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Grand Theft Galactic. Episode 4. Turning up the
Heat. Last time on Grand Theft Galactic: Our
heroes were in quite the predicament. Kessel,
Fixer, and some Husk Security Bots had gotten
the jump on them, and despite Jackson's bravado,
they were stunned into unconsciousness. Waking
in a prison, Fuzz, Jackson, and Lu were met
by a battered Kessel who explained that the team
would be performing in this season's Amazing
Space Race. If they won, they would earn their
freedom. If they refused to play, Simon Husk
would take out his frustration on their friend
Soup, who was conspicuously missing from the
confines of their cell. After making a couple
of superficial attempts to escape, the team was
knocked out once more, this time waking in what
seemed to be an apartment complex. With cameras
recording them from every angle, our heroes discussed
their strategy for entering the game, until a
familiar figure, Dr. Nuo Martin of Galactic News
Network, appeared through a hidden door in the
wall. It seemed that Martin would be their handler
and announcer for the race, and he wasn't exactly
there of his own volition either. After appearing
to use a small EMP device to knock out some of
the electronics in the room, Martin interviewed
the group and then explained that their first
trial would take place on Hastinere, a turbulent,
extremely volcanically active planet in an inhospitable
solar system. The team, now dubbed the Privateers,
would be allowed to request some supplies for
their task, but nothing was guaranteed. They
were going in blind, especially after the black
bags were placed over their heads. But after
the bags were removed, they may have wished they
could put them back on, because what they saw
ahead was a planet covered in lava and a precarious
trail of floating rocks. leading to a flag somewhere
off in the distance. If they didn't reach the
flag before at least one of the other teams in
the competition, they would be left behind on
this planet for the remainder of their likely
very short lives. Have we seen the last of our
heroes? Or can they survive the gauntlet? There's
only one way to find out. And blast off. So we're
right into the race. Like I said, you've got
about 1,000 feet to traverse. You're at the
edge of a cliff with a stark, I'd say about 100
-foot drop-off down to a floating semi-solid
pathway of rock. Wait, we've got to jump down?
How far down? About 100 feet. Oh, man. Totally
missed that part of it. We've got 60 feet of
rope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally missed that part
of it. That's not good. No. I don't know if any
of you have some cat burglar experience. I think
there might be some Tricks of the Trade to help
out with that. Thank God we brought the twist
ties. So you got the 60 feet of rope. I'd say
you get another six inches. Unfortunately, the
Trick of the Trade that involves falling will
only reduce the next fall of 30 feet or less.
Okay, so we got to go though, right? I mean,
so it's like a race has started. Speaking of
which, thank you, Daniel. Let's all go ahead
and roll initiative. And I'm going to be rolling
some things behind the screen for these other
teams. Every other team rolled higher. Nope.
Jackson, because he has a nigh on fourth wall
breaking ability to understand story structure.
knows that we cannot be behind before we even
start. And that's just not the way it works.
So I'm going to use my level three Rewind the
Tape ability. After initiative is rolled, you
may move a number of creatures equal to your
proficiency bonus to any spot in the initiative
order, regardless of their rolls. Oh, look, we
all rolled 20s. Oh, my gosh. Wow. All right.
We're going first. Because we're the heroes.
Damn it. Oh, Jackson, I'm sure I won't regret
giving you reality warping abilities at all.
Yes. Okay. So you all are first up. So which
means we'll see how this progresses. But you
all have the initiative, for lack of a better
word, in this race. So with that in mind, yeah,
your first obstacle is this drop down. And we've
looked around and we can't see the other teams.
Correct. Even from the edge. Okay. You can fly
down. I can fly down. Yeah, I'll be okay. But
that leaves the two of us. Can you teleport down?
I can teleport most of the way down, but not
all the way. Gravity will bring you most of the
way down, and then you can teleport from halfway.
Okay, I can fall 10 feet and teleport the rest.
All right, but Jackson. I might have a plan.
Okay. Does it have a code name? It does not,
but it might have to get one. How far can you
push something with that little tractor beam
of yours? Oh, that's a great idea. With my 20
feet. Okay. So that's pushing something that
is at rest 20 feet. Pushing or pull it. Fantastic.
So if something was coming down, you could slow.
I could. Oh, the other way. I think we may have
something. Okay. Alrighty. So it sounds like
we have a plan. Who's going up first? All right.
We'll begin quickly tying the ropes together
to make one 60 foot rope. Yeah. Easily done.
Not even a skill check required on that. And
did they give us a hammer with the pitons? We
didn't get pitons. We didn't get pitons? No.
Is there anything to tie this around? So, I mean,
there's flags similar to what Lou thinks she
sees down there that seem to be embedded in the
rock up here to designate this as the starting
zone. Give them a shake. They feel sturdy enough.
You hope. to support your weight? It'll be great.
All right. So we got a rope tied to a flagpole.
I love this plan. Fuzz, what are you doing? You
just hopping down? I'm going to start to fly
down. Okay. Question. Yes. Can I start to fall
down and then fly? Like so I can fall faster?
Yeah. I'll say either give me either an acrobatics
or athletics check just to make sure your timing's
there to make sure you don't accelerate too fast.
So we'll say a DC seven. Oh, that's a 19 on the
die for a 22. Easily done. So during your turn,
You let gravity do most of the work for you,
and I'd say, like, once you're above about 30
feet above ground, you start activating your
little toy jetpack. Sorry, not little toy. Big
boy. My big boy Pegasus wing. Yeah, exactly.
Jetpack. And it lets you putt, putt, putt, and
slow your descent until you land safely all in
one turn. Yeah, and there's no glitter. There's
no glitter that comes out of the wings at all.
