You're listening to Twisted Tropes. Familiar
settings. Wild new tales. Now, on with the story.
Scandals and Scavengers. A post -apocalyptic
Regency romance. Episode 3. Calling cards and
complications. Or you've got mail. Last time
on Scandals and Scavengers. Arriving astride
a large wire -maned lion, Samuel drew every eye
at the first event of the season. Having laid
the groundwork for a friendship with Salt and
a business deal with Edison Sparks, Samuel's
debut can be counted as a success despite a dance
with Ruby in which she, much too late, warned
him that rumors may begin spreading if he's seen
with her. Meanwhile, Mary's evening went from
lumpy to bumpy, as a series of awkward encounters
from Samuel to Edgewater culminated in a chat
with Carlton Carson that was abruptly terminated
by his father, Connor Carson. It seems that Connor
Carson has a rather deep distaste for Miss Smith.
Salt had much to be proud of as the young Mr.
LaFroy Seltzer danced with not one, but two eligible
persons. The second dance took a bit of maneuvering
from Salt as the young Miss Fiona Blightwind's
valet, Beadere Sweetly, seemed to be guarding
her charge from LaFroy's attempts to sign Fiona's
dance card. After plaguing Mary with helpful
tips on social etiquette and introducing her
best friend Ruby to Samuel, Edgewater had a disastrous
dance with Mr. LeFroy Seltzer. Ruby kept one
eye on the past and the other on the future when
she offered condolences to the family of one
of her former fiancés and then spent time with
both Samuel and a Mr. Ruben Weller. Even Edgewater's
brother Gladstone got into the spirit of the
evening, dancing with Miss Nigella Razorstorm.
The night was full of excitement, but as the
party drew to a close, the biggest surprise of
the evening came when Lord Richard Rhinelander
mysteriously collapsed in the middle of the party.
We return to our protagonists in the midst
of that chaos. Who the fuck is Lord Richard?
Richard Gregory Reinhardt. Oh, no, you're dad.
Rhinelander. Can I run and try to give, I've
got medicine in a healer's kit. I've got some
proficiency from service. Can I run and check
on him? Yeah. Like CPR or see what he needs?
Yeah. Oh, my God. Dad, I also run. Daddy. Oh,
no. Ten. On a medicine check. He's having some
kind of, you can only guess, anaphylaxis. Oh,
shit. I start calling for, is there a doctor
here? Is there anyone? We need medical attention.
And trying to like, I don't know, get his mouth
and keep him breathing. Stick a spoon in there.
Okay, so. Edgewater's literally the last person
you would want involved in this. There is a rustle
as a very, very. pale elven woman in a, her her
dress is it just looks like somebody found a
gray sail and literally like wrapped it around
themselves. Like a toga? uh it is it is vaguely
toga -esque but there- Like little mermaid? That's what
i was thinking. No it is it is more it is more fitted
and yeah it's not it doesn't look like lumpy.
This is Vivian Blood. Hell yeah! Um she's a shadar
kai. And she goes to one knee and puts her hand
on Richard and concentrates. And he doesn't wake
up, but he gets better. It looks like whatever
is causing him to go into toxic shock has passed.
But he is still out. And he is so for a few,
about a minute or so. And then he's like, (gasping) Daddy.
Don't. Don't. Don't worry, Ruby. I seem to have
been overcome for a second. I guess these old
bones can't kick up their heels quite as much
as they did in their younger days. Thank you
all. I do apologize for the mess. I think I should
probably take my leave. Ruby, would you help
me get into the carriage? Oh, I'll get a hand on the
other side, too. Ah, thank you, Mr., Mr., uh. I'll go with Ruby.
Ruby. Ah, Miss Edgewater. Always a pleasure to
see you. Well, I think I shall retire as soon
as we get home. All right, yeah. We'll have the
doctor come check you out tomorrow. Oh, no need.
I'll be right as rain. In the morning. I'll be
fine. Don't worry. All right. I will look around
and I will just do a quick curtsy to everyone
and I am going to help him out. So proper, Ruby.
I'm so proud of you. He is brought to the carriage
and as the footman is helping you kind of bring
him closer, the door is opened by Ruben, who
has a look of concern. Oh, thank you. Kindly,
sir. Well, I do hope you get home safely, all.
Miss, your lordship. And he gently closes the
door behind you. Thank you, of course, Mr. Weller.
And before, I will just say thank you, Mr. Salt.
I appreciate it. Of course, anytime. Oh, yes,
and Mr. Salt, I'm sorry I didn't notice you there.
Not a problem, Miss Clarence. You know, he's seven
feet tall. He's seven feet tall. Very hard to
miss. Oh, man. I can't. Okay. And with that,
the night closes. Lady Southmere's garden party
is a mixed success. You've made your debut for
the season, and sleep comes to us all. And it
is now the morning. So you have... uh about three
hours between let's say like 10 and 1 or 4 hours
10 and 2 to you know take care of any personal
business that you need to do errands you need
to run things you need to work on household uh
drama to deal with anything like that so let's
go mr salt how are you feeling i think salt's
feeling quite good uh he considered you know
last night was a pretty big success uh for him
Uh, he managed to sneak in a little personal
fun, which he doesn't always have at those parties.
Uh, so, you know, he got a couple of pranks off.
We had a little exchange, a little something
for him. Um, it feels a little bit, uh, a little
bit of closure and a little bit of, uh, newness
having met, uh, uh, his old captain's widow,
having met Sam and him being a very nice guy.
But I think what he wants to, what he wants to
do this morning is he has lesson hours with LaFroy.
Um, and him having been out the night before.
They're going to stick. They're going to do a
little bit of exercise. So he's going to work.
He's going to have LeFroy coach him through boxing
lessons that he comes up through. So every now
and then he kind of gives a little bit of martial
training, a little bit of confidence building
to his little lord. He holds up the pads and
lets him fight around a little bit. And mechanically,
I suppose, what I'd like to do, I think it would
be tracing a rumor. I want to know how LeFroy
thought last night went. I want to get the download
of his evening. Okay. I mean, there is no rumor
about that. So I'm going to say that is just
a, you know, you guys are, you're having mentor
to mentee bonding time. LeFroy is hitting with
a little more mustard today. Yeah. Okay. All
right. He's feeling himself. And he will not
shut up. Yes. I love him. And Miss Fiona was
so nice. I missed a step, but she didn't seem
to care. And then she sort of giggled that sometimes
she misses the same step. And so it was a lot of
fun. And she smelled really nice. But I didn't
say that because that would have been very inappropriate.
That's a good call. I didn't make the same mistakes
that I made when I said what I said to Miss Edgewater.
That blew up in my face. Speaking of business can
be a little gauche sometimes, but I think you've
learned your lesson. It was an honest mistake,
but I have learned, and I will do better in the
future. But I'm going to see if I can find Miss
Fiona to promenade today. And of course, we would
be very respectful and very gentlemanly. and
would stay in sight of you, my chaperone. Of
course. If you'd like, I could put in a call
with Miss Sweetly and see if they're available
for this evening. If you could do that, that
would be fantastic. Absolutely. Excellent. I
will write a formal invitation so it's all, like,
proper and stuff. I think that would be a very
good idea. Oh, I'm just, I'm just, I'm ready
to explode. And I think as he does, he hits,
like, across that literal-, like, knocks the pad
off my hand, like, Yes, I would say you are.
Let's maybe go a couple more rounds here and
see if we can work some of that out. Is there
anything you'll need for this evening? I think
I would like to find a flower for Miss Fiona.
Oh, I think that would be very sweet. Is there
any that she likes? She likes stuff that is toxic.
