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Scandals and Scavengers, a post -apocalyptic
regency romance. Episode 13, Costumes and Climaxes,
or Improper Slurping. Last time on Scandals and
Scavengers. The masquerade ball begins swimmingly.
To kick things off, Samuel welcomed his guests
from a dais and throne at the center of the room,
entreating them to embrace the wild and find
harmony. Edgewater had a mind to embrace something
as she marched up to the dais disguised in a
lyron mask, but Samuel quickly saw through her
disguise and invited her for a dance. Lefroy
and Fiona had no trouble finding each other in
the crowd, but when Salt returned from retrieving
drinks, Beadere, dressed as a deer, had disappeared.
The hunt was on! Ruben, not bothered by Ruby's
cracked porcelain mask and creeping spider accessories,
led Ruby to the dance floor, deftly dodging her
questions about the octaguar investigation. And
Mary, in her mouse mask, found a safe haven from
social engagement in the abundant hedges surrounding
the party. But the good times couldn't last forever,
despite the positive vibes and incredible dance
moves Trudy was throwing around. From inside
the hedges, Mary observed Connor Carson engaged
in a hushed conversation with one of the ladies'
Wolfe. Knowing that Horatio Wolfe was in a similar
situation to her own, Mary decided to investigate.
Edgewater and Samuel's dance was interrupted
by Gladstone in a hound mask. It seemed he could
not find Nigella, and that would certainly put
a damper on his plans to propose. Meanwhile,
Ruben abruptly took his leave of Ruby, and though
she tried to follow him, she quickly lost him
in the crowd. Having lost his own quarry, Salt instead
spotted Lefroy and Fiona trying to dodge Oscar
and Zoe, so he ran interference while taking
a sniff of Oscar's scent of choice for the evening.
No eau de predator! Mary set Edgewater loose
on Connor for not wearing a mask, while Ruby
engaged Samuel's assistance in finding Ruben.
Unfortunately, Samuel found more than he was
bargaining for when he saw Ruben conversing with
Desmond, Gammabloom, and Oscar. Mary, Edgewater,
and Ruby reconvened, and Edgewater spilled the
tea about Gladstone. as well as informed Mary
that some people were saying that Horatio Wolfe
rather shockingly resembled one of his mothers
despite being adopted. At that moment, a mysterious
old woman in an owl mask approached the three
ladies and complimented Edgewater on being the
gem of the season. Confused by the interruption,
but undeterred from their important work, they
found Salt to share a rumor that they had heard
that Beadere had roughed someone up for making
an off -color comment about Fiona. Reinvigorated,
Salt immediately returned to his search. Suddenly,
a royal fanfare played and all attendees looked
to the entrance. But the queen did not appear.
How will Samuel handle this letdown? We return
to that exact moment to find out. And a fanfare
has just occurred with no monarch in sight. How's
everyone doing? Revved up. Yeah. That's a word.
I'm revved up and ready to party. I'm going to
grab Edgewater and I'm going to look her in the
eyes and I'm going to say, that was her. That
was her. Who was that? That was her. That was
her. Who? That was the lady. Owl lady. Owl lady.
That was her. Was her who? Uppercase H -er. Oh,
my God. The queen? Yes. And she said that I was
the... Wow. Is that what she looks without makeup?
Ruby, you need to talk quieter. Oh, my God. I'm
going to push. We need to find her. Yeah, I'm
going to push. We need to find her. I'll try
to lead Edgewater towards where we saw the Owl
Lady go. She is weaving in and out of the crowd
and is doing a very good job of not being seen.
Wait, do you think she'd mind if we just walked
up to her and were like, you're the queen? She's
here incognito. No one knows it's her. Just like
no one knows we're us. Yeah, nobody knows it's
me. Yeah. That's... Oh, God, the spiders are
loose. Okay. That was a strange choice. Oh, speaking
of which, have you seen Nigella Razorstorm? I'm
going to be fully honest. I've been dancing with
Ruben. I don't think I've been keeping an eye.
I can certainly try and keep an eye out. That'd
be great. Thank you. Gladstone can't find her,
and I think that's a bit awkward when you're
trying to propose. That kind of sounds like she's
avoiding him. Oh, what? What? Oh, it's all hush,
hush. Just us. Just only us. I look around because
you said that very loudly. All right. If you
two would excuse me, I do need to speak to Lord
Drake for a moment. You have to head over there
anyway. Because Ruben is still awkwardly standing
next to the throne with him. All right. And Mary,
you should come meet Ruben. You've met him.
Have you? I haven't. I don't think so. No. All
right, come meet him. He's delightful. Oh, really?
That's the vibe... Throws a great picnic. Okay. Well,
that's awkward. There's a slight pause and then
hoping, beyond hope, that Ruben can take a hint.
He's going to gesture like, would you mind just
stepping down for a second? Oh, oh, absolutely,
absolutely. I should probably go find Miss Rhinelander.
If you wait by the hedge right there, I'm sure
she'll spot you. Ah. You make a striking figure.
And I like a good hedge. And then Samuel will,
hopefully confidently, march back up to the throne,
face the party. What's the level of noise right
now, given the fanfare? Oh, it is quite into
a murmuring. As everyone's looking around like,
well, there's something that's supposed to come
after this. Trying to save face... Her Majesty
walks among us. Like I said, we interact here
as my late husband and I once did as strangers.
And so shall I join you now and remove myself
from this place of power. We are all equal here
in harmony tonight. And I will move into the
party. And then I will signal. It's like this
was supposed to happen when the queen was here.
Allow me to present you a dance of my people,
a dance of winds and a dance of the fiery passion
that we bring from our land. Okay. She says that loudly,
awkwardly. We both grab Edgewater. What occurs
with this dance? What's the choreography? Give
us the beats. I think throughout this evening
as the people have been mingling and getting
food and things like that, some people might
have noticed that the edge of the garden around
the hedge border has been made... There's been
a few... Wooden stages would be the best way
to describe it. Raised so that anybody from any
point of the party would be able to look up and
see them, especially those of shorter stature.
We want to make sure they're able to see the
show as well. And upon these stages, it's a pair
on each platform. Figures who are dressed in
a mixture of clothing, half representing Neo
Britannia. And the bottoms, though, are like
grass skirts. The other figures on the platform
with them seem to be wielding what looks like
tiki torches that somebody might have raided,
like a warehouse store, a home improvement store,
that like a lantern has been affixed to both
ends. And they are more similarly dressed to,
I think Mary and Edgewater might have been the
only ones who have seen this, fur. waist fur
kilt, essentially, and then a little more skin
than is normal, the fur vest, the flames of light,
and there is a hula as well as a fire dance on
each of these platforms to a very pumping beat.
It is quite the spectacle. Right now, I am going
to roll. We're going to say this die is to find,
this die is to avoid. Avoidance wins. So sad.
Gladstone still hasn't found Nigella. But he's
looking. He's looking. How long does this go
on? The actual show, maybe like a good 10 minutes.
There's like two or three routines that they
move through. A little bit of acrobatics. There
will be like a passing of torches between the
platforms and them catching them. And at one
point, they will toss the dancers who are moving
like winds and waves across the platforms as
well. A couple routines of that, but the music
keeps going as if to encourage people to enjoy
the music and dance themselves. There is a sort
of an awkward transition between courtly to a
more free form of dancing, but people are trying.
Some people with much more success than others.
There is a little polka dot bedecked mouse mask
gnome that is just throwing it. Look at her go.
Just extraordinary. She's an absolute weapon
out there. Who is that? Don't worry about it.
Only the wisest woman out here. So let's see
here. What is going to be happening? I'm going
to need Mr. Salt to make a perception check to
get a read on where exactly your charge has gotten
off to. Okay. That's a 10. Clean. You can't see
him, but you can see both Oscar and Zoe. Okay.
And they are moving in separate directions, looking
down and in conversation. With each other? No.
Oh, are they talking to anyone? Not that you
can see from this vantage point. Oh, gotcha, gotcha,
gotcha. They're not moving and looking. Okay,
gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Are they, like, equidistant
from me? About. Okay. You feel a slap on your
ass. He stands at attention. You're losing
your edge, old man. Gotta pay attention. He turns
around and he's like, took me a while. He hands
her the drink that he's been trying to give her
for like a whole evening. And that you've knocked
back three times. I've already found a few of
my own, but let's see if you can keep up. I kind
of gesture towards the two of them and I ask,
Do you want to take one of them? Shall we flip
for it? Sure. You call it. Heads. Okay, that'll
be even. Okay. That is a nine. So which did you
want to follow? I probably would have wanted
to follow Lefroy and Zoe. Okay, cool. So she's
like, you know what? Let's trade it up a little.
I feel like we're going to be spending a little
bit more time together. Let's get to know each
other's charges. I think that's a good idea.
