Hi, I'm Travis. And I'm Emma. This is Bestie
Approved. Hello. Hello. It's been so long. How's
it? I guess it has been for us. Since we recorded.
Yeah, it's been a couple weeks because I was
sick. Yeah. I feel really annoying because the
last thing I listened to was, yet again, Pierce
the Veil, but it's a cover of Just the Way You
Are by Bruno Mars. It's if you like it, I love
it. I was just on my walk. Where was my last
song? It was. You know, it was Body High by Mike
Taylor. Yeah, the last song I listened to was
Body High by Mike Taylor. Beautiful. Here we
go. So we have a lot today. Today's going to
be it's going to be a wild ride. You want to
start with. Well, let's let's start with the
last update our dear listener got about you was
that you didn't get to go to Louisiana. Yeah.
OK, so my car is fixed now. Thank God, because
it's a million degrees outside and I was literally
dying and I was just picturing myself like picking
Jack up from school every day. And it being a
million degrees, the hottest part of the day
and no AC in my car. And now I don't have to
do that, which is beautiful. Today is Jack's
first day of school, first day of first grade.
How are you doing with that? How do you feel
about that? I'm sad. Are you? Yeah. I asked my
mom when it's going to get better. Like, when
does it not feel so sad? And she was like, high
school. Really? I feel like. it would like inherently
feel more sad in high school because it's like
that we're almost we're almost there like this
is almost over yeah but like you have a bratty
teenager who's going from a sophomore to a junior
it's like yeah okay she's she did say it's you
feel the same feeling again at college obviously
um but yeah so last The pregnancy update I gave,
I was only like 19 weeks or something. I think
August was the size of a papaya at the last one.
Oh, so it was two weeks ago, so I was probably
like 20 weeks. Yes, you were measuring it. You
were 19 weeks, but you were measuring it 20.
Yes. Yeah, I'm 22 weeks now and I take back everything
I say about feeling mostly normal. I feel like
shit. hate that i well i was sick for a couple
weeks a week really and then the back pain began
i have scoliosis dear listener it's pretty mild
honestly but it sucks when i'm pregnant oh my
god because like your spine stretches out right
and like Are you bending forward when you're
pregnant? Because you feel like you're leaning
forward, right? Well, yes and no. You can keep
your posture, but you're so misshapen. And also,
your joints are more flexible than they're supposed
to be, really. Because your body releases this
hormone that I think I've talked about before
that loosens up. All of your joints. It can't
just, like, target your uterus. It's everything.
Oh, is this, like, the reason why a lot of women
have problems with calcium or, like, their bones
after they have a baby or, like, their teeth
and stuff? Is that related at all? They're not
eating enough calcium, probably. Okay. But it
is why, like, you'll hear some women talk about
going up a shoe size after they have a baby and
stuff like that. Like, everything spreads out.
All of your bones. Really? Yeah. That is fucking
wild. So I have scoliosis and I have hip issues
and they don't appreciate that at all. Yeah,
that's the biggest update, really. I'm excited
for my belly band to arrive. It's me, my heating
pad, and my maternity pillow against the world.
What's a maternity pillow? It's like... basically
a huge u -shaped body pillow so that you don't
lay on your back because you're supposed to stay
on your side and also you can put it in between
your legs so like your hip is supported while
you're sleeping oh i love this it is so comfortable
and i got this one that's like supposed to stay
really cold and it actually does it's like that
material that's like It's perpetually 10 degrees
colder than the room. Love her. Do you want to
know something else? I don't understand that
technology. I don't know either. I don't know
because I had sheets that did that once and consistently
15 degrees colder than the rest of my room. It
makes me so extremely happy. Oh, right, because
I need everything to be freezing cold. My house
is freezing cold. If I could set it to 66 degrees,
I would do that. But we've agreed that the house
minimum is 68, unfortunately. And also, I can't
hear anything. You can't. I can't. And I didn't
even know that was a thing. So, dear listener,
the last time I was over at Emma's house, we
were watching Modern Family or something, just
something for background noise before we recorded.
And I already get overstimulated as it is, but
like the TV was so loud and like I kept saying
to myself, it's it's got to be me. Surely I'm
the problem. Like surely to God. I just think
it's too loud. And I said to Emma, can you turn
it down like just just a hair? And I look and
it was up at like 32 or something insane. And
I was like, oh, it's just really loud. And then
she turns it down to like. And she's like, I
can't hear it now. I literally can't. I don't
know. I just like I didn't even know this was
a thing for me. But apparently I did this when
I was pregnant with Jack, too, where I just had
everything loud as shit. Like I think I talked
about living with my mom when I was pregnant.
She said like she couldn't hear her own TV upstairs
if I was watching TV downstairs because my. I
just can't hear anything. And I, my theory is
the increase in blood flow. I think it's blocking
my hearing. I just Googled it. And hearing loss
and tinnitus can occur in pregnancy due to hormonal
and circulatory changes as well as other medical
conditions. I do have tinnitus, I found out,
unfortunately. It's like the... They're ringing
in the ear, right? Yeah, mine is not a ringing
in my ear. My ears do ring a lot, but the one
I get every single day and like multiple times
a day is like a thumping. It feels like my eardrum
is like being triggered by something, but there's
no noise. It feels like a heartbeat almost. The
way I would like go in and poke my eardrum out
with a Q -tip, I could not handle that. There's
no way. It's not, like, constant for me, so it's
not bad. I know people have it, like, really,
really bad and all the time. Yeah, it is annoying,
though. It feels weird. I feel weird, like, hearing
that out loud. Like, I'm uncomfortable with that.
It feels like when you have water in your ear.
You know what I'm talking about? I do. Yeah,
it's like I have to get earplugs for when I swim
because I cannot handle that feeling. Like, it's
the most uncomfortable feeling. Oh, my God. Last
time I went swimming, I had water in my ear for,
like, six hours. Like we came home from swimming
and I was like, dang, I really can't get this
water out of my ear. And I was I woke up from
literally sleeping in the middle of the night
and the water was still in my ear. And I was
like, OK, I'm going to get an ear infection.
And so I literally hung my head off the side
of my bed like a bat until it came out. And it
finally did. And the relief from that is really
an amazing feeling. I love that. Yeah. I love
that. Um, we have a lot today. Um, where do you
start? You want to start? Oh, fun fact. We got
listeners in Australia and Argentina recently.
Love that. The A's, the A countries. Oh, we can
work our way down the alphabet. I love that.
I've never been to Argentina. We could do that
too. I've never been anywhere in South America.
I've only been to Central America. Yeah. I would
love to go. I would too. Next is Brazil because
that's a B. There are other Bs. Belize, Belgium.
Belgium. We have a listener in Belgium. So we
already have a B. Yes, we have a B. It's time
for C. OK, we can start with the heavy thing
first. And I. I went back and forth about talking
about this, but and I actually wrote out a little
script because. Like, I don't know, I just it's
it's a lot, so buckle up. In the past, I've taken
the position that I want to keep the show lighthearted
and fun to avoid talking about some of the real
issues that we have going on in our country right
now. And I think that's an irresponsible choice
today. Earlier this week on Tuesday, August 5th,
the Department of Homeland Security announced
a new partnership with the state of Indiana to
expand ICE detention facilities with what we're
calling the Speedway Slammer in Indiana. Kristi
Noem posted a statement on. twitter about indiana's
version of alligator alcatraz saying today we're
announcing a new partnership with the state of
indiana to expand the tension bed space by a
thousand beds thanks to governor braun for his
partnership to help remove the worst of the worst
out of our country if you were in america illegally
you could find yourself in speedway or in indiana
speedway slamer avoid arrest now or i'm sorry
avoid arrest and self -deport now using the cbp
home app Governor Mike Braun gave the following
statement to Fox News. We're proud to work with
President Trump and Secretary Noem as they remove
the worst of the worst with this innovative partnership.
Indiana is taking a comprehensive and collaborative
approach to combating illegal immigration and
will continue to lead the way amongst states.
Before we go any further, what are your thoughts?
Boo. I literally just don't understand it. We
have literal murderers and pedophiles and people
like that. And you're saying the worst of the
worst are people who are seeking asylum. It's.
The thing that like really stood out to me, well,
because I'm not going to lie, like I spiraled
over this yesterday, like I woke up, I saw this
on TikTok and like I. well it's so triggering
yeah like i was like for the next four and a
half hours i was like putting this together because
i was so mad um it is the way they talk about
these men women and children is the most dehumanizing
disgusting rhetoric that i've ever heard in my
life and just can't understand i just can't understand
it and then you you're telling them to get on
some app to take them back to the hell that they
were experiencing that they to make them think
that this country would be better what happened
to being a melting pot what happened to what
happened to the Whole point of America. What
happens? I don't understand. So. Yeah, I don't
know. I like and that's the thing. I don't know
the answer to that question. But, you know, while
we're on the topic of Indiana leading the way
among states, I want to take a look at where
we stack up in a few areas. Indiana's number
40 on the list of like. ranking of most educated
states across the United States. Our economy
is also number 40 with a job growth rate at less
than half of the national average. We're dead
last for natural environment attributes with
26 more days with unhealthy air quality and three
times. More industrial toxins in the air than
national averages. Oh, my God. I had no idea
about that, by the way, about how bad the air
quality is. Oh, it's horrific. Until my grandma
has been paying attention to it and she'll text
me. And it's literally like almost every day
where it's like, hold your breath if you go outside.
If you ever look at the weather app, it will
tell you there's an air quality thing. And I
was like, I swear, I thought that was like a
glitch for the longest time. I was like, there's
no way at the end. the air in indiana is that
bad no it's because we have no environmental
regulation in indiana it's horrible it's so bad
yeah so no regulation and then so many farms
and so we're just like kicking up dirt and dust
and chemicals and who knows what else right all
the time anyway and then Our Hoosier health is
also problematic with our health care quality
ranked at number 37, public health ranked number
42 and obesity rates higher than the national
average. So this whole leading the way conversation,
I think, is I'm so sick of this like exceptionalism
argument where it's like, oh, we're the best
and we need it like shut down. Like we're not.
