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:56.659
well i'm on the way to a 225 pound ass and they're

00:50:56.659 --> 00:50:58.639
starting to buckle under the weight so i have

00:50:58.639 --> 00:51:02.849
to really uh I won't have to really buckle down.

00:51:03.010 --> 00:51:06.909
But today I didn't go to the gym and put my crowns

00:51:06.909 --> 00:51:09.449
away because my mom taught me better than that.

00:51:13.210 --> 00:51:20.590
Crown holder. So I've been going to the gym and

00:51:20.590 --> 00:51:25.110
today I didn't because I hauled four 50 -pound

00:51:25.110 --> 00:51:28.960
bags of lime out to the coop. three 40 -pound

00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:31.340
bags of pellets out to the coop, one 50 -pound

00:51:31.340 --> 00:51:34.380
bag of coffee grounds out to the coop, six, no,

00:51:34.599 --> 00:51:36.960
Sarah don't lie, four bags of 50 -pound feet.

00:51:37.139 --> 00:51:40.420
So I figured, and then I cleaned out my kiddie

00:51:40.420 --> 00:51:44.739
pool and took 60 buckets, tripped over, tripped

00:51:44.739 --> 00:51:46.860
over a nail that was stuck in a board underneath

00:51:46.860 --> 00:51:49.380
a piece of patch of grass, and I had a croc blowout.

00:51:50.199 --> 00:51:52.159
Oh, and then I fell down in the ground, and I

00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:53.659
don't know if I passed out or had heat exhaustion,

00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:55.900
but I came to it about 20 minutes later. But

00:51:55.900 --> 00:52:02.400
looky there. I had a croc blowout. Now I gotta

00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:09.940
get new crocs. Damn it. Anyway. So that's what's

00:52:09.940 --> 00:52:13.000
going on. 2 .2 pounds is one kilogram. So no,

00:52:13.039 --> 00:52:15.039
I need to stay with pounds because I'm losing

00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:17.860
more pounds. I lose more weight with pounds.

00:52:20.380 --> 00:52:27.710
So. I have cut back quite a bit on my sody pups

00:52:27.710 --> 00:52:29.610
and my snacks. I think I'm just making more conscious

00:52:29.610 --> 00:52:31.130
decisions. I thought if I'm going to get healthy

00:52:31.130 --> 00:52:33.909
spiritually and mentally and emotionally, I probably

00:52:33.909 --> 00:52:39.489
should do it physically too. So, you know. Burden

00:52:39.489 --> 00:52:44.989
of hands worth the penny earned. I've lost 4

00:52:44.989 --> 00:52:48.090
.8 kilograms. That doesn't sound near as impressive.

00:52:48.269 --> 00:52:54.239
I'm going to say pounds. Yay! Leah, we did CultureCast

00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:56.179
last night. We taped it, and it's going to come

00:52:56.179 --> 00:52:57.960
out in a couple weeks. So, if you don't follow

00:52:57.960 --> 00:53:00.079
that yet, then follow her. That way that you're

00:53:00.079 --> 00:53:02.900
aware of our episode. Because it was awesome.

00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:05.119
And we could have talked for, like, another four

00:53:05.119 --> 00:53:07.099
or five hours. Because we were just getting warmed

00:53:07.099 --> 00:53:08.380
up. And she was like, well, it was good to see

00:53:08.380 --> 00:53:13.440
us. Like, are we done? I was still going. I was

00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:16.429
still talking. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding,

00:53:16.510 --> 00:53:19.469
Leah Hill. She is so much fun. We've never met

00:53:19.469 --> 00:53:20.849
in real life. I don't even know if she's got

00:53:20.849 --> 00:53:23.369
legs. I've only seen her from up here. But she's

00:53:23.369 --> 00:53:25.949
a pretty thing. I probably tried to feed her

00:53:25.949 --> 00:53:27.389
cheese or lard when she got here, though, because

00:53:27.389 --> 00:53:29.969
she's a little skinny. It's just what we do in

00:53:29.969 --> 00:53:31.409
the South. That's how we say we love you. We

00:53:31.409 --> 00:53:35.030
feed you. It might be hormonal. It might be cougar

00:53:35.030 --> 00:53:36.510
puberty. It might be the fact that some little

00:53:36.510 --> 00:53:38.949
trolloping, toe -timing, divorced her husband

00:53:38.949 --> 00:53:41.130
is here on H1B, even though she's from Egypt,

00:53:41.190 --> 00:53:42.969
keeps sending naked pictures to my husband on

00:53:42.969 --> 00:53:45.420
Instagram. I just don't want him looking at that,

00:53:45.539 --> 00:53:46.760
and I figure one of them might as well look at

00:53:46.760 --> 00:53:48.940
what he's got. And I look better than that, because

00:53:48.940 --> 00:53:50.239
I tell you, when that woman dies, she's gonna

00:53:50.239 --> 00:53:51.719
be nothing but lips and tits sticking out of

00:53:51.719 --> 00:53:53.380
the dirt. She's made of plastic. She's like a

00:53:53.380 --> 00:53:55.920
Lego. Wish I could remember her real name. I'd

00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:00.079
tag her in the video. I'll see her at the gym.

