You're listening to Twisted Tropes. Familiar
settings. Wild new tales. Now on with the story.
Grand Theft Galactic. Episode 1. All Part of
the Plan. Not so long ago, in a galaxy you know
and love, a spectacular discovery was made on
the fourth planet of the solar system you call
home. A cache of technology left behind by some
ancient, advanced species now lost to time. This
technology was the key to unlocking the next
frontier for humankind. Galaxies beyond the Milky
Way. In the right hands, this technology would
have been the beacon that led your people into
a golden age of discovery, exploration, and expansion.
But instead, it fell into the hands of Simon
Husk. The asshole billionaire head of the Husk
Corporation discovered this cash on his first
commercial spaceflight to Mars and hoarded it
to use for his own personal gain. Utilizing the
technology and the wealth he had amassed as a
cutthroat businessman, he built the first ever
ship capable of making it to The Andromeda Galaxy.
With a complete monopoly on intergalactic travel,
the Husk Corporation was able to leverage this
advantage to become involved in all aspects of
people's day-to-day lives within Andromeda.
Eight generations and about a thousand years
later, the Huss Corporation rules the Andromeda
Galaxy as a plutocracy. Simon Husk IX sits upon
the throne. All traffic. between the Milky Way
and Andromeda runs through Husk channels. Regional
directors oversee different solar systems and
treat the occupants like any other power-hungry
middle manager would. Those stuck in the working
class are barely more than glorified, indentured
servants, serving at the whim of Simon and his
mass-produced robotic Husk security force. In
the early years after Husk arrival, There were
those who tried to openly oppose the Husk Corporation,
but they quickly learned that everyone does as
Simon says, or else. It is now the year 1015
PHA, Post Husk arrival. Most citizens of Andromeda
have learned to deal with their loss of life,
thinking, unfortunately, it's better to live
to see another day than suffering whatever cruel
punishment that resistance would bring their
way. Even still, there is the odd whisper here
and there that there are still those who fight
the good fight, slowly gaining strength and courage,
searching for the means to truly make a difference.
Are these merely the lofty dreams of fools, or
is there a chance, a chance for a new hope to
emerge? The first thing that strikes you is the
noise. Space is supposed to be quiet. Space is
supposed to be silent. But instead, your ears
are being constantly assaulted by a cacophony
of sound. The rail system's metal is whining
under the strain of the speed it's traveling.
Jobbers are wheeling and dealing on their different
communication devices while commuting to their
place of business. And most annoying of all is
the broadcasted advertisements. Advertising things
like the 578th annual Simon Says competition,
the newest season of the Space Race that'll be
streamed live for the first time ever, and the
Husk Technology Convention with invites set to
be received any day now. None of that is important
to one specific individual on this rail. Making
his way to a certain destination, we see before
us a man of many faces, some would say. What
face are we seeing right now? Currently, Jackson
is wearing one of his more human faces. It is
handsome, mid-30s. The only notable thing that
would differentiate him as being a Bot, as the
vernacular goes, is the seam lines where the
synth skin meets up, but even those are symmetrically
and artistically done. He is smartly dressed,
but not in an ostentatious way, so he doesn't
draw attention. If attention should fall on him,
he simply seems to be someone of moderate means
and fairly good taste. Looking to your left and
right, it's a decently crowded train today. It
seems a lot of people are on their commute this
day of the week to different parts of the galaxy.
A security droid is walking through, the Bot,
looking to different persons and just, Tickets,
please. Tickets, please. It slowly makes its
way to you, opens up a hand, really it's just a
receptacle for you to place the ticket that you
purchased to get onto the rail. Tickets, please.
And like any dutiful corporate citizen, I hand
him my singular ticket and make sure that my
large briefcase is out of his way so it doesn't
impede his work. I try to protectively kick it
under the seat. Almost as if instantaneously
recognizing the cue. The Bot stands up straighter.
Its head rotates 360 degrees as it blasts an
announcement. Please keep bags outside of the
aisle. And it moves on to the next guest. Tickets,
please. And as it makes its way to the end of
the train, before proceeding, its head spins once
again to give it another announcement: Simon
says, enjoy your trip. And exits the train. I
hate him already. The worst. It's about
15 minutes before you arrive at your destination.
The Katarn system, specifically the planet of
Quasar. What you see before you as the rail begins
to finally descend down to normal speeds is a
planet that is essentially one massive city.
And it's ugly. It's not pristine and clean and
shimmering and a beacon of technology and advancement.
It's dirty. It's grimy. It's smoggy. And it feels
right at home. As the rail lets you off, all
the different denizens of this train make their
way, going to here and there to do whatever bidding
the Husk Corporation asks of them. Where are
you heading to, Jackson? Jackson is going to
be heading down towards the sanitation department
that is close to his actual destination. But
there is a stop he has to make first. Interesting.
So as you make your way, are you going to be
traveling on foot? Did you want to hail a cab?
Cabs have surveillance in them for the protection
of the driver and the protection of the driver
only. But Jackson is going to go on foot. Rushing
any kind of operation is where mistakes happen.
So he's going to take the walk to go over his
plan, his cover, and his approach. During your
walk to the sanitation department. The first thing you realize
is just how heavy the smog hangs in the air.
It is a literal physical cloud that hangs above
you. The stench permeates through everything.
And yet, despite all that, it is obnoxiously
bright. Neon signs, pink, blues, and greens penetrate
through the brown smog, making all the colors
just a wash of dirty browns and oranges that
make it to the street. Again, the noise assaults
your ears. Clubs, businesses, police raids. There
is a slight hitch that causes the bag to jiggle
a little bit asymmetrically. Luckily, it seems
no one else hears the sounds coming from your
suitcase. But you do see Husk Bots doing different
raids on what look to be businesses, apartment
buildings. homeless shelters... This is unfortunately
a sight you're too familiar with and it's just
the horrible sound you've become strangely accustomed
to of freeze please! Freeze please! And Jackson
is going to continued outwardly unbothered on
his walk but muttering quietly under his breath
didn't say Simon says you... And it's just a few
minutes walk before you arrive there at the destination.
There is a small front entrance for those who
do need to file any sort of complaint or schedule
any large pickup deliveries that wouldn't be handled
normally during their normal trash pickup days.
What did you have in mind? I would like to find
a receptionist, a office manager, someone who
looks like they have... enough power to make
some decisions. As you make your way into the
main entrance, there's immediately right in front
of you, it looks like a front desk with a Stellar
seated there. The Stellar seems to be older,
you can tell by the coloration. Deeper orange,
almost starting to verge on white at the edges
of their luminescent form. And they turn to you
in their chair. reverberation as they speak in
the lights they kind of just dim and glow with
every syllable. Hello and welcome to sanitation,
how can i help you today? Hi how are you doing?
Stanley Cranston. I'm with the public relations
office of media information we are working on
a project uh the Husk Corporation wants to start
really letting people know about all of the the
individual components that really make our corporate
society, you know, just hum along as efficiently
as it does. So we're staging some information
videos, and I am in charge of putting together
one about sanitation. The unsung heroes, the
people that keep our city streets clear and disease
free. And so we're we're doing some B-roll shots
today. And we would love to get some, you know,
inside of a truck shots. Some, you know, we're
going to be staging some for aesthetic purposes.
And then after that, we'd love to maybe do some
interviews with some of the workers, some of
the people who do the scheduling, some of the
some of the sanitation engineers who are on the
front line. So we'd like to... Hold on. And he puts
his hand to his ear. Yes, I'm just securing the
truck now. Just if you could get the locations
cleared up so we have good camera lines. Right.
I will be there when I'm there. All right. Thank
you. Excellent. I'm going to ask you, you're
going to make a dual role for me. First, give
me a general charisma check. I just want to see
how charming you're feeling today. And then after
that, make me a deception check to sell this
whole thing. I feel very charming. Let's see
what the dice say. The dice say no. That's a
nine. Okay. And then go ahead and roll me that
deception check. It's just going to be a straight
roll. Come on, expertise in deception. That's
a 27. Wow. It doesn't matter how charming you
are if you just tell a convincing lie. The stellar
at first. looks a bit confused you recognize
the the darkening of the colors to be somewhat
of a negative emotion given your experience with
some Stellars but then as soon as you start laying
on the compliments and the importance of their
job you recognize the importance of shining the
light so to speak on a person's mission and instantly
they're intrigued. Oh i wasn't informed that someone
from pr would be arriving today you're not on
the schedule. Oh i do apologize. I will talk to
uh the intern who is in charge of getting those
emails out and we will be having words but uh
thank you. You had to deal with Brian? I'm
so sorry. Every office has a Brian. Do they?
Is that true? I really hope not, this is my first
office job. If I look for other work, I really
don't want to have to deal with more. Sometimes
they're not called Brian, but every office has
a Brian. Oh, this galaxy is so miserable. But
that's why we're here to clean it up. So what
did you need again? I'm so sorry. There were
so many good words you said. You needed a truck
and an interview. Engineers, I don't know if
we have those. First off, we just need the truck
to get some establishing shots, some B-roll
that we can lay in underneath and around the
actual interviews. We would like to come back
later and schedule those specifically. And that'll
be after we have the B-roll, so we can sort
of storyboard in exactly who we need to talk
to. Oh, yes, yes. No, I understand. We just had
a fleet of our trucks go through cleaning, and
we want to make sure that they reflect how clean
we keep the neighborhood. Yes, if you just let
me scan you in, and they reach behind them, you
see them enter a key card into a receptacle behind
them, and the employee's only area door. Please
go right on through; lots 79552A through 79552Z.
