WEBVTT

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Welcome to a Sunday night edition of the Cigarette

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Mom. I don't remember what I was saying. It is

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Sunday, July the 12th. Here's what is going on

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in God's world today. Oh, Lord. Supper's hot.

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Chickens have went to bed. And after what feels

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like two straight days of rain around my face,

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today feels like a chance to catch my breath.

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It's been crazy. Last week brought a lot of war

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and turmoil in my life, and this week I'm going

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to try again. I've had a sick rooster who's starting

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to see the light of day, and I have one hilariously

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tiny blue egg that got laid today. I'm going

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to have to go in there and get it in a minute.

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I was like, what is this? Apparently, it's a

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fairy egg, a .k .a. a fart egg. I heard fairy

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eggs. Never heard fart egg. That's what Google

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gave me today. I was like, all right. All right.

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In breaking news, Senator Lindsey Graham dies

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unexpectedly from a sudden and brief illness

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at the age of 71. Tributes are pouring in from

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across the political spectrum as leaders in the

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United States and a broad remember the longtime

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South Carolina senator whose seat has only been

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filled twice since 1953. This is why we need

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term limits. I hate that he passed away. I wish

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we knew who was in charge of it because I think

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it's awfully odd that he went and spoke yesterday

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at a drone factory in the Ukraine and then overnight

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that drone factory got obliterated by Russia

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and then Lindsey Graham ended up dying. Seems

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weird. Seems weird to me. Oh! Don't throw that.

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I thought you were going to toss that at me.

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So here's my fairy egg. It's little. It's blue.

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It's so bitty. It's a little fart egg. I don't

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know what to think about it. Because my Easter

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egg relies big eggs. So I'm like, either we have

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a new hen land or... I don't know. Anyway, Lindsey

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Graham has passed away. God rest his soul. It

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fits in an L8 bottle cap. That's how small this

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egg is. It fits in an L8 bottle cap. Ron's claiming

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a lot of shit right now. We'll just see what

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comes out in the wash. Here's what's getting

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me more than anything. Mitch McConnell just released

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a few hours ago a picture and a statement saying

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that he's okay. Question. I know it don't seem

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like I know a whole lot about much because the

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way I talk. But believe it or not, I have a couple

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big highfalutin degrees that proves that I kind

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of know what the hell I'm talking about. When

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is the last time that you went to any kind of

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medical procedure where they let you wear blue

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jeans and a button -up shirt in the bed? I mean,

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I go to have my temperature checked and they

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make me put on them little paper gowns. How come

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that Mitch McConnell is close to death? as he

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is, is wearing jeans and a button -up polo in

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the hospital bed. And I thought his wife was

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in China since when she come back. These are

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things that I go, mm -mm, something's not, something

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didn't, something didn't add up. Anyway. The

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Middle East tensions are high again as the U

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.S. and Iran exchange new strikes after renewed

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attacks in the Gulf. With the concerns once again

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focused on the Strait of Hormuz, gas is back

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up over $4 a gallon. Iran's claiming that they

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killed Lindsey Graham. Mitch McConnell's claiming

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that he's still alive. Trump's going, y 'all

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strike again. And Iran's like, we didn't do it.

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It wasn't us. We didn't mean to do it. And we're

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like, but you did do it. Does anybody else think

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we're poison for a war with Russia? Because that's

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what it kind of feels like. Cuba, the entire

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friggin' island country of Cuba went completely

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blackout. Lost all their power the other night.

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Just lost it. Just turn off the light. Okay.

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My baby chickens are making a lot of noise. Go

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to bed! Chirping. All night long. Markets continue

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watching developments overseas as energy prices

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react to instability in the Gulf. That's... Our

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oil prices are under pressure. I can't talk.

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I'm telling you, something's not... I can't get

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past this. It's Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell

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fiasco. I just think it's odd that the two people

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most favorable for a war situation in the Ukraine

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and with Russia are either sick or dead. I think

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that's weird. I think that the two most outspoken

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people in Washington... about Russia and their

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position with us are either on their deathbed

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or in the casket. I feel like there's a piece

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of the puzzle that we're missing there. You know,

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if we're keeping up, the Ukraine and Russia continues

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exchanging long -range strikes as the war grinds

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on. So, we'll see. England continues its impressive

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World Cup run in Wonderwall. you know the 96

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uh was it 96 might have been 95 96 hit by oasis

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has become the unofficial tournament anthem well

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all right communities worldwide continue dealing

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with extreme weather ranging from flooding to

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dangerous seats sometimes at the same time not

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going on in missouri Crews rescued hundreds of

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campers after flash flooding turned deadly. If

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you saw the TikTok videos of people being stuck

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on the roof after the owner of a campground told

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them that they were on their own. Can't wait

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to see that lawsuit. America's 250th birthday

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celebration continues bringing festivals and

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historic events to every state. So if you haven't

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contributed or attended one of the 250th anniversary

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celebrations, do it. Because chances are if you

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live like me or as old as me, you're not going

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to be around for the next one. So you might as

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well enjoy this one. In politics, attention in

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Washington has shifted towards the vacancy created

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by Senator Graham's death and ongoing foreign

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policy developments. Rumor is that Nancy Mace

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has already got her eyes on, I don't know, six

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months until that seat's available again for

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a re -election position. So we need somebody

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to sit in the seat for six months to figure out.

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Investors continue watching the oil prices more

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than anything else this weekend. And we were

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all watching it too. We were watching our money

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just disappear into the gas tank. Because I was

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like, I thought we were going to get below $2

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a gallon. This is still $4 a gallon. I'm getting

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half as much gas for the same price. I don't

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understand it. Heat remains the big story out

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west. Closer to home, much of Appalachia continues

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dealing with wet pattern after wet pattern after

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wet pattern. We just keep getting repeated rain.

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My muddy chicken run is not just in my imagination.

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Like, it is slicker than all shit out there,

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and I'm going to have to get some lime and some

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pellets. So, that's what we're doing. Porches

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are full, chargers are busy, and farmer's markets

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are at an all -time high. So, in West Virginia,

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several public swimming areas remain temporary

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closed because of water quality concerns following

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this heavy rain that we've just had. New manufacturing

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jobs continue coming to Putnam County, although

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I don't know where because I can't get anybody

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to work the Dollar General or the tractor supply.

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Let's go ahead and build another factory. School

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clothing assistance is available again for qualifying

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West Virginia families. If you need some assistance

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for school clothes, you can apply for that. Summer

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touring season in country music is still rolling

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despite the weather. County fairs, festivals,

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and little hometown stages are keeping country

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music alive and exactly where it belongs. I'm

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playing it to the people that love to hear it.

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So I'm really excited about that if you haven't

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had a chance to go out there and hear some stuff.

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Come on. In Sarah Beth Terry news, I finished

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my Bible study for this next Thursday and we're

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going to be getting into Colossians. So get excited

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about that. I wrote a new song yesterday called

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This Town Ain't That Small. One of my hands apparently

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decided to lay a little tiny egg. Me and Sean

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have been through the ringer and back this week

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and now we're better for it. Sometimes living

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until the next week is the biggest victory that

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there is, you know. I was looking at my Project

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Glow Up. If you're looking for your verse of

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the day, it's going to come from Colossians 3,

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verse 23, which says, Whatever you do, work heartily

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as for the Lord and not for men. Remember who's

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actually signing your paycheck. Whether you're

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preaching, cleaning a coop, writing songs, or

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folding laundry, it all belongs to God, so don't

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forget that. Here is your front porch debate

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question for the night. Hot dogs. Ketchup or

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mustard? Or both? Are you one of those folks

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that puts chili and slaw on everything? So how

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do you eat your hot dogs? Inquiring minds want

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to know, considering that West Virginia is the

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home of hillbilly hot dogs, and I will be visiting

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it in the next couple weeks. Did you know that

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a hen can occasionally lay a tiny fairy egg with

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little or no yolk? They're not uncommon. But

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they always make the farmer stop and say, well,

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now that's weird. Did not see that coming. On

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this day in history, In 1984, Geraldine Ferraro

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was announced as the first woman nominated for

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vice president by a major U .S. political party.

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You probably don't remember any of that, but

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that's what was going on in 1984. Why don't chickens

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like online shopping? Because they'd rather pick

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it up in person. Hot dogs with cheese. All right.

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Chili, cheese, or ketchup. My goodness. See,

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I'm one of those people that I like onions and

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chili and cheese, but I have to have mustard.

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Mustard and relish. That's my thing. You know

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what I've noticed about country people this week?

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We celebrate the little things. Rain finally

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stopping. A rooster crowing after being sick.

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A tiny little blue egg. Most folks spend their

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entire life chasing the spectacular, but country

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folks know what joy usually looks like, and it's

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usually wearing muddy boots. Let's see what else

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was going on in history on this day. Those are

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my favorites from Google. Those are always fun.

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Here's some notable events from this day throughout

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history. In 1191, during the Third Crusade, the

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city of Acre surrendered to the forces of Richard

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I and Philip II of France after a two -year siege.

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On July 12th, 1543, Henry VIII married his sixth

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and final wife, Catherine Parr, and like his

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previous wife, she outlived him and helped reconcile

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him with his children. Sometimes it's the job

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of the last wife to do things like that. I email

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on you. Okay, 1690, the Battle of the Boyne took

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place in Ireland. Protestant King William III

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defeated and deposed Catholic King James II,

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a pivotal event still commemorated in parts of

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Northern Ireland. In 1817... Author Henry David

00:11:59.830 --> 00:12:02.009
Thoreau was born in Concord, Massachusetts. His

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writings on nature, civil disobedience, and simple

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living continue to influence his readers today.

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In 1862, on this date, the U .S. Congress authorized

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the creation of the Medal of Honor for enlisted

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members of the Army during the Civil War. It

00:12:15.710 --> 00:12:18.029
later has become America's highest military decoration

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for valor. In 1933, The first minimum wage in

00:12:27.259 --> 00:12:29.100
the United States was established under the National

00:12:29.100 --> 00:12:32.000
Industrial Recovery Act, making an early federal

00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.840
effort to regulate wages during the Great Depression.

00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:42.019
In 1943, one of the largest tank battles in history,

00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:46.799
the Battle of Prokhorovka, man, that's a big

00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:49.440
word, Prokhorovka, was fought during the larger

00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:51.500
Battle of Kursk on the Eastern Front in World

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War II. In 1979, the disco backlash reached its

00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:57.039
peak during the infamous Disco Demolition Night

00:12:57.039 --> 00:12:59.039
in Chicago, where thousands of disco records

00:12:59.039 --> 00:13:01.000
were blown up between the baseball games, sparking

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a riot. On this date in 1998, France won its

00:13:06.820 --> 00:13:08.879
first men's FIFA World Cup, defeating Brazil

00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:12.120
3 -0 on Paris behind two goals from Zinedine

00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:16.980
Zidane. And in 2006, on this date, fighting erupted

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between Israel and Hezbollah after Hezbollah

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fighters crossed the border and captured two

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Israeli soldiers beginning the 34 -day Lebanon

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War. That was 20 years ago today. Born on this

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day, also, Cheryl Ladd in 1951, Christine McVeigh

00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:36.139
in 1943, Lisa Nicole Carson in 1969, and, of

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course, Bill Cosby in 1937. I know we're all

00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:41.820
marking that on our banking holidays. An Appalachian

00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:43.700
reflection for you this evening. History isn't

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just made in castles, capitol buildings, and

00:13:45.379 --> 00:13:47.399
battlefields. It's also made on front porches

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and little white churches around kitchen tables

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and in chicken coops. Somebody's ordinary Saturday

00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:55.179
and Sunday evening could be tomorrow's world

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history. So, makes you wonder about what stories

00:13:57.159 --> 00:13:59.399
folks will tell about today a hundred years from

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now. So, my mother is always calling when I'm

00:14:07.100 --> 00:14:13.460
on the phone. So, you know, things that I go,

00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:18.919
should we probably talk about this later? Just

00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:32.379
things that we're thinking about. Let's see what

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else we got. Can I type today? I can't today.

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Everything is just everywhere. My thumbs aren't

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working right. I know, darling. That's her job.