America's not right now in a lot of areas like
we have to just like we're not living in reality.
And I'm so sick of like. Taking these issues
where it's like we're literally going to destroy
people's lives. We're going to ruin families.
We're going to rip families apart. And this is
how we're successful. And that's how we'll be
first. We'll be the best state at being the worst.
Yeah. Like what? Like what the fuck? And so I
also. Really want to drive this point home. People
are not illegal. Being an undocumented person
in the United States is a civil violation rather
than a criminal offense. Under U .S. code, entering
the country without inspection by immigration
officials is illegal, as is reentering the country
after being deported. But simply existing is
not a crime, and data released by the Census
Bureau and Pew Research estimates that roughly
45 % of undocumented immigrants did not enter
the United States illegally. I'm just going to
say, even if you did. I don't care. Even if you
did. I do. I care about you and I hope you are
doing well. Sure. Because I don't think there's
any circumstance where you are entering a country
illegally. You cannot wait for the paperwork.
You cannot wait to be cleared. I don't think
there's any circumstance where that is your first
choice. No. No one wants to do that. Well, the
thing that I struggle with is like you. We're
telling people, well, you have to go about it
in the right way. OK, the process for someone
to naturalize themselves in the United States
is the most insanely complicated process. It's
incredibly long. It is. And then we're at the
point where we're sending ICE agents to courthouses
to pick these people up while they're trying
to do exactly what we've told them to do. It's
insane. We have a family friend whose wife, they
are married, is from Germany. They've been married
upwards of two years now, and she still doesn't
have her citizenship. It is incredibly lengthy
to become a citizen, let alone just immigrate.
It's not as simple as you think, and if you have...
Whatever it is, cartels burning your city down
or terrorism or whatever the case may be, it
is our duty to offer asylum, especially if we're
going to go poking our noses in every other country
in the world. We're going to have an embassy
everywhere you can think of. We're going to stick
our ugly white noses into every single problem
that exists. Throughout the world. And then we're
going to say, oh, but we are not going to help
those who need it. It's disgusting. It is. And,
you know, you have this this party of Christian
white nationalists who. Love to talk about Jesus
in the Bible and like, you know, how you need
to have religion and like the Ten Commandments
in schools or whatever. And I want to ask you
right now, first of all, with who you believe
Jesus was. Would you have seen him at the store
and been like, oh, yeah, he belongs in the United
States? I saw a thing about this on TikTok not
too long ago about somebody said, if Jesus came
back right now, most Christians would reject
him. Yes. Yeah. I'm not trying to make it like
a left versus right thing, but like this is inherently
where we are today. Who do you think Jesus would
have voted for in this election? I mean, come
on. You're going to tell me Jesus doesn't believe
in socialism and helping those who need it. I
don't I don't think it's about socialism like
in this in this case. But like, I think for me,
it's just like. Something when Jesus said was
like that, I what is it that the poorest among
us, like the worst among us or whatever, I am
this person like he identified with the marginalized
people. And that's kind of the whole thing is
to stand up for people who need help. And I just
don't understand how we've come to this place
where we can be so heartless and so cruel to
these people to where we're literally building
a compound in the Everglades in Florida and putting
people there and then bringing in alligators
or maybe the alligators were already there. I
don't know. That story is muddy, too. But we're
excited that if these people try to escape from
this facility, they will be eaten by alligators.
Like, fuck you. I mean, so and then going on
to alligator alcatraz while we're talking about
it. This place was constructed in the Florida
Everglades with in just eight days under a state
of emergency declared by Ron DeSantis, which
allowed for the bypass of typical regulations
that should have been in place. Concerns have
been raised about the facility, including allegations
of detainees being held without charges and being
barred from meeting with their attorneys. And
a former corrections officer who worked at the
facility described the conditions as being inhumane,
with people being held in cages with no sunlight,
limited access to showers and being overwhelmed
with mosquitoes. And Jesus Christ, I mean. Let
me just take this time now to tell you, you have
a right to an attorney. It's not a privilege.
You have a right. You cannot. This is the thing
is they're they're trying to argue over the citizenship
and like whether or not the Constitution applies
to you. And that's like we've declared that habeas
corpus applies to people within the borders of
the United States, regardless of your. Your status.
Like and we're arguing over whether or not people
are entitled to basic human dignity at this point.
And then. And I'm going to say I'm I'm not going
to pretend like we do not have. A need to reform
the immigration system, like a complete and total
overhaul, and I think it's irresponsible to.
To say that we don't we don't need to do that.
But I don't think this approach like we're taking
a fucking sledgehammer to an upholstery nail
here. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. Do you know
what? Like, we should abolish ice. And that's
where I am. That we're not doing anything in
a way that the founding fathers. imagine no when
writing this in the constitution no we are not
respecting people we are not i i just can't wrap
my head around being like yeah that's my country
and supporting that but like what is why is like
why is it so exciting to be like if if someone
does a crime Yes. Do do deal with that. Please
deal with that. Like deal with someone doing
a crime that like hurt someone, whatever. I'm
not saying we should have anarchy. Right. But
Jesus Christ, most immigrants are people who
want to work and they want to do the jobs that
we don't. To be frank with you. And they're not
these criminals. No. I saw a woman. On TikTok,
again, I've been spending a lot of my time on
TikTok, apparently. That's okay. This woman arguing
with her Republican friend who was like, illegal
immigrants are responsible for something like
4 % of the crimes in America. Like, in total.
Big total. Men? are responsible for 85%. I'm
sure. They take up approximately 50 % of the
population and their crime rate is over 85%.
So if you actually wanted to stand on crime being
a concern of yours, you're saying there are too
many criminals in America. Why aren't you digging
into why men commit most of the crimes? That's
the thing. It's not about the crime. It's not
it's never about what we say it's about. It's
about having this idealized version of what you
want America to look like. And it comes back
to what I was talking about with the Heritage
Foundation a couple of weeks ago, where you have
this vision of like, I want it to be this traditional,
like this thing that like exists in my mind.
And I want the world to look this way. And if
it doesn't look this way, I'm. i'm gonna i'm
gonna kill someone basically and i i for the
life of me i don't get it because it's it's it's
never it's not about the baby it's about controlling
women it's not about it's not about crime it's
about making sure that america is white it's
a racist thing it's it's a it's a supremacy thing
it's what it is they're racist that's all it
is oh and that's the thing is like we're saying
we're not targeting specific races but i'm just
like oh really because i feel like an illegal
immigrant from europe is a lot less likely to
be deported oh yeah they wouldn't know it's like
i but again i come back to this this this thing
over and over and over again of like these people
aren't hurting you these people are not hurt
like yes grand there is there's a bad apple in
every bunch like it is it is It's impossible
to say that, yes, every single person crossing
any border or flying into the country or boating
here or like coming over. I don't care where
they're coming from. I don't care how they're
getting here. But like, it's impossible to say
that everyone is going to be an angel. But you
couldn't say that about any group of people ever.
You couldn't be like you couldn't say any group
of adults you gather for any reason at any geographical
location ever. they're all gonna be angels you
can't no right but it's like you okay so you
take the oh god the lake and riley that that
situation which granted was horrible but you
take that and then you make that the reason why
we must deport everyone now and it's insane but
also on the other side of that it was like the
it just it was in the same year when when later
The Brian Koperker situation happened. Why are
we deporting him? Why are we deporting... I think
I just said why a few minutes ago. That's the
question I ask. If it's about crime, why aren't
we dealing with the crime? Yeah. People aren't
worried about crime. If they were worried about
crime, they would have to persecute men. And
that's something we'll never do. So... So I'm
but dear listener, I'm going to put some resources
in the show notes because I do think this is
something with the building of of what a Speedway
slammer. Jesus. And that's the other thing to
call these little names like fuck you. Disgusting.
Like it's disgusting. Like. And I. I know I've
said like I've said it before. Trump is a marketing
genius. Like this is where this is. This is where
I'm drawing the line is like I can't have these
like. Because it's I'm not going to let that
cloud the judgment anymore of like, oh, he's
funny. Oh, he's this. He's that. Like, no, we're
literally talking about like you're making a
mockery of what you're doing to these people.
Like these are these are people. Your wife's
an immigrant, by the way. Yeah. Your fucking
wife's an immigrant. Fuck you. And I just I mean.
Listen, the man is funny. And if he were a drag
queen, I would be a huge fan. I'd give him a
dollar. But he's not. He decided to be the fucking
president of the United States. Right. And he's
disgusting. And that fucking bitch, Kristi Noem,
don't get me fucking started on that fucking
Barbie little cunt. Like, we're, it's, she, and
this is, this is the thing that I struggle with,
with this entire administration. For the most
part, this entire administration. I can't tell
if they actually believe the crock of bullshit
they're trying to sell the American people or
if. If they're deluded into believing it. Do
you think so? I think they know that they're
spinning the story and they are just as dark
and evil as you imagine them to be. And this
is where I'm conflicted because what's the the.
Caroline Leavitt, because like at one point I
felt genuinely bad for this girl who like had
to get up in front of the American people every
single day and try and sell Donald Trump's crock
of bullshit to the American people. And then
like I saw the way she started treating the reporters.
And I was like, is she acting that way because
like she's like so triggered or is she acting
that way because she actually feels this way?
And like that's the thing is I can't tell. Like
I cannot tell. With Sean Spicer at least. She's
not trapped there. She's not trapped there. Oh,
you're not wrong, but... She could go work for
Fox News any day she wanted to. Oh, God, I thought
this... Like, and they'd love her, because what
a good liar she is. Right. Like, she's chosen
this position. I do not feel pity. No. But, yeah,
I'm gonna... Dear listener, I'm gonna put some
resources in the show notes. Write to... Literally
any legislator you can call them there. I will
put a link to find who your legislator is in
Indiana and outside of Indiana, because like
this is if you think it's going to stop in Florida
and Indiana, that's going to be the end of it.