And in that spirit, maybe meet back here afterwards.
Compare notes. It's only the responsible thing
to do. Responsible. And he makes it over that
way. Yes! Okay. He'll go up to... Oh, wait, I'm
going to Oscar and Fiona, right? Yes. Okay, gotcha,
gotcha, gotcha. And you saw Oscar with the others.
I didn't see that. With Ruben and Desmond. That
was right. I didn't see that one. Yes. Well,
I didn't know who the third one was. I didn't
decide to clock it. Right. Okay, I'll leave him
alone because I don't know. I think it maybe better
to encourage Fiona. Okay. Okay. You're taking
an awful lot of time just sort of sitting and
standing. Are you actually going to be doing
this? He takes his drink and jumps up and says,
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. You're
not having a senior moment, are you, Grandpa?
He just kind of goes, I got it. Grandpa's tough.
I know, that felt a little bit harsh. I apologize.
We'll work on it. He darts off. As he kind of
walks over, I think he's going to try to kind
of move in between some of the Wildlands displays.
some of what's been brought in and grab little
bits of like strange looking flora, kind of the
most novel or if there's anything kind of particularly
dangerous looking, if there's anything like thorny
or anything and put a little collection together
and go up to Oscar and Fiona and say, I'm so
sorry to interrupt. Ms. Blightwind, I was told
you have an interest in... I was going to
say haberdashery, but that's hats. Horticulture.
An interest in horticulture. Mr. Seltzer had
wondered if you might want to look at some of
these. He had sent some of these plants over for
you to look at if you'd like to. Oh, yes. Mr.
Henson, you wouldn't mind if I took a quick look?
All right. I mean, I've been trying to find you
for a dance the entire night, but all right.
And I'll kind of gesture her over towards where
Lefroy is, assuming that Miss Sweetly's unsuccessful.
And then as she kind of walks away, I won't push,
but kind of just put my hand kind of out. And
I'll lean into Oscar and go, you just need a
dab on the neck. Walk into it. Don't douse yourself.
And then walks away. Beadere is kind of getting
herself through the crowd because she has to
clear the dance floor to get to them. And as
she's getting to the edge of the dance floor,
Zoey hauls out from behind a hedge, looking aghast.
Wait, she was behind the hedge with...? Lefroy.
Oh. Oh, no. Looking absolutely aghast. I'll,
seeing the Beadere's been blocked, kind of head
over, and if I can make eyes with her, just like,
kind of give her a, I thought you had this, and
make my way over. And she looks at you with a
look of, you were taking so fucking long to get
moving, I was worried that you were having a
stroke. Not yet, anyway. And I'll make my way
over. She is much closer. She, Zoe, or? Beadere
is closer to Zoe and Lefroy. Okay. And Zoe breezes
by her and says something and then goes away.
And Lefroy comes out from behind the hedge looking
confused. I'll go up to him. Everything okay,
little lord? I don't understand, Mr. Thalt.
She said that there was... Something going on
back here that I should want to see, but then
she shrieked and then she clutched her neckline
and then just started to run off. I'm very confused.
This is not in the courting books. Can I look
around? Are there other folks around? There are
a lot of people looking. Can I use... I'll double
check, but I think mechanically I have one level
of head of household. Okay. Which I think gives
me advantage on squashing rumors about members
of my household. I believe it is tracing rumors
about members of your household. Trace or discover.
Oh, trace or discover. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You
think I'd be able to remember this, having written
the damn things? Discover would be, there seems
to be a bit of a murmur occurring, so if you
want to clue in on the murmur. Yeah, okay, I'll
see what people have kind of intuited. All right,
so that'd be perception, so you get advantage
on that. That's 13. 11, so 13. With that, people
seem to be shocked that it seems that little
Mr. Lefroy was inappropriate with Miss Zoe. I
will... If only you all could see the looks of
anger around this table. I'm going to kill her.
I think as a start, I'm going to encourage Mr.
Lefroy. You may want to go check on her. I think
the proper thing to do would be to make sure
she's okay and kind of gesture to her. If you say
so, Mr. Thalt, she was acting weird. Be that
as it may, we may want to find out exactly why.
I'll stay close behind and make it that I am
observably observing him. observably observing
yeah okay got it um and then as we kind of walk
by I will kind of look to Beadere of like confusion
and concern beyond like this is embarrassing
but like that was weird and it looked like... Check
on Fiona. Beadere has her eyes narrowed and she
looks at you looks at Lefroy and then looks towards
where Zoe had rushed off to and she turns back
to you, shakes her head a little, and then glares
back towards Zoe and starts to walk. To follow
her. Okay, as I say, I guess we're now all kind
of heading towards her. I'll just kind of grab
Lefroy by the collar for a second. And with maybe
some recent revelations about Miss Sweetly's...
approach to things to say, I think the wiser
thing to do here might be to see how this starts
playing out. And we'll kind of follow close behind.
Wait, so am I supposed to go and check on her
or am I supposed to not? She may need checking
on in just a moment, but I don't think it's happened
yet. Beadere is slowly closing in on Zoe, who has
started to rush over to Oscar. I would say he
has Oscar nearby. Not nearby, but she's leading
her way through the party to Oscar. Okay. Make
an insight check. Oh, 18. She's taking a direct
route to Oscar. A direct route that pushes her
through the most people possible. There is a
more discreet way to get to her brother. Oh,
Zoe is? Yes. Okay. It would take a little bit
longer, but... it would be much more discreet
in this situation. Yeah. As a quick check, because
I had seen them before, parents still not kind
of reacting or observing. I think the competing
instinct is to distract attention from whatever
the planned incident was, but knowing that Sweetly
has jumped in, I don't know that attention is
necessarily the wrong thing here. Can I get to
Oscar quicker than Sweetly or Zoe can? Maybe
not even necessarily. I don't think you can get
to her quicker than Zoe can. Okay. Can I get
to him quicker than Sweetly can? Sweetly is stalking.
I think it would be the most appropriate verb
to be used. Then I'll head over. I'll try to
get to him before she does. And just go. Is LeFroy
with you? I think he's a little back. Okay. I
think he's kind of following to see what happens.
But I'll kind of say, give me a moment here,
Mr. LeFroy. And I'll kind of move ahead. And
I'll go up to Oscar and say, Mr. Henson. Oh,
my sister just told me quite the tale about your
little ward there. Telling tales. It's a good
start. And I kind of look over to Miss Sweetly.
Are you calling my sister a liar? I've not called
your sister anything. Your implication was clear,
Mr. Salt. Then if my implication was clear, your
reaction should be clear. Tomorrow. Dawn. There's
generally a gesture involved if you'd like to
give it a shot. Oh What a badass He removes a
glove and whack right across. Yeah, I'm gonna
use my stones endurance and really harden up
that cheek forum Just like grit the jaw muscle.
Mm -hmm. I'll see you there. Enjoy the rest of
the ball. Mr. Henson I assume we all see that.
Oh, everyone sees this. And Twitter's listening
for rumors immediately. You're to the ground.
Ruby's living the drama. Yeah, I also want to
hear, what are people saying? Can I investigate
or something? Can you hear the rumor? Everybody
is talking about, what happened? Did LaFleur
actually... What's going on? Why is the tutor
getting involved? What is happening here? Everybody
make a perception check. Is this sight -based
or sound -based? This is sound -based. I'm going
to use a second point. 16. Beyond the general
confusion, there is one voice that comes out,
not asking questions, not wondering, but just
a simple... Well, I hope he has good dental insurance.
Well, Ashton, always a pleasure to see you. Yes,
Lord Elton Abrams with his silver front teeth
and canines from a possible previous interaction
with Salt that went poorly. He looks at him and
he kind of raises his hands. So good to see you.
And on an evening such as this where we can drop
the veneers. Oh, so good. Salt's a little in
his cups at the moment. You and Sweet Larry.
Lord Elton just looks at you and walks up to
Oscar. Best of luck to you tomorrow. Best of
luck. Has the rumor actually gotten to Edgewater
yet? Oh, that there will be a duel tomorrow?
No, not the duel. Why there was a duel. Yes.
Great. She's going to look at Ruby and Mary and
say, I need your help. All right. We've got to
fix this. All right. Start talking. Here's what
we're going to say. Oh, my God. I've never seen
this side of you, Edgewater. The little Lord
Lafroy has found out. that Lady Zoe was with
child. And when he, with a different man, and
when he confronted her about it, she screamed
and ran out of the hedges. Let's go, go, go.
You know how to escalate like nobody else. Wow,
wow. And I will go and just be loudly talking
to Ruben. So here is how we're going to do this.