Her family works in like... That does explain
her affinity for Miss Sweetly. Continue. I don't
get it. That's good. Her family works in medicines
and stuff. She's so smart. She knows a lot about
herbs and flowers and things that can make you
sick and make you better. Great, I think that
would be... Why don't I take the task of finding
the toxic plant? I think that might be a little
safer. It's probably going to take me a few tries
to write this invitation, right? Yeah, you work
on the letter and I'll start looking for the
plant. Excellent. We will reconvene before calling
hours. I think that sounds great. Excellent. We're
on a mission. Now hands up, chins down. I can't.
Give this kid the world. Yeah, no. He's not.
He better. He's earned nothing, but he deserves
everything. Exactly. I love him. Oh, Lord. So
how would Immortan like to track down an appropriately
beautiful and toxic flower? Question. Did I see
Samuel arrive? I suppose you arrived before I did. Did
I see you leave last night? Did I see Maurice?
I think it'd be hard to miss. So I think having
seen Maurice arrive from the wild lands and having
spent a little bit of time on deployment there,
he thinks maybe, and I'll send a letter to Samuel
and ask if he has any, if he happens to know
of any, or happens to have brought any of the
flora from the wild lands home with him, that
might be a unique gift to give to Miss Fiona.
That will arrive to you for response for calling
hours then. And I'll include a, you know, pleasure
to meet you. Once again, my condolences if you
ever need anything from either myself or the
Seltzer family, please feel free to reach out
and send that along. Excellent. Excellent. Cool.
So that you've got a mildly full morning. There
is a lot of sort of, you know, getting him up
and, you know, getting him moving. But excellent.
Ruby, how are you feeling? I think for the first
time in a long time, I'm feeling a little unsettled
with everything that the way last night ended.
I imagine Edgewater and I, you came back to my
place and we got my dad settled. And then I think
if you'll allow it, I probably would have asked
Edgewater if she could return at some point during
calling hours the next day. I think this morning
I am, I'm not feeling great. And I think I try
and put on my best. So my outfit today. is i
am gonna put on a wife-beater dress that kind
of looks like um that it's and this sounds gross
it kind of looks like- I hate the term. Yeah, I'm glad that
wife-beater survived the apocalypse. The weird
thing is it looks kind of sweaty, but it's not
because the sweat looks like a lace design across
the entire thing. And then there's a corset that's
a plastic corset that just says right across
the breast line, it says Land O 'Lakes half and
half. I want that. And she's wearing to her thigh
-high Timberland denim. Blue denim boots. But
she'll walk in and I think she's going to in
this morning, she kind of tries to feel her best
and then she goes and she checks on her dad in
the morning. And she wants to do Will that take
my entire action for this phase? Getting dressed?
No. No, I'm sorry. Sorry, guys. No, I mean just
going to check on my dad. Oh, no, no. No. Okay.
So I think I want to check on my dad and then
I want to also put out a call to Samuel as well.
So I would like to. So I would like to go in
and I'll check on my dad first and I'll go knock
on the door. Say, Daddy, are you awake? Oh, yes,
sweetie. Come on in. Well, sorry I gave you a
little bit of a scare last night. Oh, Daddy,
you don't sound good. I'm sorry. I just want
to say, is something going on? Oh, I've been,
you know, I've been making a tour of the plant
lately. And, you know, sometimes there are, you
know, when you're cutting metal and things get
in the air and in your lungs. And I just need
to cough it out. You know, it's just, you know,
your daddy's getting older. And, you know, he
gets a little more tired. Now, on that point,
your daddy's getting older. And... You're going
to have to start thinking about maybe what is
going to be required for you to take over the
business or at least manage the business's affairs.
All right. Yeah, I knew that was coming eventually.
I get that. I just want to say that I did talk
to plenty of lovely people last night. So, you
know, maybe I just don't want that to worry you
as well. I know that you have a free spirit,
and that is sometimes difficult for me to reconcile
with my more traditional upbringing, but I do
believe in you. All right. Can I quickly just
make an insight check on what he said about walking
around the plant to see? Absolutely. I'm not
good at this. 19 minus 3 for 16. Well, he's...
Not the... he's tired and he's not his best. So
his usual sort of glib demeanor that lets him
brush over things kind of slips. It's not metal.
And with the vast disparity between our roles,
I'm going to say he knows it's not metal. I'm
just going to. I'm just going to hold his hand
and grasp it and squeeze it for a second and
just go, all right, Daddy, do you want me to
call the doctor? Oh, no, no. There's no need
for that. I hear that the Charmin, Ms. Blood,
took care of me using some of that, whatever
it is exactly they do. I never really understood
all that. Yeah, all right. If you need anything
today, I'll be around the house, all right? So
just let me know until later tonight. I will.
Don't worry. Now, I'm just going to, I think
I may take it easy for the morning, if that is
all the same to you. Yeah, and I'm going to go
over to, in his room, I assume there is a dry
bar there, and I'm going to pour him a glass
of whiskey or bourbon, and I'm going to bring
it over to him. Very medicinal. It is, honestly.
Well, I mean, usually I wouldn't, but I think
circumstances being what they are, I think we
can indulge a little bit this morning. Thank
you. Thank you, my dear. Of course. I will leave
him be, and then I go, and I'm going to send
a calling card to Samuel, and I'm just going
to ask him, if it's all right, to stop by my
place at the end of calling hours around... um
it would be in the second between 2 and 5 p .m
around like 4 or 4 30 would be good if that's
okay um i will ask him and i would have asked
um edgewater to come around the same time the
night before um that's all i have on my on that
i would like to do i think uh excellent you uh
you dispatch a a messenger with the the card
and the note uh and just as the messenger is
leaving There is a... Oh, hello, Miss Clarence.
No, Miss. Rhinelander. It's quite the morning.
We were out late last night. It's okay. I understand.
Yes. This is your father's business manager,
Mr. Roebel. Well, hello, Mr. Roebel. How are you
doing? Fine. I do have a few minor contractual
things I need to go over with your father. If
that's... Is he in? He's not feeling his best
today. Do you think this might be able to wait
till tomorrow? Oh. Well, I would truly rather
not. I just need to... I mean, unless it's something
you want to look over. I'd be happy to look over
it. But I can also, I think he'd be mad at me
if I didn't let you in. Because business does
come first. Ah, well, you know, we try to abide
by our agreements. So, anyway, shall I wait?
Oh, wait down. I'm just going to go. Can I go
check with him first? Is that all right with
you? Absolutely. Where would you like me to wait?
Just wait in the sitting room out to the right.
It's the second sitting room to the right. I
am infinitely familiar. Yes. Thank you. Yes.
Yes. I go back up and I just knock and I said,
Daddy, we have Mr. Roebel here to go over some
things. Oh, well, I was just thinking about him.
So give me 10 minutes to make myself presentable
and I'll be down forthwith. All right. All right.
I'll go tell him. I'll go downstairs. I'll relay
the message to Mr. Roebel and I will make sure
my letters are sent along. And I will do my day
in the house. If they welcome me into the conversation,
great. If they don't, they're doing business.
Yeah, the doors are closed. Yeah, that makes
sense. I'm going to go and rearrange my wardrobe
a little bit. I'm going to go and just do some
things around the house that make me feel a little
bit more in control, I think. That's my first
part of my day. Okay, I'm going to need a perception
check from you. Funny thing about perception.
Yes, I do. Three? You have rearranged your wardrobe.
Yeah, I think doing it in reverse order of the
rainbow is actually the right way to do it. I
think I might need a bigger closet. Wow, I didn't
know. I have 72 pairs of shoes. It is a bold
choice. Let's bang on over to the Clarence estate.