Like, I mean, here I was like I was like, oh,
this will never happen to us. And here we are.
We talked about what happened in California.
That was a month ago, maybe. Yeah. Just insanity.
Right. Insanity. We're living through history
and it is not looking fine. It's not looking
good. And then for the love of God, just vote.
Like, please, please, please vote. Because like
Jesus Christ, like. Yeah. Even if you feel like
your vote doesn't matter, the number will be
in the history books of the number of citizens
who didn't agree with what's happening. Oh, yeah.
And then I'm going to close out this incredibly
heavy segment with this. The Oxford English Dictionary
defines the term concentration camp as a place
where large numbers of people, especially political
prisoners or members of persecuted minorities,
are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small
area with inadequate facilities. That's where
I'm leaving that. Yep. And I'm going to tell
this isn't the first time America. Has done this.
No, it hasn't. That's the thing. Pearl Harbor
happened and we locked down every Asian person
we can find. They didn't even have to be Japanese.
No, it's there. So, yeah. Yeah. It's gross. It
is. It's gross. All right. Anyway. Moving on.
Here we go. Babletics can go fuck themselves.
No, I'm actually obsessed with this diva. Tell
them your story. So you guys know I'm going to
Dallas. It was it next week? Yeah, next week
for the podcast movement 2025. And I. This has
been what, like six months ago, I got a membership
to Fabletics because I saw at the mall they had
like three pairs of shorts for eighteen dollars.
And I was like, oh, let me just sign right up
for that. I go in and they like sell you the
membership. It's like fifty nine dollars a month
or something. And then they just keep charging
your credit card. But you get a credit to use
on whatever you want each month. And. I had never
used one up until this point, so I was like,
let me let me buy some clothes for the plane
and like if they have anything for Dallas. Great.
So I go on the app. I order a couple of outfits.
And by the way, what Validics is, they think
it's really, really fun to do this. There's a
line item for everything you buy that is that
says tariff fee or it's very specifically references
tariffs. And it pisses me off because that's
that's not how it's supposed to work. Like you
are not supposed to just like charge line items
for tariffs. But that's just raise their prices
like everyone. They could or they could accept
like, hey, you've already paid for the credit
for the item. Well, I think you're seeing the
same price for everything as someone without
a membership would anyway. I I so that's the
thing is like they try and con you into not using
the membership and you get cheaper prices. So
like you just keep accruing the credits, I guess.
I don't the whole thing is a racket. But I. Ordered
the outfits online and. I wake up this morning
and I get a shipping confirmation. It says, oh,
your order's on its way. And at the very top,
it says shipping address. And then there's an
address I do not recognize. And I said, oh, no.
And at the bottom of the email, it says, for
questions or for help with your order, please
call this number 24 -7. I said, I'm going to
call them right now. You bet. You're asking well.
I immediately thought to myself, I, I must've
done something wrong. Like, I know I didn't enter
the address incorrectly, but you know, like when
you're typing in an address, like, and it'll
like give you suggestions of like addresses,
like with the same numbers in it. I, I was like,
maybe I clicked on it or so. I don't know. So
I'm like waiting on hold for, and I'm not exaggerating
26 minutes for someone to pick up the fucking
phone at fabletics. I get someone on the phone
and. And while I'm waiting, I thought to myself,
let me go back and look at the original order
like confirmation just just to see if I missed
it the first time I go back. The right address
is on that email. And so I. When the woman picks
up the phone, I was like, I tried to explain
to her what was going on, and I said, hey, I
got an email with like the shipping confirmation,
but it has the wrong address on it and I'm not
really sure what happened. Can you help me? And
she goes. I don't know. She was so perfect in
everything that she did. If I didn't hate her
so much, I actually would love this woman. She's
such a diva. You've never met someone who cares
about fabletics less than this woman. Oh, yeah.
So she goes, I don't know. And I said, OK, so
where are we at here? And she goes. Well, did
you put in the wrong address? And I was like,
no, that's the thing. I'm looking at the original
order confirmation and it's got the right address
in it. And she goes, do you have a screenshot
of that? And I said, hang on a second. Do you
do you not have the original email that you sent
me? She goes, that's a different department.
And I said, of course it is. And we're not connected
to them whatsoever. I said, can we get them on
the horn? And she goes, no. funniest thing she
ever could have said i love her so much we worked
in a call center and i wish i would have just
said that more no that is not me and no i cannot
connect you to the person who it is and i said
okay um so i guess what do we do she goes you'll
have to wait to receive the order and i said
receive it where like i don't know where this
address is i'm just gonna show up to someone's
house like what well so the address is it doesn't
exist i don't know where i don't know where this
town in indiana is and Like you're really going
to be some porch pirate for some for some clothes.
Oh, my God. I was like and then I thought to
myself, OK, maybe this woman doesn't understand
what I'm trying to explain to her. So I proceed.
I said, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's take
a step back. I'm I'm going to tell you from my
perspective what happened. And you tell me if
you're on the same page as me. So I said I placed
an order on Fabletics. I. Entered the address
for my shipping address that was already part
of my profile, by the way, because I don't even
think I entered an address. And then I said I
received an order confirmation with the correct
shipping address in the order confirmation. I
then receive an email with a shipping confirmation
that says it's shipping to a different address.
Tell me where the breakdown is here for me. I
bet it's when they printed the shipping label.
I bet you anything when they printed the shipping
label, it's exactly what you thought you did
for a second. And it like auto filled an address
and they were like, yeah, that looks right. See,
I just I swear to God, I assumed every bit of
this was automated and like it just spat out
like a shipping label or something like that.
I don't I don't think I don't know. I don't know.
But this woman, this woman goes, I don't I don't
think you can do that. I don't think you can
just change an address. I said. Well, looks like
we're breaking all the rules. What do you mean?
She was so not even unhelpful. It was like the
most indifferent stance I've ever seen in my
life. And she goes, you'll just have to return
it when you receive it. And I said, get me a
manager. Like, what do you mean? First of all,
I'm not going to receive it. And the clothes
are not the problem, mama. I was like, I don't
think you understand. I won't receive it because
I don't know where it's going. And then she goes,
my God, I said, I said, can you get, is there
any way I could speak to a manager? Because I
don't think we're on the same page and I understand
this is not your fault, but like you, you're,
we're just, we're not, we're not buying it. She
goes, because you've asked to speak to a supervisor,
I'm going to put you on hold. She's said that
line at least 10 times a day for her entire career.
I bet she has said that to every person that
has spoken to her about it. and so she um she
puts me on hold and I'm sitting there and like
I'm just kind of like annoyed because I was like
it's not like I spent money on these clothes
but but you did that's the thing is like I was
like I have given you people so much upwards
of hundreds of dollars I don't know how much
it's been but like whatever and the one time
I tried to use this membership, but it's fucked
me. So like, I don't know. And then she comes
back on the phone and she goes, sir, I've looked
into what you said happened. And it does appear
that that happened. And I said, thank God. But,
like, why did it take so long for you to look
into it, girl? But also, why am I still talking
to you? Yeah. And then she goes, as a courtesy,
this is what pissed me off. Like, this is what
really got me. As a courtesy, we can reship your
items and it'll be free of charge. And I said,
okay, couple things. One, yes, you will. Obviously,
that was. First of all, the bare minimum. That
was the lowest bar. Miss Diva, that is what I
assumed was going to happen. Two. Well, no, what
I assumed would happen was I just got the shipping
confirmation. So I assumed FedEx hadn't even
picked it up yet. So I was like, just go fucking
find the label and put another sticker on it.
I don't care. But then she. Then and like and
then number two, when you say as a courtesy to
someone. A courtesy is when. You get free shit.
You get free shit. And like, if I'm the customer,
I fucked something up. So as a courtesy, we're
going to look the other way about you fucking
up. A courtesy is not. No, we fucked up your
order. We did something wrong. And now as a courtesy,
we're fixing. No, no, you're correcting your
problem. You're being a business. Yes. That fulfills
orders. Yes. Which is kind of what I assumed
you were already. I thought that's what we thought.
And what are we doing? So then I proceed to be
on the phone with this woman. And she goes, and
as as also a courtesy, we'll give you 50 percent
off of one of the items. And I said, I paid for
it with a membership. So. My God. OK, OK, so.
The whole thing was a racket and I spent it was
an hour of my morning that I am never getting
back. But like I can definitively tell you I'm
never shopping there again. I never really liked
Fabletics. I don't know what the men's side is
like, because I know Kenny has some shorts from
there that are like good shorts. That's fine.
But on the women's side, everything has a weird
effed up. pattern or colorway like nothing is
just a basic and i hate that i hate that it reminds
me a lot of what was that legging company um
the one that was a cult or not a cult but yeah
the one that was like it was a pyramid scheme
and like it was these leggings that people were
obsessed with lularoe Oh. Do you remember this?
No. I'll cut that. Was it in the galaxy legging
era? No. Yes. Yes, it was. Yeah. They were the
galaxy leggings. I see. Yes. I. Anyway. So, yeah.
Fuck you. You are not bestie approved. No, you
were bestie denied. Yeah. We have a couple shout
outs. So my friend Elena is. a bestie proof super
fan she says she loves our relationship and like
she loves to listen to us talk i think that is
so cute and then my friend cory um he and his
partner were listening to us and he said that
they were just having a time listening to us
and i was like I think I thought it would be
weird, like, having people in our lives that
listen to the show. Oh, I'm humiliated. Are you
really? Yes. I don't know why. I also feel like,
like, posting on Instagram to me is a humiliation
ritual. Like, that's so embarrassing. Oh, when
we start doing video, I'm going to feel the same
way. About like Amanda has listened and my mom
has listened and I'm just like so embarrassed.