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But I did tell her I was going to be live. And

00:14:53.169 --> 00:14:55.389
she always waits until I'm, like, alive. And

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then she's like, do you want me to call now?

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I'm like, no. I love you. But I said, don't call

00:14:59.649 --> 00:15:05.909
me in the next area because I'll be live. So,

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anyway. I just can't get over the Mitch McConnell

00:15:14.429 --> 00:15:17.769
thing. I mean, he says he's recovering from revealing

00:15:17.769 --> 00:15:19.870
that he was briefly unconscious and treated for

00:15:19.870 --> 00:15:22.289
pneumonia and has a post -polio condition, which

00:15:22.289 --> 00:15:24.830
it's 2026. I didn't know that was a thing. But

00:15:24.830 --> 00:15:26.549
I'm looking at it going, I just don't get the

00:15:26.549 --> 00:15:30.509
whole, I don't get the whole wearing jeans and

00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:32.629
a button -up shirt in a hospital bed. That just,

00:15:32.669 --> 00:15:36.809
it seems weird. Hi, Joyce. Welcome to the porch.

00:15:37.409 --> 00:15:39.330
This is what we do. We just sit on the porch

00:15:39.330 --> 00:15:46.600
and talk about the events of the day. So, 40

00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:48.500
million Americans under a heat advisory. The

00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:49.860
rest of them are trying to figure out what happened

00:15:49.860 --> 00:15:51.299
to Lindsey Graham. The rest of them don't know

00:15:51.299 --> 00:15:53.620
if Mitch McConnell was AI and why his wife is

00:15:53.620 --> 00:15:55.259
in the picture with him when she obviously took

00:15:55.259 --> 00:15:58.460
off to China. You know, things like that. A deadly

00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:03.200
fire in Bangkok. There was a Bangkok pub fire

00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:05.379
that killed dozens, prompting investigations

00:16:05.379 --> 00:16:07.860
into safety violations. Things that you don't

00:16:07.860 --> 00:16:13.360
hear every day. Two people were... Shot and killed

00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:17.019
and several injured at Toronto's Salsa on St.

00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:19.480
Clair Festival today. Because people are crazy

00:16:19.480 --> 00:16:22.360
and I can't deal with it. Okay, archaeologists

00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:24.500
have discovered a 3 ,000 -year -old tomb near

00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:28.320
Luxor, Egypt. That's news. Put it back. Put it

00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:31.720
back. Whatever you dug up, put it back. We all

00:16:31.720 --> 00:16:34.379
saw the mummy. Put it back. We saw Raiders of

00:16:34.379 --> 00:16:36.519
the Lost Ark. Put it back. Just put it back.

00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:38.240
Just put it back. We found it. Whatever it was,

00:16:38.259 --> 00:16:40.539
put it back. The Keystone Pipeline operator agrees

00:16:40.539 --> 00:16:44.399
to pay $27 million over the 2022 Kansas oil spill.

00:16:45.259 --> 00:16:51.600
$27 million. That's a lot of grass. Michigan's

00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:54.440
cyclospora outbreak surpasses 1 ,500 cases with

00:16:54.440 --> 00:16:56.220
health officials continuing to investigate the

00:16:56.220 --> 00:16:58.500
source. And New York has tested positive for

00:16:58.500 --> 00:17:06.200
47 cases of Legionnaire's disease so far. What's

00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:12.150
going on? China prepares to release new economic

00:17:12.150 --> 00:17:14.269
data as global markets look for clues about worldwide

00:17:14.269 --> 00:17:17.069
growth. And the European Union weighs stronger

00:17:17.069 --> 00:17:19.089
consumer protection powers against major technology

00:17:19.089 --> 00:17:23.210
companies. The FIFA World Cup reaches the semifinal

00:17:23.210 --> 00:17:25.109
stage with England preparing to face Argentina

00:17:25.109 --> 00:17:30.559
and France set to meet Spain. Questions continue

00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:32.759
over future U .S. sanctions legislation championed

00:17:32.759 --> 00:17:34.599
by Lindsey Graham following his death. Wondering

00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:36.160
if the SAVE Act is going to go through altogether

00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.420
considering that that was what we were all wanting

00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:40.380
to happen and no one's really interested in it.

00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:43.140
Do you not care about America? Just say it now.

00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:45.779
Because there's plenty of countries that we would

00:17:45.779 --> 00:17:47.599
love to send you to if you don't want to be here.

00:17:50.759 --> 00:17:52.799
I don't understand that. I don't understand about

00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:58.279
everybody bitching about do something. Quit bitching

00:17:58.279 --> 00:18:00.769
and start a revolution. But I refuse to be mad

00:18:00.769 --> 00:18:03.109
at the stewardess and the pilot about the plane

00:18:03.109 --> 00:18:04.970
that I'm on when I know who runs the airline.

00:18:06.309 --> 00:18:08.950
I'm just trying to get to Chicago and back. But

00:18:08.950 --> 00:18:12.569
you wanting the plane to crash because you don't

00:18:12.569 --> 00:18:14.549
like the pilot is the dumbest thing I've ever

00:18:14.549 --> 00:18:17.650
heard in my entire life. If you're not part of

00:18:17.650 --> 00:18:19.589
the solution, then you're part of the problem.

00:18:21.650 --> 00:18:24.089
I don't know how else to explain that. Questions

00:18:24.089 --> 00:18:27.289
continue over the UK -India Free Trade Agreement

00:18:27.289 --> 00:18:30.799
officially taking effect. It's marking a significant

00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:34.160
post -Brexit economic milestone, and everybody's

00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:36.440
like, what's going on now? What are y 'all doing?

00:18:36.579 --> 00:18:38.980
What's going on with UK and India? Anyway, it's

00:18:38.980 --> 00:18:41.319
fine. Summer travel remains strong despite higher

00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:43.259
fuel prices and international tensions. Well,

00:18:43.299 --> 00:18:44.700
we're not traveling over there. We're just traveling

00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:46.220
down the road. We still need gas to get there.

00:18:49.259 --> 00:18:51.380
The Putnam County Fair kicked off this past week,

00:18:51.400 --> 00:18:54.140
and it goes till next weekend, so if you want

00:18:54.140 --> 00:18:56.180
to really see some fine entertainment, you don't

00:18:56.180 --> 00:18:58.450
even have to... Get that barn to the gate. Just

00:18:58.450 --> 00:19:00.430
buy your ticket and a corndog and stand back

00:19:00.430 --> 00:19:05.509
and watch. It should be fun. That's what I know.

00:19:06.970 --> 00:19:08.910
I think the big thing that we're all trying to

00:19:08.910 --> 00:19:11.990
take away from today is going, um, what's going

00:19:11.990 --> 00:19:16.369
on? Why doesn't... No one seems to know what's

00:19:16.369 --> 00:19:19.329
happening in the world. We're just being fed

00:19:19.329 --> 00:19:22.529
the bullshit that they give us. in slow tiny

00:19:22.529 --> 00:19:24.269
increments and they're like is that what it says

00:19:24.269 --> 00:19:26.470
is that what this is that what it actually says

00:19:26.470 --> 00:19:29.569
so is that what's going on in the world or is

00:19:29.569 --> 00:19:30.750
that what just what they're telling us is going

00:19:30.750 --> 00:19:38.049
on in the world so just in case you wanted to

00:19:38.049 --> 00:19:39.990
know studies have shown that good sleep is more

00:19:39.990 --> 00:19:42.390
important for longevity rather than diet exercise

00:19:42.390 --> 00:19:45.289
and social ties so if you're getting good sleep

00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:46.490
then don't worry about the rest of it if you're

00:19:46.490 --> 00:19:49.210
not then you know but sleep is better for you

00:19:49.210 --> 00:19:51.410
than you think so I know you all say, I sleep

00:19:51.410 --> 00:19:55.650
when I'm dead. Well, you might have to. Nancy

00:19:55.650 --> 00:19:57.509
Mason is considering running for Graham's Senate

00:19:57.509 --> 00:20:01.029
seat. I don't know how I feel about all of it,

00:20:01.049 --> 00:20:03.069
but we're going to see what happens. FBI Director

00:20:03.069 --> 00:20:04.750
Kash Patel says that the Bureau is assisting

00:20:04.750 --> 00:20:06.690
local police in the investigation into Senator

00:20:06.690 --> 00:20:08.349
Graham's death. Usually, if the FBI is involved,

00:20:08.490 --> 00:20:10.390
that means that there's some foul play. Senator

00:20:10.390 --> 00:20:12.930
Mike Lee calls for Senate GOP to pass the Save

00:20:12.930 --> 00:20:17.569
America Act in honor of Senator Graham. Only

00:20:17.569 --> 00:20:20.200
two men have occupied that seat. And since the

00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:21.960
50s. So, you know, that's what we were talking

00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:24.579
about earlier about term limits. Millions of

00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:26.299
eye drops are being recalled nationwide due to

00:20:26.299 --> 00:20:29.200
a potential foreign substance. They haven't told

00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:31.619
us what the foreign substance is. 31 cooling

00:20:31.619 --> 00:20:33.480
towers on luxury buildings in Manhattan tested

00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:36.420
positive for Legionnaire's disease. So that's

00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:38.200
where it's coming from. A tourist was seriously

00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:40.539
injured after a bull bison tosses them eight

00:20:40.539 --> 00:20:42.700
feet into the air in Yellowstone. If you see

00:20:42.700 --> 00:20:45.059
wild animals, leave them be. U .S. military announces

00:20:45.059 --> 00:20:46.900
the Strait of Hormuz is officially open to all

00:20:46.900 --> 00:20:50.180
vessels seeking lawful transit. Lawful, lawful

00:20:50.180 --> 00:20:52.319
transit. That's the big thing that no one's keeping

00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:55.660
in mind. Trump says that Graham called him on

00:20:55.660 --> 00:20:57.279
the night he got back from the Ukraine and said,

00:20:57.319 --> 00:20:59.539
we're all set for the Save America Act. And then

00:20:59.539 --> 00:21:05.880
he died. I'm so confused as to what's happening

00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:11.140
in the world right now. Things are weird. A lot

00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:16.079
of heavy news today. So. Cook County in East

00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:18.619
Tennessee, Cook County suffers major flooding

00:21:18.619 --> 00:21:21.799
and part of the town is underwater. So that rain

00:21:21.799 --> 00:21:25.720
really hit them too. I was getting my cigarette,

00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:31.480
sorry. Just things you have to think about, you

00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:36.980
know, like it's weird. The whole situation is

00:21:36.980 --> 00:21:38.480
just weird and the more I try to make sense of

00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:43.390
it, the weirder it gets. I don't know. This is

00:21:43.390 --> 00:21:44.849
where I say just get in your Bible and trust

00:21:44.849 --> 00:21:47.609
in God because it doesn't matter what the laws

00:21:47.609 --> 00:21:49.750
of man are. It's all going to come out in a wash

00:21:49.750 --> 00:21:53.710
anyway. Dr. Phil is trending online for some

00:21:53.710 --> 00:21:55.430
reason. I haven't looked into why he's trending.

00:21:56.309 --> 00:21:58.150
I know that the U .S. agency is going to end

00:21:58.150 --> 00:22:03.450
a lot of TPS. Is that what they said? They're

00:22:03.450 --> 00:22:05.029
going to end the TPS work for me. It's for literally

00:22:05.029 --> 00:22:08.250
hundreds of thousands of people. So that's exciting

00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:11.059
to think about. A Queens adult daycare is being

00:22:11.059 --> 00:22:13.119
accused of billing Medicaid for ghost patients

00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:21.019
that were never there. So, you know, the long

00:22:21.019 --> 00:22:22.579
and short of it is, is that we're still fighting

00:22:22.579 --> 00:22:24.299
with our people over in the sandbox. We can't

00:22:24.299 --> 00:22:25.799
figure out who's killing people. We don't know

00:22:25.799 --> 00:22:27.519
why all these diseases are popping up. We can't

00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:29.980
figure out why gas is so high. It's hot half

00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:34.700
the places. It's wet half the other places. That's

00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:48.200
what we know. Oh, I didn't know who you were

00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:50.740
talking about, Mary Lynn. I was like, who are

00:22:50.740 --> 00:22:53.220
you talking about? I was just talking about me

00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:55.619
for a second. I was like, I don't know that was

00:22:55.619 --> 00:23:08.339
about me. So, that's what we're doing. If you

00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:10.259
are new to the porch, we encourage you to tell

00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:11.619
where you're watching from and you might meet

00:23:11.619 --> 00:23:13.420
a friend that's in your neck of the woods. We're

00:23:13.420 --> 00:23:19.000
pretty big on the power of the porch. If you

00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:20.599
want to meet somebody from your neck of the woods,

00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:22.559
then you all can start your own porch. We've

00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:24.259
done that in several places. We even have an

00:23:24.259 --> 00:23:26.000
Australia chapter, and a Germany chapter, and

00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:27.799
an Ireland chapter, and a Scotland chapter, and

00:23:27.799 --> 00:23:29.279
a UK chapter, and a New Zealand chapter, and

00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:32.960
a Bali chapter. That's who's reported in so far.