Well, Father, I must go over to see Ruby today,
of course, this afternoon. But also I need to
just... I feel like I must call on Miss Razorstorm.
We hit it off last night at the party, and I
just want to check on how she's doing. Well,
I mean, you can feel free to do whatever you
need to do. It's kind of funny. Are you going
to travel with Gladstone? Because he mentioned
that he wanted to go call on Miss Razorstorm
as well. Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.
Well, I mean... He needs a chaperone after all.
oh i just you know i just figured that the the
folks at the Razorstorm's would be doing the
chaperoning but you know if you feel like you wanna
well i mean you know far be it for me to you
know upset your tender sensibilities uh anyway
so uh sure yeah i mean i i just got work to do
you know juggling my jugs We got a lot of shipments
going out and you got to make sure that everything's
going to the right place or people get uppity.
I hear that. People get uppity about those jugs.
At some point we need to talk about the cans
and the jugs. Always a pleasure. Have a good
time. Thank you. So Edgewater will go find Gladstone.
Gladstone. I've heard. you are interested in
visiting Miss Razorstorm. Well, yeah. I mean,
we seemed to hit it off pretty well last night,
so I kind of wanted to see if we could keep the
conversation going for more than just one dance.
Yes, of course. You feeling all right? You're
swallowing a lot. Your gullet's bouncing. Well,
Gladstone, we're close. Um, I've helped you quite
a lot, I would say. Yeah, I'm mighty thankful.
I just want you... Listen, I don't know the truth
of this, but... The word about town... Oh, now
we're about to start doing, like... No, I'm not
spreading rumors, of course I would not do that.
You're about to tell me a rumor. Well, only because
it might be true. And we must keep it in mind
if it's true. I'm confused about gossiping, but
you know better than I do, so go for it. That's
right, exactly. So, last season she was supposedly,
well, most of us thought she was engaged to Grayson
Hicks. But that was apparently withdrawn when
she was, well... Someone chastised Elena for
being out unaccompanied in the presence of another
young man. Oh, you're talking about Elena. Yeah,
Elena. Yeah, Nigella's little sister. Oh, you
want to see Nigella? Never mind, it's fine. I'll
just go with you to see Nigella and I'll pop by
to see Elena just to see if she's doing all right
after the after the potential scandal that I've
heard I mean I mean I was I was mighty confused
there because uh yeah I feel like that would
be something Nigella would would have done told
me if she had been uh possibly engaged but no
I mean sure if you want to I feel her I don't
want to I don't want to put the cart before the
horse you know but I feel like it'd be great
if uh I don't know maybe our Families got to
know each other. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.
But I don't want to be too forward. Is that going
to come off a little presumptuous? No, not if
I'm with you. If I go with you, it's as if the
two families just want to speak, to engage, to
perhaps have a business deal. You know, they
are into agriculture. We could carry their melons.
I mean, that's awful specific, but I know Daddy
was looking at, you know, expanding to crates.
So, I mean, yeah, sure. That's right. They're
growing a lot of cantaloupe wine over at the
Razorstorm's. Cantaloupe. I mean, I feel like
they'd be more like looking for like... casks
and and bottles and stuff because they're like
right they do vine wine yeah sorry i just my
mind went elsewhere for a moment it's it's fine
you're all right it was a rough night last night
um do you know lord lefroy oh i'm sorry mr lefroy
oh yeah yeah we uh Daddy says that we do a good
turn of business with them. You know, cans for
their fizzy water. I don't know if I'm glad you
said cans or more disturbed you said cans. I
mean, what else would I call them? I feel like
temporarily sealed metal cylinders, that seems
to be an awful big mouthful. You're right. That
honestly gave me a headache. I should take a
breath. Oh, it's hot in this corset. All right.
Well, let's go over to the Razorstorm's. All
right. Hey, Edgewater, you want to just throw
me a quick history check? Yeah. Oh, but that's
plus 10, so 18. Wow. Fantastic. Jesus. You are
actually a little concerned now knowing what
you know because it seems like somebody else
caught. Elena talking to Horatio Wolf out of
eyeshot of everybody. I figured out now that it's
Horatio Wolf? You saw them and you explained why
that was a really bad idea and that Elena really
shouldn't be doing that or it could spread
but who was that someone else because i did not
spread that rumor Oh, dear. This person needs
to know that if word gets out that they're spreading
rumors, they'll be ruined in society. It's fine.
I will find out who is spreading this rumor.
All right. Fantastic. So you are set up for calling
hours to accompany Gladstone to the Razorstorm
estate. All right. Let's go bounce on down the
family line and see how Mary is doing this fine
morning. All right. I think that... Breakfast!
Yes. Hey. My fave, Trudy. There she is. I mean,
don't get excited. It's toast. No worries. How's
the rest of the family? They up? They getting
breakfast? Wonderfully hungover. Yeah, I figured.
They hit the bottle last night when they came
home. Served them right. I only have an assortment
of half -drank flasks, so I didn't even get drunk.
I hear nothing. I'm old. I don't hear things.
Trudy, you know that's not true. Trudy. Trudy,
you know that's not true. Who can say? I love
you. Oh. You're not going to say it back, ok. No, it's
fine, Trudy. Don't worry about it. Don't worry
about it. Thanks for the toast. Don't worry about
it. Absolutely brutal. I now feel hungover. Okay.
So I think that I have a few things I am thinking
about doing. Um, when I got that note yesterday
with the, um, the Hydro notes, do I know what
that was in exchange for? Was that an exchange
for like seance services? That was the, that
was the balance due on a, on a seance, uh, half
up front, half at the completion. Great. Um, so
I want to send a note, um, to, uh, Nicodemus,
is that what it is? Yes. Yeah. Nicodemus. Um,
my sweet Nicodemus, um, Any correspondence we
need in terms of like anything upcoming, anything
like that. And then does he basically just like
keep my bookings? Is that basically his job or
does he do anything else? He maintains your office.
Yes. And is your spiritual assistant during the
actual seances. So I'm like. putting him in a
box and pretending to saw him in half or whatever
yeah it's gonna be a real mishmash of seance. Medium
services by way of the Amazing Jonathan. yeah exactly um
i'm going to let him know that i'm possibly going
to be booking a seance coming up And that I'm
interested in, if I haven't done this before,
that I'm interested in offering one -on -one
medium meetings with individuals. Yeah, it'll
be a new business venture. Yes, yeah. Because
I think that after last night overhearing that
conversation with Connor and Lord Edison, Sparks,
that I'm starting to want to pursue more. individuals
who may have more information about what's going
on and the information that I want to glean.
Which I can sometimes get through seances and
sometimes it's hard to do with a group. So I'm
going to send that note to Nicodemus and send
Belladonna Crawford calling cards to Ruby and
to Lord Drake. Offering My service as a medium,
as a spiritual advisor. OK. And so it has, you
know, in very tasteful calligraphy, Belladonna
Crawford. And the back is like just a kind of
like mirror metallic kind of blank mirror side.
OK. It is actually basically you salvaged a bunch
of like. plastic mirror yeah basically a bunch
of like yeah like uh plastic mirrors and like
um like uh security tags and stuff um to to offer
service for a fee all right so noted yes um you're
gonna have a very full letterbox, Samuel yes yeah
everyone is which one of us do you like more?
yeah yeah you gotta choose who are you calling
on? yeah i only asked for half an hour of your
time just remember that I guess that. Shows how
much you care about me. Do I have the economy
to also, I think, can I try to hear a rumor as
well, in addition to the correspondence? Okay,
that's a lot going on because you're going to
have to go outside to hear it unless you're trying
to somehow glean it from the people in your house.
Can I try to start a rumor through Trudy? Oh.