Who wants to be the cedar of the rumor? And then
the instigators will either be able to roll with
advantage to bump it up one level, or you may
each try to instigate and bump it up one level
each. I will say, I'm going to grab each of you
by the wrist and drag you behind one of the many
hedges at this wonderful party. Thank you so
much for thinking of us. Although, honestly,
too many hedges. It's a lot of hedges. It's a
lot of hedges. For next time. I'm going to conflictive
review this here. Perfect amount. Too many. You
can't please everyone. You really can't. I'm
going to drag them both behind a hedge, and I'm
going to take my mouse mask off real quick and
be like, okay, listen. Listen. All right. Circle
of confidence. Okay. Or triangle of confidence.
I need you to take the weird mask off real quick
so I can talk to you and not the mask. Piece
by piece. Yeah. I wish I had seen that. Okay.
Bye. Okay. Do either of you think that you can
subtly, successfully, tastefully start this rumor
without getting caught? Because it's a big one.
Of course I can. Edgewater, I need you to level
with me so hard right now. Okay, no, not at all.
I'm going to be honest. I can. You can? She could.
I cannot. Okay. But, and I'm going to very, very
quickly, go Belladonna. I might be it. And then
I'm going to go back to Gary. Madame Belladonna.
You need to simmer it way down. How is drinking
whiskey with Madame Belladonna? I'm best friends
with Madame Belladonna. I would not put it that
way at all. Best friends with Madame Belladonna.
Everyone be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Are we cool?
Of course. So cool. So cool. Okay. How are we
going to play this? Because... You start it.
Pregnant by another man. Yeah. Big one. You start
it and I will spread it. I'll spread it too because
you know I'm of course just looking for the people
who started it. I want to make sure that everything
is factual. That's what I'm here for. And how
appalled you are because you are the gem of the
season. Absolutely. In your time, I think this
could not happen. Oh, you devious bastard. All
of you are devious, devious bastards, and I love
it. So I think I'll put a second mask on. No,
I'll keep my mask on. Because no one really knows
it's me. I'm a wallflower. No one knows me. And
I'm going to sweep back out into the room. And
I'm going to have a bit of... illusory magic.
I don't know if it's a silent image or minor
illusion. A small kind of looking glass in my
hand. And I'm going to go over to Zoe, if I can.
And just kind of peer at her. And I'm not going
to do anything. I'm just going to stare with
my big ol' eyes. And my looking glass. And then
I'm going to sweep away and then start whispering
to people. that perhaps young Mr. LaFroy, his
honor is intact. Wow. Fucking awesome. Let's
ignore the rumor system for 13 runs and then
all of a sudden... We're using it. We're using
it, baby. We are going to bat for this tiny young
man. Wow. All right. So due to the nature of
what is occurring, I'm going to say we are going
to start this as an intriguing whisper, not...
idle chit -chat. Yes. Sure. So I'm going to say
this is going to be a DC 20. Oh, boy. Oh, shit.
To get this new version of things to take hold.
What do I add to it? You can either do investigation,
persuasion. No, actually, this is kind of...
Performance? I would say persuasion, deception,
or performance. Can I ask a question on behalf
of my good friend? Emily. Yeah. Would she have
time to cast a Hans ability on herself? Before
walking out of the hedges? Knowing that that
was going to be super helpful, absolutely she
would have the ability to do that. And I choose
the ability, correct? Yes. And it adds... You
have advantage on any charisma check. Advantage
on any charisma check. So in that case, I will
do... Deception. Even though his honor is intact.
You are creating an imaginary. I'm doing a whole
lot of deception around a truth. An imaginary
pregnancy. We think. We don't know. It could
be true. I couldn't possibly presume to know
this young woman's life. I feel a little bad
that we're absolutely going to demolish this
kid, but also she started it. What are you asking?
Are we ramboing rumors? They drew first blood.
You bringing rumors? So I get plus six to deception.
Love. And then with advantage. Roll one. It's
a 13. Okay, plus six. 19. You're in for 20. I
swear to God. I swear to God. I will accept the...
call of cocking, because I can't honestly see
from this far away. It's minorly cocked. Does
that still count? I mean, minorly cocked would
still have the requisite result for Zoe, so sure,
go for it. I don't feel good about that. Yeah,
that's tough. Kick her while she's down, Evan.
No, that'd be easy. So I missed it by one. Okay,
so Madame Belladonna is not able to get this
to take hold. The attention is still on what
little Mr. Lafroy did. And now us trying to spread
this. They still have advantage because it's
kind of... We can't spread it at all now. I said
it to some people. Oh, you can make the attempt.
You just won't have me one level down or still.
This is a fresh rumor. So I'm going to say like
you are at ground zero. So I'll say that you're
still looking for a DC 20 to spread things. Cool.
What am I rolling though? Persuasion, deception,
or we'll say performance. I rolled a 19 for a
30 deception. Oh, yes, Ruby. I watch from the
sidelines and I'm like, damn, she really knows
how to get it out there. I only had a 17 performance.
The thing is that Ruby has such a reputation
for her inability to not say things that she
knows. When she starts saying things, they must
be true. She just doesn't have the brains to
not say it. Are you putting any kind of panache
in this? Or are you just walking up the stairs
and going, I heard she's pregnant and walking
away? Can you imagine being pregnant? That was
a very fast run for someone in her delicate condition.
Okay, so now you have now started to spin it
towards, oh my god, LeFroy found out she's pregnant.
Yeah. I'm going to say that is where we're going
to keep it at intriguing whispers, but with that,
great. Can we say that because I said it first?
This is a homebrew rule that Ruby won't get in
trouble if people find out it's not true. Unfortunately,
no. She was the one who successfully took control
of this narrative. I still appreciate it. Ruby's
like, yeah, whatever. You can't be mad at Rumi.
Her dad's in a coma. Her dad's in a coma. Don't
yell at her. She's pregnant. Also, my dad's in
a coma. Also, she's pregnant. He's fine, though.
He's getting better. I'm honestly, like, legitimately
not sure how to feel about that. But in any case,
the duel has been declared. Tomorrow morning?
Tomorrow morning. Fucking do it. Hell yeah. Location?
He gets to decide? Oh, no, the Honor Dome. Oh,
fuck yeah. This is where such things are decided.
The Dome of Honor. Do you guys want to tailgate
the duel? Yeah. Wait, is it just between him,
or do they bring, like, a gang? He probably has
a second. Definitely a second. You must have
a second. I know someone who's excellent with
a sword chain. Oh, me? Oh, I don't know if I
could step in as Mr. Salt's second. That's true.
Because I think there's someone else he has his
eye on. Trudy's been telling me about this for
ages. She called this two years ago. I swear
to God. That's amazing. Trudy is fabulous. Who's
Trudy? I'll introduce you later. She's wasted
right now. Have you both noticed that Ruben kind
of like appears and disappears whenever... That's
what was bothering me about them yesterday. He
came in unannounced, Ruby. You have to announce
yourself? No, no, no. It's like when you opened
the door for me. That was... The butler announces
you. Oh. So your butler should have met him at
the door and then brought him to the door to
the exterior because, of course, we were out
in the gardens. And then the butler should have
stepped outside and said, Madam, Mr. Weller here
to see you. And then he is allowed to come in
if you give him leave. Oh. Yeah, I guess that
is the way people do stuff. Yes, I didn't even
notice it yesterday. I'm losing my time. Never
say that. Okay. Thank you, Mary. All right. I
don't know. It's just weird. I don't even know.
Also, come to think of it, he was with me when
the animals got out of the cage and then he was
gone. Wait. What? Yeah, I think so. Am I? My
ears are burning. What are you talking about?
Mr. Weller. It's so good to see you. Miss Scary
Steel Iron Mask. Good to see you as well. I am
scary in many ways. I would like you to know
that this young lady here is one of my good friends.
You've never met me before. Oh, Miss Clarence.
Fine. Well, things seem to have taken an exciting
turn. Did you hear there's going to be a duel
tomorrow? Yes, I heard. Because someone is apparently
with child. And not by Mr. LaFoy. Someone else.
Why, that is a hot piece of gossip, Miss Clarence.
No, not gossip at all. I would never repeat gossip.
Oh, so you've heard from the young lady herself.
Oh, I will find out where this is from. Do not
worry, but it is all true. I must say I'm a bit
confused, but... That's all right. It happens
to the best of us. Yes, it does. Mr. Weller,
not everyone can understand the tenets as well
as I do, and I am here to help you with that.
Oh, no, don't trouble yourself unduly. I'm perfectly
happy with my understanding of the dance. All
right. To that end, might I have a dance, Ms.
Rhinelander? I will, because I don't have my
mask on right now, because I did take it off.
You could have put it back on. I don't know.
