WEBVTT

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I'm Sarah Beth Terry and you're not. Good evening

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and welcome to a Tuesday night on the porch.

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I know it's 940 at night and way past most of

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our bedtimes, but I have had a day. I've had

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a day. Today is July the 7th. I had to make sure

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that that was right. Is that right? Yes. Oh my

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goodness. That's a lot. That's a lot today. I

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didn't realize we were already a week into this

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month. Oh my goodness. It's just so much. So

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how's your day been? What have y 'all been doing?

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Anything crazy? Anything good? No? Everything

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good? Kind of one of those things. Grab a cup

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of coffee or a sweet tea. Pull up a rocker and

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let's see what's happening in God's world. You

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want to? On the front page tonight, USA eliminated

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from the World Cup. I know. The U .S. men's national

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team fell 4 -1 in Belgium at the round of 16

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Monday night. Belgium now advances to face Spain,

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while many fans are already turning their attention

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towards building for the next World Cup cycle.

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I don't care either way, but everybody seems

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to be real excited about it. The quarterfinal

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picture takes shape if you are keeping up with

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FIFA right now. Spain, France, Morocco, and England

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and Norway have already secured places in the

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World Cup quarterfinals with more rounds of 16

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matches scheduled later. Oh, my God. It just

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keeps going. There's just so much, so much soccer.

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The markets are turning your attention to earnings.

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Wall Street is shifting from holiday mode into

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earnings season, as we talked about yesterday.

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Investors are watching corporate profits, AI

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spending, and interest rate expectations for

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clues about the economy's direction. So there's

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that. America 250 celebrations continue across

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the United States. Communities across the country

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are still celebrating the anniversary of America

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with festivals, concerts, museum exhibits, and

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historical events. So if you have one in your

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neck of the woods, go check it out. That moth

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went right in my eye. Have you ever seen that

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in your entire life? I've never seen a moth to

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the eye. I've seen a moth to the flame. But never

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a moth to the eye. Your top ten things in the

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world today. Belgium advances to the World Cup

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quarterfinals after defeating the United States,

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which was also our number one headline. Spain

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books its place in the final eight and awaits

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Belgium. They're pretty good at soccer. They're

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better at waffles. So let's see what happens.

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NATO leaders continue discussing European defense

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cooperation. Trump was in Turkey today. That's

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all I know about that. Global energy markets

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remain focused on oil production and prices.

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The United States is now the number one exporter

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of oil in the world, beating Russia. AI investment

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continues accelerating worldwide. Several European

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countries remain under summer heat advisories.

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International shipping routes continue operating

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under heightened security. Tourism across Europe

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remains strong during peak vacation season. Space

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companies continue expanding commercial launch

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schedules, and central banks continue bouncing

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inflation and economic growth. Sounds like a

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whole lot more of the same. but we're here for

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it. In the United States, Congress returns to

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Washington after the Independence Day recess.

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Maybe they'll finally get something done. Thomas

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Massey did put a post up the other night, and

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I don't like him at all, but when he said, three

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strokes and you're out, and I was like, is that

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the new rule in Congress? Because it should be.

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Investors begin watching second quarter earnings

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reports. If you're a Wall Street nut, if you

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have money invested in things that you can't

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see, this might be your time to shine. So look

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forward to it. Summer travel remains near record

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levels despite the gas prices and the heat. We

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still have places to go and we kind of have to

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go there regardless of the price and the weather.

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No, no, no, no. National Parks continue reporting

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strong visitor numbers because of the 250th celebration.

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If you are a veteran and you can apply for the

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Gold Star Card, which is free, you can visit

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any of our national parks free of charge with

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your DD -214. So just keep that in mind. Home

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affordability remains a major concern despite

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improving housing inventory. There's a lot of

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houses, just nobody's buying them because we

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can't afford them because the interest rate is

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7%. Did I miss something? No. Alright, AI continues

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to dominate corporate investment strategies.

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Okay, here, let's talk about this for a second.

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Because somebody got sideways with me yesterday

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over AI. I'm going to say this as nicely as possible.

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You're missing the point. Yes, they're geofencing.

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Yes, they're flock cameras. Yes, they're putting

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a tracker on every single one of us. They have

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forever because we have GPS on our phones and

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you use it to figure out where your other phone

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is. Let's explain what AI is actually doing for

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you that's good because no one seems to realize

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that part of it. It's actually creating opportunities

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for you to be more human. For the last 30 years,

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I've heard everybody bitch about clocking in,

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clocking out. I'm nothing but a robot at my job.

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They could replace me at any moment. I hate my

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job. I want to spend more time with my family,

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my kids, my hobbies, my farm. Congratulations!

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Now there is an opportunity for technology to

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take over the mundane work that you hate doing

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so bad. You can now invest in more human opportunities.

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Take it up with a hobby. Garden. Go visit your

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friends. Go out and do something. Reach out and

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touch somebody. Do stuff that is intrinsically

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human and not AI. And quit bitchin' about the

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progress of man. If you don't like that it's

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threatening your job, get better at your job.

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If you don't like that it's threatening the music

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industry, write better songs. If you don't like

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that it's threatening the art industry, draw

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better pictures. If you don't like that it's

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threatening production, then you come up with

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something, Henry Ford. But in the meantime, I'm

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going to be growing tomatoes, smoking cigarettes,

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and doing the Lord's work because, A, I can't.

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Say what you want to, ride this dragon or get

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burnt by it, but I'm so tired of everybody being

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threatened by something they don't understand,

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and you're never going to support what intimidates

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you. It's a very good reason why I don't have

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a lot of support in Kentucky because I intimidate

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the shit out of them. That's okay. I've been

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doing this since I was 16 years old. They ran

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me out of town on a rail and told me I'd never

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going to be a country music singer or songwriter.

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And here we are 25 years later and I'm paying

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my bills with the songs that other people are

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singing. How's that sound? It's still good. You

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feel better about it? You feel better about supporting

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everybody else but your own home crowd? People

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don't support what they're intimidated by. All

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right. Election season begins quietly ramping

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up ahead of the fall midterms, considering that

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the Supreme Court has now said there is no limit

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on the spending for campaigns. So look forward

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to the midterms. There's no telling. It might

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have commercials like the Super Bowl. I don't

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even know what to expect at this point. Speaking

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of politics, campaigns begin shifting. I mean,

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good Lord, are we ready for it? Are you ready

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for it? Because the bullshit starts. Better get

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your boots and your umbrella. Executive authority

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remains a major political discussion after recent

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Supreme Court decisions. If it were up to me,

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we would get rid of all of them and put new ones

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in there because everybody seems to have got

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a turncoat on us, and I think they should be

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called Benedict Arnold's, but that's just me.

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At some point, you have to realize that you're

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there for a job. You're there to make big decisions

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and not placate and patronize the American public.

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That's not what you're there for. You're there

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to make the big decisions that we can't trust

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the regular people. If you're asking the regular

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people how to make these decisions, you're not

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doing your job. Mitch McConnell been brain dead

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since 94, and now I think it's medically official.

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I'm sorry I don't have any sympathy for it. Sometimes

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bad shit happens to bad people. Moving on. Immigration

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continues to be a top issue, mostly because everybody

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that's here illegally is killing people that

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are here legally, and then we're having a big

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conflict about it. Quit bitchin' because the

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coons are eatin' all your cat food when you're

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leavin' the cat food out and you don't put out

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a live trap. I don't know what to tell ye. This

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has a simple solution, but we're too busy about

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hurtin' everybody else's feelings and steppin'

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on toes that we forget that we have steel -toed

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boots. God! I'm so sick of this stupidity. It

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is rampant. All right. Border security legislation

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remains under debate. We can't figure out where

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the border is or if we're going to let people

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across it. This has been a problem since the

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beginning. Budget negotiations continue as states

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prepare for November elections. AI regulations

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continue developing. Energy independence remains

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a bipartisan discussion. Education remains active

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in many state legislators for their policies.

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And polling firms continue tracking voters' sentiment.

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which is hard to do since you can't show an idea.

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Nobody seems to know if you're supposed to vote

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or not. So it's fine. You know, we'll figure

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it out. In pop culture, new streaming releases

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arrived this week, including TV series, films,

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and albums. So if you're ready to binge in the

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heat, get on there and check it out. Summer blockbuster

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season remains strong, including that new Sheep,

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maybe with Hugh Jackman, which apparently is

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really, really good. And now Hail Mary is on

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Amazon Prime. If you didn't get Ryan Gosling's

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Saving the Universe in the theaters, it is now

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available. If you are a Prime member, Paris...

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Haute Couture Week starts this week. Get really

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excited. You can tell that I'm going with all

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the outfits that I have in my closet. They called

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me first, obviously. WWE builds towards the SummerSlam.

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If you want to see the SummerSlam, then make

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sure that you're tuning in to the WWE, which

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used to be called the WWF, but the World Wildlife

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Federation had a problem with Stone Cold Steve

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Austin, so we changed the acronym. So it's okay.

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Festival Sweet Season is in full swing. If you're

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in Kentucky, you're going to see the same 12

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people for the next six weeks. So get real excited

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about it because they never like change. It's

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fine. If you don't catch them at 1, they'll be

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at 1 the next weekend. You'll get to see them

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sometime before August. If you're going anywhere

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else in the world, everybody else who plays outside

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of Kentucky is playing at different festivals

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and fairs and venues. So just to let you know.

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All right, social media continues buzzing after

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the 4th of July celebrations. Miranda Lambert

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sang in St. Louis, Emily Ann Roberts sang in

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Nashville, and Gretchen was supposed to sing

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in Washington, but was in a tent for six hours

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because of a lightning delay. You know they made

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her sit in that tent and didn't even give her

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a funnel cake. I tell you what's the truth. I

00:09:59.230 --> 00:10:01.070
don't know what this world's coming to. New albums

00:10:01.070 --> 00:10:03.289
are dropping Friday on New Music Friday, so if

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you're keeping an eye out for those, get excited.

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Fans anticipate the College Football 27 later

00:10:06.950 --> 00:10:08.970
this week. If you're watching college football,

00:10:09.070 --> 00:10:10.350
then you know what that means. Television networks

00:10:10.350 --> 00:10:12.450
unveiled their fall previews, and now Gilmore

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Girls is available on Prime, so get real excited.

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Concert attendance remains exceptionally strong

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nationwide despite blue dot fever and the price

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of gas. That doesn't mean anything in pop culture.

00:10:21.330 --> 00:10:23.629
In weather, dangerous heat continues across the

00:10:23.629 --> 00:10:25.610
southwest. Appalachia remains in pattern of afternoon

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thunderstorms. Humidity stays high throughout

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the southeast. Flash flooding remains possible

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where storms repeatedly develop. Western wildlife

00:10:31.070 --> 00:10:34.350
continues. Our wildfire conditions remain elevated

00:10:34.350 --> 00:10:36.809
to be continued. Hurricane season remains relatively

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quiet considering what's going on. There was

00:10:38.450 --> 00:10:40.210
a super typhoon out in the Pacific. We'll check

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in with that later. Farmers continue monitoring

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the rainfall. UV levels remain very, very high

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with this heat wave. Summer travel is favorable

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in much of the Midwest, and cooler air is expected

00:10:49.129 --> 00:10:50.789
in parts of the Northeast later this week, so

00:10:50.789 --> 00:10:56.590
look forward to that. There's that. In sports...

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In case you watch them, because I don't. World

00:10:58.820 --> 00:11:01.139
Cup round of 16 continues today. As we have said

00:11:01.139 --> 00:11:02.679
three times already, they're really pushing it

00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:04.039
down my throat with the headlines this morning.

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Quarterfinal matchups are nearly set. The MLB

00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:09.000
reaches the heart of the regular season. Thank

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goodness we're still watching baseball. NFL training

00:11:11.299 --> 00:11:13.720
camps are only weeks away, friends. NASCAR prepares

00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:17.899
for another race weekend. Wimbledon continues

00:11:17.899 --> 00:11:19.779
on. College football media days are approaching.

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WNBA is still playing ball, in case you missed

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it. And Olympic hopefuls continue international

00:11:24.159 --> 00:11:27.039
competition. And if you are part of a travel

00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:28.379
ball team, you're going to be playing from now

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until September. So go ahead and get your cooler

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ready. All right. And Appalachia, the top 10.

00:11:32.919 --> 00:11:34.799
Summer tourism is remaining strong. Bluegrass

00:11:34.799 --> 00:11:37.100
festivals continue across the mountains. Farmer's

00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:39.440
markets are thriving. County fairs are opening,

00:11:39.500 --> 00:11:41.679
including Putnam County, next weekend. Appalachian

00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:43.899
Trail traffic remains heavy despite the virus

00:11:43.899 --> 00:11:46.019
outbreak. And local produce is reaching peak

00:11:46.019 --> 00:11:48.960
season. Communities continue to celebrate the

00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:51.320
America's 250th anniversary. And mountain streams

00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:53.460
remain popular for anglers. And we're in the

00:11:53.460 --> 00:11:55.779
peak of whitewater raft season. at New River

00:11:55.779 --> 00:11:57.799
Gorge in West Virginia. So, did you catch all

00:11:57.799 --> 00:12:00.059
that? Because I ain't gonna say it again. Just

00:12:00.059 --> 00:12:05.980
letting you know. Country music. Let's see, what's

00:12:05.980 --> 00:12:08.679
new in country music? Ella Langley is still dominating

00:12:08.679 --> 00:12:10.620
the radio. Jelly Roast still under investigation.

00:12:10.899 --> 00:12:12.600
Laney Wilson continues headlining major festivals.

00:12:12.679 --> 00:12:14.440
Cody Johnson remains a favorite. Independent

00:12:14.440 --> 00:12:16.299
artists continue growing online audience. And

00:12:16.299 --> 00:12:18.000
Nashville remains packed with tourist and bachelorette

00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.279
parties. Did anybody see anything? Awards season

00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:23.799
conversations are already beginning, and the

00:12:23.799 --> 00:12:25.340
Grand Ole Opry remains one of country music's

00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:27.399
busiest stages, despite the fact that it's on

00:12:27.399 --> 00:12:31.799
sale. Turns out everything has a price. On day

00:12:31.799 --> 00:12:34.120
three of my glow -up, I am down 6 .2 pounds.

00:12:34.259 --> 00:12:36.440
I went to the gym today. I walked 1 .34 miles.

00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:38.879
I read 26 pages of my book, and I did the first

00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:41.299
12 minutes in the Total Body Enhancement Red

00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:42.899
Light Therapy thing at Planet Fitness, and it

00:12:42.899 --> 00:12:44.960
shook my ass like Jerry Lee Lewis playing the

00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:46.879
piano. Took me about five minutes figuring out

00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:51.200
how to walk again. But you're keeping up. I was

00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:52.840
supposed to hit 100 grams of protein today, but

00:12:52.840 --> 00:12:54.700
I only had 26. In the farm report, there's a

00:12:54.700 --> 00:12:56.220
chicken temp. If temperatures climb into the

00:12:56.220 --> 00:12:58.480
upper 80s or 90s, collect eggs before mid -afternoon.