Pick any of those trucks. They should all be
perfect for you. Fantastic. Keys are in them?
Yes, of course. Well, keys. You're a bit of an
old school man. I do like an archaic turn of
phrase. Oh, I miss those days. The analog feeling.
No, it's just a button. You just push it. Keeping
things efficient. Oh, and if you ever... What's
your name again? Just in case you ever were looking
to look for a new office, Brian. Oh, and you
see the equivalent of a stellar blush. The oranges
turn a small shade of pink. Oh, well, my friends
call me Star. Good meeting you, Star. Oh, my
God. And... Jackson and his very important briefcase
will make their way back to... I'm going to take
one out of Lot J. Lot J. Good choice. As you
make your way through, it's a very low-tech
facility. Not a lot of security to speak of.
You saw a camera looking at the reception area
just in case anybody wanted to try something.
But it's a sanitation business. Cash isn't on
hand. There's nothing really of interest here
to anybody who has nefarious purposes. Heaven
forfend. But you go to Lot J and you see a standard
sanitation truck. For those of you familiar with
the Milky Way Galaxy and how things used to be
back then, it's a normal garbage truck. However,
the wheels have just been repositioned with a
little bit of a gravity bed. So the truck will
just hover slightly above ground. Other than
that, there's been no technological improvements.
It's still just a garbage truck. Perfect. Fantastic
performance vehicle. All right. Jackson hops
in, fires it up, and heads for a... looking for
an alley, maybe a block or two away in the other
direction of our actual target. Easily done.
You've been given full, basically, carte blanche
with this truck. So wherever you take it, it's
yours. Go ahead and give me a quick technology
roll, if you wouldn't mind. Come on. That's a
six. Yeah. You know it's been a while... Out of
the briefcase, it pops open a little bit, and
you see just a unicorn horn stick out, and I'm
going to use flashback, and you get a plus four
to that roll. All right, we're up to a ten. Better
than a six. I am a proficient pilot. So could
you describe to me what you say to help Jackson
drive a stick shift? Because nobody's really
had to deal with that in quite a while. Yeah,
the briefcase pops open a little bit, and you
hear, Not like that, you SPARKLE! Just... Push
it a little bit to the left. All right, Lieutenant.
Don't get your horn in a twist. I hate it when
you tell me that. I shut the briefcase. Do you
say that? As you shut it? Poor little guy. I
can't shut it. So shut it. I will get it. Again,
just a plain, ordinary briefcase. Everything's
going according to plan. So you easily are with
the extra guidance provided by the lieutenant
you're able to steer the vehicle moderately well
and get it back into an alley. Like you said,
you're about a block, block and a half from your
target. What's the next step here, Jackson? Hazards
on. And then we'll take the... briefcase and
head towards the records building. Okay. So as
you approach it's a moderately sized facility
from what you can see from the outside you'd
estimate probably about the size of a normal
retail store as you enter very similar layout
to the sanitation facility. Small camera you can
see in the corner, pointed at the front desk.
Seated at that front desk, who is about to greet
you, you see a very large blue Globin. This seems
to have frilled edges alongside of the outside
of their gloop, so to speak. Almost looking like
a... just a blown up amoeba. You see different
bubbles boiling up within them and popping and
then reforming but there are three that stay
solid that look to maybe purposely be there to
mimic where eyes and a mouth would be on a normal
sentient human and uh as you approach they turn
towards you with that bubbly face and I would
like to communicate that i am happy to see you.
Welcome to the record store -- age facility. How
may I assist you today? Oh, hi. I just have some
patents. Understood. What name should I be placing
these records under? Templeton Fawkes. And that's
Fawkes F -A -W -K -E -S. Not F -O -C -K -S. It's
a common mistake. Understood. I want to communicate
appreciation for that clarification. Now, Mr.
Fawkes, how long do you expect to be storing these
for? Yeah, these are probably going to have to
be stored for a minimum of four months. Understood.
Four months of storage and any security protocols
that need to be in place? Would you like them
just to be locked in a cabinet or would you like
a... pay an extra premium for the high security
room. Oh, the nature of the files I think will
definitely need a high security treatment. Understood.
That will be an extra 100 credits per month for
a total of... I need to communicate apologies.
Our system is down and so I can't calculate it
automatically. I'm doing the math in my head.
800 credits for the four months. You will need
a 10 % down payment immediately. That is, I need
to communicate apologies. Our system is down
and I need to calculate this... 80 credits today.
That is fantastic. It is all expensible. And
I will hand over the 80 credits. Very good, sir.
Would you like to place them or can I take this
briefcase for you so you can save time with the
rest of your day? I would like to place them
myself. There are some loose files. If it's jostled
too much, they may come uncoilated. Understood.
Please pick up the briefcase and follow me. And
then the Globin will get up. He's not any taller.
It just kind of splooges into a different position.
And then he starts. You're familiar with Globins
as well. This one doesn't walk so much as the
amoeba form at the bottom kind of rolls along
like it's a snail or a slug. And he just kind
of slides along. He approaches the door and he
puts a wet glop onto some kind of biometric scanner.
Access granted. Please follow me, Mr. Fawkes. Jackson
will follow, but just slightly off to the side
so he's not walking in whatever trail this might
be. Probably for the best. Go ahead and give
me a perception check as you're walking. Oh,
right. I am especially mediocre at those. Seven.
Seven? I mean, so you're not picking up on any
fine details, but obviously this... is a more
secure facility than the sanitation district
you're originally at. Much more cameras. The
doors are, they're not just the typical glass
automatic doors you're used to. Some of these
rooms have hard steel doors. You see obvious
locks on some of them. Physical locks. That's
old school tech. That's much harder to break
in this modern age for some people. You are led
down and down and down. Honestly, it's not that
long of a trip. It's just this poor guy's very
slow. It's 10 feet of hallway. And finally, you are led
to a door that is plainly labeled high security.
It's nice to label it, really. Very clear. There
are bars down in front of it. You hear the whir
of something electronic. Go ahead and give me
a technology roll. And you can have advantage
on it given your past history with these type
of contraptions. Well, I will give a 16. 16.
That whir, you can tell there's some kind of
probably a magnetic field inside that would be
able to tell if somebody tried to drill through
it would automatically set off an alarm. But
again, there's a biometric scanner placed there.
Access granted. All the doors unlock. It's about
a 30 second process before everything finally
opens up. And you're led into a very pristine
room. Surgical lighting. It's a little too bright
in here. And this guy's leading me into the clean
room. Yes. Oh, man. Mr. Fawkes, we will have a...
Special cabinet here for you. You may select
your pin code. I will turn around. Oh, no. Why
doesn't he just put his face on the other side
of his blue? That's really offensive. Actually,
if you knew Globin anatomy, Wow. Oh, okay.
Sorry. So it's kind of like what you would find
at amusement parks as far as we know of the locker
system. Just a little more high tech with a personal
pin code that you're going to go ahead and enter.
Four to ten digits. You hit the pound key and
then it will go ahead and lock. I assume I have
to put the bag down to do all of this? Depends
on you, but you're more than welcome to put the
bag down while you do it. I will put it down
and slightly unzip the bag. So that way the Lieutenant
can see what I'm putting in as the pin. Lieutenant,
go ahead and give me a perception check. And
if you could give me a sleight of hand check.
Did you beat a 12? I did. That is a 15. You see
exactly whatever pin code that Mr. Fawkes has selected
for this cabinet. A little hiss of air as the
door releases and swings open automatically for
you to deposit the briefcase. In it goes. Quick
close. All righty, Mr. Fawkes. If you'll follow
me, I will just need a few signatures to finalize
the contract. This way, please. Stay close. And
he will lead you out of the room. We're going
to leave you for a second because we're cutting
inside of this locker. What's going on? It's
silent for a moment until we hear the whole,
like, the door shutting and then... All of a
sudden, you just hear a zzzz of the bag opening,
and you see a unicorn horn stick out, and then
a toy, an 11-inch toy, step out of this bag.
He is a robot unicorn. He has faded white fur
in a black robotic suit. He has hot pink asteroids
all over it. He has, it almost looked as... as
if he was shot with a paintball gun because there's
like faded metallic paint on him, but all in
different fun shapes, like a smiley face and
a heart and a star. And there's also clearly
was glitter on him at some point, but it is faded.