I don't know what you were doing when you were
spreading your rumor. No, I think I didn't have
my mask on when I was spreading the rumor on
purpose. I think I will. Yeah, I think I will
curtsy. And I think I'm going to give a look
to Edgewater, a similar look to what I did when
I was trying to embody the tenants the other
day while we were practicing. Somebody asked
me to dance, so I'm going to do it. because it's
courteous. I'm sorry, Mr. Weller. You know that
we have a host of this party. He has asked the
attendance of Lady Rhinelander and myself and
Ms. Smith. We must go see him right now. She
will have to take a rain check. Ah, well, we'd
hate to keep our esteemed host waiting. Of course.
What a gentleman. Sorry, I have a quick question.
Take that back. He smirks at you. I'm going to
freaking kill this guy. Just kidding. I'm going
to cast a surface level detect thoughts on him.
There is no save against that unless you go deeper,
correct? I believe that is the case. I can hear
the surface level of what he's thinking. God
damn it. It is getting much harder to get her
alone. Daniel, no. Daniel licked his lips. No.
Daniel. Scared? No. Scared? Aroused? And you
do detect some thoughts that would make Miss
Clarence blush. No. And is it a wisdom or charisma
saving throw? Oh, if you want to try to probe
deeper? I believe it is a wisdom save. Do you
care that he's going to know that Mary Smith
is trying to burrow into his brain? I think I'm
going to wait to do that until I maybe talk more
with Ruby or it really pops off. But you definitely
detect that he wants to get her alone. Yeah.
For reasons that would make Clarence blush. Is
the feeling that it's purely an improper desire
to get her alone? Or there's some other ulterior
motive? Whatever the desires are, they're improper.
Yeah. Okay. I will wait. You know what? I'll
let you make an insight check. Okay. Thank you.
If I cast True Strike on him, can I get an advantage
on the insight? Because that's normally to, like,
then if you make a charisma check or whatever.
I believe they're both concentration effects.
Okay. I'll just do it in a second. And just as
a reminder, the true strike that Mary Smith uses
is a modified version that is finding social
weaknesses. So she gets advantage on a social
deduction check. I get a plus nine. Yes, yes,
yes. So 13 plus nine, 21. Detecting thoughts
gives you some insight into his motivation. It
isn't incredibly clear. You got something to
add there? I'm sorry. It's very improper slurping.
Actually, improper slurping is, in fact, the
sort of bedrock of the desires. But there is
also a... What kind of technique? There is also
an undercurrent of cold ambition attached to
that. Take that as you will. So we'll take Ruby
and haul her off to the throne. I will be cashing
in that rain check as soon as you're available.
Sounds good. This is going to be fully Daniel
right now. Can I make a deception check? Because
this is the first time that I am feeling a little
uncomfy with this man. Yes. Okay. What is the
source of the uncomfy? The source of the uncomfy
for me, truthfully, is the fact that I had the
moment of this man pops up whenever we talk about
him. Okay. And having for the first time yesterday
or the day before, Daniel's forgetting, needing
to take head of a business, Ruby's having the
first moment where she's like, actually, I think
I need to focus on me. and not somebody else.
Girlboss. Yeah, make a... What is... You asked
to make a deception check. What are you deceiving?
I basically... Why I want to make a deception
check is because I said he asked to get a rain
check on the dance and basically I don't know
if I want to dance with him again. I was like,
sounds good. But you don't want him to know that
you're cooling off. Yeah, I don't want him to
know. Is that okay? And I think the feeling of
if you're out with your friends and all of a
sudden they are like, that guy's no good. We're
watching him. If you fail this roll, I'm going
to be very disappointed in you. I got a 23 deception.
He got a 4 on the die. What an idiot. Definitely
not a 19. Did I not mention that he is actually
some kind of ancient dragon? Oh, okay. I knew
it. We both expected that. Yeah, no. So he's
like, oh, fantastic. Looking forward to it. Great.
This dude could not imagine someone not wanting
to dance with him. He thinks he's so slick. I
mean, you're saying a lot. Maybe true. All right.
So you guys are all heading up to... To the dais
where... Where did he just abandon? You would
have all heard the announcement that I'm mingling
in the dance now. Well, that's the only place
where we know to find him. So we're heading to
the dais. We'll all just stand there looking
awkwardly. We could try to find Mr. Salt. Because
we've been spreading some rumors that do pertain
to him and his charges. So maybe we should give
him a heads up. As we're walking, we're just
like, Oh, Mr. Salt? Oh, right. I do need to speak
with Mr. Drake. With Lord Drake. There is something,
however, that does catch your eye, though. There
is a large elf -eared gentleman in a basset hound
mask. Oh, no. That has found a young drow lady
in a full web of veil and a clinging black evening
gown, the bodice of which cinches in and is a
bright red and then goes to an extended sort
of lace webbing skirt. What? did she get that
lace that must be so expensive uh it is we would
recognize it as very much uh spirit halloween
kind of a oh so expensive is this giving like
black widow spider oh and he has found her by
the refreshments ladies ladies a proposal is
coming Incoming right now. Wait. And Gladstone
gets down on one knee and withdraws a ring box
and looks at Nigella and just says, Miss Razorstorm,
I am a man of few words. I am not a learned man,
but I'm an honest man. I am a man who follows
his heart and his heart has led him to you. And
If you would do me the honor, I would humbly
ask that you join me for the rest of my life
as I allow my heart to be guided by someone who
is possibly more wise, but I feel is truly as
honest and as caring as I. Nigella looks at him,
pulls back the veil. Oh, Gladstone, Mr. Clarence.
Not if you were the last man in Neobritannia.
I could not attach myself to a family that accepts
such casual cruelty as would befall my sister.
If you do not understand, you are a fool. What?
And I cannot and will not accept your proposal.
And turns and walks away. Gladstone looks. Crushed.
Oh, Edgewater runs over to him. Gladstone's just
like, uh, uh, uh, uh. Gladstone. Uh, uh, Edgewater.
It's all right. Everything's going to be all
right. Um, uh, Edgewater, everybody look at me.
I'm going to, um. It's all right. Let's go to
that, over to the hedges. I'm going to take a,
um, I think I should, um. I think I'm gonna take
courage and I'm gonna get home. You alright?
Of course, of course. I feel like I might put
a damper on the evening for you. Oh no, you could
never, Gladstone. No, no, you enjoy. You have
a good night. I'm gonna head home. Be careful.
You go home with Miss Roundlander. She'll drop
you off at the house. I gotta go. And he walks
briskly to the door. Alright, this is it. Edgewater.
Oh boy. Squares up. Oh boy. I hold Ruby's hand
and I'm like, oh god. She is walking. Yeah, a
girl can't walk that fast. Yes! Yes. She walks
up to Nigella, taps her on the shoulder. So she
turns around and then hauls one right across.
Everyone's catching hands. Yeah, baby. Double
honor. Gender equality. This is feminist. Make
an attack roll. Yes. Okay. That's a 19. Oh, yeah.
She ain't that fast. You slap the crap out of
her. I will see you tomorrow in the dome. That's
my cousin. Yes, girl. She recovers and moves
her jaw. You're at least showing some heart.
You didn't show that when you loudly berated
my sister. and cost her her engagement. Good
to know there is some humanity in you. I look
forward to meeting you tomorrow. And she turns
on her heel and walks away. Ruby loses all decorum,
still doesn't have a mask on, and goes, yeah,
and bring somebody else because I'm jumping in.
I can't. I hate you. Why would you say that?
fully inside of a hedge right now. Also, when
I broke off my engagement, I said it much better
than you did. Well, so things are occurring.
One will not say that your ball has been unmemorable.
Harmony. Harmony. Harmony. And at least the three
of you are aware the queen has observed all of
this. And I love it. So there is a moment where
everyone kind of just like absolutely gobsmacked
because holy shit, a lot just happened. It seems
there is like a Hatfield -McCoy feud about to
erupt. Fuck, yes. We have now gotten... Not one,
but two Honor Dome challenges for the morning.
Oh, no. Oh, no. I feel like that's always how
it happens. One person is like, I'm going to
duel you, and then everyone's just like, I want
to duel you. Actually, I have some things I want
to clear up. And then there is like a tap of
a baton on a music stand, and the music restarts.
Oh, I thought we were up for... Okay. Okay. All
right. And the music restarts and everyone sort
of starts to awkwardly get back to mingling and
dancing and murmuring. Can I do one thing? Absolutely.
I'm going to find Lord Drake. Lord Drake's trying
to find Edgewater. Like somehow in the crowd,
the murmurs are just like, did you see Miss Clarence
just slap somebody? He's like, oh, no. And I
walk up. If I can find him, I walk up to Lord
Drake and I say, you, sir, need to understand.
that the woman you are most clearly interested
in, who is the gem of the season, just declared
to fight in the Honor Dome, and I expect you
to be there as well to either support her or
fight along her side. I don't know the rules
above the Honor Dome, and I don't care. But if
you were an honorable man, which I suspect you
are, make sure she's ready for that. Miss Rhinelander,
I appreciate the sentiment with which you approach
me. You as her best friend, you've known her
longer than I. She can hold her own in a fight.