I'm like, I'm just talking. I don't know. I don't
like, I want people to listen, but it is the
equivalent to me like equally as embarrassing
as posting anything on the internet. I don't
know. I felt, I think I, I thought I would feel
the same way. Like. but now that i'm like oh
people are like super cool and supportive and
like people listen oh also alex says that you
sound like megan stelter oh which i think is
it i mean i think that's a compliment i love
her so much yeah he like literally just texted
me that today but yeah that's uh so thanks to
my friends for being an amazing and supportive
group of friends i love that and then we also
um our first commenter ever jordan That we didn't
know last week or two weeks ago, whatever it
was. Love him. He's also one of the winners for
the podcast movement scholarship things. And
he hosts a podcast called What's Your One Thing?
And it's all about being like the best version
of yourself. Speaking of which, I was thinking
about his podcast earlier today. There's this
thing called like. He would know much more about
this. It's called like Occam's razor or something.
And you're supposed to like determine your life's
razor, like your one purpose in life, which is
like what his podcast does. Anyway, I was just
thinking about that. I had like heard of that
before and I finally pinned it. It's like a very
helpful tool, especially for people in leadership
and people who are overwhelmed. Oh, cute. Well,
we can ask him about it because he's going to
be coming on the pod. We're going to hang out
in Dallas. He's actually such a sweetheart. He's
so cool. He's so funny. So he's going to be a
guest eventually. So that's exciting. Yeah. Love.
So shout out to my friends. Yay, friends. Speaking
of divas. Jen Shaw and Elizabeth Holmes have
a new prison mate. I. hope they bully the shit
out of her. I feel like Jen Shaw and Elizabeth
Holmes are about to be the meanest they've ever
been in their lives. And you know I'm not an
advocate of bullying but god damn if there ever
was going to be one. Glenn Maxwell is joining
Jen Shaw and Elizabeth Holmes and she is about
to be a victim for the first time in her life.
I was watching something on TikTok or YouTube,
something where they were like, do you think
Jen Shaw is going to beat the living fuck out
of her? Like, do you think Jen, like, cause like
you, you remember like how she would like, and
this was very big in the first season where she
would like Hulk out and just start screaming
at people for no reason. Like, I want to know
if Jen will do that to Ghislaine Maxwell. A hundred
percent. I don't think she'll do anything physical
because I think she's. She's ready to get out
in 2026. Yeah. She really wants to get out of
prison, but I. Do you feel like she's going to
be mean as hell? So in some of the I don't know.
I know it is in men's prisons. I don't know how
it is in women's prisons, but like in men's prisons,
like if someone has done like horrendous crimes,
like especially to kids. Yes. My understanding
is sometimes the guards just don't know what
happened. Yeah. So. My only kind of knowledge
about women's prison is this woman on TikTok
who talks about her time in prison. Is it the
woman that like shows you how to make makeup
from? No, she just talks about like people she
was locked up with because she was in this prison
in Florida that has a lot of like really insane
people in it. And it is the same. If you have
harmed children, good luck. And actually, bad
luck to you. 100%. This is the thing. It's not
alleged anymore because she was convicted of
her crimes. I wish nothing but the worst for
you. 100%. And I hope that Jen Shaw has a really
bad day with you. Oh, really bad one. And she
has a little henchman now because you're not
going to tell me for one second that Elizabeth
Holmes is running that show. Oh, you know, they're
plotting their next fraud together. They're like,
yeah. And Jen Shaw might not believe in elderly
rights, but she will stand up for children. I
do believe that. I 100 % believe because if nothing
else, like we joke about the Jen Shaw situation.
I do believe at the end of the day, she's probably
a really good mom. And I do believe that in the
back of her mind, at some point, she's like,
I have to protect kids. I, yeah, I don't think
she's all in all a bad person. I know that she
did bad things. Yeah, she fucked up. But she's
nowhere near Ghislaine Maxwell. Jesus. Yeah.
Yeah. So today's Jack's first day of first grade.
How was school supply shopping? fine did you
happy to do it okay so i've seen a lot on tiktok
about um about parents being mad about i guess
school i i don't remember this from when i was
a kid but i guess schools are putting on the
list like don't label your kids stuff or whatever
that wasn't on our list but i know people are
saying that i don't remember everything being
so communal When we were in school, I like like
I feel like your box of pencils was your box
of pencils and your dry erase markers were your
dry erase markers kind of. But I also don't have
a problem with what we're doing anyway. So I
guess I I don't understand because I don't have
kids. I do know that I love school supply time
because I do love nothing more than to go buy
like a really big package of pens. So I like
I have good pens. I don't I don't understand
what the argument is here. So like you're saying,
OK, so you're not labeling stuff. So it's all
like when you send the stuff to the school, it's
all going into like a communal bin and like everyone's
using the same supplies. Most of it. So like,
for instance, in Jack's list, I'll give you two
examples. Jack's list. It called for three boxes
of crayons because kids run through crayons like
you would not believe. Right. One box. When we
went to, like, the open house night was meant
to go in his pencil box. Okay. The other two
boxes go in a bin for the whole class to share.
Okay. I don't have an issue with that, right?
Right. Because I know Jack will break a crayon
and need a replacement. There are other kids
who will do the same and need replacements, too.
I mean, isn't that ostensibly just like contingency
planning for when they run out of stuff? Because
the stuff you get on August 1st is not going
to last you through May 30th. Yes. And I'm not
upset about some Crayola crayons. So that's what
people are mad about. People are mad that. You're
buying a box of pencils and the box of pencils
are going in a bin and all the kids get to share
because people hate underprivileged kids, apparently.
And I'll give you another example, though. So
like this year, every kid needed a composition
notebook. Sure. We found one that had the exact
right number of pages and was ruled correctly,
like wide ruled for a first grader. And it was
a bluey one instead of just like a black and
white one. When I saw that those were going into
bins and not into their desks, I did write his
name on that one. But because that's like. But
a notebook is something that you are writing
in and like you're it's like your notebook. That's
right. That makes sense. And so when they got
handed back out, I didn't want him to see that
his bluey notebook was going to someone else.
That is an exception because everything else
is like black Expo markers. So so Jax, I guess.
So when I was. in elementary school like our
desk was our desk and like it was always our
desk no it was no one else's desk so like it's
still does he not just have his stuff in his
desk they do but then there are bins too and
the notebook was like not supposed to go in his
desk it was supposed to go in the bin And since
those once they got passed back out, I wanted
to make sure he got his. Why were they like taking
them to pass them back out? You know what I mean?
That's one of those things that like, OK, like.
It feels like we're putting too much effort into
some of this stuff. Anyway, OK, sorry. But yeah,
it's like, why do you care? I don't know. And
it's like each person was supposed to get one
tub of Play -Doh so that. When they use the Play
-Doh, they have all kinds of different colors
and they have 30 different things. Sure. And
people being up in arms, I don't know. I think
they want to put the onus on the teacher to buy
everything that is needed for the classroom.
I think that's fucking insane. It is. Why should
teachers have to pay for that? So I, two of my
cousins are teachers and love them to death.
I don't think it's their responsibility to provide
school supplies for kids because it's not their
fucking kids. If they had any type of budget,
I can understand, but they do not. They pay for
everything. Well, I don't see why it's not falling
on the school district. I don't understand why
the amount of money, especially in Hamilton County,
that we pay in property taxes. Why the fuck kids
are not like just handed a box of shit when they
get to school. I do not understand that. So there
is something where you can like sign up is through
the PTO. So it might still be parent funded for
all I know. You can just have it be like a box
is on their seat. But like, I guess what I don't
understand is like, you're mad that you're putting
stuff in. this been that other kids are going
to do you not want the other kids to use it or
do you not like are you worried that someone
else is like not going to buy something so not
everyone's putting in their fair share which
comes back to this argument like against socialism
that everyone has that like i can't really get
on board with but like it's like people who are
against free lunch right i feel like it's the
same demographic but i just like we're fighting
over fucking notebooks man like then don't buy
the notebook like what don't do whatever you
want to do i don't care but like why are you
on tiktok like screaming about it like for the
life of me i don't understand that all the ones
i've seen are parents of like young kids it's
not like we're putting texas instrument calculators
into a bin for everyone to share we're talking
about colored pencils my papa when i was in eighth
grade so this was like actually a thing in eighth
grade it was i To this day, I remember it was
a TI -36X solar calculator that we had to have
for Mr. Bridgewater's science class. We had to
have it. And well, I took like pre -calc and
stuff like that. So, yeah, like they'll tell
you a specific calculator. Yes. And I very vividly
remember being at Staples and my papal said,
some of the parents are going to be able to afford
this. And he bought four of them. Yeah. And that
is how communities should work. But we are so
far devolved from that. And this is something
you mentioned the other day is like you see parents
on TikTok talking about how like, you know, the
conversation used to be like it takes a village
to raise a kid or whatever. And like, where did
community go? And this is where it went. Like
you got so selfish. Yeah. You built the wall.
Yeah. And it's like. I don't know. How can you
not have some sense of compassion to be like,
oh, well, if I couldn't afford this, I would
really want my kid to still be able to participate.
Why can't you empathize with that? I just don't
understand it. It's a weird thing to me that
we've we've lost all sense of empathy when it
comes to things that are happening, like right
in front of us. But like when it comes to. It's
like when it comes to being pro -choice or pro
-life. It's like, think about the baby. I'm like,
when did you stop thinking about the baby then?
Tell me at what point that got cut off. As soon
as it's born. As soon as it's born. God damn.
They don't want to reform the foster care system.
They don't want to reform any of that. They just
want babies to be born for some reason. And there's
another point I've seen being made. People are
turned off by teachers sharing their Amazon wish
list. I'm going to put an Amazon wish list out
there for us just to piss these people off. Fuck
you. Every teacher should have an Amazon wish
list and they should send it to every parent.
I love Jack's teacher already. Hers is a link
in her signature of her email. She said, you
will see this. And that's beautiful. I think
that is wonderful. And I hope she gets everything
on her wish list. And I hope every teacher out
there gets everything they want on their wish
list. I would go a step further to say I don't
I wish that they didn't have to have Amazon wish
list. Like if it's something like I want to bring
in a. God, like what? One of these like cool
learning tool, like the toys that are like also
like really good for learning. I have I have
no kids. I don't fucking know. But like something
like that where it's like it's a little expensive,
but like. how many kids will benefit from it?
