WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.799 Are you feeling lost? Well, you've come to the 00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:05.559 right place. Welcome to Lostish, where we, Rose 00:00:05.559 --> 00:00:08.160 Chachko and Emmanuella Kathreptakis, share what 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:10.580 it's really like navigating your twenties. We're 00:00:10.580 --> 00:00:13.919 two semi -lost girls figuring out careers, relationships, 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:16.140 wellness, purpose and everything in between. 00:00:16.219 --> 00:00:19.059 Each week we dive into the highs, the lows and 00:00:19.059 --> 00:00:21.600 the lessons of chasing your dreams, finding happiness 00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:23.800 and learning to embrace the uncertainty. We're 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:25.899 not here to pretend like we've loaded all together. 00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:32.619 We're simply just figuring it out. Welcome back 00:00:32.619 --> 00:00:35.939 everyone to the Lostish podcast. Oh, we didn't 00:00:35.939 --> 00:00:37.520 say together this time, but that's something 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:39.439 different. So we're, we're going to keep, we're 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:42.079 going to keep that. I also clicked at the beginning. 00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:44.460 Like if you're watching this video guys, I've 00:00:44.460 --> 00:00:46.840 clicked like in the air and I did the same thing 00:00:46.840 --> 00:00:49.259 in our last episode because we filmed it two 00:00:49.259 --> 00:00:51.719 minutes ago and that was really unintentional. 00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:54.539 Sorry. I was just, I needed to say that cause 00:00:54.539 --> 00:00:58.149 I noticed it. But we have a really interesting 00:00:58.149 --> 00:01:02.350 episode for you guys today. It's a very, very 00:01:02.350 --> 00:01:06.730 interesting topic and it's pretty much called 00:01:06.730 --> 00:01:10.689 the obsession that we have with our appearance. 00:01:11.209 --> 00:01:14.230 And we're just going to be talking about appearance 00:01:14.230 --> 00:01:19.230 in general and how much we focus on it, especially 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:23.879 is women i feel like we put so much effort and 00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:26.620 so much focus into beauty into into how we look 00:01:26.620 --> 00:01:29.859 into how we present ourselves same with men same 00:01:29.859 --> 00:01:32.959 with males it applies to absolutely but i think 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:36.280 about just your aura as well yeah the obsession 00:01:36.280 --> 00:01:40.780 with not being liked for whatever reason not 00:01:40.780 --> 00:01:43.359 being visually appealing the obsession of being 00:01:43.359 --> 00:01:47.680 pretty the obsession of being hot makeup All 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:51.719 of that because i think. Appearance is really 00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:54.859 damaging to a lot of people and let's talk about 00:01:54.859 --> 00:01:59.260 it let's talk about it okay starting off. Appearance 00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:02.840 where does it come from so essentially where 00:02:02.840 --> 00:02:05.719 it begins i've got talking points you guys so 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:08.240 i'm not off track early experiences with appearance. 00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:11.229 When did you first become aware of how you looked? 00:02:11.449 --> 00:02:15.169 The influence of childhood, family, school. I 00:02:15.169 --> 00:02:19.610 think the first time for me, specifically, that 00:02:19.610 --> 00:02:24.110 I thought about my appearance was high school, 00:02:24.110 --> 00:02:27.909 not high school, was primary school. And I remember, 00:02:28.110 --> 00:02:32.229 yeah. I used to get bullied in primary school. 00:02:32.909 --> 00:02:34.949 Both of our experiences were bullying. Guys, 00:02:34.969 --> 00:02:38.409 that's so sad. It's sad, but it happens. you 00:02:38.409 --> 00:02:41.270 know it's very very common unfortunately but 00:02:41.270 --> 00:02:43.530 i used to get bullied because i had a lot of 00:02:43.530 --> 00:02:46.289 hair and like when i say hair i mean hair on 00:02:46.289 --> 00:02:49.050 my head Hairy legs, hairy arms. Are you about 00:02:49.050 --> 00:02:50.669 to tell me we have the same exact experience? 00:02:50.830 --> 00:02:53.569 Oh probably, because we spoke about this before. 00:02:53.650 --> 00:02:57.250 Oh maybe we have. And I used to be called a bunch 00:02:57.250 --> 00:02:59.069 of names and people used to be like oh my god 00:02:59.069 --> 00:03:01.330 why do you have like so much hair like your hair 00:03:01.330 --> 00:03:03.969 is so curly and it's crazy and it like like all 00:03:03.969 --> 00:03:06.349 this rude stuff like things that kids would say 00:03:06.349 --> 00:03:09.090 to you same with like hairy legs and hairy arms 00:03:09.090 --> 00:03:11.750 and things like that and I didn't even know that 00:03:11.750 --> 00:03:15.780 like shaving or waxing or any of that was a thing. 00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:22.379 How sad for a little primary school kid to have 00:03:22.379 --> 00:03:26.060 somebody say to you when you're so unaware and 00:03:26.060 --> 00:03:29.719 something that in my family was really accepted. 00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:33.759 I'm of Eastern European descent, I'm Ukrainian. 