WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.799 Are you feeling lost? Well, you've come to the 00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:05.219 right place. Welcome to Lost -ish, where we, 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:08.000 Rose Chachko and Emanuella Kathreptakis, share 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:10.160 what it's really like navigating your twenties. 00:00:10.359 --> 00:00:12.900 We're two semi -lost girls figuring out careers, 00:00:13.339 --> 00:00:15.820 relationships, wellness, purpose and everything 00:00:15.820 --> 00:00:18.120 in between. Each week we dive into the highs, 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:20.600 the lows and lessons of chasing your dreams, 00:00:20.820 --> 00:00:23.039 finding happiness and learning to embrace the 00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:25.179 uncertainty. We're not here to pretend like we've 00:00:25.179 --> 00:00:27.739 got it all together. We're simply just figuring 00:00:27.739 --> 00:00:35.270 it out with you. Hello everyone and welcome back 00:00:35.270 --> 00:00:38.810 to episode three of the Lostish podcast. We're 00:00:38.810 --> 00:00:41.390 very happy to be back and presenting another 00:00:41.390 --> 00:00:45.649 episode for you guys. This is something that 00:00:45.649 --> 00:00:49.170 we actually feel very passionate about and something 00:00:49.170 --> 00:00:50.869 we feel that is really important to talk about 00:00:50.869 --> 00:00:53.700 and we are going to get Straight into it. I think 00:00:53.700 --> 00:00:55.899 this is actually going to be one of my favorite 00:00:55.899 --> 00:00:59.039 episodes that we ever feel I think so early into 00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:01.640 the podcast but we talk about this a lot as well 00:01:01.640 --> 00:01:04.879 you and I about the importance of your circle 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.219 and I think that comes with friendships relationships 00:01:08.219 --> 00:01:10.379 family the people that you surround yourself 00:01:10.379 --> 00:01:14.099 with Inspirations people that you look up to 00:01:14.099 --> 00:01:18.920 as well. Yeah, I'd say it's basically encompassing 00:01:18.920 --> 00:01:23.069 nailing down to that like 10 people also that 00:01:23.069 --> 00:01:26.590 you spend your most time around most time with 00:01:26.590 --> 00:01:28.569 you that inspire you the most that you look up 00:01:28.569 --> 00:01:31.849 to the most and How they can affect how you become 00:01:31.849 --> 00:01:35.780 as a person? Yeah 100 % and I think I'm I think 00:01:35.780 --> 00:01:37.859 it's something that we both have struggled with 00:01:37.859 --> 00:01:40.040 along the years, you know, finding your circle, 00:01:40.379 --> 00:01:44.140 finding your people. Oh, for sure. It's something 00:01:44.140 --> 00:01:46.819 that, you know, you still kind of struggle with 00:01:46.819 --> 00:01:49.379 and you keep evolving because you meet so many 00:01:49.379 --> 00:01:52.739 people as you progress in life and sometimes 00:01:52.739 --> 00:01:54.379 you meet the right people, sometimes you meet 00:01:54.379 --> 00:01:57.359 the wrong people and sometimes even meeting the 00:01:57.359 --> 00:01:59.879 wrong people can really lead you to somewhere. 00:02:00.349 --> 00:02:03.689 Really special. Oh, yeah lessons for sure I mean 00:02:03.689 --> 00:02:07.010 you and I how we met like we initially didn't 00:02:07.010 --> 00:02:09.409 even think we were gonna be friends No, actually 00:02:09.409 --> 00:02:13.159 not at all like literally we thought we are not 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:14.599 going to keep in touch. We thought we were going 00:02:14.599 --> 00:02:16.659 to be friends with other people and we met. Nothing 00:02:16.659 --> 00:02:18.879 deep. We just didn't seem like we're each other's 00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:21.979 type of friendship. No, and we've developed into 00:02:21.979 --> 00:02:25.120 like literally a you're my family. Iconic duo. 00:02:25.699 --> 00:02:28.840 Iconic duo. Everyone that knows me knows her. 00:02:29.039 --> 00:02:32.479 Correct and vice versa. So should we just get 00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:35.659 right into it? Yeah, let's go. I think we'll 00:02:35.659 --> 00:02:38.620 start off by kind of not going too in depth, 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:40.479 but giving a little bit of a backstory of the 00:02:40.479 --> 00:02:42.419 kind of stuff that we went through and how that 00:02:42.419 --> 00:02:45.699 helped us develop into the friendships and how 00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:48.919 we see and value and select the people that we 00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:52.099 spend our most time with now. You can start. 00:02:52.360 --> 00:02:56.080 Yeah, no, I'm happy to share my little life story 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:58.680 when it comes to friendships and relationships 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:02.949 and things. I think I've always been a person 00:03:02.949 --> 00:03:07.590 that really values and cherishes human connection. 00:03:08.370 --> 00:03:11.789 So whenever I have someone in my life who I really 00:03:11.789 --> 00:03:13.889 love and appreciate, whether it's a friend or 00:03:13.889 --> 00:03:17.569 a family member or a partner, I'm like in it 00:03:17.569 --> 00:03:20.530 deep. Like I'm like, I will literally die for 00:03:20.530 --> 00:03:24.069 this person. I make a lot of sacrifices for this 00:03:24.069 --> 00:03:28.800 person and or people. And I haven't always felt 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:30.900 like that's been reciprocated. And I think that 00:03:30.900 --> 00:03:33.759 started for me back in high school where I actually 00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:37.639 really, I struggled with friendships. Like I 00:03:37.639 --> 00:03:40.620 had friends, I had people that I was friends 00:03:40.620 --> 00:03:43.039 with. To be honest, I think it says a lot that 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:45.479 I don't keep in contact with a single person 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:47.400 from high school. I think that's very common 00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:50.060 though. I don't think, I think a few people have 00:03:50.060 --> 00:03:53.379 one, two or no friends from high school still. 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:55.240 That's so interesting you say that because I 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:57.819 think... All the people that I was friends in 00:03:57.819 --> 00:03:59.979 high school with are still like friends with 00:03:59.979 --> 00:04:02.460 each other, which is like, what, five years down 00:04:02.460 --> 00:04:05.020 the track. But I mean, look, like each to their 00:04:05.020 --> 00:04:08.659 own. Like it's not, it's not saying that people 00:04:08.659 --> 00:04:11.199 don't make genuine connections in high school 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:14.120 like they do, but I just really struggled with 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:15.719 that. I think also though, which we'll expand 00:04:15.719 --> 00:04:19.759 on for sure in this podcast episode, but people 00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:22.860 can outgrow their high school. friendships as 00:04:22.860 --> 00:04:25.120 well fully and it doesn't always have to be a 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:27.660 bad thing like props to them for staying