Yeah, because you've run out. Yeah, I've run
out, and it's very manly. Says the rainbow colored
unicorn. All right. Lu or Jackson, who's going
up next here? All right. Okay. Jackson kind of
cracks his neck. Hello. I am Soup. Yes. Hello,
Lu. Okay. Right. And I'm going to use my Method
Actor ability. to mimic someone I have observed
for a minute or more. I'd say you've known Soup for that long. I've
seen Soup for a long time. I'm going to embody
the role using a bonus action. I'm going to take
on the equivalent of their ability scores as
I get into character. It's like, all right, this
would not bother Soup. Soup would be super confident
doing this. I've got this. All right. Goodbye,
Lu. I am Soup. And will start scurrying down
the rope. All righty. Go ahead and give me either
an acrobatics or athletics check as you scurry
down this precarious drop. It's going to be great.
We'll call this a DC. You're climbing that. 31.
Oh, my God. That's my other expertise is acrobatics.
I was going to say the DC at 30. No. I love it.
Easily done. So you get. We'll say it only took
like a foot of rope to like wrap it around securely
at the top there. So you're basically 59 out
of the 100 foot drop. Fantastic. Fully extend.
So I'm dangling another like seven feet down
and I'm ready. Great. I am going to drop. Okay.
Then as I am dropping, Jackson is going to activate
landing roll. Uh, we're looking for a DC five
dex save to reduce the fall damage of the next
fall of 30 feet or less by half. Okay, great.
I got 14 on the, yes, he's, he's good. Okay,
excellent. So this will be reduced by half and
I believe you're getting slowed on. Yeah. So
you see the heart on my chest to glow and it shoots
out in this bright pink light and a giant pink
heart comes out and I use my mini tractor beam
to pull you slowly 20 feet in my direction. Push,
push away. You're being an opposing force. I'm
pulling you back. My secret plant was Daniel.
I'm trying to kill you all. Oh, okay. Kessel
was a red herring. Son of a bitch. All right.
We'll say with all that combined, you're already
like 60 feet down. What's the range on your track?
20 feet. 20 feet. Okay. So yeah, we'll say you
activate that once he gets within 20 feet of
you. We're essentially going to say you fell
20 feet total. Great. So you'll reduce that by
half. So let me roll here your damage real quick.
So that's only four reduced in half to two. Great.
And then Lu, he made it down without a hitch.
So I'm going to roll for Catch me if you Can.
Okay. And then Lu is going to rush over and
untie the rope from the flagpole and then run
over to the edge of the cliff, jump off, count
to two or three, and then teleport the rest of
the way down. Graceful is an understatement on
this swan dive with the rope and then the teleport
down and easily, you all made it down in six
seconds. Fantastic. Great start to the race.
Good. Ladies and gentlemen, already a fantastic
display of athleticism from the Privateers. Will
they keep up this pace? I can't wait to see.
Let's go on to the next round. So now at this
ground level, you see in front of you, it's free
floating. piles of solidified volcanic rock.
Distances can vary. It's like between a five
feet little hop to 40 feet between the next rock.
It varies as you go. And right now you're on
the outside of this giant lava waterfall that
quickly closes into a sort of trench, as if you're
all about to do some sort of trench run. What?
Oh, boy. All right. So I'm going to, I think...
I Read the Manual, and I think I'm going to try
and give us all at least proficiency in athletics
checks. Okay. Yeah, go right ahead. Yeah, that's
a 29. So that works. Succeeds. Succeeds. So everyone,
we all gain proficiency in athletics. Okay. Amazing.
So that's going to help out a lot here. So before
you all take your full turns, is there anything
you'd like to do kind of at the end of the round,
kind of like as a free action, any sort of perception
checks, anything you all want to talk about?
Make any sort of strategy calls? I'd love to
look around and see if I can see any of the other
teams coming down. Go ahead and roll me a perception
check. 15. At this lower level, it's hard just
given the massive structure in front of you.
That's really drawing your focus. You are seeing,
though, there's a big break of just lava with
no rocks on either side of you to your left and
right. And it's not for quite a few feet. If
you had to estimate on a pointed circle. very
far on opposite sides where you start to see
more rocks. You don't see any individuals yet,
just given the distance, but you do see more
rocks down there. You'd be safe to assume that
might be their path that they're meant to go
down. With that, we go on to the next round.
What's the plan? In front of us? Yes. The rocks,
how far are they? Next, closest steps, pretty
close. They are starting to float down. It almost
seems like there's a natural flow of this lava
going into the trench. So the rocks in front
of you, right now they're about five. You could
see there's further ones if you wanted to skip
a few and do a much longer jump, about 15 feet
away. Okay. So you can kind of hop between them
and then pass that. Right now, everything after
that is about a 10-foot gap between each rock.
So it's like 5, 15, 25, et cetera, et cetera.
I'm going to climb up on Jackson. Yeah you're
a small creature easily done- actually you're
tiny yeah so he will not impede you at all. I'm
gonna try to activate Catch me if you Can. Okay.
I failed. Oh man. Okay do you want to re-roll
that with a 50/50 chance? No. Okay. No that's okay
and I'm gonna try to jump to as many individual
short hops. I'm not gonna get cocky and try to
do a long jump and skip any steps. Then
just what is your strength score now that you're
embodying the role again? Uh 20. 20 because i am
as strong as Soup. Gotcha. So yeah you have 20
feet versus a jump up to that 60 feet so you
make three solid leaps uh go ahead and roll me
an athletics check. All right that's 12. 12. Yeah
I'd say you're cutting it close. You start to
feel some of the rocks shift underneath you.