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:38.680 I have dark features I have big hair I know it's 00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:40.819 up right now and in a lot of clips you see me 00:03:40.819 --> 00:03:42.659 with straight hair and things but naturally I've 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:46.800 got very big very very curly hair very dark hair 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:50.400 I'm on the same wavelength and I never knew that 00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:54.159 that was like a problem and people used to tease 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:57.599 me and make fun of me for that and ever since 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:00.099 then like I still think about it to this day 00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:02.219 and ever since then that that's where my kind 00:04:02.219 --> 00:04:06.080 of Obsession with with my parents has become 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:08.120 because i remember immediately after that i told 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:11.919 my mom. I said mom i need to cut my hair mom 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.500 i need to start shaving mom i need to start waxing 00:04:14.500 --> 00:04:18.480 and i get as a little. Primary school kid yes 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:21.240 see how sad is that it's very sad i had a very 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:22.920 similar experience i've been called a gorilla 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:27.120 before yeah. Having a unibrow yeah my mom let 00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:30.279 me out of the house love her but back to what 00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:32.300 you were saying it's something that. we didn't 00:04:32.300 --> 00:04:35.639 even see as an issue because at home you feel 00:04:35.639 --> 00:04:38.639 so loved and protected by the people that genuinely 00:04:38.639 --> 00:04:41.060 care about you and then you walk out to school. 00:04:41.579 --> 00:04:43.339 This was a bit later for me, it happened in high 00:04:43.339 --> 00:04:45.319 school, but like I found out about a group chat 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:47.360 where girls were sending photos of me back and 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:51.079 forth about my unibrow. And I was like, it's 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:53.360 stuff that you'd look at now that if anyone, 00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:57.000 this is a warning, if anyone is to do that to 00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:59.889 my future children. They will get an earful. 00:05:00.589 --> 00:05:02.430 Absolutely. And that is something that I have 00:05:02.430 --> 00:05:05.689 not tolerated ever. Bullying is one of the worst 00:05:05.689 --> 00:05:08.490 possible things you can do in general. But I 00:05:08.490 --> 00:05:10.529 think for a lot of young girls especially, I 00:05:10.529 --> 00:05:14.009 think boys, it's like a known thing. Like I'm 00:05:14.009 --> 00:05:15.790 not saying that boys don't experience this at 00:05:15.790 --> 00:05:19.050 all because I used to see it happen to guys just 00:05:19.050 --> 00:05:21.550 as much. Not just as much, but I think for girls 00:05:21.550 --> 00:05:25.319 it impacts them more because it's like, As goals 00:05:25.319 --> 00:05:29.779 your expectation expectation women it's an expectation 00:05:29.779 --> 00:05:33.439 to always have you know your shit together always 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:36.860 appear like appear in a certain way to be beautiful 00:05:36.860 --> 00:05:39.439 to be feminine to be this to be that all the 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:43.980 societal expectations right. Social media social 00:05:43.980 --> 00:05:46.759 media let's let's stick on the societal expectations 00:05:46.759 --> 00:05:48.720 for a sec because what i'm not saying that i 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:52.250 actually like. Sing you know a woman who takes 00:05:52.250 --> 00:05:55.490 care of herself i think it's fantastic problem 00:05:55.490 --> 00:05:59.759 is when you got. Other girls, especially, sitting 00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:02.399 there putting you down because you've got a little 00:06:02.399 --> 00:06:04.259 bit of extra hair on your arm. But there's a 00:06:04.259 --> 00:06:07.240 difference. I'm gonna rebut you on that because 00:06:07.240 --> 00:06:08.899 there's a difference between somebody that takes 00:06:08.899 --> 00:06:11.180 care of themselves and somebody that's obsessive 00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:13.600 over appearance. Just because you don't wax or 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:15.240 you don't shave or you don't this or you don't 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:17.339 that or you don't put eye makeup on or whatever, 00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:19.319 doesn't mean that you don't take care of yourself. 00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:21.540 Yeah, I agree. Do you know what I mean? And it's 00:06:21.540 --> 00:06:25.519 like for somebody to put someone else down for 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:29.670 their looks, is crazy to me, especially at a 00:06:29.670 --> 00:06:32.310 young age. A rule that I was taught from a very 00:06:32.310 --> 00:06:35.810 young age from my parents was don't ever tell 00:06:35.810 --> 00:06:38.269 someone something that they can't change in five 00:06:38.269 --> 00:06:41.470 seconds, because if they can't, it'll be something 00:06:41.470 --> 00:06:44.110 that they go home and think about for the rest 00:06:44.110 --> 00:06:46.269 of their life, for the rest of the day or for 00:06:46.269 --> 00:06:48.230 the rest of their life. Yeah. And there are some 00:06:48.230 --> 00:06:50.569 things that I have been told in high school or 00:06:50.569 --> 00:06:52.449 primary school that have stuck with me to this 00:06:52.449 --> 00:06:55.029 day, which even though I don't care about them, 00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.439 They've still stuck with me. I don't give a shit 00:06:57.439 --> 00:06:59.920 what people say anymore, but it's still stuck 00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:03.079 with me. So if someone, if someone's got food 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:05.000 in their teeth, let them know. They can change 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:06.379 that. It might be embarrassing in the moment, 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:07.800 but they can change that. They're not going to 00:07:07.800 --> 00:07:09.319 sit here and hate you for it the rest of your 00:07:09.319 --> 00:07:11.560 life. If you go and tell someone though, that 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:16.040 their nose is too big. Yeah. sorry or you know 00:07:16.040 --> 00:07:19.920 they're too short