in contact 00:04:27.660 --> 00:04:31.259 but doesn't mean we have to no don't get me wrong 00:04:31.259 --> 00:04:33.279 this is coming from someone who is friends with 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:35.639 quite a few of my high school friendships yeah 00:04:35.639 --> 00:04:39.459 um but Yeah, I know it's very, very common that 00:04:39.459 --> 00:04:42.360 people don't. So don't feel alone. Thanks. No, 00:04:42.420 --> 00:04:44.060 that's that's actually nice to hear because I 00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.199 still think about that till this day, like, I'll 00:04:46.199 --> 00:04:48.620 have conversations with people about friendships 00:04:48.620 --> 00:04:50.839 and like, you know, high school and things like 00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:53.379 that, which which is a very big part of your 00:04:53.379 --> 00:04:54.899 life. And I think when you're in high school, 00:04:54.899 --> 00:04:57.949 you feel like it's kind of the bill and end all 00:04:57.949 --> 00:04:59.810 when you're in that environment like friendships 00:04:59.810 --> 00:05:01.389 is everything you've got your clicks you've got 00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:03.670 your popular kids you've got you're not so popular 00:05:03.670 --> 00:05:06.889 kids you know like it's it's there's such a group 00:05:06.889 --> 00:05:08.930 dynamic and i remember feeling like oh my god 00:05:08.930 --> 00:05:11.370 i always had to fit in like i always had to fit 00:05:11.370 --> 00:05:14.089 in i always had to have this sort of i have it 00:05:14.089 --> 00:05:17.350 all together persona when i really didn't and 00:05:17.350 --> 00:05:21.269 i was in the same boat as you 100 um yeah no 00:05:21.269 --> 00:05:26.620 i get it thanks I did get it. Yeah so it's one 00:05:26.620 --> 00:05:30.779 of those things where I definitely outgrew my 00:05:30.779 --> 00:05:34.600 high school circle and I absolutely found my 00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:36.319 circle coming out of high school. Yeah I went 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:38.600 to drama school and I found like literally my 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:41.540 best friends there and everyone in my life right 00:05:41.540 --> 00:05:44.339 now is people that I've met outside of that school 00:05:44.339 --> 00:05:47.670 environment and it was hard. It was really hard 00:05:47.670 --> 00:05:49.209 because I remember being like, like, why don't 00:05:49.209 --> 00:05:52.069 I just connect with people back in school? Like, 00:05:52.069 --> 00:05:55.610 why, why is everyone always wanting, you know, 00:05:55.709 --> 00:05:57.910 to be popular or to be someone better and to 00:05:57.910 --> 00:05:59.970 be with the cool kids and to have all these guys 00:05:59.970 --> 00:06:01.810 and friends and parties and things like that. 00:06:01.810 --> 00:06:03.949 And I felt like, like I was a theatre kid back 00:06:03.949 --> 00:06:06.009 in school. Like I was like the drama girl. Like 00:06:06.009 --> 00:06:09.069 I always, you know, was doing the shows and things 00:06:09.069 --> 00:06:12.360 like that. And people, I think. kind of put me 00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:15.240 in that category. And that's fine because you 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:17.680 put, you know, you do have categories in high 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.680 school, which sucks. And it's also, I think I 00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:23.399 remembered what I was about to say now. Um, it's 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:26.319 cause you spend in high school, you spend five 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:29.079 days a week, every week for years on end with 00:06:29.079 --> 00:06:32.319 the same people. Most of the time. Um, it's even 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:33.920 harder when you're moving from school to school, 00:06:33.939 --> 00:06:36.920 which I fully understand as well. Um, but yeah, 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:38.639 I think that's what it's got to do with. And 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.110 then obviously. Yeah, you meet people along the 00:06:41.110 --> 00:06:43.069 way, you're in different friend groups along 00:06:43.069 --> 00:06:45.790 the way and people can betray you along the way. 00:06:46.290 --> 00:06:49.470 Oh yeah, know about that one. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely 00:06:49.470 --> 00:06:52.769 felt, felt like I was betrayed by my own friends 00:06:52.769 --> 00:06:54.730 because people I've been friends with for years 00:06:54.730 --> 00:06:58.730 and years and years, um, in school, who I thought 00:06:58.730 --> 00:07:01.589 I would keep in contact with and I don't, and 00:07:01.589 --> 00:07:04.129 that's okay. Like you said, you outgrow people 00:07:04.129 --> 00:07:07.430 and that's okay. People are in your life to either, 00:07:07.430 --> 00:07:10.370 you know, um, have you learned from something 00:07:10.370 --> 00:07:13.269 or it could be a lesson or it could be a genuine 00:07:13.269 --> 00:07:15.430 friendship, a genuine connection. Now, it doesn't 00:07:15.430 --> 00:07:17.370 always have to be a friendship thing. It could 00:07:17.370 --> 00:07:20.410 be a relationship thing as well. I mean, relationships 00:07:20.410 --> 00:07:22.129 is something that we will absolutely get into 00:07:22.129 --> 00:07:25.410 the podcast later on. But I think, yeah, sorry 00:07:25.410 --> 00:07:28.050 to cut you off, but just to expand on that in 00:07:28.050 --> 00:07:30.980 relation to this episode. I think it's one of 00:07:30.980 --> 00:07:32.860 the most important, like friendships are friendships, 00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:34.980 like you're my ride or die, you know that. But 00:07:34.980 --> 00:07:37.220 like in terms of a relationship, like we're talking, 00:07:37.339 --> 00:07:39.000 this is the person that you're potentially gonna 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:42.379 be living with for the rest of your life. So 00:07:42.379 --> 00:07:44.459 the person you choose to spend your time with 00:07:44.459 --> 00:07:46.240 is arguably one of the most important decisions 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:48.740 you'll ever make in your life. And you will end 00:07:48.740 --> 00:07:53.040 up morphing into some sort of a... you know product 00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:55.079 of this person as well so I think that's definitely 00:07:55.079 --> 00:07:56.899 an important one but I think we'll keep this 00:07:56.899 --> 00:07:59.319 episode based on the importance of your circle 00:07:59.319 --> 00:08:01.680 on a friendship basis because we'll get into 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:04.879 the whole family and relationships thing yeah 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:07.860 another one I had a question for you. Yes, ask 00:08:07.860 --> 00:08:10.819 away. I think, I personally think one of the 00:08:10.819 --> 00:08:13.319 most important values to have is in a friend 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.920 is support. Yeah. Like a person that will support 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:19.819 you and genuinely be there for you in your highest 00:08:19.819 --> 00:08:21.519 highs and your lowest lows because that's when 00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:23.279 you will know if they're a true friend. Yeah. 00:08:23.620 --> 00:08:25.699 How have you felt like you've been supported 00:08:25.699 --> 00:08:27.939 by past friendships and career compared to your 00:08:27.939 --> 00:08:30.139 like current friendships because personally, 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:34.820 and I'm not saying this to hype you up. but I 00:08:34.820 --> 00:08:37.779 think you are honestly like one of probably the 00:08:37.779 --> 00:08:40.840 best but one of three probably friends that I've 00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:44.159 had in my life that I felt this comfortable like 00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:47.419 that genuinely supports me that'll laugh with 00:08:47.419 --> 00:08:50.279 me cry with me but be there for me and I think 00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:54.600 it's very uncommon so Like, how often have you 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:56.799 experienced that? Did you experience it before? 