WEBVTT

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Welcome to Saturdays with Sir Roland, your weekly

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training guild on how to slay the dragons of

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vice with the weapons of virtue. Here's your

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guild master, the author of the Seven Deadly

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Dragons book series, and faithful knight to the

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one true light, Sir Roland Paterlot. Greetings

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young squires, maidens, moms and dads. Today

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is the 11th day in the fourth month in the year

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of our Lord, 2026, and it's a great day to learn

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the art of dragon slaying. Happy Easter everyone!

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That's right, it's still Easter and I hope you've

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been celebrating well this week. What does it

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mean to celebrate well? I mean, practicing the

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virtue of temperance by punching Gula, the indigo

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dragon of gluttony in the nose, when he comes

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sniffing around your candy and tempts you to

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eat it all at once. I mean, slaying the green

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dragon of greed by sharing your gifts with your

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siblings and helping your mom and dad spring

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clean the house. I mean, slaying the yellow dragon

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of sloth by singing many hallelujahs and proclaiming

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to the world the best news ever. No, not that

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your Easter basket is full, but that Jesus' tomb

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is empty. And it means having fun with your family

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after a hard fought battle this Lent. And I'm

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going to help you do that today with a little

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game called Name That Dragon. We've played this

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before with Little Lady Lumina where I would

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pretend I was being attacked by a dragon and

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she would have to guess the dragon. Now I'm not

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going to do any acting today but I am going to

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give you some scenarios and you get to guess

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which of the seven deadly dragons is attacking

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or is being slain. After your intense training

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this Lent, I want to see how sharp your dragon

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slaying skills are. The following scenarios are

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purely hypothetical. Scenario number one, the

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office raffle. Sir Rowland enters his name in

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the office raffle to win a new basketball. He

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put his name in the jar eight times to increase

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his chances. Sir Topher put just one ticket in

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the jar for his favorite brand of toilet paper.

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When the winners are announced Sir Topher wins

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the toilet paper and Sir Roland doesn't win the

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basketball That's not fair is the first thought

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that enters Sir Roland's mind He feels the urge

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to throw a tantrum and even considers taking

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the toilet paper from Topher so he can't enjoy

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his prize But then, Sir Roland realizes he is

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under attack. He pauses, takes a breath, and

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chooses instead to smile, congratulate Topher

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by patting him on the back, and even helps Topher

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install the toilet paper on the toilet paper

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roll in the office bathroom. Which dragon did

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Sir Roland slay? A. The Red Dragon of Pride B.

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The Orange Dragon of Envy C. The Blue Dragon

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of Wrath D. The Green Dragon of Greed Or E. All

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of them And the answer is, he slayed them all.

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Alright, next scenario. Sir Roland, Sir Topher,

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and Sir Hayden Seek are all entered into the

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annual Woodshire Easter Egg Hunt. After Lady

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Lumina, I mean the Easter Bunny hides all the

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eggs, Lady Melissa announces that the games must

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commence. Sir Hayden Seek is considered the favorite

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in a game like this, for obvious reasons. But

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with his speed, tenacity, and wit, Sir Rowland

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pulls off the upset and collects four more eggs

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than both Sir Hayden and Sir Topher. Instead

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of bragging about his victory, Sir Rowland congratulates

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both Sir Topher and Sir Hayden on their effort

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and offers each of them two more eggs each so

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that everybody has the same amount and he isn't

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tempted to eat too much at his victory banquet.

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Which dragon did Sir Rowland slay? Was it A,

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the yellow dragon of sloth? B, the green dragon

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of greed? C, the indigo dragon of gluttony? D,

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the red dragon of pride? Or E, all of them? And

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the answer is E, he slayed them all. Scenario

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number three, the pull -ups. During Lent, Sir

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Roland, Sir Topher, and Sir Hayden decide that

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they will offer up ten pull -ups for every time

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they catch themselves losing to a dragon with

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a mean, sarcastic, or rude remark toward another

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person. The office grows oddly silent as the

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competitors work hard to resist the temptation

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to make fun of each other or say something that

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is not up to the code of chivalry against their

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fellow soldiers. They face many dragons and fight

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many battles, sometimes losing their battles

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and gathering some ugly dragon wounds. and building

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some massive biceps. One day, to burn off some

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tension after a long day of work, they decide

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to play basketball, with the agreement that the

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losers have to do the winner's pull -ups for

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that day. Sir Roland throws up a three -pointer

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at the buzzer to take the victory over Sir Hayden

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and Sir Topher, but instead of gloating, he offers

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to do their pull -ups for them. Which dragon

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did Sir Roland slay? Was it A, the yellow dragon

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of sloth, B, the red dragon of pride, C, the

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green dragon of greed, or D, all of them? And

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the answer is he slayed them all. And the next

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scenario is the great office chair tournament.