Nice. Absolutely, you can. You can definitely.
I mean, you're kind of making a very big assumption
that Trudy is one to talk. What? Not Trudy. But
absolutely. It's not going to be a quick start
because it's going to, I feel like, circulate
through the staff first. But that's more what
I'm interested in. Yeah. All right. So you are
going to be trying to start some idle chit chat.
So let me know. Are you doing persuasion or deception?
Give me your roll. I'm assuming that this is
deception, but it could be true. Here's the thing.
Do you want everybody at the table to know what
rumor you're starting? Yeah. This one is not
super secret heavy. It's more petty. My favorite
combination. Basically, I want to start a rumor
that my adopted brother, Clayton, is racking
up gambling debts. Oh, damn. There was like one
second where he was described and I said, that
guy sucks. I want to destroy him. I mean, you're
not wrong. You're not wrong. He does suck. He
feels like the kind of person who might have
gambling debts. What? Kind of believable. All
right. Cool. So, yeah, give me a... Trudy is
a friendly audience, so you could do either.
Yes. Persuasion or deception. I'll do deception.
Okay. So I'll say, Trudy, I know you said that
everyone's kind of hungover. Is everyone acting
okay? I'm kind of worried about Clayton. Obviously,
we're not close. I mean, what do you mean? You
know how... These, you know, young heirs can
be with the money. Assholes? Yeah. Okay, thank
God. Trudy, thank God. I forgot that you're Trudy
and that you're the way you are. I think he's
been gambling. No. Yeah. I think he's been losing
money. That is an 18. Oh, that might make sense.
I know, right? It seems like it would be true,
right? It seems like it. It seems like there's
a weight on him. He has a pressure. There's anger
there. Like someone, like he thought that, you
know, the world's his, you know. He's the son
of Lord Sparks. He can't possibly lose, but.
Some people are born losers. Yeah, that's kind
of, yeah, that's, you know what, Trudy? You're
so right. You always are. Well, you can trust
me to keep this confidence. Oh, I absolutely,
I know that you are tight -lipped. Like a vault.
Absolutely. And that's why we get along, Trudy.
Absolutely. All right, right on. I'll see you
around, okay? No. I mean, I've got to bring you
lunch, so. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll see you then.
I'll just be here kind of doing what I normally
do. Staring forlornly out the window. Yeah, you
know, that's what I do. Okay, you know, hey.
You do you, girl. Am I using that right? Yeah,
absolutely. That was exactly what I needed. That's
exactly what I needed this morning. Someone saw
some kind of old documents and there was all
this funny slang and I don't know. I have work
to do. If you want to stop down by the kitchen
for a quick snack or look me up. Will do. Oh
my God, Daphne, you're never going to guess...
Yay, I started a rumor. There are two NPCs that
I would die for. Cool. So that's basically all
I have. I mean, Trudy may be single. You want
a really rebellious match. Trudy, what are you
talking about? Woof. Okay, and now we'll go to
the beau of the ball. Samuel. You're getting a
lot of correspondence showing up. Well, actually,
but that's going to show up at the beginning
of calling hours. Which is going to be interesting.
We're going to have some messengers passing like
ships in the night because my main thing, so
Miss Worley, she's so kind, left me out some
tea and some small hors d 'oeuvres that I'm picking
at as I'm writing three separate letters. The
first will be, it's not a calling card, but I
am just writing a condolence letter to... Ruby
just you know after the events last night just
checking up on the father and also just thanking
you for being brave enough to be the only person
to ask me for a dance last night so excuse me
I'll send that off and then whoever my messenger
will be I will give very specific instructions
for these next two because one is going to Lord
Sparks following up on the business venture
I say that needs to be delivered first and then
just happenstance there also seems to be a message
for Mary Smith so I will just write back to Lord
Sparks that I am very interested that I will
be drafting up potential plans for presentation
so that way we can be prepared for when he does
call on me and I'll be speaking with those knowledgeable
about our business and how we can best feasibly
make a joint venture there. And then to Mary
Smith, I will just firstly apologize if I made
her feel uncomfortable in any way. I know that
eye contact and the bow seemed to affect her
in some way. I don't know what you're talking
about. But then I will call out that the exact
phrasing will be, I'm not unfamiliar to operating
in hostile territory. If you would care so. I
would love to call on you tomorrow afternoon.
You may find that there's family that we're stuck
with and family that we can find. All right.
All right. Is there anything else you would like
to do with your morning? You know what? If Evan,
as part of that letter to Ruby. Could I use a
wealth point to send a very nice gift as well,
like a little care package to her and her father?
Absolutely. You can send the footman to pick
something up. Perfect. Any idea kind of what?
Again, not used to the customs here, so things
I would think of would be flowers that represented
life and fertility. Um, and then, um, that's
not like in that way, but like, and then, um,
something for food, for nourishment and continued
living would be the two things I would want to
send over. All right. Fantastic. Wow. And that
would, that would be my morning. Excellent. Uh,
uh, sir. Um, Well, you have a caller. An official
-looking gentleman. Would you like to meet him
in the sitting room? Yes, please. I'll be down
in a moment. Oh, very good, sir. Thank you, Lucas.
Lucas leaves and brings your visitor in. Quickly
look in the mirror. Again, it's like the comfortable,
like... Honestly, it's like shirt off, like vest
open, like just hanging out. Nice, nice. It's
like, I guess I should put on a shirt. Nah. God.
So lame that in this post -apocalyptic era, people
are still having to wear shirts. So lame. Unless
it's winter, then that's fair. Then yeah, yeah.
Dragonborn, I don't feel it all the same. Actually,
no, cold -blooded, I really do. But after I make
myself presentable, I'll make my way to the sitting
room to see who's calling on me. Ah, there is
a dwarven gentleman. Do I recognize him? Oh,
no. Okay. No, no. He's got sort of like the ring
of hair going around, and he has gone full Chester
A. Arthur going on. Spectacles that are almost
the same diameter as they are height of cylinder.
They are just gigantic. Like, probably could
deflect bullets. And he is wearing a... It looks
like somebody sewed together the blown up remnants
of a TJ Maxx to try to create a suit. It's like
all the greys. like there is like there's like
herringbone there's pinstripe there's just like
charcoal gray wool it's it's it's rough and it
was not sewn well um but he just clocks has like...
Fashion here is so interesting. Um but he uh he
stands up as you as you walk in he's like huh
Nice to meet you, sir. My name's Barney Rubbleroy.
Yeah, I'm one of the solicitors for the Crown's
Office of Peerage. I just came here. We have
to fill out a few forms, and we need to sort
of check some boxes so we can make sure that
everything is in place so your lordship's title
is properly transferred. Excellent. appreciate
your time what can I do for you? oh actually it
is a minor formality we just need to get your
marriage certificate filed with the Queen's office
and then the title will be properly transferred.
Sorry out of character here, did Henry not take
care of all this to my knowledge beforehand? uh
He said he was mailing it. You saw him put it
in an envelope and send it off with some other
correspondence. I'm sorry, the Queen's office
has not received that yet? No, no, we haven't.
That was sent via correspondence by my husband
before his passing months ago at this point.
Oh, that is most irregular. Huh. Are you absolutely
certain? Because this could create a problem.
Oh, well, I haven't really had to deal with this
before. Yeah, problem. Yep, definitely a problem.