as a male for example or they're 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:22.620 too tall as a woman or they're too big or they're 00:07:22.620 --> 00:07:24.560 too skinny or they're too like commenting on 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:28.139 any sort of appearance there. Sorry I don't know 00:07:28.139 --> 00:07:32.180 what kind of like morals you've had instilled 00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:34.459 in you to be able to hate on someone for something 00:07:34.459 --> 00:07:36.439 like that I've never understood that. And the 00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:39.959 thing is here is you never ever know. what somebody 00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:42.540 is going through, whether it could be an eating 00:07:42.540 --> 00:07:45.639 disorder or mental health. The amount of times 00:07:45.639 --> 00:07:49.060 I've dealt with it myself, my best friends have 00:07:49.060 --> 00:07:51.120 dealt with eating disorders in the past, and 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:54.040 they've had even positive, and I say that with 00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:56.839 inverted comments, inverted commas, they've had 00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.480 positive comments such as, oh my god, look at 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:02.920 those abs, or oh my god, you're so skinny, or 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:04.980 look at your butt, or look at your lips, or look 00:08:04.980 --> 00:08:07.759 at this and this and this. And that person has 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:11.160 been struggling with an eating disorder or starving 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:14.220 themselves and people are fueling that you know 00:08:14.220 --> 00:08:17.279 by commenting things like that. Why don't you 00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:20.500 just say you look beautiful or like beautiful 00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:23.680 smile today or whatever it may be. I'm going 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:25.839 to tell you a little story and I think you know 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:28.839 this about me. I used to have really bad anxiety 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:32.840 in high school and I dealt with Bullying and 00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:35.519 I dealt with friendship problems and etc. We've 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:38.879 spoken about this on the pod before and As an 00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:41.779 anxiety tool not tool, but like, you know people 00:08:41.779 --> 00:08:43.600 bite their nails or people pick their skin or 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:45.460 people pick their hair I used to pick my eyebrows 00:08:45.460 --> 00:08:49.000 And it's something that I'm still you know dealing 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:52.080 with but I used to pick my eyebrows in high school 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:55.419 You're late came you're 11. No, I started in 00:08:55.419 --> 00:08:58.440 you 10 like for me that was kind of I don't know 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:02.580 my coping mechanism And I picked out pretty much 00:09:02.580 --> 00:09:08.460 all my eyebrows and I had no pretty much no hair 00:09:08.460 --> 00:09:11.580 left. And I used to like draw my eyebrows on 00:09:11.580 --> 00:09:14.679 and whatever. People used to make fun of me and 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:19.279 also for having too much hair and then for having 00:09:19.279 --> 00:09:21.519 no hair. Well there you go. Are you joking? But 00:09:21.519 --> 00:09:25.019 you know what it was so like you could tell that 00:09:25.019 --> 00:09:28.419 like my eyebrows, half of it was missing because 00:09:28.419 --> 00:09:30.740 I used to pick it all in whatever. But little 00:09:30.740 --> 00:09:34.600 do they know, people had no idea what I was going 00:09:34.600 --> 00:09:36.779 through in my life. People had no idea that I 00:09:36.779 --> 00:09:39.279 had bad anxiety. And it's like they made fun 00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:41.919 of me and they made comments and jokes and things 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:43.500 like that. And you know what, in the moment I'd 00:09:43.500 --> 00:09:44.980 kind of go along with it and be like, yeah, haha, 00:09:45.220 --> 00:09:50.779 whatever. But that was so, so damaging to myself 00:09:50.779 --> 00:09:53.480 as a person that I still think about that and 00:09:53.480 --> 00:09:56.440 I'm still quite conscious. of my brows or of 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:58.960 things on my face or things like it is something 00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:03.080 that is really hurt that was a really personal 00:10:03.080 --> 00:10:05.779 to me at the time and something that I've always 00:10:05.779 --> 00:10:09.240 been so conscious of and it's a small thing for 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:12.519 people but for me it's a big thing but you don't 00:10:12.519 --> 00:10:14.960 know that I'm going through that and now like 00:10:15.129 --> 00:10:17.269 It's become an obsession of mine to make sure 00:10:17.269 --> 00:10:20.389 I always have amazing eyebrows because of that 00:10:20.389 --> 00:10:23.450 experience. Yeah, still to this day, still to 00:10:23.450 --> 00:10:25.269 this day. And this was like eight years ago. 00:10:26.769 --> 00:10:28.990 Yeah, very sad. I mean, look, we've we've all 00:10:28.990 --> 00:10:31.129 dealt with that stuff. I think until someone 00:10:31.129 --> 00:10:33.830 comes to the point of acceptance or ever in that 00:10:33.830 --> 00:10:37.690 case, like you're lucky. Like I was I would rather 00:10:37.690 --> 00:10:40.149 someone have picked on me in high school, for 00:10:40.149 --> 00:10:41.850 example, than someone like you, because like 00:10:41.850 --> 00:10:44.700 I said before, I was. I learned at a very young 00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:49.120 age and I had a very stable life in general where 00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:52.840 I thankfully didn't have to, I didn't take that 00:10:52.840 --> 00:10:55.639 stuff too personally. Obviously it still affects 00:10:55.639 --> 00:10:57.399 you and it still sticks with you to an extent 00:10:57.399 --> 00:11:00.330 but like. I've been picked out for things before. 