00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:02.940
Saw her the other day at the gym, and she got

00:54:02.940 --> 00:54:08.440
real scared. And I was like, yeah, run. Why can't

00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:10.320
I run into his ex -wife? I always run into people

00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:14.030
that mess with me. These hands are buy one, get

00:54:14.030 --> 00:54:21.130
one. Uber beats. Hi, Amanda. Chris's wife has

00:54:21.130 --> 00:54:22.730
lost 70 pounds. Good Lord, that's two of the

00:54:22.730 --> 00:54:28.369
three Dixie chicks. Sarah, you're trying to do

00:54:28.369 --> 00:54:34.010
better. Okay. So I have to go to the thrift store

00:54:34.010 --> 00:54:35.510
and get new clothes. You're gonna buy another

00:54:35.510 --> 00:54:37.980
10 pounds. I figure at 20 pounds, I'll reward

00:54:37.980 --> 00:54:40.320
myself with a little good wheel trip, and I'll

00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:41.840
get two or three dresses that we can wear on

00:54:41.840 --> 00:54:45.780
stage and jack up and sew and add shit to. I'm

00:54:45.780 --> 00:54:47.739
on stage too much to wear the same stuff twice,

00:54:47.940 --> 00:54:50.659
or unless I really love it, because every now

00:54:50.659 --> 00:54:51.880
and again, I'll love an outfit enough that can

00:54:51.880 --> 00:54:53.860
justify the price by how many times I wear it.

00:54:54.039 --> 00:54:55.860
Like, if it's like a $60 dress, then I'll wear

00:54:55.860 --> 00:54:58.360
it like, if I wear it 10 times, it's $6 a wear,

00:54:58.460 --> 00:54:59.699
and that's really not that bad. You know, like,

00:54:59.780 --> 00:55:03.739
you have to, like, it's girl math. It's very

00:55:03.739 --> 00:55:07.289
much like chicken math. You know, it costs the

00:55:07.289 --> 00:55:09.349
same to feed six chickens as it does to feed

00:55:09.349 --> 00:55:10.909
ten chickens, so you might as well get twenty.

00:55:16.170 --> 00:55:19.050
Still not able to name. Her who shall not be

00:55:19.050 --> 00:55:23.650
named? All I can say is we just hate that she's

00:55:23.650 --> 00:55:26.429
from Texas. And that's what she said about W.

00:55:26.889 --> 00:55:29.730
That's like, shut up. If you're in another country,

00:55:29.849 --> 00:55:36.869
smile and play nice. The Lord said, love your

00:55:36.869 --> 00:55:38.349
neighbor. He didn't say nothing about liking

00:55:38.349 --> 00:55:46.110
them. Read. Amanda's lost 135 pounds. Well, you

00:55:46.110 --> 00:55:50.369
win. You lost all the Backstreet Boys. Congratulations.

00:55:50.489 --> 00:55:53.809
Quit playing games with my heart. This spider

00:55:53.809 --> 00:55:56.210
is just, oh, you got you something to eat. Well,

00:55:56.250 --> 00:56:01.570
good job, Charlotte. She's wrapping him up like

00:56:01.570 --> 00:56:07.079
a present. So. Courtney started at 229 at 145.

00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:09.659
Listen, that's what we're doing. That's what

00:56:09.659 --> 00:56:13.840
we're doing. We're all holding each other accountable.

00:56:14.099 --> 00:56:16.500
We're reading our Bibles. We're praying. We're

00:56:16.500 --> 00:56:18.579
giving up the white flour and sugar. We're trying

00:56:18.579 --> 00:56:20.219
to walk around the neighborhood at least 20 minutes

00:56:20.219 --> 00:56:22.260
after supper. Let's go play pickleball with them

00:56:22.260 --> 00:56:29.699
youngins down there at the park. Why not? I find

00:56:29.699 --> 00:56:34.579
that if you have somebody to answer to... usually

00:56:34.579 --> 00:56:36.679
a little more accountable. And if you don't feel

00:56:36.679 --> 00:56:38.260
like you need to answer to anybody, then make

00:56:38.260 --> 00:56:40.099
a friend and have a little battle buddy and be

00:56:40.099 --> 00:56:43.119
like, hey, come knock this cookie dough out of

00:56:43.119 --> 00:56:45.019
my hand because I'm eating it raw, right out

00:56:45.019 --> 00:56:49.219
of the wrapper, right over the sink. That's what

00:56:49.219 --> 00:56:57.159
we're here for. Parker, that's Fetty. It's always

00:56:57.159 --> 00:56:58.820
me. I'll either pray for you or I'll pray that

00:56:58.820 --> 00:57:03.510
you find a good dentist. Like I told y 'all,

00:57:03.630 --> 00:57:05.949
I'll lay hands on you in prayer or in self -defense.

00:57:06.130 --> 00:57:08.630
It's really up to your attitude. I will have

00:57:08.630 --> 00:57:13.329
it come to Jesus either way. Vicki, we're glad

00:57:13.329 --> 00:57:14.869
that you stopped by the porch. Wish you could

00:57:14.869 --> 00:57:22.230
stay longer. Here's your hat. What are you yoking

00:57:22.230 --> 00:57:30.059
about, Brian Wayne Perry? So my goal is to get

00:57:30.059 --> 00:57:31.579
down to my fighting weight that I was when I

00:57:31.579 --> 00:57:36.920
graduated high school. But I can guarantee you

00:57:36.920 --> 00:57:40.039
that these will still be here. They're just getting