Look, again, I'm not accustomed to the customs
here, but our wedding was officiated. Oh, yes,
and we have the sworn statement. uh from the
officiant uh but we actually we we do need the
the certificate that has uh the uh the the lord's
signature on it that he was uh of his own uh
free will to actually get married so uh it's
just something we have to you know clear a little
uh bureaucratic hurdle um so we just need to
uh we just need to see that and then uh you are
good to lord. Oh my god i'm so stressed right
now. I yeah love it. So uh maybe in a book that
he liked or uh under uh under a paperweight but
um again i appreciate your time and i don't want
to um inconvenience you by having you just wait
on me here in my sitting room. Perhaps I will
look through Henry's belongings and verify that
perhaps he mistakenly never sent out the letter.
Entirely understandable, my lord. It is more
common than one would think that paperwork does
occasionally get misplaced. You wouldn't... You
wouldn't think it with bureaucrats that are so
focused, but it does happen. So at your leisure,
just get it sent out as soon as possible because
we would like to make everything, you know, just
make everything official in the documents of
peerage so we don't have to deal with any messy
counterclaims or things like that. No, we would
not want to deal with that. It would be very,
very complicated, especially because it's a newly
annexed sort of area, and then there is no heir,
and there is no... It would be very, very complicated.
You'd honestly be saving me a lot of paperwork
if you could put that in my hand. I will try
to do that at my earliest convenience. Thank
you very much, my lord. I will see myself out.
Have a great day. You as well, sir. Breath weapon.
Just a thunderous boom in the sitting room once
the front door closes. Well, that chair is never
going to hurt anyone again. And then you see
a paper flutter to the ground. Yeah, you obliterate
a chair. And Lucas runs in. My lord, is everything
alright? Oh, wow, chair. My apologies, Lucas.
Old habits die hard. So does old furniture, apparently.
That was actually quite easy, unfortunately.
Henry's belongings. I know I haven't... I asked
for them to be put away and it was hard to go
through. Where do we have them stored? Oh, I
could have them brought in by tomorrow. They
were stored at Affle House. Yes, if we could bring
those into the city post -haste. I will dispatch
Mr. Roy, and Ryland will help. Thank you. Excellent.
Is there anything else you need, my lord? No,
not for today. Thank you. Excellent. Well, we'll
be around. It's what we do. Much appreciated.
Excellent. I'm keeping things easy. Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, boy. How are we all feeling? Stressed. Great.
Calling hours. I love it. Yeah. And so this is
kind of fun. We're going to actually circle back
to Lord Drake as your letterbox explodes with
all kinds of requests. Oh, not today of all days.
It's not like you got anything to go through
until tomorrow. Yes, you know, could use some
time to myself, but let's see what's going on.
So I believe Ruby has requested me for late in
the afternoon. This person I'm not familiar with
is offering medium services. And was there a
specific time or date? No. Okay. It's more mysterious
that way. Is there any address to which I could
return the invitation? Think hard, she will feel
it. This person may show up. No, I think I'm
assuming that in the event that I'm not invited
to someone's manor to do a party. I have some
place that I can use for a seance. Yeah, your
office. Yeah, yeah. That Nicodemus maintains.
Yeah, so there's a correspondence to get in touch
with my office, if not me directly. Okay. Weird.
That's more so, I'm just, gosh, all right, I've
never even met this person. I'll ask Lucas, who
might be a little more in the know about them,
if he's ever heard of this person, this medium.
You know, some, yeah. Flapping gums, talking
about someone who says they can contact the dead
and ask questions of the departed. I believe
it's all a load of tish -tosh. Could be useful
if you need to find paperwork. Reading my
mind, Bo. Flapping gums? Lucas. How dare you
talk about Trudy like that? How dare you? Okay.
For if I receive a calling card, do I need to send
a message back saying I accept given the hour
of the day? Or would I just be expected to arrive
at the time they requested? You would arrive
with the calling card. Okay. Excellent. So I
will be doing that to Ruby. Phrasing. Yeah, maybe
calling card is more like a business card. Maybe
I'm not showing up with the card. I will send
correspondence to say I'm interested in setting
up an appointment. Excellent. And then was there
somebody else I missed? I asked you about a toxic
flower. Yes. Or a flower from the wildlands.
Toxic if you have it. It's a weird little postscript
at the bottom. I think in there, he puts an anecdote
of, I vaguely remember eating one, and it was
quite unpleasant afterwards, if you have anything
of the sort. I am proficient in survival. Would
that help me know if any of the flowers that
he's speaking of? You know? Yeah, roll it. Okay.
Doesn't mean I'm great at it. That's a five.
Oh, God. I mean, like, yeah, given enough. time,
you could definitely find it if you were home.
Are those the dice Daniel gave you? They are.
Throw them away. I'm sorry. The dice I gave people
are rolling real bad. Mine are okay. I haven't
rolled yet. I'm afraid. You should be. Your mailbox
is cursed this morning. It's so weird. Bad day.
I will respond. Unfortunately, I'm not familiar
with those flowers of that type. And being away
from home, it would take time to even get something
like that. But I will give it similar to like.
uh what i gave to Ruby like the instructions
like the language of flowers i would just give
things of like i guess if you wanted to you could
give a a flower that has negative connotations
so i'll be things like you would normally place
upon a grave might symbolize death and things
like that and give examples of what he could
buy at a normal market. That's going to be so
romantic. Grave flower for my new love. Have
this calla lily. Oh, and then while I'm doing
this as part of the hours, I will also similar
to how I thank Ruby for being brave enough. Thank
you for approaching me. And I appreciate the
candor at which you spoke to me. You treated
me as a man and not as a title. Very. Very burly,
yes. Excellent. Yeah, cue a Dutch high -five
from Predator across the city. All the way across
the city. Whack. Very tasteful letters. Single
tear on each side. Seen by no one. All righty.
Cool. So we'll get to that meeting towards the
end of things. Edgewater, you're planning on
heading off with Gladstone early and then excusing
yourself to go to see Ruby? Yes. Okay. Let's
deal with that. All right. I think it's going
to go really well. It's going to be great. You
pull up to the Razorstorm Estate. Good afternoon.
Edgewater and Gladstone Clarence here to see...
Miss Nigella Razorstorm and Elena Razorstorm.
One moment. Thank you. And an elderly -looking
half -drow takes your cards and brings them back
into the house. The house is heavily, heavily
curtained. It is exceptionally dim. Anyone not
of elven ancestry would be having a difficult
time. In this level of lighting. No problem.
After probably about five minutes, the drow comes
back. Miss Nigella will see you both in the sitting
room. Miss Elena sends her regrets, but she's
feeling unwell. Oh dear. That could be a problem.
It's fine. Perfect. Please, come this way. Yes,
of course. And he leads you into a sitting room.
It is very well appointed. Everything is very
much like dark velvets. Very thick carpeting.
You honestly haven't seen this much that has
survived. Relatively intact. There isn't a lot
of stuff here that has been sort of hacked together.
That's impressive. You feel like there might
be magic at play. I'll be very careful before
I sit down to make sure it's an actual chair
and not the illusion of a chair. Oh no, it feels
real. It definitely feels real, but it just maybe
had help getting that way. After a few moments,
Nigella sort of floats into the room. She's very
good at the heel -toe walk. She kind of glides
in. Ah, Miss Razorstorm, it's wonderful to see
you. I am here accompanying my brother Gladstone.
I will be off in this far corner of the room.
If you need anything, I will be way over there.
Just slightly within hearing. Ah, that is very
good to know. Thank you very much. It is a pleasure
to receive you both into my home. If you are
so interested, Miss Edgewater, there are a number
of poems, books of poetry. Yes, of course. I
will be reading poetry while the two of you discuss
matters on this side of the room. I recommend
the tome with the purple cover. It speaks to
me. Gladstone. I'm sorry, Mr. Clarence. It is
an honor to receive you. I very much look forward
in continuing our conversation from last night.