I can buy that for an Amazon wishlist, but I
would go one step further to say, why is the
district not like saying, Hey, let's like have
a program in which we can say, Hey, like we can
allocate dollars for these things. If there's
like a good enough use case made for it. And
I don't even need a use case. If you want decorations
for your classroom. The district should pay for
them. Period. Every teacher should get a credit
card on the district's name. You get like $500
a semester or whatever it is and like go for
it. I think they do get like, it's something
ridiculously low, like $200 a year or something
like that. What are you supposed to... To pay
for everything in their classroom. I also think
it's fucking insane that we're expecting people
to pay for things in their classroom. Like, in
what job do you have to pay for your... room
to be aesthetically usable yeah like i don't
understand it and have you and on top of that
we're paying them pennies we're paying them nothing
we're basically paying them in cole's cash but
like have you ever been inside of a fucking classroom
it's it looks like a prison cell it looks like
jen shaw lives there if you don't decorate it
yeah it looks horrible and i really commend like
jack's teacher this year her classroom so cute
i love that so so so cute And it kills me to
know that she probably spent some of her and
her husband's hard earned money to decorate like
that because it should just be a given. I don't
know why we hate giving kids enjoyable experiences.
Well, that's the thing is like you are so hell
bent on. posting the 10 commandments in the classroom
posting this posting that but like god forbid
someone else wants to do something to improve
the classroom like that's god forbid a teacher
have a rug for kids to sit on jesus h i mean
i just don't understand i don't understand but
anyway anyway yeah big teacher supporter i think
they should make probably five times what they're
making minimum uh they should make six figures
if you are a teacher especially in the public
school system you should make six figures oh
a thousand percent i think the thing that i struggle
with is like the the fact that like there there's
any argument against paying teachers what they
deserve you're literally like trusting them with
your fucking kid like come on and even if you
don't have kids like Your future politicians.
Your future policemen. The world's future. Literally
the future of the world. Just everyone. Like,
you're going to have no more engineers because
you hate teachers. What a weird hell to die on.
Yeah. And I think everyone can think of a teacher
that, like, literally changed their lives. So,
like, what a weird, weird thing. I just don't
understand. I never will. It is a wild argument,
but. Yeah, I was curious how you felt about that.
I would buy more school supplies if they asked
me to. If my sister -in -law came to me and said,
hey, some of the parents like couldn't get school
supplies, I would go buy out the rest of fucking
my school supplies section. Like some of this,
like you have to like really put things in and
the reality in which we live. And it's like some
of this stuff is not that deep. You're telling
me right now that you. Think that this is the
slippery slope to communism. This is what you're
worried about. Like, come on. And by the way,
just to like give you an idea, Jack is in first
grade, so he doesn't need anything that's like
ultra expensive. We're talking about $200 max
in school supplies. Yeah. We're not talking about
if we were having to spend $2 ,000 on school
supplies. Fine. I understand most people can't
afford that. Most people can't afford less than
$200. But also if you can't, you shouldn't be
made to feel like you're a piece of shit. Like
that's like, I know. And yeah. Okay. So like,
this is not to be interpreted as me saying, no,
no, no, no, no, no. Like, Underprivileged kids,
underprivileged kids and kids from families who
just can't afford school supplies are the reason
I support the communal bins of school supplies.
They shouldn't feel different or left out or
have to feel it in any type of way. They shouldn't
know. And this is like a bigger, a bigger argument.
I think people have really lost the plot on this.
You're if you are having money problems or you're
not having money problems, your kids shouldn't
be none the wiser. I agree. They should have
no idea how much or how little money you have.
It's not like I get like it's. You can't tell
families how to live, but like it shouldn't be
the kids struggle to. That's what I'm saying,
because you're going to send them to school with
a complex of being less than all of their peers.
A lot of kids already feel that way without you
doing that. Well, I remember being at Triton
and like I mean, I I grew up with my like, let's
just let's call it what it is. And I never knew
what it was to struggle. But like I would. Being
a lunch line with kids where the lunch lady would
start making the lunch and then like they would
look at like it was a little book or whatever.
Yeah. And their name would be highlighted and
they would just like reach under the cap or the
counter and pull out a bag with like a peanut
butter sandwich or a bologna sandwich, whatever
it was that day. And I remember the kids in line
just being mortified over that. And it was like
it was a pretty good chunk of kids because like
in Shelby County, you're either wealthy or you're.
or poor like there is no yeah there's a huge
disparity there and I remember like I didn't
I don't think I was conscious of what was happening
but then like you know you start to like grow
an understanding of it and then like I told my
papa about it one day when I came home and like
he grew up in one of the poorest poorest counties
in um they they were in Alabama and then they
moved to Kentucky but um he remembered He didn't
have shoes to wear to school at certain points
in his life. And that's when he said he just
started giving me extra money to like if someone
needed it. That's yeah, that's what it was. And
it's like and he's probably as Republican as
you can get. But I mean, Jesus Christ, if he
can get on board with some of this, like, why
can't it's like you just take care of people
like it's not some of this is not going to hurt
you. And it's and it comes back to this thing
that I'm talking about with with life is not
a zero sum game. Life is not. I have to fuck
over every other person on God's green earth
so my kid doesn't have to eat a free lunch. Like,
fuck you. I just don't understand how you can
think that way. It's like, in first grade, they
probably wouldn't really understand. But you
really want some kid to look back and be like,
oh, that's embarrassing that I had to ask for
colored pencils. Because I didn't have any and
everyone is too hateful to have it be a communal
supply. Right. Like, I just can't fathom thinking
that way. No, but like. Why would you want that?
And I it's like part of me is like, God, I hope
you never have to fucking struggle because like
I cannot imagine. how horrific it would be. But
at the same time, I'm like, no, I hope you do
struggle. Like, I hope that you fall on hard
times so you know what you put other people through.
It feels like that's the only way for some people
to, like, envision that. Some people have such
a lack of empathy, it feels like, that, like,
it really feels like the only way you would get
it is if you had to be really poor for a while.
Because then you would understand that no one's
there to help you because of people like you.
Yeah. And by the way, I was like very middle
class growing up. We struggled with money a little
bit, but not anywhere near the extent that some
people do. I never had to worry about whether
or not I was going to have school supplies. But
some people do. And that is why we've started
sharing. Well, and I think that's the thing that
I get so annoyed with is like, I'm not here to
count anyone else's money. I don't care how much
money anyone has. I don't care how much money
anyone doesn't have. The problem that I have
is like you have people on TikTok saying you
you had enough money to buy your kids shoes,
but you didn't have enough money to buy like
buy them school supplies, like whatever the case
may be. And I'm like, OK, so you're telling me.
Come on. You don't remember. You don't remember
going to school and like wanting to wear a nice
outfit or like whatever the case may have been
like you. But like, do you want these kids to
show up like with like a fucking. Like a stick
with a handkerchief tied around it and a fucking,
like, dirty. Like, what do you want from these
fucking kids? And, like, you want them to wear
shoes that are too small? Because that's what
I'm hearing. Kids outgrow their shoes. That's
what happens. I just don't understand the argument.
I get that you don't want to be taken advantage
of. Let me say that. No one wants to be taken
advantage of. However, how could this possibly
be taking advantage of you? How? You think your
10 little markers are going to supply a class
of 30? Yeah. Like, what? I don't. It's all exhausting.
But I was just curious how you felt about that.
On the subject of school supplies, we need to
go back to schools sharing their school supply
lists with the... Powers That Be, Meijer, Target,
all of those. I had to order something from Jack's
school supply list off of Amazon because I went
to Meijer and I went to the Forbidden Place,
Target. And neither of them had it. It was like
the Crayola watercolor set. Hang on. Hang the
fuck on. Yeah. Neither of them had it. Are we?
OK, a couple of things. One, maybe and like this
is going to sound like the most boomer gig ever.
Like, I feel like there were like six things
on my school's playlist. It was like notebooks,
binders, folders, whatever. What? But like, is
there not just like a standardized idea of like,
OK, this is what we're going to do. And like,
we know that this is available like in our market.
So like. Well, yeah, but I don't know. I don't
know. I don't know. It was a watercolor set.
Also, what the fuck is he doing with a watercolor
set? Painting? Oh. Okay. Okay. I'm not the teacher,
so I'm in business, I guess. Okay. I don't know.
Maybe it goes to the art class, in which case,
that's wonderful, too. I thought they did away
with art class in Indiana. No. Oh, okay, good.
Dad has an art class. And they have this website
now where you can see digitized pictures of his
art. Oh, the way all of mine sat in a box for
years. And I'm not exaggerating. We had boxes
of all this shit from my school. Report cards,
all of it. I have no idea where any of that is
now. And I love that it's digital now. I think
it's amazing. Yeah, I mean, they send it home
too, but like... My parents are connected on
it and they can like leave comments and stuff
and they see it. Yeah, it's cute. I love that.
It's very cute. Look. Are you ready to complain?
Yeah. I actually have two things to complain
about today. Okay, you go first. The first one
is really easy to just complain about really
fast. Arugula. I hate arugula and it has infiltrated
everything good and holy in our lives. It is
everywhere and it is bitter. I hate it. It's
the new kale. I hate it so much. Okay. And also
I'm complaining about back to school night and
here's why. Okay. They don't stagger the times.
For the different grades. I feel like there should
be a 30 minute gap in start time for each grade
because what if you have multiple children? It's
only an hour long. So I don't understand what
you would do if you have two kids going into
school number one and number two. There are so
many people there. His school is huge. It is
like the size of my middle school and they have
had to put trailers outside for additional classrooms.
It's gigantic. So now you have pretty much every
single student plus mom or dad or both or their
guardian, whatever, with them. It is so jam packed
and hot and they don't put extra chairs out for
pregnant ladies. It was so overstimulating that
like we saw moms we know. And I fear what the
look in my eye was because I was so frazzled.