00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:41.140
So. All I know is just to keep your Bibles open,

00:23:41.180 --> 00:23:42.559
and your powder dry, and your head on a swivel,

00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:44.599
because now is the time to get right with Jesus.

00:23:49.630 --> 00:23:51.470
That's what I know. If you are brand new here,

00:23:51.549 --> 00:23:52.990
we encourage you to check out everything that

00:23:52.990 --> 00:23:54.730
the Sarah Beth Terry universe has to offer. We

00:23:54.730 --> 00:23:56.369
have the Pharaoh Christian podcast, the Cigarette

00:23:56.369 --> 00:23:58.450
Mom podcast. We have the Instagram pages, the

00:23:58.450 --> 00:24:00.609
YouTube pages, the Twitter pages, the TikTok

00:24:00.609 --> 00:24:03.750
pages. SarahBethTerry .com has all of those information

00:24:03.750 --> 00:24:06.130
and links. We also have new merchandise, new

00:24:06.130 --> 00:24:09.089
songs, new pictures, new shows to announce. We

00:24:09.089 --> 00:24:11.410
have a show Friday night in Hurricane, West Virginia

00:24:11.410 --> 00:24:13.750
at MRA Steakhouse. And we have a show Saturday

00:24:13.750 --> 00:24:15.829
night at Bobby G's in Huntington, West Virginia.

00:24:16.150 --> 00:24:18.250
So if you have an RSVP to either of those, get

00:24:18.250 --> 00:24:19.569
on the website and let us know. We'll save you

00:24:19.569 --> 00:24:23.390
a seat. So wherever you're watching from, say

00:24:23.390 --> 00:24:25.569
hello. Some of you might be like, I'm down the

00:24:25.569 --> 00:24:26.829
street. And you might be like, let's go to Tim

00:24:26.829 --> 00:24:29.130
Hortons and have some chocolate donut bits, whatever.

00:24:32.860 --> 00:24:34.900
Hello, Salinas in Richmond, Kentucky. Good to

00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:36.859
see you. I'm right down the road in Irvin. That's

00:24:36.859 --> 00:24:39.059
where I'm from. I don't live there now, but that's

00:24:39.059 --> 00:24:42.579
where I'm from. Virginia's in the house. Georgia's

00:24:42.579 --> 00:24:46.019
in the house. Lake Cumberland's in the house.

00:24:46.220 --> 00:24:48.220
North Jersey's in the house. Good to see you.

00:24:49.079 --> 00:24:52.180
So, you see your state or your city, just be

00:24:52.180 --> 00:24:55.099
like, hey, pop up in there. There's Virginia.

00:24:55.299 --> 00:25:01.279
Hello, Debbie. We're glad that you're here. Van

00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:04.500
Leer coming in. Hello. Van Leer. Susie, I hope

00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:06.660
to see you on August 1st at the Appalachian Artists

00:25:06.660 --> 00:25:08.819
Festival. That's going to be in Ines. Not too

00:25:08.819 --> 00:25:10.640
far from here. I will be playing at 8 o 'clock

00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:13.339
in the headline slot. So, just come on down and

00:25:13.339 --> 00:25:15.920
see us. Hello, Martha. Good to see you on the

00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:17.839
porch tonight. Hello, Vicki in Bronston, Kentucky.

00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:20.839
See? You just never know what people are going

00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:24.019
to be watching from. Vicki in Mississippi. Hello.

00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:26.940
Good to see you. Alabama. Beth's in the house

00:25:26.940 --> 00:25:33.009
from Alabama. Good to see you. Garfield, Georgia.

00:25:34.269 --> 00:25:35.849
Dalton, Georgia. See you right there. Heather

00:25:35.849 --> 00:25:38.970
and Becca, both from Georgia. Talk amongst yourselves.

00:25:39.869 --> 00:25:41.690
Bethlehem, North Carolina is in the porch tonight.

00:25:41.789 --> 00:25:47.369
Hello, Jewel. Good to see you. Waldo, Ohio. Hello,

00:25:47.410 --> 00:25:51.190
Shanna. Got a lot of people from Ohio. See? We

00:25:51.190 --> 00:25:53.250
could just start a little... North Georgia is

00:25:53.250 --> 00:25:54.369
checking in and say there's another Georgia.

00:25:54.410 --> 00:25:56.690
You know where Garfield is, Cindy? Because we

00:25:56.690 --> 00:25:57.869
got somebody watching from Garfield, Georgia.

00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:07.039
This is what we do. Susie's gonna be at 9S. Bring

00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:09.900
me some headlights. Because I'm gonna hoard as

00:26:09.900 --> 00:26:11.180
many as I can and take them back to West Virginia

00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:13.220
because we ain't got them here. And I'm on my

00:26:13.220 --> 00:26:18.900
last six pack. Lynchburg, Virginia. Hello. Good

00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:23.700
to see you. Bill's from Toledo. Good to see you.

00:26:23.900 --> 00:26:25.819
Cheryl's in the Virginia Mountains. Pamela's

00:26:25.819 --> 00:26:27.700
sitting in Kentucky. And Brenda's down in Mississippi.

00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:31.940
If you see your state, Reach out and be like,

00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:34.119
I'm also from this state. And then y 'all can

00:26:34.119 --> 00:26:37.839
make friends. April. I'm just glad you're here.

00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.799
We just had some ales from Alabama. So y 'all

00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:42.420
need to get together. North Texas. Hello, Arlie.

00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:46.339
East Bernstadt, Kentucky. Hello, Melissa. North

00:26:46.339 --> 00:26:47.740
Carolina's in the house. And I hope that you're

00:26:47.740 --> 00:26:49.619
coming to my show on August 22nd and Sapphire.

00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:50.700
And if you ever got tickets yet, they're on my

00:26:50.700 --> 00:26:53.920
website. Love to see you, Michelle. Rhonda's

00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:56.319
watching from Edmonton. Hello. Where's the Florida

00:26:56.319 --> 00:26:59.319
people for Cammie? We got a lot of people in

00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:03.819
Florida. We just got to get them on here. There

00:27:03.819 --> 00:27:05.700
we are. Cynthia and Madeline are together. There

00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:07.859
we are. North Carolina. Jennifer, there's some

00:27:07.859 --> 00:27:09.500
more Virginia in the house. There's Jennifer

00:27:09.500 --> 00:27:12.940
from Virginia. West Monroe, Louisiana. Hello,

00:27:13.079 --> 00:27:15.759
Dana. We love Louisiana. I lived in Louisiana

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:20.880
for a long time. Oklahoma, Arkansas. Hello, Martha.

00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:24.799
Hello from Telenasty, Florida. Hello, Lisa. Good

00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:28.319
to see you. I was in the house. Owensboro's in

00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:34.230
the house. Listen, I'm just gonna get a notebook.

00:27:35.190 --> 00:27:37.730
There's just too many people from too many places.

00:27:37.990 --> 00:27:47.910
I'm gonna start keeping tabs. Okay. I'm putting

00:27:47.910 --> 00:27:50.269
all this... As you say, we're your friend. I'm

00:27:50.269 --> 00:27:54.250
just gonna write a stamp. Hello, Emily. Emily

00:27:54.250 --> 00:27:58.450
is in South Carolina. Sandy is in North Carolina.

00:28:00.630 --> 00:28:07.079
Diane's in Florida. Let's see who else we got.

00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:15.920
West Virginia. Hello, Connie. Kansas. Hello,

00:28:16.059 --> 00:28:24.160
Sherry. Patricia is in Lexington. Tell you what,

00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:25.759
we're going to be in Campton on the end of the

00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:33.980
month, so come on down. Cheryl's in Lexington,

00:28:34.019 --> 00:28:40.019
Virginia. Patricia is in Arizona. Massachusetts.

00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:43.359
I don't know, Kathy. You might be so far. All

00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:46.240
right. Also in Kentucky. Let me get Diane on

00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:51.119
here. Florida. Hang on. I just saw you, Leanne.

00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:53.259
Leanne, we've also got Diane in Florida. So,

00:28:53.299 --> 00:29:02.279
see? Y 'all meet up. Leslie's in Kentucky. Tiffany's

00:29:02.279 --> 00:29:06.680
in Manor, Texas. I'm just writing down, like,

00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:08.980
names under states so we can keep track of everybody.

00:29:10.259 --> 00:29:12.740
Coria, that's a cool name, is in West Virginia.

00:29:15.180 --> 00:29:17.339
That's Coria and Connie, both in West Virginia.

00:29:18.140 --> 00:29:23.039
We got Carolyn and Inez. Hope that you'll come

00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:26.180
to our big show on the 1st. Super excited about

00:29:26.180 --> 00:29:31.059
it. Connie's in Arkansas. But you have to remember

00:29:31.059 --> 00:29:33.160
that Arkansas is A -R, not A -K, because A -K

00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:39.529
is Alaska. Florida. Hello, Teresa. We got another

00:29:39.529 --> 00:29:41.130
Florida. Let's put you in here. You're in here

00:29:41.130 --> 00:29:44.789
with Diane and Leanne on the porch. From Florida.

00:29:47.609 --> 00:29:51.170
Wisconsin. Good to see you. Brandy. Glad to have

00:29:51.170 --> 00:29:55.230
you. Janella. She's also in West Virginia. We

00:29:55.230 --> 00:29:56.529
need to get our West Virginia people together

00:29:56.529 --> 00:30:02.690
and go junk one day. Illinois. We got Leanna

00:30:02.690 --> 00:30:13.480
Sue and Nikki in Illinois. Upstate New York.

00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:15.960
Hello, Allison. Good to see you from New York

00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:20.519
on the porch tonight. Christy's in Oklahoma where

00:30:20.519 --> 00:30:23.660
the wind goes sweeping down the plane. Carrie

00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:28.019
Ann's in from Australia. Good day or good evening.

00:30:28.140 --> 00:30:31.500
I don't know what time it is over there. Jackie's

00:30:31.500 --> 00:30:38.460
also in Kentucky. My goodness. Clara's in Oklahoma.

00:30:38.660 --> 00:30:43.059
Hello, Clara. You and Christy are both watching

00:30:43.059 --> 00:30:46.720
from Oklahoma. Thank you, Brenda. We'd love to

00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:50.079
come down to Biloxi. Cindy's watching from Missouri.

00:30:50.220 --> 00:30:53.319
Y 'all doing all right after all that rain? She's

00:30:53.319 --> 00:30:58.779
asking. Darlene's in Oklahoma. That's Christy,

00:30:58.779 --> 00:31:01.640
Claire, and Darlene in Oklahoma. Donna's in Arkansas.

00:31:02.119 --> 00:31:06.519
Hello. I need to get Sean to print me out another

00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:11.109
map so we can color it again. Sarah's in West

00:31:11.109 --> 00:31:16.609
Virginia. Hello. Welcome. Pineville, Kentucky.