I'm very, very happy that you were available
to... See me. Yes. Thank you. Please, have a...
I'm in your home. Do not worry. We do not receive
visitors very frequently either. Please, sit
in. Some refreshments will be brought in. Now,
as you were saying... And they start chatting.
She's just flipping page to page to page to page
to page. Clearly not reading anything. They are
speaking in hushed tones, occasionally laughing.
Gladstone is as close as he can be without tripping
the you are too close. I'm at the edge of my
seat. It's like he has drilled all of the lessons
that you have repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly
given him make a perception check uh that's a
twisted 20. oh uh you do quickly catch though
at one point uh Nigella leans over and puts her
hand on his and then withdraws but it it is it
is a quick but not accidental motion. Are her
hands gloved? No, they are not. Oh, my God. Skin
on skin. So the book drops. And then I slowly
lean down and pick it back up. And she removes
her hand. Is everything all right back there?
Oh, perfectly fine. I'm just keeping my hands
where they should be on this book. This excellent
poetry here. All right, sister. Are you feeling
all right? Of course. Of course. Okay. All right.
You'll have to pardon her. She has a constitution
that is sometimes easily overwhelmed. fainting
spells, you know. It is understandable. Sometimes
people find the atmosphere here a little oppressive.
No. Of course not. Yeah, so it drags on for about
an hour, the visit. And it is... It is... Just
imagine watching a sibling flirt. It's excruciating.
Especially he's not good at it. Objectively,
he's not good at it. I think eventually Edgewater
just puts the book down on the couch beside her,
kind of hard, and goes, Well, it's about time
we head off to Ruby's then. It was lovely to
see you. Miss Razorstorm, and I am so sorry.
Calling hours as they are, we must split our
attentions. Have a wonderful day. Well, Miss
Nigella, I do hope that I will see you in the
park later on this afternoon. You can count on
it. All right. Come on, sister. You're in a hurry,
so let's get going. Yes. You get into the carriage.
What in the tarnation is wrong with you? I mean,
I must say, Gladstone, that was good for you,
but oof, that was hard for me. Well, you didn't
have to come. Well, I was hoping to speak to
Elena, Miss Elena, but she wasn't there. I didn't
realize I was going to be trapped there listening
to your, oh, I love the... Details in your skirts.
What the hell was that? I'm making an effort.
You are. You are. And I'm very proud of you,
Gladstone. Can you please drop me off at Ruby's
place? Yes. Thank you. Good lord. Yeah, and you're
dropped off at Ruby's house. We're going to swing
over to Immortan and what he's doing with his
fun time calling hours. Have I received the reply
from Samuel? I'm going to say yes, that that
came in and then was quickly dispatched back.
Gotcha. Then priority number one is finding suitable
flowers for this evening. All right. If he's
not busy with other lessons, chores, or other
duties, I'll bring LeFroy along with me. Okay,
cool. All right, so you are going to find, what
message are you trying to send? With the flowers?
Yes. I think we would like to mostly demonstrate
that Lefroy was listening, understands her interest,
and wanted to show that engagement. Maybe it's
a little off the mark. I don't think either of
us are super, super up on this one. I don't think
we're trying to impress her with botanical knowledge
or show some sort of deep understanding of a
hobby, but more of an interest in her interest.
Okay. That's all you can really do. Yellow flowers
and death flowers. Friendship and death. We got
it for you. Cool. Yeah, you find an interesting
sort of weird arrangement. It has red columbine,
fern, and magnolia. Oh, you know what I'll do?
I think I kind of give the suggestion to LeFroy
and let him pick the flowers out. Maybe I suggest
the type of flower and let him kind of go into
the bins and pick the one that he thinks looks.
And then I'm going to go into, I have a healer's
kit and we will, instead of using a ribbon, wrap
the bouquet in gauze. that is a move that is
a move um okay all right still kind of tied off
in a bow yep this is this is really happening
um all right cool um yeah so you have a you have
a bouquet and you are going to approach The residence
of Miss Fiona Blightwind. Did the florist have
like checkout items? Do they have like a little
thing at the cashier of little? I mean, that
is wildly, it is like a bombed out storefront.
Gotcha. Like most of this stuff kind of grows
in the store because the store doesn't really
close. It's like coming out of the concrete.
Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Yep. And he's just like,
he's been like, all right, I'm leaning into it.
I have the scantest amount of druidic ability.
We're going to see what happens. Gotcha. Yeah.
So, yeah, cool. I think on the way over, I'll
suggest, little lord, that you might leave the
top hat in the carriage today. That's probably
a good idea. A little too formal for this event.
And also, it really made my neck feel wobbly.
Yeah, it's a lot. I had to keep counterbalancing
it, and I feel like my head was doing a lot more
work than my head should be doing. I think that's
probably true. You're very smart, Mr. Thalt.
Okay, so... Um, what do I do? So we'll arrive.
Okay. You'll knock on the door. Got it. Almost
certainly, uh, someone from her home, uh, from
her house will arrive. You will ask, uh, if you
may speak to, uh, Ms. Blightwind, and then wait
for her to come down. Okay, that seems easy.
That's pretty straightforward. Excellent. And
then at that point, you'll be with your friend
Fiona, and the rest should come easy. Excellent.
I like this. All right. So you get to the door
and the plan goes pretty well up to you'll be
with your friend Fiona and the rest will come
easy because unfortunately with Fiona. Right.
Comes Beadere. I imagine it's like two pairs.
They're like five feet ahead and then in perfect
lockstep behind. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And Fiona suggests
a stroll around the garden. Their garden or a
public garden? Their garden. Okay. So you are
both literally pacing five steps behind the two
of them. As Fiona takes Lefroy on a tour of their
garden, which is full of the most toxic and deadly
plants known to man. Cool. And she's pointing
them out. And he's like, oh, that's amazing.
How do you safely handle that? And he is
smitten. He is, like, badly smitten. He is, as
the phrase goes, in deep smit. Nice. So, Beadere
is just, so, have you got your hands under control
yet? Squarely in my pockets, Miss Sweetly. I
would like to apologize for last night. Well,
you'd like to, but I don't hear you doing it.
Oh, sorry. I'm very sorry for my clumsiness at
the event last night. Although it did lead to a
wonderful afternoon for our wards. We'll see
about that. I do want to not narrow the field
quite so soon. There are other young gentlemen
that have requested audiences. So, tick -tock
on the little lord. Would it be out of turn to
ask who? Yes, it would. Good thing I checked.
I thought someone of your reputation would know
better than that. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. I have a
reputation, do I? Oh, several. I'll ask is it
like, and what might those be? And I'll try to
track down a rumor. Really? Yeah, what is...
I mean, partially, what has she heard? Yeah,
what is the... What is this impression based
on? Okay. This will be an insight check. Insight?
Because, again, you're not anywhere where you're
actually doing a, I'm going to track down a rumor
action. You're trying to... gauge her response
to you. That's a nat 20. The one thing that she's
clearly most impressed about is the impromptu
dental work that you bestowed upon Lord Elton.
Gotcha. Okay. When his son was bullying Lefroy.
And there is... you're reading begrudging respect.