Like I saw a mom that I'm like friends with.
We text all the time. And I was like, I'm honestly
so overwhelmed. Like I am overstimulated. And
she was like, me too, girl. I don't know what's
going on. So you just go and see where your kids
go to school? Well, yeah, you meet their teacher.
That's when you drop off their school supplies
so they don't have to have a backpack full and
arms full of heavy school supplies. It's too
big for a little kid. Oh, okay. And you find
their classroom so that hopefully they can find
it on the first day. You find their desk and
all of that. Do you want to know what? I never
attended as a child that a back to fucking school
night. And I feel like my granny and pap were
just not interested in that. If that was a thing,
I have no idea. I remember doing it back in the
day. And it's like helpful because we get stuff
like you saw earlier. Like I now I know his class
schedule. So I know when he's eating lunch and
like I can talk to him about. what his day is
gonna look like so like for a kid like mine who
really doesn't like change and really needs to
be like prepared for what's gonna happen it's
really nice okay that's fair but otherwise yeah
i mean i don't it's not required it's not like
oh i would hope you have to be there but it does
feel like logistically it could have been planned
better though yeah right And I get like they
wanted to do it at six so that most people are
off work so they can come. But like have one
start at 530 and then six and then 630 and then
seven. But also, can you imagine like being these
teachers and like you spent the whole day setting
up a classroom and it's like, God, now I have
to talk to parents. They are frazzled and I don't
blame them. You have. OK, so these class sizes
are huge because we don't have enough teachers
because we don't pay them enough. And so you
have. 30 kids plus at least one parent each.
That's at least 60 people in a classroom that
is tiny and has 30 tiny chairs. It's a nightmare.
It's a nightmare. And I wish it were calmer and
cooler and more relaxing, but it's just fucking
not. Oh, my God. I was so overstimulated. I literally
was sweating the whole time. Oh, I'm sure. and
we got there at like it started at six we got
there at like 5 40 probably because like parking
is always a nightmare and i assume yeah i assume
they would let us in early no no we waited in
a line outside the door are you fucking shitting
me six on the dot i swear to god Jesus Christ.
And I had just like thrown his school supplies
on the sidewalk. I was like, I can't hold on
to these the whole time. I am huge now. You're
having a fucking baby. Like, oh my God. And I'm
like, what is going on? It was not ideal. And
I'm sure some people had like no problems with
it, but. Well, good for them. What a day the
Lord has made for them. Yeah, I just feel like.
That's exhausting. That doesn't, I, it was so,
I got back home and I was in the worst fucking
mood. I was like, the way I, so like, I would
have loved to have gone to support you and like
be there with you. Cause you know, I'll do, I
will go to the ends of the earth with you the
way I would have been so fucking furious, like
four minutes into it. I would have never subjected
you to what I went through. Oh my God. Were there
a bunch of parents there that had too many questions?
No. Okay. The teacher was occupied the whole
time. She had like a line of people. For what?
I mean, it's just like asking silly questions,
introducing themselves. Even there are just so
many of them. Let me. And she wanted to say hi
to everyone. I'm sure she did because she was
probably a lovely, magnanimous human being. She
seems really nice. The issue that I have, though,
is like. You think you are so much the main character
that you need to go monopolize the teacher's
time to. I mean, there's also like she had like
a classroom scavenger hunt for the kids to like
look around and find stuff like the classroom
library and the pencil sharpener and stuff. And
so like. That's actually kind of smart. Like,
yeah. Yeah. And so like. I don't know. Like Jack
went up to her just to show her that we had finished
it and stuff like that. So I'm sure she's getting
a bunch of stuff like that. Okay. That's different.
That's fine. And, but no, I can't imagine that
it's any less overwhelming for the teachers.
Cause it's like, I bet it's like 40 times worse.
Cause it's like, Oh God, they don't want to talk
to me. I am the main character. and they give
them like tasks they have to do like she kept
having to tell everyone like you need to scan
this qr code for this google doc to tell the
front office how your kid is getting to and from
school on the first day and she had to like like
do that for the front office like they give them
tasks they have to do okay so here's my question
when you were in elementary middle and high school
Was there not like a day, two or three weeks
before school where you had to go like in the
morning to the school and there was like a paper
your parents had to fill out? Like, yeah, we
did that, but they don't do that anymore. They
sent an email with like who? No, they didn't
even send an email. They sent an email saying
this website that like has your. Grades and stuff
like that. I don't know if you remember Skyward.
It's basically that. Whatever. It has your grades.
No, because they don't work on it. It just has
their grades and their absences and stuff like
that. And they sent an email that was like, at
4 p .m. tomorrow, you'll be able to see who your
kid's teacher is. And that's how you found out.
We knew, like, before we left for the year before
who our teacher was going to be the next year.
No, no. I didn't either, though. We found out
in the middle of the summer. Well, I also graduated
with, like, 90 people. So, like, it was probably
very easy to figure out where we were going.
Yeah. It was all just based on last name. I want
to say I graduated with, like, this number feels
fake, but, like, 600 people. Yeah, your school
was huge. Well, I'm sorry that that happened.
I hate that for you. It's OK. We like got everything
done that we needed to do. Good. All in all,
a success. But I want to complain about people
in the Lifetime locker room who these guys just
make themselves at home and they use like two
or three lockers and they have three bags with
them. And it's always like a whole production
every time they get into the locker room. And
then. They spread all of their shit out all over
the benches like so in lifetime in each like
bay of lockers. There's two like significantly
large benches that realistically like eight guys
could sit on. They're huge. So you have two of
those and these guys will spread all of their
shit out on these benches and. You're literally
crawling around their shit to like move it because
they open up the lockers and it's there. They're
just feeling the fantasy and getting ready. And
there is a whole production while they're getting
ready for like whatever their day is going to
bring. And it's 45 minutes of that. But then
what is even worse is when they have a friend
who does the same thing as them. And that's been
my experience. And I'm I think it's the time
that I'm going to the gym. I think like I have
to like readjust that because it is. far too
much for me to handle because like you know i
can't control my face so like yeah it's hard
for me i'm the same way i've been told that since
i was a tiny child okay okay are you ready for
reality roundup i am um what so We started rewatching
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the first
season. And boy, oh boy, does that not disappoint.
I love the first season. It's so good. It is
incredible. Like, so. Yeah. I think I've talked
a little bit about this before. I truly thought
this show is going to be hot garbage. I thought,
like. Why are they taking such a prestigious
show such as The Real Housewives? And now that
I'm saying it out loud, I'm just like, Jesus
Christ, I was the worst. But why are they taking
that to Salt Lake City, Utah? And these ladies
showed us how wrong I could have been. Yeah,
Salt Lake City, really epicenter. Their taglines
are amazing. So I listed all their taglines here,
but which one's your favorite? Um, I like Lisa
Barlow's because she was, she has her tequila
company or whatever. And so she says, when you
take cheap shots, always expect a hangover. I
actually really do like that one. Yeah. What's
your favorite? Uh, Mary Cosby. Your favorite.
Oh, I love God, but I will read you like a scripture.
I just hated her so much the first season. Pardon
me. Get set. So, um, We get like the first episode
of every Real Housewives is like giving you some
kind of like introduction in this town, like
whatever. It's a lot of that. Then you start
to meet the woman. So we meet Jen Shaw at her
chalet with her husband, Sharif, who is cooking
the family breakfast. Jen is Tongan and Hawaiian.
She's originally from Hawaii and moved to Utah
when she was like seven. And she and Sharif have
two sons, Sharif Jr. and Omar. Love. So I guess
Jen was raised Mormon. This is actually kind
of interesting because they jump right into it.
Jen was raised Mormon and Sharif was Muslim.
And like, I love that. Like when they got married,
it just wasn't like a big deal. Like they were
just doing their thing. And then Jen says, well,
why don't you come to church with me? And Sharif
goes, because your church didn't accept black
people until like 1974. And Jen goes, OK. I guess
I'm done there. Yeah, I feel like she just didn't
know. Well, no, because, like, the church isn't
going to tell you that they were racist. Yeah.
You know? Yeah. Yeah. Also, the pictures of them
from college, they're so hot. They were very
attractive. They're so hot. Sharif, I like Sharif.
I think Sharif is very handsome. I think he is.
Like, I would listen to him talk. Like, I would
go to, like, a speech or something he was giving.
I think he's so fun. Yeah. And then one of these
tropes that I really do hate on the housewives
is like, they're all sitting at the table and
then it's like, we have to bring up the like,
oh, we're going to talk about sex talk. I'm like,
I'm not, I'm not going to do that. They love
to show mothers making their children uncomfortable.
It's really weird. They do love that. And like
the way that. It's weird. I would have blown
my brains out on camera. No. It was a different
conversation, obviously, but they, like, did
the same thing when Giselle's girls were young.
It was a lot of, like, oh, mom's so embarrassing.
Why is that always your... Anyway. Right. I do
love that Sharif Jr., like, when she's, like,
telling Omar, like, kissing can give you herpes
and AIDS, like, Sharif Jr.'s like, oh, no, no.
Like, I thought he was so funny. Yeah. We go
over to meet Heather Gay at Beauty Lab and Laser.
She apparently opened Beauty Lab because Mormon,
Mormonism, the whole thing is. Perfection. The
endless pursuit of perfection. And I guess that
like leans into also being beautiful. Yeah. Well,
yeah, it's like perfect inside and out. I didn't
know how to feel about her when we first. met
her like in the first episode because i was like
oh you own a beauty lab and you have three daughters
like oh i didn't even think about that what are
you teaching them sort of thing obviously we'll
talk more about heather gay love heather gay
lover lover love but i wasn't sure how to feel
about her like early early on um she's got three
daughters and like i have to tell you i look
at their family and like i get really really
jealous because i'm god i would have given anything
growing up for a family like that like that just
like it feels like she's such a cool mom she
is yeah um i feel like you could tell her anything
oh yeah she married into money like money because
like if you do anything the parents of mormonism
yeah like have you ever like looked into his
family though yeah scary they're scary oh my
god you know whatever it takes get your bag heather
um heather loves rap music gay people and black
men and i'm a big fan of heather like i like
when she said that i immediately liked her yeah
i don't i still like didn't know how to feel
because i was like okay white lady why are you
saying that i That's fair. I get that. But, like,
I didn't know her. Yeah. Now I get her. She's
wonderful. We meet Meredith Marks at her house
where she's getting ready to go on a hike with
her husband, Seth, and her son, Brooks. What
did you think about Meredith, like, immediately?