00:08:56.840 --> 00:09:00.159 How has it changed? Go on. You better hype me 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:03.019 up as well. Oh, dude, I will hype you up any 00:09:03.019 --> 00:09:06.860 day, any time. And look, it's been a bit of a 00:09:06.860 --> 00:09:09.159 struggle to get to a place where I can say, I 00:09:09.159 --> 00:09:12.659 have friends that genuinely support me and from 00:09:12.659 --> 00:09:15.720 a really genuine place. Because, you know, like, 00:09:15.940 --> 00:09:17.639 you'll have friends that will be happy for you 00:09:17.639 --> 00:09:19.639 in certain areas, but there'll always be a bit 00:09:19.639 --> 00:09:22.279 of jealousy and a bit of like, oh, like, you 00:09:22.279 --> 00:09:25.549 know, Don't like wish you didn't really get there 00:09:25.549 --> 00:09:26.929 or like, you know, there's always going to be 00:09:26.929 --> 00:09:29.769 that sort of insecurity or a jealousy thing with 00:09:29.769 --> 00:09:33.190 friends, but I can honestly count on one hand 00:09:33.190 --> 00:09:37.809 that I have that genuine, authentic friendship 00:09:37.809 --> 00:09:41.169 where I have felt supported with literally like 00:09:41.169 --> 00:09:44.710 on one hand, like three, four people. And I'm 00:09:44.710 --> 00:09:47.110 excluding family members because family wholeheartedly 00:09:47.110 --> 00:09:49.049 support me. And I really, really feel that from 00:09:49.049 --> 00:09:54.809 them. High school. I don't think I ever really 00:09:54.809 --> 00:09:59.190 felt truly supported by my circle. And it took 00:09:59.190 --> 00:10:02.269 me, yeah, years and years and years to find people 00:10:02.269 --> 00:10:07.029 that I felt supported me from a genuine place. 00:10:07.470 --> 00:10:09.450 And when I say a genuine place, I know I've said 00:10:09.450 --> 00:10:13.019 that a lot, but like, I genuinely... honestly 00:10:13.019 --> 00:10:16.519 happy for me have no ill intent have no mal intent 00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:19.379 have no jealousy are just like they're you know 00:10:19.379 --> 00:10:22.399 crying for me being like oh my god she's she's 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:25.460 done it she's made it which i haven't really 00:10:25.460 --> 00:10:28.379 made it but like and i feel that from you honestly 00:10:28.379 --> 00:10:31.759 i could say like with you i feel like i can be 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:35.059 my authentic self i don't have to change who 00:10:35.059 --> 00:10:39.029 i am around you i can be silly i can be goofy 00:10:39.029 --> 00:10:41.990 i feel like you don't have to come dressed up 00:10:41.990 --> 00:10:45.870 i'm not judgmental no we've just got that quality 00:10:45.870 --> 00:10:49.370 which i love because we can just like take the 00:10:49.370 --> 00:10:51.740 piss out of each other but also When it's time 00:10:51.740 --> 00:10:54.179 to be serious, we're serious. Oh guys, Rose will 00:10:54.179 --> 00:10:56.419 have very passionate conversations with me and 00:10:56.419 --> 00:10:58.919 tell me if something's up. Oh, I'm a very honest 00:10:58.919 --> 00:11:01.259 person. Like I will tell you if I'm not, you 00:11:01.259 --> 00:11:02.679 know, if I'm like you, you're being an idiot. 00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:04.799 Like I will tell you and I expect the same thing 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:08.500 from you. And I think in my past, I've always 00:11:08.500 --> 00:11:11.039 felt very judged. I think that was the one thing 00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:13.580 I struggled with was I was always very judged 00:11:13.580 --> 00:11:16.419 by people, by being who I am, whether it's, you 00:11:16.419 --> 00:11:19.779 know, being too loud or too... passionate or 00:11:19.779 --> 00:11:22.360 you know like it's there's so many things that 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:26.720 I felt like I wasn't really seen or heard for 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:29.559 um and when I you know when I was at my highest 00:11:29.559 --> 00:11:31.240 highs yeah people were there for me cheering 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:33.559 me on you know when I was succeeding in life 00:11:33.559 --> 00:11:35.940 people were sliding to the dms and being like 00:11:35.940 --> 00:11:38.159 oh my god it's so awesome you're doing this but 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:40.779 like from people that I haven't heard from in 00:11:40.779 --> 00:11:43.620 years or people who have betrayed me back in 00:11:43.620 --> 00:11:46.490 the day It's funny how they wanna be your friends 00:11:46.490 --> 00:11:49.350 now, hey? It's really funny how the moment you 00:11:49.350 --> 00:11:52.889 let go and the moment you succeed in life or 00:11:52.889 --> 00:11:56.629 move on from them, there's always that kind of, 00:11:56.629 --> 00:11:58.370 they always come back sort of thing. Right, karma 00:11:58.370 --> 00:12:00.250 is a real thing. Karma is a real thing. Karma 00:12:00.250 --> 00:12:01.210 is a very real thing. And it's like, I'm not 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:02.809 interested. I don't want you in my life anymore. 00:12:03.049 --> 00:12:06.639 I found my people. You're my people. And I think 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:09.759 I actually want to ask you the same thing because 00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:13.759 I think it's rare to actually feel seen, understood 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:17.799 and supported by a person. When when did you 00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:20.279 feel that? Did you feel that after high school 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:23.200 or did you feel that in your like early 20s? 