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Scandals and Scavengers. A Post-Apocalyptic
Regency Romance. Episode 14. Duels and Denouements.
Or the ending of a chapter. Last time on Scandals
and Scavengers, the heat really turned up a notch
during the second half of the Masquerade Ball.
After the Queen's non-appearance, Samuel addressed
the crowd, saying that the Queen must be mingling
incognito amongst them. Mary put two and two
together and realized that the strange owl-masked
woman must have been her. Beadere snuck up
on Salt as he watched Oscar and Fiona, and Zoe
and Lefroy, head off in opposite directions.
They were too far away to do anything when Zoe
screamed and ran out of a hedge, followed by
Lefroy. Lefroy was confused as dark rumors started
to circulate about his behavior towards Zoe.
As Beadere stalked Zoe, Salt presented a stony
cheek for Oscar to slap. They would fight at
dawn in the Honor Dome! When the rumors about
Lefroy reached Mary, Edgewater, and Ruby, the
three decided to spread a contrary rumor about
Zoe to help preserve Lefroy's innocence. Revealing
her secret identity to the other two, Mary transformed
into Madame Belladonna and called attention to
Zoe's suspicious behavior while Ruby used her
reputation for guilelessness to spread the new
story. Reassembling, the three women then discussed
Ruby's suspicions about Ruben and how he always
seemed to pop up when she was talking about him.
Ruben appeared at that very moment, but the three
women avoided him by saying that Samuel was waiting
for them. As they headed towards Samuel, the
crowd opened up to reveal Gladstone on one knee
in the center of the dance floor. But when he
proposed, Nigella responded that she wouldn't
marry him if he was the last man on Earth. Furious
about the way she treated her brother, Edgewater
landed a slap across Nigella's cheek and delivered
a challenge to meet in the Honor Dome. Nigella
accepted, but revealed that she had only done
to Gladstone what Edgewater had done to her sister,
Elena. Moments later, Mary was startled to find
Horatio Wolfe cowering in a cloud of purple magic
on the dance floor. As both Edison and Connor
headed towards him, Mary, as Belladonna, teleported
into the cloud and desperately tried to con her
way through getting some information. In the
end, the situation mostly diffused, Mary only
came to learn that Horatio had uncontrolled abilities
and no clue where they came from. But the hits
kept coming! Looking for Edgewater, Samuel ran
into the woman in the owl mask who, with proper
dramatic effect, revealed herself to be Queen
Mara. With the queen's leave, Samuel called Edgewater
up to the dais and proposed. But her resounding
yes was interrupted by Gammabloom, who explained
that as Samuel's marriage certificate was never
found, he had no right to the title and could
not marry a member of the ton. As Salt approached
with certificate in hand, Samuel revealed that
Henry never trusted Gammabloom and instead gave
the marriage certificate to a true friend for
safekeeping. After a bit of goading, Gammabloom
slapped Samuel and their duel was set. Ruby,
now looking for someone of her own to slap, came
upon Ruben and when he tried to kiss her, she
secured her own date with the Honor Dome. And
now, it's time for the Honor Dome, bitches! The
sun rises. There is blood to be spilled. It is
that time. The time to unlock the Honor Dome!
Now, of course, Regency Society will duel at
dawn. I mean, it was a late night. Everybody's
a little tired. Some people are hungover. 10:
30. 10:30 feels good. Dawn feels aggressive.
8 a .m. would be nuts. Crazy, crazy talk. But
at 10:30, you are due at the Honor Dome. The
Honor Dome stands in a place of pride at the
northern edge of the Great Park. It is a steel
rebar geodesic dome. that is 100 feet in diameter.
There is one entrance with an external lock.
Fucking awesome. Wow. So sick. Once you go in,
you are expected to settle your grievance, and
then you'll be allowed to leave. Frequently,
these duels are to the death. There is the honor
keeper, Aristotle Flynn. He is a tall man, firbolg.
He wears a black hooded cape. He leans on a yield
sign. That's very good. You all approach the
Honor Dome. Aristotle greets you. Well, hey there.
Wow, we're very busy this morning. Look at that.
Wow, I'm actually sort of, I got a lot to do
today. Did not think that this was going to be
a thing. So if it is amenable to everybody, we
can do just one big old group throwdown because
it seems like, you know, we got an even number
of contestants here. Would that be amenable to
everyone? To settle this as a group? Yeah, Salt
looks at the group says, I'd be honored, and looks
at the rest of you. Absolutely. Oh, hell yeah.
Absolutely. Okay, any objections over on this
side? Desmond looks just, I don't think we're
going to have any issues. This should be dealt
with swiftly. Yeah, I don't have anybody waiting
for me that needs my care at home, so I'm fine
to get everything taken care of however you all
want to. As he looks at Ruby, Salt's head just
slides into frame and meets his gaze. No, I'm
fine with having a bit of a group throwdown.
That's fine unless you're afraid. He stands at
his full seven and two feet tall and goes, Not
at all, Mr. Henson. And then Nigella, I don't
know these assholes, but honestly, if this is
going to be the most expeditious way to get this
done, let's just get it done. I've already gotten
my win. Okay, so fantastic. What are we looking
for? Are we looking for first blood? Are we looking
for tap out? And Desmond just goes, oh, no, I
believe that the infractions of honor would require
to the death. Don't you all agree? I believe
to the death would be appropriate. Seems a little
much to be doing kind of blanket statement across
all infringements. Ruby's mask flashes across
her face and she goes, to the death sounds great.
Excuse me, your honor keeper. My honor keeper?
I'm not sure how to refer. Oh, Artie is fine.
Oh, great. So, Artie, Miss Razorstorm here, I
do not wish to kill her. I wish to just remind
her that there is a difference between someone
making an honest mistake trying to assist someone
and another person going after someone intentionally
to destroy him. I think a good slap upside the
head would be good. Yeah, we don't really have
rules for good slap upside the head. What were
the levels again? First blood. First blood to
the death or mercy. Yeah, pretty much. Honor
keeper, I think I agree with Miss Clarence. The
one who besmirched my honor is naming a champion
and I wouldn't want to end a man's life because
he chose to be in bad company. Uh, actually,
Mr. Drake, I believe I will fight on my own merit.
Even then, death seems too easy of an escape
for you. I want you to live with the shame. Tap
out, you said? I think I can make this man yield.
Very cocky for an untrained savage. Very presumptuous
for a man who couldn't get past lieutenant. Now,
Hey, come on. Some of us. We have other interests.
So I'm confused. We got two that seem to want
to go to tap out and one that is going to go
to the death. Oh, no, I'm fine to do whatever
I guess. Tap out is fine. Ruben, are you okay
with that tap out? I mean, would have been more
fun in another context, but sure. I don't think
you should be allowed to tap anything. Don't
be weird, Ruben. We're all very familiar all
of a sudden. Yeah. It's the Honor Dome, bitch.
Madam Belladonna knows everyone and everything.
What exactly are you doing here? I'm a couple
people's second. All right, fine. Let's just get
this over with. Not how, in fact, I had planned
on this going, but this is going to change some
shit. All right. Let's get this party started.
Each team is going to start at one end of the
dome, sort of opposite sides. Are there spectators?