He has a purple and yellow mane and a purple
and yellow horse tail, but it is frayed and burned
and not very well kept. I also should mention
he has pink boots on like neon pink boots at
the bottom with hooves on the bottom of them
and in his mouth - There's hooves on the bottom
of his boots? Yes of course there are. Wait not
like horseshoes or something, there's hooves? Oh,
I meant horseshoes. Oh, lord. Horseshoes on the
bottom of his boots. Woof. That's so you can
stamp. Yeah, exactly. And then it's like the
stick of a lollipop that he has in his mouth
that mimics a cigarette. And he goes, all right,
you two, let's get out. And he opens it wider
so that. Soup can get out. And he goes, Soup,
get out. And then he lifts out a smaller pink
suitcase that says Arb on it. Like, it's also
a toy. I will get out now. And out, very similar
to the Globin that just opened all the security,
our new best friend, out comes a gelatinous set
of just nubby arms that lift out about a five
inch tall jelly thing. It is a humanoid creature, but
made of like a Jell-O type substance. It's like
teal in color with some shifty blues and greens
with some seafoam green freckles, you might call
them, even though they're just sort of like bits
that float around and shift. And they have fashioned
out of their gelatinous self clothes quote quote
uh which is in the form of a little cape that
goes over the shoulders and a sort of loin cloth
to cover what what what some folk might consider
their like secret bits that he, they, they make
sure they cover. Theyhe/she does not matter. Globins
don't really have a gender and In place of hair,
there are these five tubes that sort of come
out of the head on the side and across the back.
And they're just sort of lumps of what are an
imitation of hair with one little spriggy tube
that comes out the top because that's cute. And
with a big doofy smile climbing out, glooping
out is Soup. And I am ready. Is Lu ready? Would
you like to speak? And you'll see a bright light
emerge from this tiny pink arb suitcase. And
a four inch, well, it's so bright you can't really
see the shape. Just four inches of light comes
out and starts to grow. in size but dim in light
as it gets larger it can't get very large because
we're inside of like a locker here so it's going
to get a little bit dimmer and a little bit larger
and fit inside of this locker and be about probably
12 inches a little bit bigger than fuzz but this
is a Stellar and when you can start to see their
form, they are bright white at the edges, giving
like the shape, the idea of a shape of a human
-ish figure. Very androgynous. And their light
is white, but at the edges, it sort of splatters
like paint at the edges that break into crystals
like prisms. And you see the different colors
of the edges of their light. Okay. Well, that
is the Duffel Duffel Toil and Trouble and The
Scotch Egg. Two complete. Wow. Time for step
two. Right. Why are you two looking at me? You
tell us the step two. Usually you're the one.
I know. I just get thrown off every time you
refer to our actions as these names. How long
does it take you guys to come up with them? Oh.
I thought of one called The Soup, but then it
was named something else. I think Jack mostly
comes up with them. Oh, that's true. I like him.
All right. They're okay. All right. Okay, so
I'm going to get us out of this locker. Then
what we got to do is we got to go. Soup, you
and I, we're going to go find the security room.
Okay. Okay, we're going to turn off all the security
cameras. Is this not the security room? Well,
this is high security. We got to go. Oh, regular.
Well, no. Do you think that the blueprints will
be in here? They'll probably be in here, but
we have to go shut off the cameras. Oh, good
point. And I will be there. Real quick, everybody.
Give me a perception check as you kind of scope
out where you've scotched egg yourself into.
That's a nat 20 on my end. So that is a total
of 24 for perception. Nice. That's a twisted
20 for Lieutenant Fuzz. 15. Okay, great rolls,
everybody. So with that, Lu, as you expanded
out and started to cast some more light into
here, you get a lay of the land, so to speak,
of where you're at currently. So it's pretty
spacious, all things considered. I'd say about
three feet cubed, given it. So with your shorter
statures right now, plenty of room to maneuver
and move things around. It looks like this was
meant to hold larger files, potentially, or even
a decently sized box of files. Fuzz, if you wouldn't
mind giving me a quick investigation roll. 21.
Amazing. Okay, so as you look closer at the locker
door, trying to see if there's any way you can
feasibly get yourselves out of this currently
locked door, you don't unfortunately see anything
of a locking mechanism. That seems to all be
on the outside. However, though, you do see a
small crack where a bit of light is leaking through.
All right, Lu, there's a small crack over there
with some light. If you can get out, you want
to type in the code 7453. Seven, four, five,
three. Yeah, got it. Got it? Got it. All right,
good Soup. All right, go. So, Lu, you'll see
basically a flash of light that sort of stretches,
and it's because their light is going into that
crack of light and is getting sucked out basically
to the outside. They appear on the outside, but...
can't be seen because they're invisible and they
type in the numbers that you said that I've already
forgotten nine nine nine nine and i open the
door. Wish i could have given you a roll just
uh you hit in i think it was seven five two three
the DM has even forgotten. Seven four five three so there we go
uh the door this is open swings open and Fuzz
and Soup you can now see the light you don't
see your friend's light but you're also used
to that yeah all right good job just looking
around what does this room look like yeah so
looking out again you're seeing now what Jackson
had seen earlier a very sterile room very brightly
lit there are some deaths spotted throughout
this room again if people need to pull their
files review them or things like that do some
work but other than that it's just rows and rows
of lockers very similar to the one you're in
currently. There seems to not be much. There
is some vents to give some airflow into this
room to make sure papers don't go moldy or anything
like that. There is the big security door that
you assumed you were walked in through. There
is a biometric scanner that you can see, which
unfortunately has some goop that's slowly dripping
off it. Oh, good. And you do see an interesting
pattern of that same goop on the floor that seems
to have done like a weird U-turn shape. Do we
see any cameras in here? There are none. No.
This is meant to be a private space for those
reviewing potentially classified documents in
here. All right. So this is the room I think
that the blueprints are probably in. It makes
sense to me. All right, so what I want to do
is there's some residue of the other guy that
carried us in, the other Globin. Globin. Yeah.
I've been here a while. Yes, all right. We can
probably use some of that residue, right, to
get back out because it's a biometric scanner.
As a Globin, do I know you can just scoop up
part of someone? Because otherwise their security
sucks. So you would know, depending on how they
have it set up, you're not sure what it was set
to recognize from that Globin. You don't know
if it's a specific shape it has to make with
its hand, if it's the combination of the shape
plus whatever ooze is special and unique to its
own Globin, or you don't know if it really is
just a pressure push thing that they make look
fancy and they're overcharging the people who
are storing documents here. Well, what I can
try to do is make my hand also big and use the
goop and see if I am the right goop, but fake.
All right. Yeah, we can. Yeah, I think that it's
a good plan. I can also try and hack us out of
here. Like I can probably hack the door open,
I assume. So you can see Lu is now about five
foot six tall and dimmer than before even, but
still that vaguely humanoid light shape. Hello,
Lu. Hi, Soup. All right. All right. Yeah. You've
met each other before. All right. So... That's
a good point. So, all right. Did we get any sort...
It could be anywhere in these lockers. Is that
the sense that we got? Yeah unfortunately, the
information you got from your boss, he did not
know where exactly it would be stored. Although
he did give you that it was specifically a Husk
invention. You have a name you could try looking
for if you wanted to search this room. Yeah.
I think we should do that. Let's do that. Look
for the name. Look for the blueprints. All right.
Yeah. And then from there, Lu, you can take
the info and get out through the vents. Of course.
And then we will get out of here as well. Okay.
Good. All right. Cool. Let's find this. I will
scoop the goop. All right. Good. You use
that goop? Okay. Real quick. Yes. Everybody go
ahead and roll. We'll say investigation or perception,
your choice. But first, fuzz. Yeah. What's your
passive intelligence? Passive intelligence is
just, well, my intelligence score is 19. So that's
plus, so 14. 14. Okay. Go ahead and roll. You're
adding a plus 10 to this and I'll tell you why
in a second. What'd you get, Lu? 26. 26. Oh
my gosh. Soup. Do I have to roll to goop scoop?
Oh, right. I'm sorry. You're not looking. Soup
is goop scooping. You're goop scooping. No, that's
no role required. Oh, good. As I scoop, I do
get bigger and soup just for help returns to
their normal size form, which is about six foot
nine. Fantastic. So you scoop the goop Soup.
Go ahead, though. Give me Perception Investigation,
actually, for looking at the door to see if you
can surmise, based on the remnants of the goop,
what size or shape that the other Globin was
using. Sure. I'll do Perception. That's a 19.
19. Great roll. Okay. And then Fuzz. That's a
29. Oh, my God. Wow. Because I added 10 to it,
right? That's after the 10. Oh, that's right.
After the 10. Thank goodness. That would be like,
wow, that might be the almost 40 we've ever cracked.
No, no, no, no, no. All right. So I'm going to
handle Lou and Fuzz first. So, Lou, it's just
like your natural instinct to just find things
that are curious or shine attention. You notice
there's one locker that in this pristine and
surgically clean room is just extra clean, extra
shiny, reflecting the light, and it draws your
eyes. It's locker number nine. Fuzz, you remember
that Simon Husk. is a narcissistic piece of shit.
And of course, he's Simon the Ninth. And so of
course, he would want his favorite number locker.