I thought she was kind of boring. I did, too.
Yeah. But, like, it's so funny now looking back
on it because I'm just, like, I worship the ground
she walks on. Yeah. I watched it like looking
through the lens of everything I know now and
I'm like, God, she was so fabulous. But I remember
like I used to not be able to tell the difference
between her and Lisa Barlow. I thought they were
the same person. I thought that Meredith was
like, I don't know. I just was like, yeah, boring.
So she and Seth have been together for 24 years.
They have three kids, Reed, Chloe and Brooks.
Brooks is taking a year off of college to spend
with his mom. He wanted to be on this show. Like,
let's call it what it is. Good for him. If my
mom was on reality TV, I would be like, hello.
Oh, yeah. Well, you know, he's got that next
gen show with Teresa Giudice, his daughter. And
yeah, out of New York. Yeah. Yeah. But they I
like Brooks. Let me let me start by saying this.
I think Brooks is cool. He puts on this Paris
Hilton voice in the first season, though, that
Paris used to do in The Simple Life. And it bothers
me. But there's a 0 % chance that Brooks has
not seen The Simple Life. If we're being so honest.
If we're being so honest. Yeah. Love her now.
But yeah, I thought she was kind of boring. I
liked Lisa Barlow more. Oh my God. I loved Lisa
Barlow. So we meet her where she's trying to
wake her kids up from school or for school. She's
got the like word art above her kids beds that
you buy at Hobby Lobby. I was like, hustle and
grind. Okay, Lisa. Stage that house, mama. Oh,
yeah. So, you know, John Barlow dated Lisa's
sister before they got together. I thought that
was so funny. I did not know that. So she presents
it in the first season as, oh, they were just
friends. I met her because they went on a mission
trip together. And then come to find out, like
it was season two or three is when we find this
out, that they actually dated. And Lisa, like.
I don't I don't know if she stole him, but like
Lisa ended up with John and I'm happy for her.
Yeah, whatever. I also think John Marlowe is
really hot. Like I think he is. And I love a
man who's like, yes, honey, do what you want.
So my favorite thing that Lisa says is I know
other Mormons care that I have a tequila brand.
What matters is that I don't. Yeah. I thought
that was so cut. I love her. I think she's so
cunty. I love Lisa. I love that her son's names
are Jack and Henry. Those were my dog's names
growing up. I love that. So we were meeting all
the women individually and then we see the relationship
starting to happen. So Jen goes to beauty lab
to get Botox in her armpits for sweating. I thought
that injector doctor was really cute. Yeah. I
don't remember. And then Jen presents the idea
that we're going to throw merit at the birthday
party. Because we have to have a reason to get
everyone together, whatever. We go over, we meet
Whitney Rose, where she's getting ready for a
vow renewal at her house. And I also hate this
trope on Real Housewives where they do the vow
renewals. I hate it so much. I know people in
real life who have renewed their vows. Ugh. Yeah.
I kind of get it if, like, something happened.
Like if someone cheated and you guys were separated
and now you're back together, I get renewing
your vows. It's like a restart. I don't think
you need to do it just because. You know what
I mean? I feel like there should be a reason.
Anyway. So Justin is 18 years older than Whitney.
They met at work while they were both still married
and they got. They ended up getting married while
Whitney was five months pregnant. And this got
them excommunicated from the Mormon church. Don't
let your husband keep you from finding your husband.
You're not wrong. They have two kids. Whitney's
fourth great grandfather was Joseph Smith's bodyguard.
So that's kind of how she fits into this beautiful
Mormon picture. So it's a big deal that she was
excommunicated from the church. Yeah. And I thought
the best part of the vow renewal was when Whitney's
cousin, who was wasted, stops Whitney on the
stairs and apologizes for not believing that
the marriage would work out. You know what? Good
on that. I thought this when I was watching it,
too. Good on you for saying it. Honestly. And
I appreciate that she was honest. I really do.
Because I don't think they hid it from her at
the time that they did not approve. Oh, no, they
didn't. So for them to turn around and be like,
you know what? I'm glad you guys are happy. That
took some courage, some bravery. I agree. I'm
glad they said it. Anyway, moving on to Meredith's
house. Yes. So Jen and Lisa go over to Meredith's
house. We find out that Lisa and Meredith have
been friends forever. And then. Jen met Lisa
a couple of years back at a Sundance festival.
I have a feeling that Jen is one of these people
and knowing everything we know now, this actually
kind of makes sense. I have a feeling that Jen
like found people that were like higher up with
like Sundance or whatever, like where Lisa Barlow
is literally running Sundance. And she's like,
I need to get in with her. Like, and she was
like a really good networker with that. Cause
I could see Jen being very good at networking.
um and i think that's how also sundance if you
didn't know huge deal in salt lake city huge
deal massive deal like well and it's well not
anymore because it's this is the last year they're
next year's last year they're doing it in salt
lake city really it's moving to boulder colorado
should we go before the uh should we go in 2026
i don't care to go to a film festival if i'm
being honest fair enough I don't know if I thought
I would run into Lisa Barlow that I would go,
but I would. I don't think we would see them.
No, I'm sure we wouldn't. Oh, and this is where
Lisa gets shady towards Heather. So this is where
I started to develop a little bit of like a thing
with Lisa where I'm just like, oh, you're going
to be a little bit of a wild card this season.
I think she just says whatever comes into her
brain and she like just doesn't filter it out.
Yes, I think you're right. And I kind of admire
that. I don't know if you've gotten to that episode
in the second season yet that this really, really
is true. But like, oh, yes, that she does do
that. Let's see. So Lisa says that. Heather,
she doesn't really remember Heather from college,
but what she does remember is that Heather was
a good time girl. And she used to flash her titties.
Like, okay. If you don't remember her, how do
you remember that was my question. That and also,
like, this is one of those things where, like,
this was a weird fight to have for me. Like,
if Heather flashed her tits, she flashed her
tits. Like, whatever. like why did you say that
on bravo though yeah like why did you do that
it was weird um we meet mary cosby while she's
getting ready to go to dinner with she's getting
to dinner with whitney mary cosby dresses like
a character from a storybook like i think she
is a mythical creature i mean I'm all for it,
to be honest. The closet is closeting. Closets.
Yeah. Which are bedrooms. Yes. I think she's
fabulous. I do. I just something about her was
so off to me. She gives very disingenuous. I
don't know if it's disingenuous. We'll get into
this, but I think there's something there that
like she needs to go to therapy for. I'm just
going to say this, but like it's also connected
to. Whitney tells us everyone in Salt Lake City
knows the story about Mary and her step grandfather.
And Mary has been married to her step grandfather
for 21 years because Mama Cosby, who is Mary
Cosby's grandmother, before she passed, said
to Robert Senior, when I die, I want you to marry
one of my girls because they'll be good to you.
Allegedly. I don't know. So the thing is, right,
it's this whole shady situation, but they've
been married now for 21 years. That's the part
where I struggle with it a little bit because
it's just like. At what point do I just accept
what's happening? If you're happy, if you like
it, I love it. My concern is, is that. They don't
like it. She was trapped. Like, I feel like she
was trapped in a marriage. My question from the
very beginning is where was her mother? So that
was the whole thing is. We do find out about
this. Like the mom was mad that she didn't marry
Robert senior. Oh, I do remember us getting into
that, but I, and like the mom wanted to take
the church and like, she like split off half
the congregation. Like there's, we'll get into
it. I do remember that now. The Bravo docket
gets into this though, where like they, they
do a deep dive into what happened with the mom
and mama Cosby and everyone. the whole thing
is we'll have to get into that a different time
i can't even that is a lot um we go back to jen's
house oh wait hang on so she's the first lady
right she's the first lady of uh faith temple
church that she inherited from her grandma i've
been to churches like this this is i am uncomfortable
with the church itself i'm just gonna tell you
that like it gives a little culty from episode
one yes yes it's like The crying, the speaking
in tongues, like the whole thing. And like, if
you believe it, great. I just feel like I'm not
going to tell you that you shouldn't believe
in something or you shouldn't go to church or
you shouldn't. But as an outsider looking in,
I'm uncomfortable. Yes. And then we go ahead
first into there was a conversation between Jen
and Mary where. Mary apparently said something
smelled like hospital and she said Jen smells
like hospital. She said. Oh, OK. OK. So she said
Jen smells like hospital. But she knew that Jen
had just come from visiting her aunt who had
to get her leg amputated. Did she know that?
Yes. OK. She admits to knowing that. OK. OK.
Maybe I missed her saying she I thought she admitted
to saying it. I didn't. Okay, the whole thing,
this was also a wild fight. Like, this was one
of those things where I'm just like, Jesus, God.
I feel like they weren't one -on -one. They were
at a dinner with other people. Don't tell someone
they smell bad unless you're offering them perfume
or deodorant. That's, okay, that's a good point.
Don't say that. You smell like hospital. Like,
okay, and here's the other thing. You're the
first lady of a church. And you're going to shit
on someone for smelling like hospital? I don't
think Barry lives out a lot of the values sometimes.
No. I'm just going to say that. But it's also
like, I know that you're clocking what you're
saying. You're on a stage once a week, every
single week. Once a week minimum, by the way,
probably twice. And I know that you're watching
what you say and you just don't care. You said
that to hurt her feelings. I just popped my neck
and it was like the biggest release of like,
Oh my God. So good. Um, anyway, anyway, we go
back to Jen's house, but they're getting ready
for the party. Um, Jen's walking around and like,
I, I think I loved this about Jen in the beginning.