Oh, there are a lot of people watching. Fuck,
yes. Any outside interference will result in
an automatic disqualification. Right, right,
right. And when you say... Is it like there's
a ledge and then there's audience and then there's
a dome above it? Or what does this space actually
look like? This is a tight geodesic dome that
is all just rebar and welded joints. It is a
hemisphere. People watching, climb the sides.
Whoa. It is. It's like a jungle gym at the playground,
but big. Yeah. But for murder. Wow, yeah. That's
the same as playground. There are quite a few
people who are very interested in this because
it was very loud and very public last night.
And this is the first use of the Honor Dome this
season. There have been multiple seasons where
the Honor Dome has not been called upon. To have
four challenges in one night is remarkable. It's
very messy. It is very messy. There's rules.
Do they have merch at the Honor Dome? No. They're
refreshments, of course. There's lemonade and
tea and some little crumbly cookies. But no t
-shirts. Merch would be tacky. In general, the
higher the rank, the lower you are in the dome.
Okay. Makes sense. You don't have to climb quite
so high. Yeah. And there is sort of a, it looks
like a couple of different hockey rinks and various
banks and things were all sort of scavenged.
So there is like a protective sheet. of like
Lexan that goes uh sort of patchwork around the
lowest tier so the nobles don't have to worry
about any errant shots. Cool. I mean people higher
up, that's you know you you want to watch
somebody beat the shit out of somebody else you
roll the dice and take your chances um but the
nobles get to watch from you know safety. Okay, so
you will be separated to opposite sides of the
dome, so you'll be approximately 100 feet apart.
Any weapons or abilities are usable in here.
Thank God we brought Mary. Feel free. I'll keep
you all safe. Mary cannot be in here. What? Oh,
right. I'm not in here. One of you has not tapped
out and said, I am unable to continue with the
duel, so the second is to observe. You will be
watching for infractions from the other side.
So I am taking Belladonna's form currently. Yes.
So I'm staying on one side as the second. I can't
do any magic or interfere in any way until I'm
tapped in, basically, is what you're saying.
Well, the thing is, if you're tapped in, that
means they've tapped out and lost. Okay. So just
straight vengeance at that point. If they tap
out and lose and you decide to start something,
that's a whole new breach of honor. It's like
a derivatives market of duels and honor. You're
now committing a new protocol breach by attacking
someone right after their duel. But if I see
something underhanded, I can speak up. If you
see something underhanded, you need to point
it out to... the honor keeper and you need to
you can't take action to be like ah I got them
unless it has been recognized inside the dome.
If you see someone trying to do something surreptitious
outside the dome, fuck them up. Yes It is very
much the professional wrestling managers can
do whatever they want to the other manager outside
the ring. It doesn't matter as long as they don't
get in the ring and do something. But just don't
get caught in the ring. It does have a maximum
ceiling of 50 feet at the very center. And it
does get smaller from there. You are all allowed
to climb it with an athletics check if you decide
you want to go vertical. Mm -hmm. As we're kind
of getting ready, is the queen in attendance?
Not that you can see. Okay, cool. But she is
sneaky. That's true. Is there any preparation
you want to make? What are we all bringing in
weapon-wise? I think just for flavor, he's still
kind of participating with monk. Salt walks in.
He has his, as he kind of gets into the dome
and is officially in the space, he undoes his
coveralls and kind of ties them around his waist.
Stands as full as you see the full. lightning
scar he has his hands wrapped he has one with
that like caution police tape and his right hand
his dominant hand is wrapped in his bride or
die uh veteran sash and then he pulls out two
pairs of brass knuckles that are engraved on
left it says pride and on right it says prejudice.
Oh my god! I want those. Circling his arm and kind
of stretching out- Can we have those as merch?
Can we sell brass knuckles? We... very much no.
As you tie your coverall around your waist, exposing
your scarred torso, you hear from back on your
side, not bad. Yeah, he turns around to Sweetly,
who I imagine is there with Lefroy and Fiona.
He kind of gives a reassuring nod to Lefroy and
then winks at Sweetly. Don't get ahead of yourself.
Walk out of there, and we'll talk. He claps some
dust on his hands, and he's ready to go. Okay.
I think walking up is just like nodding to you,
like that immediate respect, and then just drops
the fur vest. It was already a lot of skin. Now
there's just no top. It's just the fur kilt.
Cracks the knuckles. Yeah. And he's like. I want
to feel personal. Fists sound good today. Rock
on, dude. Do the predator handshake. As everyone's
walking in, is there anyone in particular who
would want Mary to cast Enhance Ability on them?
Will that be caught? Like before going in. If
you do it before everything kicks off. It might
wear off before we start. It has an hour duration.
Oh, nice. Sweet. And again, this is a scene thing.
So things that have a duration are going to last
for the scene. And you can definitely say that
you kind of prep them as you're like, go get
them, guys. So I will say that there aren't a
lot of them that are going to be useful. The
constitution one might be because it will give
temporary hit points. But strength and... Dex
will only really help for athletics or acrobatics
to escape grapples. Okay. So, all right. So Desmond
walks in with his sort of choppy saber thing
and a handgun. He came fully prepared to try
to kill Samuel. So he's armed as such. Oscar
just has a buckler. and a club. And the buckler
is kind of dented up, but it'll protect him a
little. Nigella is looking around at everyone
like, what the hell is going on here? And she
has... Edgewater just whips her chainsword. She
has two lengths of pipe that she's wielding like
escrima sticks. Oh, cool. But it is literally
just like a half -inch schedule 40 plumbing pipe.
One of them has a 90 -degree connector on the
top. I mean, they're not great, but it's what
she's trained with. And Ruben is entirely unarmed.
He just shrugs off his shirt and stretches and
flexes, and all of his tattoos are showing. And
he kind of stretches his... his hands and limbers
up his fingers and begins to quickly trace over
one of the tattoos. And there was a slight shimmer.
He's an ink slinger. Yeah. As he prepares. Okey
dokey. Then everybody ready. Everybody's feeling
good. All right. We're going to have a nice clean
fight and everybody's going to shake hands and
be best friends tomorrow. I don't actually believe
that's going to happen, but I mean, I can hope.
And we're all going to be better people after
this, right? Yes, sir. As I say yes, the mask
appears. I like your energy, Aristotle. Well,
thank you. All right. Let's fuck some shit up.
And let's all roll initiative. I got a natural
20 for 25. Oh, baby. My God. Get it, Ruby. Yeah.
Vengeance on your situation-ship. He literally
said, let's fuck things up. And Ruby's off. Yeah.
Like, as soon as the P closes, Ruby's gone. Her
little legs. You have to full dash just to get
to the center. Yeah, exactly. So Ruby had a 25.
Edgewater? I had a 21, so that's probably lower
than you. No, I got exactly 20. Okay. 12. I got
a 4. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. Nice.
It's because I'm trying to survey the scene first
before I act. Obviously. Well, you actually do
go before someone. I'm not saying that I had
a wide spread of initiative, but it hurt me to
look at just a little bit. Ruby, you are leading
off the Charge of the Light Brigade here. All
right. How far away is everybody? I'm sorry.
You are on opposite ends of a 100 -foot -wide
dome. Great. Great. Eldritch Blast is 120 -foot
range, so I am good. That is exceptionally true.
Yes. Literally just shoot it right at Ruben.