00:57:40.039 --> 00:57:42.760
flatter. It's like my hair on a hot day. I'm

00:57:42.760 --> 00:57:46.699
like, perk up, girls. We got things to do. They

00:57:46.699 --> 00:57:47.880
used to be right up in my face, couldn't even

00:57:47.880 --> 00:57:49.519
lay on my back without suffocating. And now I'm

00:57:49.519 --> 00:57:51.280
like, well, get out from under there. We got

00:57:51.280 --> 00:57:58.480
to quit. We should have a night where we say

00:57:58.480 --> 00:58:00.159
how much we've all lost. What if we had, like,

00:58:00.159 --> 00:58:02.400
a combined, like, we're gonna try to lose a thousand

00:58:02.400 --> 00:58:11.460
pounds on the porch? Wouldn't that be fun? Cynthia

00:58:11.460 --> 00:58:14.619
and I are just quoting my own songs to me. I

00:58:14.619 --> 00:58:16.099
know what you're doing. I know what you're doing,

00:58:16.199 --> 00:58:23.139
though. I just love you. Julie, I think you're

00:58:23.139 --> 00:58:25.260
going the wrong way. We're trying to go the other

00:58:25.260 --> 00:58:28.139
way. It's like that time in the office and they

00:58:28.139 --> 00:58:29.420
all got on the scale and they're like, oh, you

00:58:29.420 --> 00:58:31.760
didn't lose none. You gained six pounds. They're

00:58:31.760 --> 00:58:34.619
like, what? Kelly and I are the only ones that

00:58:34.619 --> 00:58:36.159
have passed out or nearly passed out from this

00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:44.019
time. Angela, it's all about portion control.

00:58:44.159 --> 00:58:47.260
You're right. Push -ups. Lord. Are you talking

00:58:47.260 --> 00:58:50.659
about brawls or exercises? Because no. On both.

00:58:51.599 --> 00:58:53.699
This is a push -up brawl. This is as pushed up

00:58:53.699 --> 00:58:56.630
as they get. If I go any higher, it's gonna hurt

00:58:56.630 --> 00:59:03.309
my ribcage and I'm gonna feel great. What were

00:59:03.309 --> 00:59:11.809
you fighting? The temptations. The devil. I wasn't

00:59:11.809 --> 00:59:13.570
fighting. I just usually had to be back up for

00:59:13.570 --> 00:59:15.309
my friends who drank underage and then I had

00:59:15.309 --> 00:59:17.610
to go pick them up at disreputable bars in Richmond,

00:59:17.710 --> 00:59:19.429
Kentucky and then I'd be like, please don't make

00:59:19.429 --> 00:59:21.869
me fight her. I know I got 100 pounds on them,

00:59:21.909 --> 00:59:23.929
but please don't make me fight her. I'm tall.

00:59:24.569 --> 00:59:27.809
And I don't take no shit. Don't start no shit

00:59:27.809 --> 00:59:33.090
or be no shit. Rule number one. Do you just show

00:59:33.090 --> 00:59:35.489
up at a pickleball court? I don't ask nobody

00:59:35.489 --> 00:59:37.409
nothing. I mean, I just showed up and was like,

00:59:37.510 --> 00:59:41.449
children, disperse. The queen is here. Move.

00:59:42.369 --> 00:59:44.269
So they scooted over a court and let us have

00:59:44.269 --> 00:59:46.070
one. And it was nice because I whooped my husband's

00:59:46.070 --> 00:59:47.829
ass three out of four times. Turns out I have

00:59:47.829 --> 00:59:49.190
really good hand -eye coordination. Who would

00:59:49.190 --> 00:59:50.409
have thought with me playing guitar and singing

00:59:50.409 --> 00:59:54.699
at the same time? You will have armpit boobs.

00:59:54.800 --> 00:59:56.079
We're not going to talk about the tan line that

00:59:56.079 --> 00:59:57.139
is forming right now. I'm going to have to get

00:59:57.139 --> 00:59:59.099
in a stand -up bed tomorrow and just act like

00:59:59.099 --> 01:00:01.719
I'm at the YMCA for like 12 minutes and get rid

01:00:01.719 --> 01:00:03.539
of these and the ones under my rear end that

01:00:03.539 --> 01:00:05.599
actually look like a copper -toned baby. And

01:00:05.599 --> 01:00:07.159
to be honest, I'm kind of fat, so I'm pretty

01:00:07.159 --> 01:00:09.099
sure that there's some zebra stripes back here

01:00:09.099 --> 01:00:11.199
on the back, too. I don't know. That's why I

01:00:11.199 --> 01:00:12.599
don't have a tramp stamp. Can't see it. If I

01:00:12.599 --> 01:00:16.280
can't see it, I don't want that tattoo. What

01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:17.460
if they put something stupid back there like

01:00:17.460 --> 01:00:19.820
dolphins kissing over a rainbow or something?

01:00:20.059 --> 01:00:24.329
You know? I want that. Anyway, my start date

01:00:24.329 --> 01:00:26.329
was July 4th, because that was 40 days to my

01:00:26.329 --> 01:00:28.949
43rd birthday, which is, coincidentally, in 28

01:00:28.949 --> 01:00:30.809
days, that's all the shopping days you have left,

01:00:30.909 --> 01:00:34.530
so. The next thing is to lose 60 to get her hip

01:00:34.530 --> 01:00:36.250
fixed. I'm guaranteeing if you lose 60, you'll

01:00:36.250 --> 01:00:37.789
probably be better off than when you started.