And then I was just like, God, this would be
grating if I had to be with her every single
day. But she's walking around with one of those
like reverb microphones and just like screaming
into it. I know that if I were on her team, her
Shaw squad of 18 assistants, I would want to
die. I could not work for John. Sorry. I love
her and I could not work for her. This is a question
that comes up for me. And like, like even with
the amount of money that was coming in that we
know about now, how the fuck was she paying?
She has like seven people working for her. How
the fuck was she paying all them? No idea. Anyway,
so they're getting ready for it. That would aggravate
the ever loving fuck out of me. Heather's walking
or Heather shows up and we find out that Coach
Shaw doesn't know anything about the party. We're
hiding things from her husband, which is not
the this is not. The only thing that Jen's hiding
from her husband. And it seemed so natural. She
was like, what? I literally never know. Like
she had done it a million times. She's like,
oh, yeah. Anyway, they unpack the good time girl
comment and Heather gets triggered. And then
and then this is like this is the first time
we hear about. A recurring theme that comes up
where Lisa is very dismissive of Heather and
also Whitney, like very like whatever. Like they
don't like she for some reason doesn't want to
be associated or something. Yes. Yeah. It's weird.
I don't know. Oh, yeah. And then Seth, Seth,
Seth Marks, Meredith Marks, his husband can't
be in Utah for her birthday. And so he has Brooks
setting up roses and candles for Meredith's birthday.
And it is hard to watch. It is hard to watch.
It looks like there's a coffin on the coffee
table. That's one. Yeah. I hate, I hate, hate,
hate, hate, hate the idea of like rose petals
because I feel like, oh, it's beautiful in the
moment, but then it's like, who the fuck's going
to clean this up? They have cleaners. There's
no way Meredith Marks is cleaning that house.
Oh, they never, she's never cleaned a day in
her life, but I'm just like, just the logistics
of it for me. I'm like, I don't want to, I don't
want this shit everywhere. Can I be, I don't
like the smell of rose either. It's like very
popular in like perfumes and stuff. I know that,
but I don't like that smell. I could do without
it, yeah. Um, yeah, she's 48. She's turning 48,
but she lies about her age as she should. She
still doesn't look 48 years old as we're recording
this. So she said that if she like when she lies
about her age, she says she's 35. I also say
that I am 27. So God bless. I think it's beautiful
to lie about your age. When someone asks how
old you are, you should really tell them how
old you feel. I ask people, how old do you think
I am? Kenny does that too. I love that game.
I think once you turn 30, you start doing that.
I love to watch him squirm. But I would have
bought that she was in her very early 40s, 100%.
Yeah. And she has not aged since season one.
If anything, she looks younger now. I think so,
yeah. She's had good work done. If she has had
work, I don't know. Mama. I worship the girl
she walks on. Let me have it. We get to the party.
I'm not mad about the shirtless men running around
this party. I thought I thought that was a nice
touch. I love it. Heather looks gorgeous as she's
walking up. She talks about the alcohol situation
in Utah where Mormons, I guess, will hide in
a corner and drink. And like, it's a whole thing.
We watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. We
know they be drinking. Right. But like. We'll
get into this eventually, but I'm like, who are
you pretending for? They love to drink, and then
they also love to do a performative mocktail.
Yeah. It's so weird. Anyway, yeah. This girl,
Sarah, walks in, and she was 100 % supposed to
be on the show, but a fun fact, she was at January
6th. She was? Yeah, the girl, the one that comes
in going, happy birthday, like that girl, she
was at January 6th. Ew! I'm glad they kicked
her off the show. Well, because there are several
scenes that they filmed. She filmed with Whitney.
I think they were they were set up to be like
best friends in the show. But like and you could
tell they scrambled at the last minute to get
her cut out of the show because like they talk
about her for a part of the reunion. Talking
about. Yeah. Lisa shows up. Her hair always looks
incredible. She's stunning. Incredible. Whitney
shows up and. I like Whitney. Let me say this.
I like Whitney, but like. She has two very different
aesthetics, like it's pretty. Her face card is
insane. She's beautiful. She has a stunning face.
She's gorgeous. But like, I think she had a hard
time with the hair in the beginning because like
that short. hair yeah and like her outfits are
questionable from time to time but also she has
a killer body oh my god it would kill she's like
so just like stunning with no clothes on that
it's like whatever girl do what you gotta do
she's so hot when she's like wearing leggings
and a little sports bra i'm like god damn i didn't
love the look that she walked up with i'll just
no she has many questionable fashion choices
i won't give you that right um Meredith and Brooks
roll up looking great and Meredith goes, this
was never for me. This party was never for me.
Oh, and we knew that. We watched Jen plan this
thing and she did not mention Meredith not a
once. Well, the producer was like, what do Tongan
dancers have to do with Meredith? And Jen goes,
nothing. Nothing. So, I love that. Heather's
eating a meatball on a stick and I love that.
I love a good meatball. I would have had 60 of
those things. Jen comes out with a three foot
tall birthday cake and the guy that pops out
of the birthday cake. I was super into that guy.
Well, you can't have an ugly guy pop out of a
cake. Well, that's fair. Jen pulls Mary aside
to talk about the hospital smell comment and.
Apparently, Mary had to get all of her odor glands
removed and they lost her on the table twice.
And that's why the smell is so triggering to
her. OK, so let me just say this. Almost everyone
who's been to a hospital has a bad relationship
with hospitals. Sure. They're not. It's not a
fashion mall. It's not like, oh, my God, you
smell like Brooks Brothers. One time I got shot
in a Brooks Brothers. No, the hospital is where
you go for horrible, horrible things. OK, so,
yeah, no one likes to smell and no one likes
a hospital. No, you're not special, Mary. The
whole thing to me was like. I wish Mary just
would have been like, yeah, I said it. Like,
it was a weird comment. Whatever. The fact that
this spanned an entire fucking season, like.
It comes back over and over and over. And if
she would have just said, I shouldn't have said
that. I'm sorry. Whatever. Just at any point.
Yeah. But she has to make it about her. Yes.
Which is a huge problem I have with Mary. By
the way. Everything's about Mary. Okay. That's.
You're not wrong. by the way what by the way
so does jen but like oh for sure and that's why
i feel like this goes on for so long because
a normal person would see mary not apologize
for saying something horrible and be like okay
but that's yeah like like at some point and this
is something that jen's incapable of we come
to find out jen cannot just say oh she's not
living in the same reality i am and You cannot
just move on from that. What do you do? I do
feel like sometimes Jen does that because she
wants to preserve the realness of their relationship.
She wants to be real friends. I see that with
her and Heather in season two. I think she's
like, well, I'm not going to forgive Heather
until I hear what I need to hear because I want
our relationship to stay the same. I want us
to be on the same wavelength. But with Mary,
you just got to be like Mary girl. I don't know
what type of you're good girl. We don't have
to be friends. I don't know. There was a woman
named Carrie floating around the party that was
so desperate to be on camera. And she comes up
and confirms that Mary did, in fact, make the
hospital smell comment. And Mary just goes, yeah,
I said it. And you smell like that, too. thought
it was so funny just so that you're sorry yeah
i so that and then we move on to this and this
is probably one of my favorite comments from
the entire season i'm gonna read it right um
this all feels ridiculous to me and mary proceeds
to get into a confessional and say i don't know
what you want me to do about your aunt her legs
are gone why are you getting your legs cut off
at 60 that means your diet's bad you know it's
just like she's not she didn't eat right like
drink water This wasn't about the aunt. You didn't
even have to bring that up. I'm so glad she did,
though. I'm so happy she did. When she was saying
that, I was like. I remember this clear as day.
Like, I can see in my brain her saying that because
I was like, Mary. I forgot that this scene happened.
And I was like, oh, this is why Mary got cast
on the show. Yeah, this is it. She'll say anything.
Her diet's bad. Her diet's bad? Why are you getting
your legs cut off at 60? What? Mary! What? Mary,
you have to get all your odor glands cut out.
Mary, meanwhile you're married to your step -grandfather.
Grasshouse Mary! Oh, my God. And then we get
this thing that becomes a recurring theme with
Jen going into like the end of the episode where
she storms off and it's like this hulking out
like, don't disrespect my family. And I'm like,
she's a crash out. Yes, she just is. I love her
or hate her. Jen is good TV, but like there is
there is like it always feels like you're probably.
so stressed out being around her. Cause it's
like, Oh my God, when is she going to start screaming?
When is she going to start screaming? Yeah. So
that brings us to the end of the first episode
and we get a to be continued, um, at the end
or well in the middle of Meredith's party. But
my question for you is who would you want to
be friends with from the first episode? Me? Yes.
So first episode alone, Lisa Barlow. Okay. I
loved her. And I was like, Yes, give the Mormons
tequila. I love that. Yes, have your little boys.
And also, isn't the first episode when they went
through like three different drive -thru fast
food places to get food for everyone? Okay, we'll
talk about that when we get there. Because I've
done that before too. I'm obsessed with Lisa
Barlow. Like from episode one. Loved her. Who
would you want to be friends with? I think. also
lisa yeah i i really really don't like her now
but i i go back and forth with her i think she'll
grow on me this coming season just from what
i've seen like in in the news but i i think i
would have been friends with lisa i think lisa's
really cool and i also think she's probably super
like fun to be around like just as friends like
she's probably she probably has the greatest
parties yeah she seems like very chill but also
like She's not taking shit from anybody either.
Like, I don't know. Love her. Love her. Dear
listener, that brings us. I know this is kind
of abrupt. We're only covering one episode today.
We'll do two or three next time. But Emma has
to go get Jack from school and I have to go take
to the bed because I am tired and I need a nap.
But. From Indy to Argentina and Australia, we
love you, Emma. We love you so much. I'm so happy
people in Australia are listening to us. Australia
is definitely bestie approved, except for all
the critters. Yeah, that's hard. But we love
you so much. Thank you for listening. Thank you
for being here. And we'll see you next week.