I'll take it. For that kind of violence um reading
that do i notice um does she have the same braid
in as at the at the you feel like this is her
style okay just constantly okay gotcha uh actually
you know what let's uh make a perception check
with advantage i'm gonna let the intuition 20
ride that's a 22 or a nine so 22 all right so
being this close yeah in a sustained amount of
time, you have time to sort of quickly size her
up. While she dresses very conservatively, very
buttoned up, very severe, there is something
you notice on the one part of her body you can
see. Scars. several like a spider web of scars
all across her knuckles cool um these are these
are hands that have that have done some shit
um yeah there is uh she she you've never seen
her with a weapon beside her her her hair flail
um We're just going to take a second to appreciate
sentences I never thought I'd say. But yeah,
so, but she, she clearly can handle herself in
a fight. Like this is just reinforcing that for
you. You're like, ok she really respects
the violence and she has thrown down more than
once. I think, yeah, maybe after having gauged
that that's maybe our only point of contact or
our only point of like connection there. or recognizing
that this is maybe a little forward. He's not
fully going to gesture towards that, but he'll
ask her, so sport or service? And he'll maybe
gesture to his own hands. A little bit of service,
a little bit of survival. I had no idea, and
he ceremonially hits a dab. Service comes in
many forms. A second apology. I think the youngest
Blightwind is lucky to have you so close. As
you two are talking, you hear a whoop, and it
appears that Fiona was reaching to point to a
particular bloom and loses her footing. Lefroy
grabs her can and catches her. sorry sorry Lefroy
they have to get engaged now. Because of probably
the the amount of sparring training that you've
done with him his reflexes are actually good
enough he can he like does catch her around the
waist and get her up on her feet and then goes
oh A thousand apologies. I didn't mean to manhandle
you so aggressively, but I didn't want you to
fall into the toxic... I think that's where I
arrive, or I think we probably both arrive and
go, are you two both okay? Yes, I'm fine. Mr.
Seltzer was very gallant and saved me from a
tumble. I'm glad to hear. uh and lean a little
bit outside thumbs up to Lefroy. Just a little
well uh... Miss Fiona i believe there's another
appointment coming up so we will have to uh we'll
have to part our ways for the time being good
day gentlemen always a pleasure miss sweetly
miss blightwind and then uh look to uh uh uh
farewell for for now uh myth Blightwind and he
does a very deep bow and comes up and rocks a
little because he obviously gave himself a head
rush. Then strides out, standing a whole inch
taller. I'm going to put my hand on his back
as I usher him out of the way. Or out of the
garden. That was so erotic. I don't like attaching
that to anything with that voice. I agree. Please
no. Not the child. Who's 18. The very sheltered
halfling. What? Yeah, I can... It wasn't just
like death and poison? Yeah, no, it was fertility,
courage, purity, and nobility. I can DM a game
and Google flower meanings at the same time.
The roll was not great, so I was like, okay,
what do these mean? Alright, so now let's do
our... You are going to see... Ruby. Rhinelander,
yeah. All right. So you are announced. Descend
the stairs in my sweaty wife-beater. Jesus Christ.
This sucks, dude. This is awful. Don't worry.
It's a butter wife-beater. I'm sorry. Okay. We
got to go with just tank top. All right. This
is such a bummer every time. The white tank top.
Sweaty butter white tank top. Sounds like a CAPTCHA
test. I'm sorry, this is a Daniel thing. I would
address you as Lord Drake. Lord Drake, I appreciate
you answering my call. Miss Rhinelander, thank
you for the invitation. How is your father doing?
For full disclosure, he's not doing great this
morning or today. In fact, he has been up in
his room. He took one business meeting and has
been sleeping for most of the day. In fact, I
do believe he is deep in some sleep right now.
But I do actually, I hope you don't mind, but
I have called you here for a favor rather than
anything more. First of all, I do want to apologize
for last night. I was a bit forward, but I appreciate
your card and your gift today. And the door knocks
with Edgewater's arrival. Oh, Ruby! To this unchaperoned
meeting between two single eligible people. And
I open the door, and I go, oh, hello, Edgewater.
Hello, Ruby! It's wonderful to see... Oh, Lord...
Lord Drake! Miss Clarence. You're here. Have
you met Edge? Absolutely cannot. No, that is...
Miss Clarence, very lovely to meet you, Lord
Drake. Why are you here? I called on him, and
I also called on you. Oh, as your chaperone.
Okay, all right, I'm ready. No, I will say, you
did come here at the same time, but I am asking
for some help from Lord Drake. All right. And
if it's all right with you. My dad's asleep right
now, and there's a room I cannot get into in
my house. I'm going to be fully honest with you.
There's this room in my house that I didn't realize
was there for my entire life up until about six
months ago. Six months? And I haven't been able
to break in there. Not at all. And you, sir,
were able to pick me up with such force last
night that I said, maybe this man could break
his way through the door. And I totally understand
if you are not willing to do it or if you have
another way to get in, but I would owe you a
favor if you were able to help me with this.
Miss Rhinelander, if I'm understanding the situation
correctly, you have called upon me to visit your
abode and then demolish it. Yes, I have. He's
very quick. Miss Clarence, you seem not surprised
by this. Oh, no. Six months ago Ruby showed
up at my door and explained everything about
the magic and the secret room and everything.
We've been trying to get in for quite a while.
We did have a plan. We were going to climb up
the outside of the house and try to go in through
the window, but we haven't been able to manage
that one yet. But this plan seems very promising.
And my dad's asleep. He's been drinking all day.
Drinking? It makes him feel okay. Oh, all right.
Medicinally. Yes, of course. Hey, DM, quick question.
I know I was not rolling well at the party yesterday,
but did I happen to pick up on any of the chit
-chat about Edgewater? And for lack of a better
word, how much of a prude she is? I mean, there
was definitely the reaction. Wait, it was...
What? I picked up on the reaction when we were
walking by. Everyone was trying to be inside
conversations very suddenly, so they didn't have
to talk to her. Right, but did Edgewater approach
you while you were interacting with Drake? Right
after I sort of interacted with him. Okay. I'm
going to say jury's out, but there's sort of
like a, this does, it feels off for some reason.
Seems a little out of. I don't know her that
well. Have you not spoken to your father about
this? Would this not be something he would deal
with? I'm going to be fully honest with you and
say that he has told me not to go in there, but
he's not telling me something. And I feel deep
in my bones that my answers might be in that
room. And this could be important for his health.
Insight check. I mean, perception or... Persuasion
or deception, depending on if Edgewater actually
believes that. 16. And that's a 15 persuasion.
She does believe it. Whether it makes sense or
not is an entirely different thing, but she actually
is... Like, her heart's in the right place. And
I will say, you don't have to accept this. I
just want to say that last night, I appreciate
you letting me ask you to dance and accepting
my dance. The end of the night was a bit much,
and I'm just trying to find some other answers.
And, you know, I figured there's some rumors
about me, and I've already made... I tried to
listen for rumors last night. I didn't hear anything.
Well, you know, everybody's always talking about
last season. Oh, last season. Yes, last season
was a bit of a... So, I just... I don't really
have anything to lose, if that makes sense. Why
don't you show me the door first, and let me
even see if I would be able to assist you. All
right, follow me. Thank you. Come on, Edgewater.
Of course. I walk ahead, so they have to walk
close to each other. So, how long have you held
the title? Just about six months. Six months?
Do you know that that's when Ruby developed her
powers? She did mention that last night, yes.
Very serendipitous. Wow. You two seem close.
Of course. Family friends? Yes, since we were
children. Ruby's family is in transportation
and my family is in containers. So my family
provides the containers for water, you know,
jugs, cans, things of the sort. And then Ruby's
family provides the transportation to get them
from point A to point B. So of course our fathers
would know each other quite well. And so, of
course, we would know each other quite well.
That is very good to know and brings up an interesting
point. If I might, not at this time, obviously,
we're indisposed, but if I could inquire about
the details of how your family set up that arrangement
with the Rhinelanders, I might need to be working
on details on how to transport some crystals
to a new business partner of mine. Oh, you would
like me to help you arrange... A business deal
with my family. If that is improper, if I should
have spoken to someone else. No, of course not.