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Sir Roland Sir Topher and Sir Hayden gather for

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the legendary office chair tournament of Woodshire.

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The winner of the tournament receives the final

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office donut that Sir Topher so generously donated.

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Get that? Donut he donated to celebrate Easter.

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The rules are simple. Each knight must roll across

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the Great Hall, also known as the Ministry Office,

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and stop closest to the sacred line of masking

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tape without crossing it. Sir Hayden glides like

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the wind, stopping perfectly just before the

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line. Sir Topher gives a valiant effort, crashing

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gently into a filing cabinet. Sir Rowland takes

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his turn. He pushes off with great force and

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shouts, For glory! Just then, a massive wind

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comes rushing through the office windows and

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he zooms forward. Because of the wind, he rolls

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well past the line and crashes into the wall.

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For a moment, he considers declaring the injustice

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of the situation and proclaiming, Clearly, I

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had the most impressive run. I shall take the

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victory and the last donut. But then, he pauses.

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He straightens his armor, or hoodie, calmly,

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nods with grace and valor, and says, Well done,

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Sir Hayden, a most noble ride. Have thee thou

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donut, while I go for my afternoon run to burn

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some calories. Which dragon did Sir Roland slay?

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Was it A, the red dragon of pride, B, the blue

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dragon of wrath, C, the indigo dragon of gluttony,

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D, the yellow dragon of sloth, or E, all of them?

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And the answer is... He slayed them all. All

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right, the final scenario, the troubling pattern.

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Sir Roland Sir Topher and Sir Hayden gather to

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recount their victories. Sir Topher says, today

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I practiced patience and perseverance in trying

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my best. Sir Hayden says, I showed kindness and

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respect. Sir Roland steps forward boldly and

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proclaims, and I have won every challenge today.

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Sir Topher tilts his head. Sir Hayden squints

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slightly. Sir Rowland continues. Yes, in every

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contest, every trial, every moment, I have emerged

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victorious! The silence falls over the hall.

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Deep down, Sir Rowland knows he didn't actually

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win them all, but he figures the ones he didn't

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win, the other guys cheated, and he can't stand

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the thought of someone else winning, so he crosses

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his arms proudly. Therefore, I declare myself

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champion of all dragons and the winner of all

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the spoils. Uh -oh. Which dragon did Sir Roland

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lose to? Was it A, the blue dragon of wrath,

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B, the green dragon of greed, C, the orange dragon

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of envy, D, the red dragon of pride, or E, all

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of them? He got wounded by all of them. And I

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hope you've learned a lesson today. When playing

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Name That Dragon, the red dragon may tempt you

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to make up scenarios where you always look victorious.

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The reality is that I don't always beat Sir Topher

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and Sir Hayden at all of our competitions. Occasionally

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I let them win. Okay, fine. Sometimes they beat

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me. But the important thing in competitions is

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not whether we win or lose, but how we play the

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game with grace and hard work and humility. Don't

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let that red dragon get you. Be sure to give

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all glory to God, for he is the true victor over

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dragons. Speaking of victory over dragons, it's

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still the octave of Easter when Jesus conquers

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every dragon and tomorrow, We celebrate the great

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Feast of Divine Mercy Sunday. So here's my challenge

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this week. Why don't you and your family play

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a game of Name That Dragon? You can act out the

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dragons or you can come up with scenarios like

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we did on the podcast today. But either way,

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the church has another name for Name That Dragon

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in our own lives. It's called Examining Our Conscience.

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That's a powerful daily habit, and it helps us

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prepare for confession. And this is a great week

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to go to confession around this feast of Divine

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Mercy. And then you can celebrate with the Divine

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Mercy Sunday, as in ice cream. We'll send you

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a video on how to make the Divine Mercy Sunday.

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Perhaps I can talk Lady Lumina into making the

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video for you. And until next week, I'll leave

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you under the protection of Saint Michael the

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Great Archangel, Saint Joseph the Tear of Dragons,

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and Mary, Queen of the Angels, Our Lady of Grace.

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and the woman who seed crushed the head of the

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dragon. Hi everybody, Lady Lumina here. That

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was great. Hey everybody, Sir Topher here. As

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Roland mentioned, Lady Lumina made Divine Mercy

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Sundays and showed Sir Hey Hey and I how to make

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them. Lady Lumina, did you enjoy your Divine

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Mercy Sunday? Yes. Yeah, I thought it was pretty

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tasty. Okay, so I just posted the video of us

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on Dragon Slayers TV if you want to learn a fun

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and simple way to enjoy some ice cream while

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also connecting it to the faith. Happy Easter

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everyone and until next week, stay holy and slay

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dragons.