WEBVTT 00:00:00.940 --> 00:00:05.459 I feel like trusting you. You have been warmer, 00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:09.720 Paris. These days you have been dry and I have 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:12.519 been running around with my tears as the only 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:16.179 wetness touching my skin on my solitary walks. 00:00:17.179 --> 00:00:20.379 You need not ask what kind of tears, for all 00:00:20.379 --> 00:00:23.260 kinds of tears wash my muddy heart a little and 00:00:23.260 --> 00:00:27.140 that's a good thing. The Divine Comedy's new 00:00:27.140 --> 00:00:30.519 album concert at Salle Pleyel last Tuesday was, 00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:35.600 all puns intended, divine. Not to mention I had 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:39.060 the best company, my partner in arts and Flash 00:00:39.060 --> 00:00:43.340 Invaders slash my host in Paris, and the best 00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:46.320 seats, given by the band's tour manager with a 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:48.560 little help from my fun boat friend in Chelsea. 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:53.299 Coffee meeting with an artist's manager the next 00:00:53.299 --> 00:00:57.109 day went as expected. and a drink date in the 00:00:57.109 --> 00:00:59.810 evening went super well it sent me straight 00:00:59.810 --> 00:01:04.170 to a walk to the river Seine. He made me laugh, 00:01:04.250 --> 00:01:07.530 all right, and he appreciated sadness more than 00:01:07.530 --> 00:01:10.569 he despised anger, which was might as well as 00:01:10.569 --> 00:01:14.010 I felt sad and a little angry afterwards, thinking 00:01:14.010 --> 00:01:18.269 about a recent past. In this case, anger is more 00:01:18.269 --> 00:01:20.469 empowering than guilt, and it might just be the 00:01:20.469 --> 00:01:22.790 very last stage of breakup I have to go through. 00:01:23.819 --> 00:01:29.060 Maybe the dinner date can wait. How about Paris? 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:32.599 I know now that beauty isn't only in the past 00:01:32.599 --> 00:01:35.500 like Dina wrote in a poem about two decades ago. 00:01:36.180 --> 00:01:39.680 And, although my solitary walks are sometimes 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:43.379 tearful, for whatever reasons, they are mostly 00:01:43.379 --> 00:01:47.620 filled with joyful sense of freedom. I could 00:01:47.620 --> 00:01:52.140 even see with my third eye sometimes how joyfully 00:01:52.140 --> 00:01:55.959 free I walk and that doubles my joy and sense 00:01:55.959 --> 00:02:00.739 of freedom within me. Mad joyful sense of freedom 00:02:00.739 --> 00:02:04.180 perhaps, as if I had no trouble in life at all, 00:02:04.299 --> 00:02:07.480 as if I was ready to walk in and out of places 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:10.639 and things based on how aligned they make me 00:02:10.639 --> 00:02:14.620 feel with myself, my principles, without feeling 00:02:14.620 --> 00:02:18.819 burdened by perceptions of others. These days, 00:02:19.060 --> 00:02:24.080 I have been well looked after. I am surrounded 00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:27.919 by not only my two wonderful children, who love 00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:30.719 me independently from whatever distance thrown 00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:35.240 between us, but other people who also allow me 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:38.560 to relearn how to receive love more than just 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:43.360 how to work in love. To experience to be accepted 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:46.400 without having to perform is to learn how to 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:51.020 love others more unconditionally. Oh, to feel 00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:56.520 so free. I wouldn't know which came first --the 00:02:56.520 --> 00:02:59.719 freedom to be myself or being accepted for myself, 00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:04.340 But the impact on my journey is profound and 00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:09.680 I am most grateful. I arrived back on my boat 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.620 just before midnight. Having done a pit stop 00:03:12.620 --> 00:03:15.599 to see Scottish Ballet's "Mary, Queen of Scots" 00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:18.379 at Sadler's Wells, straight from St Pancras. 00:03:19.020 --> 00:03:23.259 Wow, that was quite a mouthful. I am now keenly 00:03:23.259 --> 00:03:26.560 taking in all the things I managed to do in the 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:30.659 four nights I was with you, Paris. I'm not going 00:03:30.659 --> 00:03:34.000 to tell you all of it, but I got to see Katie 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.810 twice post her recent knee operation, even had 00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:41.129 a lunch out with her in a local restaurant's 00:03:41.129 --> 00:03:44.129 garden before I caught my afternoon Eurostar 00:03:44.129 --> 00:03:48.210 train yesterday. I had a second meeting with 00:03:48.210 --> 00:03:51.270 my sartorially stylish book cover and layout 00:03:51.270 --> 00:03:55.509 designer. Yes, yes, there has been a delay in 00:03:55.509 --> 00:03:58.389 republishing my poetry collection bilingually, 00:03:58.449 --> 00:04:03.300 but trust me, it's for a good cause. The casually 00:04:03.300 --> 00:04:06.680 serious chats and errands with my art curator 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:10.039 friend have been gaining steady momentum and 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:17.060 it is fulfilling. London is cold and misty, Paris, 00:04:17.060 --> 00:04:21.699 and I feel naked and exposed to my deepest desires 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:26.939 that often scare me. I feel like resting without 00:04:26.939 --> 00:04:33.439 guilt and intimacy sans insecurity. I feel like 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:36.379 settling with the knowledge that settling down 00:04:36.379 --> 00:04:40.699 isn't a goal but a mindset flaw wrapped in security 00:04:40.699 --> 00:04:44.519 and aggressively promoted by our society to keep 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:48.100 us away from poetry and other rebellious accessories. 00:04:49.459 --> 00:04:53.779 I feel like trusting myself even more and more 00:04:53.779 --> 00:04:59.600 constantly as I move and rest, move and rest, 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:07.149 freely. I feel like trusting you with my constant 00:05:07.149 --> 00:05:12.470 learning and change. londres, le 8 mars 2026 00:05:12.629 --> 00:05:13.290 je t'embrasse !