00:12:58.940 --> 00:13:01.139
Eggs left too long in nesting boxes can lose

00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:02.820
quality quickly in the summer heat and start

00:13:02.820 --> 00:13:05.610
incubating. So make sure that you're out there

00:13:05.610 --> 00:13:07.029
getting them eggs early. As soon as you hear

00:13:07.029 --> 00:13:08.909
the egg call, get out there and pick it up. What's

00:13:08.909 --> 00:13:10.250
Jelly under investigation for? I don't know.

00:13:10.269 --> 00:13:11.929
Check out Nicole Arbor. She's got a whole list

00:13:11.929 --> 00:13:14.509
of receipts. All right. Garden report. Your tomatoes,

00:13:14.549 --> 00:13:16.309
peppers, and squash should really begin taking

00:13:16.309 --> 00:13:17.870
off if the rabbits haven't eaten them all like

00:13:17.870 --> 00:13:19.750
they have mine by now. Check underneath tomato

00:13:19.750 --> 00:13:22.029
leaves for hornworms after you water in the evening.

00:13:22.169 --> 00:13:24.250
They're easier to spot at dusk than at midday.

00:13:25.429 --> 00:13:27.769
Your Bible verse of the day comes from Proverbs,

00:13:27.830 --> 00:13:30.029
chapter 16, verse 3, which says, Commit your

00:13:30.029 --> 00:13:31.970
work to the Lord and your plans will be established.

00:13:34.129 --> 00:13:39.649
Clue him in. He'll help you out. I told my tomatoes

00:13:39.649 --> 00:13:41.169
today they need to hurry on up. They reminded

00:13:41.169 --> 00:13:44.149
me that they are not microwave vegetables. I

00:13:44.149 --> 00:13:46.929
don't like attitude from my produce. Porridge

00:13:46.929 --> 00:13:48.750
wisdom today. You can't plant corn on Monday

00:13:48.750 --> 00:13:50.230
and complain Tuesday that nothing's growing.

00:13:50.409 --> 00:13:52.629
We talked about this yesterday. Life works the

00:13:52.629 --> 00:13:57.470
same way. Keep watering, keep praying, and keep

00:13:57.470 --> 00:13:59.309
showing up. You'll eventually see a harvest.

00:14:01.019 --> 00:14:02.899
Farmer's rule, the fence you fix today is the

00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:04.659
cow you don't have to chase down the street tomorrow.

00:14:06.100 --> 00:14:08.659
Something to remember. Your feral Christian thought,

00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:10.639
God is far more interested in your faithfulness

00:14:10.639 --> 00:14:12.980
than in your speed. Nobody gets extra credit

00:14:12.980 --> 00:14:16.000
for sprinting past his voice. This is a marathon,

00:14:16.139 --> 00:14:19.419
friends. Tie your shoes. The porch saying of

00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:21.460
the day, a peaceful porch is usually built one

00:14:21.460 --> 00:14:23.419
board, one prayer, and one hard day's work at

00:14:23.419 --> 00:14:26.240
a time. Rome wasn't built in a day. Keep that

00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:30.570
in mind. On this day in history, July the 7th

00:14:30.570 --> 00:14:33.490
in 1456, the retrial of Joan of Arc overturns

00:14:33.490 --> 00:14:36.690
her original conviction. In 1898, the United

00:14:36.690 --> 00:14:39.190
States formally annexes the Hawaiian Islands.

00:14:39.490 --> 00:14:42.570
Aloha. In 1930, construction begins on the Hoover

00:14:42.570 --> 00:14:48.429
Dam. On July 7th, 1947, reports of the Roswell

00:14:48.429 --> 00:14:50.529
incident began making national headlines as we

00:14:50.529 --> 00:14:53.590
first started lying about UFOs. In 1981, President

00:14:53.590 --> 00:14:55.649
Ronald Reagan nominates Sandra Day O 'Connor

00:14:55.649 --> 00:14:57.370
to the Supreme Court. We all know how that turned

00:14:57.370 --> 00:14:59.990
out. And in 2005, coordinated terrorist bombing

00:14:59.990 --> 00:15:02.070
struck London's public transit system on this

00:15:02.070 --> 00:15:05.409
day. So, something to think about. At least our

00:15:05.409 --> 00:15:10.049
days better than theirs was. So, history can

00:15:10.049 --> 00:15:11.549
only repeat itself so many times without it not

00:15:11.549 --> 00:15:13.750
being history's fault. Keep that in mind. Learn

00:15:13.750 --> 00:15:21.029
your lessons. The closing thought for tonight's

00:15:21.029 --> 00:15:23.029
Cigarette Mom, this mountain doesn't get climbed

00:15:23.029 --> 00:15:24.809
because somebody felt motivated every morning.

00:15:24.850 --> 00:15:26.470
It gets climbed because they laced up their boots

00:15:26.470 --> 00:15:32.950
again. And today, that's enough. So I'm glad

00:15:32.950 --> 00:15:34.330
that you're here for it. I'm glad that you're

00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:35.850
hanging out with us. If you're new to the porch,

00:15:35.990 --> 00:15:37.629
then welcome. If you're a repeat offender, then

00:15:37.629 --> 00:15:39.809
welcome back. We have shows coming up in the

00:15:39.809 --> 00:15:42.740
next... eight weeks that are all listed on SarahBethTerry

00:15:42.740 --> 00:15:46.480
.com including a couple of podcast guest appearances

00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:48.460
with some friends of ours in Bali and New Zealand.

00:15:48.580 --> 00:15:52.139
So we're super excited to be on the CultureCast

00:15:52.139 --> 00:15:54.899
podcast with Leah Steele and also on the Faith

00:15:54.899 --> 00:15:56.700
on the Fringe podcast coming up next week. So

00:15:56.700 --> 00:15:59.139
look forward to those announcements and tune

00:15:59.139 --> 00:16:00.360
in if you can because it's going to be awesome.

00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:02.240
Super excited to meet other feral Christians

00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.159
around the world. Turns out this porch is a lot

00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:10.919
bigger than I thought it was. So. My ass is still

00:16:10.919 --> 00:16:12.299
medium rare, so I don't know whether or not I

00:16:12.299 --> 00:16:13.500
should get in the tanning bed tomorrow. But I

00:16:13.500 --> 00:16:15.340
really need to if I'm going to keep up this coloring

00:16:15.340 --> 00:16:17.279
before I have my shows next weekend. Friday night,

00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.240
we are in Hurricane West Virginia on the 17th.

00:16:20.259 --> 00:16:21.899
That's next weekend, not this weekend, so look

00:16:21.899 --> 00:16:23.580
forward to that. The 17th, we're in Hurricane

00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:28.860
West Virginia at MRA Steakhouse. On the 18th,

00:16:28.860 --> 00:16:30.379
we are at Bobby G's in Huntington, West Virginia.

00:16:30.419 --> 00:16:32.519
On the 25th, we are at the 145 Roadhouse in Camden,

00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:34.639
Kentucky. August 1st, we're in the Appalachian

00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:36.700
Artist Festival in Inez, Kentucky. Then on the

00:16:36.700 --> 00:16:40.370
8th, we are in Camden, Tennessee for the... Songbird

00:16:40.370 --> 00:16:42.129
Retreat, Working Man's Retreat concert. Erica

00:16:42.129 --> 00:16:43.690
Nicole's opening for me, so if you've got your

00:16:43.690 --> 00:16:46.649
tickets, get them. On the 15th, we have a private

00:16:46.649 --> 00:16:50.870
party in Van Leer. The 22nd, we are in Sapphire,

00:16:50.889 --> 00:16:52.769
North Carolina. Those tickets are still on sale.

00:16:53.169 --> 00:16:55.830
And then that takes us up to Labor Day. So, if

00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:58.070
you want to come see me, do it. Spray tan? Hell

00:16:58.070 --> 00:16:59.850
no. I'm smoking two packs at a time. I'm not

00:16:59.850 --> 00:17:01.570
really worried about UV, but thank you so much

00:17:01.570 --> 00:17:05.450
for your concern. It's too splotchy on me, and

00:17:05.450 --> 00:17:07.650
everybody knows fat looks better tanned. I enjoyed

00:17:07.650 --> 00:17:09.490
my 15 minutes of laying there peacefully and

00:17:09.490 --> 00:17:11.170
quietly while listening to the music of my choice

00:17:11.170 --> 00:17:13.170
without my husband, my dogs, my cats, or my chickens

00:17:13.170 --> 00:17:20.630
getting in my way. You do you, baby. So, I have

00:17:20.630 --> 00:17:23.890
cried today. I have not been in a good mood today.

00:17:24.519 --> 00:17:26.500
Poor little Sean. All I wanted was barbecue ribs.

00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:28.460
And I didn't have an appetite for nothing today.

00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:30.859
Nothing. I ate a thing of yogurt and I ate a

00:17:30.859 --> 00:17:32.480
veggie tray. And I say veggie tray. It's not

00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:33.579
one of those big ones you take to the church

00:17:33.579 --> 00:17:35.000
potluck. I mean one of those little tiny ones

00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:37.000
that you put in your kid's lunchbox. I had a

00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:39.539
little tiny veggie tray. I drank four bottles

00:17:39.539 --> 00:17:41.680
of water. I took a nap. I drank two slits of

00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:43.640
an L8. And I ordered a half of a salad and went

00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:45.599
out to eat. We couldn't find anywhere that had

00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:46.960
good barbecue ribs. So if you know some place

00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:48.259
that has good barbecue ribs in the Tate's Valley

00:17:48.259 --> 00:17:49.619
region, then let me know in the next three days

00:17:49.619 --> 00:17:51.779
because I want some. I've got a craving for them.

00:17:51.920 --> 00:18:01.269
So. That's what I know. Oh, people are asking

00:18:01.269 --> 00:18:02.990
me about customized songs. Yes, I am still taking

00:18:02.990 --> 00:18:04.710
orders for custom and tailored songs. If you

00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:06.329
want me to write a song for you, specifically

00:18:06.329 --> 00:18:08.269
for you or someone that you love, please reach

00:18:08.269 --> 00:18:10.170
out on the website and hit the Book Me tab. You

00:18:10.170 --> 00:18:11.630
can put all the stuff that you need me to write

00:18:11.630 --> 00:18:12.950
that song about, and we'll talk back and forth

00:18:12.950 --> 00:18:14.730
about it, and I will get that to you within about

00:18:14.730 --> 00:18:16.990
96 hours. It usually don't take me very much

00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:19.109
to do custom songs if I know the story. I just

00:18:19.109 --> 00:18:22.509
have to make it rhyme and put it to music. So,

00:18:22.609 --> 00:18:25.210
that's what I know about that. We're in a different

00:18:25.210 --> 00:18:27.049
angle tonight. I'm sitting at my breakfast table

00:18:27.049 --> 00:18:29.250
here on the porch. And in case anybody's keeping

00:18:29.250 --> 00:18:33.710
up with my porch glow up, no one knows how unorganized

00:18:33.710 --> 00:18:37.069
I am. But now, I feel like I'm starting to get

00:18:37.069 --> 00:18:41.430
my shit together. One page at a time. So, we

00:18:41.430 --> 00:18:44.769
are on day three of my porch glow up, which means

00:18:44.769 --> 00:18:49.049
that I am 6 .2 pounds down. I'll take it. I know

00:18:49.049 --> 00:18:51.269
it's probably water weight, but it is good encouragement.

00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:58.269
Hello, Peggy C. I was having a bad day. And poor

00:18:58.269 --> 00:18:59.869
Sean. I think I made him almost have a panic

00:18:59.869 --> 00:19:01.650
attack. Because when I get upset, I don't want

00:19:01.650 --> 00:19:03.230
to do nothing. I just want to go to bed and cry.

00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:06.730
And I think I might be a little bit hungry. But

00:19:06.730 --> 00:19:09.170
I've also drank enough water today and ate enough

00:19:09.170 --> 00:19:11.890
protein that I probably just need to drink more

00:19:11.890 --> 00:19:16.470
water. I'm trying. Okay? And my hair ain't doing

00:19:16.470 --> 00:19:18.569
a flipping thing. I had it curly and it was cute.

00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:21.009
Now it's just not doing nothing. It's just getting

00:19:21.009 --> 00:19:25.109
fuzzier as the night goes on. Freaks, you have

00:19:25.109 --> 00:19:27.569
to be in a tanning bed because you watch Final

00:19:27.569 --> 00:19:30.809
Destination too many times. Just kidding. Some

00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:32.710
people get claustrophobic in a tanning bed. I

00:19:32.710 --> 00:19:36.369
do not. I am more pissed off about my back touching

00:19:36.369 --> 00:19:39.190
a cold tanning bed. I'm like, used to when I

00:19:39.190 --> 00:19:40.529
used to live in my house, I used to call Tammy

00:19:40.529 --> 00:19:41.990
down at the shop and I'd say, turn on that tanning

00:19:41.990 --> 00:19:43.329
bed for about 10 minutes. I'm gonna walk down

00:19:43.329 --> 00:19:45.029
there and tan it. And then it was warm by the

00:19:45.029 --> 00:19:46.430
time I got into it and I didn't have to worry

00:19:46.430 --> 00:19:48.049
about laying down on a cold tanning bed. I don't

00:19:48.049 --> 00:19:50.170
know why I'm such a pussy about that stuff. Cold

00:19:50.170 --> 00:19:51.730
water, cold tanning beds, laying down on something

00:19:51.730 --> 00:19:55.170
cold, I'm like... Can't say much, though. My

00:19:55.170 --> 00:19:57.069
papa would go to Florida every single year, stand

00:19:57.069 --> 00:19:58.970
ankle -deep in the ocean, and shake like a leaf

00:19:58.970 --> 00:20:00.730
because he was scared to death of water. I don't

00:20:00.730 --> 00:20:02.329
know why he kept taking people to Florida. Maybe

00:20:02.329 --> 00:20:04.509
because Mom liked it. I don't know. He was a

00:20:04.509 --> 00:20:12.450
good dad. So... Stephanie, I will check. I will

00:20:12.450 --> 00:20:14.950
check the email right now, and if not, then we'll

00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:17.410
text each other and figure it out. Sometimes

00:20:17.410 --> 00:20:20.569
my... Email does weird things and sends it to

00:20:20.569 --> 00:20:22.490
places that I can't find it. I don't know. My

00:20:22.490 --> 00:20:23.950
update on my phone the other day has screwed

00:20:23.950 --> 00:20:26.609
everything up. I gotta quit putting it on the

00:20:26.609 --> 00:20:28.109
automatic update because I don't know what's

00:20:28.109 --> 00:20:31.049
going on. And then once I get to where I need

00:20:31.049 --> 00:20:34.829
to be and I'm like, where's that email? You can't

00:20:34.829 --> 00:20:39.750
find it from here. So, you know. I'm trying to

00:20:39.750 --> 00:20:42.549
change my frame of mind and also work on my...