01:00:39.710 --> 01:00:45.849
See? We all have a goal. But, Brand, this is

01:00:45.849 --> 01:00:50.469
Kashyyyk. without having the big lunch lady straps,

01:00:50.550 --> 01:00:52.070
but it holds them up and it keeps the back fat

01:00:52.070 --> 01:00:54.349
off. I got it at Lane Bryant. They usually run

01:00:54.349 --> 01:00:56.449
about 60, 70 bucks, but if you catch a doorbuster

01:00:56.449 --> 01:01:00.889
on a holiday, you can get it for like 35. I can't

01:01:00.889 --> 01:01:03.170
do them Coles brand. I can't do Victoria's Secret

01:01:03.170 --> 01:01:06.590
because they ain't got nothing that big. Maybe

01:01:06.590 --> 01:01:07.969
I can buy two of them and sew them together.

01:01:09.650 --> 01:01:12.429
I don't know. But I like Kashyyyk. I used to

01:01:12.429 --> 01:01:14.150
like Fredericks of Hollywood until they went

01:01:14.150 --> 01:01:18.050
belly up. But they had to go bestie girls because

01:01:18.050 --> 01:01:20.289
those were mostly used in pornographic film.

01:01:22.590 --> 01:01:25.750
We should do a workout together. I walk. I walk

01:01:25.750 --> 01:01:27.369
around my neighborhood as hard as I can for about

01:01:27.369 --> 01:01:29.150
40 minutes. Sometimes it's a mile and a half.

01:01:29.190 --> 01:01:31.070
Sometimes it's three miles. Depends on what playlist

01:01:31.070 --> 01:01:33.050
I'm on and how high that hill is by the time

01:01:33.050 --> 01:01:35.630
that I get there and how hot it is. And then

01:01:35.630 --> 01:01:37.670
I'll lift some feed, and if I ain't done near

01:01:37.670 --> 01:01:39.590
enough of that stuff, then I'll do some step

01:01:39.590 --> 01:01:40.989
-ups here on the porch, and if I ain't done near

01:01:40.989 --> 01:01:42.730
enough of that stuff, I'll go out there and work

01:01:42.730 --> 01:01:44.289
with the chickens for a while and pull weeds,

01:01:44.469 --> 01:01:45.750
and that gets you bending over and stretching

01:01:45.750 --> 01:01:47.530
and doing whatnot. But I'll tell you what's in

01:01:47.530 --> 01:01:49.110
my TikTok cart right now. I don't know whether

01:01:49.110 --> 01:01:52.829
or not I should purchase it. That arm thing that

01:01:52.829 --> 01:01:54.769
gets rid of the bingo wings that goes round and

01:01:54.769 --> 01:01:55.929
round and round and round and round and round.

01:01:56.319 --> 01:01:58.300
I wonder if I should get that, because it's on

01:01:58.300 --> 01:02:01.000
a flash deal right now for like $20. But also,

01:02:01.099 --> 01:02:02.280
I'm wondering if I should get them resistance

01:02:02.280 --> 01:02:04.420
bands and do them lay -down crunches like them

01:02:04.420 --> 01:02:06.559
women's doing in bed. I'm like, I could do a

01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:07.820
lot more exercise if I didn't have to get out

01:02:07.820 --> 01:02:16.800
of bed, I'm sure. You'd think. Anyway. My husband's

01:02:16.800 --> 01:02:20.739
laughing in the living room. Well, good deal,

01:02:20.760 --> 01:02:30.800
Amanda. That's me, Denise. I'm a double D. I

01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:33.860
was an H at one point. I didn't know they made

01:02:33.860 --> 01:02:35.920
bras that big. And I was like, are you serious?

01:02:36.519 --> 01:02:38.360
I used to just wear it like a yarmulke, but that

01:02:38.360 --> 01:02:46.900
one covered my whole face. So, Pilates. I keep,

01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:49.260
every time I say that, I have to be like, are

01:02:49.260 --> 01:02:52.000
you saying pirates? No, you're saying Pilates.

01:02:52.460 --> 01:02:57.260
Pirates? Our Pilates. Our Pilates, like, this

01:02:57.260 --> 01:03:01.599
is my leg. Wall presses. The best wall press

01:03:01.599 --> 01:03:03.960
I can do is when I have to squeeze by Sean in

01:03:03.960 --> 01:03:05.900
the hallway because I got a basket full of laundry.

01:03:06.199 --> 01:03:14.059
Does that count? I think it counts. Walking Tai

01:03:14.059 --> 01:03:16.900
Chi. I do that every day when I walk out to the

01:03:16.900 --> 01:03:21.739
chicken coop because there's spider webs. And

01:03:21.739 --> 01:03:24.219
I get out there and everybody was kung fu fighting.

01:03:28.439 --> 01:03:36.239
Those chicks were fast as... What? It's my porch.

01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:41.500
You chase around a four -year -old and a six

01:03:41.500 --> 01:03:43.840
-year -old. Yes, that counts. Put your Fitbit

01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:45.340
on one of them and then you can just sit down.

01:03:52.019 --> 01:03:54.420
Oh my God. My friend Rachel used to do that.