I do know that, but I also know that she really
likes it when you are fighting. So I'm being
supportive. There's a quick glance just to make
sure everybody has gone back to the dancing,
or at least there's whispering about what just
happened. The dancing has returned, and there's
definitely a subset of people who are like, oh,
damn, this happens all the time? Holy shit, what
have we been missing? The servants are living
for this. Oh, my God. Is Trudy having the best
night of her life? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Samuel
will lean, almost like he's trying to look at
something past you, so that way his voice will
project through the mask right into your ear.
I do plan to be at the Honor Dome, but I might
have my hands tied. If I can intercede, I will.
You have my word. All right. I also need you
to do me a favor. Will this be two favors you
now owe me? I need you to lead me into a back
room so that I can disguise myself so that I'm
not followed by Ruben. Oof. Or I need some place
to do that. Miss Rhinelander, I've heard your
father has not yet recovered. I was thinking
perhaps we can compare notes on medicinal herbs
that are common in my land and see if there might
be something that could help him. Would you mind
coming with me? Oh, yes, that would be great.
Thank you, Lord Drake. And I will... I'll come
along to chaperone. Oh my god, I didn't realize
you were here. I emerged directly out of the
edge. The Homer Simpson meme finally... I'm
here. Alright, thank you. So you do a quick into
the house. You know, I was trying to get to Miss
Clarence to check on her. You know, there's a
lot going on. There's like, I think... We started
a rumor to defend Mr. Lefroy's honor. Lord... Mr.
Seltzer. I can't do this. This is awful. Lord
Lefroy, Mr. Seltzer. I hate it. There's a lot
going on. Also, Ruben is giving... Ruben, I would
suggest... I don't know what's going on here.
Let's just call him that guy. All right. Just
call him that guy. I just like he appears whenever
I talk about him. Exactly, yeah. You know, it's
just, I don't know why. I know you're a little
haunted, like we talked about before. Samuel
at that... Oh, I'll nod to him. Did you know that
this is Belladonna? You're Belladonna? Yeah,
okay, okay, shush, Samuel. My God. None of you
people know how to be subtle. But I will say,
that's a great idea. And remembering the image
of... what I saw behind me like this older version
of me I'm gonna cast disguise self and that's
what I'm gonna... oh god... I'm gonna do with like
a little just... with a little green ribbon mask.
Oh boy. Ruby you always know how to escalate to
a point where it's uncomfortable but also effective
so well done. Thank you. Should I try an old woman
voice? No please. Oh, there it is. I am Ruby, not
Ruby. Ruby, not Ruby. I'm Rosamund. Oh. Oh. Okay.
Anyway, what were we talking about? I'm going
to... I just need to disguise self here. Right.
Honor Dome tomorrow. Be there, be square. Both
of you here, how is Miss Clarence? Shit. Okay.
Shit. Well, she, I'm going to, listen, friend
to friend. Talk and walk. Yeah, we're going to
talk and walk while we go to look at herbs. She
bodied that lady. She slapped her so hard across
the face. I think you're going to see fingerprints
on her cheek the next day. Actually, I'm so sorry.
The only way to upstage what just happened is
if you propose to her tonight. And if you are
going to get engaged to the gem of the season,
I think tonight's the night to do it. No pressure.
It has gotten dark. And the Aurora Arcanum is
out in force tonight. Oh, my. Pretty romantic.
Badly whispered. Did you tell her? Yeah, I did.
Well, about me. No, not about you. You were going
to propose to her anyway. I didn't say it. I
just assumed to save face that somebody would
propose, but I mean. Well, someone, Ruby, someone
did, and it didn't go. Right. So, okay, great.
You're going to do it? Great. Okay. She'll say
yes, just so you know. He didn't say that. He
didn't say that he was going to say it. This
poor bastard. I know you just got here. Okay.
Okay. Rewind. Rewind, everyone. Everyone take
a deep breath. Okay. Seance style. Deep breath.
Okay. Okay, yeah, there it is. Everyone's calm
now. Samuel's walking. Samuel, no! Samuel is
a thousand percent done with this nonsense. Listen,
you did the masked ball, okay? You're the one who
wanted drama here, okay? There's drama now. And
now, to cap it off, you have two options. Option
one, proposal to our dear friend slash acquaintance.
Option two, duel for your honor. You can do both,
but I think it will make it less romantic if
the proposal's also like, P .S., this other guy
I'm going to duel. With your partner. That would
also be. No, she's got enough tomorrow. A couple's
duel. Yeah, a couple's duel. Like a double date,
but to the death. That's what I thought this
was. Anyway, we should probably go back in. Yeah.
Can you both do me a favor? I'm going to Miss
Clarence. Yep. For what purpose? You'll find
out. Okay. You started a rumor to help Mr. Seltzer
and his reputation. I rolled a zero on my perception
check earlier. I have no idea about that situation.
Oh, it's honestly really, really... I believe
Miss Fiona, for some reason, has decided to try
to tank Mr. Lefroy's reputation. No, no, no.
Oh. No. Zoe. And I think what we will do is we
will just download all the information about
what we spread and all the information about
what happened to you. Okay. Yeah. I'm calling
in one of the favors you now owe me. Great. Please
find Mr. Salt. Let him know. Hopefully the plan's
still on. Deliver that message for me and make
sure he's okay. All right. We'll take care of
our acquaintance. Friend. Cousin. Betrothed. And
Ruby just goes in her old woman voice, I can't
wait to be an auntie! St. Linda. Samuel, what
do you need from me? I just... Well, you said
that to Ruby. That was both of you. Okay. Okay.
I mean, you seem a little nervous. I walk back,
I grab your hand, and we go. Let's get this show
on the road. But I want to vamp more. Please,
no. Okay, so you two are heading out looking
for Mr. Salt. We are. Okay. Make a perception
check as you get outside. I got a 15. I got a
13, but that's really good for me. Fantastic.
That's great. The dance floor is aglow. People
have gone back to dancing, but it's actually
like literally aglow. It looks like there's flame
around people. Light lavender and blue and green
flame. Like outlining a whole bunch of people
on the dance floor. And they seem, a lot of them
seem amused. Like, oh, well, this is quaint.
And interesting. Beautiful hues. There is one
couple that seems concerned. In the center of
the blaze is Horatio Wolfe and Elena Razorstorm.
And Horatio is looking around absolutely panicked.
Can I cast Detect Magic on the dance floor? Oh
yeah, there's definitely a fairy fire effect
that has been cast. It is being maintained by
the life force of Horatio Wolf. And he seems
scared. Make another perception check. You can
either make perception or insight. You called
it. Make advantage. 22. I got a natural 20. All
right. So a couple things are noticed. One, Miranda
is panicked. and is looking around, and finally
locks eyes, and you see Connor Carson look at
her and shake his head and make a gesture that
would indicate, leave it, I've got it. I'm going
to relay that to you immediately, Mary. I'm going
to very quickly pull you near a hedge again.
Hedge time. Connor, I don't know what he is doing.
He is doing something. He's been blackmailing
Lord Sparks for... the entire time I have been
in that house. Moving through the crowd is Edison
Sparks, headed straight for Horatio. Okay, I'm
gonna... Do I have time to get over to Horatio?
You are gonna be... You're gonna have to run
through a crowd. It will be clear that you are running
at this person. There is no way to mask this.
Can I mask a misty step? Wow. No, you can't mask
a misty step. You are literally going to appear
somewhere. That's your call if you want to do
it. I mean, Edison is going to make it there
before you if you just go overland. I'm going
to transform fully into Belladonna with my mask
off so it's very clear that it's Belladonna.
Okay. And I'm going to misty step right in front
of him between him and Lord Sparks. Okay. And
I'm going to point at him as if I'm casting magic,
but I'm not. You're going to point at Horatio?
No, at Lord Sparks. Oh. He comes up short and
is like, Oh, Madam Belladonna, I didn't realize
you were invited here. Why would I not be? I didn't
realize there was a seance on the... plan for
the evening but you know Lord Drake, he likes
to make a big splash but um so uh actually Lady
Belladonna uh Miss Belladonna, Madam Belladonna.
What is exactly your... Madam Belladonna um uh what
what are you I... I have um something to attend
to right now uh or is this is this you're doing
all of this fantastic mystical this spectacle
yes. Not me. Ah well that is um quite the surprise.
I'm going to cast Prestidigitation, or Minor Illusion,
whichever one makes more sense. An orb will appear
in my hand, and I'll say, Much conflict has ensued
at this ball intended to create harmony. Someone
else among our number seeks discord. Well, that's
a fantastic forecast. Oh no, that's terrible.