00:20:43.069 --> 00:20:45.549
my spiritual health and my mental health while

00:20:45.549 --> 00:20:47.750
I'm working on my physical health because they

00:20:47.750 --> 00:20:50.609
do go hand in hand. You can't look good and have

00:20:50.609 --> 00:20:52.089
a bad attitude. You can't have a good attitude

00:20:52.089 --> 00:20:56.089
and a big ass. I'm trying to even it out. And

00:20:56.089 --> 00:20:57.650
I'm praying that the Lord keeps me on the path

00:20:57.650 --> 00:20:59.670
that I need to be on instead of absolutely breaking

00:20:59.670 --> 00:21:01.710
red on somebody who looks me cross -eyed. Did

00:21:01.710 --> 00:21:03.049
you know that yesterday at the Walmart when I

00:21:03.049 --> 00:21:04.529
was there to get protein and cottage cheese,

00:21:04.710 --> 00:21:06.990
there was everybody who's ever been on a rascal

00:21:06.990 --> 00:21:11.250
on a rascal. I was in the vitamin aisle looking

00:21:11.250 --> 00:21:13.470
for magnesium. That's all I was looking for,

00:21:13.529 --> 00:21:15.670
just a little magnesium, and they put it in a

00:21:15.670 --> 00:21:17.630
different place, so I was looking. Well, I had

00:21:17.630 --> 00:21:19.569
my little cart, had a little blue T -shirt, little

00:21:19.569 --> 00:21:23.910
black yoga pants. This woman and one of them

00:21:23.910 --> 00:21:26.190
little rascals that they have at Walmart come

00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:28.289
rolling up to me, and she goes, where's the bio

00:21:28.289 --> 00:21:33.710
-freeze? I said, I don't know. Probably around

00:21:33.710 --> 00:21:35.309
here somewhere. We're in the pharmacy, I would

00:21:35.309 --> 00:21:37.210
say. It's probably not hard to find. Probably

00:21:37.210 --> 00:21:39.769
sitting right by the Bengay. She goes, well,

00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:42.589
where's that at? I said, I don't know. She goes,

00:21:42.609 --> 00:21:44.609
why do you even work here? And I was like, I

00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:47.650
don't. I just have on a blue t -shirt that says

00:21:47.650 --> 00:21:51.549
Bob Evans. Don't work here. You'd think I would,

00:21:51.549 --> 00:21:54.809
considering I have to check myself out, stalk

00:21:54.809 --> 00:22:00.210
my own shit, pave my own way, pluck my own chickens.

00:22:00.589 --> 00:22:03.589
But no, I don't work here. So then I was down

00:22:03.589 --> 00:22:06.549
an aisle in the grocery side, and another man

00:22:06.549 --> 00:22:09.150
and a rascal. plenty of room in the aisle for

00:22:09.150 --> 00:22:11.450
both of us to get by i scooted way over against

00:22:11.450 --> 00:22:14.170
the bread and he said anytime you're ready and

00:22:14.170 --> 00:22:18.410
i was like four he goes well you're in my way

00:22:18.410 --> 00:22:20.789
i was like well by all means get all 18 wheels

00:22:20.789 --> 00:22:22.650
in there cletus i didn't know that i was blocking

00:22:22.650 --> 00:22:25.349
the road then i go back to the dairy section

00:22:25.349 --> 00:22:27.529
to get me uh you know they sell cottage cheese

00:22:27.529 --> 00:22:29.430
and a little like yogurt packs now so you don't

00:22:29.430 --> 00:22:30.650
have to have the whole table cottage cheese if

00:22:30.650 --> 00:22:31.869
you just feel like a little cottage cheese you

00:22:31.869 --> 00:22:35.700
could just have some And this woman ran right

00:22:35.700 --> 00:22:37.180
up on me on her rascal, and I was like, you've

00:22:37.180 --> 00:22:38.759
got to be kidding me today. Everybody needs a

00:22:38.759 --> 00:22:40.079
driver's license before they get on these damn

00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:41.839
things, because I'm going to end up with no toes.

00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:45.180
I'm going to hobble back to the car. So I'm standing

00:22:45.180 --> 00:22:46.700
there, and I spit my stuff in my cart, and some

00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:48.319
woman went, why are you getting that? I went,

00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:52.759
what? She goes, why are you getting self -serve

00:22:52.759 --> 00:22:56.160
size cottage cheese when it's cheaper by the

00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:58.740
tub? I said, oh, I'm getting it because it's

00:22:58.740 --> 00:23:01.960
none of your fucking business. Can I help you?

00:23:03.360 --> 00:23:05.660
God, I've never seen the stupidity like I have

00:23:05.660 --> 00:23:07.099
at the Hurricane Walmart. And I swore I'd never

00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:08.460
go back again, but that was the only place I

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:11.019
had my protein, because GNC was closed. So, you

00:23:11.019 --> 00:23:12.440
know, you do what you have to do in a small town.

00:23:12.539 --> 00:23:15.000
But at the same time, I'm like, why is everybody...

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:16.559
And then it dawned on me as I was walking out

00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:20.460
the door, why is everybody here on Rascals? And

00:23:20.460 --> 00:23:22.599
I thought, oh, Sarah, it's the first of the month

00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:24.900
that everybody got their check. That's why they're

00:23:24.900 --> 00:23:28.400
at Walmart. Stupid. We had a holiday this weekend.

00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:32.089
Everybody's benefits, Medicaid, Medicare. Social

00:23:32.089 --> 00:23:34.109
Security got pushed off a couple days, I forgot.

00:23:35.430 --> 00:23:38.069
And then after I checked myself out, under the

00:23:38.069 --> 00:23:40.910
scrutiny of three people that could have rented

00:23:40.910 --> 00:23:42.609
a cashier's stand, but instead stood there with

00:23:42.609 --> 00:23:44.230
their finger up there, and I was going, Hey,

00:23:44.289 --> 00:23:47.650
did you ring that up? Yes, I had the little gun.

00:23:47.950 --> 00:23:51.130
It beeped. So then I get all the way to the door,

00:23:51.150 --> 00:23:52.329
and someone goes, I'm gonna need your receipt.

00:23:52.630 --> 00:23:57.170
And I was like, No. Not today. So I just kept

00:23:57.170 --> 00:23:58.750
going and she chased me all the way out in the

00:23:58.750 --> 00:24:00.190
parking lot. She said, what if you're stealing

00:24:00.190 --> 00:24:01.930
them Gatorades? I said, I'm already in the parking

00:24:01.930 --> 00:24:03.250
lot, Brenda. What the hell are you going to do

00:24:03.250 --> 00:24:08.390
about it? Call the popo. God. If I was stealing

00:24:08.390 --> 00:24:10.250
a big screen TV, I could walk out there without

00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:11.609
you looking at me twice. But now because I've

00:24:11.609 --> 00:24:13.390
got Gatorades and milk out of the bag, now you

00:24:13.390 --> 00:24:15.490
have to question me like the Spanish Inquisition.

00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:21.410
I don't have enough estrogen to deal with this.

00:24:22.730 --> 00:24:24.450
I don't have enough marijuana to deal with this.

00:24:24.529 --> 00:24:26.690
I don't have enough patience to deal with this.

00:24:27.529 --> 00:24:29.910
And then I have to think to myself, if you put

00:24:29.910 --> 00:24:32.190
my week on mute, could you still tell that I

00:24:32.190 --> 00:24:34.269
was following Jesus? Because right now, I think

00:24:34.269 --> 00:24:36.269
by the look on my face, you probably think that

00:24:36.269 --> 00:24:38.650
I was the devil. So I have to work on that because

00:24:38.650 --> 00:24:42.140
I got that active bitch face. But I'm telling

00:24:42.140 --> 00:24:44.200
you what's the damn truth. I've never seen the

00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:46.420
lack of can't -do -nothing -for -themselves.

00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:48.099
This person was driving around in a rascal all

00:24:48.099 --> 00:24:49.700
damn day, and then I watched her get up on her

00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:51.700
tippy -toes and get a thing of Pop -Tarts off

00:24:51.700 --> 00:24:54.200
the top shelf. That's like, Helen, don't think

00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:56.299
you need to be on that rascal. Think you need

00:24:56.299 --> 00:25:03.299
to be walking off some of them calories. It's

00:25:03.299 --> 00:25:06.000
like my ex -mother -in -law. Weighed every bit

00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:07.799
of 600 pounds, you tell her to haul ass and take

00:25:07.799 --> 00:25:10.099
her three trips, and she'd go, it's glandular.

00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:11.819
I'm like, no, it's you eating a gallon of ice

00:25:11.819 --> 00:25:14.940
cream at the dinner table for breakfast, Linda.

00:25:16.819 --> 00:25:28.160
It's just glandular. Okay. Bless it. So that's

00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:29.940
the kind of day that I've had, considering that

00:25:29.940 --> 00:25:31.319
everything was stacked against me, including

00:25:31.319 --> 00:25:33.079
the planets were in alignment. And, you know,

00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:34.839
there was probably another full moon because

00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:37.059
now we have two of them. And, you know, Mercury's

00:25:37.059 --> 00:25:41.440
in retrograde and whatever. You can make all

00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:43.099
the excuses that you want. Sometimes people are

00:25:43.099 --> 00:25:46.779
just stupid and they get in your way. And that's

00:25:46.779 --> 00:25:49.279
a chance to either practice patience or practice

00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:53.259
your really swift rebuttals. that will just lacerate

00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:55.200
them. Like my mother always said, the definition

00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:56.779
of tact is telling somebody to go straight to

00:25:56.779 --> 00:26:02.619
hell and then look forward to the trip. Speaking

00:26:02.619 --> 00:26:04.220
of Leo, I was just talking about you, sister.

00:26:04.359 --> 00:26:07.920
Our Bali sister is on the porch early this morning.

00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:10.200
It's like 10 a .m. where you are. Lord, it's

00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:14.500
almost lunch. I'm so excited to be on your podcast

00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:16.279
next week. I was just talking about it. And so

00:26:16.279 --> 00:26:18.779
as soon as you get those advertisements done,

00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:20.960
I will share them with all my people on the porch

00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:23.599
so that they can tune in too. Super excited about

00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.220
it. And then when we finally get together and

00:26:26.220 --> 00:26:27.759
we'll get her on the porch for Feral Christian

00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:29.740
slash Cigarette Mom. You don't have to smoke

00:26:29.740 --> 00:26:31.440
to be on Cigarette Mom. You just have to not

00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:37.960
bitch because I am. Because it's my porch. I

00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:40.539
won't smoke on your porch if you don't want me

00:26:40.539 --> 00:26:46.940
to. That's just manners. So, Sean Durland is

00:26:46.940 --> 00:26:49.579
in there vacuuming and working on clips. Bless

00:26:49.579 --> 00:26:51.519
its heart. I have not been easy to live with

00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:55.140
today or any other day, honestly. But today was

00:26:55.140 --> 00:26:58.279
worse. Rick said, is she like this in real life?

00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:00.680
Yeah. It's worse in real life because I'm mobile.

00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:07.220
I'm taking this show on the road. Hey, girl.

00:27:07.319 --> 00:27:14.109
Hey. Hello, Brandy. Hello. Is it C? They forced.

00:27:14.390 --> 00:27:18.130
Not they forced. They forced. That's one of them

00:27:18.130 --> 00:27:20.569
King James words. They, thou, this, those, us.

00:27:22.009 --> 00:27:27.390
Are you sure you want me on your podcast, Leah?

00:27:27.430 --> 00:27:28.750
Because I'm like this all the time. And this

00:27:28.750 --> 00:27:30.829
is me without caffeine, sugar, or marijuana today.

00:27:31.049 --> 00:27:34.470
This is just raw dogging it. Would have been

00:27:34.470 --> 00:27:36.859
better if I had some barbecue ribs. She said

00:27:36.859 --> 00:27:37.900
she'd smoke a cigarette with me on the porch.

00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:39.500
Hell, yes, she will. I even roll you around if

00:27:39.500 --> 00:27:41.259
you want to. I'll make you a cheese ball. Praise

00:27:41.259 --> 00:27:42.700
the Lord and pass the ammunition. And don't steal

00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:45.140
my lighter. Gone. I told you about that, right?

00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:46.700
Went all the way to the Charlie Kirk funeral

00:27:46.700 --> 00:27:49.579
in Arizona on September 21st. All the way there.

00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:51.859
Before I left, I took my dogs to my mom and dad's

00:27:51.859 --> 00:27:54.640
in Irving, Kentucky. Bye. Love you. Mean it.

00:27:54.700 --> 00:27:57.900
Send you pictures. Cut. All the way to Arizona.

00:27:59.140 --> 00:28:01.240
Passed through Chicago. No phone calls. Passed

00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:04.140
through Phoenix. No phone calls. Soon as I get

00:28:04.140 --> 00:28:06.220
to the funeral, my dad texts me and says, Did

00:28:06.220 --> 00:28:12.000
you steal my damn ladder? Sean went. I was like,

00:28:12.019 --> 00:28:14.059
not. How was your trip? Or did y 'all make it?

00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:18.740
Or how's the way? Where's my ladder? That's my

00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:25.700
dad. That's how he shows love. It's like Dolly

00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:27.160
Parton always says, the best way to forget about

00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:28.660
your problems is to listen to somebody else's

00:28:28.660 --> 00:28:31.500
for a while, so I'm doing what I can. I don't

00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:32.940
really have big problems other than the fact

00:28:32.940 --> 00:28:36.069
that I'm... I'm hungry. I'm angry. I'm fat. I'm

00:28:36.069 --> 00:28:42.809
tired. I'm old. I'm underpaid. Overworked. Other

00:28:42.809 --> 00:28:51.950
than that, things are peachy. Just had a downpour

00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:54.089
in East Tennessee. Well, brag a little bit, why

00:28:54.089 --> 00:28:56.869
don't you? And if you're in East Tennessee, there's

00:28:56.869 --> 00:28:58.049
no reason why you can't come to Western North

00:28:58.049 --> 00:29:00.490
Carolina for my show on August 22nd. So, Mr.

00:29:00.569 --> 00:29:04.059
Forrest, get on my website and... Buy some tickets.