01:03:54.460 --> 01:03:58.070
My friend in Nashville. She had to get in like

01:03:58.070 --> 01:04:00.530
20 ,000 steps a day for her trainer. And she

01:04:00.530 --> 01:04:02.289
was just like so tired when she got home from

01:04:02.289 --> 01:04:04.469
work. And she was a little bit lazy. So she put

01:04:04.469 --> 01:04:09.050
it on the dog's tail. That worked until she had

01:04:09.050 --> 01:04:11.389
70 ,000 steps one day. And the trainer was like,

01:04:11.469 --> 01:04:13.090
I don't think you're wearing this. And she was

01:04:13.090 --> 01:04:20.329
like, uh. Maybe not. Mary Ellen started Pilates

01:04:20.329 --> 01:04:23.750
at the age of 63. I want to start being a pirate

01:04:23.750 --> 01:04:27.909
at the age of 63. I think. Think I'm a commandeer

01:04:27.909 --> 01:04:33.130
ship. Start drinking rum on the rig. Yeah, that's

01:04:33.130 --> 01:04:34.909
what I'm gonna do. That's gonna be my retirement

01:04:34.909 --> 01:04:38.210
plan. I'm just gonna rob English trading vessels

01:04:38.210 --> 01:04:43.510
as they sail towards Tortuga. That's my retirement

01:04:43.510 --> 01:04:47.449
plan. Yeah, I'll have to learn how to swim a

01:04:47.449 --> 01:04:49.750
little better, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm

01:04:49.750 --> 01:04:51.849
not gonna have to walk the plank if I'm the captain.

01:04:52.090 --> 01:04:55.329
That's stupid. Alright, anyway. That's stupid.

01:04:55.530 --> 01:04:58.070
God, Sarah, go eat. I might be delirious because

01:04:58.070 --> 01:04:59.610
I ain't ate nothing because I ain't got no appetite.

01:04:59.949 --> 01:05:03.909
I got too hot. I just wanted to drink. I just

01:05:03.909 --> 01:05:10.130
wanted to drink. It's drying out. I was watching

01:05:10.130 --> 01:05:13.309
a show earlier. He said, I care about hydration.

01:05:13.590 --> 01:05:16.030
I drink eight glasses of eight ounce waters a

01:05:16.030 --> 01:05:17.329
day. He said, you don't care about hydration.

01:05:17.389 --> 01:05:19.170
You care about being thirsty. He's like, you

01:05:19.170 --> 01:05:21.369
don't give a damn about being healthy. You don't

01:05:21.369 --> 01:05:25.340
give a damn about being thirsty. Smoking your

01:05:25.340 --> 01:05:28.480
nightcap. That's what we're doing. Cruise ship

01:05:28.480 --> 01:05:34.260
takeover. Listen. I'm the captain now. I put

01:05:34.260 --> 01:05:37.719
my tear on. Just whirr, whirr. Just all through

01:05:37.719 --> 01:05:40.159
the ocean. Just tell them icebergs to get out

01:05:40.159 --> 01:05:47.039
of my way, you know. I'm just saying. Goals.

01:05:47.400 --> 01:05:52.519
You get it. Tanisha, you get it. So if anybody

01:05:52.519 --> 01:05:55.019
wants to get me anything for my birthday, which

01:05:55.019 --> 01:05:59.719
I know you do because you didn't ask. Just a

01:05:59.719 --> 01:06:08.780
joke. But if you do, just to feel a little move

01:06:08.780 --> 01:06:10.900
in your spirit to send me something for my birthday,

01:06:10.960 --> 01:06:15.639
I am saving up to get my other guitar fixed.

01:06:16.599 --> 01:06:21.440
And I'm also saving up to... finish up my backyard,

01:06:21.780 --> 01:06:24.340
get the chicken coop all squared away for fall.

01:06:24.460 --> 01:06:27.179
So, it's not like I get to enjoy the money. I

01:06:27.179 --> 01:06:28.460
just use it for more stuff that's supposed to

01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:35.440
make me money. But, anyway. So, we have decided

01:06:35.440 --> 01:06:37.300
that we're going to start working out together,

01:06:37.559 --> 01:06:39.139
and we're all going to go get baptized again.

01:06:39.460 --> 01:06:41.420
We're all going to read our Bibles. We're going

01:06:41.420 --> 01:06:43.079
to be in Colossians tomorrow night, so if you're

01:06:43.079 --> 01:06:44.480
going to be on the porch with us, go ahead and

01:06:44.480 --> 01:06:46.820
read ahead. It's only four chapters. You can

01:06:46.820 --> 01:06:50.440
read it in like 15 minutes. Just give it a little

01:06:50.440 --> 01:06:51.880
look -see when you're on the toilet or whatnot,

01:06:52.119 --> 01:06:56.900
you know? So... Could we just make a boat that's...

01:06:56.900 --> 01:06:58.699
Maybe we should just take a pontoon cruise, because

01:06:58.699 --> 01:07:00.579
that pontoon's basically a porch on the water.

01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:03.480
Like, we don't need no staterooms or nothing.

01:07:03.559 --> 01:07:06.019
We just need a great big porch. Mine is August

01:07:06.019 --> 01:07:11.280
the 13th. Yes, it is. I'll be 43. Ugh. Oh, I'm

01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:16.000
getting old. Doesn't it seem like everybody else's

01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:17.820
parents had their shit together in their 40s

01:07:17.820 --> 01:07:22.099
like Barry and me did? or do or actively am.