Is this a warning meant specifically for me?
I'm going to look around. I'm going to look at
Horatio and try to do an insight check on if
he has any idea what's going on or if he is just
being targeted. Make an insight check. 19. You're
actually familiar with this reaction. It's a
very similar reaction that... Nicodemus had when
he had to admit what was going on with him. That
he had a power he couldn't control. There's a
bit of fear. There's a bit of shame. I'm gonna
put my hand on his forehead. You're gonna reach
out and grab Horatio by the noggin? Yeah, mystically.
You're gonna need a little bit more...
Mystically. You're just gonna turn around and
be like, palm his face. Yeah, yeah. basically.
Okay I'm not an expert. Yes I'm an expert and
I'm gonna close my eyes and I will say this young
man has protection beyond my understanding and
then I'm going to walk out of the dance floor.
I'm legitimately sweating right now. Horatio looks
around and briskly walks off the dance floor.
And he's just like, and he just power walks out
of there. And Elena looks around and goes to
follow him. But Nigella stops her. So Horatio
goes out into the hedges. Maybe there are too
many edges. No, I think this is the right amount
of hedges. Connor and Miranda are looking at each
other. Connor is looking at Edison. Edison is
glaring at Connor and Edison storms off. Connor
goes back to acting like nothing's happening.
Miranda is looking towards the hedges but is
unsure what to do. Is the fairy fire still in
effect? It fades after about a minute or so.
Still don't know what that was, but seems fine
now. I think I fixed it. It's all good. Yeah.
By palming my face. Yeah, yeah. While this is
all happening, can I see Mr. Salt at all? He's
a very tall man. He's the second tallest person
here. All right. While this is going on, can
I just go? He's at the bar getting a couple of
drinks. I'm going to go over, and I am just,
Ruby's just going to download all of the information
of everything that happened first. Oh, hey. At
the bar. At the bar. Cool. How loudly? Good.
Can I roll an insight to see if I recognize the
behavior of Miss Rhinelander having been approached
in this I've got a lot of things to tell you
kind of way a few times now? Yeah, yeah. She
came in pretty hot with the whole, you know how
to fix dolls, right? You fix dolls? How do you
see? Ever look over someone's shoulder? I forgot
to take the spiders off. Okay. Stop it. Ooh,
that's a nine. Are you trying to hide your intention
in any way? I think I fully forget to put on
the voice and I go, Oh, okay. So it's an old
woman. It sounds like, and I come over and I
do, I do still have spiders on. Cause I'm an
old woman with spiders. Cause I didn't think
about that. You start talking like that. And
he turns back to the bartender. He goes, uh,
single actually. I go, you come here. I have
some things to tell you. All right. I'm going
to. Okay, and I... Shuffle a little bit away
from the bar. I grab you by your shirt and I
drag you in. He leans six feet down to your face.
Yeah, I put my hands up. And at a 110 degree
angle. If you were reaching up and grabbing,
it wasn't his shirt that you grabbed. Yeah, I
grab... Yeah, no, I'm not going to say that.
You reach and he just... No, no, no, no, no.
It's fine. He squats, He kneels. I go, all right,
I need you to know that we... As in we, me, Mary,
and Edgewater have taken on the interest of your
young boy, I guess, as you have described him.
We have spread a rumor to protect his honor because
I think he - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Very
much appreciated, but quiet down. All right,
I'm sorry. I'm having a good time. He rubs his
cheek and he goes, me too. Good. Also, very excited
about the Honor Dome tomorrow. So good to get
back. But what I will say is there are some other
events that are going to happen tonight, but
Lord Drake wanted you to know that the plan is
still on. Loud and clear. If you see him, let
him know he has his man. All right. If I see
him, let's cross our fingers. Best of luck. I
look forward to seeing what you look like next
time we encounter each other. And I say, I much
prefer this to the mask. Oh, well, this is the
face that I see behind my... I completely take
it back. You took that way older than I was intending,
but sure, go for it. And I skulk off into the
crowd. Samuel. Is this romantic enough for you?
The party is... Swinging. A thing. Where are
you headed? Coming back out of the house. Yeah,
it's one of those best I can do is I'm trying
to find Miss Clarence, Edgewater. I'm not great
at locating things through my eyesight. but I
am able to read people better. Could I potentially
feel the vibes of the party and see where things
are getting a little more salacious because they
happen to be near Edgewater who just slapped
across a lady of the ton? Crazy, but sure. Four.
So good. There has been so much happening here.
In the middle of the dance floor. Mary's like,
no, the spirits! The spirits! There has been
so much bonkers nonsense occurring at this party
that you're just like, I don't know. And it's
just, you're momentarily, you're starting to
get that slight tunnel vision, the underwater
hearing, and it's just like, oh no, oh no, oh
no. And then, Lord Drake. Very interesting party
you have decided to throw. Who do I see before
me? A hunched woman in an owl mask and an owl
cloak. And I don't recognize this person at all.
Thank you, my lady. Oh, do you address all the
help like that? I think all the help should be
treated with as much respect as possible. Very
interesting. Go on. I thank you for, I believe,
what was a compliment. But this is quickly getting
out of hand. Too bad Her Majesty decided to snub
you. Her Majesty may do as she pleases. It would
have been an honor to see her here, but I choose
to believe she's enjoying herself. And I think
we all... deserve to live happily. You're very
wise for a Wildlander. And she stands up and
the mask falls back and she stands to her full
height which is not inconsiderable. The eye patch
now is a full feathered half mask with glittering
diamonds over one eye. Deep bow, your majesty.
Lord Drake, this is quite the festivity. And
the night doesn't seem to be over yet. I can't
wait to see what you have planned for the rest
of the evening. I wouldn't want to presume, but
would your majesty accept my escort to the throne,
which belongs to you? I would find that most
agreeable. Perfect. And the dance floor, like,
parts. If it was recorded, there would be a record
scratch on the music. It is like the vibe has
drastically shifted in this party. So you walk
the queen up to the throne, which she sits upon
with almost a weird sort of, oh, it's a throne.
I fit here. And she weirdly looks like she fits
here. There is a presence that is palpable. She
turns to Lord Drake and says, Don't let me keep
you from your hosting duties. I'll simply observe.
Well, actually, Your Majesty, and this is not
meant to ignore your wishes, but tonight was
supposed to be about embracing the wild, a union
between two different societies. Would you mind
bearing witness to a union I would like to make?
Carry on. And so I'm sure eyes are over here.
Oh, abso-fucking-lutely they are. Samuel will turn
towards the party. If Miss Clarence could please
join me. Like I feel like everybody looks at
Edgewater and like I feel like for Edgewater
everybody ducks down like two feet. It doesn't...
it doesn't really happen but she feels like everyone
ducks down like two feet so she's the only one
standing awkwardly tall and looking at everyone
else. Somehow the spotlight from the non-existent...
Yes exactly. It's right on her and she's like
oh god. Like she doesn't even know what to do
right now. What is the protocol? And then you see
her shake her head and go, of course. And she walks
up to the dais. As you're walking, Samuel's like,
I prepared for this. Reaches into his inner breast
pocket and actually pulls out two gloves. And
puts them on. So thoughtful. Cutie. And will
take your hands when you approach. And if you
felt like a spotlight was on you, instantly he
blacks out to the rest of the ball. And is just
staring into your eyes. Miss Clarence, Edgewater,
I've come to know many people throughout the
course of my life, but my time with you has stood
out for so many fantastic reasons. It's inspiring
how devotedly you dedicate yourself to the rules
of society and ensuring those around you live
what you feel is the ideal path. Yet, it's in
the moments that you faltered that I look back
on the most fondly. The woman who told me she
was ready to break into her best friend's house,
I found charming. The woman who brandished a
chainsword at our first meeting caught my interest.
The woman who cheered me to kick down a door
encouraged me. The woman I caught staring at
me enthralled me. The woman who coached me on
being a proper gentleman comforted me. And the
woman who fought beside me won me. I've seen
that there are so many facets to the beautiful
gem that you are, and I would be the luckiest
man to get to know every single one. I said to
you a few nights ago that I took a chance with
my late husband, and that I wanted to take another
chance by staying to dance with you that evening.
This evening, would you make me the luckiest
man and take a chance on me? and accept an offer
for marriage. Yes! Yes, of course, Lord Drake,
yes! There is applause, and there is a... The
queen has a slight smirk of approval, and there
is joy. I do believe there is one point of order,
especially in light of the acceptance of the
marriage proposal. Your Majesty, I don't mean
to bring up such salacious details, but the late
Lord Drake's title has never been officially
transferred, as there is no standing certificate
for marriage. So for Miss Clarence to come to
marry this individual who is of uncertain title...