And so both of you at the same time basically
go, that one. Number nine. I hate him. This guy
over here. All right. Yes. And then with that
roll of the 19, you're pretty confident, Soup,
that you can mimic the shape and size and you
know that'll open the door. I know I will open
the door. That's great, Soup. Thank you. Let's
go over to number nine. All right. Do you have
the code for this one as well? Knowing that he's
a narcissistic piece of shit. Is this one actually
999? It's like I'm like thinking back knowing
him and knowing my gut. Lieutenant Fuzz Sparkle
Day wants it to be 9999 because that would be
or it's 9, 9 times, in fact, you know, but he's
actually going to use his. thieves tools i think
here and uh and try and break in okay excellent
go ahead then and give me a uh roll using your...
you have proficiency with these? I do have proficiency
but what i would actually like to do is i would
like to use a trick if that's all right. Oh a
Trick of the Trade yeah? I'm gonna use a Trick
of the Trade and I am going to use I Read the
Manual. Okay so you're trying to get expertise
in thieves' tools. Yep gain expertise um and if
i was already proficient i would triple my proficiency
bonus. Okay go ahead. That's a dc25 intelligence
saving throw. That's an 18 on the die and I get
a plus seven so that's 25 exactly. Oh my god you
needed an 18 or higher? Daniel! What are you doing?
We only have three of those points. I know. Just
a reminder for the cast and the audience there
also could have been a Call It moment there if
we really needed that roll to succeed. Oh no. All
right um so with that not only do you now triple
your proficiency bonus Soup and Lu uh since
you were present when he did that you now have
expertise in thieves tools for the next hour.
I know I will open this door. All right. So yeah.
So I will try and do thieves tools 26. 26. Nice.
It's so easy for you, Fuzz. You've been around
for so long. You were here when this lock was
invented. Yeah. I remember when all locks were
made like this back on Earth. My God. And it
opens. And inside you see a single blueprint
rolled up, old school rubber band wrapped around
it. All right. Do we need to take the time to
make the Prince and the Pauper? Or are we just
taking this one and running? I think... No, we
should just take a photo of it with the camera.
Perfect. With the camera. That's right. The flash.
Oh, I can't wait to use this one. Lu will take
out a camera and take way too many pictures of
this just so that the flash goes off many times.
How many photos do we need? Maybe a few more.
Wow. It's a good thing you are here. It's really
awkward for a Lumen to, sorry, for a Stellar to
have a light fetish. Oh, man. Is that why you're
weirdly sexual all the time? Is it because you
turn yourself on? Yeah, obviously. What are you...
What is the blueprint of when we open it? So,
Fuzz, you're able to recognize how a blueprint
is laid out. And you can easily see it's some
kind of... printing machine. It has some very
specialized parts. You see it also has a diagram
to the side that looks like a special plate so
anything that would be printed out of it it's
almost a special stamp that would be sealed onto
the paper so that way it would be very hard to
forge this unless you had this exact printer
and the plate. Think of it like... It's not a currency
printer but it's a similar thought process of
if you didn't have this somebody could detect
a counterfeit. Will we be printing money? I don't
know why we need this. We have the photos. Let's
get out. All right. See you soon. All right.
And Lu will teleport up into one of the vents
above and disappear with the camera. Bye, Lu.
All right. I am going to, before we do anything
else, I am going to put it back as exactly as
it was. And I'm going to, and I want to use maybe
a tech check if you... technology check if you'd
allow me to but i want to like along with thieves
tools but i want to like relock it so it looks
like nobody has touched it. Does that make sense?
Yeah uh easily done and so any tampering that
you did to get through we're gonna let that 26
ride great you were able to get in you can get
out cleanly as well. Great no issue. All right
Soup. Yes? Are you ready to get out of here? I'm
so ready I will take the gloop that I have amassed
on my hand, and somewhere in the back of Soup's
mind, he'll think, this might be a rather intimate
gesture between Globin, but for right now, I
can open a door, and I will put my hand against
the scanner. Access granted. I did it. And then
there's the clunk as everything unlocks and the door
opens up into the hallway. Can I get quick dexterity
saving throws from you two? That is a 25 for
Fuzz. That's a 17 for Soup. Both great. On instinct,
as the door opens, the amount of time you all
have spent doing this kind of work, you instantly
move to the side of the door just in case there
is somebody walking through the hallway that
might have seen you and peek around the corner.
Luckily, it looks like this door does not have
a camera pointed at it. Again, it looks like
for privacy sake and the fact that they know
that you need employee access to get in here,
they don't need the cameras on it. But looking
through the hallway, you do see the majority
of the other doors have cameras pointed at the
doors to see who will be accessing these rooms,
not directly into the hallway. And then looking
out into it currently, there is nobody roaming
the halls. But again, you do see a slime trail
leading directly to the exit. At this point,
now that we've opened the door and I see that,
I would like to close my eyes and I'm going to
use my heartbeat sensor that I prepared for the
day so I can detect any creature within 100 feet
of me regardless of any material between us.
Amazing. Go ahead and describe to me what it
looks like when you utilize this tool of yours.
Oh, yeah. So I think my tail, what is left of
it, touches down on the ground and kind of senses
like rumbles a little bit. And I think you see
right on my chest where there's like a little
emblem of like a heart. You see it glow ever
so slightly. Not but like a light that hasn't
been changed in a few years. With that 100-foot
radius, wow. You sense a creature seated where
the slime is leading. It looks like there's one
creature there, not currently moving. You're
kind of like in a T-shaped hallway. So to your
left, no signatures. And then to your right,
there appears to be, as you look through, a room
at the very end with two signatures inside. I'll
get small. Soup will go back down to the five
-inch form. Weird question. Yeah? How high are
the cameras like would i be able to like fly
above their line of sight? Oh interesting. Yeah
they're angled down and you're small enough. Yeah
you could fly above them and also what i would
say too, given your intelligence, you would kind
of know like their field of vision yeah there'd
be a way for you to skin the top and not be seen
all right I can have your back if you want to
fly. Yeah, I think I'm going to fly above. Can
you, in the gloop path, move throughout the gloop
path? I could try. I can do that, or I can try
to wrap my body around you. Which one would you
prefer? I don't like it when you do it, but it's
probably the best way out of here. I smell like
mint. And I will wrap myself around, like, my
whole body, just sort of like... goo armor morphs
around the Lieutenant and my eyes are right next
to his face. You are safer. Amazing all right and
then I'm gonna press my heart um symbol and you
will see two uh pegasus wings pop up. Toy pegasus
wings pop out of my back and i just start to
putter up very slowly. Amazing. Which direction
are you headed in? I'm going to head... We're going
to follow the slime. I think we're going to go
that way. Okay. And cutting to the other part
of this dynamic quio? Quadrio? We are the quio,
baby. That's a horrible name. What is Lu doing
in the vents right now? Lu is just moving along
the vents and looking out each grate to see if
they can kind of figure out where they are in
the building from what they see. So from the
sense of direction, sorry, well now straight
ahead of you is the end of the T-junction and
then to your right would be another way. Which
way would you like to head? I'm going to go straight
ahead first. Straight ahead. You go there and
since the vent drops off into some kind of, it
looks like utility closet, you see different
cleaning supplies and things like that. And you
see in there, we're going to let the perception
check ride while you're in these vents. It's
not a Bot that would be described as like a
sentient being it looks like an actual old school
robot made for a singular purpose that doesn't
have free thinking. Those are becoming more rare
and rare these days but you just see it kind
of spinning, spinning. Tt selects a mop, it selects
a bucket, it spins, bumps into the door, it doesn't
open, it bumps into the door, it doesn't open, it
bumps into the door a third time it finally opens.
And then it goes out and you hear this sound
of what you can assume is some kind of gloop
being cleaned up. Cut to the other two individuals.
You hear a door open and the sound of wheels
spinning. When you look behind you, you see an
actual robot. It just seems to be cleaning up
the goop left behind by the receptionist. All
right. I'm going to use a Trick of the Trade
again, friends. And I'm going to use Catch Me
if You Can. a dex um a dex saving throw to be
able to dash as a bonus action i think. Okay yeah
so here we go dc 15. Uh yeah that is a that's
a 23. Oh yeah all right yeah for the next 10 minutes
you can uh dash as a bonus action great you don't
trigger opportunity attacks. So I'm going to go
actually rather than going directly for the door
I'm going to keep to i think to the walls and
kind of jump behind things kind of a la Toy Story
and pause and use the bonus action dash while
I'm still stealthing with Soup i think using
that to quick move faster out the door. And is
your goal, are you trying to sneak past the receptionist
and get out the front door/ Yeah I think so. Go
ahead and give me a stealth check then. Just checking
am I still benefiting from this as being Soup
armor? You are just on soup so- I'm sorry you are
just on- Soup is on Fuzz. Yeah so you're riding
along him; you get the benefit You don't want
Soupy Fuzz? I hated that. So I am going to use
a flashback as well on this on myself. So that
is going to make this a 24. 24 stealth. Wow.
Yeah. It seems the receptionist, he's busy typing
away. And as he's typing, you hear like the...
And you hear him get a little sad. I would like
to communicate sadness to myself. I'm causing
the system errors. I thought it might be bad
for him to use a keyboard. And that's the last
sound you hear as you slip through the door unseen
Great. And we're going to go and we're going
to head back and wait near the garbage truck.