Yeah. And pearlescent light will appear, and
I will just shoot some fans at Ruben. Okay, fantastic.
That is an 18 to hit. That does hit. We're going
to fuck him up pretty quick. Oh, eight points
of damage. Okay, cool. Force damage, and then
I'm going to just hug the wall. Okay, cool. Edgewater.
Edgewater's going to start running. She's got
to move 60 feet. That's all she can do. All right,
cool. Mr. Salt? Yeah, he'll do the same. He runs
80 feet towards Oscar. Okay, great. Oscar is
going to run and close with you because you've
gotten in range. And he's going to take a swing
with his club. And he's a civilian, yeah? Yes,
he is. So he walks up and he sees a man he's
really only heard stories about in this context
and rolls with disadvantage because of my reputation.
He will roll with disadvantage until he hits
me. 16 to hit. 16, that's it. I had a 14 and
a 16 on the die. But he's still scared. He's
intimidated. He is shaken and he's trying something
fancy so he's not doing great. That is 7 points
of damage. I'm going to use Stone's Endurance
and reduce that by a d12. Whack. He hits you
and you're just like... He cracks his neck back
and forth a couple times. He was feeling pretty
good, and now he's really not. Really not. Okay,
cool. Nigella is going to run at Edgewater. She's
got 60, so you've got 60. She can close, but
not attack, because she can't get actually up
to you. So she's closed with you. Samuel. Samuel
will use something for the first time. There's
a reason why he took off the vest. He's going
to stretch a little bit, and I'm going to manifest
my wings. Yes. Oh, my God. Someone catch Edgewater.
She's going to faint. She's going down. You have
wings? What? Sapphire Gem Dragonborn from Fizzbins.
I have an ability for one minute. I can manifest
wings as a bonus action. Okay, cool. That feels
like I really probably should have read that.
Okay, great, cool. You manifest your wings. Is
that an action, bonus action, or reaction? Bonus action.
Great. Incredible. So I have a flying speed equal
to my walking speed, and I can hover. And it
was mostly just for looks, because he is just
dashing straight ahead, but now just flying slightly
above the ground. Okay, 60 feet straight at Desmond.
Okay, cool. Desmond is like... That's not fantastic.
And he is going to take a shot at you. Ooh, that's
an 18 on the die, sir. Definitely hits. And that
is going to be five points of piercing damage.
And I'd like you to make a con save. Ooh, absolutely.
Bastard. Oh, no. Eight. It doesn't, like, you've
hurt far worse. He winged you. No pun intended.
Then, as you're traveling, everything gets a
little swimmy. you're poisoned. Oh shit that's
shady. Yeah that's shady. Um is it the same type
of poison that might make an experienced rider
fall off their horse if they had too much of
it or... I mean, you're in the middle of a duel, tough
to say and this happens behind you so I mean
You can make whatever inference you would care
to make from that. I mean, it's not like his
family is entirely invested in creating firearms
and he's an alchemist, but we'll examine that
later. And Mary. So remind me, if I do something
like true strike, detect magic, that kind of
stuff, that's off the table, all that stuff.
Anything that affects the outcome inside the
dome. If this is something that's going to affect
you, that doesn't matter. Okay. So you understanding
things is fine. Okay. So if I were to do something
like true strike and then try to do a persuasion
check outside of the dome or anything like that.
If you try to influence anyone inside, you are
in breach of contract. Okay. Noted. If you are
going to talk to Artie? Yeah. That's fine. Okay.
But if you try to intimidate or threaten or persuade
any of the combatants, you are interfering. Can
I communicate with... any of my allies inside
the dome in a coaching manner. I mean, you can
yell, go team. That's cool. Can I yell, go team,
hit him in the feelings about his father or whatever?
Yeah, there's all kinds of yelling going on because
this is kind of exciting. I am going to go talk
to Sweetly. Oh, okay. Cool. And establish kind
of like a rapport with her in case we need to
team up. Okay, fantastic. She's with Fiona and
Lefroy. As you approach, she is shifting her
weight back and forth on the balls of her feet,
and she is cracking every single knuckle in both
hands and just cracking her neck. She is just
holding herself back. I'm going to kind of sidle
up next to her and kind of side-eye her. I have
a... I am showing up as Belladonna, but I have
a hood up. I'm going to eyeball her and say,
I can see why he likes you, and I'm going to
cast Enhance Ability on her. Oh. Which ability
are you enhancing? Strength. I'll do Strength.
Yeah, Strength will give her advantage on Strength
checks, and Constitution will give her temporary
hit points. I'll do Strength. Okay, great. She
gets ever so slightly more swole. And she is
like... There is anger. The rage is simmering
just unaccessed. And I'll say, you see anything,
you let me know. If I have time. If someone's
head doesn't have to come off. Girl, make time.
Also, Lefroy has got... Two rocks in his hand.
And he's like, that's the energy. That's the
energy. All right. And finally, we go to Ruben,
who is going to... balls. Okay. Well, that is a
14 to hit. Ruby. My AC is 15. Okay. As a blast
of fire shoots across the arena. Girl, please.
And we're back up to Ruby. I am going to, from
where I am, run up 25 feet. So the whole arena
is 60 feet or 100 feet. So I should be within
60 feet of everybody who we're fighting, correct?
If they have run up, yes, you are not going to
be within 15 feet of Ruben. 60 feet. 60 plus
25 is 85. So if he has not run up, he is still
15 feet out of that range. That's fine. Everybody
else has run up. Okay, so what I'm going to do
is my mask is going to let out a shriek. And
I am going to cast Bane. And everybody besides
Ruben on that team needs to make a charisma save
of 16. All right. That is six. So Nigella is
baned. Dude, girl is out of her element. I'm
starting to feel bad. Desmond has a plus three.
I do have to ask. Desmond's using a firearm.
Would he have moved up or would he have just
stayed in a firing position? I'm going to say
he probably moved up. How did he poison you?
With the gun. Oh, my God. Poisoned me. What the
shit? He's not a nice guy. I don't know pistol
ranges, so I didn't know. Yeah, he came to kill.
So Desmond also baned. All right, and Oscar?
Oh my god Oscar beat it. God damn Oscar of all
people is the one to make the charisma- That's
honestly my favorite. But i will say everybody
else gets the other two get like a slight like
there's a slight piece of a mask that appears
on their face yeah slightly itchy. Having to look
at it, I'm a little glad Oscar passed. Um but they
get a minus d4 on ability checks and attack
rolls and yeah That's my turn. I can't do anything
else. All right. Fantastic. Edgewater. Edgewater's
whipping that sword chain right for Nigella.
All righty. And I am going to say I am going
to need you all to let me know if and when you
decide to switch to non-lethal damage. Sure.
Oh, starting with non-lethal. Okay. Absolutely.
17. Yeah, that'll hit. She's not armored. All
right. 10 points of damage. And I'm going to
action surge. Oh dear. Nice. 20 to hit. Twisted?
Twisted 20. Okay. Twisted or natural. That's
12 points of damage. Are you just slapping her
with the blunt end? Twanging her in the cheek.
And the physics of that are just defying all
reason. I'm so good at this. Mr. Salt. Salt's
going to start off. He's going to, yeah, he finishes
kind of cracking that. He's going to take a second
and look over his opponent that he's up close
and has seen him take a swing and use the way
of the anatomist, the pressure points check.