01:07:23.659 --> 01:07:26.559
Seems like my mom was like, only 15 more years

01:07:26.559 --> 01:07:30.719
to retirement. And I'm like, retirement? I'm

01:07:30.719 --> 01:07:32.159
feeling like Merle Haggard in Die Right in a

01:07:32.159 --> 01:07:37.460
Song. Nikki, do you need anything from the dispensary?

01:07:37.559 --> 01:07:41.460
Yeah. I would like some RSO and some high octane,

01:07:41.460 --> 01:07:44.300
probably 50 or better 80s. And, you know, if

01:07:44.300 --> 01:07:46.559
you're getting flour, I like it over smalls.

01:07:46.599 --> 01:07:49.190
I only like popcorn less than baseball. But I

01:07:49.190 --> 01:07:51.070
had smoked seeds and stems when it got real bad

01:07:51.070 --> 01:07:54.550
between paydays. My address is on my website.

01:07:54.550 --> 01:07:57.849
It's P .O. Box 428, Hurricane West, Virginia,

01:07:58.110 --> 01:08:02.210
25526. And I check it every time I breeze through

01:08:02.210 --> 01:08:05.449
town. I'll take a dispenser for your birthday.

01:08:06.030 --> 01:08:09.489
Don't you threaten me with a good time. Junia

01:08:09.489 --> 01:08:13.969
66. Don't look it. Carrie Ann, we've got to get

01:08:13.969 --> 01:08:16.770
you a Bible. Listen, Carrie Ann, just right now

01:08:16.770 --> 01:08:18.350
while you're thinking of it, shoot me a message.

01:08:18.670 --> 01:08:20.609
Like right here where it says send message. Shoot

01:08:20.609 --> 01:08:22.529
me a message. Send me your address because I

01:08:22.529 --> 01:08:24.069
need to send you a shirt and I need to send you

01:08:24.069 --> 01:08:25.590
a Bible. Let me know what kind you want, though,

01:08:25.630 --> 01:08:27.729
because I've got some donations the other day.

01:08:27.770 --> 01:08:29.789
I've got a couple of NIVs in and I've got a King

01:08:29.789 --> 01:08:31.550
James and I've got a Living Bible, which is pretty

01:08:31.550 --> 01:08:35.590
cool, and an Extreme Teen Bible. I haven't got

01:08:35.590 --> 01:08:37.609
into that yet. I did get the Illustrated Bible,

01:08:37.689 --> 01:08:38.789
and I'm telling you something. There's something

01:08:38.789 --> 01:08:40.250
about seeing the pictures along with them words

01:08:40.250 --> 01:08:43.539
that makes you remember stuff. It's like a graphic

01:08:43.539 --> 01:08:46.979
novel of the Bible, and it's fantastic. April

01:08:46.979 --> 01:08:50.060
will be 39 next week. Congratulations. Jenny

01:08:50.060 --> 01:08:54.140
needs RSO. We will post the P .O. Box. August,

01:08:54.159 --> 01:08:56.960
baby. I believed in any of that crap, but I am

01:08:56.960 --> 01:08:58.659
a die -in -the -wool Leo, apparently. I like

01:08:58.659 --> 01:09:00.680
the spotlight. I don't like to share. I want

01:09:00.680 --> 01:09:02.039
everybody to look at me and pay attention to

01:09:02.039 --> 01:09:04.119
me and tell me that I'm pretty. I don't need

01:09:04.119 --> 01:09:06.479
to be loved. It's not like an incessant need.

01:09:06.699 --> 01:09:11.100
I like to be loved. I want to be loved. But do

01:09:11.100 --> 01:09:13.710
I need to be loved? It's not like my need to

01:09:13.710 --> 01:09:20.229
be praised. My strongest love language is to

01:09:20.229 --> 01:09:23.010
be like, Sarah, you're pretty and you're doing

01:09:23.010 --> 01:09:24.369
just fine. Take a break and smoke a cigarette.

01:09:26.890 --> 01:09:30.289
My love language is Elijah. Have a stack. Have

01:09:30.289 --> 01:09:34.649
a nap. Report back. Terry Clark Parsons will

01:09:34.649 --> 01:09:41.470
be 74 next week. Congratulations. Carrie just

01:09:41.470 --> 01:09:44.869
bought her first Bible. Yes, you did. What kind

01:09:44.869 --> 01:09:47.050
did you get? Did you get King James? Did you

01:09:47.050 --> 01:09:48.890
get NIV? Did you get New King James? Did you

01:09:48.890 --> 01:09:51.310
get Christian American Standard? What's the three

01:09:51.310 --> 01:09:54.550
letters on the spine? Because that's G -O -D.

01:09:56.789 --> 01:09:59.810
Where do you find the NIV Bible? I got this one

01:09:59.810 --> 01:10:02.590
at the Goodwill. Believe it or not, it was the

01:10:02.590 --> 01:10:04.050
same one that my mother had when I was growing

01:10:04.050 --> 01:10:05.729
up, so that's why I keep it on the porch with

01:10:05.729 --> 01:10:11.890
me. Carrie Ann, I got you covered, baby. Happy

01:10:11.890 --> 01:10:16.229
belated birthday to Rita. She turned 65 a month

01:10:16.229 --> 01:10:19.609
ago today. Oh, Carol's birthday's in August.

01:10:19.930 --> 01:10:23.470
We're in Colossians tomorrow night. But I'm telling

01:10:23.470 --> 01:10:27.090
you, I have been busy. Like, I want you to look.