You land a little bit harder than you would have
liked. You're not used to this new strength,
and you feel one of the rocks start to tip, but
it barely balances in time. That got close to
you taking a dip. We're good. We're fine out
here. All right. How are you? I'm great. So,
Lu, they manage together as the Yoda on Luke's
back combo goes 60 feet. So Lu's going to teleport
to the rock that they're on. Okay. As long as
that looks like it's stable enough. You still
then have an action as well, because you didn't
have to dash for that. Is there anything specific?
Yeah, I think I would like to tie a rope onto
Jackson's waist. Okay. The rope. In case I've
got to try to pull you out of, you know, yeah,
exactly. Okay. Yeah, what we'll say is, should
he fail one of these upcoming athletic checks,
you will be able to do one at the end at a higher DC
to try to save him from his own mistake. Okay,
great. Backup plan. So you have a 60-foot rope
tied to me. Yeah. And she'll give it a good yank
if she needs to. Anything else for that round?
Can I give the help action? If you can describe
to me how you would do it, it's a little bit
rough. I am looking ahead and trying to tell
Jackson exactly the safest place to land. Okay.
I see that. Yeah. What I'll say is going forward now.
go ahead and give me either perception or investigation
so you can kind of nail down the pattern of these
rocks or spot out which ones seem more stable.
We'll call this a DC 13. Nope. 21. 21. All right.
Yeah. So going forward, you can be giving him
the help action. So that goes well. One thing
you all are noticing as Nuo comes back on. All righty,
folks. And the initial dash is off. That was
a close call from the man in the mask. What will
happen next? You notice the play-by-play. You're
only getting is of yourselves, and you don't
hear any other announcer. Just something you
note. It makes you wonder if every team has
their own assigned announcer, and they can only
hear about themselves. That sounds right. Yeah.
That sounds irritating. Third round here. Dash
equivalent and do another jump or two. to see
how far we can get. Gotcha. As of right now,
the rocks are still maintaining that distance.
What you are starting to realize is as you're
getting further and further, I will say, Fuzz,
you noticed this because you made that roll,
the rocks themselves seem to be getting smaller
and smaller as things go on. Oh, that's not good.
They're starting to pull ahead of the rest of
the pack. I will relay this information to you
both. How heavy of a thing can you pull with
that tractor beam? There are no weight requirements.
No, he manipulates gravity. Yep. When we're close
enough, we might need to pull one back towards
us to help out. Oh, perfect. Kind of close the
gap because even as soup, I cannot jump all that
far. Okay. Noted. All righty. We're going with
the same plan where Jackson's going to go first
and Lu will follow. Okay. Soup, Soup, and away.
Another movement action dash. Yeah. All right.
Go ahead. Athletics track. With advantage. Yes.
Still right now, we're looking at the DC 12.
Great, 22. Okay, easily done. Now you're feeling
it. You get an idea of how stable these rocks
are, where to step. And with the help from Fuzz,
easily done. Lu, are you just going to... So
the rock that they're on, is it still large enough
for me to be on with them? Yes, I'd say it's
going to... So right now, you're about 120 feet
in. I'd say once you get to like a third of the
way. So once you're about 300 or so feet in.
Things are going to get smaller where it might
only be one person per rock if you want to keep
it stable. Which also means it's going to be
much harder because I can't get any kind of a
running start. If there are two people, that
gives us about 10 feet. That gives me a running
start. And if I don't have a running start, my
jump goes way down. Way down. Okie doke. That's
what we can do. Yep. All right. Lu, are you
just... Just right to the same rock. Easily done.
With that, before the end of that round, can
each of you give me a perception check? Natural
one. Okay. Call it a DC 15 to avoid the surprise.
That's a six. 14. Flashback. Okay. Okay. Lu,
you were able to spot this out. So as you all
make this second jump and pass the 100-foot
mark, you start to hear some kind of electronic
buzzing, some kind of whirring sounds. Fuzz,
is there something going on with your mechanical?
Insides? What? I'm sorry. I was trying to focus
ahead of us. What are you talking about? There's
a mechanical whirring going on. Oh. Do I hear
it now? Pointing it out, it's faint. But, yeah,
you'd recognize the sound of servos turning.
Something's coming. What? I don't know. Oh. That's
it for now. All right. Good talk. Next round.
I'm going to just do another couple of leaps
and try to get as far as we can. Athletics at
advantage. Still same difficulty. DC 12. 25.
Okay. I was going to say. Oh, no. I was like,
campaign over. Done. Easily done. All right.
No issues there. Again, with the advantage from
Fuzz. Lu, you can teleport straight ahead. With
this, Lu giving everybody the warning. All of
you make dexterity saving throws at advantage.
Looking for a DC 14. Twisted 20. Saved. 24. Saved.
22. All saved. The most apt description I could
give is a mechanical submarine coming up in reverse
with a propeller blade carrying it out of the
lava and over you free willy style as it sprays
lava across the different rocks and you are all
able to dodge in time so none of the lava actually
makes contact with you. It dips back into the
lava, sending a small wave throughout it, and
you are all able to maintain your footing. That
seems to be the mechanical whirring you heard.
And folks, they're introduced to the first hazard.
It's the lava fish. Oh, what an exciting thrill.
It's headed for the other competitors. Let's
see if they're as ready as the Privateers. I
feel like if he knew about the lava fish, he
could have warned us somehow. Yeah, right? This
guy. Lava fish. Seriously. Somewhere in the back
of your mind echoes, I don't write my scripts.
I just read the teleprompter. All right. So you're
now at about 180 feet. You got about two more
rounds before you get to the point where you're
going to be limited on space and the running
jump option is going to be going away. I think
we ride those two rounds and then figure it out
when we get there. Yeah. Okay. Evan, go ahead
and roll me this twice in a row. So two at advantage,
please. 24. Great. Succeeds. That's a 26.