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:25.559 Like when did you kind of find your people? I 00:12:25.559 --> 00:12:27.899 mean, for me, I think I had a little bit of a 00:12:27.899 --> 00:12:30.940 different experience for you. Yeah. Because I'm 00:12:30.940 --> 00:12:34.159 still friends with. Quite a few people from my 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:36.980 childhood So I always grew up like being Greek 00:12:36.980 --> 00:12:39.259 like a lot of family friends a lot of people 00:12:39.259 --> 00:12:41.179 that I was close to But I wouldn't even consider 00:12:41.179 --> 00:12:43.919 them my best friends I if I was to think of my 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:46.059 best friends like I'm still very good friends 00:12:46.059 --> 00:12:48.860 with you know The first person I ever met in 00:12:48.860 --> 00:12:51.259 kindergarten because our family is very good 00:12:51.259 --> 00:12:52.980 friends. You'll know exactly who she is if she's 00:12:52.980 --> 00:12:55.139 listening to this I think I know who it is. Yeah, 00:12:55.139 --> 00:12:59.059 and then we've got like I Definitely did have 00:12:59.059 --> 00:13:02.129 some pretty bad high school experience like bullying 00:13:02.129 --> 00:13:05.909 experiences yeah um but i i think i took it like 00:13:05.909 --> 00:13:08.149 a champ like i'm not just saying that but i was 00:13:08.149 --> 00:13:11.669 a strange kid like i had these friends and then 00:13:11.669 --> 00:13:13.710 i remember like i'm not going to go into depth 00:13:13.710 --> 00:13:17.690 in it because it's all good now um but like i 00:13:17.690 --> 00:13:20.049 remember it happened when i was like 12 or 13 00:13:20.049 --> 00:13:22.090 years old and i swear to god i have proof of 00:13:22.090 --> 00:13:25.629 this i'll show you i literally went home after 00:13:25.629 --> 00:13:29.029 the whole incident happened it wasn't an incident 00:13:29.029 --> 00:13:32.329 specifically it was like a whole group incident 00:13:32.329 --> 00:13:34.710 and I just remember I like stopped being friends 00:13:34.710 --> 00:13:38.889 with these people and I went home and the first 00:13:38.889 --> 00:13:41.950 thing I did was not cry was not I literally wrote 00:13:41.950 --> 00:13:45.169 in my diary it feels like a weight off my shoulders 00:13:45.169 --> 00:13:48.669 wow and for a 12 year old that's strange wow 00:13:48.669 --> 00:13:51.110 like you think that that would change me I would 00:13:51.110 --> 00:13:53.909 hate people I'd want to quit school yeah but 00:13:53.909 --> 00:13:56.029 no but I'm not saying that's a universal experience 00:13:56.029 --> 00:13:58.190 like I think that was a bit I don't know. I felt 00:13:58.190 --> 00:14:00.610 like I, I think it comes down to the fact that 00:14:00.610 --> 00:14:03.690 I felt so loved in my home environment that that 00:14:03.690 --> 00:14:06.269 was just like, oh, well, like there's, I'll find 00:14:06.269 --> 00:14:08.850 other friends. And I, and I truly did not straight 00:14:08.850 --> 00:14:11.730 away, but I ended up staying in that school for 00:14:11.730 --> 00:14:14.090 the rest of high school. And I'd say year 10 00:14:14.090 --> 00:14:16.830 to 12 is where I found my high school people. 00:14:16.929 --> 00:14:19.730 Yeah. And then obviously after high school, I 00:14:19.730 --> 00:14:22.950 moved across the world and came back to Australia. 00:14:23.070 --> 00:14:28.169 And then I mean, after COVID, then I went to 00:14:28.169 --> 00:14:33.409 uni and met me. But yeah, I think my first love, 00:14:33.649 --> 00:14:37.350 see, like meeting you was very like out of the 00:14:37.350 --> 00:14:39.169 blue. So out of the blue. And that's when the 00:14:39.169 --> 00:14:42.509 best friendships happen. Let's give a quick rundown 00:14:42.509 --> 00:14:45.929 of how we met. Okay. So pretty much we had met 00:14:45.929 --> 00:14:48.429 in day one, year one of university when we were 00:14:48.429 --> 00:14:50.590 like 18 years old. She was 19 because she had 00:14:50.590 --> 00:14:54.029 gone to drama school for a year before. but we 00:14:54.029 --> 00:14:55.789 ended up being in the same degree and there were 00:14:55.789 --> 00:14:58.389 like five other girls at the same time that were 00:14:58.389 --> 00:15:03.529 also in our degree with us um yeah and I remember 00:15:03.529 --> 00:15:05.730 looking at Rose and thinking oh like she's really 00:15:05.730 --> 00:15:08.250 pretty all the girls were in all honesty like 00:15:08.250 --> 00:15:10.789 I'm so excited to meet these girls not for that 00:15:10.789 --> 00:15:12.730 reason sorry I don't want to make that up I'm 00:15:12.730 --> 00:15:15.090 gonna be their friend I just remember it wasn't 00:15:15.090 --> 00:15:17.129 a part no no it wasn't a part out of jealousy 00:15:17.129 --> 00:15:19.289 even it was literally just oh my god these girls 00:15:19.289 --> 00:15:21.629 are beautiful I'm so excited I'm so glad that 00:15:21.629 --> 00:15:24.710 you know there's all these like beautiful girls 00:15:24.710 --> 00:15:27.470 that are going to be working like close to me 00:15:27.470 --> 00:15:31.710 they all seemed so genuine so lovely and then 00:15:31.710 --> 00:15:34.330 but rose wasn't the first person that i was like 00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:35.990 which i'm which we've spoken about this before 00:15:35.990 --> 00:15:38.590 i wasn't the first person on my mind either that 00:15:38.590 --> 00:15:41.389 we thought we would be friends with no um but 00:15:41.389 --> 00:15:43.610 we ended up like us and these other five girls 00:15:43.610 --> 00:15:47.169 ended up making a group chat being like you know 00:15:47.169 --> 00:15:50.389 where the media and communications girl is and 00:15:50.389 --> 00:15:53.730 then we would message the group chat people would 00:15:53.730 --> 00:15:55.870 respond for maybe a week and then after that 00:15:55.870 --> 00:15:59.610 it was just silenced. Like none of them spoke 00:15:59.610 --> 00:16:01.850 again and I remember one day I reached out to 00:16:01.850 --> 00:16:04.129 Rose and we had like an online lecture and I 00:16:04.129 --> 00:16:06.730 was in the mood to go to uni and I was like hey 00:16:06.730 --> 00:16:09.370 you on campus let's go and do this lecture together 00:16:09.370 --> 00:16:10.850 and she was like yeah sure blah blah blah and 00:16:10.850 --> 00:16:12.889 we sat down together and I was like okay how 00:16:12.889 --> 00:16:15.529 am I gonna get this conversation out of just 00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:18.460 being surface level? And I was like, so are you 00:16:18.460 --> 00:16:21.700 seeing anyone? She's like, what have you been 00:16:21.700 --> 00:16:23.480 up to on the weekend? Are you seeing anyone? 00:16:23.740 --> 00:16:25.600 Yeah. And she, oh, no, sorry. I didn't say are 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:26.899 you seeing anyone? I said, so what are you doing 00:16:26.899 --> 00:16:29.159 on the weekend? And you were like, well, I went 00:16:29.159 --> 00:16:32.539 on a date and I was like, oh, I went on a date 00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:36.899 too. And that is how we met. It's literally how 00:16:36.899 --> 00:16:39.629 we met. And then we ended up being in relationships 00:16:39.629 --> 00:16:42.070 with these people. I'm still with this person. 00:16:42.070 --> 00:16:43.970 I'm no longer with that person. Rose is no longer 00:16:43.970 --> 00:16:46.309 with this person. But yes, fun while it lasted. 00:16:46.570 --> 00:16:48.929 But we're both very happy. We're very, very happy. 00:16:49.049 --> 00:16:52.909 I think I'm honestly like the happiest I've been 00:16:52.909 --> 00:16:55.870 in a very long time and I'm very proud to say 00:16:55.870 --> 00:17:00.570 that because it has taken me a while to get to 00:17:00.570 --> 00:17:03.769 this point. Which we will get into we're gonna 00:17:03.769 --> 00:17:06.150 have a whole episode on happiness and breakups 00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:10.470 and relationships and etc, but it's It's wild 00:17:10.470 --> 00:17:14.309 to think that each each interaction each person 00:17:14.309 --> 00:17:18.470 Leads you to something whether it's Not being 00:17:18.470 --> 00:17:20.430 in contact with them. It'll lead you to that 00:17:20.430 --> 00:17:22.829 or it will lead you to a genuine friendship and 00:17:22.829 --> 00:17:25.789 a connection And I'm just really grateful that 00:17:25.789 --> 00:17:28.329 that I've had that opportunity and looking back 00:17:28.329 --> 00:17:31.859 like what I would say to my high school self, 00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:36.059 I would literally be like, it's okay. It's okay. 00:17:36.119 --> 00:17:38.960 You will find your people. High school isn't 00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:40.980 the be all and end all. Even university isn't 00:17:40.980 --> 00:17:43.359 the be all and end all. We don't keep in contact 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.400 with a single person from university other than 00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.380 ourselves. True story. True story. Like on a 00:17:48.380 --> 00:17:50.519 deep level. Yeah. And when I say university, 00:17:50.619 --> 00:17:54.099 I'm talking my media degree from my drama school. 