As you are making your way though, Soup, while
you're going for a ride on Fuzz, give me a perception
check. Gladly. 21. As you're making your way
to the truck, there's this individual that catches
your eye. They seem to be idly making a call,
having a conversation. It's not Jackson. At least
it's not the Jackson that walked through earlier,
but you do recognize this person. And I will
whisper directly into Fuzz's ear, I see our fake
friend. All right. That one. And you just see
a little protrusion come out and go and point
at the person. And this will spark back. You'll
hear the voice of your boss. All right, kids.
Now, remember, we got to give them a win here.
So after you get what you came for, Soup, you're
going to reconvene and do a fake heist. Do you
understand what a fake heist is? Yes. What is
reconvene? You're gonna find Jackson. If you
see Jackson outside, go get him and he'll tell
you what to do next. I have a question. Yes.
What if Jackson doesn't look like Jackson? Jackson
will look like one of the Jacksons you know.
A fake Jackson. You're getting really good at
the word fake. Thank you. And you have that memory.
Reconvene! And i will whisper as we run towards Jackson
I'll go. I'll bring Soup over there and then I'm
gonna head back to the garbage truck. And then
cutting over to Lu in the ventilation system.
Easily, you're able to navigate through. Was
there anything else, though, that you wanted
to look inside of the building? Or would you
like to try to find where the ventilation system
actually vents outside? Vents out. Easily done.
You follow the path. You can even feel the wind
blowing and you're able to follow that direction.
And you find yourself out into like an alleyway.
And where are you headed? Perfect. I'm headed
back to the garbage truck. Back to the reconvening
spot. The word. So as you two make your way to
the truck, what are Jackson and Soup doing? So
when Soup reconvenes. Oh, I did it. Well reconvened,
Soup. Thank you very much. All right. So I'm
thinking down the alley and then reverse McClane.
Reverse McClane. We are going to sidle down, down
the alley. And then Jackson will take Soup's
hand and nod. And Soup will stretch out 30 feet
up to sort of become a soupy grappling hook bridge
in order to help us get higher up, like onto
a roof or a ledge. So we'll stretch out and the
eyes will still remain kind of on the hand. by
Jackson, so that way once one side is latched,
we'll say, I have McClaned. Alright, up we go.
I imagine this is almost like Jackson was using
one of those sticky hand toys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just sort of hold on on one end and I'll
take us up. Okay, easily done. So you make your
way 30 feet, so that's enough to get you onto
the roof, no problem. You're now on the roof
of this warehouse. Looking at it, you do see
there is some windows up here, kind of skylight
-esque, that look down into the interior. Both
of you, if you want to look down there, can give
me a perception check to see what you see inside.
Six. 17. Okay. Soup, you're too happy and you're
just talking to yourself about reconvening. I've
convened. And again. And again. You're not reconvening,
but you are reconnoitering. Thank you. A new
lesson. That's a much better way to say reconning.
So as you're looking into there, now you're seeing
a lot more movement. There seems to be different
types of, you're familiar with these Bots. It's
the typical security Bots that are employed en
masse by the Husk Corporation. They seem to be
loading boxes, getting shipments ready. As you
were briefed, it just looks like... uniforms
for the Husk Security either the typical outfit
that the Bots wear as well as those for various
humanoids although rarely these days are still
employed by the Husk Security Force and you see
multiple arrays of different trucks being loaded
at this time and with the 17 you do specifically
see not heavy weaponry but there is some security
batons at some of these Bot sides as well as
some stun guns. All right. We're not supposed to
do a whole lot of damage. Yes. We have to be
a tangible threat, but an unsuccessful one. So
we could just shatter a skylight, do a reverse
-reverse McClane. Some may call it a full McClane.
Okay. Repel down, see the security forces, say
something memorable, and then reverse McClane
back out. Okay. We may have to Dibney Bridge.
to get out of this. Okay. Because we're not going
to be able to go down the side of the building
because they will probably come out. Okay. A
reverse-reverse McClane to a Dibni? Yes. Okay.
How many names did you all come up with? That's
not important. You'll find out. This was not
run by me. No, it didn't fit on one sheet, I'll
tell you that. And it's a living document. It
will continue to grow. Oh, boy. Would you like
to say something memorable, or both of us? You
know what, just for this one, let me take it.
Okay. And I'm going to need you to focus on getting
the second reverse McClane ready to go. Okay.
You're going to know that it's time to reverse
McClane when you hear me say, the last of us.
The last of us. Understood. Alrighty, Jackson,
what are we doing? Soup, would you care to do
the honors with the skylight? Big fist. And I
will enlarge my fist and just punch through a
skylight. No attack roll needed. That poor defenseless
class is shattered. The sound reverberates through
the warehouse where a lot of empty space. It
starts to echo throughout. And instantly you
hear boxes drop. Bots look up. Look up to the
skylight. Freeze, please. Freeze, please. I will
be in mid-sproying to kind of lower us down
as they're looking at us. Now, Jackson is currently
wearing a gunmetal Guy Fawkes mask. And as he
is hanging from Soup, he's going to look and
say, Curses! We have bad intel! All right. Well,
you may have won this time, Husk. but the Shadow
Consortium will not be foiled so easily. You
haven't heard the last of us. Last of us! And
Soup will sproing us back up through the skylight.
Oh my gosh. Give me a charisma check of your
choice at advantage and give me an athletics
check. Oh, gladly. I would love to use deception,
but this feels performative, so that's a 15.
15. Okay. And what was your athletics for? 18
athletics. Perfect timing. Like, the last of
us. The last of us. And you go shooting out into
the smoggy night sky. Amazing. And you hear the
different Bots. Just, no, we said freeze, please.
What the heck is the shadow consort? We must
report this to the Husk. And you make your way
out into the night. What's the plan? Are we doing
a rooftop escape? Are we getting back to ground
level? We are going to execute a Dibney Bridge
to traverse an alley section to get to a different
building and probably do that. Maybe three times?
Yeah, I think it's a triple Dibney. And then...
That feels right. You're triple dipping on the...
Yes, yes, you heard me correctly. And then as...
Soup stretches out he sort of Elastigirls himself
into a flat, rubbery, bouncy bridge that Jackson
is able to sprint across and then just sort of
slingshots himself, herself, back into a blob
and then Dibney, Dibney, Dibney all the way home.
This is why there is an acrobatics proficiency
for this maneuver. We're going to go ahead and
let the athletics ride for right now, but I can
understand why that comes in handy. Easily done.
You all make your way across several rooftops
before getting down to ground level and making
your way back at the truck where Fuzz and Lu
are already waiting. All right. And Lu, so when
you want to give somebody the middle finger,
all you got to do is you got to make sure you
put it up, but you need to do it with prominence.
You need to really like hold it out. Yeah. Take
that. Good. Yeah. Better. All right. Oh, there
they are. The last of us. I'll explain later.
I may have started something. So shall we? All
right. Let's go. Mission successful. Unfortunately,
the galaxy can never sleep because Simon and
Husk demands productivity at all times. So as
our successful group of four criminals makes
their way back to Grand Galactic Central. A Bot
appears. Tickets, please. Tickets, please. You
each present your tickets. You are scanned in.
Is there any sort of conversation between the
four as they head back? Any discussion about
the mission that went off relatively without
a hitch? That felt almost too easy. Yeah. Is
that bad? I don't know. Is it, Jack? I mean,
from a structural standpoint, you always want
to have a good win under your belt before you
tackle something big. And if Kessel is sending
us to get blueprints for a printer, he's got
something up his sleeve. Something that's probably
going to be bigger and more dangerous. Yeah,
you know, I've known this guy for years, and
I just sometimes wish he was direct with us.
I don't know. Is there something else going on?
Like, as direct as this. And she'll hold out
the middle finger. Oh, good. It's getting better.
Thank you. Can I try? Sure. A little stiffer.
Oh, amazing. It's about a foot tall. Yeah, we
love. That's a good stiff middle finger. Thank
you. As Soup is proudly displaying their new
appendage. Over the telecom that was previously
announcing new shows, announcing Simon Husk,
again, the 578th Simon Says competition. Breaking
news. This is Dr. Nuo Martin here presenting
to you today a break-in at the store-age facility.
Ne 'er-do-wells trying to steal Husk uniforms.
What could this mean? And only a few weeks away
from the Husk Technology Convention. Hopefully
these Ne 'er-do-wells are captured, but I'm sure
our Husk Security Forces are on the case. Tune
in to GNN, that's Galactic News Network, for
more updates. That's us. As you look out across
the different people on this train, while some
of them are trying to make themselves busy, distract
themselves either in work or in other means of
self-medicating, they're all having this similar
look behind their eyes, this deadness, this...
Loss of hope that you only recognize too well
before you found each other and found a way to
strike back. It's a bit of a somber ride, the
jubilation of a successful job, realizing, though,
that you haven't had much impact yet. But you
make your way to Home Base. It's an old, abandoned
space station. Inside is a hodgepodge of... different
trophies from jobs you've completed, some materials
yet to be distributed to different soup kitchens
and other things like that, funds that Kessel
has said he'll be trying to donate as soon as
he can to those in need, and as well as just
different equipment and other things you all
use on your unpleasant activities. As you make
your way in, it's a familiar sound of wrenches
turning, hammers metal clanging. Is that you
all? Hello. We're back. That's good to hear.