Both succeeds. Okay. So we're just going to go
ahead and say you get 120 feet. You're now at
the 300 foot mark. Lu can teleport each of those
rounds. Anything in between those, either of
you would like to attempt? Yes. I'm going to
try to Grit my Teeth. And I believe so. What
is it at the... I gain resistance to the next
source of damage I would take. Okay. Excellent.
Hopefully you won't need that, but we shall see.
All right. So things are a little more difficult
here. Now things each... A stone is about 15
feet apart from each other. And like I said,
you're getting limited now. You're one rock apart.
I will say that's for spacing reasons. You are
just able to get enough to qualify for a running
jump. Okay. But at the next check mark, as Fuzz
is relaying to you, you're going to lose that
option. Okay. All right. Cool. But that also
means now there will be a bit of a gap between
you and Lu if you are running simultaneously
just to stand on separate rocks. All right. DC
is going to go up now to 15 on these athletic
checks. 31. Yeah, baby. All right. Just fine.
Another 60 feet. We're at 360. This time, when
Nuo Martin comes up. Well, folks, the Privateers
are easily in first place. That lava fish definitely
took its toll on the other teams. Just audience
aware. I'm rolling Evan's dice, who's notoriously
bad at rolling. I didn't roll above a six on
their saving throw. Good. All right. All right.
Yes, those are good dice. With that, you get
a little boost of confidence that even if it
takes you a bit more time, you have a comfortable
lead right now going into the more difficult
stretch. Anybody else want to pull some Tricks
of the Trade before we go on to the next round?
What's the strength of that tow line? Yeah, I
can attach to things 100 feet long. I'm wondering
if we could maybe reel ourselves to the next
boulder or get the boulder closer to us. Yeah.
You reel it. I'll hold on to you and I'll sort
of surf the lava. Totally. Yeah. This feels insane.
What if I go further ahead with the rope? And
if I go to that one. Oh, I can't because I can't
teleport twice. Shit. Or you take the other end
of my grapple arm, and then you teleport super
far away, and we go to more than one. Then just
drag you through the lava? No, I was thinking,
but maybe I do take the other end of your grappling
hook. Does it feel like if I took the rope or
the grappling hook, I can take the grappling
hook 90 feet, right? If I took that all the way
out, does it feel like I could pull them because
the current is going that way? Do I feel like
I could pull them on their rock towards me? Yes.
What they would need to do is like dig their
feet in. So that way their weight is influencing
the rock beneath them. So I just say maybe it's
like a strength check on their end to leverage
themself enough. Yeah, so it'd be a combined strength
check, we'll call it. Guys, we're really strong,
so this seems like a good idea. I have a plus
zero to my strength. I am strong. And also right
now I have a plus five to my strength because
I have expertise in it. Well, that's athletics.
Oh, man. What I will say is we'll call it joint
athletics check. Okay, thank you. We'll give
you the extra skill bump then. Yeah, so you see
my right hand pop off, and I grappling hook comes
out of it, and it just keeps going. I put the
rope in the backpack, and I teleport away 90
feet or close, wherever that would be to the
next rock. I clear the smoke away from the winch
that just unwound at the speed of light. Fuzz
is much lighter. You know, Fuzz, I always wondered
where you keep all that line, Probably now is
not the time to go into that. Yeah, we can talk
about it later. It wasn't a pretty process getting
it in there. And on that oversharing note, let's
see what we can do. All right. Let's go ahead
and give me athletics checks here. So I would
say. Jackson and Fuzz, since you're together
on one side of it, either you each make separate
ones and we'll take the higher or one of you can
give the help action. Jackson has spun the backpack
around. So he has got Fuzz in the backpack and
is holding him like a baby Bjorn. Yes. Just clutching
Fuzz with one arm and clutching the line with
the other. Perfect. All right. Can I first roll
I'm an Expert to get expertise in athletics since
I am currently proficient in it? Yes, you can.
They can stack like that. Oh, I love it. That's
genius. Yes. Okay, 19 on the die. Okay. That's
great. You now have expertise in athletics. All
right, great. For you, it's just a straight roll
because you're doing this as a one-person show.
17. 17 is good. What was it again, Jackson? 27.
Wow. Oh, yeah. Easily done. You start heaving
to help out Fuzz is like also reeling it in because
now he's positioned behind. So it's adding additional
pull force to you. And you have your feet locked
onto this rock. The rock starts to lift in like
you're doing an expert job of like surfing. You're
basically doing water skiing. Ladies and gentlemen,
this is an unexpected maneuver by the Privateers.
Who could have seen this coming? They're just
surfing along the surface. By George, they're
pulling further and further into the lead. The
other teams don't stand a chance. Quite literally
pulling into the lead. Somehow, Dr. Nuo Martin,
that comes on before he cuts his mic. He appreciates
a good dad joke. I'm sorry. I oftentimes have
visceral reactions to NPCs, and I hate Dr. Nuo
Martin. Daniel hates a lot of NPCs. Anyway. All
righty. So that got you 100 feet, I believe is
the range. 100 feet. Yeah. Yeah. So that. fast
forwarded you a hundred feet. So we'll, we'll
say right now you're sitting at like four 50,
500 foot range. You're at the halfway mark. Everybody
go ahead and give me another perception or investigation
check. And please tell me which skill you're
using. 23 perception. 23 perception. 27 investigation.
We don't need to talk about that. You're embodying
Soup right now. You're all about the strength.
Okay, so with the perception, as I said, you're
starting to see that the rocks are getting smaller
and smaller. Their pace is picking up. But now
that you're much closer, half the distance to
the goal, you see that the flag was not just
standing on a rock surface like it was before.
It's planted on top of a ship. So that seems
like that's your ticket off of this and onto
the next leg of the race. Is the ship floating,
like hovering, or is it just sitting on the lava?