It could present complications. I don't know
if your majesty would wish to bless such a union
that could throw the peerage into disarray. Desmond
has stepped out. How dare you, Gammabloom. You
cannot presume to say what the queen wishes.
A strong but comforting hand on your shoulder.
You've done enough fighting for tonight. Okay,
yeah, that's true. Yeah, probably true. Lieutenant
Desmond. I did not realize we were on a first
-name basis, Lord Drake. So surprised to see
you address me when you never even dared to look
at my eyes when I negotiated with my husband.
I believe Henry had left the marriage certificate
in your care, and you were to see that delivered.
He left me one envelope to mail, and I have dutifully
sent that out. Did you? And you're sure it would
have arrived at its intended destination? Are
you calling the military's postal services into
question? No, Lieutenant. I'm calling your honor
into question. Because I have the marriage certificate
entrusted to a true friend of my late husband.
And Salt makes his way up the stairs. Not the
entire military. And he bows, Your Majesty. Lord
Drake. Desmond. He reaches into his pocket and
hands the envelope to Lord Drake. Both letters,
the one Henry sent me and the marriage certificate.
This is the signed certificate showing that my
husband wed me in the right state of mind and
in good health. And this letter states that he
had a suspicion that the man to his right would
be sticking a knife in his back. Lieutenants
used to mean something. And yet you were the
one with him when he died. Suspicious, that.
It feels like this is a deflection, Mr. Drake.
Desmond, I made the first strike. It seems you're
deflecting. But if you want to continue this
slander, my honor, as a lord, I believe there's
certain protocols. Yeah, baby. Would you like
me to strike first, or would you like the honor?
Protocol dictates that an enlisted man knows
his place. I turn to Her Majesty. Your Majesty,
please forgive my ignorance. Could an enlisted
man perhaps enlist a champion to fight on his
behalf? It would be allowed, yes. Not even a
word. Just look back at Desmond with a cocked
eyebrow. Just go on. Very well, then. And you
are struck with a glove. Tomorrow, then? Tomorrow,
yes. And will you be enlisting a champion to
fight your battles for you? Oh, no need. Mr.
Salt has his own issues to worry about. I'm a
man who stands on his own. My people have a way
of settling things. I'm sorry. You get to hide
behind your military honor. Well, there should
be no hiding tomorrow. Until then, sir. And he
turns on his well -maintained boots and strides
out. That squeak always drove me nuts. Well,
Lord Drake, quite the eventful festivities. Your
Majesty, I apologize for the theatrics. That
was the only one I intended. Understood. And
the queen settles just back into the throne and
looks at the orchestra and gives a little clap.
And everything starts back up again. Salt will
look at the newly engaged couple and say, yes,
apologies for going off script earlier. And he
looks like beaming at the two of you. Well done
tonight, you two. And bows to the queen and makes
his way back to the dance floor. And I run up
as soon as that happens. And I go, I called it.
I knew this was going to happen. Ever since I
locked you in a room together. Oh, my God. The
door was off its hinges. The queen just sort of inclines her head.
The door was off the hinges and Ruby was also
there. I say locked in a room. My dad's in a
coma. So we have heard. Yeah. Also, you know,
I'm just. really happy for you both. I just,
um, this is great. You deserve this, Miss Clarence.
Or Mrs. Drake. It's a bit early for that. Alright,
sorry. I got excited. But also, uh, so let me
just take a tally. So you're going to the Honor
Dome? Let's let Her Majesty enjoy the music.
Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, your Majesty. Very considerate,
Lord Drake. I had good coaching. I approve. Yes.
I'm behind a hedge. I'm like, hell yeah. She
did it. So Ruby basically just spends the next
10 minutes being like, wait, you're going to
the Honor Dome. You're going to the Honor Dome.
You're going to the Honor Dome. I don't know
if I'm going to the Honor Dome because I... You
have to be there. I need one of you to be my
second. Oh, I pop back up. Okay. Oh, thank God.
I chose the right hedge. I was just guessing.
Wait, who do you hate? God, where do I start?
First off, I do a long list. With Uncle Edison.
So I'm fully Mary Smith again at this point.
And I have flipped the outer part of my pants
skirt around so that I look lumpy again. Just
to, you know, hedge my bets. If you will. If
you will. And I think in between, I want to have
maybe tried to talk to Horatio or I want to try
to corner him at some point, but I'll sort of
catch them up on what I saw and that I just reacted
and I don't really know what's going on. Okay.
If you were going to be present for that whole
thing. No, I wasn't. No, I was off in hedges.
Okay, so you're going to try to... Okay, we're
going to roll this whole thing back. You're going
to try to follow Horatio. Yeah, I want to try
to follow Horatio, and I want to approach him as
Belladonna. He is pacing out by a fountain. Mr.
Wolfe. Huh? I don't mean to startle you. Well,
you did. Ah, yes. Fair. I am terribly sorry.
It's just I'm not used to people palming my face.
Horatio. Ah, yes. Calm yourself. Ah, very difficult
right now. I'm terribly sorry. I, with my spiritual
powers... What is happening with me? What is
going on? I was hoping you would tell me. I don't
know. That is why I am discomfited. Goddammit.
Shit. Okay. I mean, darn. I will tell you what
I observed, yes? Do. Do, please, yes. You freaked
out. Connor Carson, upset. Angry. Wait, what?
Your mother, also upset. I don't understand.
I don't either, but I don't like it. I don't
like it either. I'm causing people to glow on
fire and it's... No, no. No, no, sweet baby.
Okay. I pat him on... I kind of massage his trap
real quick. Oh, oh, oh. Relax, relax, relax.
Physical contact. Relax. Uncomfortable. Oh, wow.
You really are touch starved, aren't you? Okay.
Oh, wow. Don't love this. I need you to see me
as a representative of the spiritual truths of
our world. Do you think the spirit world is trying
to do something to me and that's why it's lighting
everyone on fire? No, no, no, no. Sweet angel,
no. What's happening? What are the spiritual
truths that you can share? Many. Many, many,
many. I'll take one. Yes. Okay. Okay. I crack
my neck. I try to get in the zone. My sweet young
man. Sometimes the spiritual truths of this world
are that it is not spirits who are... Not worthy
of our trust. I don't understand. You keep saying
that. But it's still true. And it's not helpful.
Madame Belladonna, do you know what is happening
with me or not? I believe... I know somebody
who has a similar reaction to you. Someone who
has a surge of magic that comes upon him. who
does not control when that happens, who does
not know why it happens, but who has powerful
magic. And others occasionally use it for their
benefit, monetarily or otherwise. She kind of
stares off into the distance as if, oh, should
I reconsider what I'm doing there? Who else knows?
Of your innate gift. Well, apparently everyone
that saw that I lit up everything. No, no, no.
I don't know that everyone knows where it came
from. Only those such as myself with powers.
I have confided in Miss Elena. She's been my
truest friend for many years now. I hate to ask
a sensitive question. But I simply must for the
spiritual welfare of the ton. I know that Miss
Elena is a trusted confidant. Yes, truest friend.
That's what I just said. Yes, that's what the
spirits told me as well. Who in particular do
you not trust to know this? gift. I don't think
I understand. I need you to focus up so hard
right now. I need you to really buckle down and
focus. And I'm going to try and give him the
help action to give him a kind of insight check
to what's going on. You know what? We're rolling.
This is bonkers. Okay, you know what? 17 with
a little bit of a bonus. That, to me, sounds
very good. The spirits told me so. The spirits
say that's enough for a full answer. I mean,
certain things have been happening for a little
while now. Approximately, I don't know, a number
of months. How many? How many? I'm not sure.
You're pressuring me. Okay, fine. Keep going.
Keep going. I've noticed that people either seem
to be fascinated or off -put by me. And then
all of a sudden I'm manifesting this fire. I
know my... I know Mama has been asking if anything
has been occurring with me. And it's been...
I thought she was just worried about my social
prospects, but she's been very persistent, and
I didn't want to worry her by telling her. Are
the Spirits speaking with you? Oh, yes, yeah,
currently, yes. Yes, yes, people of the Aether
were speaking to me. Horatio, you have done nothing
wrong. I didn't think I did. You are a good boy.
And I think you need to lay low and just pretend
you don't know that you have magic for a little
bit longer. So you're saying ignore the problem
and it will go away. Yes, exactly. That seems
like a very healthy approach. You are so clever.
You're so clever. Yes, I should go to our country
home. Indeed, yes. And pretend nothing's happening.
Yes. Is it by the water? You could have the breezes.