00:29:04.259 --> 00:29:07.740
Bring a date. Miranda said, I won't steal your

00:29:07.740 --> 00:29:09.319
lot. I'll bring another. I'm gonna hold you to

00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:13.500
that. You don't smoke in your car if someone

00:29:13.500 --> 00:29:16.000
doesn't. You understand some ass has to smoke

00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:17.339
with you for you to smoke? Because that just

00:29:17.339 --> 00:29:19.660
creates that when you roll the windows down.

00:29:19.900 --> 00:29:22.359
It's my car. If you don't want to smoke, hang

00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:23.720
your head out the window. I don't know, date.

00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:31.859
Anyway. So, that's what I've been thinking about

00:29:31.859 --> 00:29:34.819
today. Just trying to get my head in the game.

00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:40.519
We're still here for it. It's a Tuesday. We're

00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:43.240
here. We're here for it. And we're on the porch.

00:29:43.380 --> 00:29:46.299
The power of the porch is very powerful. And

00:29:46.299 --> 00:29:47.660
it's like I was telling Leah the other day. She

00:29:47.660 --> 00:29:48.900
was like, what time do you go live? I was like,

00:29:48.960 --> 00:29:52.559
whenever I feel like it. I like to make sure

00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:55.039
that there's always somebody on the porch. And

00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:56.579
she goes, well, we're in Bali. We've got a friend

00:29:56.579 --> 00:29:58.059
in New Zealand. And all of us are on different

00:29:58.059 --> 00:30:00.859
time zones. I said, this is perfect. There's

00:30:00.859 --> 00:30:03.500
always somebody on the porch. So if I'm asleep,

00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:05.599
that means that she's up because it's 12 hours

00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:07.019
away from us. And I told her, I said, do not

00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:08.480
tell me what happens. I know you're 12 hours

00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.799
ahead, but I won't be surprised. Unless it's

00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:12.339
something bad, then just call me and say, run!

00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:19.779
I'd like to roll back to my age. Lord, I'm staring

00:30:19.779 --> 00:30:22.420
43 in the barrel and I feel like I'm 95. My granny

00:30:22.420 --> 00:30:24.700
is 87 years old and has more energy than I do.

00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:31.670
But then again, she's not premenopausal. It's

00:30:31.670 --> 00:30:33.630
going to be in Sapphire, North Carolina, the

00:30:33.630 --> 00:30:36.410
22nd day of August. Right across the mountain

00:30:36.410 --> 00:30:38.269
from you. And those tickets are on my website

00:30:38.269 --> 00:30:40.750
right now. It's a very limited seating venue.

00:30:40.930 --> 00:30:42.730
So if you ain't got tickets, get them quick because

00:30:42.730 --> 00:30:47.269
they'll go. Juan, is that how you say your name?

00:30:47.369 --> 00:30:49.009
Of course. I'd love to share stories in herb.

00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:51.029
Tell me when and where. You can book me for a

00:30:51.029 --> 00:30:52.670
private party and we'll just do this. Somebody

00:30:52.670 --> 00:30:54.390
asked me if I did private porch sessions. I was

00:30:54.390 --> 00:30:56.990
like, sure. If you want me to sit on the porch

00:30:56.990 --> 00:30:59.819
with you and visit, I can do that too. There's

00:30:59.819 --> 00:31:03.960
always somebody on the porch. Rick, do you remember

00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:05.440
the days when our parents used to send us to

00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:06.900
the store with a note so we could get them their

00:31:06.900 --> 00:31:10.299
cigarettes? Please give Sarah two packs of Marlboro

00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:13.500
Mentholots. And I could keep the change. And

00:31:13.500 --> 00:31:14.819
normally I could go in there with a $10 bill,

00:31:15.019 --> 00:31:17.039
get two packs of cigarettes, a six pack of L

00:31:17.039 --> 00:31:18.460
.A. and two candy bars, and still have two or

00:31:18.460 --> 00:31:19.859
three dollars to put in my piggy bank. But no

00:31:19.859 --> 00:31:21.880
more. Not unless you're smoking cowboy cuts and

00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:25.480
eating that cheap old cow tail stuff. It's not

00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:30.299
candy. It's glue. Why is it that all old people

00:31:30.299 --> 00:31:32.740
have the red? No, it's not red. It's orange and

00:31:32.740 --> 00:31:35.579
black peanut butter hard as rocks candy from

00:31:35.579 --> 00:31:37.500
the big lot somewhere in some kind of crystal

00:31:37.500 --> 00:31:39.720
candy dish in their house along with probably

00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:42.440
two or three drops of Werther's Original and

00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:45.980
a peppermint that's got fuzz on it. Is that like

00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:48.539
the starter pack for grandma's candy dish? Does

00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:49.980
she not know where the candy aisle is at the

00:31:49.980 --> 00:31:51.420
Walmart? Because I walk through it every single

00:31:51.420 --> 00:31:53.000
time and get me a Hershey bar because I eat one

00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:54.299
square at a time before I go to bed and that

00:31:54.299 --> 00:31:58.980
makes me feel better about myself. Just saying.

00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:03.720
I'm telling you, friends. Oh, thank you for loving

00:32:03.720 --> 00:32:06.599
me in North Carolina. Premenopause is not fun.

00:32:06.839 --> 00:32:08.119
I'm telling you, Jacqueline, I'm going to call

00:32:08.119 --> 00:32:10.019
it cougar puberty, and I'm taking questions about

00:32:10.019 --> 00:32:11.559
that. I'm growing hair in weird places. I'm hot

00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:13.200
all the time, and I have humidities. I don't

00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:16.259
know why it's not called cougar puberty. Hello?

00:32:17.579 --> 00:32:19.400
Floana's in Southeast Texas. Are you down there

00:32:19.400 --> 00:32:22.079
by the carcinogenic coast? Carcinogenic coast.

00:32:22.140 --> 00:32:25.930
Can't talk. Houston. Kima. Galveston. Where you

00:32:25.930 --> 00:32:28.269
at in Southeast Texas? Because my sister -in

00:32:28.269 --> 00:32:30.190
-law's also from the Southeast. She's from Shepard.

00:32:30.970 --> 00:32:36.809
Represent. Hey, from Australia. What's going

00:32:36.809 --> 00:32:38.910
on, Megs? Hey, listen, you need to meet Carrie

00:32:38.910 --> 00:32:41.710
Ann, who's also in Australia. I know it's a big

00:32:41.710 --> 00:32:47.089
country, but stranger things have happened. Megs

00:32:47.089 --> 00:32:48.309
always says better late than never. I always

00:32:48.309 --> 00:32:50.269
say better late than pregnant, but that's just

00:32:50.269 --> 00:32:52.250
me. I dropped my damn lighter, and now I gotta

00:32:52.250 --> 00:32:55.839
pick it up with my toes. Thank goodness that

00:32:55.839 --> 00:33:00.900
I am pettidextrous. Do you like that word? I'm

00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.700
pettidextrous, which means I can do shit with

00:33:02.700 --> 00:33:05.200
my feet. I'm also aquadextrous. You know what

00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.380
aquadextrous means? No, it does not mean that

00:33:07.380 --> 00:33:08.880
you can ride underwater. It means that you can

00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:10.500
turn off the faucet with your toe while you're

00:33:10.500 --> 00:33:14.500
laying in the bathtub. Aquadextrous. That's some

00:33:14.500 --> 00:33:16.299
nasty candy. Rachel has status. I understand

00:33:16.299 --> 00:33:18.759
that completely. What's up with my grandmother

00:33:18.759 --> 00:33:21.500
always buying them stupid Palmer chocolate bunnies

00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.460
every year? I'm like, do you not know where the

00:33:23.460 --> 00:33:25.240
Cadbury eggs are? I can show you where to buy

00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:26.839
them. I just want one of them. I don't even need

00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:28.400
all this stuff. I just want one Cadbury egg.

00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:32.700
No. Some nasty peanut butter Palmer eggs. That

00:33:32.700 --> 00:33:36.420
ain't candy. That's crap that they scrape off

00:33:36.420 --> 00:33:38.400
the floor at real candy factories and they put

00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:40.259
tinfoil on it and make it look like a rabbit.

00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:46.339
Tana thought that menopause was going to kill

00:33:46.339 --> 00:33:48.019
you. Well, it's either going to kill me or my

00:33:48.019 --> 00:33:50.619
husband. Those things could go hand in hand.

00:33:51.579 --> 00:33:54.539
Kimberly just turned 61 last month. Oh, she's

00:33:54.539 --> 00:33:56.359
been following us for a few years. You do remember

00:33:56.359 --> 00:33:58.079
Gus Gus the squirrel. That's back before I had

00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:00.400
the first breakdown when I was still married

00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:02.319
to my first husband living in Munfordville and

00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:06.160
had a mohawk and a squirrel. My, how things have

00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:08.440
changed in just a short amount of time. If you

00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:10.159
can't look at where I was five years ago, ten

00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:12.480
years ago, twelve years ago, six months ago and

00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:16.380
go, she's different. I'm doing the best I can.

00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:18.440
Sometimes it's leaps and bounds. Sometimes it's

00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:22.139
baby sticks. All progress is progress. Betty

00:34:22.139 --> 00:34:23.820
Gale is north of Beaumont. Well, good to see

00:34:23.820 --> 00:34:25.340
you. I used to go to Viter to the Walmart because

00:34:25.340 --> 00:34:26.860
they had better stuff than the one in Derrida,

00:34:26.920 --> 00:34:28.860
Louisiana. So, I know exactly where you are.

00:34:29.019 --> 00:34:37.179
Why can't I scoot up? Hello in Monticello, Kentucky.

00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:39.179
One of my favorite places to drive through on

00:34:39.179 --> 00:34:41.559
my way to the 127 yard sale. I always stop by

00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:44.409
that. One little story. I don't know how to say

00:34:44.409 --> 00:34:47.750
that. My buddy Brian Denny was from myself. Anyway.

00:34:48.889 --> 00:34:54.650
Hello from the show me stage. Hello. Emma Joyce

00:34:54.650 --> 00:34:56.730
is having her last blunt of the, I hope of the

00:34:56.730 --> 00:34:59.309
night and not of your life because there's a

00:34:59.309 --> 00:35:00.789
better way to do that. You should be watching

00:35:00.789 --> 00:35:02.389
Cartoon Network and eating Cheetos if this is

00:35:02.389 --> 00:35:04.889
your last one ever. Go out with a bang, you know.

00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:08.079
New subscriber from North Carolina. Hello, Valerie.

00:35:08.139 --> 00:35:09.460
Welcome to the porch. We're glad to have you.

00:35:09.500 --> 00:35:11.039
That's all you want, Stephanie, is Cadbury eggs.

00:35:11.139 --> 00:35:13.019
Guess what? They sell them on Amazon year -round.

00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:14.940
I know that because I bought 24 of them for myself

00:35:14.940 --> 00:35:16.619
for Christmas and put them in my stocking. Don't

00:35:16.619 --> 00:35:18.559
get me started. Being an adult means you can

00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:19.980
do whatever you want to, and nobody realizes

00:35:19.980 --> 00:35:23.440
that kind of freedom. If I want a Cadbury egg

00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:26.000
in July, guess what? Amazon. I can get them.

00:35:26.059 --> 00:35:29.880
It's not a big deal. How long have you had the

00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:31.860
porch Facebook? I have always sat on my porch

00:35:31.860 --> 00:35:33.300
and bitched as long as there's been a Facebook.

00:35:33.300 --> 00:35:34.679
As far as cigarette mom, we've been doing it

00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:36.719
about 18 months. Been a little more organized

00:35:36.719 --> 00:35:38.340
with it. Now we're doing the website and the

00:35:38.340 --> 00:35:42.760
RSS and the podcast and whatnot. But I've always

00:35:42.760 --> 00:35:44.300
sat on the porch and told everybody what I think.

00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:47.960
Now I just have a bigger audience. Funny how

00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:52.800
that works. Pat's in from South Carolina. Hello.

00:35:53.019 --> 00:35:55.139
Heather's watching from Garfield, Georgia. Good

00:35:55.139 --> 00:36:00.900
to see you. Hello, Texas. Glad you're here. We

00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:02.579
need to get out our map and start coloring in

00:36:02.579 --> 00:36:04.360
again. We ain't done that in a couple weeks.

00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:09.519
I know where Biter is. Can you stand it? They

00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:10.960
still have that good Italian restaurant there

00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:15.679
too. I used to go there all the time. Northeast

00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:17.440
Florida. Get real excited. We're going to be

00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:19.260
in Perry, Florida in October. So if you get to

00:36:19.260 --> 00:36:21.159
come to that show, then let us know. Central

00:36:21.159 --> 00:36:22.539
Pennsylvania. Missy, you know that you can still

00:36:22.539 --> 00:36:23.880
have me for a concert. It wouldn't cost you that

00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:26.420
much to just call me. Caramel eggs. I don't know

00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:28.039
about all that brandy. I like the original. It's

00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:31.099
like L8s. Quit putting shit in it. I get people

00:36:31.099 --> 00:36:33.719
like the caramel. I don't like the Halloween

00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:37.940
ones. That's weird. You know, every now and again,

00:36:38.019 --> 00:36:39.440
I'll get the little baby ones if I just want

00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:43.940
like a taste of a cat for you. You live in Shepherd?

00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:45.639
That's where my sister -in -law's from. Jason,

00:36:45.699 --> 00:36:47.539
I know exactly where you are. We played there

00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:53.019
at the 4 -H fair one year. We need to do another

00:36:53.019 --> 00:36:55.659
map. If Sean was watching right now, which maybe

00:36:55.659 --> 00:37:01.159
he is, maybe I could text him. Maybe I could

00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:03.079
just print it out myself. Hang on. Can we do

00:37:03.079 --> 00:37:04.800
this while we're here? It'd be awesome if we

00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:06.389
could do this at the same time. Because I do

00:37:06.389 --> 00:37:08.969
have new crayons. Don't get me started. I've

00:37:08.969 --> 00:37:14.289
got a whole box of crayons. Print. Oh, you can?

00:37:14.570 --> 00:37:17.909
Well, hot dad burn. I know you could do that

00:37:17.909 --> 00:37:20.670
from my phone. I'm telling you I'm learning something

00:37:20.670 --> 00:37:27.449
new every day. It's exciting. It's super exciting.

00:37:28.829 --> 00:37:34.989
Yes. That's what I want. Got it. Let's do it.

00:37:38.359 --> 00:37:43.780
I figured might as well. We're here for it. I

00:37:43.780 --> 00:37:49.460
said print. Didn't I say print? Oh, no. Printer

00:37:49.460 --> 00:37:51.559
selected. See, I didn't know you had it. I thought

00:37:51.559 --> 00:37:56.719
we only had one printer. I'm too far from the

00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:59.440
printer. Hang on. Let me ask Sean if he'll send

00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:01.880
this out real quick. Print this out for me real

00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:09.159
quick. That's all we have. Now I have to tell

00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:17.539
him I've texted him. Hang on. Sean, darling.