Cool, cool. Yeah, that is his passive con save
so that you're looking for a 15. Okay. I have
a plus six because it's medicine for humanoids.
Cool. So I have a plus six to this. So nine or
higher. That's a 12. I'm going to use a luck
point. Okay. That's a 17. Great. You look him
over. You're like. Okay. I have the measure of
you now. Cool. And then he will take a swing.
Grand. That's a nat 20. Yay! You're like, boy,
that shoulder looks really easy to separate.
And so I think I can also... Oh, no. I'm going
to use the pressure point ability and spend a
ki point to add my martial arts die. So that'll
be 2d6 plus 2d4 plus my modifier. What? Yeah,
we're just going to roll it and double it. Roll
and double? Okay, so a d6 plus a d4. Doubled.
Plus modifier. Cool. Oh my gosh. That's a seven,
14, 18. I kind of look at him. I see he's got
the buckler up really high because he's just
trying to guard one side. So he's got his other
arm down really low and just wallop with a hook
across the face from the other side. And he howls
as literally his jaw drops on one side. in an
insane amount of pain as you think you may have
dislocated something. I look down at him
saying, I'll remind you, Mr. Henson, this is
a tap out. It's your call. Now he's mad. He is
going to take a bonus action and howl. Okay.
And is going to just start swinging wildly. Okay.
So he's going to take a crack at you. That is...
That's a nat 20. Tit for tat. Yep. Can you use
the luck point to make an opponent re -roll?
I believe so. You can. You're like, nope, sorry.
That's a 16. So you avoid the crit. But yeah,
you're like, nope. And he swings with the club
for... That's going to be 10 more bludgeoning.
Okay. And he's just starting to froth. Okay,
the howl didn't have an effect on... No, no,
no. It seems like he was psyching himself up.
Okay, cool, cool, cool. Nigella is just like,
Stop that. It's so frustrating. And is going
to swing at you twice. Minus a d4. You could
join our friend group. Oscar saved, nevermind.
Yeah. So the first one is going to be... I'll
minus the d4 because you insist. Okay, so there's
now a 6 on the die. And then... Okay, that's
now down to a 2 on the die. She cannot seem to
like... She's trying to get under the whipping
swords and just everything's like... Her face
is itchy and this is getting really annoying.
Yeah. And she's just embarrassing herself. Samuel.
So if Desmond moved up, can I get to him with
a single movement of 30 feet or would I need a
little bit more? Yes, you definitely can. Okay.
Fly up to him. Action. Taking a punch at disadvantage
because I'm poisoned. That nat 20 got wasted.
That was a beautiful red dragon on that die.
Nine plus seven, 16? Yeah. Okay. 12 points of
bludgeoning damage. Oh, my God. My fists do D8s.
Yeah. Jesus, they do. So beefy. Yes, they do,
Edgewater. All right. Whoa, slow down. Sorry.
And then, because I made an unarmed attack, I
will use a bonus action to make a grapple attempt.
I'm at disadvantage. Okay. It's 13. Yeah, then
the Twisted 20 gets wasted. Oh, and this is
at minus D4. It is a check, yeah. That becomes
a zero on the die. He's doing good. He's a fucking
bureaucrat. He's A, not very strong. B, baned.
And C, very surprised that you just... really
just rattled his cage with one hand. He's about
to be more surprised because I action surge after
I have him grappled, and I take a dash action
to fly half my speed straight up. Him and I are
15 feet in the air now. He's in my territory.
Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, he is. He's, uh... Okay.
Wow, that's, okay. That is something that just
occurred. So he's like, what did, oh, ah! He
reaches down towards the saber, kind of in the
weird bear hug you got him in, and passes by
the saber and reaches in for a, just a tube of
something. And he is going to unclick the tube.
And he is going to poison spray you. Just in
the face. So it's a con save. Does poison effect
saves? The poison condition? I don't believe so.
Okay. And someone, feel free to fact check me
if I'm wrong, but I don't believe it does. That
would be sort of a compounding ridiculousness.
That's true. This website says it gives you advantage
on saves. Triple advantage. It does not. 19 on
the die, plus four is 23. Okay, so you ignore
it. The wonderful thing about saver or suck cantrips.
All right, cool. So, Mary. I would like to do
a perception check on the audience around the
dome to see if there's anybody who is either
doing something shady outside of the dome or
is trying to interfere with the fight. I can
also choose if you want me to do one or the other.
Well, you're trying to visually scan a crowd
that is circling a 100 -foot -wide dome, so sure,
roll it. Emily's like, excuse you. This is what
I'm here to do! That is a dirty 20. Twisted 20.
Okay, so here's the thing. You do see something.
It has nothing to do with the fight. There is
a quiet argument occurring between Connor and
Edison. They don't seem to have any intention
of interfering in the fight, but they are using
the cover of this fight to have something out.
And can I see one of their mouths to lip read?
I am going to say they are across the dome from
you. So, like, you can see something happening.
I'll let you make a perception check. To try.
Okay. Like, depending on how good you get, you'll
get a few words. Again, six second rounds, so
you're not getting a full conversation. That's
nine plus nine, 18. You can see Connor say, it's
actually working, and I do not want you interfering.
Okay. All right. All right, cool. And Ruben is
going to take another fire shot at Ruby. Yep,
nope. Oh man, you should have tried harder. Very
little to say to that because that's true. He's
not doing super well there. Kick his ass, Ruby.
Full of hot air. We're back around to Ruby. I
run another 25 feet up and I look at the... Who
is in combat with you? Oscar. I look at Oscar.
and my eyes, which I am in the mask, glow a bright
white, and I'm going to use Synapse Lapse, and
I need him to make an intelligence save of 16. Oh,
damn. If he only had a bonus to intelligence,
that might have worked. Okay, yeah, he's momentarily
stunned. He's like, uh. And you all see my shadows,
like the shadow in the sunlight, literally grasp
towards him. Like Shikamaru from Naruto. Go and
grasp him. And he is like, this fight is such
a drag. He's frozen. He's stunned for the next
round. I think since Salt is facing the other
way, he doesn't see the shadow. And this is now
the second time in three days he's punched something
really hard. He's like. I still got it, baby.
That's my turn. I'm done. How aroused does Sweetly
look? Scale of one to ten, please. You would
not want to be responsible for repairing the
bed. Okay. Fantastic. You know a carpenter, though.
You do. You do. Who can just be called on at
a moment's notice. Edgewater. Edgewater is going
to whip her sword chain above her head. And just
say, I need to apologize to Elena Razorstorm.
I have unfortunately besmirched her honor, unintentionally,
I promise, but still done so. The damage has
been done. I accidentally started a rumor about
her being seen in an area unchaperoned with
a gentleman. It was not correct. It was not correct.
And it was unintentional. And I am sorry. Okay.
I'm going to say make a persuasion check. Because
that was entirely done in six seconds. Ten. So
noted. Salt. Yeah, I mean, he's got a stunned
enemy in front of him. He's just going to crack
away. Oh, no. That's advantage on attack rolls
against... right now. It is, and you have the...
Oh, God, you got the anatomist. Oh, no. So that's
an 18 on the first attack. Absolutely. Key point
for Flurry of Blows. So two more attacks. Yep. Next
one. That's a nat 20. Yes! Oh, God. Oh, he's...
