WEBVTT 00:00:00.940 --> 00:00:05.459 I feel like trusting you. You have been warmer, 00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:09.720 Paris. These days you have been dry and I have 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:12.539 been running around with my tears as the only 00:00:12.539 --> 00:00:16.179 wetness touching my skin on my solitary walks. 00:00:17.179 --> 00:00:20.379 You need not ask what kind of tears, for all 00:00:20.379 --> 00:00:23.260 kinds of tears wash my muddy heart a little and 00:00:23.260 --> 00:00:27.140 that's a good thing. The Divine Comedy's new 00:00:27.140 --> 00:00:30.519 album concert at Salle Pleyel last Tuesday was, 00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:35.600 all puns intended, divine. Not to mention I had 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:39.060 the best company, my partner in arts and Flash 00:00:39.060 --> 00:00:43.340 Invaders slash my host in Paris, at our best 00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:46.320 seats given by the band's tour manager with a 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:48.539 little help from my fun boat friend in Chelsea. 00:00:50.539 --> 00:00:53.219 Coffee meeting with an artist's manager the next 00:00:53.219 --> 00:00:57.100 day went as expected, and a drink date in the 00:00:57.100 --> 00:00:59.820 evening went super well it sent me straight 00:00:59.820 --> 00:01:04.219 to a walk to the river Seine. He made me laugh 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:07.519 alright, and he appreciated sadness more than 00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:10.579 he despised anger, which was might as well as 00:01:10.579 --> 00:01:14.000 I felt sad and a little angry afterwards, thinking 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:18.079 about a recent past. In this case, anger is 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:20.140 more empowering than guilt and it might just 00:01:20.140 --> 00:01:22.519 be the very last stage of breakup I have to go 00:01:22.519 --> 00:01:28.140 through. Maybe the dinner date can wait. Oh, 00:01:28.140 --> 00:01:31.939 but, Paris, I know now that beauty isn't only 00:01:31.939 --> 00:01:34.840 in the past like Dina wrote in a poem about two 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:39.219 decades ago. And although my solitary walks are 00:01:39.219 --> 00:01:42.840 sometimes tearful for whatever reasons, they 00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:45.620 are mostly filled with joyful sense of freedom. 00:01:46.989 --> 00:01:50.349 I could even see with my third eye sometimes 00:01:50.349 --> 00:01:54.950 how joyfully free I walk, and that doubles my 00:01:54.950 --> 00:01:59.409 joy and sense of freedom within me. Mad joyful 00:01:59.409 --> 00:02:03.310 sense of freedom, perhaps, as if I had no trouble 00:02:03.310 --> 00:02:06.629 in life at all, as if I was ready to walk in 00:02:06.629 --> 00:02:09.830 and out of places and things based on how aligned 00:02:09.830 --> 00:02:12.990 they make me feel with myself, my principles. 00:02:13.900 --> 00:02:16.460 without feeling burdened by perceptions of others. 00:02:17.659 --> 00:02:23.379 These days, I have been well looked after. I 00:02:23.379 --> 00:02:26.800 am surrounded by not only my two wonderful children 00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:30.139 who love me independently from whatever distance 00:02:30.139 --> 00:02:34.599 thrown between us, but other people who also 00:02:34.599 --> 00:02:38.099 allow me to relearn how to receive love more 00:02:38.099 --> 00:02:42.419 than just how to work in love. To experience 00:02:42.419 --> 00:02:45.599 to be accepted without having to perform is to 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:48.280 learn how to love others more unconditionally. 00:02:49.620 --> 00:02:54.500 Oh, to feel so free! I wouldn't know which came 00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:58.960 first, the freedom to be myself or being accepted 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:03.520 for myself. But the impact on my journey is profound 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:09.379 and I am most grateful. I arrived back on my 00:03:09.379 --> 00:03:12.400 boat just before midnight. Having done a pit 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.180 stop to see Scottish Ballet's 'Mary, Queen of 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:18.360 Scots', at Sadler's Well, straight from St Pancras. 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:23.259 Wow, that was quite a mouthful. I am now keenly 00:03:23.259 --> 00:03:26.560 taking in all the things I managed to do in the 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:30.680 four nights I was with you, Paris. I'm not going 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.000 to tell you all of it, but I got to see Katie 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.810 twice post her recent knee operation. Even had 00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:41.129 a lunch out with her in a local restaurant's 00:03:41.129 --> 00:03:44.129 garden before I caught my afternoon Eurostar 00:03:44.129 --> 00:03:48.210 train yesterday. I had a second meeting with 00:03:48.210 --> 00:03:51.270 my sartorially stylish book cover and layout 00:03:51.270 --> 00:03:55.509 designer. Yes, yes, there has been a delay in 00:03:55.509 --> 00:03:58.370 republishing my poetry collection bilingually. 00:03:58.629 --> 00:04:03.300 But trust me, it's for a good cause. The casually 00:04:03.300 --> 00:04:06.680 serious chats and errands with my art curator 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:10.080 friend have been gaining steady momentum and 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:17.040 it is fulfilling. London is cold and misty, Paris, 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:21.720 and I feel naked and exposed to my deepest desires 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:26.939 that often scare me. I feel like resting without 00:04:26.939 --> 00:04:33.480 guilt; an intimacy sans insecurity. I feel like 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:36.379 settling with the knowledge that settling down 00:04:36.379 --> 00:04:40.720 isn't a goal but a mindset flaw wrapped in security 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:44.500 and aggressively promoted by our society to keep 00:04:44.500 --> 00:04:48.079 us away from poetry and other rebellious accessories. 00:04:49.500 --> 00:04:53.800 I feel like trusting myself even more, and more 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:59.699 constantly, as I move and rest, move and rest, 00:04:59.779 --> 00:05:07.139 freely. I feel like trusting you with my constant 00:05:07.139 --> 00:05:08.399 learning and change. londres, le 8 mars 2026, je t'embrasse !