01:10:27.189 --> 01:10:31.229
Hang on. Let me get my, let me get my, look.

01:10:32.050 --> 01:10:35.449
I've been really busy. Like, it's like so full

01:10:35.449 --> 01:10:40.000
of, it's all pink. It's all pinked up. I highlight

01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:42.539
things so I can remember it. Like, it's just

01:10:42.539 --> 01:10:47.119
somewhere. Anyway, but tomorrow night we're in

01:10:47.119 --> 01:10:55.960
Colossians. Yes. Talking about Colossi. The itty

01:10:55.960 --> 01:11:03.979
-bitty town of town that started a church. 43

01:11:03.979 --> 01:11:05.899
this year yourself, Amanda, because we're both

01:11:05.899 --> 01:11:11.489
83 babies. My favorite. I love that. So anyway,

01:11:11.550 --> 01:11:13.130
that's the Bible I have. I got it on Amazon.

01:11:13.329 --> 01:11:16.130
It was like $25, but it has been the easiest

01:11:16.130 --> 01:11:18.630
one for me to read and actively read and not

01:11:18.630 --> 01:11:21.829
get, I don't want to say bored, discouraged.

01:11:22.289 --> 01:11:24.170
Because there's already names in there that's

01:11:24.170 --> 01:11:26.630
hard for us to pronounce. And they start in with

01:11:26.630 --> 01:11:29.090
those these, thys, thous, those, them. And I'm

01:11:29.090 --> 01:11:33.529
like, alright. So sometimes it's easier to hear

01:11:33.529 --> 01:11:37.569
it the way that you talk. I feel like there should

01:11:37.569 --> 01:11:40.399
be an Appalachian Bible. Be like, don't kill.

01:11:40.800 --> 01:11:43.859
Don't cheat on your wife or husband. Don't be

01:11:43.859 --> 01:11:47.380
jealous. Don't be worshiping nobody but God.

01:11:47.579 --> 01:11:55.460
You know what? Be nice to your mom and dad. That's

01:11:55.460 --> 01:12:00.000
it. Alright, friends. It's coming across the

01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:03.420
11 o 'clock hour, which means... The news will

01:12:03.420 --> 01:12:04.939
be coming on. We need to get our clothes laid

01:12:04.939 --> 01:12:07.199
out for school tomorrow. And not school, for

01:12:07.199 --> 01:12:12.300
work tomorrow. We're still in summertime. What

01:12:12.300 --> 01:12:14.319
highlighters are Bible page friendly? In any

01:12:14.319 --> 01:12:16.579
Bible bookstore or online, Christy, I like to

01:12:16.579 --> 01:12:20.680
get the wax highlighters. Or you can use crayon.

01:12:20.760 --> 01:12:22.520
But they have wax highlighters. You can usually

01:12:22.520 --> 01:12:23.840
find them at Walmart too, but I'll wear mine

01:12:23.840 --> 01:12:28.420
off of the Bible bookstore website. Make them

01:12:28.420 --> 01:12:30.220
a little six -pack, usually four or six -pack.

01:12:31.020 --> 01:12:33.039
And that way it doesn't bleed through the onion

01:12:33.039 --> 01:12:42.460
skin. Stephanie's 84, baby. That's an 84. Are

01:12:42.460 --> 01:12:53.840
you in 84 or you're 84? Go either way. So, that's

01:12:53.840 --> 01:12:57.800
all I know from this side of the porch. Oh, Charlotte's

01:12:57.800 --> 01:13:02.279
got her such a big meal tonight. Good job, baby

01:13:02.279 --> 01:13:05.340
girl. I'm gonna leave her be. She's attached

01:13:05.340 --> 01:13:07.560
to my chair and my cowboy hat, and she's just

01:13:07.560 --> 01:13:08.739
hanging in the balance. I'm just gonna leave

01:13:08.739 --> 01:13:14.680
her alone. So. Anyway, as always, friends, I

01:13:14.680 --> 01:13:20.500
don't claim to know all the answers. I know some

01:13:20.500 --> 01:13:22.579
things about something. I know enough to be dangerous,

01:13:22.720 --> 01:13:25.579
but I also know what I don't know, you know?

01:13:26.140 --> 01:13:29.619
So, I feel like we're gonna get there together.

01:13:30.470 --> 01:13:33.210
If you want to come along. We sit on this porch.

01:13:34.390 --> 01:13:36.869
It's my porch. It's not a set. This is my real

01:13:36.869 --> 01:13:39.550
life porch. My garden's over the hill. My chicken

01:13:39.550 --> 01:13:43.409
chapel's over there. So, you know, we sit here.

01:13:43.489 --> 01:13:46.890
We talk. We visit. We pray. We bitch. We smoke.