You didn't get caught. Were you successful? We
did get caught. We were supposed to, correct?
You got spotted. You didn't get caught. Yeah.
Do you have what you came to get? Lu, it's on
your camera. Can I keep the camera? Yeah, sure.
I don't need it, I guess. I just need to download
those documents. So was it the actual machine
or did you get the blueprints? We got the blueprints.
Oh, kids, you are fantastic. All right. Let
me pull these down and then I'll get started.
Jackson, how are we looking? Any traces? Were
you followed? Oh, we weren't followed and I may
have given them a little bit of a rabbit to go
chasing. Am I going to see this on GNN later?
I don't know your watching habits. Kessel, this
is the man you're all talking to. Your boss?
Your gang leader? You haven't really discussed
titles. Fuzz, you were the first one to join up
with, at that time he was already kind of an older
Bot. A man who was human at some point and started
having to turn to unfortunately cheaper medical
solutions from the Husk corporation to keep himself
going slowly more and more becoming more of a
cyborg honestly and now it's hard to tell where
the man ends and the machine begins but he's
always had a fascination with tinkering which
you two bonded over. Yeah. He's fixed me a few
times. Exactly. And he was so intrigued by your
uniqueness and his appreciation for older technology.
All right, old. Sorry. Well, Fuzz, how old are
you? I'm 1,043, all right? Yeah, I guess it's
kind of old for a toy. Yeah, because where do
you come from, Fuzz? I come from Earth. And all
you know it. I talk about it all the time. The
good old days back in the Milky Way galaxy. And
that is what Kessel really clung to, the Milky
Way galaxy. There are rumors, legends even, that
if you could just make it out there, that's freedom.
The galaxy that the Husk Corporation left behind,
where there's actual governments who make the
rules, not a galactic corporation. That was a
dream you two shared when you first started running
together. Yeah. It seems with every year that
passes, it's harder and harder to actually get
done, though. It's been 15 long years you've
been at this. Minor successes here and there,
but fortunately no big impacts. But Kessel seems
happier. I go up to Kessel. You look happy. Well,
it's hard not to be happy about a job well done.
Good job, Fuzz. All right. Well, with this, what's
next? Let me show you. And so he had stepped
away, this older man, a skull that's almost completely
metal. The face is still that of a pristine human
face, but you know that's been plastered on after
the fact. It's supposed to mirror what he looked
like when he was younger. He's typing away on
a little data pad and shows you his plan. It's
a mock-up of an invitation. An invitation to
where? And as you say that, you read it. Husk
Technology Convention Contributor Pass. Oh. All
right. I see where this is going. Yeah? You reading
my mind, Fuzz? We've been together that long,
huh? No, well, if we can forge this, get in,
then it should be... What are we going to do
there? Just steal the information? Well, that's
the... Hang on. Let's get everybody together
for this one. Jackson, you change your face yet?
Yes, it doesn't take that long. I also thought
I would get comfortable. And Jackson comes out
with his Home Base hangout face on, which is
just a... Why does it rhyme? No. It is just an
almost featureless chrome faceplate, only with
slight contours of where human features would
be. He has also thrown on a bit of a somewhat...
beaten up smoking jacket and has got a book under
one arm. All right. Soup, Lu, do you mind joining
us over here real quick? Got a little presentation
for you all. Hello. Of course not, boss. I've
met you before. Hi, Soup. It's good to see you.
I just wanted you to know that. Yes, we do know
each other, Soup. What did you just call him?
Boss. The way you say it makes me a little uncomfortable.
What do you mean? Say it again. Boss. The more
you say it, I don't know how I feel about it.
All right, continue. Are we saying it incorrectly?
Maybe I am. Jackson is practically vibrating.
Boss. Without having articulated facial features,
you can't see the eyebrows knitting together
as he's like, don't make a horny joke with the unicorn. Don't
make the joke. I'm struggling with that as a
person in real life. I feel you, Jackson. I feel
you. But as you all gather around a small table,
he pushes up on the data pad and kicks up a hologram.
And now a 3D image of the invitation is now floating
in air for you all to see. All right. Now this
is what this whole job is about. You all got
me blueprints. The real deal stuff. I don't even
have guesswork anymore. I can make the printer
that prints these out with the authentication.
We're getting into that fair. They only happen
once, maybe every 10 years or so. Husk Corporation
finally has something they want to show off.
And this year, they're showing off what we're
going to take. What's that? They're showing off
a portable version of their faster than light
drive. Meant to be used- Faster than light? Light
is what you are, Lu. Yes, that's fast. This
is a scaled down version of what let the Husk
Corporation into this galaxy. Let them have free
reign of it. They're trying to push out this.
Their whole plan is to give it to the security
forces. They can travel between the different
systems on a blink. We're taking that ship. That's
our ticket. We can go to the Milky Way. We can
go where the Husk Corporation isn't. Or we stay
here. We can outrun that bastard now. Boss, is
this the only one of its kind? Right now, this
is the prototype. They're showing off. So if
we take it, we take any sort of progress they've
made on it so far, they would have to rebuild
it. But the plans are probably somewhere. And
that's the other thing. We get the prototype.
We can also get that information out. Somebody
could reverse engineer this. This doesn't have
to be something that they hold on to with their
greedy claws like they did the original technology.
We could make this public. Or we use it for our
benefit. But that's for us to decide after the
fact. Like I said, possibilities are endless
here. Alright, but what is the security on this
thing gonna be? I assume the convention has...
Well, that's the toughest part. Like I said,
it happens once every ten years and it's invitation
only. It's on Husk's... private space station.
Now i don't have any intel this time around I
don't know what the facility's gonna be like
I don't know what the security is gonna look
like but on the other hand it's invitation only
so hopefully if you get scanned in they're not
gonna be looking at you that closely and if you
did the job correctly i think what they might
be thinking is if anybody's sneaking in they're
sneaking in as Husk security trying to use uniforms
that were stolen oh that might be a problem i
don't I think we actually got any uniforms. Oh,
no, you were supposed to fail. I had somebody
else do it successfully. Oh. Multiple targets
at the same time. Did we actually steal the uniforms?
I mean, not you four. Oh, another team. Oh, There's
actually just one individual that I haven't had
the chance to introduce you all yet, but you'll
be participating on this job as well. Okay. Who
is he? He goes by Fixer. Don't know his real
name. Real high-tech guy. But, I mean, he's
the real deal. He knocked out the security Bots
like it was nothing. Got in, got out, got us
five uniforms. But we're not going to use them.
That's the trick; get Husk into looking out for them
specifically and not at the inventors coming
to the convention. Why didn't Fuzz do it? Well,
I needed you all. You all operate good as a team.
That's why you were able to do sort of two targets
at once. Yeah, and it's fine. I didn't need to
do that. I appreciate... I'm not sensitive about
it. I know I'm smart enough to do whatever this
TAIL HAIR over here asks me to do. I know I can do
it. Okay. Fuzz, you want to give me a persuasion
or deception check? Oh, that is a 13. Total?
Yep. Fuzz, I've known you long enough. Stop blustering,
all right? It wasn't anything personal. personal,
and it was fine, whatever. I just needed to see...
I love your passion. I'm... What was that? Sometimes
Fuzz is a lion, not a unicorn. Alright, alright,
alright. Everybody, break it up. You're gonna
make me bust my horn. Hold up. I don't think
that's a registered phrase. Do we need to put
that in the After Dark special? Can we air that?
Oh, that's getting aired. I'm sorry. I just need
to put this guy through the ringer, see if he
was up to snuff, and if he could be trusted.
He pulled it off. He's got the skills. The reason
being, y'all are my best infiltrators. You know
how to get in, get out of things. Fuzz, you know
how hard it was back when you and I first met
up. You all have such unique skills and work
so well as a team, but this is it. Fuzz, this
is everything we worked for these last 15 years.
So I just want to call in a little bit of extra
help. No different than when we brought on Soup
or Lu or Jackson. My question, though, is, is
Husk going to be at the presentation? From what
I understand, he does always make appearances
there, yeah. All right, I'm in. Also, wait, Jackson,
did you give us an evil name or something? Yes,
it was the Shadow Conspiracy. Oh, that's right.
Something like that. Oh, Shadows. The Shadow
Consortium. Oh, that's right. Is that what we
are going to go with? No, we're not going to
go with that. Oh, that's right. They're going
to be looking for someone. or a group that goes
by the nom de guerre of the Shadow Consortium,
and they will waste their effort in trying to
track down that foolishness. Right, and they'll
never catch the Quio. We're going back to the
Quio? We did not have to bring that one back.
All right, no, Jackson, that makes sense. Okay,
yeah, no, I'm in. I'm in. This sounds good. We
got to put a stop to something. Jackson? I mean,
if we're going to do something, let's do something
with a little bit of flair and panache, shall
we? Ooh, I like that. I like that, too. Now,
there are some logistical questions that we might
need to start considering. For example, how long
does this trade show go on for? So it's an all
-day affair from my understanding. Guests can
start arriving the night before. It's especially
expected from my understanding for those presenting
to set up whatever booth or sorts that they're
going to be presenting on. Speaking of which,
what you have here, I have the plate so I can
mimic an inventor's pass. We're going to have
to have something we can present. All right.