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:56.680 All those guys are still my absolute best friends 00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:59.460 and I'm so grateful to have them in my life. 00:17:59.940 --> 00:18:05.859 But Finding your people is a struggle, but it'll 00:18:05.859 --> 00:18:08.220 happen when it happens and your people aren't 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:10.339 always the first people that you're friends with 00:18:10.339 --> 00:18:12.880 from high school or university. Sometimes you'll 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:14.839 find them way down the track. I have friends 00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:18.349 in my life who are... literally in their 30s, 00:18:18.529 --> 00:18:20.730 who are literally in their late 20s. I think 00:18:20.730 --> 00:18:22.569 that's something I had to navigate actually when 00:18:22.569 --> 00:18:24.130 I moved back to Australia, because I have a lot 00:18:24.130 --> 00:18:27.210 of friends that are older now. Yeah. But I was 00:18:27.210 --> 00:18:28.869 so like, obviously, because I left high school 00:18:28.869 --> 00:18:30.809 and all my friends were only the people in my 00:18:30.809 --> 00:18:33.809 year. And I was like, I don't know, like it's 00:18:33.809 --> 00:18:37.170 like. it's strange yeah but it's so refreshing 00:18:37.170 --> 00:18:38.829 to have people that are older because you learn 00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:41.089 so much from them and that's what i'm saying 00:18:41.089 --> 00:18:44.549 don't be afraid to expand your horizons when 00:18:44.549 --> 00:18:48.569 it comes to meeting people go out do different 00:18:48.569 --> 00:18:51.410 hobbies you know go to an art class go to an 00:18:51.410 --> 00:18:52.809 exercise class the amount of people you meet 00:18:52.809 --> 00:18:55.589 at the gym holy heck it's even just mutual friends 00:18:55.589 --> 00:18:58.289 mutual friends go to events i never understood 00:18:58.289 --> 00:18:59.910 that by the way can i just say now that we're 00:18:59.910 --> 00:19:03.400 on the topic of people being weird about bringing 00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:05.839 their friends around other friends. If you're 00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:08.339 scared to bring your close friend around someone 00:19:08.339 --> 00:19:10.640 else because you think that they're gonna turn 00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.299 on you and they're just gonna be besties and 00:19:12.299 --> 00:19:14.559 leave you out of it, that's an issue. Well then 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:15.819 you gotta reassess your friendship. We think 00:19:15.819 --> 00:19:17.940 having them in your life. Yeah, yeah. Because 00:19:17.940 --> 00:19:20.119 like that would never be the case for you for 00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:22.960 example. No, I'm like so proud to call you my 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.660 friend and I think that... is what it takes when 00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:28.059 you actually feel like you have a real friendship 00:19:28.059 --> 00:19:29.819 with someone you're like I'm proud to call that 00:19:29.819 --> 00:19:32.519 person my friend I talk about you to my friends 00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:35.420 all the time and how awesome you are and for 00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:37.779 my friends that don't know you they know who 00:19:37.779 --> 00:19:42.009 you are through me yeah and it's like I've always, 00:19:42.170 --> 00:19:45.369 I have always been a bit weird about mixing certain 00:19:45.369 --> 00:19:47.349 friend groups and things like that. I wouldn't 00:19:47.349 --> 00:19:49.950 say I necessarily have a friend group. But knowing 00:19:49.950 --> 00:19:53.150 you, it comes from a place of you don't want 00:19:53.150 --> 00:19:55.890 it to be awkward rather than the jealousy thing. 00:19:56.309 --> 00:19:58.750 Oh yeah, yeah. That's what I'm talking about 00:19:58.750 --> 00:20:01.029 from a jealousy standpoint. Right. It's like, 00:20:01.069 --> 00:20:03.650 oh, let's not make them... to hang out because 00:20:03.650 --> 00:20:05.789 if, what if they hang out and leave me out, which 00:20:05.789 --> 00:20:07.450 happens, don't get me wrong. But they're not 00:20:07.450 --> 00:20:09.670 a good friend. And if you have to think about 00:20:09.670 --> 00:20:12.630 that, that's an issue. Exactly. And it's okay 00:20:12.630 --> 00:20:17.109 to like, it's okay to come to a conclusion and 00:20:17.109 --> 00:20:19.549 be like, I don't know if I want to have this 00:20:19.549 --> 00:20:21.150 person in my life. I don't know if I want to 00:20:21.150 --> 00:20:23.690 be friends with them and vocalizing that, because 00:20:23.690 --> 00:20:25.369 there are certain people in my life that I wish 00:20:25.369 --> 00:20:28.690 I had kind of not booted out earlier, but like 00:20:28.690 --> 00:20:32.509 been like, It's almost like a wasting of time 00:20:32.509 --> 00:20:34.569 thing. I'm like, I don't want to waste anyone's 00:20:34.569 --> 00:20:37.210 time nor do I want you to waste mine and make 00:20:37.210 --> 00:20:40.309 my life just feel like, like I shouldn't feel 00:20:40.309 --> 00:20:42.930 like a weight is lifted off my shoulders by stopping 00:20:42.930 --> 00:20:45.069 a friendship with someone because that's when 00:20:45.069 --> 00:20:48.509 you know it's not quite right. And when you feel 00:20:48.509 --> 00:20:51.430 pressure or a certain expectation or, you know, 00:20:51.430 --> 00:20:53.849 there's always something that you feel like you're 00:20:53.849 --> 00:20:57.250 doing wrong in the friendship. It's okay to outgrow 00:20:57.250 --> 00:21:00.349 people. It's okay to say, you know what? I don't 00:21:00.349 --> 00:21:03.089 think this is right for me. We're on two different 00:21:03.089 --> 00:21:04.569 wavelengths at the moment. And maybe we'll reconnect 00:21:04.569 --> 00:21:06.650 when the time is right. It's almost like a relationship. 00:21:06.930 --> 00:21:09.150 It's like, we'll reconnect when the time is right. 