00:11:00.690 --> 00:11:02.889 I'm not gonna make it seem dramatic, but like 00:11:02.889 --> 00:11:04.629 for example, people used to tell me all the time 00:11:04.629 --> 00:11:06.870 that I've got like a manly head structure, like 00:11:06.870 --> 00:11:10.350 I've got really defined cheekbones. Defined cheekbones? 00:11:10.710 --> 00:11:14.090 That's an insult? Now I'm like, thanks Queen, 00:11:14.190 --> 00:11:18.659 but before I was like, oh. And then I used to 00:11:18.659 --> 00:11:20.559 like pay attention, like I used to pick it out 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:22.519 in photos. I used to be like, oh, the way I'm 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:25.639 smiling defines my cheeks too much. Now people 00:11:25.639 --> 00:11:28.679 get filler in their cheeks because of that. Another 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:33.679 thing, I have a gap in my tooth, which at the 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:35.720 beginning, now I really don't care what anyone 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:37.539 has to say about it, but it's one of the first 00:11:37.539 --> 00:11:40.200 things people notice about me. Fine, no worries. 00:11:41.149 --> 00:11:43.009 do they know that's actually what kept me in 00:11:43.009 --> 00:11:45.210 the modeling industry so I'm not gonna sit there 00:11:45.210 --> 00:11:47.690 and take for it you know what I mean but like 00:11:47.690 --> 00:11:50.730 all these things you don't know why like how 00:11:50.730 --> 00:11:52.750 someone is going to react to them is my point 00:11:52.750 --> 00:11:54.889 so now if someone made a comment about these 00:11:54.889 --> 00:11:58.620 things to me I would be like okay Thankfully, 00:11:58.620 --> 00:12:01.639 I'm someone who can take it and not someone that, 00:12:01.639 --> 00:12:03.960 you know, has a low self esteem or is going through 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:05.639 something that would take it in a really bad 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:07.639 way. But you never know who you're talking to. 00:12:07.899 --> 00:12:10.879 So don't ever pick on something that literally 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:12.840 that someone can't change straight away because 00:12:12.840 --> 00:12:16.840 it can be really damaging. And not only that, 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:19.059 but you will walk away feeling like a really 00:12:19.059 --> 00:12:21.379 guilty person or feeling worse than you already 00:12:21.379 --> 00:12:23.399 do. Because obviously, for you to be taking the 00:12:23.399 --> 00:12:27.009 time out of your day to going in. Add to go and 00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:29.289 pick something off someone else that has not 00:12:29.289 --> 00:12:32.710 absolutely nothing to do with you. It's like. 00:12:33.990 --> 00:12:36.409 Like it's clearly you're going through something 00:12:36.409 --> 00:12:39.149 clearly clearly insecure yeah clearly it's something 00:12:39.149 --> 00:12:45.269 how about. The thing of like to stem away from 00:12:45.269 --> 00:12:51.360 kind of high school and like where. Obsessiveness 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:53.799 with appearance has stemmed from which is obviously 00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:56.879 childhood which we just spoke about what about 00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:01.379 the prospect of. Beauty never being enough like 00:13:01.379 --> 00:13:04.759 it never being enough okay oh my hair is straight 00:13:04.759 --> 00:13:07.059 okay great now i need to all but my lips are 00:13:07.059 --> 00:13:09.419 too small or no but i'm not skinny enough or 00:13:09.419 --> 00:13:16.360 but. The prospect of it never being. enough why 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:19.460 where does that come from social media beauty 00:13:19.460 --> 00:13:23.659 products commercials you know what that is something 00:13:23.659 --> 00:13:26.659 that i genuinely like again once you get to the 00:13:26.659 --> 00:13:29.279 point of acceptance you realize that beauty really 00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:32.559 shines from the inside are you really no one 00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:35.460 is going to be friends will. Someone might be 00:13:35.460 --> 00:13:37.639 but i'm saying in general the people that you 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:39.360 keep the closest to you are not going to be people 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:41.019 that you have in your life just because they're 00:13:41.019 --> 00:13:45.279 pretty person they're not trust me i like they're 00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:48.519 not it's not that's not what if that's your criteria 00:13:48.519 --> 00:13:51.179 for keeping someone in your life. You need a 00:13:51.179 --> 00:13:55.919 refrain that i watch this video once and i every 00:13:55.919 --> 00:14:00.860 time i feel insecure about my parents. Or my 00:14:00.860 --> 00:14:03.740 skin's bad or I'm struggling with weight or whatever 00:14:03.740 --> 00:14:07.940 it may be. I always go back to this and in this 00:14:07.940 --> 00:14:12.320 video. A person a woman was talking about appearance 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:18.240 and she was like. When you die. And you have 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:22.840 your funeral. And people are morning you friends 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:25.559 family loved ones close ones and they're standing 00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:29.470 there. They're gonna remember. you as a human 00:14:29.470 --> 00:14:31.470 being. You for who you were. They're not going 00:14:31.470 --> 00:14:36.789 to sit there and be like, oh wow, like, Rose 00:14:36.789 --> 00:14:39.970 had such good abs or like Rose had the biggest 00:14:39.970 --> 00:14:43.750 lips. Wow, like so great. No, they're going to 00:14:43.750 --> 00:14:46.970 remember who you are as a person and what kind 00:14:46.970 --> 00:14:49.490 of mark you left on this world. A hundred percent. 