00:31:16.789 --> 00:31:21.029
Hello, Morgan. You can join Diane and Leslie

00:31:21.029 --> 00:31:23.430
and Carolyn and Jackie also in Kentucky. Tell

00:31:23.430 --> 00:31:28.150
you what. Cora. Sorry. Corley. I liked the way

00:31:28.150 --> 00:31:32.529
you spelled it and I pronounced it wrong. So

00:31:32.529 --> 00:31:43.059
this is how we all get together. We should start

00:31:43.059 --> 00:31:48.180
chunking days. Canada. Hello, Canada. Good to

00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:52.019
see you. Tennessee. Chrisanne, sometimes I'm

00:31:52.019 --> 00:31:54.460
in Tennessee. Are you near Camden, Tennessee,

00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:56.319
which is in Benton County? I'll be there August

00:31:56.319 --> 00:32:01.740
the 8th. Welcome to Kentucky. I wish you'd come

00:32:01.740 --> 00:32:03.980
back summer. Kentucky's awesome. Hello, Jeff

00:32:03.980 --> 00:32:06.559
and Shelby. Or Jeff, Shelby, Lincoln. Sorry,

00:32:06.660 --> 00:32:09.440
I read it too quick. Arkansas. Vicki's in Kentucky.

00:32:09.740 --> 00:32:14.200
Kansas, Ohio. Y 'all are all saying places that

00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:18.140
you could literally drive to and see one of my

00:32:18.140 --> 00:32:23.500
shows in a day trip. Okay, Carrie Ann, it is

00:32:23.500 --> 00:32:26.559
1134 a .m. on a Monday morning, so you are 14

00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:28.819
hours ahead of us. Holy crap. Don't tell us what's

00:32:28.819 --> 00:32:33.700
going to happen. We want to be surprised. Chris

00:32:33.700 --> 00:32:38.599
Ann's in West Virginia now. Coralie. I have Coralie

00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:43.400
in our family. Hello, Sarah. Good to see you.

00:32:43.420 --> 00:32:49.000
Hello, Heather. Watching from Georgia. See? The

00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:58.220
porch is so big. It's so big. So. There is 99

00:32:58.220 --> 00:33:04.400
% day at the Barbersville Goodwill. I'm so upset

00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:09.369
that I missed it, too. So, should we pick a day?

00:33:09.410 --> 00:33:11.009
Tuesday night, I'm on a podcast. And Thursday

00:33:11.009 --> 00:33:12.630
night, I'm on a podcast. And Friday night and

00:33:12.630 --> 00:33:16.609
Saturday night, I'm playing music. So, it means

00:33:16.609 --> 00:33:18.269
if we're gonna junk, we need to do it like Wednesday.

00:33:22.710 --> 00:33:25.069
Brenda, get on the website. We'll make you a

00:33:25.069 --> 00:33:29.349
VIB. Not a VIP, a VIB. We're in the hive here.

00:33:31.710 --> 00:33:33.890
Goochland, Virginia. Good to see you, Bo. Welcome.

00:33:36.809 --> 00:33:38.529
So if you're keeping up with my health journey,

00:33:38.750 --> 00:33:41.769
I was down 10 pounds. Now I'm down 8 1⁄2 pounds

00:33:41.769 --> 00:33:47.029
because I ate carbs over the weekend. And I am

00:33:47.029 --> 00:33:49.630
going hard into it again tomorrow. I'm going

00:33:49.630 --> 00:33:53.690
to go to the gym and probably the tanning bed

00:33:53.690 --> 00:33:56.730
because fat looks better tan. And I've got to

00:33:56.730 --> 00:33:58.150
even out some tan lines. I've got a show this

00:33:58.150 --> 00:34:03.369
week. So, you know, whatever. But that's what

00:34:03.369 --> 00:34:05.950
I'm working on. Thank you for listening to the

00:34:05.950 --> 00:34:08.010
podcast. Thank you for listening to that on the

00:34:08.010 --> 00:34:11.090
RSS feeds and wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:34:11.289 --> 00:34:12.789
We've got like 5 ,000 people listening to the

00:34:12.789 --> 00:34:14.550
podcast now. I'm so excited. And there's so many

00:34:14.550 --> 00:34:15.829
people on YouTube. And there's so many people

00:34:15.829 --> 00:34:19.550
on Instagram. I'm like, I just do Facebook. I

00:34:19.550 --> 00:34:22.510
have a team. And by team, I mean a husband. Who

00:34:22.510 --> 00:34:24.050
gets on there and does all the rest of that stuff.

00:34:24.110 --> 00:34:25.469
And I'm like, I didn't even know I had an Instagram.

00:34:25.650 --> 00:34:26.909
And somebody reached out to me and asked if I

00:34:26.909 --> 00:34:28.150
wanted to be on a podcast. Because they saw me

00:34:28.150 --> 00:34:29.170
on Instagram. I was like, I didn't even know

00:34:29.170 --> 00:34:33.949
I had one. But fantastic. I don't care how you

00:34:33.949 --> 00:34:36.630
find me, just find me. Let's visit. Let's be

00:34:36.630 --> 00:34:38.070
friends. Let's sit on the porch. Let's talk.

00:34:38.150 --> 00:34:39.730
Let's bitch. Let's get to know each other. Let's

00:34:39.730 --> 00:34:42.150
get to know God. Let's play some music and eat

00:34:42.150 --> 00:34:45.869
some cheese balls. Brenda's lost over 160 pounds

00:34:45.869 --> 00:34:47.909
in two years. That's like four of the five Backstreet

00:34:47.909 --> 00:34:52.889
Boys. Congratulations. Wow. Debbie's nine miles

00:34:52.889 --> 00:34:54.409
from Plains, Georgia. If you don't know where

00:34:54.409 --> 00:34:56.110
that is, look it up on a map so that you know

00:34:56.110 --> 00:34:57.690
where she is because nobody apparently knows

00:34:57.690 --> 00:35:02.920
where it's at. How do you find my podcast? Just

00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:04.639
get on whatever you listen to podcasts on and

00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:06.460
look for Sarah Beth Terry or The Cigarette Mom

00:35:06.460 --> 00:35:08.559
or Pharrell Christian. Or you can get on SarahBethTerry

00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:10.880
.com and the link is on there. It'll save you

00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:13.940
some time. Just one last step. I'm not playing

00:35:13.940 --> 00:35:15.699
in Alabama unless you get me a show down there.

00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:18.059
I don't have anything up there for me. O -H -I

00:35:18.059 --> 00:35:24.219
-O It's okay, Stephanie. If you will put me as

00:35:24.219 --> 00:35:26.019
your favorites or subscribe, it'll tell you immediately.

00:35:26.260 --> 00:35:27.679
I don't know why it's like that, but the algorithm

00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:29.420
has since updated and it tries to throw everybody

00:35:29.420 --> 00:35:31.619
off. So I'm surprised we were all here together

00:35:31.619 --> 00:35:33.940
at all. You never know what's going on in the

00:35:33.940 --> 00:35:35.400
world. I'm just glad that you're on the porch.

00:35:35.659 --> 00:35:39.179
And I'm glad I look as good as I do. I literally

00:35:39.179 --> 00:35:41.119
got out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth,

00:35:41.179 --> 00:35:43.659
threw my hair up in this makeshift whatever ponytail

00:35:43.659 --> 00:35:46.239
bun, and went to the Dollar General. That's what

00:35:46.239 --> 00:35:49.179
I did today. First place of Jimmy Carter, the

00:35:49.179 --> 00:35:56.460
great American peanut farmer. Can't talk. Brenda,

00:35:56.539 --> 00:36:05.139
God love you. So I'm trying. You had an anchor

00:36:05.139 --> 00:36:06.840
that's supposed to put a curse on the Stone family?

00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:12.500
Well, I'll tell you. But get right with Jesus

00:36:12.500 --> 00:36:18.780
or find you an Appalachian witch. I love when

00:36:18.780 --> 00:36:23.510
we all get together. Right, Wendy. It's one day

00:36:23.510 --> 00:36:25.349
at a time. Just one day at a time. And I'm not

00:36:25.349 --> 00:36:27.130
going to beat myself up for taking a day of rest.

00:36:27.190 --> 00:36:28.849
It even says in the Bible that the Lord rested.

00:36:28.989 --> 00:36:30.289
So, I mean, I'm not going to worry about it.

00:36:30.369 --> 00:36:32.329
It's like, so, I've been keeping my journal.

00:36:32.429 --> 00:36:34.489
I'm going to do it Mondays through Friday. Saturdays,

00:36:34.489 --> 00:36:36.170
I'm usually on stage. Sunday, I'm usually recovering.

00:36:36.409 --> 00:36:39.949
So, that's going to be my routine, I think. It's

00:36:39.949 --> 00:36:42.050
just give it hell from Monday through Friday.

00:36:42.130 --> 00:36:43.750
And then know that I have to go to work on Friday

00:36:43.750 --> 00:36:46.650
night and Saturday night. God love it. I'm so

00:36:46.650 --> 00:36:48.570
pleased and blessed. And thank you, Lord, for

00:36:48.570 --> 00:36:51.130
letting me do this for my job. I'd love to do

00:36:51.130 --> 00:36:54.190
it more. So book me more. But when it comes to

00:36:54.190 --> 00:37:01.110
working out at a designated fitness gymnasium,

00:37:01.210 --> 00:37:04.309
you know, I like to do Monday through Friday

00:37:04.309 --> 00:37:10.050
and keep my routine. I read that too quick, Mary

00:37:10.050 --> 00:37:11.730
Ellen. I thought you said you started Pilates

00:37:11.730 --> 00:37:13.869
63 years ago. And I was like, I don't think that

00:37:13.869 --> 00:37:17.969
Pilates has been around that long. I could be

00:37:17.969 --> 00:37:21.420
wrong. Cairns lost 11 kilograms. I don't know

00:37:21.420 --> 00:37:23.239
how much that is in American pounds. Okay, 25

00:37:23.239 --> 00:37:26.500
pounds. See? That's where we screwed up. They

00:37:26.500 --> 00:37:28.219
told America to use the metric system. We're

00:37:28.219 --> 00:37:30.320
like, we're just going to use it on bullets and

00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:32.739
two liters. That's it. That's the only time that

00:37:32.739 --> 00:37:36.880
you ever use the metric system is to buy a two

00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:41.000
liter of Mountain Dew or to buy nine millimeter

00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:43.699
ammo. The rest of the time, we're like, what

00:37:43.699 --> 00:37:47.469
is that in inches, miles, feet? We just couldn't

00:37:47.469 --> 00:37:49.130
get behind the metric system. We couldn't get

00:37:49.130 --> 00:37:50.849
behind Celsius either. We had to go Fahrenheit.

00:37:51.090 --> 00:37:52.710
We had to be a little different. Had to be a

00:37:52.710 --> 00:37:58.429
little different. I struggle with schedules too,

00:37:58.489 --> 00:38:00.550
Cynthia. And it's because I'm my own boss. And

00:38:00.550 --> 00:38:04.869
I'm real hard to work for. So, I'm like, I should

00:38:04.869 --> 00:38:07.170
get up and do stuff. And I'm like, but who's

00:38:07.170 --> 00:38:10.090
going to fire me? Like, I have that internal

00:38:10.090 --> 00:38:14.320
struggle. Robin's lost 75 pounds over the past

00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:16.960
year. My goodness, congratulations. I want to

00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:22.880
do, without telling how much I weigh, I'd like

00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:29.460
to lose about 70 pounds. Just for no reason than

00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:33.659
I want to be healthier as I get older. And I

00:38:33.659 --> 00:38:35.019
know I'm saying that with a cigarette hanging

00:38:35.019 --> 00:38:44.530
out of my mouth, but one cross at a time. I like

00:38:44.530 --> 00:38:48.429
to use all of the leaf -bearing plants that the

00:38:48.429 --> 00:38:51.730
Lord has provided. I could never make some dandelion

00:38:51.730 --> 00:38:55.750
tea after this. I don't care. Thank you, Leona

00:38:55.750 --> 00:39:00.150
Sue. Muscle is way more dense than fat. I get

00:39:00.150 --> 00:39:01.250
tickled because everybody's like, a pound of

00:39:01.250 --> 00:39:03.489
fat weighs less than a pound of muscle. They

00:39:03.489 --> 00:39:05.969
both weigh a pound, but muscle is more dense.