01:13:47.970 --> 01:13:53.689
I'm not perfect. Don't claim to be. But I do

01:13:53.689 --> 01:13:55.670
want you to see the person that is making me

01:13:55.670 --> 01:13:58.590
more like him every day. So, if you remember

01:13:58.590 --> 01:14:00.739
me, great. And I'll see you on the road, and

01:14:00.739 --> 01:14:02.079
I'll see you in the backyard, and I'll see you

01:14:02.079 --> 01:14:03.960
on the porch. If you don't, you're like, who

01:14:03.960 --> 01:14:05.899
is that girl that's talking about Jesus? That's

01:14:05.899 --> 01:14:11.300
the whole point. We're talking about Jesus. Stephanie,

01:14:11.380 --> 01:14:12.880
that's a really good point, and I'm glad you

01:14:12.880 --> 01:14:15.939
brought it up. If you have an Ollie's, Ollie's

01:14:15.939 --> 01:14:18.319
is the best place to find Bibles at a really

01:14:18.319 --> 01:14:22.079
good price. So, before you go spend 60 bucks

01:14:22.079 --> 01:14:25.140
at Books and Million or Barnes and Noble, swing

01:14:25.140 --> 01:14:27.119
on down to Ollie's. Also stop by the Goodwill,

01:14:27.180 --> 01:14:29.779
because there's a... Usually a plethora. I let

01:14:29.779 --> 01:14:32.439
my hair dry natural. Oh, I'll tell you this before

01:14:32.439 --> 01:14:35.659
I get off here. Have you seen that Eskin? Eskin?

01:14:36.180 --> 01:14:38.659
Eskin. That's what it's called. Eskin Shireheads.

01:14:38.739 --> 01:14:41.500
Have you seen them on your TikTok here lately?

01:14:41.640 --> 01:14:42.920
They're not endorsing me. They don't even know

01:14:42.920 --> 01:14:45.260
I got one. But I've been bitching because my

01:14:45.260 --> 01:14:47.619
face and my neck have been breaking out. And

01:14:47.619 --> 01:14:51.079
I'm using all the good skin stuff. And my hair

01:14:51.079 --> 01:14:56.020
was so just brittle. So, he bought me that new...

01:14:56.329 --> 01:15:02.979
Uh, askin' hand shower hit? Yup. That was like

01:15:02.979 --> 01:15:04.399
getting an electric toothbrush for the first

01:15:04.399 --> 01:15:06.600
time. I'm telling you, they send you this thing

01:15:06.600 --> 01:15:09.180
of like shower discs that are eucalyptus and

01:15:09.180 --> 01:15:11.260
mint, and it's aromatherapy. You throw them down

01:15:11.260 --> 01:15:12.720
in the shower while you're in there, and it's

01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:15.300
the water pressure's incredible, and it filters

01:15:15.300 --> 01:15:18.399
out all the bad crap. So, you know, it gets rid

01:15:18.399 --> 01:15:20.199
of the chlorine. It gets rid of the toxins. It

01:15:20.199 --> 01:15:21.600
gets rid of all this. It's basically like having

01:15:21.600 --> 01:15:23.920
a Brita filter for your shower head. But they

01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:25.439
said after two weeks, it's supposed to make my

01:15:25.439 --> 01:15:27.119
hair and my skin so much better. But I can go

01:15:27.119 --> 01:15:30.640
ahead and tell you this. If I let it dry naturally,

01:15:30.880 --> 01:15:33.180
it's normally I look like I'm coming off the

01:15:33.180 --> 01:15:36.060
mountain and carrying the stone tablets. Tonight,

01:15:36.180 --> 01:15:40.420
it's actually kind of got some control to it,

01:15:40.500 --> 01:15:41.720
and I don't know if that's just because of the

01:15:41.720 --> 01:15:45.020
shower head or what, but look into it, because

01:15:45.020 --> 01:15:47.039
apparently they're on sale right now. So there

01:15:47.039 --> 01:15:50.640
you go. But tomorrow night, we'll be here on

01:15:50.640 --> 01:15:52.739
the porch at 7 o 'clock Eastern Standard Time,

01:15:52.800 --> 01:15:56.619
and we'll be going into Colossians. It's going

01:15:56.619 --> 01:15:59.279
to be a, not a long one, but, I mean, I'm trying

01:15:59.279 --> 01:16:01.260
to be a little more thorough in my explanations,

01:16:01.359 --> 01:16:03.619
and I'm studying a lot more to get prepared for

01:16:03.619 --> 01:16:06.340
them. So, I try to share with you what I have

01:16:06.340 --> 01:16:07.840
learned, and that way that you can find them.

01:16:07.960 --> 01:16:13.380
So, but if you want to be here, 7 o 'clock, bring

01:16:13.380 --> 01:16:15.760
your Bible, bring your smokes, bring your questions,

01:16:15.840 --> 01:16:18.380
and come as you are. I'll meet you here in a

01:16:18.380 --> 01:16:22.399
second. But, in the meantime, friends. That's

01:16:22.399 --> 01:16:24.359
all I know from this side of the mountain. Keep

01:16:24.359 --> 01:16:25.819
your Bibles open, your powder dry, and your head

01:16:25.819 --> 01:16:27.479
on a swivel because people are acting crazy.

01:16:27.720 --> 01:16:29.520
Be nice to old people, animals, and children.

01:16:29.600 --> 01:16:30.680
Make sure to check in on them this week during

01:16:30.680 --> 01:16:32.000
that heat wave and that everybody's got shade

01:16:32.000 --> 01:16:35.699
and water and, you know, something cool. So,

01:16:35.739 --> 01:16:37.359
try to love your neighbor and if you can't, give

01:16:37.359 --> 01:16:38.720
it to God because He loves you and I do too.

01:16:38.800 --> 01:16:40.680
And in the meantime, I will see you tomorrow

01:16:40.680 --> 01:16:42.199
night right here on this porch with your Bible.

01:16:42.439 --> 01:16:45.000
And remember, friends, I'm Sarah Beth Terry and

01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:45.579
you're not.