00:14:49.490 --> 00:14:53.809 And I remember that every single time I struggle 00:14:53.809 --> 00:14:56.669 with my appearance or I have insecurities in 00:14:56.669 --> 00:15:00.559 whatever way that Is I always like, but who am 00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:03.460 I inherently as a human being? I'm a good person. 00:15:03.899 --> 00:15:06.019 I know that for a fact. And I know that I make 00:15:06.019 --> 00:15:08.559 a difference by being in this world in whatever 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:10.879 way that may be. Every single person in this 00:15:10.879 --> 00:15:14.220 world has is here for a reason. Correct. Yeah. 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.820 Correct. It goes way beyond what you look like. 00:15:17.100 --> 00:15:20.360 Way beyond. But the society conditions us to 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:24.080 maintain appearance, to be the certain beauty 00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:27.159 standard that we have looked up to all our lives 00:15:27.159 --> 00:15:29.480 in social media and magazines, in the modeling 00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:33.539 industry, in the acting industry. You know, me 00:15:33.539 --> 00:15:36.340 and you, modeling and acting industry, where 00:15:36.340 --> 00:15:40.399 it is unfortunately all about appearance, even 00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:43.100 in the acting world. The amount of times I have 00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:48.350 been this close to getting a role. In massive 00:15:48.350 --> 00:15:51.730 films that people watch and it's like oh hold 00:15:51.730 --> 00:15:54.610 on hold on Hold on she's not got blue eyes or 00:15:54.610 --> 00:15:57.289 she's skinnier or she looks too much like it's 00:15:57.289 --> 00:16:00.909 all about looks yeah And it's very very damaging 00:16:00.909 --> 00:16:03.350 because unfortunately it's not about talent like 00:16:03.350 --> 00:16:05.629 I know that I know that I can act I know that 00:16:05.629 --> 00:16:08.629 I can do this but in this industry and in the 00:16:08.629 --> 00:16:12.830 same in your modeling industry too like it's 00:16:12.830 --> 00:16:17.710 insane how Much criticism we get of not being 00:16:17.710 --> 00:16:20.509 enough and obviously that's why people struggle 00:16:20.509 --> 00:16:22.710 with their appearance because you never feel 00:16:22.710 --> 00:16:24.669 like you're enough because you're made to feel 00:16:24.669 --> 00:16:27.769 like you're never enough the most beautiful people 00:16:27.769 --> 00:16:32.250 I know who are. Just gorgeous on the outside 00:16:32.250 --> 00:16:36.090 don't know that they are that beautiful on the 00:16:36.090 --> 00:16:38.789 outside because of basically everything I've 00:16:38.789 --> 00:16:41.889 listed here and you know what I want to shake 00:16:41.889 --> 00:16:45.320 them and be like dude. Yeah. You are such a beautiful 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:48.139 human being. And because you're so gorgeous on 00:16:48.139 --> 00:16:52.320 the inside, that makes you hot. That makes you 00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:54.220 beautiful. That's exactly what I was going to 00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:56.639 say. And I've seen the complete opposite as well. 00:16:56.740 --> 00:16:58.980 I've seen exactly what you just said. People 00:16:58.980 --> 00:17:01.659 that are like bloody VS supermodels sitting there 00:17:01.659 --> 00:17:03.799 saying that, you know, they're insecure about 00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:05.819 things. And then I've seen people on the other 00:17:05.819 --> 00:17:07.980 end that may not be considered, you know, the 00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:11.200 most conventionally. attractive people that are 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:13.559 sitting there and they literally shine from within 00:17:13.559 --> 00:17:16.079 that it makes them such a beautiful person. You 00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:17.759 know what, I would consider myself one of those 00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:20.000 people. I'm not by any chance saying, you know, 00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:22.039 I'm trying to make myself sound like I'm not. 00:17:22.299 --> 00:17:24.960 I think I'm conventionally alright. I think I'm 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:27.339 a pretty person. But I'm not like a Victoria's 00:17:27.339 --> 00:17:30.480 Secret supermodel, yet I genuinely don't care 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:32.859 about that because I know that as a person, I'm 00:17:32.859 --> 00:17:36.000 a beautiful person. And I think once you see 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:39.400 that in other people as well, It's so much more 00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:42.660 impactful and like something to care about than 00:17:42.660 --> 00:17:45.579 what they look like. I don't care if you're a 00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:48.220 10 out of 10, if your heart is a one out of 10. 00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:51.279 I really don't. Don't even come near me because 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:53.920 that makes you so beyond ugly. There have been 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:58.119 people in my life that I used to like look at 00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:01.059 and be like, Oh my goodness, you are the most 00:18:01.059 --> 00:18:04.640 beautiful. aesthetically human being I'm so attracted 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:09.440 to you, then I get to know them and I get fully 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:12.799 in doubt. I'm fully like, oh my god, now I cannot 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.339 view you in any other way. You are the ugliest 00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:17.700 person because you're just a shit person. Because 00:18:17.700 --> 00:18:21.000 your heart is just not there. Yeah. You could 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.400 be conventionally attractive, but like you said, 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:27.640 if your heart's a one out of 10, You're not gonna 00:18:27.640 --> 