Similar to the rock cliff you were on, it's another
artificial rock structure in the middle. Oh,
so it's up. We've got to go up. Yeah, it's back
on the level like you were up before. It's a
little bit hard to make out from this distance,
but it doesn't look like it's a sheer cliff,
like flat stone. It's jagged and like... Climbable,
maybe? Exactly. Difficult, but doable, especially
if one was strong enough. With the 27 investigation,
one thing you're starting to notice, yes, the
current is flowing deep, like straight ahead
of you. You're starting to see what looks like
maybe inlets. It's just based on the walls. It's
harder to see. You have a feeling there might
be gaps further along in the wall, just the way
you're looking at the lava flow coming in. Okay,
I'm going to let you both know that. That looks
like maybe it's about another 100, 150 feet in.
Okay. Chompers. It's definitely Chompers. Yeah,
we got to keep going. Same deal. I will say that
trick doesn't only have to work once. I mean,
if it's not broke. Yeah, I think we just do it
again. Yeah, we're going to do it again. Okay.
We owe your arms WD40. 17 again. 17, okay. Again,
27. Wow. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Yeah,
there you go. Catapulting another 100 feet forward.
And as you are now getting closer, yeah, the
flow, it's not something like the lava naturally
flowing in. There's something churning underneath
as you're getting closer. Yeah, I just say it
means they can go faster. So we got to get there.
What can go faster? If it's churning right now,
maybe they can make the lava go faster and make
it more dangerous or put stuff in, right? Could
be anything, yeah. All right. They took the time
and expense to invent lava turbines. Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Do the
same thing again. Okay. Another athletics check.
Advantage for Jackson. 15 this time. 15. We'll
see how well Jackson does. I'd say, Jackson,
you're going to need above a 20. That's all right,
because I'm looking at a 28. Cool. Easily done.
So, interestingly enough, it's when he starts
to reel, you actually almost get pulled back
into the lava. You're able to manage your footing
and then pull back and fight the inertia and
help them surf over to your rock instead. As
you all get closer, different whirring sound.
And... you called it, kind of like a turbine,
comes up, and instead are these gigantic wheels
that are flinging lava constantly now in front
of you as it's just now raining molten rock.
Oh, man. That's not a problem for me, but I can't
drag you through that. We're going to be dodgy.
What I will say is, Lu, if you stop at any point,
Basically, once you enter this zone, every round
we're all making dexterity saving throws and
seeing how much you're getting peppered with.
How far does this lava seem to be going? Is it
like 100 feet of spitting lava? Go ahead and
roll me a perception check. Because right now
it's kind of like raining down in front of you.
25. Yeah, you can see just fine. It looks like
about 150 feet. So the next leg of the journey
is meant to... be a little spicy. So you still
can do it. What I will say is with that fast
acceleration through this lava rain, we'll say
the dexterity saving throw you made to avoid
damage will be done at disadvantage. Try this?
I'd rather only get hit once than spend a whole
lot of time in here. Yep, I agree. Because you
all figured out this bonkers strategy. Okay.
These obstacles I had in mind are a lot less
deadly. Cool. Alright. So dexterity save at disadvantage.
21. 21 for movement. Great. 24. Amazing. Yeah.
Both over 20. Easily done. All right. So you
all are through another 100 feet. Go ahead, though.
Roll me those dexterity saving throws at disadvantage.
You're looking at a DC 15. It's a nat one. Okay.
Full damage. Oh, that's a 13. There's a nat 20
looking at me, just laughing at me. And that's
a nine for Fuzz. Okay, sounds good. Pardon me while
I roll quite a bit of dice. Yeah, those were
some decent rolls. Unfortunately, the dice have
betrayed you all. That's 24 points of fire damage,
but reduced down to 12 because you all gritted
your teeth. Ow. Ladies and gentlemen, they continue
to surf the lava, but the lava meets them head
on. Pardon the pun. What pun? I didn't get that
either. Again in the back of your mind, I just
read the teleprompter. So you are looking, you're
about 650 feet in, getting close to the finish
line here. And we can keep doing this thing so
far? So far, what I will say is after the next
time you use it, the rocks are going to be so
small that I'm going to ratchet up the difficulty
on this maneuver going forward. Okay. Still might
be your best option, but it's just going to be
harder to maintain balance and not just sink
the rock when you try to dig your feet in and
add some additional weight. Okay. All right.
But this round. We've been riding the same rock.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh. But not the one I'm in. That's
the issue. I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah. We
haven't jumped. We're on the same rock. It's
more so Luu having to anchor you two down. Yeah.
It's going to become an issue fast. All right.
Yeah. Go ahead. And then I will also say, just
in case things go south, you still have the option
reactions out if you will. All right. Athletic
Lou. 24. 16. Flashback. You don't have to waste
this. As long as somebody got over a 20 and a
15. So you're both good. Okay. Yeah. 16. Got
lucky. Yeah. Again, looking a little shady. This
time it's on your end. You almost go launching
forward this time off your rock. But stabilize.
We're okay. We passed the lava rain. Sorry. I
pulled a little hard. It's okay. Over adjusted
from the last time. Okay. Now looking out to
it. You're starting to see that rock wall more
clearly. This, again, it looks like it was made
to appear like the natural formation. You're
seeing clear spots where somebody made within
reach handholds and things like that. So it is
climbable. It's just going to take time. Yeah,
I know. We can just basically do this. How fast
is the current taking us towards the rock? Right
now, we'll say it's about five, ten feet around.
Oh, okay. Well, that's terrible. Yeah, it's not.
You can't just stand there. I mean, they said
you all had a nice lead. Who knows how nice?
