WEBVTT 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:07.540 It feels quiet. It feels quiet, Paris. London 00:00:07.540 --> 00:00:09.880 is sunny from my bedroom on the barge and it 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:14.259 feels quiet. I haven't tested how it feels outside 00:00:14.259 --> 00:00:16.879 but I'm imagining it feels fresh and pleasant 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:22.960 and possibly not so quiet. Tenderness fills my 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:25.699 heart as my daughter is comfortably sleeping 00:00:25.699 --> 00:00:29.379 on my bed. After a day assez chargé yesterday, 00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:32.560 seeing Phil Porter's "Blink" performed brilliantly 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:35.000 at King's Head Theatre in Islington in the afternoon, 00:00:35.179 --> 00:00:38.340 after helping me move my stuff from my neighbour's 00:00:38.340 --> 00:00:41.179 boat back onto my boat, clothes thrifting and 00:00:41.179 --> 00:00:44.079 book shopping, shawarma on the bus and a hot 00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:46.600 drink with cake before witnessing a tiring version 00:00:46.600 --> 00:00:50.439 of Bram Stroker's Dracula starring only Cynthia 00:00:50.439 --> 00:00:53.000 Erivo at Noel Coward Theatre in the evening. 00:00:55.560 --> 00:00:59.719 The heating is working on both barges and I am 00:00:59.719 --> 00:01:02.780 appreciating my restful time being in one city, 00:01:02.939 --> 00:01:06.519 namely London, for a solid four-night after my 00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:09.739 typical inspiring chaotic schedules, even if 00:01:09.739 --> 00:01:11.819 there seems to be so much to do each day still. 00:01:12.579 --> 00:01:16.420 I am being good and patient with my knee recovery, 00:01:16.620 --> 00:01:19.519 following a hard fall right on the kneecap on 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:23.010 the wet pier six weeks ago, meaning I'm trying 00:01:23.010 --> 00:01:25.909 so hard not to run, only doing gentle exercises 00:01:25.909 --> 00:01:29.329 at home and poetic walks in between errands. 00:01:30.349 --> 00:01:35.189 It feels quiet, Paris, even with the aeroplane 00:01:35.189 --> 00:01:37.689 and ambulance noises and the banging sounds of 00:01:37.689 --> 00:01:41.489 the sides of the barge hitting the pier. It feels 00:01:41.489 --> 00:01:44.230 quiet even with the drums of the world being 00:01:44.230 --> 00:01:48.140 beaten so violently and so predictably. Yet, I 00:01:48.140 --> 00:01:50.840 guess it is not a quiet before the storm for 00:01:50.840 --> 00:01:53.959 ones who brave the wind constantly, who live 00:01:53.959 --> 00:01:58.739 every day and die once only. It feels like a 00:01:58.739 --> 00:02:02.560 gap between ideas and manifestations and I am 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.239 trying to stay grounded and trust the process. 00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:10.719 What does that even mean? I am trying not to 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:15.129 question if I am on the right path still. Can 00:02:15.129 --> 00:02:17.590 one be on the wrong path when wishing only good 00:02:17.590 --> 00:02:21.030 things? Can one be on the wrong path wishing 00:02:21.030 --> 00:02:24.710 no harms on others? Is it enough, wishing and 00:02:24.710 --> 00:02:28.110 wanting? And which others? Is there only one? 00:02:29.090 --> 00:02:32.430 I feel that my questions about the world are 00:02:32.430 --> 00:02:36.689 no longer fake, not because it costs 30 % more 00:02:36.689 --> 00:02:39.849 to keep warm and cook compared to last month 00:02:39.849 --> 00:02:44.280 while salaries haven't gone up for years; I feel 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:46.719 that my questions about the world are no longer 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:49.599 fake because my daughter is currently peacefully 00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:55.289 sleeping on my bed. I've moved to the kitchen 00:02:55.289 --> 00:02:57.849 upstairs, made Sumatran coffee in the French 00:02:57.849 --> 00:03:00.710 press, having had to rewrite all the paragraphs 00:03:00.710 --> 00:03:03.789 above, which got lost due to a computer glitch 00:03:03.789 --> 00:03:06.789 on my travel through the red winding metal stairs 00:03:06.789 --> 00:03:10.550 and watched two pink-footed Egyptian geese walk 00:03:10.550 --> 00:03:13.930 on the pier before flying and disappearing above 00:03:13.930 --> 00:03:20.750 my boat. Smiling and even chuckling, I wasn't 00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:22.830 complaining about the loss of the written words. 00:03:23.629 --> 00:03:26.969 For as long as the essence is within me, and 00:03:26.969 --> 00:03:30.550 as long as I am free, I can still recreate them. 00:03:32.069 --> 00:03:35.689 What else is within me that I can create and 00:03:35.689 --> 00:03:39.629 recreate? Could poetry be enough to liberate 00:03:39.629 --> 00:03:46.310 myself and others? And which others? My daughter 00:03:46.310 --> 00:03:49.909 is now awake, and an "I love you" text from my 00:03:49.909 --> 00:03:54.599 son has just landed. And suddenly, it feels like 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:58.639 you're just the icing on the cake, Paris. Are 00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:01.960 you? Are you just a representation of everything 00:04:01.960 --> 00:04:04.740 that I have become, or are you my training ground 00:04:04.740 --> 00:04:10.759 because I am always becoming? It feels quiet, 00:04:11.020 --> 00:04:15.460 Paris. Only little foams on the choppy surface 00:04:15.460 --> 00:04:18.600 of the deep river answered my impractical questions. 00:04:20.649 --> 00:04:24.389 My heart is walking its poetic walks while my 00:04:24.389 --> 00:04:28.970 mind is running its errands. My body is almost 00:04:28.970 --> 00:04:33.149 still, except for the movements my hands make, 00:04:33.310 --> 00:04:38.470 writing these few quiet words, wishing the storm 00:04:38.470 --> 00:04:39.449 never arrives. londres, le 15 mars 2026. je t'embrasse !