I, of course, can do that. Yes, of course. I
will speak with my father forthwith. Of course.
And she, like, turns to leave. I will tap Ruby's shoulder. Yeah.
What's going on? I apologize. Your friend is
leaving. Oh, Edgewater, where are you going?
Oh, right. Not right now. Oh, I'll get to that
later. I'm sorry. Oh, yep. This is the door,
by the way. Oh, yeah. This is the one. Yeah.
I've tried to, you know, pick the lock and it's
not going through. So I don't know. Maybe a bit
of force might help. All the muscle! Do you often find yourself
picking... Excuse you. That's a hard stop for
Samuel. Just... Edgewater is such a freak. Edgewater.
I love it. I'm not even sure what I was about
to say. You were going to ask me, I think, if
I pick locks a lot. Is that what you were going
to ask me? Yes, that sounds about right. No.
Oh. It's just something that I picked up in my
living here. You know, sometimes I get locked
in my room by accident and I need to pick myself
out. That's true. Yeah. Obviously. I've been here
before. When she's been locked in her room, I've
been outside. Helping her while she picks the
lock from the inside. It locks from the inside.
Okay. Yeah. I think you're about to get murdered.
You've been in town for what? 72 hours? Under
my breath, Henry, you did not prepare me for
this. No, okay. I have picked some locks in my
time, you know, as I need to. Can I take a look
at the door and just if apparently the lock has
been picked or not, and then what could potentially
be barring it? Like, is it something propped
up on the inside? I mean, how would you ascertain
that? Yeah, I guess just like... First, I guess
I should ask, does it open out into the hallway
we're in or into the room? It opens into the
room. Okay. And then just jiggling the knob,
does it seem like if it was previously locked,
it has been picked but still won't open? No.
It feels like it is still very locked. Okay.
There's a few ways I could go about this. None
of them particularly kind to property. What do
you mean? Well, I'm assuming you don't have any
sort of tools or anything that I could use as
leverage to try to... Oh, I have this. Oh, my
God. Swinging around her head is a sword on a chain.
What? What are you doing to this nice man? Would
this help? Did you have that out while you were
chaperoning? I mean, it was on me. How's it going
over there? I think that's a little too flexible
for what I was looking for. All right, never
mind. The other thing I could do is specifically
try to bash in the hinges and just take it off
the frame. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I just
don't know what else I can do. I've tried to
climb the building and I can't get in. I'm just
a little bit too short, you know? I've tried
to hoist her up as well. We didn't have enough
spikes on our clothing. We were going to try
that next. No comment. I will just, like... not
full force but just like give it like a couple
good taps like does this feel like it's a you
know a hollow wooden door that like oh no this
is solid uh this is very solid. Okay so i can't
just punch straight through it and then try to
get the knob on the other side. um yeah i think
he will and again not having like a tool he thinks
he could use um or i guess i would ask you if
i could find something sturdy enough to like
wedge right where the hinge connects to the door
and just try to like if it had enough of that
just kind of like leverage to try to pull it
off the hinge would that uh be feasible given
my proficiency with improvised weapons uh i'm
used to just bashing things so if that's what
i gotta do that's what i'm gonna do yeah yeah
i mean this is like any way you slice it you're
trying to break down the door yeah um so all
right i'll just do that i mean if if you could
find some kind of a pry bar i'd say you sure
have an advantage Okay. Before I agree to this,
what sort of assurances can you give me that
your house isn't going to be looking for to send
me a bill afterwards? Don't worry about that.
We have plenty of money to pay for it to fix
it. They do. I'll pay out of my allowance. It's
fine. They're quite wealthy. I've had a morning.
I'm feeling a little angry. I could use the vent.
I'm going to take it out on this door. I have
no idea what you mean about that. I think I'll
take two stabs at it. One will be I'm just going
to try to basically kick it in. Failing that,
I will try to use my thunder breath weapon. I
have one more use today. Interesting. Interesting.
All right. This is basically, you're trying to
basically make a strength check. It is a DC 23.
Ready to see this 19 on the die? Straight up
a 19 on the die. That's a 19. That's a 23 exact.
Boom. Oh, golly. Oh, my God. All right. Mr. New
in town. Yeah. All right. There is something,
and I speak this to the two young ladies. There
is a shift that comes over Lord Drake where he's
thinking about it and sizing things up and really
considering what he should do. And then there's
like a change in the set of his shoulders. He
steps back and just plants one super solid kick
right in the center. And the whole thing just...
collapses inward. In just a pile, a huge cloud
of dust. And then Edgewater hits the floor. Wait,
you faint? Our first swoon! She's overcome. Oh my
god. Mama. Are you okay? Instantly rushed to
her side and checking on her. Oh, thank you.
Oh damn. Looking at her, did you hit your head
when you fell? I don't think so. Do I know all
of the Bridgerton and Austenets? Yes, I know
all of the Bridgertenets and Austenets. I can't
say it right now, but yes, I know them. I'm all
right. I'm all right. He backs away during the
diatribe, and then will just extend a hand to
help you to your feet. Thank you. He's not wearing
gloves. Neither am I. I'm at my friend's house.
Thank you, Lord Drake. He thinks nothing of it.
Ruby, what are you up to? I attend to Edgewater,
and then I'm going to go in the room immediately.
I say thank you, and I walk right in this dusty
room, and I'm just looking around. All right.
Make me a quick perception check, please. Three.
As you walk in. You are perplexed why someone
would put a mirror up in a child's nursery. Why
someone would mirror an entire wall of a child's
nursery? Because there's just like you see a
crib and you see a shelf of porcelain dolls and
you see like a little chest of drawers and you
see the same ones over there. It's got to be
a mirror, right? Yeah, I'll go over to the mirror.
You reach out to touch it, and there's no mirror.
There's just two of everything in this room.
This is a nursery for two children of the same
age. Ruby, is this your nursery? I don't think
so. Do you have two siblings you don't know about?
No, I'm the only one. As you're thinking about
this, make me whatever saving throw you feel
is appropriate. Like, what are you drawing on
right now to try to wrap yourself around this?
I think I'm going to do a wisdom save because
I feel like I'm... going on, spiraling a little
bit. I mean, against his interest, but honest.
That's an eight. You feel a storm in your skull.
You're being asked to remember something and
you can't. And then you hear (loud gasp) from your dad's
room. And I think that's where we're going to
call it right now. We'll pick up the rest of
today promenade time and our night activities.
We'll pick that up tomorrow. Oh, no. So, hey,
don't worry. It's going to be fine. What did
we do? It's so spooky. And that's it for this
episode. Okay. Night, everybody. Oh, no. What
has happened to Samuel's marriage certificate?
How long has Salt been practicing dentistry?
Will Edgewater get to the bottom of the rumor
about Elena Razorstorm? Will Trudy ever say I
love you too to Mary? What's with the strange
room in the Rhinelander estate? These are the
burning questions to be answered on the next
episode of Scandals and Scavengers. Thank you
for listening to Scandals and Scavengers, a post
-apocalyptic Regency romance with Daniel Began
as Ruby Grace Rhinelander, MattstheLast as Lord
Samuel Drake, Johnny McElearney as Second Lieutenant
Immortan Salt, Emily Carmen Welden as Mary Smith,
Bo Powell as Edgewater Clarence, and Evan Kelly
as the Game Master. Produced by Evan Kelly, Trope
Warden, Bo Powell. Hey, this is Daniel. Thanks
for listening. If you're enjoying what you're
hearing, consider supporting us on Patreon, where
we release episodes early, and you'll get access
to our post -show cast discussions, Twisted Talks,
our Discord community, and more.