Yeah, well, don't trust Nuo Martin. We'll just take a
little picnic nap and everything. Yeah, nice
and easy. All right. Are we trying the trick
one more time? Yeah, I think so. Okay. So we're
going to call this then both parties need to
be above a 20. Nope. 23. Okay. Lu? Can I flashback
Lu? Yes. Because that was a 16 total. Let's
get you to a 21. Great. Succeeds. Very close.
Lu is like balancing. How many flashbacks do
you got left? I've only used two of them. I have
two more. All right. Cool. Hanging in there.
All right. So we're about 750 feet. You got like
two more attempts before you can just basically
make a nice long jump onto a solid rock platform.
You're starting to see these rocks as they're
hitting. They're just kind of. bumping up against
the solid rock, deflecting off into the sides
and going into the lava waterfalls on either
side. All right. I guess we do it again. Yeah,
we got to. Okay. I get Physically Fit. So I just
became physically fit and I'm going to have advantage.
Okay. 27. 28. Yeah, there we go, baby. All right.
Both of you exceed 25. We'll even give you a
bonus on this. say, you're going to get two rounds
of this for free. So you climb up through just
well enough, and then it's a nice and easy hop
onto the stable rock platform, similar to the
one you originally landed on. And now you're
just looking at this 100-foot climb. Well, ladies
and gentlemen, Privateers have already made it
to the final obstacle, a 100-foot climb next
to lava waterfalls. Will they rise to the occasion,
or will they fall to their doom? You're not helping,
Doctor. Yeah. If I were to try to be Physically
Fit, could I shoot my grapple hook up and try
and lift me and Jackson up? I'm a toy, but I
was built in the 90s. So I'm like really quality.
What I will say is the reason why this other
maneuver has been helping is that like it was
two. sorry, fuzz. Big people. All right. Asserting
extra force. That grapple hook is really only
meant to fight. The motor inside of you is only
meant to carry your weight. We will reattach
the rope to Jackson. Okay. So it's wrapped around
you and Jackson as a failsafe. Okay. All righty.
And we just got to start the climb with nothing
added, or are we pumping in some juice? I'm going
to throw some juice. I would like to activate
catch me if you can. Oh, it worked that time.
All right. Amazing. So you cab dash the bonus
action. You don't provoke opportunity attacks. Can I
just use the grapple for myself? Yeah. I shoot
it up. Is it 100 feet? It's 100 feet. Perfect.
See you guys later. And my arm opens up and I
just go. Bye. We'll get to you in a second. We
should climb up together. And then if you fall.
Oh, I can't take you with me. I keep thinking
I can. Technically, if we're tied together and
I fall, I'm going to take you with me. Yeah.
All right. They'll just teleport out of the rope.
It's true. All right. All right. Let's move action
dash bonus action dash. Okay. Go ahead and give
me an athletics check. What I will say is we'll
call it right now. DC 10 at the low while you're
at the low. We'll see as you get more tired,
it might go up. Failure. It means some kind of
setback. Either you fall or lose some distance
depending on how badly you fail. Succeed. You're
moving at half speed since you don't naturally
have a climbing speed. So DC 10. 13. Okay. 20.
20. Okay. Easily done. Both of you can move.
45 because I've got a 30, so I'm going 30, 30,
30, but then half. Yes. So same for me. Okay.
So you both make it. 45, just under halfway there.
And then there just seems to be one final obstacle
popping up. Now, every 10 feet, you start to
see... Saws? Yep. You made it up within six seconds.
They didn't even trigger when you got up there.
Because my thought was Lu can now teleport
the end of the rope up. We can tie it somewhere
in case Jackson falls. But that's just going
to cut the rope. It looks like they're about...
10 feet between each one. So it's enough for
you to make sure you can get in between them
and not get anything cut off. If only we had
the toothpicks. Oh, my God. Yeah. Still waiting
to see how those marshmallows are going to play
into this. But once you get to the top, go ahead,
Fuzz, and give me perception or investigation.
Investigation. Okay. Ooh, that's a 17. I'm going
to flash back to get a 22. 22. Okay. Above a
20. So things you immediately notice. It's hard
to see from your angle. Again, apologies. You're
pretty low to the ground. There seems to be some
kind of design on what you can only describe
as a landing platform. Some kind of helipad,
so to speak. Again, hard to make out what it
is. But then looking out now at this new vantage
point and being further closer to the finish
line, you can now see specs in the distance in
four other directions. of teams slowly making
progress. They all seem to be only about halfway
through at this point. And it's your action to
use the grapple hook? Yes. Just checking that.
Okay. So you do have movement if you wanted to
move closer. You can clearly see where each of
their platforms lead up to the climb, very similar
to yours. So you're free to do with that knowledge
what you will. My Pegasus wings are going to
come out, and I'm going to hover 20 feet in the
air, and I'm just going to stay because I have
one more use of flashback in case I need to.
Okay. Keep an eye on them. Okay. So with that
end of the round, Lu and Jackson, you're about
45 feet up that 100-foot climb. We have Fuzz
just kind of chilling out at the top right now,
ready to assist if he can with his flashbacks.
Same situation. We're looking now. You're a little
bit higher. Getting a little worn out. Gravity's
starting to pull on you a little bit harder as
you're higher up. We're going to be calling these
now DC-13 athletic checks to make sure you don't
lose any progress. I think then the best thing,
I'm just going to try and get out of the way
right now, and I think Lu will just teleport
up. Okay. So you'll leave the rope dangling behind.
That's not going to impede Jackson at all, but
he does not have that safety net anymore. So
you're safely up there with the bonus action.
Well, actually, I think I would ask Jackson to
either... cut or just pull it loose. Untie. Yeah.
And I would take it with me. Okay. So he doesn't
have it hanging off. All right. Easily done.