And that's... Here, I'll reroll that one in.
That's another nat 20. Yes! So by my count, that's
3d6. Plus 9 for each attack. Yeah, 3d6 plus 9.
So you're adding... Can I spend an additional
key point from the anatomist thing to add the
martial arts die to each one? Yes. So that's
3d6 plus 3d4 plus 9. Do each attack. Yeah. Because
I think you actually get more than that. Oh,
that's right. It's doubling the... Yeah, doubling
the die. So it would be a d6 plus a d4. 2d6 plus
2d4. 2d6 plus 2d4. Plus three times your bonus.
Sweet. All right. So this is the first one. This
is the non-crit. That's two, six damage. This
is the first crit. Eight damage on there. And
then last one. These guys again. The second crit.
Damn. That's also two plus two is four. Oh, sorry.
That was seven each because that was two, two,
two. So that was 21 damage total. Wow. 21 damage
over the whole course of. Yes. It was a lot of
ones. Yes. Okay. Woof. Just. Woof. Not good.
Not good at all. It was okay. Yeah, yeah. I think
he meant it's not good for Oscar. Yeah, no, Oscar's...
Oscar... I would say if you had to assign him a
sort of subtitle, he would be Oscar the Ouch.
Yeah, kind of pick him up by his collar so he's
up and just hit him over and over again until
he starts responding. I didn't know you were
going to do it, dude. Because of the nature
of Synapse Lapse, there is a... Wait, where am
I? Ow. Why are you hitting me in the... Ow. What'd
I do? Ow. He's stunned, so he doesn't get to
do anything. Yeah, that's right. Nigella... Raises
the Escrima sticks and drops them. I can't let
go of my chain. It's whipping in the air. I'll
gently slow it down until it comes to a stop.
Fantastic. It seems like somebody has got their
honor restored. Fantastic. Okay, cool. Combatants,
off to the side. Thank you very much. I'll step
off to the side. What a beautiful moment. That
was nice. Samuel. Half my movement speed up.
We're now 30 feet in the air. We are getting
higher. I forgot. At the start of my turn, I
can do a D4 to him just straight up. And I should
have prefaced. I'm doing all non-lethal damage
with my punches. Okay. Not trying to break this
man's spine. Good to know. Good to know. He sucks.
So that's two points of bludgeoning damage at
the start of my turn. And then here comes a punch.
Oh, that might probably actually miss. I was
too busy dodging the poison spray. 13. At disadvantage?
Oh! That was a 17 on the die, so the 13. Okay.
That isn't going to hit. Yeah. He does have a
little bit of extra health right now. No problem.
Okay, cool. So now you're 30 feet in the air and Samuel is going
to take his turn. This is not where he wants
to be right now. So he is going to Misty Step
to the ground. That's his bonus action. And with
his action, he's going to shoot at you. Yeah.
Because you're terrible. And he's going to take
the negative D4. Oh, you. You, you. Saved by
the Bane. Yes. Yeah. Well, are you sure? Because
I have really bad AC. Okay. It dropped to a 15.
That hits. So to let you know. I'm completely
unarmored. I have 11 AC. Oh, dang. Edgewater
has 12. We're not...Dang. Are you saying Sam
has an 11 pack? Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the other
one? 11 piercing. He shot off the other one. Ruby
has the best AC out of anybody. Oh, yeah. Ruby
has ridiculous stats. Has this ever happened
to you before? Okay. Mary, you're doing your
thing. Yes, I am. Damage for the shot. So sorry.
Oh, 11. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it was 11 piercing. Okay,
so I'm going to... How many feet around would
I have to go to get around to where Connor and
Edison are talking? It'd be like 100 feet. So
let's say the closest run is going to be like
130. Okay. Because they're not exactly... I'll
do 30 feet just to kind of start closing distance
and leave that as it is. And I want to cast Detect
Thoughts on... Ruben. Okay. What is the range
of detect thoughts? I think it's 60, but I don't
know. Sure, we'll say it's fine. If you say so.
Twist my arm. And this one, I'll dig deeper.
Okay, cool. So he's going to make a wisdom save.
That was shitty. Good. All right, so what are
you trying to look for? I am looking for... what
he truly wants to get from Ruby. And who, is
there two, can I get two things? You get one
question around. Fine, fine. He wants nothing
from Ruby. He wants control of the company. But
he's so hot. You know, those things can both
be true. Okay. All right. And with that intrusion,
he yells out, whoever is messing around in my
mind. Please stop. I will not. And actually,
I have to check. I actually have to check if
that is he knows someone or if he knows who is
doing it. I mean, she did say, hey, it's me,
Madam Belladonna. I'm in here. Exact words. If
it fails, I'm sorry. Either way, the target knows
that you are probing into its mind. So I'm going
to casually lean on one of the strats of the
honor dome, and I'm going to point at my eyes,
and I'm going to point at him with my big ol'
eyeballs, and hopefully distract him from the
fight. Okay. Wait, did that disqualify? Well,
I'm not interfering. You've cast a spell on him,
distracted him, and now you're distracting him.
Well, I'm not trying to distract him. He just
might get distracted. I mean, you did just kind
of say I stare at him and distract him from the
fight. That's up to him. Artie is going to get
a perception check to see if he clocks what's
going on because there is so much happening.
Ooh, that's a 15 on the die. Is that a success?
I would like to Silvery Barbs. That's a 13 on
the die. All right. That's one caution. Any more
interference, we're going to have some problems.
Oh, I didn't even realize. I'm so sorry. Why
are you Southern? It just seems to work for some
of you. Okay. If you got uncontrolled magic,
you got to get out of here. Uncontrolled? Never.
I'm sorry. You just said I didn't realize. What?
You're going to have to make the mother of all
deception checks right now. If this is it for
me, I loved you all. Like, this is flagrant.
Okay. That is 18 plus 6. All right. Get your
shit together. We got something happening. I'm
so sorry. Shush. Shush. Shush yourself. I will
shush. I will shush right now. You're not shushing.
Oh, you? Okay. All right, now back to the action.
And Ruben is going to tap on a tattoo of an old
justice figure on one arm. And you need to make
a con save. That's a 17. Okay, cool. Your vision
begins to cloud slightly, but you shake it off
as he attempts to blind you. That's cool. There
is also a shimmer that... ripples through the
tattoos. All right, cool. Ruby? All right. I'm
going to cast Eldritch Blast at this guy. That's
only an 11. Yeah, that does not cut through the
mage armor. All right, I will run away a little
bit. I will say, fuck you, and I will run away
a little bit, and that's all I can do. All right,
Salt. Cool. I'm going to keep... He is no longer
stunned. Yeah. I'm going to start. First thing,
because I think he's coming out of stun. I've
kind of got him. Seriously, last chance. And
I'm going to give him an opportunity to tap out.
He doesn't seem like he has any interest in tapping
out. Great. I'm going to hit him a bunch. And
since I don't think I've said it so far, I am
attacking non -lethally. 18 on the dice. That's
24. And I'll use a bonus action. You said he's
looking bad, right? Yeah, he's not looking great.