00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:21.280
That picture I just sent you, would you print

00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:23.840
that out for me and bring it to me? Thank you.

00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:30.679
See? Now time to check his phone. And we'll get

00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:32.460
some app. Start writing where people are from.

00:38:33.460 --> 00:38:36.420
Roll call. You can buy Cadbury eggs on Amazon.

00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:43.400
Trust me, I've done it a couple of times. Don't

00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:46.059
ask me how I know. You live two hours away from

00:38:46.059 --> 00:38:49.019
Hershey, brag a little bit. Do they have a chocolate

00:38:49.019 --> 00:38:52.800
fountain? I want to get in it. Florence, Alabama.

00:38:52.900 --> 00:38:54.599
Been there plenty of times. Played in Sheffield

00:38:54.599 --> 00:38:57.860
quite a bit and had a publishing deal down in

00:38:57.860 --> 00:39:01.059
the shelves with a group for a while. So, I love

00:39:01.059 --> 00:39:06.730
that area of Alabama. Melissa's like, Sean Courtney,

00:39:06.769 --> 00:39:11.190
bring SBTM out. Doing it. He's printed out. You

00:39:11.190 --> 00:39:12.909
have to wait. He's not going to draw a map of

00:39:12.909 --> 00:39:15.230
all 50 states. He has to print it out so I can

00:39:15.230 --> 00:39:24.210
color it. Hello? Hello? I need a new book. Hang

00:39:24.210 --> 00:39:28.769
on. So we can keep track of everybody's phone.

00:39:29.090 --> 00:39:34.980
I like to write them. Otherwise, you know. What

00:39:34.980 --> 00:39:36.880
good is it going to do us? We don't know where

00:39:36.880 --> 00:39:39.619
everybody's at. He's bringing it to me, though,

00:39:39.659 --> 00:39:45.619
so we'll just visit in the meantime. So, anybody

00:39:45.619 --> 00:39:47.579
have anything cool to report for a Tuesday other

00:39:47.579 --> 00:39:53.199
than it was hot and just a Tuesday? You're telling

00:39:53.199 --> 00:39:57.739
me all these places and I don't have the... Might

00:39:57.739 --> 00:40:02.719
start writing this stuff down. He's bringing

00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:05.809
it. It just takes a second. That's what we do.

00:40:06.610 --> 00:40:09.150
So, I have started a new skincare regimen with

00:40:09.150 --> 00:40:10.670
all the shit that I found on the Dollar Tree

00:40:10.670 --> 00:40:13.929
that was a TikTok hack. So, I have noticed that

00:40:13.929 --> 00:40:16.170
this is not as fat and I'm not getting that puffy

00:40:16.170 --> 00:40:17.429
right here. Maybe it's because I'm not doing

00:40:17.429 --> 00:40:19.130
as much slop and I'm drinking more water. But

00:40:19.130 --> 00:40:20.929
anyway, my face is skinnier than it was day before

00:40:20.929 --> 00:40:24.869
yesterday, so I'm tickled with it. Could be worse.

00:40:25.090 --> 00:40:27.369
Could always be worse. Brandy's opening a bakery.

00:40:27.590 --> 00:40:30.909
Where at? We'll all come. Hi from Kansas. Hello,

00:40:30.989 --> 00:40:32.190
Sherry. You're all going to have to say these

00:40:32.190 --> 00:40:33.570
again once we get them out because I ain't writing

00:40:33.570 --> 00:40:37.420
none of this down just yet. She grabs down the

00:40:37.420 --> 00:40:44.360
porch till we get a mat. We'll see when old Magellan

00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:54.380
comes out with one. Where you at, my man? How

00:40:54.380 --> 00:40:59.059
far am I away from the Memphis area? About eight

00:40:59.059 --> 00:41:03.079
and a half, nine hours. Give or take. Ashley

00:41:03.079 --> 00:41:05.320
got all of her debt paid off today. Mazel Tov.

00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:07.280
Congratulations, and God bless you. That's an

00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:10.019
awesome feeling. Bowling Green, Kentucky. Hey,

00:41:10.099 --> 00:41:11.960
listen here. I like Bowling Green very, very

00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:14.860
well. Good to see you. Bridge City, Texas. Dalton,

00:41:14.920 --> 00:41:17.219
Georgia, but not from there, okay? That's like

00:41:17.219 --> 00:41:19.380
me. I'm in Hurricane West Virginia area, and

00:41:19.380 --> 00:41:22.119
I'm not from here at all. I'm not even here most

00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:23.440
of the time. I'm just here long enough to do

00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:26.420
porch stuff, and then I'm back on the road. Let's

00:41:26.420 --> 00:41:29.619
see. The big boy train came through your town

00:41:29.619 --> 00:41:31.440
today. That is awesome, Loretta. Congratulations.

00:41:32.879 --> 00:41:35.360
Betty was late for work. Well, they can't eat

00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:37.000
you. And if you're going to be a little bit late,

00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:38.320
might as well be a lot late. No sense rushing.

00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:42.340
Fairfield Bay, Arkansas. Hello. That's where

00:41:42.340 --> 00:41:45.079
the bakery's going to be in Arkansas. So let's

00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:48.119
get there. Congratulations. Thank you, Judy,

00:41:48.239 --> 00:41:49.500
for saying that I was looking pretty. Because

00:41:49.500 --> 00:41:51.019
I sure don't feel it today. But I sure appreciate

00:41:51.019 --> 00:41:55.030
you saying that. Krista is getting sober, so

00:41:55.030 --> 00:41:57.909
fighting the temptation. Listen, I am praying

00:41:57.909 --> 00:42:00.010
for you on that, Krista. It's not easy. Me and

00:42:00.010 --> 00:42:02.309
my husband got sober two years ago, last January.

00:42:02.349 --> 00:42:04.449
Now, we quit drinking for good. Now, I say we

00:42:04.449 --> 00:42:07.409
just drink for evil. Just kidding. We're high

00:42:07.409 --> 00:42:12.369
and dry. So, we quit drinking the alcohol last

00:42:12.369 --> 00:42:16.989
January. Celtic salt is great for hydration.

00:42:17.210 --> 00:42:21.570
Good to know, Karen. Thank you for the tip. Judy,

00:42:21.650 --> 00:42:22.989
it ain't too awful far. If I'm already headed

00:42:22.989 --> 00:42:24.550
up that way for another show, then we can stop

00:42:24.550 --> 00:42:26.849
by and visit. Or you need to move. Whatever.

00:42:26.969 --> 00:42:30.630
Come east. Stephanie's got time to wait. Where's

00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:34.630
my map? Got Columbus. Is this the Indies? No.

00:42:34.829 --> 00:42:39.730
I'm gonna say it's the Indies. It's not. Jackson,

00:42:39.769 --> 00:42:42.989
Michigan. Where's that at on the hand? I know

00:42:42.989 --> 00:42:44.670
all about the palm. I know all about the mitten.

00:42:45.130 --> 00:42:48.469
My roommate was from Grand Rapids. I had to learn

00:42:48.469 --> 00:42:52.440
it. Missouri. I keep watching the door like he's

00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:57.360
going to pop through it with a mat. Where you

00:42:57.360 --> 00:43:04.860
at with my mat? I'm awful demanding. I should

00:43:04.860 --> 00:43:10.039
probably work on that. Tomorrow, maybe. Thank

00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:11.780
you, Tanya. I'm thinking about seriously taking

00:43:11.780 --> 00:43:14.960
the turkey to go get a blizzard at Air Queen

00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:18.059
this week, but I haven't decided yet. Hello.

00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:20.920
Thank you for saying I look amazing. Carolyn,

00:43:21.139 --> 00:43:22.880
if you're in Inez, Kentucky, then I expect to

00:43:22.880 --> 00:43:24.400
see you at the Appalachian Artists Festival when

00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:26.000
I'm there on August the 1st and headlining it

00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:29.820
at 8 p .m. So make sure that you're there. Prayers

00:43:29.820 --> 00:43:32.199
for Shauna's daughter. Oh my God, she had a seizure

00:43:32.199 --> 00:43:33.679
during an interview. Well, that's one way to,

00:43:33.699 --> 00:43:35.619
you know, get out of the interview, I guess.

00:43:36.199 --> 00:43:40.139
Hi, darling. I just called you Magellan. I said

00:43:40.139 --> 00:43:41.820
when Magellan comes out here with my new map.

00:43:42.199 --> 00:43:45.099
We have a map! Ah! And now we can color it in.

00:43:45.779 --> 00:43:48.860
Let me get my crayons because they do better

00:43:48.860 --> 00:43:52.360
than my highlighters. It's okay. It is now 1023.

00:43:53.300 --> 00:43:55.340
How far do I travel to perform? As far as you

00:43:55.340 --> 00:43:58.019
want me to go. I can't get no further without

00:43:58.019 --> 00:43:59.599
coming back. That's how the world works. It's

00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:03.780
right. Okay. Michigan, Russell. First one in.

00:44:03.820 --> 00:44:10.619
Let's get to Michigan. I'm coloring it in. Hang

00:44:10.619 --> 00:44:21.190
on. We got Michigan. All right. We got the map.

00:44:23.710 --> 00:44:30.429
I have to go back and look. The Idaho Potato

00:44:30.429 --> 00:44:32.730
Tour is in Butler, Pennsylvania. Why is that

00:44:32.730 --> 00:44:37.150
a thing? Peggy Sue was from Hurricane West Virginia.

00:44:37.190 --> 00:44:38.829
Now she lives in South Carolina. We're going

00:44:38.829 --> 00:44:44.539
to color it in. Do a little Gamecock red on there

00:44:44.539 --> 00:44:48.559
for you. How about that? Let's have Kakalaki

00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:50.780
in the house. All right. Got it. Got the map.

00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:58.380
You have to get him a blizzard. I know. You used

00:44:58.380 --> 00:45:00.019
to live in Zigzag, Oregon. That's fantastic.

00:45:00.659 --> 00:45:02.659
Bakersfield, California. Miranda, welcome to

00:45:02.659 --> 00:45:06.940
the show. Let's color you in. I'm coloring California

00:45:06.940 --> 00:45:12.190
blue because it is. Because that's the way things

00:45:12.190 --> 00:45:16.630
are. All right. We got California on the map.

00:45:20.070 --> 00:45:25.250
We're going in. Oregon. I see you. I see you,

00:45:25.250 --> 00:45:28.590
Parnell. Let me get you on here. Let me get you

00:45:28.590 --> 00:45:38.389
on here. In Oregon. You can color so much quicker

00:45:38.389 --> 00:45:40.389
the crowns than you can with markers. You really

00:45:40.389 --> 00:45:43.699
can. I am not from West Virginia. I'm from Kentucky.

00:45:44.500 --> 00:45:46.860
Tennessee, Junie, I see ya. I'm gonna color you

00:45:46.860 --> 00:45:48.420
orange because that's what color Tennessee is.

00:45:53.039 --> 00:45:54.420
When you have your own map, you can color it

00:45:54.420 --> 00:45:55.559
whatever color you want to, but I'm gonna color

00:45:55.559 --> 00:45:59.079
you orange. Okay. Waldo, Ohio, what's up, Shanna?

00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:01.840
Good to see you. Welcome to the porch. We ain't

00:46:01.840 --> 00:46:05.619
used green yet. Let's use some green. We used

00:46:05.619 --> 00:46:07.460
the dark green for Michigan, but let's use the

00:46:07.460 --> 00:46:10.369
grass green for Ohio because that's... Got grass

00:46:10.369 --> 00:46:15.050
that's recreational. Tennessee. Now we can add

00:46:15.050 --> 00:46:18.230
another mark to Tennessee. Glad to have you.

00:46:18.909 --> 00:46:21.210
Ohio. That's two of you from Ohio. Good to see

00:46:21.210 --> 00:46:27.630
you. Shanna's here from Pennsylvania. Going to

00:46:27.630 --> 00:46:35.469
Pennsylvania. What was that on? The office. Sometimes

00:46:35.469 --> 00:46:40.130
I just have musical Tourette's. Alright. Pennsylvania's

00:46:40.130 --> 00:46:43.429
colored in. Kentucky. Hello, Amy. Let's get you

00:46:43.429 --> 00:46:45.849
a good Kentucky blue because it is Kentucky after

00:46:45.849 --> 00:46:52.989
all. That ain't look like blue at all, but it

00:46:52.989 --> 00:46:55.909
is. All right. That looks more purple, but you

00:46:55.909 --> 00:46:57.929
do you, Crayola. You know your colors a bit.

00:46:58.610 --> 00:47:02.889
All right. Hello from Luray, Virginia. Hello,

00:47:02.969 --> 00:47:08.369
Nell. Let's color you in. First Virginia color

00:47:08.369 --> 00:47:10.650
that we got today. I am so excited about this.

00:47:14.829 --> 00:47:17.449
All right, Missouri. Melissa, I see you, baby.

00:47:18.289 --> 00:47:20.889
The show me state is now represented. Got you

00:47:20.889 --> 00:47:23.329
colored in. I got you outlined. Now I'm coloring

00:47:23.329 --> 00:47:28.630
you in. Quick lap. Chop, chop, blow it in. Okay.

00:47:30.409 --> 00:47:33.070
Kansas. Hello, Debbie. I used to live in Fort

00:47:33.070 --> 00:47:35.449
Riley, Kansas for a little bit. Glad to have

00:47:35.449 --> 00:47:41.579
you on board. Sorry, I had a bug on my face.

00:47:41.639 --> 00:47:47.280
It was on my nerves. Kansas, looking at you.

00:47:47.420 --> 00:47:50.739
All right. Columbia, North Carolina. Hello, Debbie.

00:47:50.860 --> 00:47:58.860
Let's get you colored in. North Carolina. Glad

00:47:58.860 --> 00:48:03.059
to have it. Mississippi, hello. Becky, how are

00:48:03.059 --> 00:48:04.780
you in Mississippi this evening? Everything doing

00:48:04.780 --> 00:48:10.500
well down there? In the land of magnolias and

00:48:10.500 --> 00:48:13.199
mystery. Glad to see you. Hearts, West Virginia.

00:48:13.420 --> 00:48:14.920
Pamela, good to see you in Kentucky. I got you

00:48:14.920 --> 00:48:17.800
marked down. Hello, Janie. Let's color in West

00:48:17.800 --> 00:48:19.480
Virginia. You think I do it for myself, but I

00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:20.980
don't count myself when I'm watching TV, you

00:48:20.980 --> 00:48:29.480
know. Seems rude. All right. Hillary is high

00:48:29.480 --> 00:48:32.260
and high from Spokane, Washington. Good to see

00:48:32.260 --> 00:48:33.699
you. Now we get to color you in. So excited.