00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.150 Breakups can sometimes be harder. You see, yeah, 00:21:12.410 --> 00:21:15.130 I have heard that. I have heard that. I have 00:21:15.130 --> 00:21:17.190 heard that, which is interesting because I'd 00:21:17.190 --> 00:21:20.609 say my relationship heartbreak was a lot harder 00:21:20.609 --> 00:21:25.420 than my friendship. But like, imagine. Like losing 00:21:25.420 --> 00:21:28.519 your best friend because of something that's 00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:32.579 out of your control or just like sabotage or 00:21:32.579 --> 00:21:38.240 jealousy or issues. It's not good. Anyways, let's 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:42.500 talk about, this just came to me, but how to 00:21:42.500 --> 00:21:46.359 avoid feeling drained in a friendship and what 00:21:46.359 --> 00:21:51.539 that looks like. Because we've had conversations 00:21:51.539 --> 00:21:54.109 like this before where we felt like You know, 00:21:54.490 --> 00:21:57.609 you're just saying yes to be a good person to, 00:21:57.609 --> 00:21:59.890 you know, going out with these people, you know, 00:22:00.049 --> 00:22:02.369 hanging around with them. It goes into people 00:22:02.369 --> 00:22:05.970 pleasing. I think in a lot of friendships, people 00:22:05.970 --> 00:22:08.829 pleasing is a big thing. And the minute and I've 00:22:08.829 --> 00:22:11.029 kind of had to tell myself the minute I find 00:22:11.029 --> 00:22:14.369 myself people pleasing in a friendship, I need 00:22:14.369 --> 00:22:17.190 to take a step back because it just goes into 00:22:17.190 --> 00:22:21.099 the realm of. toxic friendship just and maybe 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:23.079 sometimes you need to stop and think to yourself 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.279 am i doing this because i'm a good person or 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:28.200 am i doing it because i would do it for them 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:30.579 and i'd hope that they do the same for me like 00:22:30.579 --> 00:22:32.660 that's too am i doing it because i want to please 00:22:32.660 --> 00:22:34.900 them and i want them to like me a lot of friendships 00:22:34.900 --> 00:22:37.660 come from i want you to like me because you either 00:22:37.660 --> 00:22:40.420 put that person on a pedestal or you think they're 00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:42.759 cool or whatever i've definitely experienced 00:22:42.759 --> 00:22:44.180 that i've met people that i'm like oh my god 00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:46.970 you're so cool kind of subconsciously put them 00:22:46.970 --> 00:22:49.349 on a pedestal and then feel like the friendship 00:22:49.349 --> 00:22:51.910 is a one -way street or the relationship is a 00:22:51.910 --> 00:22:54.509 one -way street where I'm the person making the 00:22:54.509 --> 00:22:56.230 effort and I'm the person trying to make this 00:22:56.230 --> 00:22:58.769 work and it's not entirely reciprocated that's 00:22:58.769 --> 00:23:01.049 because I'm trying to people please them to liking 00:23:01.049 --> 00:23:03.509 me yeah that's step one of knowing you're feeling 00:23:03.509 --> 00:23:07.430 drained for sure yeah if you're just yeah exactly 00:23:07.430 --> 00:23:10.450 if you're just saying it to please them well 00:23:10.450 --> 00:23:13.940 yeah that's you're gonna be unhappy in your friendship 00:23:13.940 --> 00:23:16.400 just cut them off yeah cut them off easier said 00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:18.700 than done it is definitely easier said than done 00:23:18.700 --> 00:23:21.259 but you'll feel a lot happier in the end so take 00:23:21.259 --> 00:23:25.119 the step yeah take the step um yeah and let's 00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:28.019 expand a little bit on jealousy and like sabotage 00:23:28.019 --> 00:23:31.900 and all of that as well shit feeling oh terrible 00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:34.440 it's really bad being sabotaged by somebody or 00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:38.180 betrayed by somebody that you've built a friendship 00:23:38.180 --> 00:23:41.490 with is actually a really really heart -breaking 00:23:41.490 --> 00:23:45.829 feeling felt that i feel you i don't understand 00:23:45.829 --> 00:23:49.109 how people have the capacity to do that to someone 00:23:49.109 --> 00:23:51.410 who's genuinely a best friend to them like i'm 00:23:51.410 --> 00:23:53.869 not even just saying this in like a pick me way 00:23:53.869 --> 00:23:57.369 i'm saying it in like a i could never comprehend 00:23:57.369 --> 00:23:59.009 like the amount of stories i've heard i'm gonna 00:23:59.009 --> 00:24:00.829 call some people out here but the amount of stories 00:24:00.829 --> 00:24:04.849 i've heard of people like dating their friends 00:24:04.849 --> 00:24:08.609 ex -boyfriends and like going out and if you 00:24:08.619 --> 00:24:13.059 Like you couldn't catch me banned. Are you kidding 00:24:13.059 --> 00:24:16.319 me? And like it's, it happens a lot. Like my 00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:19.460 brother was in situations like this and I'm like, 00:24:20.099 --> 00:24:22.759 no, it's become a normal thing. That sort of 00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:26.460 stuff where it's like, like people just don't 00:24:26.460 --> 00:24:28.940 care about each other anymore. And they're willing 00:24:28.940 --> 00:24:31.720 to sabotage a friendship for a chick or a guy 00:24:31.720 --> 00:24:35.119 or, you know, to get to get laid or like, it's 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:37.480 really unfortunate. It's really unfortunate because 00:24:37.480 --> 00:24:40.259 I feel like back in the day, I mean, I'm talking 00:24:40.259 --> 00:24:43.119 like our parents era where that sort of stuff 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.480 was not normalised. Look, I think social media 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:49.339 and all of that has definitely changed the dynamics 00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:52.940 of people. And it's scary. Is it only going to 00:24:52.940 --> 00:24:54.960 get worse? Like is cheating going to become a 00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:57.480 normal thing? Is sabotage going to become a normal 00:24:57.480 --> 00:24:59.299 thing? Is lying going to become a normal thing? 00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.900 Dishonesty? Like it's really scary. And I'm like, 00:25:03.019 --> 00:25:05.299 no, like I've just got to a place where I've 00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:08.240 made some meaningful connections and it's taken 00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:10.880 me years and years and years to finally be like, 00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:13.359 I'm so happy with the people in my life. Like 00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:16.410 I genuinely am. And I'd want to preface, if you're 00:25:16.410 --> 00:25:18.190 not happy with the people in your life right 00:25:18.190 --> 00:25:21.190 now, whoever's listening, it's okay. You're not 00:25:21.190 --> 00:25:24.990 alone. You will meet, you will meet people. And 00:25:24.990 --> 00:25:26.930 some people, some people feel like they don't 00:25:26.930 --> 00:25:29.430 have friends or people in their life that they 00:25:29.430 --> 00:25:31.710 can trust or be supported by. I also know a lot 00:25:31.710 --> 00:25:35.150 of people that have lots of friends, but no one 00:25:35.150 --> 00:25:38.380 that they can fully... rely on yeah like they 00:25:38.380 --> 00:25:40.299 know a lot of people like it's a quantity and 00:25:40.299 --> 00:25:43.539 a lot of people like it exactly i feel like i've 00:25:43.539 --> 00:25:46.720 always been i think your quantity and quality 00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:48.880 just because you're more out there i feel like 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:52.759 i've become a quality person like i don't have 00:25:52.759 --> 00:25:55.380 the biggest number of friends i'm not the most 00:25:55.380 --> 00:25:59.430 known person out there but I'm so, so, so happy 00:25:59.430 --> 00:26:01.769 with the people that I have around me now that 00:26:01.769 --> 00:26:03.329 I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't care 00:26:03.329 --> 00:26:05.470 if it's three people. Oh, I don't care if it's 00:26:05.470 --> 00:26:08.750 one person. One person in your life can make 00:26:08.750 --> 00:26:11.549 the biggest difference. I would rather have one 00:26:11.549 --> 00:26:17.150 best friend, a genuine best friend, than 40. 