Yeah, I'm going to burn my last ki point for
another flurry of blows. Yes. Oh, no. So first
one, that's a two. I'm going to use my last luck
point to reroll that attack. Okay. That's a seven
plus six, 13. Hold on. I'm going to work against
my own interest here. Okay. Silvery Barbs was
cast. There is a second aspect to Silvery Barbs
that lets you bestow advantage on someone. Perfect.
Now, if you wanted to use your last lucky point,
because you have used advantage granted by Silvery
Barbs, we don't have a map. We haven't done a
lot of combat. Very easy to miss these things.
So I feel like had we been combat -focused for
more, we would have known that. Cool. So third
roll on the second attack. That's a 13 plus 6,
a 19. Oh, yeah. Why am I honest? Poor Oscar.
And then last attack is a 9 plus 6, 15. Yeah,
he does have a great AC. Yes! Dex is not his
thing. So that's 3d6, and then plus the modifier.
So that first attack is a 3. 2, that's 5. 2 is
7, plus 9, 16. Oh, say goodnight, Oscar. Yeah,
he kind of comes to for a second, and I give
him a Popeye wind -up and an uppercut and just
knock him out. Say goodnight, Gracie. As he hits
the ground, I dust off my hands like a bowler
and just kind of look at him and go, strongest
boy in the town. Good show, Mr. Thalt! I kind
of look at him, I give a little point to LeFroy
on the side, and then at this point, I wink at
Peter. That's my guy. Yes. Oh, my God. Beard
ear nods, returns the wink. Yes. And Oscar, whose
turn is next, will take a well -earned nap on
the ground. Nagella, out of the picture. You
are out of the combat. Samuel. If he is within
30 feet with the Misty Step, right? Yeah. Then
I'm coming down with a hammer fist from the air.
Hit him with the fucking people's elbow. Yeah,
I mean, he was 30 feet in the air. He could only
go straight down and not fall. Hang on. I like
to live on the wild side. Could I just let myself
fall instead of fly down onto him? So you want
to take a little extra damage? I don't know what
falling onto a creature does. I would say if
you can hit him, then you both take the damage.
I'm willing to risk it. While poisoned. Okay.
Yeah. All right. I'm in for a show. Well, 15
is not going to promise. 12. That does not hit
him. And so you're going to take 3d6 from the
fall. Somewhere there is a tiny bug that goes.
Oh, no. That's who I was aiming for. Yeah. Well,
that's 1, 5, 5, total of 10. Okay. And I think
I'm prone? Yeah, you've fallen 30 feet and you're
prone. But honestly, falling 30 feet and only
taking 10 damage, you're not doing terrible.
Bonus action while on the floor. A second win.
Yeah. Good call. Nice. Good call. It is Desmond's
turn. And he is going to... He's not going to
shoot him because... That's a ranged attack,
and he's prone. Oh, now you know the rules? Just
learned that one now. I'm very proud. Thank you.
He's not. He's going to run and toss a small
vial over his shoulder towards you, and he is
going to discharge a web grenade. Dexterity saving
throw. Okay. 15. Damn it. I think Edgewater yells,
you bloody coward! Yeah. Dragon just punched
the crap out of him. Of course he's running away.
That's supposed to run away in a fight. Yeah,
you're not supposed to run away in a fight. No,
What they are doing is ranged combat that's different.
Okay, so yeah, the web grenade goes off and you
are not restrained, but there is a patch of webs.
in this 20 -foot square that is difficult terrain.
Good to know. Yep. Moving through it. Half movement.
So you're going to have half of half to get up.
Yeah. All right. And it is to... That was Desmond.
Mary, continuing your... Yeah, I'll continue
my lap around. So I'll get... I'm 60 feet away
at that point. Cool. And I think just while I'm
on the move, I'll do another perception check.
of anyone who might be trying to interfere. Okay,
cool. 17 plus 9. There is no one else other than
you trying to interfere. I should be the only
one trying to interfere with this. You hit a
piece of glass that reflects right back at you.
Oh, my God. So beautiful. And Ruben is going
to give up slightly on the clever spell use and
just firebolt you. No, fuck, man. Jesus. Ruben
is having problems. Maybe the power of lust is
strong and is protecting him. Ruby, what would
you like? I am going to my mask. You're going
to see the mouth, which hasn't moved ever, dislocate
and drop a little bit. And then I'm going to
cast Dissonant Whispers. Would that count as
interference and disqualify? This is a group
fight. So as long as you're all still in combat,
it's fine. If either Edgewater or Salt have settled
their grievances. Okay, we're full out. You are
not allowed to do anything anymore. Also, Ruby's
making a statement where she has hit and succeeded
at every moment in this combat, and Ruben has
not. And you have not targeted him. Or you targeted
him once. I'll get to you later. But yeah, a
16 wisdom save. Yes. He succeeds. He takes half
damage. That's 3d8 damage, so that is 10 points
of damage, so he takes 5 psychic damage. Okay.
Back down to Samuel. Unless anybody wants to
do anything... No. No, I think over in the penalty
box, which is kind of on the side now, Salt will
congratulate Edgewater, and he'll kind of look
at the chain, and it's Axel? Who's your weapons
master? Major Greyhorn. Okay. Major Greyhorn
did a good job. And then he kind of looks over at
Nigella, still saying... I think your parents
did a better one. That was well acted out there.
And he kind of gives you a little nod. Thank
you so much, Mr. Salt. And then he immediately
turns and goes, now rip their heads off! Ooh,
a little bit of the old army bloodlust is coming
back. Yeah, thump them into the sand! Fucking
love Lefroy. So half of half to stand up, so
I think I have five feet of movement left. Yeah,
pretty much. And then how far away did he run
to throw that little web grenade? He made his
30. He made his full 30. Okay. So he's 20 feet
outside of the 10 -foot little block. Then I'll
use an action dash to get some movement. The
five feet I have left, can I fly up and then
be over the webbing? And then will close the
30 feet and just be next to him. Okay, fantastic.
Just wanted to double check, Evan. Is there any
way to, like, this poison condition, like, if
I can use an action to try to get through it,
or is it just... Yeah, you can try to focus it
out. Okay, just wanted to know. Desmond is right
up next to you, so that gun becomes entirely
useless. And he is going to... You know what?
Let's just holster the gun and take a chop with
the cutlass. Oh, dude. Awesome. Never mind. Hard
never mind. I mean, it wouldn't have hit normally,
but having it dropped down to a one hurts just
a little more. Mary, you're going to be able
to make it all the way around at this point,
I believe. Okay. You only had to do 130. All
right. Yeah. So I'll do the next 30 of movement.
Are they still speaking, the two of them? Okay.
I'll cast. invisibility on myself so that I can
get close and continue to listen to their conversation.
Well I want to know what what it is that is working
what they've been working on okay? Yeah, cool. Make
a stealth check because you are going to full
-on fucking disappear yeah in a crowd like a
bunch of people are going to watch you go like
a wallflower and cease to exist. I mean who would
notice little old me? That's why you're getting
a stealth check. I think you have an ability
that lets you do that better, too. Oh, that's
one of the perks of being a wallflower, right?
Well, I have... Yeah, I have... I'm really glad
somebody decided to throw that. Yeah. Finally.
I have expertise, so that... And I have a reroll.
And you're invisible, so you have advantage.