00:18:30.220 get far in life at all not even by looks looks 00:18:30.220 --> 00:18:32.660 can only get you so far You know what is why 00:18:32.660 --> 00:18:34.900 a lot of people say you know initially even with 00:18:34.900 --> 00:18:36.779 relationships that the first thing is attraction 00:18:36.779 --> 00:18:38.740 and then personality is what makes you stay because 00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:42.119 it's important guys It's so much more important 00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:44.539 if you want to prioritize and obsess about your 00:18:44.539 --> 00:18:47.240 appearance in one way Obsess about your way the 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:48.980 way that you're appearing to other people from 00:18:48.980 --> 00:18:51.700 a personality standpoint Think about the ways 00:18:51.700 --> 00:18:54.119 that you can appear in the best light to other 00:18:54.119 --> 00:18:57.619 people have the best impact on other people just 00:18:57.619 --> 00:18:59.759 literally shine from within. That is like my 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:01.940 biggest goal in life. You know, I had someone 00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:04.539 of my friends at work the other day literally 00:19:04.539 --> 00:19:07.039 say to me, I don't know what it is, but I'm just 00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:10.099 constantly drawn to you. And it was the cutest 00:19:10.099 --> 00:19:12.980 thing I have heard in a while. I started blushing. 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:16.400 I was like, what? I was like, thank you so much. 00:19:16.579 --> 00:19:18.779 Because like, that is probably one of the best 00:19:18.779 --> 00:19:21.420 compliments I've ever received ever. Because 00:19:21.420 --> 00:19:25.400 being a magnetic person is to me, And I'm sure 00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:27.059 a lot of people listening to this that have gone 00:19:27.059 --> 00:19:30.880 through similar things or like come to a point 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:33.619 where they're accepting that, you know, physical 00:19:33.619 --> 00:19:36.200 appearance is not the be all and end all. It's 00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:38.740 like the best thing ever to hear something like 00:19:38.740 --> 00:19:41.640 that. Absolutely. Yeah, it's it's so rewarding 00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:43.839 and so much more valuable than so much more. 00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:46.319 I had a similar experience where I remember I 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:48.799 was actually going through a break my breakup 00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:52.539 at the time and. I was really, really sad and 00:19:52.539 --> 00:19:56.740 I felt really insecure. I felt really like, honestly, 00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:01.079 like my ego just like plummeted and my self -love 00:20:01.079 --> 00:20:03.140 and everything. I was just not in a good place. 00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:06.740 And I woke up one morning and I was like, you 00:20:06.740 --> 00:20:09.259 know what? I'm actually going to, I'm going to 00:20:09.259 --> 00:20:11.640 have a good day today. I'm going to get ready 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:15.240 for the day. I'm going to say some affirmations. 00:20:15.319 --> 00:20:17.240 Affirmations personally helped me, you know, 00:20:17.259 --> 00:20:19.299 when I repeat them constantly, they kind of get 00:20:19.299 --> 00:20:21.240 stuck in my head and I'm like, okay. you know, 00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:24.960 I am a good person. I am beautiful inside and 00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:27.000 out, you know, I radiate a good energy, whatever 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:31.299 it might be. I was walking to work and this random 00:20:31.299 --> 00:20:36.019 woman just stopped, like a group of women, and 00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:37.480 they were like older women, like they weren't 00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:39.680 having a flirt or anything, but like they stopped 00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:42.099 me on the street and they were like, sorry, we 00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:44.700 just wanted to stop you and say there is something 00:20:44.700 --> 00:20:49.220 about you and you radiate a lot of beauty. And 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:53.579 I was just like, I think I started cheering up 00:20:53.579 --> 00:20:56.420 because I was having such a shit week or such 00:20:56.420 --> 00:20:59.480 a shit month up until that day and that changed 00:20:59.480 --> 00:21:02.259 everything for me and I didn't even feel like, 00:21:02.259 --> 00:21:06.460 I didn't look my best, I didn't get ready in 00:21:06.460 --> 00:21:08.400 any particular way, it was just another casual 00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.099 day at work, put my hair up in a bun. But you 00:21:11.099 --> 00:21:12.980 felt different. But I felt different. And you 00:21:12.980 --> 00:21:15.839 projected different. I felt and they felt that 00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:19.400 very energetically but but you know what I felt 00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:23.059 that too when I in myself am accepting and feel 00:21:23.059 --> 00:21:25.079 like you know what I'm gonna put my best foot 00:21:25.079 --> 00:21:29.000 forward today people flock at you like fully 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:30.980 flock at you I'm not just talking about like 00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:34.240 a like guys from a physical standpoint I'm talking 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:38.349 about like Your energy experience is not even 00:21:38.349 --> 00:21:42.769 people like you start attracting so much into 00:21:42.769 --> 00:21:45.910 your life little things but if you're aware of 00:21:45.910 --> 00:21:50.170 it you're like. This happened and this happened 00:21:50.170 --> 00:21:54.130 and this interaction happened. Like it is insane 00:21:54.130 --> 00:21:56.809 once you actually take a step back from your 00:21:56.809 --> 