00:39:07.590 --> 00:39:10.849
I learned that in 8th grade science when they

00:39:10.849 --> 00:39:13.380
said, if you dropped a... 100 pounds of bowling

00:39:13.380 --> 00:39:14.940
balls or 100 pounds of feathers, which would

00:39:14.940 --> 00:39:17.159
fall first. I'm like, both, because they're both

00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:21.960
100 pounds. Doesn't affect the weight, but anyway.

00:39:24.579 --> 00:39:26.679
I'm trying to get... I still drink sweet tea,

00:39:26.699 --> 00:39:28.480
and I still drink L .A., but everything else,

00:39:28.500 --> 00:39:32.699
I've given up. I haven't had any, like, processed

00:39:32.699 --> 00:39:38.440
stuff this week. Like, I'm a big fan of, like,

00:39:38.500 --> 00:39:41.579
Little Davies. I always have him. Because there

00:39:41.579 --> 00:39:43.219
was always a box of oatmeal cream pies somewhere

00:39:43.219 --> 00:39:46.239
at Papaw South. Just don't let it ruin your supper.

00:39:46.860 --> 00:39:49.019
So now that I'm older, that's like a comfort

00:39:49.019 --> 00:39:50.420
thing to me is to know that there's going to

00:39:50.420 --> 00:39:52.079
be fudge rounds in the cookie jar or oatmeal

00:39:52.079 --> 00:39:53.460
cream pies or something like that. And now I'm

00:39:53.460 --> 00:39:55.320
like, those are protein bars and you can't eat

00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:58.639
them like candy because they're food. Like I'm

00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:00.659
trying to train my head to be like, you're hungry?

00:40:00.760 --> 00:40:02.619
Eat a piece of cheese. If you're hungry, drink

00:40:02.619 --> 00:40:03.780
a bottle of water. If you're hungry, go take

00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:06.280
a walk, Sarah. I don't want to do the whole wind

00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:10.289
shambling way down. pray the weight away. That's

00:40:10.289 --> 00:40:13.309
not going to help. But I do understand having

00:40:13.309 --> 00:40:15.150
a lot more self -control and the only way that

00:40:15.150 --> 00:40:16.949
I can have self -control is to give it to God

00:40:16.949 --> 00:40:20.150
and be like, I can't do this by myself. You're

00:40:20.150 --> 00:40:23.010
going to have to smack that cookie dough out

00:40:23.010 --> 00:40:31.130
of my hand. See, you understand. Carrie Ann gets

00:40:31.130 --> 00:40:35.440
it. I think that's part of the whole terror babble.

00:40:35.500 --> 00:40:37.000
I think that that's what they didn't tell us.

00:40:37.059 --> 00:40:38.500
They were like, y 'all are going to all speak

00:40:38.500 --> 00:40:39.840
different languages. I'm going to knock this

00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:41.480
terror down. And by the way, half of y 'all are

00:40:41.480 --> 00:40:42.820
going to use Celsius, and half of y 'all are

00:40:42.820 --> 00:40:44.239
going to use Fahrenheit, and half of y 'all are

00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:45.619
going to use metric, and half of y 'all are going

00:40:45.619 --> 00:40:47.599
to use inches and shit, and half of y 'all are

00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:49.360
going to use Androids, and half of y 'all are

00:40:49.360 --> 00:40:51.699
going to use iPhones. And we're like, they should

00:40:51.699 --> 00:40:53.860
have just started with that. That would have

00:40:53.860 --> 00:40:55.340
split everything right down the middle. We could

00:40:55.340 --> 00:40:56.920
all spoke the same language and still fought.

00:41:01.359 --> 00:41:03.000
Stephanie, I hear you on that. And that's why

00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.019
I'm trying to get a leg up on what's going on

00:41:05.019 --> 00:41:07.019
because I see the road ahead of me with my mother

00:41:07.019 --> 00:41:09.199
and my grandmother and my aunts. And I'm like,

00:41:09.260 --> 00:41:10.860
if I don't get a handle on this now, I'm either

00:41:10.860 --> 00:41:12.599
going to end up like Aunt Dorothy and be on 600

00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:14.679
-pound life or I'm going to end up like Aunt

00:41:14.679 --> 00:41:16.840
Beth and stroke out before I'm 55 because her

00:41:16.840 --> 00:41:19.099
life is absolutely crazy. And so I'm looking

00:41:19.099 --> 00:41:26.579
at it going... Doing the best I can. Doing it

00:41:26.579 --> 00:41:34.159
the best I can. What was that off of? 70 pounds,

00:41:34.219 --> 00:41:36.099
I won't be a stick. I promise you, I still have

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:39.059
these big, giant bowling balls attached to myself.

00:41:40.059 --> 00:41:42.500
I've had these things since I was 15 years old.

00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:44.840
I watered them every day so they would grow.

00:41:45.019 --> 00:41:46.619
And I cried and cried and cried because my friends

00:41:46.619 --> 00:41:48.199
had titties and I didn't. And one day they went,

00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:51.579
and I was like, well. And then I cried because

00:41:51.579 --> 00:41:53.139
my back hurt. My dad said, nope, nope, nope,

00:41:53.139 --> 00:41:55.880
nope, nope. Nope, nope, nope. He prayed for those.

00:41:58.619 --> 00:42:01.690
And he was right. I did. I didn't even realize

00:42:01.690 --> 00:42:03.710
I got boobs until I got to homeroom my junior

00:42:03.710 --> 00:42:05.309
year and Brent Thompson just kept staring at

00:42:05.309 --> 00:42:07.269
me. And I was like, why are you looking at me

00:42:07.269 --> 00:42:11.349
like that? He's like... Brent Thompson, who had

00:42:11.349 --> 00:42:13.230
sat beside me every single day since fifth grade

00:42:13.230 --> 00:42:14.769
singing Beer and Bones by John Michael Montgomery

00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:16.809
way off key in Charlie Bird's math class. That

00:42:16.809 --> 00:42:18.650
same Brent Thompson's looking at me in ninth,

00:42:18.730 --> 00:42:23.949
tenth, eleventh grade going... I'm like, what?

00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:30.090
I'm not happy about him either. Shut up. And

00:42:30.090 --> 00:42:32.230
then I used them to my advantage for a good part

00:42:32.230 --> 00:42:34.590
of my 20s, and I never had to pay for one drink.

00:42:37.510 --> 00:42:39.690
And then I used them to my advantage in my 30s,

00:42:39.690 --> 00:42:41.849
and ended up getting a divorce and writing a

00:42:41.849 --> 00:42:44.070
lot of albums about it. So I don't use them for

00:42:44.070 --> 00:42:47.269
evil anymore. I just keep them under wraps. The

00:42:47.269 --> 00:42:49.150
only person allowed to see these is Sean Courtney.

00:42:49.969 --> 00:42:53.510
Period. And even then, he's like, okay, that's

00:42:53.510 --> 00:43:06.280
enough. Roll them back up. 415 days sober. Hats

00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.059
off and mazel tov to you, Shannon. That's hard.

00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:14.900
It is hard. We quit drinking January 1st, 2025.

00:43:15.599 --> 00:43:18.019
That's when we gave up liquor. Now, when I say

00:43:18.019 --> 00:43:19.920
gave up liquor, every now and again, somebody

00:43:19.920 --> 00:43:21.539
will be like, here's a glass of champagne because

00:43:21.539 --> 00:43:23.320
I just won a Grammy. And we'll be like, cheers.

00:43:26.739 --> 00:43:28.559
Or somebody will say, try this moonshine. And

00:43:28.559 --> 00:43:32.139
I'll be like, okay. I just can't do it anymore.

00:43:32.969 --> 00:43:34.829
Smelling NyQuil, I'm like, I'm gonna get a buzz.

00:43:35.090 --> 00:43:38.670
Now, however, my marijuana intake has probably

00:43:38.670 --> 00:43:43.030
went tri -fold. I like to say I'm high in functioning.

00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:54.489
I'm high and dry. There we go. I asked Sean this

00:43:54.489 --> 00:43:57.710
night what his favorite body part of mine was.

00:43:57.809 --> 00:43:59.190
And he's like, I don't think I have a favorite.

00:43:59.369 --> 00:44:02.070
And I was like, oh, that's a good answer. Because

00:44:02.070 --> 00:44:03.489
I never have asked him in the three years that

00:44:03.489 --> 00:44:04.690
we've been together. I'm like, are you a legs

00:44:04.690 --> 00:44:06.130
man? Are you an ass man? Are you a tits man?

00:44:06.170 --> 00:44:07.989
Because I got all of it. Don't worry about it.

00:44:08.030 --> 00:44:09.710
I'm the whole package. But I just want to know

00:44:09.710 --> 00:44:13.269
what to work on in the gym. Like, if he's like,

00:44:13.309 --> 00:44:14.670
I really like your rear end, I'll be like, well,

00:44:14.710 --> 00:44:15.809
then I'm going to get on that Stairmaster. But

00:44:15.809 --> 00:44:17.150
if he's like, I like them boobs, I'm going to

00:44:17.150 --> 00:44:19.510
get on that lateral pull down. Get them popped

00:44:19.510 --> 00:44:22.929
back up. You know, you got to keep marriage alive.

00:44:23.449 --> 00:44:25.369
Let's get some blowjobs. Anyway, so continue.

00:44:26.210 --> 00:44:29.690
Hello, Jessica. Hello, Terry Clark Parsons. Good

00:44:29.690 --> 00:44:35.500
to see you. My friend Erica's getting married

00:44:35.500 --> 00:44:40.000
for the first time at 43 years old. Very over

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.059
-the -moon ecstatic for her. She's found a perfect

00:44:42.059 --> 00:44:44.539
guy. They just are like peas and carrots. They're

00:44:44.539 --> 00:44:45.780
like me and Sean. They're absolutely wonderful

00:44:45.780 --> 00:44:49.360
together. When they first got engaged, they asked

00:44:49.360 --> 00:44:51.659
me, they said, what's your advice for a marriage?

00:44:51.739 --> 00:44:53.280
Like, what keeps a marriage going? And I said,

00:44:53.300 --> 00:44:54.820
well, obviously, I know since I'm on the second

00:44:54.820 --> 00:44:57.900
one. But I would say that just in interviewing

00:44:57.900 --> 00:45:02.519
the general public, biscuits and blowjobs. It

00:45:02.519 --> 00:45:05.619
keeps a marriage alive. you master biscuits and

00:45:05.619 --> 00:45:06.980
blowjobs, you don't even have to shave above

00:45:06.980 --> 00:45:08.739
the knee. Your mouth's full, his mouth's full,

00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:10.940
and nobody's arguing. I'm just saying. Biscuits

00:45:10.940 --> 00:45:21.440
and blowjobs. You're welcome. Becky said she

00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:23.320
cooks with alcohol. I ain't one of these two,

00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:27.840
too, but none of it ended up in the food. So,

00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:31.489
you gotta be careful. She's like, I made this

00:45:31.489 --> 00:45:34.969
with drunk chicken. I was like, is it? Or are

00:45:34.969 --> 00:45:37.630
you? Are you drunk serving chicken? Or is this

00:45:37.630 --> 00:45:42.710
drunk chicken? My old friend Loretta. I say old

00:45:42.710 --> 00:45:43.889
friend because we're not friends anymore. But

00:45:43.889 --> 00:45:46.070
she used to make a rum cake. And I'm like, I'm

00:45:46.070 --> 00:45:47.690
pretty sure you're supposed to add this before

00:45:47.690 --> 00:45:50.769
you bake it. And she's like, no. She'd soak it.

00:45:51.250 --> 00:45:53.570
You could smell it. It smelled like Jimmy Buffet

00:45:53.570 --> 00:45:56.550
on a bad day. You're just like, why does this

00:45:56.550 --> 00:45:59.460
smell like... Jack Sparrow laying out in the

00:45:59.460 --> 00:46:02.360
sun for three days. You get drunk just looking

00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:08.659
at that cake. I don't like cake as much as I

00:46:08.659 --> 00:46:18.960
like brownies. Just letting you know. I'm more

00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:25.380
of a brownie person than a cake person. That's

00:46:25.380 --> 00:46:27.619
why we're on the subject. biscuits and blowjobs.