Oh, I do? Do I? Right? No. What you're doing
is you are... That sounded confident. You're
getting away from people's vision so they don't
go, holy shit, she just disappeared. So I have
plus nine, and I do have one reroll that I can
do per day. If I have to. It's a 17 plus nine.
Excellent. You sort of duck under someone, and
then as you're ducking under, gone, baby. So
I want to come up. Next to them. I don't know
where. Are they hanging on to the side of the
dome? No, they're standing. Oh, classy. Okay.
I'm going to come up behind them and listen to
the conversation that they're trying to hide.
Connor looks at Edison. I'm telling you, once
the boy is fully mature, you'll have access to
the power. He doesn't know it yet, but he is
the key. I just don't believe that you would
actually do that. It was bad enough when you
did that to... It was a bad idea. I made a mistake
and you took advantage of it. And I just... I'm
trying to make it right. Just... This is... It's
unnatural, Connor. Edison, don't push me. We
are close. Because you don't have the stomach,
doesn't mean I will choose to fail. Now get it
together or get out of my way. And that is the...
Six second chunk of the conversation you can
hear. And we are to Ruben. And Ruben is having
such a good time, fun time with all of this.
He's going to run straight at you. Could we get
a wisdom saving throw from Ruby, please? That's
a 19. I'm proficient in wisdom saves. I'm zero.
Okay, wow. You've cost him yet another spell
slot as he... touches a chain around one bicep
and you feel your body start to lock up. Oh.
And it ceases. Oh, man. That hold person would
have been nasty. Yeah. Okay, we're back to Ruby.
I am going to let out another screech and I am
going to use one of my pact spell slots because
I've used my pact points before to cast my
spells. I am going to cast Shatter at Ruben.
He needs to make a con save of 16. Nope. Does
not make it. That is 22 points of thunder damage
towards Ruben. Yes! Okay. That is very important
because Ruben has all of his levels in Wizard
and focused on intelligence and charisma, not
being sturdy. Yes. He does not have the opportunity
to tap out. Yeah, you can't non-lethally. You
cannot non-lethal spell damage. Oh, that's stupid.
And you have killed him. I mean, he was throwing
fire. He wasn't going to leave. I don't feel
bad. You did say to the death. Yeah. As soon
as it happens, I go, he was firing fire at me.
Somebody can come help him. I don't have the
ability. That's all I can do. I can't do anything
else. He drops. And Edgewater, you're out. Salt,
out. Oscar, very out. Nigella has surrendered.
It is down to Samuel and Desmond. It's one -on
-one, baby. Yes, this is the way it should have
gone. 13. Does not hit. Okay, he is... He can't
leave your area without possibly getting a horrible
fist to the face, which is... It's terrible.
He's going to take a swing at you and we'll minus
that four. Ooh, that is still 14 on the die.
Yep. So that will... Three. Three points of slashing.
You can tap out any time, Drake. And you can
get a better sword any time. I'm going to marry
her. Oh, Lordy. Alright, so Samuel, it's to you.
Now it's going to be you and Desmond unless anyone
is going to say I'm tapping in to do something.
No, I'm not going to mess up this fight. Mary?
It seems like Connor has put an end to the conversation.
I think there's not much I can really do here.
Totally fine. This is personal. Here comes a
punch. Okay. Okay. That's an 18 to hit. Fuck
yeah. Six points of damage and then bonus action
grapple. Nuts. Yep. He's not looking great. Twisted
20 for my athletics check. That's a nine on the
die. Minus four. Want to go on that ride again?
Because we're 15 feet back up in the air. Yes.
They start skipping drills at the academy, Desmond?
Damn it. Damn it. Yeah. So he is currently in
the air and not having a great time. He's going
to try to poison spray you. He's going to make
a con save. 15 plus 1. It's 19. Yeah. Yep. Oh,
why does he have to have a certain theme to what
he does? Samuel, what are you feeling? So the
immediate punch at the start of my turn will
do three bludgeoning damage. Ow. Fifteen more
feet up in the air. Action punch. Ow. Maybe.
Okay. Seventeen. Yep, yep. Max damage, twelve.
He is looking rough. If you want me to wait until
next round, but I haven't used the bonus action
yet, it's just like I can either let you down
the hard way or the easy way. Oh, spare me. That's
what I'm trying to do, Desmond. I think that
was a tap out. You just said spare me. Okay, I
will... It's just for the fun. I was just fucking
with Aristotle, thank you. So he is going to
make one more attempt to poison spray you. Okay.
Up in the air. Oh, I think he gets me. 7. Yes, so
you're going to take a D12 of poison damage.
Ooh, that's 11 poison damage. I will say you
are substantially hardier than your husband.
Ring the bell. We got it. No, he's not screaming
this. I hate men. Noted. No words. I got angry
once in session one. That flare of the nostrils,
that thunderous breath. Oh no, you're holding
him. Yes. That 15 foot of cone is just shooting
out. I hope I'm not at the edge of the arena.
You're 30 feet in the air? Yeah. Nah, you're
fine. Okay. And you can always look down. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's a... DC 11 deck save.
Oh, hell. Oh, hell. That's a negative one on
the die. I do not think he has got anything to
get him that far. That's max damage, so that's
10 thunder damage. Oh, my God. And I should say,
I don't know if that counts as a spell, and I
forgot to mention this was starting my turn.
That comment? This is no longer a non-lethal
battle. Yes! You can't non-lethal thunder damage
anyway. Yeah, perfect. Which is really unfortunate
because he had eight points left. Yes! So you
just, you shout his neck into a horrible perpendicular
position. Oh! You basically yell his head off.
Whoa! Got him. I think dejectedly, like... He
had feather fall. He had feather fall. He was
going to be fine if you dropped him. Not anymore.
He can't cast him while he's dead because I just
let the body drop. It lands like so much laundry.
Well, I guess that's all for this morning. All
right. Well, I hope we learned a couple things
about, you know, being better people. And, yeah.
All right. Hope everyone has a good day. We just
got to do a little bit of cleanup on in here.
And yeah, enjoy the rest of your day. Go team.
Yeah. I think Edgewater goes over to Nigella
and says, Miss Razorstorm, I think your fighting
style is quite... Impressive. But I do know...
Please do not patronize me. I'm not patronizing
you. I'm trying to... No, it's all right. I'm
just... Have you heard of Major Greyhorn? He's
my fencing instructor. You could see him for
fencing lessons. We could perhaps become sparring
partners. It is an appreciated invitation, but
I... I feel I should make sure I'm absent from
your family's presence for at least a while.
All right. If, no, it would not be a consolation
because it casts my actions in a worse light.
Oh, I think you better say it then. While this
did start as a petty revenge plot, your older
brother is truly a special man. And were situations
different, my answer would have been very different.
Yes, well, you can make that right, but that's
your choice. I meet with Major Greyhorn in the
sparring ring on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10
o 'clock sharp. Enjoy your training. And she
will turn and leave. We're going to go into wrap
-up mode. Can I do one thing before we leave?
Before we wrap up? Do Connor and Edison separate
after the duel? I want to corner Edison. Somewhere
discreet. Yes. The bathroom. Discreet, but menacing.