00:48:34.500 --> 00:48:36.099
Tell you what, we're feeling like this met pretty

00:48:36.099 --> 00:48:38.460
hardcore tonight. We might be able to fill out

00:48:38.460 --> 00:48:41.519
all 50 states and a couple of countries. If you're

00:48:41.519 --> 00:48:42.619
watching from somewhere else, we'll add you to

00:48:42.619 --> 00:48:46.940
the map. Hello, Jason from Kentucky. Another

00:48:46.940 --> 00:48:49.980
mark for Kentucky. Taylorsville. Hello, Kentucky.

00:48:50.780 --> 00:48:52.460
Morrisville, North Carolina. Hello, Valerie.

00:48:53.059 --> 00:48:55.840
Got another buddy in North Carolina there. Dalton,

00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:59.539
Georgia. Hello, Becca. Let's get Georgia colored

00:48:59.539 --> 00:49:10.570
in. Hot Georgia. All right. Mississippi. Got

00:49:10.570 --> 00:49:13.610
you, baby. Alabama. Hello, April. I was wondering

00:49:13.610 --> 00:49:16.050
if you was on here tonight. I was like, where's

00:49:16.050 --> 00:49:17.949
April? She's usually hollering from Alabama by

00:49:17.949 --> 00:49:21.949
now. And she was. We found her. None of them

00:49:21.949 --> 00:49:25.150
are blue. Only a few. Don't forget Alabama bread.

00:49:25.190 --> 00:49:33.969
I got you. It's purple. South, South Texas. Like

00:49:33.969 --> 00:49:36.429
Mexico, Texas or Gulf of America, Texas. Like

00:49:36.429 --> 00:49:39.010
how South Texas are you? But we're coloring the

00:49:39.010 --> 00:49:41.190
end. Texas is a big state. I don't need a big

00:49:41.190 --> 00:49:47.469
crown. Hang on. We're doing it as fast as we

00:49:47.469 --> 00:49:57.210
can. Texas. There we go. Color the end. Kentucky

00:49:57.210 --> 00:49:59.369
blue. Got you, baby. Missouri's in there. Got

00:49:59.369 --> 00:50:01.849
you. Oklahoma. Hello, Karen. Let's go ahead and

00:50:01.849 --> 00:50:04.550
color in some Oklahoma. Oklahoma about lost my

00:50:04.550 --> 00:50:09.329
damn crown. Sarah, you break your crowns, you

00:50:09.329 --> 00:50:10.670
can't get no new ones now. You're gonna have

00:50:10.670 --> 00:50:16.090
to use what you got. Okie from Muskogee. There

00:50:16.090 --> 00:50:20.949
we go. I found you. Ohio. Hello, Carrie. Georgia.

00:50:20.989 --> 00:50:22.929
Hello, Trish. Got you. Mississippi. Cynthia,

00:50:23.070 --> 00:50:26.489
we got you. Hello, Lori. Also in Georgia. Jennifer's

00:50:26.489 --> 00:50:31.449
in Kentucky. Betty's in North Dakota. Excuse

00:50:31.449 --> 00:50:41.929
me. Got you. North Dakota. Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.

00:50:42.170 --> 00:50:44.389
I see you now. I'm sorry. Got you in Virginia.

00:50:46.110 --> 00:50:49.670
Put a little slash mark. I see you. Texas. Got

00:50:49.670 --> 00:50:53.369
you. South Carolina. Hello, Connie. Cynthia in

00:50:53.369 --> 00:50:56.869
Mississippi. Hoopston, Illinois. Hello. Is that

00:50:56.869 --> 00:50:58.789
Tisha or Thisha? I like that. I had a teacher

00:50:58.789 --> 00:51:00.010
named Shackelford, so I'll be able to remember

00:51:00.010 --> 00:51:03.190
that forever. Illinois, the land of Lincoln and

00:51:03.190 --> 00:51:07.440
recreational weed, so we like them. Come on in.

00:51:07.539 --> 00:51:13.059
All right. Colored you a beautiful apricot. I

00:51:13.059 --> 00:51:16.519
thought that looked apricot. I liked it. Maryland's

00:51:16.519 --> 00:51:18.019
not for crabs. So is Powell County, Kentucky,

00:51:18.179 --> 00:51:22.039
but probably a different kind. Sarah. Shouldn't

00:51:22.039 --> 00:51:25.579
say stuff like that. Who said that? Let's color

00:51:25.579 --> 00:51:35.449
in Maryland. Got it. Tana's in Texas. Hello.

00:51:35.710 --> 00:51:38.449
Karen's over in Oklahoma. Got you, baby. Hillary,

00:51:38.489 --> 00:51:41.150
you're in Washington. Got you, baby. Hello from

00:51:41.150 --> 00:51:43.349
Kentucky. Donna, hello from Kentucky. Lynn, are

00:51:43.349 --> 00:51:45.769
y 'all friends? Y 'all should be. Stephanie in

00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:48.849
Pennsylvania. Nice to see you. Welcome to the

00:51:48.849 --> 00:51:50.670
porch. Cynthia's down in Mississippi. Tana's

00:51:50.670 --> 00:51:53.590
in Texas. Jessica is down in Florida. The first

00:51:53.590 --> 00:51:55.530
one we got for our Florida color here. Let's

00:51:55.530 --> 00:51:59.269
see. I'm gonna go with a real bright green. Seems

00:51:59.269 --> 00:52:02.710
to be a fun color for this time of summer. It's

00:52:02.710 --> 00:52:04.510
the color of sweet potato, Ivy. It's the color

00:52:04.510 --> 00:52:07.869
of Florida. Cynthia's in Mississippi and Becky's

00:52:07.869 --> 00:52:09.409
in Mississippi. Do y 'all know each other yet?

00:52:09.489 --> 00:52:12.570
Can you meet? Start you on porch. Do y 'all listen

00:52:12.570 --> 00:52:16.969
to Saturday Night Live music? Come on over. Eureka

00:52:16.969 --> 00:52:19.030
Springs, Arkansas. Finally get to kill her in

00:52:19.030 --> 00:52:26.110
Arkansas. Glad for it. Glad you're here. Nanny,

00:52:26.110 --> 00:52:29.719
nanny. Tannis and Texas got you, baby. Kimberly's

00:52:29.719 --> 00:52:31.900
and Georgia got you. Arizona's represented. Hello,

00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:35.920
Shawna. Let's get some more Arizona over here.

00:52:36.579 --> 00:52:39.440
Let's do yellow. It's a yellow kind of state.

00:52:40.099 --> 00:52:44.880
Sun's shining. Been there. Every time I've been

00:52:44.880 --> 00:52:48.119
there, the sun's been shining. Johnson City,

00:52:48.239 --> 00:52:50.840
Tennessee. Hello, Paula. You're so close to Sapphire.

00:52:50.900 --> 00:52:53.019
I hope to see you at the show there in August,

00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:54.440
so make sure you get on there and get some tickets.

00:52:55.079 --> 00:52:57.380
Burleson, Texas. Hello, Tanya. Cynthia's down

00:52:57.380 --> 00:53:01.059
in Mississippi. Use crimson for North Alabama.

00:53:01.340 --> 00:53:03.860
Well, if I had crimson, but it's only a 24 -pack

00:53:03.860 --> 00:53:05.780
of crowns. I have to get a bigger pack of crowns.

00:53:06.460 --> 00:53:08.400
Indianapolis, Indiana. Glad to have you on the

00:53:08.400 --> 00:53:15.099
porch this evening. Let's color you in. Glad

00:53:15.099 --> 00:53:17.579
to have you. Welcome from Indiana. Stephanie's

00:53:17.579 --> 00:53:20.760
in Pennsylvania. Hello. Quitman, Texas. Hello,

00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:22.679
Kimberly. Good to see you. Thomasville, Georgia.

00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:24.320
Good to see you, Trish. We got you in Georgia.

00:53:24.579 --> 00:53:27.019
Inez, Kentucky. Hello, Jennifer. I was just talking

00:53:27.019 --> 00:53:31.320
about you. Texas, Tennessee, Texas, Kentucky,

00:53:31.780 --> 00:53:34.139
Southeast Texas, Louisiana. I ain't got Louisiana

00:53:34.139 --> 00:53:45.190
yet. Now we do. Louisiana. Leaving Louisiana

00:53:45.190 --> 00:53:49.630
in the broad daylight. Alabama, North Carolina.

00:53:49.670 --> 00:53:51.329
Hello, Cynthia. Glad to have you on the porch

00:53:51.329 --> 00:53:54.130
this evening. Mexico. Good Lord. I have to write

00:53:54.130 --> 00:54:02.050
Mexico. Mexico. Nice. Ohio. Super excited to

00:54:02.050 --> 00:54:05.690
see you. Oh, you're in Australia. Hello, Linda.

00:54:05.809 --> 00:54:07.409
Do you know Carrie Ann, who's also in Australia?

00:54:08.309 --> 00:54:13.550
If you don't, y 'all need to be friends. I found

00:54:13.550 --> 00:54:16.710
an almanac the other day. Not an almanac. A world

00:54:16.710 --> 00:54:19.510
book from 1935 that said Australasia. And I was

00:54:19.510 --> 00:54:23.969
like, what country is that? Don't like that.

00:54:26.230 --> 00:54:28.730
Ocala, Florida. Hello, Colton. Glad to have you.

00:54:28.789 --> 00:54:30.570
I love Ocala, man. I want to go back to Silver

00:54:30.570 --> 00:54:32.809
Springs. I ain't been to Silver Springs in forever.

00:54:34.030 --> 00:54:37.349
Hold up the map. That's what we got so far. We're

00:54:37.349 --> 00:54:39.130
getting there. The South is covered. Now we're

00:54:39.130 --> 00:54:40.829
waiting for the rest of the world to catch up.

00:54:42.250 --> 00:54:44.250
Florida, we got you. Alabama, we got you. I saw

00:54:44.250 --> 00:54:48.469
you, Lynn, in Kentucky. Got you, baby. April.

00:54:49.889 --> 00:54:53.050
Yes, you do. I have a P .O. box that gets fan

00:54:53.050 --> 00:54:55.409
mail all the time. So, send it to me. Hello,

00:54:55.449 --> 00:54:57.869
Jackie in Kentucky. Hello, Robbins in Indiana.

00:54:58.170 --> 00:55:00.389
Angela's in Ohio. Kimberly's watching from Texas.

00:55:01.070 --> 00:55:03.269
Sarah from Oklahoma. Rachel. Rochelle. Sorry,

00:55:03.409 --> 00:55:06.230
Rachel. I said Rachel. Rochelle. Rochelle is

00:55:06.230 --> 00:55:08.489
in Oklahoma. And I think you need to head to

00:55:08.489 --> 00:55:10.469
the SBT fan club. There's a lot of Okies on here

00:55:10.469 --> 00:55:13.349
tonight. Texas, where y 'all at? Y 'all need

00:55:13.349 --> 00:55:15.369
to form an SBT fan club. Jennifer's in Virginia.

00:55:15.610 --> 00:55:17.929
Colton's down in Florida. Good to see you. Teresa's

00:55:17.929 --> 00:55:19.949
also in Lake City, Florida. That's too Florida.

00:55:20.210 --> 00:55:21.829
Teresa, do you know Colton? Y 'all should meet.

00:55:22.409 --> 00:55:24.389
Jackie's in Indiana. Beverly's in Louisiana.

00:55:25.650 --> 00:55:27.710
West Virginia. Why am I coming? Hello, Ava. You're

00:55:27.710 --> 00:55:32.849
not too far from here. Ocala, Florida. Kentucky,

00:55:33.150 --> 00:55:36.170
Alabama. Welcome to the porch, Valerie. April's

00:55:36.170 --> 00:55:37.429
been here for a while. I wonder where y 'all

00:55:37.429 --> 00:55:41.679
was. Colorado, where is my crown? Didn't have

00:55:41.679 --> 00:55:50.119
a Colorado. Now do. Now we're finally coloring

00:55:50.119 --> 00:55:56.440
in the West. Look at us. Look at us go. Colton,

00:55:56.460 --> 00:55:59.059
yes, your comments get seen. I've responded to

00:55:59.059 --> 00:56:01.739
you like four times now. Rose is in Indianapolis.

00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:04.820
Claudine is in Ohio. Got your babies. Missouri.

00:56:05.900 --> 00:56:08.019
Or misery. You know, they say that Missouri does

00:56:08.019 --> 00:56:11.800
love company Angie. I'm so glad that you're here,

00:56:11.860 --> 00:56:17.199
Betty. Thank you so much. I don't know, Jason

00:56:17.199 --> 00:56:22.420
and April. I'm in the Mountain State and she's

00:56:22.420 --> 00:56:23.920
in the Sunshine State. It's hard to keep up with

00:56:23.920 --> 00:56:25.960
each other. Especially when we're on the road

00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:28.219
all the time. Carney, Oklahoma. Hello, Christina.

00:56:28.480 --> 00:56:32.280
Glad to have you. Cheryl's here from Ohio. Perry's

00:56:32.280 --> 00:56:35.360
in Jasper, Georgia. Hello, Amy Beth, West Virginia.

00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:37.699
Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Listen, if you go to

00:56:37.699 --> 00:56:39.099
the Kroger, my friend Hunter's now the perm.

00:56:39.179 --> 00:56:41.179
No, that's not Elizabethtown. That's in Hopkinsville.

00:56:41.239 --> 00:56:43.019
Just kidding. He got transferred. But still proud

00:56:43.019 --> 00:56:44.940
of him. He's now the main manager of the Kroger.

00:56:47.480 --> 00:56:49.219
Christina and Karen are making friends in Oklahoma.

00:56:49.559 --> 00:56:51.760
Fantastic. Jeanette's in Paris, Illinois. Got

00:56:51.760 --> 00:56:55.510
you, baby. North Georgia and West Virginia. Got

00:56:55.510 --> 00:56:57.949
us. Got us. Love it. Irvin, Kentucky. Glad to

00:56:57.949 --> 00:57:00.369
see home folk on here. Hello from Indiana. Born

00:57:00.369 --> 00:57:02.849
in Delaware. I ain't got a Delaware yet. Now

00:57:02.849 --> 00:57:05.949
hang on. Gotta get me a little tiny crown for

00:57:05.949 --> 00:57:07.889
a little tiny state. Nope. Can't use that color

00:57:07.889 --> 00:57:11.010
because it's the same color I used earlier. Delaware.

00:57:11.750 --> 00:57:17.369
Got you. Cindy's watching from Northern Missouri.