Yeah, we got to come up with something to invent.
I can invent something. I don't... But hear me
out. I know you're not one for... Be in the center
of attention all the time. But you are a miracle
in terms of Bot technology. You are our invention.
We made you? Oh, I knew this. I was trying to
move past it. I knew this was exactly where it
was going to go. You're going to put me front
and center. I mean, just, all right. In terms
of what would get you invited. I think a toy
from the Milky Way, having gained full sentience
from before artificial intelligence was fully
developed, that's quite the invention to show
off. Or we could make maybe like a really special
chair. LAY IT ON ME. He's right. Kessel's right.
I would draw attention anyway. It makes the most
sense. I'll just play toy. Play toy. All right.
Any disagreements? Better ideas? This is a collaborative
approach here. We're only going to get one shot
at this. What happens if Husk sees me, though?
If he's there? Oh, that's right. You were his
toy. Husk, look, I know we have to have this
talk every now and then. This is a different
Husk, Fuzz. Yeah, whatever. This is his great
-great -great -great -grandkid or something like
that. That POWER SPARKLER has to stop procreating.
We all wish that. All right. So that's the general
idea. Now, we got some time, at least from the
news cycle. It sounds like this convention is
supposed to be taking place in a couple weeks.
Gives us time. We can get some more specialized
equipment, discuss operations, come up with better
plans if we need to. Potentially meet Fixer?
Yes. I've been a little hesitant to tell him
exactly where we're located, just in case. But
he seems to have proved himself, so if y 'all
are comfortable with it. Gonna have him come
to Home Base. A party? Party of sorts. I mean,
you'll see it when you meet him. He's eccentric,
so to speak. I think that won't go unappreciated
here. All right. Yeah. Invite him over. We'll
have a dinner party. Okay. A little Saturday
Night Fever. Are we doing that? That move is
really special. For a party. Okay. Is this? Hang
on. Y'all are talking about this like you've
rehearsed. What is this Saturday Night Fever?
It's a field thing. Don't worry about it. It's
a special move. Kessel at one point will excuse
himself. He does need to actually start building
that printer, making sure it's going to pass
whatever security systems that Husk puts together
to scan those passes. Will leave you all to
ponder what potential equipment or other plans
you want to have in place just in case. it's
again it's a few weeks away is there anything
in the meantime you all would like to do? Well
Fuzz would uh first of all try and do some research
into this Fixer guy because he doesn't SPARKLE trust
him um and then he would probably have the moment
of realization being like well if I'm gonna be
a SPARKLE invention I gotta look the part. I gotta
look newer. Probably try and do some self-refurbishment.
I didn't want to say it, Lieutenant, but you
are looking fair to good. We're going to need
you at least near mint. All right. Well, you
do- Do you want to smell like mint? Not what
I meant, Soup. Not actually what I meant. Jackson,
you're good at your disguises. You want to paint
me? Art. Wow. Okay, I know the audience can't
see Bo. The look she gets whenever she's about
to deliver a line and she's staring directly
at Daniel. There's so much tension in front of
me right now. Between the light person and an
11-inch toy, it's a lot to handle. But is that
something that you feel like you could do? I
mean, I could give you a quick once-over and
try to repair some scuffs. Soup, Lu, is there anything
in particular you would all like to do during
some downtime? Well, I think we can certainly
set up for the party. Yes! Soup will do some
cooking, and Soup will make his specialty, grilled
cheese. So Soup will put that together, and he'll
try to think of something to serve it with. Nothing
comes to mind. So just grilled cheese. But also,
Soup will make very certain that they're doing
really good stretches and physically training.
So that way, if we need to, dare I say, quadruple
Dibney, then I am able to if we need to. So I
will make sure I am very fit for this job. All
righty. With that, let's get some rolls going.
Fuzz, for looking into Fixer, go ahead and give
me an investigation check. Unfortunately, you
are making this with disadvantage. Somebody who's
already going by a pseudonym, I try not to leave
a mark. That is a investigation. That's a 17.
17. Pretty good. What you're able to find is
an entity. Nobody's quite sure of their identity,
but names have been going around galactic message
boards of an anonymous hacker known as Fixer.
They never, at least for the most part, don't
do physical crimes. It's hacking into the Husk
systems, causing things to malfunction, and then
leaving a calling card behind that says, you
got Fixed Husk. All right. Okay, cool. What's
your passive insight? Passive insight is 12.
12? Something strikes you as a bit odd. Kessel
did say he sent this person on a one-man job
to steal some uniforms. It's a bit... out of
the norm for that pattern you just discovered.
All right. I'll ponder this. And then for the
painting party, Jackson, go ahead and give me
three disguise kit checks. 13 and 18 and a 15.
Cool. Pretty good. Daniel, if you wouldn't mind,
Kessel and you have recovered some old footage
from the Milky Way of where your toy line comes
from? Yeah. In the videos you'll see, they were
played on things called VHSs. It comes from the
planet Earth, from a state called California.
It was mass produced as a toy in the 1990s for
a show. So Fuzz was a character on a cartoon,
a Saturday morning cartoon called Planetary Pony
Patrol. That's amazing. And he was a mass produced
toy. Super hard to get. People were waiting in
lines at stores selling out. I was very famous.
All right. And so you see that all in the videos,
all the videos you're watching, Jackson, people
are saying how much they love Fuzz. And I point
out. Make sure to point out each one. That he
specifically says out loud. I was very famous
as you're painting the stars and the hearts and
the smiley faces onto him. You're able to fix
up the scuffed up tail and things like that with
some thread that kind of tries to mimic the toy
hair that used to be there. Honestly, it's become
more thread-like than the old toy hair used
to be after all these years. But with those rolls,
he's looking pretty good. He's not mint fresh
out of the box. but definitely looks like it's
a newer Bot. Maybe has been through some test
runs, but definitely not battle-hardened like
the Lieutenant was previously. Jack, that is
impressive work. Thank you, Lu. And then, Lu,
what specifically were you trying to do to prepare
for this party, this... Was it Saturday Night
Fever or is that something else? Oh, yeah. We're
just practicing Saturday Night Fever. Am I allowed
to know what that means or am I going to find
out? No. That's what I thought. You can roll
just for yourself to know how well that went.
I won't know. I'm going to go for the expediency
with which I accomplish my part. We're going
to call this the luck check. So just do the flat
D20. 14. 13. 13? This will be on you both. Whatever
this happens. Next time you use it, if I say
there's a roll involved, you have advantage.
Okay. Keep me honest. Oh, this fever will happen
on Saturday? I'm so excited. You have no idea
what you just did. Hey, if I screwed myself over,
that's how the game works, baby. All righty.
It's about a week after the successful job of
stealing the blueprints. Kessel's making good
progress on getting the printer up and running.
Take a little bit longer. He needs to make sure
it's precise so that way it'll be read correctly.
But Fixer arrives. This looks like somebody in
Jackson you can appreciate, judge. I'll let you
choose the emotion, but you understand the effect
here. This looks like somebody who heard stories
about what a super cool hacker might be. They're
wearing like a brown. leatherish looking coat
that like covers the face and keeps it in shadow
their hands are like enrobed in front of them
so you can't see exactly what they're doing and
he kind of slinks forward shiftly looking side
to side. Hello, it's nice to meet you. Hello. I'm
Fixer. I'm Soup. And I'm Lu. Soup. Lu. I'm disappointed.
What in the name of Discount Gibson are you trying
to accomplish with that look? That's a very long
name that I won't remember. I'm going to call
you Diss. All right. Oh, my God. It talks. My
name is Fuzz. All right. Lieutenant to you. Lieutenant
Fuzz Sparkleday. Are you part of the security
forces? Why do you have a rank? I'll show you SPARKLE
Security forces. My TAIL HAIR. Oh, that
was really cute, actually. Do it again. I am.
Saturday Night Fever. Okay. You're not supposed
to say it. I got nervous. Soup runs over and hugs
the entirety of Tiny Lu and then hoists us up
to hang from the ceiling. And Lu gets tinier
and tinier and tinier until they burst into Supernova
and shining through Soup's teal and blue and
sea green, there are colorful lights that go
all over the place like a disco ball. And probably
accidentally, potentially blind our new friend.
Yeah, I know that ability. I don't think there's
any rolls associated with supernova. However,
can you roll me an athletics or acrobatics, your
choice of connecting to the ceiling? Sure, you
gave me advantage. I did. And technically, there'd
be a saving throw. Okay, everybody has disadvantage
on the saving throw against this right now. 26.
Yeah, you expertly launch yourself up. It's the
perfect spin. I've been working out. Somewhere,
someone is singing some Bee Gees to themselves.
Oh, my gosh. Fixer fails, and that's a nat one
for Kessel. Fuzz, how are we looking on those
saving throws? I got a 19. This is dex, right?
Yep. 10. What do we need, Lu? So it's DC 15.
15. Yeah. Kessel and Fixer both fail. Fuzz made
it. And yeah, Jackson failed. So we're blinded.