We'll say there's no rolls needed for that. Lu,
you're up there with just a bonus action. Jackson,
anything you want to try? So if I time it right,
I can pass two of the blades. Yeah. And what
I would say is they're stopping actually about
like the 70 foot mark. So I'd say you get your
full movement speed up. They're no longer an
issue. All right. It's meant to only be a danger
in the middle sections here. Okay. So I think
I can do this. And that is a 28. Amazing. Easily
done. Expertly timed. It's like a movie hero
of old. Legends tell of these stories. Of one
of the many different JBs. James Bond, Jack Bauer,
all doing these heroic feats of athleticism.
You scale that wall, dodging the saw blades.
You're now only 10 feet away with no other obstacles
in your path. From the ledge, you hear Jackson
say, no good, I've known too many Spaniards.
What? Evan, do you want to, for those who may
not know, it's a movie about a princess getting
married. Yeah, know too many Spaniards. Oh, there
we go. I was waiting for another Arnold Schwarzenegger
thing. So I thought maybe you were going to recall
something totally. He has a vast array of studies.
Okay. He does not limit himself to Austrians.
Even though this was not a serialized piece,
it was derivative of another serialized piece
involving a Spanish hero dressed similarly. So
it sort of frequently in the text is mistaken
for being an offshoot. I see. I will give a lecture
on that once I'm not dangling 85 feet above or
90 feet above a pool of lava. Amazing. So he
easily made it up. So Fuzz and Lu, you both
have full movement and actions available if you
would like to do anything. Again. Fuzz has already
seen the other competitors making their way.
They're about 70 % -ish now through their little
trench runs. I think I'm going to hold my action
to use my tractor beam in case Jackson falls.
Okay. I think I would like to investigate the
ship to see if there's any traps or anything
getting onto the ship or anything like that.
Gotcha. Go ahead and roll that investigation
check for me, please. Okay, 18 plus 6 is 24.
Wow, a very good roll. So as you approach the
ship, one thing, it looks like right now the
door is stuck fast. Looks like you see no controls
on the outside. It looks like you have no way
to interact with it. But in that same regard,
looking as close as you can, you don't see anything
like trip wire, pressure plates, anything like
that that would tip you off that there's some
kind of trap here. Does it remind me of the door
that pops out of the wall? Back at our little...
It looks like a standard door you would see.
Oh, okay. You would expect it- So I can see the
door. Yes, yeah. It is not a pristine ship with
no creases. No, this is obviously... This would
be the entrance. It's just currently locked and
you have no way to access it. Perhaps somebody
of Fuzz's nature could try to figure out how
to hack into it or if you wanted to attempt to
do it on your next turn, try to lockpick in.
Gotcha. Right now, that's all you see. With that,
we'll move on to the next round. Ladies and gentlemen,
we're waiting for the last member of the Privateers
to cross the finish line. Will he make it? DC
13. 21. And triumphantly, you cross over the
threshold and instantly along the entire perimeter,
barely behind you. It looks like they were not
ready for you to be a little slow, just in case.
Fireworks shoot up all around the platform, signaling
the first team to reach the finish line. And
the door then whooshes open. And Dr. Nuo Martin
is standing there with a headset on. Come on
in, Privateers. It's time. Come on. First place.
You get the star interview. The folks at home
want to hear your story. Quickly. Quickly. All
right. Here we go. Lu would like to just glance
to see where the fireworks came out of. If there
are other fireworks in there set to go off. I
will say it's a perception check. 22. 22. What
you saw, you see tiny little holes that just
let them go up. You don't see like another one.
It looks like it was a one time. Whoever got
here first gets the- shit. They still have all
of our fireworks. I know. But as if you all follow
when you're led onto the ship, it's quite spacious
in here. It reminds you a little bit of the rail
carts you used to use. So mass transit. But there
are four, sorry, five distinct sections. It looks
like with private rooms. It looks like for each
of the teams to rest in during the journey, wherever
the ship may be taking you after this. And Dr.
Nuo Martin is gesturing you all into one.
It kind of looks like. Essentially like a big
restaurant booth with a table seated in the middle
and cushioned seats around the perimeter. All
right. Well, what was the reaction? Did people
seem to like us? Do they like you? Quickly, quickly.
Show them the chat. A hologram will appear and
it's just "Privateers are number one." "Let's go."
"Why is there only three of them?" You just see
all these types of messages, some support, some
of them calling out some of the highlights of
that. "THEY SURFED THE ROCKS?!" in all caps. And then
you see some advertisements as well as don't
forget to eat Husk corn. We husk it so you can
enjoy it. All right. Well, it seems like we made
a good first impression. Yes. Yes. But come on.
Now's your chance to speak to the people. They're
giving you as the first place team. What would
you like to say to the people? Hi. They already
say hello to you. But do you have any words you'd
like to say? Some people may be wondering why
we're just a team of three here. We're hoping
to get our teammate Soup cleared past. There
were some administrative hurdles for them to
join us in this first challenge, but we're hoping
those will be cleared up by next time. You could
all help us out by writing in and giving your
support to Soup. You heard that from Jackson
of the Privateers, folks. This team. What a fantastic
performance while a man down. Can you imagine
if they had their full force? One more time.
What do we want to hear the people say? Support
for Soup. Support for Soup. Support for Soup.
Support for Soup. And in that hologram of the
live stream chat, you just start seeing all the
Support for Soup. Emojis start going on. You
see soup cans just all of a sudden start trending
in that chat. And with that. The door closes
and it seems like you are not allowed to see
the other competitors as they make their way,
who succeeded and who did not. But you are well
aware that one team apparently is not making
it off this planet. When we take over the galaxy,
we'll come back with a ship and save them. What
a kidder, folks! All right. Well, that does it
for our first day of competition. We'll see you
next week on the Amazing Space Race. Cut. What
the fuck? I just, that's what we'll do. I know,
maybe I shouldn't have said it then. I forgot
about the cameras. Hey, look, great show. I'm
sure they're going to give that a little leniency
given the performance. Just Ixnay on the Conqueray.