00:57:17.489 --> 00:57:19.730
Thank you for joining us. Matthew's in Southeast

00:57:19.730 --> 00:57:22.579
Kentucky. Represent. Good to see you. See. I'm

00:57:22.579 --> 00:57:26.320
from Kentucky. South Carolina, Clemson. Oh, don't

00:57:26.320 --> 00:57:27.440
say that too loud. Don't say that to some of

00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:29.340
my people. They're awful big Gamecock fans. But

00:57:29.340 --> 00:57:31.019
we won't hold it against you because I'm a Kentucky

00:57:31.019 --> 00:57:34.480
Wildcats fan. So, glad to have you. All right.

00:57:34.579 --> 00:57:38.000
So, now we're looking to fill in Iowa, Idaho,

00:57:38.219 --> 00:57:44.960
Montana, Utah, New Mexico, Wyoming, Nebraska,

00:57:45.219 --> 00:57:49.980
South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, New York.

00:57:52.519 --> 00:57:55.340
Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Massachusetts,

00:57:55.500 --> 00:58:00.539
Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine, Nevada, Utah,

00:58:00.739 --> 00:58:02.460
Alaska, and Hawaii. So if we don't have anybody

00:58:02.460 --> 00:58:04.599
from there, that's the only one that we got left.

00:58:08.300 --> 00:58:10.199
Rhonda, please go say hi to Hunter. When you

00:58:10.199 --> 00:58:12.239
see Hunter, say, I am Sarah Beth Terry's friend

00:58:12.239 --> 00:58:14.380
and I'm on the porch. She'll be like, girl, I

00:58:14.380 --> 00:58:16.039
love Hunter. We've been friends for a long time.

00:58:17.799 --> 00:58:20.519
Now we're starting to catch on and make the power

00:58:20.519 --> 00:58:22.380
of the porch a real thing. So if you are watching

00:58:22.380 --> 00:58:24.039
and you see your estate pop up from somebody

00:58:24.039 --> 00:58:26.539
else, comment. Tell them where you're at. Make

00:58:26.539 --> 00:58:29.780
friends. Please make friends. Teresa, we got

00:58:29.780 --> 00:58:33.300
you. Missouri, fantastic. Lots of Missouri on

00:58:33.300 --> 00:58:37.539
the porch tonight. Heather, I'm glad that you're

00:58:37.539 --> 00:58:39.519
here too. And if you put that I'm your favorite

00:58:39.519 --> 00:58:41.380
on your follow thing, it'll let you know every

00:58:41.380 --> 00:58:42.820
time I'm live. Or you can subscribe. I think

00:58:42.820 --> 00:58:44.119
it's like three bucks a month, which is less

00:58:44.119 --> 00:58:47.250
than a cup of coffee. Montana! Amanda, thanks

00:58:47.250 --> 00:58:49.150
for showing up. We didn't have nobody from Montana

00:58:49.150 --> 00:58:54.150
yet. Now we can color in that big damn state

00:58:54.150 --> 00:58:56.429
at the top by Canada. I've been to Montana. I've

00:58:56.429 --> 00:58:58.010
been to eastern Montana, which is not the same

00:58:58.010 --> 00:58:59.570
as western Montana. It looks a whole lot like

00:58:59.570 --> 00:59:02.309
Ohio, but I said it big time. Would like to come

00:59:02.309 --> 00:59:06.909
back. All right, Montana. Glad to have you. Hello

00:59:06.909 --> 00:59:10.489
from Oklahoma. Glad to see you, Clara. Montana

00:59:10.489 --> 00:59:14.679
is here. Thank goodness. You see, we got this

00:59:14.679 --> 00:59:17.079
swatch where Sarah Beth Terry is not penetrating.

00:59:18.059 --> 00:59:23.019
We need to penetrate this area with SPT. See,

00:59:23.119 --> 00:59:24.539
Teresa and Melissa are making real -life friends

00:59:24.539 --> 00:59:26.159
in Missouri. There's a power in the porch. I'm

00:59:26.159 --> 00:59:31.980
telling you. Make friends. There's always somebody

00:59:31.980 --> 00:59:36.199
on the porch. All right, we've got 1, 2, 3, 4,

00:59:36.320 --> 00:59:41.059
5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 10, right there. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

00:59:41.079 --> 00:59:44.199
6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Teddy bears had their

00:59:44.199 --> 00:59:47.300
picnic. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22,

00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:51.619
23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 32 states represented

00:59:51.619 --> 00:59:57.659
so far. So, loving it. Loving our porch picnic.

00:59:57.739 --> 00:59:59.699
Look at the cigarette. Look at the cigarette,

00:59:59.840 --> 01:00:05.539
Mom. We are so feeling in the map. So excited.

01:00:07.449 --> 01:00:09.269
Mississippi is hanging out on the porch and getting

01:00:09.269 --> 01:00:11.010
to know each other. See, this is the power of

01:00:11.010 --> 01:00:12.510
the porch. This is why I do cigarette bombs.

01:00:12.650 --> 01:00:15.849
You can make friends in real life and maybe do

01:00:15.849 --> 01:00:18.030
this in real life and go to somebody else's porch

01:00:18.030 --> 01:00:20.050
or have them do your porch and y 'all can listen

01:00:20.050 --> 01:00:23.190
to Sarah Beth Terry and hang out. Anybody from

01:00:23.190 --> 01:00:28.369
the PD of South Carolina? Mom's on here. Some

01:00:28.369 --> 01:00:33.829
South Kakalaki folks. Minnesota, I did not call

01:00:33.829 --> 01:00:36.030
her. Hello, Tanya. Thanks for reminding me. Sometimes

01:00:36.030 --> 01:00:39.579
I miss them. Sometimes I miss them. I have to

01:00:39.579 --> 01:00:42.199
get on there and check again. So I'm glad that

01:00:42.199 --> 01:00:43.500
y 'all keep an eye on the porch for me because

01:00:43.500 --> 01:00:45.320
people comment quicker than I can keep up sometimes.

01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:48.840
So thanks for having my back. Caught me live,

01:00:48.920 --> 01:00:51.840
man. Thanks for having me. We're coloring in

01:00:51.840 --> 01:00:54.420
more. Looky here. We're getting there. We just

01:00:54.420 --> 01:00:57.099
need to... Do we know anybody in this area? Do

01:00:57.099 --> 01:00:59.739
we have anybody in this swatch of SBT followers?

01:01:01.539 --> 01:01:02.980
We're gonna do like the Jehovah's Witness and

01:01:02.980 --> 01:01:04.260
just go door -to -door and be like, do you have

01:01:04.260 --> 01:01:05.929
a minute or two? Talk to Sarah Beth Terry. Do

01:01:05.929 --> 01:01:06.949
you have a mirror or two to hear the good news

01:01:06.949 --> 01:01:08.309
about Saturday? Can I leave you some literature

01:01:08.309 --> 01:01:10.849
about Saturday? Laura is watching from Illinois.

01:01:11.090 --> 01:01:12.949
Glad to have you, sister. Welcome to the porch.

01:01:14.230 --> 01:01:15.869
Always glad to have people on the porch from

01:01:15.869 --> 01:01:18.489
different places. Oregon, glad to have you. You're

01:01:18.489 --> 01:01:19.989
the second person from Oregon here tonight. Glad

01:01:19.989 --> 01:01:21.369
to have you, Lori. Thank you for being here.

01:01:23.250 --> 01:01:24.849
You're back out in the back. You're only like

01:01:24.849 --> 01:01:26.130
an hour and a half from Sapphire. If you're not

01:01:26.130 --> 01:01:28.530
at that show, I'm going to be so hurt. I'm going

01:01:28.530 --> 01:01:32.690
to cry. There we go, Peggy Sue and Molly's hooking

01:01:32.690 --> 01:01:34.889
up in South Carolina. This is why I love the

01:01:34.889 --> 01:01:38.070
porch. Don Rose is in Sullivan, Illinois. Got

01:01:38.070 --> 01:01:39.510
you another hash mark. Thank you for being in

01:01:39.510 --> 01:01:40.730
Illinois and being on the porch this evening.

01:01:41.110 --> 01:01:42.989
Still working on Wisconsin, Nevada, and Nebraska.

01:01:43.190 --> 01:01:45.309
Thank you, Shauna. She's on it tonight. She's

01:01:45.309 --> 01:01:46.949
like, I know people. Let's make some phone calls.

01:01:48.289 --> 01:01:50.090
That's what I'm saying. You know anybody in those

01:01:50.090 --> 01:01:51.969
states, just tag them real quick and be like,

01:01:52.030 --> 01:01:56.110
get over here to the porch. We're missing Idaho,

01:01:56.289 --> 01:02:00.480
Nevada, Utah. Wyoming, New Mexico, South Dakota,

01:02:00.500 --> 01:02:06.099
Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin. I have to say it like

01:02:06.099 --> 01:02:10.599
that. New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New

01:02:10.599 --> 01:02:13.380
Jersey, Rhode Island, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont,

01:02:13.480 --> 01:02:22.320
and I think that Alaska and Hawaii. I have Ken

01:02:22.320 --> 01:02:23.920
Oliver too. I wish I could text him and be like,

01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:27.989
tune in so I can color you in on the map. Amanda,

01:02:28.090 --> 01:02:29.809
are you originally from Idaho? I don't know.

01:02:29.829 --> 01:02:32.989
Should we count it? That's up to the porch. If

01:02:32.989 --> 01:02:34.789
you think that she can claim dual citizenship,

01:02:34.989 --> 01:02:38.309
then we will. We'll color in Idaho. Tell us about

01:02:38.309 --> 01:02:44.150
taters or something. Prove it. Ha ha. You know

01:02:44.150 --> 01:02:46.769
what? You're nice enough to be like, I was born

01:02:46.769 --> 01:02:48.849
there, and you're still watching, so there's

01:02:48.849 --> 01:02:50.349
a little bit of Idaho watching, so I'm gonna

01:02:50.349 --> 01:02:53.789
color it in. Not with that color, because that's

01:02:53.789 --> 01:02:55.010
not the right color. I thought it was when I

01:02:55.010 --> 01:03:02.670
picked it up. All right, we're getting there.

01:03:07.690 --> 01:03:09.690
Just so you know, none of these sites have names

01:03:09.690 --> 01:03:11.969
on them, so I have to remember. I have to remember

01:03:11.969 --> 01:03:13.869
all my fifth grade geography lessons, especially

01:03:13.869 --> 01:03:15.190
when I get up here in New England because it

01:03:15.190 --> 01:03:20.929
gets confusing. I am from here. I have lived

01:03:20.929 --> 01:03:24.369
here. I have lived here. I have lived here. And

01:03:24.369 --> 01:03:26.130
I have lived way over across the pond in Italy.

01:03:29.779 --> 01:03:31.820
Dual citizenship. Okay, Miranda says it counts.

01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:39.300
So, welcome, Idaho. Utah, Idaho. I'd love to

01:03:39.300 --> 01:03:41.039
see Vermont in the fall, too. I'd love to meet

01:03:41.039 --> 01:03:43.460
somebody from Vermont that likes my music. It's

01:03:43.460 --> 01:03:50.239
a very small state. Just wanting to know. Marge

01:03:50.239 --> 01:03:51.980
is watching from Ohio. Thank you, darling. Got

01:03:51.980 --> 01:03:54.159
another slash mark for you. We got a lot of people

01:03:54.159 --> 01:03:55.460
in Ohio. If you see somebody else from Ohio,

01:03:55.619 --> 01:03:58.460
then make some friends. So what I'm trying to

01:03:58.460 --> 01:03:59.960
encourage is that y 'all get together in real

01:03:59.960 --> 01:04:02.480
life and this is what it's about. Talk to each

01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:04.519
other. Love each other. Do things that AI can't

01:04:04.519 --> 01:04:09.260
do. Like fix a cheese ball. Or speak tea. Say

01:04:09.260 --> 01:04:15.320
a prayer. Hold a hand. Send a casserole. Amanda

01:04:15.320 --> 01:04:16.900
lived there for 32 years before moving to Montana.

01:04:16.920 --> 01:04:20.960
I think that counts. So I colored in both. Born

01:04:20.960 --> 01:04:29.300
in Boise. Welcome. How fun is this? Just so much

01:04:29.300 --> 01:04:36.480
going on. There's just so much going on. Where's

01:04:36.480 --> 01:04:49.079
my grain? Is it rolled off the porch? Where'd

01:04:49.079 --> 01:05:07.219
it go? Where did you go? I'm coloring on my legs

01:05:07.219 --> 01:05:09.280
blue in case I accidentally color them with a

01:05:09.280 --> 01:05:12.599
state color. I don't want to do that. So, you

01:05:12.599 --> 01:05:27.639
know, I'm planning ahead. Alright. Because if

01:05:27.639 --> 01:05:29.960
I don't color in my legs, then I will absolutely

01:05:29.960 --> 01:05:34.199
color them in a state. So, I don't want to do

01:05:34.199 --> 01:05:36.329
that. I don't want to look like an idiot. So,

01:05:36.329 --> 01:05:40.869
coloring our legs that way that we don't accidentally

01:05:40.869 --> 01:05:44.570
color them in for a sight. Montana is beautiful.

01:05:44.989 --> 01:05:47.329
I enjoyed it very much. You can see forever.

01:05:47.690 --> 01:05:49.469
We are getting so close to filling out this map.

01:05:50.929 --> 01:05:55.329
So excited. Well, if you want an ASB t -shirt

01:05:55.329 --> 01:05:56.630
to wear to Kroger, then get on SaturdayByTerry

01:05:56.630 --> 01:05:57.809
.com because we have all kinds of merchandise

01:05:57.809 --> 01:05:59.230
and you can get it within three or four days.

01:05:59.469 --> 01:06:01.130
So, just get on there and pick something up.

01:06:02.539 --> 01:06:04.679
I know. I need to get under here and do my pitted

01:06:04.679 --> 01:06:09.639
extra stuff. Where is my green crayon? I don't

01:06:09.639 --> 01:06:13.539
even see it. Did it roll under something? Oh,

01:06:13.579 --> 01:06:16.900
found it. It's under the box. What just happened

01:06:16.900 --> 01:06:21.559
to my bangs? Okay, Wendy said we got Alaska covered.

01:06:21.699 --> 01:06:23.260
Well, let me get my... Since I got the green

01:06:23.260 --> 01:06:24.960
crayon out, that's probably the only time you

01:06:24.960 --> 01:06:29.579
ever see green up there. I would color it white,

01:06:29.639 --> 01:06:34.400
but that seems useless. Okay. Alaska. Officially

01:06:34.400 --> 01:06:36.920
on the map. Glad to have you. Tanya has family

01:06:36.920 --> 01:06:39.039
in Hawaii. If they're SBT fans, then that counts.

01:06:40.400 --> 01:06:42.440
Once they become SBT fans, we'll absolutely color

01:06:42.440 --> 01:06:46.239
in Hawaii. We're kind of cheating at this point

01:06:46.239 --> 01:06:49.679
with where we were born. But we're getting there.