00:26:17.650 --> 00:26:20.549 Yeah. Close number. Exactly. But it's the truth. 00:26:20.769 --> 00:26:24.490 It's the truth. What about, sorry, before we 00:26:24.490 --> 00:26:26.269 move on, what about for the people that feel 00:26:26.269 --> 00:26:29.059 like they don't? have a lot of friends or they 00:26:29.059 --> 00:26:32.339 feel lonely or stuck or like they don't they 00:26:32.339 --> 00:26:34.559 haven't built their circle yet. What do we want 00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:37.960 to Okay, I think I was gonna bring this up in 00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:39.900 the next point I was talking about but I was 00:26:39.900 --> 00:26:43.819 actually going to start off by saying like, how 00:26:43.819 --> 00:26:48.200 do we go about navigating friendships where you 00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:50.900 feel like you can't be your full self around 00:26:50.900 --> 00:26:53.079 them. Like you like these people, you hang out 00:26:53.079 --> 00:26:54.680 with them but you can't be your full self. I 00:26:54.680 --> 00:26:56.960 think that's my response to what you just asked. 00:26:57.400 --> 00:26:59.819 you have to figure out what what what's the issue 00:26:59.819 --> 00:27:02.279 to begin with like is it because you're a homebody 00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:05.240 is it because you're you feel like you've got 00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:07.700 a completely different mindset in like the people 00:27:07.700 --> 00:27:10.380 your age are you the type to want to better yourself 00:27:10.380 --> 00:27:12.539 and they're in their very much party phase and 00:27:12.539 --> 00:27:14.440 they're inviting you places but you don't feel 00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:18.339 like you want to go or things like that um i 00:27:18.339 --> 00:27:21.339 think that's my answer it's like you get yourself 00:27:21.339 --> 00:27:24.680 out there doing things that you enjoy and you 00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:28.339 will meet people in those areas that enjoy it 00:27:28.339 --> 00:27:30.920 just like you and it's okay if you know you meet 00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.839 someone and you're different like I feel like 00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:35.700 we're different we're very different as well 00:27:35.700 --> 00:27:39.980 but as long as you you're being your true genuine 00:27:39.980 --> 00:27:42.640 self you'll attract people eventually that end 00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:44.839 up sharing the same mindset as you and it will 00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:47.259 be the most comforting thing you've ever experienced 00:27:47.259 --> 00:27:49.039 and then you'll be like it was worth the wait 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:52.799 yeah it was worth Worth the shitty friendships. 00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:55.940 It was worth the bullying, although never bullying 00:27:55.940 --> 00:27:59.759 is awful. We both experienced that. Don't condone 00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:01.460 it at all. But you know what? It's made me who 00:28:01.460 --> 00:28:03.660 I am today. It's made me stronger. It's made 00:28:03.660 --> 00:28:05.900 me more resilient. It's made us appreciate the 00:28:05.900 --> 00:28:07.380 friendships we now have. Correct. All right. 00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:10.089 So I think let's move on to... the tips we can 00:28:10.089 --> 00:28:12.109 give to people who feel like they can't fully 00:28:12.109 --> 00:28:14.890 be themselves around even people that they would 00:28:14.890 --> 00:28:16.549 consider their friends. Like I feel like everyone 00:28:16.549 --> 00:28:19.170 has a couple friends here and there that they're 00:28:19.170 --> 00:28:21.589 like, oh, you know, I need to dress up a little 00:28:21.589 --> 00:28:23.730 bit extra around them or I can't, you know, say 00:28:23.730 --> 00:28:25.890 my funny joke because they don't get my humor. 00:28:25.990 --> 00:28:28.789 So let's talk about the things that people can 00:28:28.789 --> 00:28:32.349 do to stop that or take at least a step towards. 00:28:32.779 --> 00:28:34.960 being a little bit less filtered around people 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:36.539 that you shouldn't have to feel filtered around? 00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:38.400 No, no. Especially your true friends, you should 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:40.400 never have to fake being somebody that you're 00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:44.779 not. No. And I think the number one thing is 00:28:44.779 --> 00:28:47.579 to notice when you're performing, like notice 00:28:47.579 --> 00:28:50.539 when you're putting that on, because sometimes 00:28:50.539 --> 00:28:52.640 you can't really notice it or you'll feel it 00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.500 after the interaction with that person, but notice 00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:57.339 it. In the moment, be like, oh, okay, in this 00:28:57.339 --> 00:28:59.180 moment, I'm laughing at something that I don't 00:28:59.180 --> 00:29:01.859 necessarily find funny, or I'm saying something 00:29:01.859 --> 00:29:05.160 that... doesn't necessarily stay true to my values 00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:07.420 or myself as a person. I used to do that all 00:29:07.420 --> 00:29:09.299 the time. I actually used to catch myself being 00:29:09.299 --> 00:29:11.700 like, oh, I could crack such a funny joke right 00:29:11.700 --> 00:29:13.680 now, but I'm not going to in case they find me 00:29:13.680 --> 00:29:17.079 cringy, for example. I think a tip that I would 00:29:17.079 --> 00:29:19.440 give, which is what started getting me out of 00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:23.250 that mindset, is to start... acting like your 00:29:23.250 --> 00:29:25.950 friends, you know how people act really unfiltered 00:29:25.950 --> 00:29:28.730 around your family? Yeah. Like act around your 00:29:28.730 --> 00:29:30.890 friends how you would around your family. Interesting. 