00:21:59.950 appearance and think to yourself who am I inherently 00:21:59.950 --> 00:22:04.150 as a human being what qualities do I adopt and 00:22:04.150 --> 00:22:06.880 you radiate that. And that makes you 10 times 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:09.299 more hotter. And you know what, we do need to 00:22:09.299 --> 00:22:11.420 touch on this as well, is that like me and Rose, 00:22:11.460 --> 00:22:13.319 for example, are very comfortable around each 00:22:13.319 --> 00:22:15.339 other. I know Rose even said to me one of the, 00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:17.519 and this was another thing that made me so happy, 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:19.579 is like she was like, I've never felt like I 00:22:19.579 --> 00:22:22.119 can fully be myself around pretty much any of 00:22:22.119 --> 00:22:24.359 my friends until I met you. That's the only kind 00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:26.319 of friend I want to be. I don't want someone 00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:28.440 to, you know, hang out with me because I've had 00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:30.160 situations like this before where I've gone out 00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.200 with friends and I felt like I had to go out 00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:34.720 with them wearing makeup or I had to go. and 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:37.039 refrain from a joke that they wouldn't find funny 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:40.819 or whatever. We're both sitting here with no 00:22:40.819 --> 00:22:43.640 makeup. I'm in my work clothes. I look like a 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:49.059 librarian. You're wearing my sweater. You're 00:22:49.059 --> 00:22:53.000 Beth. We've become so comfortable and I think 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.339 we've gotten to a good place. We're in the sense 00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:59.109 of I think we understand. We still both struggle 00:22:59.109 --> 00:23:01.650 with the parents. I know that I do a lot. Everyone 00:23:01.650 --> 00:23:03.970 does. You know, 10 out of 10 every single day. 00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:07.369 But my point with with that was it obviously 00:23:07.369 --> 00:23:09.990 comes with finding people and surrounding yourself 00:23:09.990 --> 00:23:13.349 with people that will make you be able to feel 00:23:13.349 --> 00:23:16.440 like the best version of yourself. If you. Feel 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:19.039 like you're this radiant bubble, but then around 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.400 you, you've got a bunch of miserable people or 00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:24.019 people that, you know, inherently always make 00:23:24.019 --> 00:23:26.559 comments about people's appearance or constantly 00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:30.160 talk about, you know, whatever badly about themselves, 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:33.900 like whatever it may be. Get those people out. 00:23:33.960 --> 00:23:36.519 Surrounding yourself with people that have a 00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:39.140 really low. self -esteem or low confidence can 00:23:39.140 --> 00:23:41.539 actually be quite detrimental to you and not 00:23:41.539 --> 00:23:43.519 saying that those people are bad people who shouldn't 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:45.660 surround yourself with them because sometimes 00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:47.680 that's what's going to happen in life like you're 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:49.819 never going to have people in your life that 00:23:49.819 --> 00:23:52.000 are always happy about themselves and la la la 00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:54.400 but it can be quite draining but if that's what 00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:56.740 they're like as a generic overall person we're 00:23:56.740 --> 00:23:59.259 not everyone has a bad day today when we saw 00:23:59.259 --> 00:24:01.779 each other we were like i was crying the other 00:24:01.779 --> 00:24:04.420 was infuriating yeah that's not to say that you 00:24:04.420 --> 00:24:09.079 don't have bad days or bad weeks or bad months. 00:24:09.099 --> 00:24:12.160 But if that's what you're like in general, if 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:16.059 all you do is talk about other people, if all 00:24:16.059 --> 00:24:18.980 you do is talk about yourself in such a bad light, 00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:20.900 then that's going to project and you don't want 00:24:20.900 --> 00:24:22.599 to be around people like that because that will 00:24:22.599 --> 00:24:26.319 set you 10 steps back in becoming that person. 00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:29.440 And maybe if you have people like that in your 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:32.900 life, you can help them too. You know, because 00:24:32.900 --> 00:24:35.000 I don't want to see somebody talk so awfully 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:38.740 about themselves constantly. Yep. I tell my friends 00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:41.759 all the time, like freaking beautiful. Shut up. 00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:44.660 Like, yeah, but you know what? Sometimes that 00:24:44.660 --> 00:24:48.000 just comes with being that role model for them. 00:24:48.059 --> 00:24:50.980 For example, I don't feel I don't feel like I 00:24:50.980 --> 00:24:53.619 ever came into your life and intentionally said 00:24:53.619 --> 00:24:57.849 to you like. here I am this is what you need 00:24:57.849 --> 00:25:00.269 to do I was just myself and then you felt like 00:25:00.269 --> 00:25:03.190 you could be yourself and sometimes it's just 00:25:03.190 --> 00:25:06.289 like being that role model for someone or being 00:25:06.289 --> 00:25:09.589 the person that you want to attract as well in 00:25:09.589 --> 00:25:14.349 your life is enough sometimes so once you build 00:25:14.349 --> 00:25:17.089 up that light as long as you don't have the people 00:25:17.089 --> 00:25:21.400 around you that are crushing that for you You 