You know what I'm saying? No. Hmm. Anyways, I
believe the word you were looking for was onqueringcay
I'm not fluent. Oh, now I see. All right.
Fantastic job out there. That's going to get
some ratings. What a move. Do you all like practice
that? You think we have a lava pit to practice
in? I mean, it sure looked like it the way you
performed out there. I'd say this wasn't your
first time. And it's going to be our last. All
right. Well, settle in, folks. We're going to
be shipping you back to that little compound
you have. Unfortunately, I think that means the
bags are going to be coming back on here pretty
soon. From what I know, we got another week before
the next episode goes live. So you have another
week to prepare. Who knows? Maybe... Prepare
for what? It keeps saying prepare, but we have
no idea what we're preparing for. So it's really
just hanging out. Can you give us anything else?
Uh, no. I don't know. Look, I came to you as
early as I could with the information they gave
me. I'll do the same thing this time. Just in
general, stretch, limber up. Stretch, limber
up? Yeah, do a lot of running today. Probably
behooves you to be ready for any kind of physical
exertion. Behooves? Now we're talking about my
hooves. I'm sorry. It's a common turn of phrase.
Not as common as you would think. It's going
to be an awkward ride here in a second. Do the
other teams also have media personalities who
have been strong-armed into doing a play-by
-play? Of course. It's all my contemporaries.
Competitors, yes. Ah, so you know the other people.
Yeah, and we're kind of sharing news as we hear
it. Friendly competition. Well, not friendly,
but we do realize it would be unprofessional
if we didn't share what information the other
ones pick up on. So it's all kind of getting
spread out at the same time, so to speak. So
you've heard about the other teams. Ah, I've
heard some things. What are those things that
might be interesting? Maybe give us something
to set ourselves apart be able to put on a better
show. Yes give it to us Dr. Martin. Dr. Martin pulls
on his collar. I haven't heard a woman say that
to me in a long time. You get used to it. All right
uh That's a... Sorry. Professional. Right now,
I know general things. Apparently, they all come
from less than savory backgrounds. I don't know
the exact records we're talking about here, but
it's supposed to be a battle for freedom sort
of thing going on here is how they're kind of
pitching it. All right. And so it also makes
the folks at home a little more comfortable with
the more... dangerous aspects of the show this
season. So it's a give and take. They get to
be a little more bombastic, a little more thrilling.
But then also there's the hope for freedom, this
big escape, a chance to turn it all around. If
we didn't get off of this planet, would you have
been stuck here as well? That's a good question.
I have a feeling I can guess the answer, but
I don't know for sure. All right. Well, you're
about to find out, I suppose, because you'll
be missing one of your competitors. Exactly.
I wonder how free the information will be flowing
after that point. Something tells me it might
be more difficult to get word out, but also people
would be much more enticed. Or they want to keep
it to themselves so that they have an advantage.
We've all lived a hard life, I feel like. Aren't
you a newscaster, Dr. Martin? You ever see me
not on air? You ever wonder how we run a 24-7
news organization with me as the primary caster?
Well, that makes sense. Cloning, obviously. I
wish. So, needless to say, we're all not happy
about this situation. And while we would like
to better our chances, we also feel some sympathy
for those of us in similar positions. We're not
as cutthroat. We believe in everybody gets their
fair chance, since the guy up top won't give
that to us. Can I roll an insight check? Go for
it. Nine. Yeah, unfortunately, Nuo Martin's
pretty persuasive. As far as you can tell, he's
being honest. So, can I take it that the cameras
and microphones aren't active currently? As far
as I know. I could do the double check. It's
alright. Alright. Well, I'm sure those others
should be finishing up any time here soon, and
then they'll be coming here to bag us all. Any
last words? Last words? For today. Any chance
you could maybe exert some pressure? I had a
few belongings on the ship that we were taken
from. Would love to get them. This is the longest
I have worn a face consecutively for quite a
while, and it is starting to get itchy. Yeah.
He'll pull out a piece of paper and kind of write
it down. You recognize your requisition slip
that he turned in originally. You see red lines
through some objects that they refused on. But
on the back of that, describe to me like your
personal belongings. Again, if it's something
similar to what was denied earlier, I doubt they'll
give it to you. But that sounds just like harmless
in all aspects, unless it's got like lasers for
eyes. I could never afford those kind of upgrades.
Okay. So easily done. I'll see what we can do
and I'll try to leverage it some way that will
make the show a little bit better. I mean, at
the very least, if I show up with a different
look every episode, then there is a small subset
of people that might actually find that interesting.
Interesting to say what face he's going to be
wearing next. Yeah, I see that. Okay. Anything
else? No. No. Great job today. Fantastic. I wish
you all the best. And not just... because my
life is riding on it too. Although that's the
majority of it. It's about that time. Door whooshes
open. Bots come in. That bag is placed over your
head. Lu, it just blocks out your perception,
but these two unfortunately feel a lot more.
And as their vision closes, we will close today's
episode. That's one challenge down. I wonder
how many are left to go. All right, folks. We'll
see you next time. Bye! Where are the Privateers
headed next? Can they maintain their momentum
and take this race by storm? What can't Fuzz
pull out of his boot? Jackson can copy other
creatures' abilities? What will these charismatic
criminals do next on Grand Theft Galactic? Thank
you for listening to Grand Theft Galactic. With
Daniel Begin as Lieutenant Fuzz Sparkleday.
Evan Kelly as Jackson. Bo Powell as Lumen. And
MattsTheLast as the Game Master. Produced
by Evan Kelly. Trope Warden, Evan Kelly. Bo here.
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