So hang on. How much damage was that just now?
11 points of damage. Okay. Yeah. Kessel not looking
great. Like he looked up to see how the introductions
were going. He just. Oh, God. Damn it. And Fixer.
Oh, no. The light it burns. His voice completely changed.
I don't think they're wearing the glasses. Oh,
no. Oh, Saturday Fever end. Soup will drop down
and we'll start running over to the people reeling.
So Jackson, Fixer and Kessel. And we'll use their
Soup's Good for You ability, which is essentially
like lay on hands. And soup is going to start
healing everyone by just sort of spreading the
aloe vera gel over their eyes. And then just
letting it kind of work a bit of magic for a
second. Kessel doesn't react. He's used to that.
But as soon as you try to reach up to Fixer,
who's still trying to hide his face, like there's
a lurch back. Oh, I apologize. Can I heal your
eyes? And you see him trying to struggle. No,
I'm fine. The Fixer requires no assistance. It
is okay to ask for help. I learned that very
much. And it seems like you are in pain, potentially
because you are fragile. And hesitantly, he will
remove the hood. And what you see is, at your
best guess, a 15-year old human boy. No. Has
like the pencil facial hair where he should have
started shaving maybe three months ago, but hasn't
quite learned how to do it. Oh dear. I've just
accidentally attacked a spark. Oh, here you go.
Just inhale deeply and smell what I hear is pleasant.
It's really minty. Minty! And I'll heal for 11
points of damage. Thank you. Thank you. You're
welcome. Come here, Jackson. That's very effective.
You're welcome. Wait, so you're a kid. No, I'm
the Fixer. All right, cut this FUN. I don't
have scissors. Okay. Kessel, where'd you find
this kid? Look, I'll use kid a lot. I didn't
know it was a kid, kid. All right. What are you
doing? Kid, like, you're pulling off all this
shit on the Husk Corporation. I thought they
would have dropped by now, at least. I'm really
good at what I do, though. I fix things. Is that
how you really talk? The Fixer talks like this.
Oh, dear. I think I kind of forgot the voice.
Kessel, I'm concerned. I am a bit too, but I
think this just reinforces what I was originally
planning. Apologies, I should have done some
better research on the front end, but he's surprisingly
good at what he does. And it's because of that
I wasn't able to look into him that much. Yeah,
I mean, I did do my own research into him and
I couldn't find that much on him either. How
did you find him if you cannot find information
about him? To truth be told, it was more of a
Jackson situation. He kind of found me. Oh. Yeah.
Might have gotten into my system, looked up some
of the browser history, left an email. Oh, no.
Fuzz, your browser history. All right. I don't
want to have this conversation again. But, again,
the Husks haven't even been able to find out
about us. So the fact that this kid was able
to was impressive. And so I thought I'd give
him a trial run and he passed with flying colors.
And the plan was, honestly, he and I were going
to stay the outside, kind of be the man in the
van, so to speak. All right. So providing remote
support. I think that's still fine. Okay. Yes,
I think if this spark stays with you, that's the
best idea. And I wouldn't be much use to y 'all
in there anymore. I've still got the bad leg.
Can't move that fast. I can do some good thinking
every now and again. But honestly, you kids are
the ones running the show now. I'll just point
you in the right direction and send you off.
It lands differently now when you call us kids.
You know, it does. It really does. But it's also
not far from the truth. We care about each other.
I care about you all, at least, that much I know.
I care about everyone here. Thank you, Soup. You're
welcome. Look, all right. You, Fixer. That's
your name? Yes. All right. Is there something
else we should call you? That's really anything
anybody calls me anymore. Would you prefer us
to call you something else? No, I chose Fixer,
so I like it. All right. Oh, okay. I chose Soup,
too. Yeah, having choices is good. Certainly.
Yeah. We're going to do a good job. Yeah. It's
nice to work with you. And Soup will stick out
their hand. Awkwardly, the hand finally erupts
from the sleeve and it's a tiny hand that just
kind of gets lost in the soup. Good. We're teammates
now and friends. We're going to do great. We're
going to steal a ship. I love your enthusiasm.
Thank you. All right. If you're going to join
us, there are a few ground rules. All right.
Number one, you refer to me as the Lieutenant.
All right. All right. He gives like an awkward
salute. You got some points there. I like that
one. Number two, swear as much as you can. Are
sparks supposed to swear? No, but I don't know.
I think it would be funny to see him swear. Look,
all I know is I'm supposed to do some disruption.
I know the radio waves that the bot systems use.
I'll disrupt a little bit. Give some false commands
if needed. I hope what I am isn't going to prevent
you all from looking at me seriously. I'm good
at what I do, I promise. All right. Kessel, how
will we... I mean, is there going to be some
sort of way to communicate with you while we're
inside? That's actually something that Fixer's
put together. Fixer, I think you brought something
along to this party that we put together? Soup
pulls out just one little party popper. uh right
right right um and he will um run back out and
then come back in with a box and will open it
up and you all see what looks like mini receivers
that are very small. So this is going to be a
little awkward for the globin but would just
put it in somewhere and it'll kind of swim it
is resistant I've tested it with many different
Globin biologies it'll reverberate. For the rest
of you put it next to whatever part of you hears,
and it'll vibrate that function and mimic the
sound waves. And then this one goes on wherever
the sound comes out of you, and it'll communicate
with each other. You can communicate, best estimate
is about a mile. All right. Question, when Soup
puts it on and when Lu puts it on, is it seen?
It is so minuscule. That really it looks like
one of a freckle for Soup or it looks like just
could be just another artifact in your star system
that your make up represents. Great. So and then
for Jackson, for instance, it looks like just
like the tiniest little thing. Maybe on just
a human, it might look a little out of place.
But on Jackson, it just looks like another piece
of tech. Yeah. Tech. And again, I'm talking about
less than a thumb size. All right. Well. Is there
anything else we need to focus on in the next
however long we have until this convention? Our
target? How do you prove it? How do you show
this off? That's true. It's not like they could
just fly it out of there as proof. Well, I guess
they could fly it out and then fly back. What
if we are the ones to show it off and then never
come back? I think that's a great plan. I was
thinking they will need a pilot. Oh. That's right.
I think I see what you're trying to get there,
Jackson. Now that's an idea. If we can find out
who that real pilot is, we can... Kill them.
Make sure that they don't show up for their shift.
Okay. We might not have to go that far. Okay.
Just let me know. I have another problem. Not
a problem, just a question. So when we are showing
you off as our invention, are you... to be like
the original toy or like you are now? I think
the idea is that maybe I'm a little less developed
than I am now. Yeah, I mean, the idea is a toy
is nothing special, but a fully sentient toy
using old tech from the Milky Way? Now that's
something fancy. And honestly, Bots like me and
Jackson we're becoming more of a norm, but we
started off as people. who had free thinking,
and then we just added mechanical parts. Fuzz
is unique in the fact that he started off mechanical
and somehow gained the free thinking part. Oh,
I have an idea. Go ahead, Soup. So Jackson taught
me that it's important to have your story straight.
So how did we fake make the Lieutenant? Actually,
that was something I was going to ask either
Fuzz or Fixer here. They're the tech heads. Come
up with a story about maybe... Not too dissimilar
from your actual story there, Fuzz. An experiment
with early artificial intelligence that rapidly
increased in its capacity into a free-thinking
individual. Yeah, I think that's it. People will
buy it. Especially Husk. It's happened before.
They're going to buy you? They will believe that
story. Sorry, I shouldn't have said they will
buy it. Okay, I would like you to not be sold.
So that's that. Maybe, um... We think about for
those attending, Lu, Jackson, Soup. Maybe get
yourself something fancy to wear. That might
be the disguise of the hour. Or maybe something
that looks smart, like intelligent looking. Maybe
lab coats, I don't know. Wear? I mean, you can
go shopping. No, I'm just confused. Neither Soup
nor I wear... Sorry, sorry. That's really messed
up of me. I'm thinking from a human's point of
view. Jackson, why don't you get something nice
to wear for the event? I will make my cape
longer. Oh, great. We love a long cape. Should
I accentuate my loincloth? I think that's what
I was pointing to. Maybe a loincloth is not just
proper attire. Loinpants? Pants, blouse, shirt,
whatever you're feeling. Kessel estimates it'll
take maybe another week, week and a half before
he finishes the machine and gets invitations
printed for you all. You have that time to secure
what you need. We'll go ahead and call this episode
here as we prepare for what could be the last
job. Retirement. Sweet retirement. Nothing's
going wrong. I gotta get there. See you next
time. Bye. Could our heroes really be preparing
for their last job? Who exactly is this Fixer?
Precisely how many plan names are there? Is
Fuzz really the original Simon Husk's toy? What
will I reveal next time on Grand Theft Galactic?
Thank you for listening to Grand Theft Galactic.
With Daniel Begin as Lieutenant Fuzz Sparkleday.
Evan Kelly as Jackson. Bo Powell as Lumen. Megan
Roy as Soup, and Matt's the Last as the Game
Master. Produced by Evan Kelly, Trope Warden,
Evan Kelly. Bo here. Thanks for listening.
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