Is there a hedge nearby? Sure. You're just going
to pop out of invisibility in front of him? Why
are you surprised? You popped out of invisibility
in front of me. I was trying to... Don't worry
about it. Madame Belladonna, what is this about? You have answers
that I want. And I'm going to cast True Strike
and become Mary Smith again. Buh..ah...tuh You don't buhbuhbuh at me. I'm
done. And you have answers. I know you know why
I'm in your family. And I know you know what
Connor is doing right now. And you're going to
tell me. And I want to cast some sort of intimidation
or persuasion. I want to just... Okay, there
is no choice. This is intimidation because you
are flat out... I'm done. I'm done. And the true
strike gets... Advantage. Woooo! Oh, nat 1? Sorry. It's
a nat 20, baby. You're going to tell me who my
parents are and what the fuck Connor's doing.
Your mother was a... She was a... How to put
it delicately? You don't have to put it delicately.
A young lady of negotiable virtue. who, through
her natural abilities, which you seem to have
inherited some of, had a specialized service
she could render. And in my younger days, I may
have requested her company from time to time.
Yeah, yeah sex worker, we get it. As well as introduced
her to a few of my associates and at a certain
time she made it known to us that she was with
child. It was a bit of a shock for a few of us.
Do you not know how that works? I'm sorry, would
you like me to stop the story so you can be sassy?
Yes, but no, continue, and I will keep the sassiness
for later. So, in any case, a few of us were
married, and we didn't want to bring any sort
of scandal into the house. Heirs were not yet
sired, and there was a bit of a theory that one
of my friends, Connor, wanted to test. regarding
the bringing of certain extra planar powers into
our realm through certain biological conduits,
let's say. And, well, he took it upon himself
to induce your mother, who was carrying you, to volunteer.
That is not right. He drugged her and she had
no choice in the matter. Yeah, this seems like
a polite way of putting it. Well, we were in
the process of trying to complete the ritual
he had found and I just, I couldn't see it through.
I stopped things halfway through the ritual and
I... Removed her from the situation. Is she alive?
No. She met with an accident shortly after she
approached us demanding support for her child.
How unreasonable. Well, be that as it may. After
that accident, I decided that because I bore
no small responsibility for the child's situation,
that I would take it in. And you joined our family
in a way. It was complicated. I believe that
Connor informed... Lady Marguerite, about some
of the more salacious details, which created
certain rifts, which precluded naming you as
heir, as I am no way certain, but I have reasonable
suspicions that I am in fact your biological
father. However, Lady Marguerite was extraordinarily
adamant that this not come out. And Connor arranged
a certain financial arrangement with me to make
sure that no scandal befell the family. You have
a quarterly payment. I have lived in your house
for 28 years. Do you think I would have never,
ever questioned why or how I got there. Now,
Lord Sparks, I believe you. I believe that you
are not the true evil in this situation. I believe
that you did what you could, when you could.
I didn't try again. No. But Connor did. Now,
he has tried again recently. Oh, no, not recently.
20 years ago. And that resulted in Horatio? You
put the pieces together rather quickly. Yes.
Yes, I freaking got him. He is exhibiting...He's
beginning to exhibit. powers from the fey realm
which he does not have control over and he's
frightened. When apparently you interrupted me,
I was trying to calm him and remove him from
the situation. You can stare at me in that judgmental
way. I was doing what I could to try to put situations
right. Now exactly what is going to happen now?
That, I think, depends on you. I have recently developed
some friendships. I have for a long time kept
myself apart. Because I was told that I was apart.
And I'm no longer willing to do that. Now there's
a lot of rules in this town. But there's also
a lot of danger. I think people are starting
to be willing. to be flexible when rules are
no longer serving them. You and I, this is daddy
-daughter time. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah,
exactly. Things are going to change up around
here. I want to know what Connor's doing. We're
going to get Horatio the fuck away from him.
And if not, there's some creepy, creepy dolls
that might show up. In your house, dude. I have
absolutely no idea what you're talking about
about that. Hope you don't. I have been trying
to help Horatio. I don't know about that. Trying
by keeping it quiet during a party,? Trying by
bringing someone into your house, but ignoring
them for 25 years? It doesn't seem like trying
very hard. So I think you and I are going to
come to a new agreement. And we're going to change
things around here. That is a fantastic mission
statement. And I am open to hearing proposals.
But yes, we will... Currently, the young Mr.
Wolfe is the greatest concern. Because we don't
know exactly... I haven't been able to track
down any information about what would happen
after someone came to maturity if this ritual
were... Actually, successful. So he is exhibiting
uncontrolled powers from the Fae, and that is
complicated. And so if there is a way to either
help him harness them, or if there is a way to
suppress them or separate them from him, then
that is my current concern. Because as long as
he is unable to control them, he has to remain
separate, or he must be in fear constantly. Miss
Smith, I have made mistakes. I'm very aware of
that. I have a constant reminder of that every
morning. Oh. Yeah. And I am trying to set what
I can right. If you feel you need your pound
of flesh, then fantastic. Name your price. But
if we want to focus our efforts on assisting
Mr. Wolfe first and then dealing with our... personal
familial issues later, then that might be the
wisest course of action. I don't need a pound
of flesh, and I definitely don't need money.
Yes, it seems that you have some fun little secrets
of your own. Sue me. Are you familiar with a
fantastic pre-tearing expression, mutually assured
destruction? That's exactly what I was just thinking
about. You know, you and I might have a lot in
common here. Someone told me once, we have family
we find ourselves in. We have family that we
choose. You and I, it's in the past. I've started
to create a new life for myself. So you and I,
we're even. We're good. But there's someone else,
Horatio, that we need to get out of there. And
so wherever this ritual is taking place, I want
to know about it. What kind of ritual it is,
I want to know about it. Well, then it seems
we find ourselves in an uneasy alliance. And
we have some work to do. Let's get to it. And
with that, we're going to pan out. If anyone
else has a last parting shot for the season that
they would like to figure out, there is a tension
-filled and charged dinner with the two bodyguards.
as young Mr. Lefroy and Miss Fiona have their
first proper dinner date. Under your protective
chaperoning eyes. But you are also enjoying a
meal with Miss Beadere. And there is the unspoken
sentiment that maybe once they find themselves
together, you both can retire. Edgewater and
Samuel have quite a few plans that they have
to make. So that is going to be quite the ceremony.
And Ruby is coming into her own as the actual
heir of the business and the title. Her father
is not dead, but not alive, lingering in the
coma. And exactly the whys and wherefores. are
not things that are readily apparent. But you're
handling it. You're handling it on your own.
And that's something to be said. And so at this
point, we're going to pan out, leave Neo Britannia,
and close this season. Woo! Holy smokes, everybody.
Thank you all for listening. This has been wild.
And thank you to all the players. And we hope
you'll join us for our next story from Twisted
Tropes. Bye. Oh, what a finale. Thank you for
listening to Scandals and Scavengers, a Post
-Apocalyptic Regency Romance with Daniel Began
as Ruby Grace Rhinelander, Mattsthelast as
Lord Samuel Drake. Johnny McElearney as Second
Lieutenant Immortan Salt, Emily Carmen Welden
as Mary Smith, Bo Powell as Edgewater Clarence,
and Evan Kelly as the Game Master. Produced by
Evan Kelly, Trope Warden Bo Powell. Hey, this
is Daniel. Thanks for listening. If you're enjoying
what you're hearing, consider supporting us on
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