00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:31.659
That gives a whole new meaning to we're staying

00:46:31.659 --> 00:46:38.139
at the Airbnb, doesn't it? Sounds like a whorehouse

00:46:38.139 --> 00:46:42.519
now, doesn't it? You're gonna think twice about

00:46:42.519 --> 00:46:44.599
eating a Cracker Barrel tomorrow. You're gonna

00:46:44.599 --> 00:46:47.179
be like, but your husband's gonna be like, you

00:46:47.179 --> 00:46:48.500
feel like making some biscuits? And you're gonna

00:46:48.500 --> 00:46:51.000
be like, uh -uh. And he don't mean like a cat

00:46:51.000 --> 00:47:00.070
and rub on his shoulders. Hello, Jeanette. You

00:47:00.070 --> 00:47:01.869
said good day. Are you also in Australia? Because

00:47:01.869 --> 00:47:03.269
so is Carrie Ann and maybe I could be friends.

00:47:06.449 --> 00:47:13.329
Just saying. Has anybody ever accidentally took

00:47:13.329 --> 00:47:15.650
too much RSO and woke up still stoned the next

00:47:15.650 --> 00:47:23.170
day? Just me. I was like, I'll just take a little

00:47:23.170 --> 00:47:26.110
bit in my coffee and I'll go to sleep for two

00:47:26.110 --> 00:47:30.019
or three days. It'll be fine. It doesn't make

00:47:30.019 --> 00:47:37.420
me stupid. It just makes me lazy. B &B. See,

00:47:37.500 --> 00:47:45.199
now we can't say it. Oh, God, David. I just,

00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:47.619
I can smell it. I can smell it just by from the

00:47:47.619 --> 00:47:50.539
name. Like, that's what's so funny. Speaking

00:47:50.539 --> 00:47:52.619
of smelling, oh, my God. And I'm going to make

00:47:52.619 --> 00:47:54.199
fun of him for a minute because his birthday's

00:47:54.199 --> 00:47:57.400
tomorrow. I'm technically in two areas. But anyway,

00:47:57.519 --> 00:48:03.300
so. My buddy, one of my best buddy's husband,

00:48:03.400 --> 00:48:07.800
he's a scent aficionado. Like, he collects colognes.

00:48:07.860 --> 00:48:11.460
Like, he could work at the counter at Dillard's

00:48:11.460 --> 00:48:13.039
and probably Clean House. You know, like he...

00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:19.360
You remember... What was it? Joey? Hermes? Hermes?

00:48:19.539 --> 00:48:24.840
Hermes? Yeah, the cowboy. Anyway. So, he collects

00:48:24.840 --> 00:48:26.800
a lot of colognes, which is good for him. Everybody's

00:48:26.800 --> 00:48:31.280
got their thing. But what kills me is that he

00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:34.199
watches so many TikTok videos about colognes.

00:48:34.340 --> 00:48:39.280
And I'm like... And I couldn't help it. I just

00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:42.800
sat there for a minute like, he's watching videos

00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:50.519
about colognes. That'd be like a deaf person

00:48:50.519 --> 00:48:54.840
listening to music. Like, what does the video

00:48:54.840 --> 00:48:57.389
got to tell you about the colognes? I mean, I've

00:48:57.389 --> 00:48:59.289
been watching perfume commercials for a thousand

00:48:59.289 --> 00:49:01.289
years. You want to see how they all are? You

00:49:01.289 --> 00:49:02.849
want to see how they all are? This is every,

00:49:03.010 --> 00:49:05.530
let me get one of these down because every single,

00:49:05.710 --> 00:49:08.329
uh, oh God, I thought it was a bug. It's a tag.

00:49:08.510 --> 00:49:12.030
Every single Charlize Theron perfume, she's got

00:49:12.030 --> 00:49:15.849
like just this weird necklace on and it's like

00:49:15.849 --> 00:49:24.550
passion, lust, Dior. And I'm like, what? What?

00:49:26.160 --> 00:49:30.480
What? No. I want a perfume commercial that it's

00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:32.880
like, oh shit. And then you spread it on and

00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:36.579
go, oh. Like a Febreze commercial for perfumes.

00:49:36.659 --> 00:49:39.039
That would sell me on perfumes. But having Anne

00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:42.840
Hathaway run through a golden river with some

00:49:42.840 --> 00:49:45.880
kind of pearl necklace on and some aliens beaming

00:49:45.880 --> 00:49:50.179
her up to a giant daisy. And they're like, Chanel.

00:49:50.579 --> 00:50:05.179
And I'm like... What? What? I understand. It's

00:50:05.179 --> 00:50:07.639
weird. Like, Stetson was like the only commercial

00:50:07.639 --> 00:50:09.800
that got it right. You saw a man out on a horse,

00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:12.380
probably smoking a Marlboro, branding some cattle.

00:50:13.019 --> 00:50:14.900
Stetson. You're like, yeah, okay, I know exactly

00:50:14.900 --> 00:50:16.880
what that smells like. I can smell it right now.

00:50:16.920 --> 00:50:19.639
My dad's worn it for 50 years. I'm like, Stetson.

00:50:19.940 --> 00:50:22.099
I can smell Stetson in a hundred friggin' yards.

00:50:22.559 --> 00:50:26.139
I can smell Stetson. A half a click away for

00:50:26.139 --> 00:50:31.260
our metric using viewers. See? I'm trying. Two

00:50:31.260 --> 00:50:35.199
gallons of Moga David Black Cherry Rum? Your

00:50:35.199 --> 00:50:40.420
granny had a problem. She was a pirate. She wasn't

00:50:40.420 --> 00:50:48.099
a nana. She was a pirate. Anyway. Thanks for

00:50:48.099 --> 00:50:52.360
the stars. See? Draco Noir. You probably remember

00:50:52.360 --> 00:50:55.019
that one, too. Or, let's see, what else could

00:50:55.019 --> 00:50:59.039
you always smell? Oh, God, Taboo. I immediately

00:50:59.039 --> 00:51:01.639
look around for my Aunt Wanda and a pack of Capris.

00:51:01.699 --> 00:51:03.519
Every time I smell Taboo, I'm like, where's she

00:51:03.519 --> 00:51:10.460
at? I think, is she dead? Is Aunt Wanda dead?

00:51:11.159 --> 00:51:14.119
I know Uncle Roger is. Nobody's checked on Wanda

00:51:14.119 --> 00:51:17.280
in a while. She might be dead. I can still smell

00:51:17.280 --> 00:51:19.019
her, though. I bet that they bury her with a...

00:51:19.309 --> 00:51:21.949
100 gallons worth of taboo. I know when my papa

00:51:21.949 --> 00:51:25.849
died, we found 75 things of Old Spice aftershave

00:51:25.849 --> 00:51:27.309
in his closet. Because we all got it for him

00:51:27.309 --> 00:51:29.389
for Christmas, and he'd just stockpile it. He'd

00:51:29.389 --> 00:51:32.929
say thank you, and he'd stockpile it. You know

00:51:32.929 --> 00:51:34.730
what else pisses me off? Gatorade commercials.

00:51:37.969 --> 00:51:41.050
As an athlete, which I'm not, but I would assume

00:51:41.050 --> 00:51:44.210
you would know to drink lots of water and take

00:51:44.210 --> 00:51:46.510
electrolytes. That would seem like a... This

00:51:46.510 --> 00:51:48.570
is what I do. You know, like, I know as a country

00:51:48.570 --> 00:51:52.429
music singer, I'm gonna be as occupational hazards

00:51:52.429 --> 00:51:55.789
around a lot of smoky and whiskey -infested rooms.

00:51:56.289 --> 00:52:00.230
I'm prepared for that. Who are they selling Gatorade

00:52:00.230 --> 00:52:03.190
to? Why are you putting an athlete on there?

00:52:03.329 --> 00:52:05.610
That's already part of their uniform. They know

00:52:05.610 --> 00:52:07.510
we gotta drink this stuff. It makes you stupid.

00:52:07.610 --> 00:52:11.710
Okay. Why don't they put, like, college kid,

00:52:11.849 --> 00:52:14.750
20 years old, 22, whatever, make it legal, whatever.

00:52:15.550 --> 00:52:24.869
He gets up in the morning, he's like... Hungover

00:52:24.869 --> 00:52:34.929
as shit, and he's like... Gatorade. I would buy

00:52:34.929 --> 00:52:38.550
that. I'd be like, yeah. Yeah, I feel that. But

00:52:38.550 --> 00:52:41.989
if you're already running in a decathlon, and

00:52:41.989 --> 00:52:44.190
you've jumped over an ocean, and you've thrown

00:52:44.190 --> 00:52:47.889
a spear, back across the Tour de France, and

00:52:47.889 --> 00:52:54.969
then they're like, what should I drink now? Seems

00:52:54.969 --> 00:53:01.130
like a given. I don't... I don't know. Why are

00:53:01.130 --> 00:53:03.449
there toilet paper commercials? Who's not buying

00:53:03.449 --> 00:53:12.210
toilet paper? And why, and why, and why do we

00:53:12.210 --> 00:53:15.599
have bears advertising for Charmin? And coincidentally,

00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:17.599
Coca -Cola. Bears have been taking jobs long

00:53:17.599 --> 00:53:21.179
before AI. They tell us that we can prevent forest

00:53:21.179 --> 00:53:23.639
fires. They tell us what kind of toilet paper

00:53:23.639 --> 00:53:27.179
to buy. They tell us which bed is the most comfortable,

00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:29.179
and this one is just right. I'm telling you,

00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:31.380
like, bears have been taking jobs a lot longer

00:53:31.380 --> 00:53:36.179
than robots. Just saying. I just don't understand

00:53:36.179 --> 00:53:39.500
why are bears drinking Coca -Cola? And why are

00:53:39.500 --> 00:53:42.219
bears using toilet paper? This doesn't seem like

00:53:42.219 --> 00:53:44.840
a species of animal who would need either of

00:53:44.840 --> 00:53:49.079
those items. Doesn't make any sense. And why

00:53:49.079 --> 00:53:52.500
do people say, I'm as happy as a clam? Clams!

00:53:52.579 --> 00:53:55.380
You know, the sea creature known for their vast

00:53:55.380 --> 00:54:02.179
array of emotion. I'm happy as a clam. I'm mad

00:54:02.179 --> 00:54:10.900
as a clam. I'm as indifferent as a clam. Happy

00:54:10.900 --> 00:54:12.780
as a hyena. We should say that. I'm as happy

00:54:12.780 --> 00:54:20.699
as a hyena. Coke bear. Listen, that's a whole

00:54:20.699 --> 00:54:23.099
new thing. Did you watch that cocaine bear or

00:54:23.099 --> 00:54:25.780
whatever it was? What was that on? That stupid

00:54:25.780 --> 00:54:29.039
movie? Oh, God, it's funny. It's funny to watch.

00:54:29.599 --> 00:54:31.360
Take some RSO and watch. And you're like, this

00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:35.199
dumb sale. But it also could happen. All right.

00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:39.780
Exactly, Shannon. You're gonna buy toilet paper

00:54:39.780 --> 00:54:43.519
anyway. It's just a matter of if you have strong

00:54:43.519 --> 00:54:46.340
shits or a tender ass. That's your only two options.

00:54:46.519 --> 00:54:48.840
Really strong toilet paper or really soft toilet

00:54:48.840 --> 00:54:50.800
paper. Or you got that John Wayne toilet paper

00:54:50.800 --> 00:54:52.699
that's a dollar a roll down at the Dollar General

00:54:52.699 --> 00:54:54.179
and it's rough and tough and don't take no shit

00:54:54.179 --> 00:54:58.099
off nobody. You have to wrap it like 80 times.

00:55:03.559 --> 00:55:06.900
The younger generation's probably... using bidets.

00:55:07.059 --> 00:55:08.900
Or the Sears catalog. Maybe they're just taking

00:55:08.900 --> 00:55:12.099
it all the way back. I don't know. They're like

00:55:12.099 --> 00:55:13.760
in Canon and Quilt and maybe they're like, I'm

00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:16.019
gonna stop using toilet paper. Hand me that Sears

00:55:16.019 --> 00:55:21.360
robot. Alright. It was hard going to the outhouse

00:55:21.360 --> 00:55:23.380
near Christmas time. You did not want to use

00:55:23.380 --> 00:55:27.539
the toy catalog. All your dreams just went down

00:55:27.539 --> 00:55:31.280
the shitter. You can't send Santa a shitty Christmas

00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:33.420
card. You can't be like, this is what I want.