00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:22.680 might be someone that's just struggling with 00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:25.319 something, but just be yourself and be kind and 00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:28.960 and They'll get there in the end. Yes, be kind 00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:32.500 to yourself and others and just Every time it 00:25:32.500 --> 00:25:37.200 is free and every time You think about your appearance 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.900 or it makes you or it destroys you because unfortunately 00:25:40.900 --> 00:25:44.680 does destroy us Sometimes when we overthink ourselves 00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:46.980 and the way that we look in the way that we present 00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:50.099 ourselves to the world go back to who you are 00:25:50.099 --> 00:25:52.400 inherently and if there are things that you're 00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:55.480 like you physically want to change about yourself 00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:58.700 think about why you want to do that is it for 00:25:58.700 --> 00:26:00.940 yourself is it gonna make you happy or is it 00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:03.059 gonna make other people happy are you doing it 00:26:03.059 --> 00:26:05.160 for the world are you like okay conventionally 00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:07.599 like I should my lips are so small or like I 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:09.319 need to lose weight or I need to put on weight 00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:12.839 or whatever whatever it is or I need to act a 00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:15.380 certain way because that's how society wants 00:26:15.380 --> 00:26:17.619 me to be or that's how my friends are or that's 00:26:17.619 --> 00:26:21.390 how this person is that's being totally inauthentic 00:26:21.390 --> 00:26:25.950 to yourself. So go back to your core. Oh no, 00:26:25.950 --> 00:26:29.349 I was just going to say, I think that exact sentence 00:26:29.349 --> 00:26:33.089 is what I've used as the basis of my morals and 00:26:33.089 --> 00:26:35.970 my life to be accepting of the physical things. 00:26:36.450 --> 00:26:39.849 For example, for me, my gap tooth, I never thought 00:26:39.849 --> 00:26:42.009 was a big deal. It has not bothered me once. 00:26:42.089 --> 00:26:43.930 How many times have I considered getting braces? 00:26:44.430 --> 00:26:46.930 Endless. When I really come back to it though, 00:26:46.930 --> 00:26:49.069 I'm like, but it's not really bothering me. I'm 00:26:49.069 --> 00:26:51.170 fine. I'm fine either way. I really don't care. 00:26:51.490 --> 00:26:54.210 It distinguishes you from other people. So I'm 00:26:54.210 --> 00:26:56.890 also like, hold on a second. I don't need to 00:26:56.890 --> 00:26:58.650 go and spend 10 grand right now to make other 00:26:58.650 --> 00:27:00.730 people happy if it doesn't bother me. But if 00:27:00.730 --> 00:27:03.299 it did bother me, I would go and do it. No problem. 00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:06.259 But coming to that distinction of, hold on, it's 00:27:06.259 --> 00:27:07.799 not bothering me, I'm doing it for other people, 00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:10.700 big, big thing to note as well. You've got to 00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:12.960 completely separate that, and I think that's 00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:14.819 what I was trying to say before. Yeah. Totally. 00:27:15.059 --> 00:27:17.000 Not only physically, like personality -wise. 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:20.160 Personality -wise, yes. But I think, yeah, this 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:22.440 is an episode that we feel very, very passionate 00:27:22.440 --> 00:27:26.579 about, specifically as women, but it's very much 00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:30.150 so, yeah. Just going back to the core of who 00:27:30.150 --> 00:27:32.069 you are as a human being and what you want to 00:27:32.069 --> 00:27:34.730 be remembered as. Not be remembered for your 00:27:34.730 --> 00:27:38.450 pretty face or your pretty body or your pretty 00:27:38.450 --> 00:27:42.150 feet. Be remembered for being a good person, 00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:47.309 for being a good friend, a good parent, for being 00:27:47.309 --> 00:27:51.349 passionate, for being loyal. All of the above. 00:27:51.710 --> 00:27:55.069 We've yapped way too much and I think it's time 00:27:55.069 --> 00:28:01.400 to wrap it up. We hope this felt like the 14th 00:28:01.400 --> 00:28:04.279 therapy session. Yes, we hope you got something 00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:08.259 out of it. And like we said in the previous episode, 00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:11.319 if this has impacted you in any way or if any 00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:14.660 episode has impacted you in any way, please, 00:28:14.980 --> 00:28:19.500 please reach out. and let us know. We love to 00:28:19.500 --> 00:28:23.119 hear from everyone. We save every single message. 00:28:24.019 --> 00:28:26.279 We screenshot them all and we reply to everything. 00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:28.119 We've got a hundred bloody followers on like 00:28:28.119 --> 00:28:31.299 who are we? Do you know what I mean? Like we 00:28:31.299 --> 00:28:35.380 reply to everyone and we are so grateful that 00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:37.779 we have listeners and that we have people that 00:28:37.779 --> 00:28:40.799 we can, you know, make a difference to and we're 00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:42.779 just going to continue because we love what we 00:28:42.779 --> 00:28:52.180 do and stay tuned. All right, that's it. I think 00:28:52.180 --> 00:28:54.039 this episode we just weren't meant to say it 00:28:54.039 --> 00:28:57.160 together at all. No. Anyways, we love you, share, 00:28:57.819 --> 00:29:00.079 listen, like, listen, whatever you want to do. 00:29:00.460 --> 00:29:02.880 Message us, message me, message Emanuella. Anyway, 00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:03.660 goodbye.