01:06:50.619 --> 01:06:52.519
The map keeps getting more and more colored in

01:06:52.519 --> 01:06:53.800
every time that we get together, and that's very

01:06:53.800 --> 01:07:01.079
exciting. Power of the porch. So, found it. Nice.

01:07:08.619 --> 01:07:10.320
Amanda's husband has been in the hospital since

01:07:10.320 --> 01:07:17.340
Thursday before last. Good Lord. Everybody say

01:07:17.340 --> 01:07:23.699
a prayer for Amanda's husband. So, we pray on

01:07:23.699 --> 01:07:31.739
the porch too. Good Lord, Amanda. That's a whole

01:07:31.739 --> 01:07:34.679
mess of stuff. Praying for him. Hope it gets

01:07:34.679 --> 01:07:37.119
better soon. Praying for you too because you're

01:07:37.119 --> 01:07:42.789
going to have to be his nurse. That's hard. So.

01:07:44.510 --> 01:07:49.849
Anyway. Not anyway on the prayer request. On

01:07:49.849 --> 01:07:51.230
anyway I was reading the rest of the comments.

01:07:51.349 --> 01:07:52.429
I don't want you to think that I'm heartless.

01:07:52.469 --> 01:07:58.429
I'm really not. I just get ADD sometimes. So.

01:07:58.909 --> 01:08:00.469
Thank you for joining us for the cigarette month

01:08:00.469 --> 01:08:02.050
tonight. I'm so glad that we've got more of the

01:08:02.050 --> 01:08:05.530
map. I'm going to put the date on it. Today is

01:08:05.530 --> 01:08:13.809
July 7th. 2026. Fantastic. Amen, Betty. Thank

01:08:13.809 --> 01:08:16.310
you. The power of the porch. We are superheroes.

01:08:16.869 --> 01:08:18.569
We're holding the world together with bobby pins,

01:08:18.689 --> 01:08:23.829
marbles, and duct tape. We love Jesus. We're

01:08:23.829 --> 01:08:26.390
just an outdoor cat about it. Because I feel

01:08:26.390 --> 01:08:27.869
like he would sit on the porch with us until

01:08:27.869 --> 01:08:29.609
the wee hours of the morning and laugh and cut

01:08:29.609 --> 01:08:33.489
up with us and read the Bible and eat. I just

01:08:33.489 --> 01:08:34.869
feel like he'd be one of us. He didn't really

01:08:34.869 --> 01:08:36.890
hang out with a lot of the up and ups, you know?

01:08:36.949 --> 01:08:38.890
Like, he kind of hung out with our people. And

01:08:38.890 --> 01:08:41.090
I think that's what my big mission is with the

01:08:41.090 --> 01:08:42.949
porch, with the feral Christian, with the cigarette

01:08:42.949 --> 01:08:46.029
mom, is that I don't care in the end of the day

01:08:46.029 --> 01:08:48.369
if you remember me at all. Like, it doesn't matter.

01:08:48.489 --> 01:08:50.630
I know that I'll be forgotten about five minutes

01:08:50.630 --> 01:08:54.029
after I die anyway. However, things I said, things

01:08:54.029 --> 01:08:56.489
that I wrote, things that I sang, people I brought

01:08:56.489 --> 01:08:58.189
together, those are the things that I want to

01:08:58.189 --> 01:08:59.789
matter. I want you to get in your Bible and be

01:08:59.789 --> 01:09:02.880
like, does it say that? Check. Bring me wrong.

01:09:04.380 --> 01:09:07.819
I want you to follow Jesus as close as you follow

01:09:07.819 --> 01:09:09.819
some of these online influencers. I want you

01:09:09.819 --> 01:09:11.880
to be like, yeah, it's great that I have 360

01:09:11.880 --> 01:09:14.260
,000 followers. You want to know how many Jesus

01:09:14.260 --> 01:09:18.560
has? Way more. If he'd had Facebook, he would

01:09:18.560 --> 01:09:23.779
have totally beat my algorithm by now. So, that's

01:09:23.779 --> 01:09:25.840
my whole point. Sometimes we talk about chickens.

01:09:25.960 --> 01:09:27.539
Sometimes we talk about husbands. Sometimes we

01:09:27.539 --> 01:09:29.100
talk about husbands that act like chickens and

01:09:29.100 --> 01:09:30.939
chickens that act like husbands. Sometimes we

01:09:30.939 --> 01:09:33.140
talk about the garden. We smoke cigarettes. We

01:09:33.140 --> 01:09:34.760
lift each other up in prayer. We ask about how

01:09:34.760 --> 01:09:37.420
your day went and how your kids are doing, how

01:09:37.420 --> 01:09:40.140
your mom and them. That's what we do. That's

01:09:40.140 --> 01:09:45.239
who we are. So, welcome. Can I do a lesson on

01:09:45.239 --> 01:09:47.319
to have it in the Bible sometime? I'd love to.

01:09:47.800 --> 01:09:49.159
I'm going to do some studying on that. Thank

01:09:49.159 --> 01:09:52.779
you so much. So, I don't claim to know all the

01:09:52.779 --> 01:09:54.520
answers. I just claim to have a big enough mouth

01:09:54.520 --> 01:09:55.819
and a big enough porch where people probably

01:09:55.819 --> 01:09:59.199
get together and discuss. If you build it, they

01:09:59.199 --> 01:10:03.800
will come. Jesus is on the porch. He's sitting

01:10:03.800 --> 01:10:08.020
right behind me. He's right there. Jesus, come

01:10:08.020 --> 01:10:13.000
in here and look at people. Here. Jesus. Jesus.

01:10:17.060 --> 01:10:19.439
What are those type of vapes called? This is

01:10:19.439 --> 01:10:23.439
called a timeless vape. It's about 86%. It has

01:10:23.439 --> 01:10:28.039
CBD, THC, and CBG in it. I like it. And there's

01:10:28.039 --> 01:10:29.260
a nice little button on the bottom. I like that

01:10:29.260 --> 01:10:30.779
it looks like a lighter and don't get crap in

01:10:30.779 --> 01:10:32.000
the mouthpiece. Because you don't know how many

01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:34.619
times I've had to suck out a piece of fuzz from

01:10:34.619 --> 01:10:36.720
this pond in my purse. So, here on the bottom,

01:10:36.739 --> 01:10:43.100
you can preheat it. My coil's heating up. Amen,

01:10:43.159 --> 01:10:47.659
Tonya. If you're tuning in for the Bible study

01:10:47.659 --> 01:10:49.520
on Thursday night at 7 p .m. right here on the

01:10:49.520 --> 01:10:53.020
porch, right here on this page, we will be going

01:10:53.020 --> 01:10:56.380
through the book of Ephesians. So, get excited

01:10:56.380 --> 01:11:00.199
about it. I've read it three times this week.

01:11:00.319 --> 01:11:02.180
It's not a long book. Like I said yesterday,

01:11:02.239 --> 01:11:04.380
it's more of a pamphlet. It's more like a pamphlet,

01:11:04.460 --> 01:11:09.319
epistle pamphlet. Hello, Narita. Good to see

01:11:09.319 --> 01:11:10.939
you. Glad that you're finally here. I was wondering

01:11:10.939 --> 01:11:12.619
about you. We done called everybody that we knew

01:11:12.619 --> 01:11:16.920
and asked where you was. Where's she at? She's

01:11:16.920 --> 01:11:19.319
supposed to be here by now. I'm just kidding.

01:11:19.399 --> 01:11:24.869
I'm glad you're here. So. My philodendron's not

01:11:24.869 --> 01:11:26.510
looking too hot. I think I need to take him back

01:11:26.510 --> 01:11:31.810
inside. And my pineapple sage is just not doing

01:11:31.810 --> 01:11:36.050
well. I think it just finally might be having

01:11:36.050 --> 01:11:42.369
its moment. That's how I got the hiccups. But

01:11:42.369 --> 01:11:46.470
tomorrow my plants have changed. Excuse me. I

01:11:46.470 --> 01:11:47.890
was supposed to be in the studio all day working

01:11:47.890 --> 01:11:50.750
on the next album. But there was a medical emergency

01:11:50.750 --> 01:11:52.409
where me and my producer have to reschedule next

01:11:52.409 --> 01:11:54.189
week, which is fine. That gives me another week

01:11:54.189 --> 01:11:57.329
to work on my songs. But I did pick 13 that are

01:11:57.329 --> 01:12:00.970
going to be on the next project so far, if you've

01:12:00.970 --> 01:12:04.289
not went and drove down the rabbit hole on those.

01:12:06.260 --> 01:12:08.579
What I'm cutting next is going to be Honky Tonk

01:12:08.579 --> 01:12:11.060
Him, Teleco, All of the Kentucky, Starting Now,

01:12:11.199 --> 01:12:13.680
Woodwork, Firewatch, Better Leave Town, Real

01:12:13.680 --> 01:12:16.720
Will, Wooden Strings, Dammit Dixie, Stone, Nobody,

01:12:16.960 --> 01:12:18.760
and Up the Holler. So if you know those songs,

01:12:18.859 --> 01:12:20.699
I'm excited to tell you that they're coming out

01:12:20.699 --> 01:12:22.119
on the next album. If you don't know those songs,

01:12:22.199 --> 01:12:24.199
get on YouTube or my Facebook and go down the

01:12:24.199 --> 01:12:25.159
rabbit hole because it's the only place you can

01:12:25.159 --> 01:12:27.380
go. Or come to one of my shows. You get to hear

01:12:27.380 --> 01:12:30.699
them real live. Yeah, the plants are struggling

01:12:30.699 --> 01:12:33.319
right now because it's really, really hot. Surely

01:12:33.319 --> 01:12:35.020
you're right. This has been a fun night. I'm

01:12:35.020 --> 01:12:36.180
glad the way I got to sit together. Maybe just

01:12:36.180 --> 01:12:38.340
sitting at the porch at the kitchen table is

01:12:38.340 --> 01:12:40.760
a different thing. It's a whole different vibe.

01:12:41.020 --> 01:12:47.619
It's a whole different view. So. I might do different

01:12:47.619 --> 01:12:49.439
videos from different perspectives on the porch.

01:12:49.680 --> 01:12:51.800
You can see the chair I normally sit in over

01:12:51.800 --> 01:12:55.640
here by Jesus. And then, you know. But now I'm

01:12:55.640 --> 01:13:00.640
sitting over here. So. Whatever. In the meantime,

01:13:00.779 --> 01:13:01.939
I'm going to get in there and fix me something

01:13:01.939 --> 01:13:03.539
to eat because it's only 11 o 'clock and I bet

01:13:03.539 --> 01:13:04.720
that I could eat something else before I went

01:13:04.720 --> 01:13:06.619
to bed. Now that I finally got a little bit of

01:13:06.619 --> 01:13:08.960
an appetite. I haven't had an appetite for anything

01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:10.300
all day. It's been too hot and my head's been

01:13:10.300 --> 01:13:13.859
hurting. Poor Molly. Your cilantro just shriveled

01:13:13.859 --> 01:13:15.880
up and disappeared. Girl, don't get me started

01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:17.520
on my squash and zucchini. The rabbits have done

01:13:17.520 --> 01:13:19.699
ate it and I'm so upset about it. So I'm going

01:13:19.699 --> 01:13:20.680
to have to go to the farmer's market this week

01:13:20.680 --> 01:13:22.359
and get zucchini so I can make zucchini relish

01:13:22.359 --> 01:13:25.560
and zucchini bread. Sarah's watching while she's

01:13:25.560 --> 01:13:27.520
at work. Just don't get caught. I don't want

01:13:27.520 --> 01:13:30.520
to get you in trouble. I don't want to get Sarah

01:13:30.520 --> 01:13:34.840
in trouble for watching Facebook at work. I'm

01:13:34.840 --> 01:13:36.680
just giving you shit. I hope that you're having

01:13:36.680 --> 01:13:39.260
a good night. Alright, friends. Well, that's

01:13:39.260 --> 01:13:40.579
all I know from my side of the mountain. We've

01:13:40.579 --> 01:13:45.319
colored in the map. And, uh, Martha, you sound

01:13:45.319 --> 01:13:46.659
like a country song and we need to be better

01:13:46.659 --> 01:13:48.520
friends. You kind of sound like my Aunt Connie,

01:13:48.699 --> 01:13:52.029
actually. That's fantastic. So, I'm tickled that

01:13:52.029 --> 01:13:54.109
you're here. If you want to come to a show, find

01:13:54.109 --> 01:13:55.750
out where I'm going to be on my website. If you

01:13:55.750 --> 01:13:57.449
haven't got merchandise yet, that's also on there

01:13:57.449 --> 01:13:59.250
at the same time. So, you can get your t -shirt

01:13:59.250 --> 01:14:01.250
and come to a show. If you haven't seen a place

01:14:01.250 --> 01:14:03.029
near you that we're playing, then reach out and

01:14:03.029 --> 01:14:06.590
say, hey, I want you to come play here. And we'll

01:14:06.590 --> 01:14:09.710
make it happen. So, in the meantime, if you see

01:14:09.710 --> 01:14:11.189
somebody from your state or in your neck of the

01:14:11.189 --> 01:14:13.449
woods, reach out and make friends. Go sit on

01:14:13.449 --> 01:14:15.029
the porch together. Go have lunch at the Cracker

01:14:15.029 --> 01:14:16.489
Barrel. Go have a drink at the Wendy's. I don't

01:14:16.489 --> 01:14:20.420
know. Have fun. Get to know each other. Do things

01:14:20.420 --> 01:14:22.300
that are intrinsically human. That's the only

01:14:22.300 --> 01:14:27.539
way that we beat the robots. So, I love you guys

01:14:27.539 --> 01:14:29.220
so much. Keep your Bibles open and your pad or

01:14:29.220 --> 01:14:30.279
dryer on your head on a swivel because people

01:14:30.279 --> 01:14:31.819
are acting crazy this day and age. Be nice to

01:14:31.819 --> 01:14:33.319
old people, animals, and children. Remember to

01:14:33.319 --> 01:14:34.640
check them in the heat. Give them water twice

01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:36.739
a day. Not just old people and children, but

01:14:36.739 --> 01:14:40.220
animals as well. Shade. Frequent breaks. It's

01:14:40.220 --> 01:14:42.600
hot outside. Love your neighbor. If you can't

01:14:42.600 --> 01:14:44.720
give it to God, He loves you and I do too. And

01:14:44.720 --> 01:14:45.880
there's nothing that you can do about it. Until

01:14:45.880 --> 01:14:47.899
the meantime. Until we see each other again.

01:14:48.560 --> 01:14:51.520
Remember friends. I'm Sarah Beth Terry. And you're

01:14:51.520 --> 01:14:52.359
not. Good night.