00:55:33.519 --> 00:55:42.070
Forgive the lie. All right, let's see. Maybe

00:55:42.070 --> 00:55:43.949
the Coke gives the Bears the need for toilet

00:55:43.949 --> 00:55:50.429
paper. Perhaps. Wrong clam. Listen, that one

00:55:50.429 --> 00:55:54.349
doesn't show a lot of emotion either. Not these

00:55:54.349 --> 00:56:02.010
days. All right, anyway. A gallon of MD and a

00:56:02.010 --> 00:56:04.349
devout Southern Baptist. Oh, well, that checks

00:56:04.349 --> 00:56:08.409
out. Halfway expected Church of Christ. Anyway,

00:56:08.409 --> 00:56:11.150
Shannon uses a bidet. I use a bidet on occasion

00:56:11.150 --> 00:56:13.070
because I lived in Italy there for a while, you

00:56:13.070 --> 00:56:14.409
know, so I learned how to use them. And then

00:56:14.409 --> 00:56:16.630
we have one on our toilet here that was attached

00:56:16.630 --> 00:56:19.949
by the previous owner. And, of course, we've

00:56:19.949 --> 00:56:22.469
deep cleaned it, whatever. And I was like, hold

00:56:22.469 --> 00:56:24.050
up, there's a bidet on this thing, and that's

00:56:24.050 --> 00:56:26.070
pretty neat. So I was thinking about it. It was

00:56:26.070 --> 00:56:28.250
very helpful during my kidney stone moments.

00:56:28.349 --> 00:56:30.869
But the whole point is that I accidentally...

00:56:31.460 --> 00:56:33.659
messed up the direction knob with the water pressure

00:56:33.659 --> 00:56:36.940
knob, and I shot myself across the bathroom like

00:56:36.940 --> 00:56:40.059
I was at Stonewall in the 60s, and I nearly drowned.

00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:45.119
You can't get them buttons mixed up. I told my

00:56:45.119 --> 00:56:46.579
husband, I was like, I about drowned. He was

00:56:46.579 --> 00:56:48.000
like, that's not how you drown. I'm like, let's

00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:49.159
not know if you've ever been on a boat that's

00:56:49.159 --> 00:56:50.559
taken on water, but it really doesn't matter

00:56:50.559 --> 00:57:10.670
where the hole is, okay? I heard some clucking.

00:57:10.789 --> 00:57:12.289
I was making sure that they were all right. I

00:57:12.289 --> 00:57:16.090
got a sick chick down there. Do I ever watch

00:57:16.090 --> 00:57:18.110
the show Suddenly Amish? No, but I've lived it

00:57:18.110 --> 00:57:20.150
a couple times when we lost power up on the mountain.

00:57:20.190 --> 00:57:21.489
I had to go down to the creek and get my own

00:57:21.489 --> 00:57:24.849
water. And let's be honest, I was having a very

00:57:24.849 --> 00:57:26.670
severe mental breakdown after my divorce, and

00:57:26.670 --> 00:57:28.570
I wore nothing but leggings for two years. So

00:57:28.570 --> 00:57:31.010
I was Suddenly Amish. No buttons, no zippers,

00:57:31.050 --> 00:57:33.829
and basically living in the dark. I don't need

00:57:33.829 --> 00:57:43.420
to watch it. I lived it. I lived it. I did live

00:57:43.420 --> 00:57:45.639
in Hart County during the COVID pandemic, and

00:57:45.639 --> 00:57:50.139
I got really tickled because it's right on the

00:57:50.139 --> 00:57:52.159
edge of Amish country. There's a lot of Amish

00:57:52.159 --> 00:57:53.900
communities right there in Hart County. And so

00:57:53.900 --> 00:57:55.440
we'd always go out there to Amish Walmart. I

00:57:55.440 --> 00:57:57.019
don't remember what it's really named. R &S,

00:57:57.099 --> 00:57:58.920
Salvage, or something, but whatever. We called

00:57:58.920 --> 00:58:01.039
it Amish Walmart. So we would go out there, and

00:58:01.039 --> 00:58:02.920
they'd tell you to have your masks and all that

00:58:02.920 --> 00:58:04.300
horse shit, which I never wore one because I

00:58:04.300 --> 00:58:05.699
was always packing. And you can't wear a mask

00:58:05.699 --> 00:58:08.119
and pack a gun. That's a felony. If I'm wearing

00:58:08.119 --> 00:58:10.239
a mask somewhere during COVID, I was robbing

00:58:10.239 --> 00:58:12.199
you, okay, because I was always packing. So anyway.

00:58:13.239 --> 00:58:14.780
I went out there and none of them had on masks.

00:58:14.920 --> 00:58:17.420
And I said, why ain't none of y 'all sick? She

00:58:17.420 --> 00:58:21.039
said, we don't got TV. And I was like, fair enough.

00:58:24.039 --> 00:58:25.880
I'm glad you had a good 51st birthday, Lorraine.

00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:29.440
Happy birthday. I'm trying to read the comments.

00:58:30.280 --> 00:58:32.480
A bidet is so much better. We'll see. When I

00:58:32.480 --> 00:58:34.239
was in Italy and I was walking in flip -flops

00:58:34.239 --> 00:58:35.960
up the cobblestone streets eight and ten hours

00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.920
at a time by myself, I will say the bidet was

00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:41.579
about... six cups worth of ice and this plugger

00:58:41.579 --> 00:58:47.420
in it was a nice foot bath. I did almost drown

00:58:47.420 --> 00:58:49.300
from a bidet. You weren't there. You don't know.

00:58:49.380 --> 00:58:51.519
It was terrifying. Chastity, I lived in Harkin.

00:58:51.559 --> 00:58:52.960
I was right there on South Street, right behind

00:58:52.960 --> 00:58:55.039
J .D. Craddock's office in that big log cabin

00:58:55.039 --> 00:58:58.559
for about six years. I don't even know if it's

00:58:58.559 --> 00:59:02.300
still there. It ain't been there forever. Amy's

00:59:02.300 --> 00:59:05.309
coming to see me in Harkin. Walk up and say,

00:59:05.389 --> 00:59:08.250
I am Amy from Facebook. And I'll be like, okay.

00:59:08.570 --> 00:59:09.789
Because people will walk up and be like, how's

00:59:09.789 --> 00:59:12.630
your rooster? I'm like, have we met? You got

00:59:12.630 --> 00:59:13.969
to keep in mind, I don't get to see you guys.

00:59:14.010 --> 00:59:15.809
You get to see me. And you're like, there's a

00:59:15.809 --> 00:59:20.329
bug on my left shoulder. Where? There's not.

00:59:22.969 --> 00:59:26.050
Happy birthday, Janie. Happy birthday to Janie.

00:59:26.050 --> 00:59:27.670
Happy birthday to Janie. It's Janie Farmer's

00:59:27.670 --> 00:59:32.159
birthday. Happy birthday to Janie. We honestly

00:59:32.159 --> 00:59:34.019
get after it with a pair of garden chairs. Just

00:59:34.019 --> 00:59:36.099
have to make sure they're about it. There's not

00:59:36.099 --> 00:59:40.320
a bug on my shoulder. There's not. On either

00:59:40.320 --> 00:59:48.840
side. There's not. There's not. I do have some

00:59:48.840 --> 00:59:51.059
chicken feet on my shoulder because Leonard jumped

00:59:51.059 --> 00:59:55.800
up on my shoulder. R &S Salvage. Thank you, Stacy.

00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:58.659
Whatever it was called. Amish Walmart. You know

00:59:58.659 --> 01:00:02.880
what it's called. You know. We all call it the

01:00:02.880 --> 01:00:09.239
Amish Walmart. You found a 1944 Masonic book.

01:00:09.300 --> 01:00:10.659
What should you do with it? You should call your

01:00:10.659 --> 01:00:12.659
local chapter of the Free and Accepted Masons

01:00:12.659 --> 01:00:14.119
and see if they want it for their historical

01:00:14.119 --> 01:00:17.000
collection. And if they don't, then call the

01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:18.920
state chapter and see if they do. But those books

01:00:18.920 --> 01:00:21.800
are few and far between. So either keep it under

01:00:21.800 --> 01:00:23.860
lock and key and pass it down through the generations

01:00:23.860 --> 01:00:25.599
or call your local chapter and be like, Hey,

01:00:25.619 --> 01:00:34.190
I found something. Y 'all want it. Happy birthday

01:00:34.190 --> 01:00:39.409
from Wichita Falls, Texas. How awesome. Well,

01:00:39.469 --> 01:00:40.829
it might have been there. Hell, I don't know.

01:00:40.909 --> 01:00:43.550
I tracked everything but boys and men, so it's

01:00:43.550 --> 01:00:52.110
whatever. I'm not scared of a bug. I'd probably

01:00:52.110 --> 01:00:53.929
try to adopt it, give it a name, put it in a

01:00:53.929 --> 01:00:58.789
cage. Rip its wings off, make it serve me, whatever.

01:01:00.969 --> 01:01:04.099
I killed a rat last night. With my bare hands.

01:01:04.360 --> 01:01:07.219
With my bare hands. It was outside and it was

01:01:07.219 --> 01:01:09.019
just looking at me. And I was readjusting the

01:01:09.019 --> 01:01:10.539
bricks around my fire bed. And it just looked

01:01:10.539 --> 01:01:12.119
at me. And I just threw the brick at it. And

01:01:12.119 --> 01:01:13.380
it hit it in the head and it knocked over. And

01:01:13.380 --> 01:01:16.199
I was like... And then it just kind of got up.

01:01:16.340 --> 01:01:18.059
And I hit it in the head again with the brick.

01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:21.360
And I was like... I think I killed this rat.

01:01:24.119 --> 01:01:28.000
It was a weird feeling. No, but I hit it right

01:01:28.000 --> 01:01:29.739
in the head. Killed it. It was a big long rat.

01:01:29.880 --> 01:01:31.280
It came up from the river. And I was like, no!

01:01:31.780 --> 01:01:37.989
Not today. Not when you got chickens. No. Cynthia

01:01:37.989 --> 01:01:41.210
names her frogs, that's fine. We had Cynthia

01:01:41.210 --> 01:01:45.929
and Josh. Those were Dylan's two frogs. I don't

01:01:45.929 --> 01:01:48.690
know where he got those names. And I remember

01:01:48.690 --> 01:01:51.829
one day, one of them got run over. Oh my God,

01:01:51.909 --> 01:01:55.050
Dylan was distraught. Thank God it wasn't Cynthia.

01:01:56.090 --> 01:01:57.730
It might have been because he watched Rugrats,

01:01:57.789 --> 01:02:00.670
now that I think about it. Hadn't thought about

01:02:00.670 --> 01:02:02.980
them frogs for years. Oh, I got so upset the

01:02:02.980 --> 01:02:04.320
other night, I saved a frog. It was out in the

01:02:04.320 --> 01:02:05.739
middle of the street. I brought it into the yard.

01:02:05.840 --> 01:02:06.900
It jumped back out in the middle of the street.

01:02:06.980 --> 01:02:08.840
And then the Uber guy, or not the Uber guy, but

01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:10.780
the DoorDash guy ran over it. And I got so mad.

01:02:12.380 --> 01:02:13.760
If I'd had that brick, I probably would have

01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:14.900
thrown it at that Uber driver and be like, you

01:02:14.900 --> 01:02:19.940
just ran over my frog. Keep in mind that after

01:02:19.940 --> 01:02:22.320
rainstorms that the turtles are moving. Squirrels,

01:02:22.320 --> 01:02:24.519
they make a conscious decision. Turtles, they

01:02:24.519 --> 01:02:26.159
made that decision long before you got there.

01:02:26.440 --> 01:02:28.800
So I will always break for yard sales, curb alerts,

01:02:29.019 --> 01:02:30.659
weird shit on the side of the road, and turtles.