00:29:30.970 --> 00:29:32.890 That's what I've started thinking and it's actually 00:29:32.890 --> 00:29:34.910 really helped. It's like imagine this person 00:29:34.910 --> 00:29:37.509 is like my brother or my sister. How would I 00:29:37.509 --> 00:29:40.890 act? I wouldn't care. No. Like, you know? And 00:29:40.890 --> 00:29:43.569 if you act that way in front of your friends 00:29:43.569 --> 00:29:46.190 and they don't like it or they judge you or they 00:29:46.190 --> 00:29:47.809 think you're weird or whatever, then they're 00:29:47.809 --> 00:29:50.490 not your people. They're not your people and 00:29:50.490 --> 00:29:53.430 that goes into my next... point about letting 00:29:53.430 --> 00:29:57.029 go of being liked by everyone, people pleasing, 00:29:57.130 --> 00:29:58.849 we're gonna have a whole episode on people pleasing 00:29:58.849 --> 00:30:00.549 because I'm very passionate about that topic, 00:30:01.869 --> 00:30:05.009 but let go of being liked by everyone because 00:30:05.009 --> 00:30:07.930 not everyone's gonna like you. No and I actually 00:30:07.930 --> 00:30:10.730 find what I found at least in my personal experience 00:30:10.730 --> 00:30:13.150 that when you start acting yourself people start 00:30:13.150 --> 00:30:14.849 finding you more relatable I think it's actually 00:30:14.849 --> 00:30:17.869 a psychological thing and then they start Liking 00:30:17.869 --> 00:30:20.670 you more and then feeling like and no not liking 00:30:20.670 --> 00:30:22.069 you more in like that's not what we're trying 00:30:22.069 --> 00:30:24.569 to achieve But it's actually just funny how people 00:30:24.569 --> 00:30:26.509 get more drawn to you the more relatable and 00:30:26.509 --> 00:30:28.569 more yourself you actually are Because then they 00:30:28.569 --> 00:30:30.970 realize that people aren't robots No, and then 00:30:30.970 --> 00:30:33.710 people will once you're yourself around people 00:30:33.710 --> 00:30:37.349 they will be themselves around you They will 00:30:37.349 --> 00:30:40.230 put they will put their guard down when you put 00:30:40.230 --> 00:30:43.319 your guard down Like show up to a dinner without 00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.220 wearing makeup. No one cares. Crack that funny 00:30:46.220 --> 00:30:48.900 joke that you want to crack. No one will think 00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:51.680 about it in 10 minutes time. No. Like, it's not 00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:54.420 that serious. It's not. It's easier said than 00:30:54.420 --> 00:30:57.759 done, though, when we live in such a world of 00:30:57.759 --> 00:31:00.559 people pleasing and trying to be liked by everybody. 00:31:00.740 --> 00:31:04.180 But just let, try and let go. Let be. Let them. 00:31:04.460 --> 00:31:06.380 Mel Robbins says let them. Let them. If they 00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:08.559 don't like you, let them not like you. Too bad. 00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:11.140 So sad. Wow. I haven't heard that one in a while. 00:31:11.299 --> 00:31:15.079 No, seriously. No, really. And also, I think 00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:18.890 it's also about... owning your weird. Like own 00:31:18.890 --> 00:31:21.410 your weird if somebody doesn't like you because 00:31:21.410 --> 00:31:23.049 you're a bit weird or a bit loud you're a bit 00:31:23.049 --> 00:31:26.210 much or you feel judged by somebody own it. Well 00:31:26.210 --> 00:31:28.630 they're boring. Well they're boring. Exactly. 00:31:29.369 --> 00:31:31.410 We need more weird people in this world and when 00:31:31.410 --> 00:31:33.809 I say weird I mean like unique. We're so weird 00:31:33.809 --> 00:31:35.670 around each other. We're so weird around each 00:31:35.670 --> 00:31:38.069 other and I feel like and I haven't felt like 00:31:38.069 --> 00:31:40.940 that. with a lot of people in my life where I 00:31:40.940 --> 00:31:42.940 could literally just be my authentic self around 00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:45.839 you and not feel judged. That's the thing. That's 00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:48.099 what we want to try and achieve. It's like if 00:31:48.099 --> 00:31:50.160 people are going to judge you for being yourself 00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:52.319 and you know doing all those things that we've 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:54.980 just mentioned then they're not your people and 00:31:54.980 --> 00:31:58.500 you'll start realising it along the way and you 00:31:58.500 --> 00:32:00.480 won't want to be around them and they'll probably 00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:02.119 start you know checking comments and not want 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:04.279 to be around you and that's good. And that's 00:32:04.279 --> 00:32:07.079 good because it's filtering out who... you don't 00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:09.299 really need in your life and sometimes that might 00:32:09.299 --> 00:32:11.220 take a while sometimes you might build a friendship 00:32:11.220 --> 00:32:13.019 with someone over years and years and years and 00:32:13.019 --> 00:32:15.660 then think to yourself actually this person isn't 00:32:15.660 --> 00:32:18.500 serving me anymore and that's okay that's okay 00:32:18.500 --> 00:32:20.720 if they're not serving me anymore we grow apart 00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:23.380 you don't make me feel good i can't be my authentic 00:32:23.380 --> 00:32:26.849 self around you which also goes into my next 00:32:26.849 --> 00:32:29.589 point about creating friendships where honesty 00:32:29.589 --> 00:32:33.430 is safe and where being yourself is safe. You 00:32:33.430 --> 00:32:37.789 want to attract the people into your life that... 00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:40.779 Make you love yourself and make you love and 00:32:40.779 --> 00:32:43.180 appreciate who you are as a person. Not make 00:32:43.180 --> 00:32:45.680 you feel like your accomplishments shouldn't 00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:47.700 be said because there might be an inkling of 00:32:47.700 --> 00:32:50.339 jealousy. Not make you feel like you can't cry 00:32:50.339 --> 00:32:52.200 because they might judge you for what you're 00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:55.380 crying about. Yeah. We don't want that. No, no. 00:32:55.480 --> 00:32:58.480 It's honestly very, very draining. It's so draining 00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:00.599 and I've definitely been in friendships like 00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:02.720 that where I feel like I'm constantly having 00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:06.819 to put so much energy into not only trying to 00:33:06.819 --> 00:33:08.750 be this person that I'm not, but to maintain 00:33:08.750 --> 00:33:11.609 a friendship that's clearly not... That's one 00:33:11.609 --> 00:33:13.970 -sided? Not, exactly, that's one -sided. You 00:33:13.970 --> 00:33:16.380 want to save... putting too much of yourself 00:33:16.380 --> 00:33:18.619 into that friendship and save the resentment 00:33:18.619 --> 00:33:21.759 that can come with it along the way exactly exactly 00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:23.400 well i think we've covered everything i think 00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:26.039 we have practice that self -trust guys because 00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:28.519 honestly like you are enough you really aren't 00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:30.000 the people that make you feel like you're not 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:33.240 enough sack them right off yeah because life 00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:38.119 wisdom yes life is too short you only live once 00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:41.380 wow we're going to expand on a lot of these things 00:33:41.380 --> 00:33:43.259 i'm pretty sure in in other episodes because 00:33:43.259 --> 00:33:45.170 as you can tell this episode has been pretty 00:33:45.170 --> 00:33:48.329 long and we're very passionate about it. But 00:33:48.329 --> 00:33:50.569 yeah we hope you enjoyed. We hope you enjoyed 00:33:50.569 --> 00:33:54.869 this episode on the role of your circle. We have 00:33:54.869 --> 00:33:58.130 many more fun episodes planned for you guys and 00:33:58.130 --> 00:34:01.309 stay tuned for the next one where you find out 00:34:01.309 --> 00:34:05.529 a little bit more of who we are. So stay tuned.