Very healthy. Oh, no, no. That's too... Yeah, never
mind. Croquet? Yes. A hobby? A hobby? I do love
a good turn of croquet. Yes, I could tell. The
spirits told me. Okay. It's been truly a gift
from beyond to encounter you in this hedge. How
long will I have to ignore things for them to
go back to normal? Honestly, I would say only
a couple days. I don't think it'll be relevant
after that. So if I ignore things, then it will
go back to normal? It will either go back to
normal or get better. You are an odd one. I am
communing with the spirits. Many find it odd.
But for some reason, I trust you. There's a confidence.
Yes. Well, yes. I should pack my bags tonight.
I will say, let Elena know beforehand. Oh, of
course. She's my truest friend. Yes, exactly.
This has been awkward and very unquieting. I've
never heard that before. Goodbye. Goodbye. We're
both sort of standing here. We both have to go
back to the party. I kind of moonwalk back into
there. It's the Simpsons meme. It is, again,
the Simpsons meme, yeah. Back into the hedge.
Emily. I'm sorry. Listen, he was stupider than
I thought he would be. I did what I could. There
are very few moments that make me cry. Last night
and today. I think I handled that really well.
I'm going to go see my friends again. And we
rejoin the show in progress. What happened? What
did I miss? And Mary is caught up. Yeah, we catch
up Mary. Oh, wow. Shocking. Congratulations.
Congratulations. But also like. Honor Dome, Honor
Dome, Honor Dome? Yeah, but you need to be there,
obviously. So who do I need to slap to get invited
so you can be in with us? Lord Drake. Hardiest
congratulations. They're all pointing to... Dagger eyes.
Mr. Weller. Quite the memorable party that people
will be talking about for years. And most hearty
congratulations on your engagement, the both
of you. It's very kind of you. Miss Rhinelander,
I was wondering if I could have that dance in
celebration of your friend's betrothal. Oh, yes.
I think a dance would be all right. Fantastic.
And he offers his arm. Low. And I will take it.
And I will lurk. Can I insight check? You don't
need to. Lord Drake, I don't believe that Ruby
is comfortable with Mr. Weller. I don't quite
know how to stop this dance, but we must. All
I can think of is stabbing him. Swoon! Swoon!
Oh! I could! We need a bit more, like, we need
to go towards the center of the room more. As
you are dancing, Ruben picks you up to a familiar
sitting -upon -arm sort of posture. and is sort
of whirling you about. So, how have you been
enjoying tonight? A more exciting party I don't
think I have yet seen. Gets the blood flowing,
don't you think? Yeah, I think there's just been
a lot going on. What do you, um... There seemed
to be, like, some... disturbances going on before
the big proposal, which, of course, is the moment
everybody tonight will remember, right? Oh, so
very many, but that hopefully will be the standout.
What else have you heard? Oh, there was an entire
fracas with that Miss Henson and Mr. Seltzer.
Still hearing sort of conflicting stories about
that, but it seems like quite the juicy gossip.
And then there was, of course, the unfortunate
incident with Miss Clarence's elder brother and
the rather unnecessarily harsh refusal of that
proposal. And then Miss Clarence having a pointed
and definitive response to same. Well, you know,
it's interesting because, you know, for a few
weeks now or a few days, I don't know how long
time actually goes. I get it. How long has Gladstone
been courting Nigella? Like six, seven days.
Great. Long, long time. You know, in these past
few days, I have heard that Nigella has been
answering Mr. Clarence's calls. And it seems
that tonight was some sort of performance from
her. And honestly, it is deeply disturbing. to
me that somebody would lead somebody on like
that and coming from somebody who has learned
from her mistakes I feel pity for Miss Nigella
and everything that she is going through. I can
only imagine. So to think that someone would be
going through the motions of courting for that
kind of time and then not reciprocate those feelings
is antithetical to your beliefs. It's not necessarily
antithetical to my beliefs, but I do think that
it was a bit misleading from someone being on
the other side. I'm going to be fully honest.
I don't think I understood that I was leading
people on before. And I don't know if Nigella
understands what she is doing, but she's breaking
some hearts. I... I think I understand what you're
saying. And he leans in and full on kisses you
on the dance floor. Whoa. I am. I think Edgewater
actually swoons wherever she is. I think I push
him off and I'm going to. slap him, but as I
slap him, there's a fan that appears in my hand
and I slap him across the face. You're going
to Eldritch Blast him? I'm going to Eldritch
Blast him. While standing on his forearm? While
standing on his forearm. Because I am fully caught
off guard. Okay. Yeah. And I, if it helps, I
am just off the dance floor. That's at disadvantage
because that's a ranged attack. That's still
a 21 to hit. Oddly enough, the rippling tattoos
are not giving him any armor. And I will make
a huge stink of this as well. And I will go,
I will see you in the Honor Dome tomorrow. Yes!
How dare you kiss me and besmirch my honor while
my daddy is in a coma. And I'll go, her dad's
in a coma. My God. And with no more drama that
could possibly be wrung out of this nonsense,
the ball comes to a close to be talked about
for years and years to come. Before we leave
the ball, can I find Miss Sweetly? Oh, absolutely.
I've been trying for quite a while. He kind of
comes up behind, maybe at the bar, and says,
is that a mace in your hair, or are you just
happy to see me? Why exactly does it have to
be either or? And he slides a drink to her. Now,
my dance card wound up a little fuller this evening
than I meant to, but there is still one slot
at the end of it. Try not to throw your back
out. Try not to throw my back out. And he'll
take her out to the dance floor. She looks at
you like, well met. And while we're dancing out
there, he goes, you know, I think I will need
a second for tomorrow. And I'm a little out of
practice, if you wouldn't mind helping me prepare.
I feel like the heartache that your little Mr.
Seltzer would suffer would bleed over to my charge,
so I believe it's only my responsibility to make
sure that doesn't happen. Sounds good. And they'll
continue to dance. Don't get yourself killed.
I'll try not to. And then as they dance and pull
away, would it be alright if I read the letter
that he wrote? Absolutely. Sweet. The letter
reads, Miss Sweetly, let me preface this by saying
this is no ploy. I think we can both now agree
I have little talent for subterfuge. I sit at
my desk in the late hours after Lady Gadwallow's
ball, kept awake with thoughts of what you've
said. I must admit you were right. While I cannot
imagine my life without Mr. Seltzer, I would
do well to imagine his without me. I have the
utmost faith in my charge, and unless I misunderstood,
I believe you are starting to as well. I should
allow him more opportunity to show his mettle
to the world without my shadow looming. That being
said, I do not believe I was entirely wrong.
A capacity for conflict is not as paramount in
a match as you imply. If it were, you and I might
spend more of our evenings drinking and rebuking
suitors, and fewer making ourselves scarce behind
the buffet. I did once see things much as you
do. I was a severe man well -suited to a severe
world. But that world eventually got the better
of me and left me to see to my scars alone. That
was until I entered my family's service, and
every day since then their softness has softened
me, their warmth has warmed me, and their delight
has delighted me. I suspect Ms. Blightwind has
had a similar effect on you, and if we are similar
in even one way, then you would want the same
for her. Do we not all deserve someone to treat
us so sweetly? Oh my god. I do not know whether
I mean for this to be a rebuttal or an olive
branch, but perhaps consider it a gift. Should
I be proven wrong, you shall have this to hang
over my head for all time. Please wield it with
clemency. Immortan Salt. Oh my god. Wow. And
with that, the camera drone pans out. Amongst
many couples dancing, but keeping Immortan and
Beardere in center frame. And as it pans away
and away into the night sky, there is simply
a single small voice over the music. Let's do
shots! And we're going to pick up with the finale
at the Honor Dome next time. Listen, we need
a lot of fucking seconds, so Trudy's going to
have to come out to play. I'm bringing Trudy with me.
Don't worry. Bye. All right. Thank you for listening,
and we'll catch you for the last one. Bye. Bye.
Will Miss Clarence be able to edge out a victory
against Nigella? Will there be any hedges at
the Honor Dome for Mary? Can Salt save Lefroy's
reputation? With Ruby and Ruben's relationship
now down for the count, who will rake hell with
the southern belle? Can Samuel avenge his late
spouse with his new fiancée by his side? Who
will survive the Honor Dome? How will I survive
the wait until next episode of Scandals and Scavengers?
Thank you for listening to Scandals and Scavengers,
a Post-Apocalyptic Regency romance with Daniel
Begin as Ruby Grace Rhinelander, MattstheLast
as Lord Samuel Drake, Johnny McElearney as Second
Lieutenant Immortan Salt, Emily Carmen Welden
as Mary Smith, Bo Powell as Edgewater Clarence,
and Evan Kelly as the Game Master. Produced by
Evan Kelly, Trope Warden, Bo Powell. Hey, this
is Daniel. Thanks for listening. If you're enjoying
what you're hearing, consider supporting us on
Patreon, where we release episodes early, and
you'll get access to our post -show cast discussions,
Twisted Talks, our Discord community, and more.