01:02:34.320 --> 01:02:36.179
I don't know what it was, but it has rained a

01:02:36.179 --> 01:02:37.480
lot, which means that the rats are coming up

01:02:37.480 --> 01:02:39.400
from the creek. And, I mean, it was big. It was

01:02:39.400 --> 01:02:42.019
like a New York City River sewer rat. And I hit

01:02:42.019 --> 01:02:43.599
it in the head with a brick, and I killed it.

01:02:43.719 --> 01:02:45.760
And I threw it in a bucket. And then I take a

01:02:45.760 --> 01:02:47.559
nap, and now it's gone. So I'm thinking my husband

01:02:47.559 --> 01:02:49.860
threw it over the hill. I told him I was going

01:02:49.860 --> 01:02:51.800
to taxidermy it. I guess he thought I was kidding.

01:02:53.300 --> 01:03:05.280
Well, stuff this rat. First kill. see nothing

01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:07.739
really like Sean I'll be like stand still and

01:03:07.739 --> 01:03:10.880
he'll like just go into like a karate chop like

01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:12.460
it's like a Bruce Lee film and I'm like quit

01:03:12.460 --> 01:03:19.599
me I'm like wasp there was a whole hive of honeybees

01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:21.440
that was living in the cabin one summer and I

01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:23.860
went in there with a mason jar and I literally

01:03:23.860 --> 01:03:25.860
picked them up with my bare hands and I took

01:03:25.860 --> 01:03:27.920
them outside to a friend that was collecting

01:03:27.920 --> 01:03:30.559
them and they didn't sting me once. If you're

01:03:30.559 --> 01:03:32.340
not freaking out, of course, I had a cigarette

01:03:32.340 --> 01:03:33.539
hanging in my mouth. That probably helped. But

01:03:33.539 --> 01:03:35.239
if you're not freaking out, they won't freak

01:03:35.239 --> 01:03:41.659
out. Energy is contagious. Negativity breeds

01:03:41.659 --> 01:03:44.760
negativity. Happiness breeds happiness. Hurt

01:03:44.760 --> 01:03:46.860
people hurt people. Heal people heal people.

01:03:50.139 --> 01:03:57.079
So, mind your energy. Brenda, that just reminded

01:03:57.079 --> 01:03:59.719
me of a story when you said that like that. Oh,

01:03:59.719 --> 01:04:04.559
my God. Okay. A long time ago, I was traveling

01:04:04.559 --> 01:04:08.039
with somebody. We went to Dollywood. And it was

01:04:08.039 --> 01:04:10.079
during the craft fair in October. So, like, a

01:04:10.079 --> 01:04:12.860
bunch of old people. And there was also a Model

01:04:12.860 --> 01:04:15.880
T car show in Gatlinburg, too. So, a bunch of

01:04:15.880 --> 01:04:17.679
old people. Like, people like this is their first

01:04:17.679 --> 01:04:20.360
car. Like, this wasn't ironic. Like, they were

01:04:20.360 --> 01:04:21.920
like, I've kept this car since I first bought

01:04:21.920 --> 01:04:26.849
it in 19 -whatever. Well, I couldn't help but

01:04:26.849 --> 01:04:29.110
overhear the people behind us in line because

01:04:29.110 --> 01:04:30.750
they had hearing aids and they're loud as shit.

01:04:30.929 --> 01:04:33.969
So one of them said, where did y 'all come from?

01:04:34.130 --> 01:04:36.130
And the other couple said, we just got in from

01:04:36.130 --> 01:04:39.289
Charlotte. And the couple next to us said, we

01:04:39.289 --> 01:04:41.309
have a granddaughter named Charlotte. And I was

01:04:41.309 --> 01:04:51.489
like... And Richie watches videos about colognes.

01:04:51.610 --> 01:04:53.789
I don't know. It's just the things that make

01:04:53.789 --> 01:04:57.280
you go... You have gopher turtles on your property?

01:04:57.420 --> 01:05:00.179
That's fantastic. I love Dollywood, too. Dollywood

01:05:00.179 --> 01:05:04.260
is my Disney World. It used to be the best craft

01:05:04.260 --> 01:05:06.179
show, Wendy. Now it's got a little commercialized,

01:05:06.219 --> 01:05:07.500
and I don't know what's up with Dolly, but I

01:05:07.500 --> 01:05:08.900
think that she died two or three years ago, and

01:05:08.900 --> 01:05:10.699
they're just propping her up like Bernies. I'm

01:05:10.699 --> 01:05:13.559
just saying she don't look right. It's like she's

01:05:13.559 --> 01:05:15.679
too animatronic. I don't know. Maybe she's had

01:05:15.679 --> 01:05:17.300
some problems. I don't know. I'll talk to somebody.

01:05:17.420 --> 01:05:22.679
I know some people in that camp. I'll call. Bonnie,

01:05:22.739 --> 01:05:24.199
that's the truth. You're always gonna be a villain

01:05:24.199 --> 01:05:31.579
in somebody's story, so just, you know. Remember

01:05:31.579 --> 01:05:34.719
who you answer to. Dance with the one who bring

01:05:34.719 --> 01:05:42.539
it. Energy is contagious. It just depends on

01:05:42.539 --> 01:05:44.340
what energy you surround yourself with. If you're

01:05:44.340 --> 01:05:46.059
doom -scrolling all the time and watching batshit

01:05:46.059 --> 01:05:48.000
on TV and batshit on your phone and batshit on

01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:50.269
your iPod, batshit on your iPad, then that's

01:05:50.269 --> 01:05:51.809
going to poison what you got going on. If you

01:05:51.809 --> 01:05:55.210
get out there and take your shoes off and actually

01:05:55.210 --> 01:05:57.889
put your bare feet to the earth outside for at

01:05:57.889 --> 01:06:00.389
least 30 minutes a day, get you some fresh air,

01:06:00.429 --> 01:06:02.550
get you some vitamin D, sit out here, pet a cat,

01:06:02.690 --> 01:06:06.170
hold a chicken, feed a dog, water a plant, that

01:06:06.170 --> 01:06:14.710
energy is fantastic. And it will help to go out

01:06:14.710 --> 01:06:22.739
into the world. That's what I say. If I'm in

01:06:22.739 --> 01:06:24.659
a great mood, I try to put everybody else in

01:06:24.659 --> 01:06:27.099
a great mood. If I'm in a bad mood, I do the

01:06:27.099 --> 01:06:28.860
same thing because misery loves company. But

01:06:28.860 --> 01:06:33.880
if you're conscious and you're mindful about

01:06:33.880 --> 01:06:35.980
the energy that you are presenting into the world,

01:06:36.059 --> 01:06:41.599
then you can kind of even out and calibrate.

01:06:43.420 --> 01:06:48.989
Ground yourself, Vicki. See, you get it. I like

01:06:48.989 --> 01:06:50.469
to sit with my feet out in the grass at least

01:06:50.469 --> 01:06:52.590
30 minutes a day. You just gotta watch for dog

01:06:52.590 --> 01:06:55.269
shit and chicken droppings. You gotta watch your

01:06:55.269 --> 01:07:00.849
step when you know the chips are down. Hey, that's

01:07:00.849 --> 01:07:02.710
what I say. That's what I say. Dollywood's my

01:07:02.710 --> 01:07:04.429
Disney world. I'd rather see Dolly part than

01:07:04.429 --> 01:07:07.809
Mickey Mouse. I wasted a lot of time at Dollywood

01:07:07.809 --> 01:07:09.329
Center by that little guest apartment there by

01:07:09.329 --> 01:07:10.650
the Rags to Riches Museum that used to be up

01:07:10.650 --> 01:07:13.659
there by the train back in the 80s. And I would

01:07:13.659 --> 01:07:15.519
see the curtains moving. Mom's like, she's not

01:07:15.519 --> 01:07:17.219
here. I'm like, yes, she is. She's like, no,

01:07:17.239 --> 01:07:19.500
she's not. She is in Boise, Idaho. And I'm like,

01:07:19.559 --> 01:07:22.119
no, she's here. And I would stand there. I would

01:07:22.119 --> 01:07:23.679
miss everything. I'd miss the train. I'd miss

01:07:23.679 --> 01:07:25.099
the cinnamon bread. I'd miss feeding the ducks.

01:07:25.199 --> 01:07:26.619
I'd miss getting on the Tilt -A -Whirl. I'd miss

01:07:26.619 --> 01:07:28.880
everything, thinking that maybe I'd see Dolly.

01:07:29.199 --> 01:07:30.719
And then I ended up working for her company for

01:07:30.719 --> 01:07:32.619
seven years, got to see her all the time. The

01:07:32.619 --> 01:07:34.480
Lord's funny like that. He's like, here's, I

01:07:34.480 --> 01:07:35.860
told her, I said, you owe me a lot in, like,

01:07:35.860 --> 01:07:37.619
Dollywood tickets. She's like, yeah, probably.

01:07:37.860 --> 01:07:39.719
I was like, yeah. Because I spent a lot of time

01:07:39.719 --> 01:07:41.340
just waiting to meet you, and you weren't there.

01:07:44.359 --> 01:07:45.980
You'd think they'd have, like, a dolly impersonator

01:07:45.980 --> 01:07:47.719
there, like they have somebody playing Mickey

01:07:47.719 --> 01:07:50.659
Mouse. It'd have to be a caricature, though.

01:07:50.719 --> 01:07:52.739
You couldn't make, like, the real... Like, you'd

01:07:52.739 --> 01:07:54.260
have to be, like, a dolly cartoon character.

01:07:58.980 --> 01:08:01.219
Things I was thinking about. What I like to call

01:08:01.219 --> 01:08:08.619
my ideas. Well, it is now 12 after 10 o 'clock

01:08:08.619 --> 01:08:11.539
on Sunday, July the 12th. I'm going to get in

01:08:11.539 --> 01:08:13.219
there and eat some supper that my husband so

01:08:13.219 --> 01:08:16.359
lovingly cooked so I didn't have to today. I

01:08:16.359 --> 01:08:18.399
have slept the majority of the day. I'm probably

01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:19.939
going to go back to bed here before midnight,

01:08:20.119 --> 01:08:21.680
and then I'll get up early in the morning, feed

01:08:21.680 --> 01:08:23.420
the chickens, put on my tennis shoes, and go

01:08:23.420 --> 01:08:28.840
to the gym and start it all over again. If you

01:08:28.840 --> 01:08:30.859
want us to come somewhere near you, we have about

01:08:30.859 --> 01:08:32.800
three dates left between now and the end of October,

01:08:32.979 --> 01:08:35.180
so get on the website at SarahBethea .com and

01:08:35.180 --> 01:08:36.779
hit the Book Me thing. If you also want a customized

01:08:36.779 --> 01:08:40.000
song, I do those as well. And you can get on

01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:41.319
the Book Me tab and do that as well. Be like,

01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:43.460
this isn't for a gig. This is for a song. And

01:08:43.460 --> 01:08:45.159
I'll be like, okay. It still goes to the same

01:08:45.159 --> 01:08:53.319
email address. Anywho. If you want to come to

01:08:53.319 --> 01:08:54.520
some of the shows. If you want some of the new

01:08:54.520 --> 01:08:56.420
merchandise. If you want a customized hat, jacket,

01:08:56.500 --> 01:08:58.460
or earrings. Please let me know. I am doing some

01:08:58.460 --> 01:09:02.579
orders for those in the next couple weeks. So.

01:09:05.020 --> 01:09:07.300
Let me know. I'm kind of a jack of all trades.

01:09:08.860 --> 01:09:10.420
Just your cigarette mom sitting on the porch

01:09:10.420 --> 01:09:13.100
hanging out. In the meantime, friends, keep your

01:09:13.100 --> 01:09:14.399
Bible open, your paddle dry, and your head on

01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:15.960
a swivel because people are acting crazy. Be

01:09:15.960 --> 01:09:17.319
nice to old people, animals, and children. Try

01:09:17.319 --> 01:09:18.460
to love your neighbor if you can't give to God

01:09:18.460 --> 01:09:20.640
because he loves you and I do too. Until we see

01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:22.039
each other again, remember, perhaps the most

01:09:22.039 --> 01:09:24.300
important of all, I'm Sarah Beth Terry and you're

01:09:24.300 --> 01:09:25.100
not. Good night.