WEBVTT

00:00:01.129 --> 00:00:07.910
My liberated love. Bonjour, mon amour. I spent

00:00:07.910 --> 00:00:11.410
too much time at the gambling table and didn't

00:00:11.410 --> 00:00:14.449
dance with anyone at the 1930s ball organised

00:00:14.449 --> 00:00:17.030
by La Baronne de Paname at Salle Colonne last

00:00:17.030 --> 00:00:21.109
night. I felt that the spirit of my gangster

00:00:21.109 --> 00:00:24.109
papa might have been with me and my wing girl Katie,

00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:27.260
or maybe it was my stellar late mama, especially

00:00:27.260 --> 00:00:29.640
when we were winning the roulette in between

00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:32.579
enjoying our friends on stage and on the dance

00:00:32.579 --> 00:00:36.479
floor where mere mortals mingled. I'm not one

00:00:36.479 --> 00:00:39.859
of them, obviously; I'm a poet, and we poets

00:00:39.859 --> 00:00:42.979
think we'll live forever, even with the sadness

00:00:42.979 --> 00:00:46.640
of the world. Especially with the sadness of

00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:50.880
the world. Turning down offers for a dance was

00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:54.119
proven to be profitable for my current aching

00:00:54.119 --> 00:00:58.000
back and mixing champagne and aperol spritz, at

00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:00.820
same price per glass, was proven to be safe for

00:01:00.820 --> 00:01:04.739
my gambling and my head the morning after. In

00:01:04.739 --> 00:01:09.019
any case, my glamorous gold lurex gown is still

00:01:09.019 --> 00:01:13.000
intact and my white marabou stole is still white.

00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:19.980
And my heart? My heart is doing just fine, I

00:01:19.980 --> 00:01:24.620
think. My heart is still my heart, trying to

00:01:24.620 --> 00:01:26.980
dictate my thinking even when I'm thinking to

00:01:26.980 --> 00:01:30.739
get it aligned with my head. Or was it just my

00:01:30.739 --> 00:01:34.040
body in its strife to detach certain sensations

00:01:34.040 --> 00:01:38.939
from an expired desire? Having been absent from

00:01:38.939 --> 00:01:41.859
running for a few days doesn't help, though the

00:01:41.859 --> 00:01:45.340
innocent flirting, and the occasional less-so,

00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:48.260
which is rare, has kept me feeling rather fit

00:01:48.260 --> 00:01:51.140
even when I'm actually under the weather, just

00:01:51.140 --> 00:01:56.799
a little. My little heart, pretending to be big,

00:01:56.939 --> 00:01:59.840
who gets the hurt from my strong conviction,

00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:04.420
can handle it. But perhaps I lied when I said

00:02:04.420 --> 00:02:06.859
my heart didn't need soothing when I broke it

00:02:06.859 --> 00:02:09.879
with my rational decision -- to break up in December,

00:02:10.020 --> 00:02:15.699
for example. -- or at least I was confused. Now,

00:02:15.719 --> 00:02:19.699
after waves of pain, guilt and even anger, which

00:02:19.699 --> 00:02:23.439
surprised my heart a little, I know my rational

00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:27.419
conviction, my principles are what soothe my

00:02:27.419 --> 00:02:31.900
pain because they give meaning to it, and meaning

00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:35.280
is as important as life itself, if not more.

00:02:37.240 --> 00:02:40.599
My meaningful pain doesn't take away my capacity

00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:44.860
to love, Paris, and I'm loving you meaningfully,

00:02:44.979 --> 00:02:49.099
you handsome, quirky, elegant, old-fashioned

00:02:49.099 --> 00:02:54.039
and philosophical thing. I'm loving my host family,

00:02:54.259 --> 00:02:57.539
my coffee dates and bar hopping with my friends,

00:02:57.819 --> 00:03:01.000
my impromptu bouillon or Indonesian restaurant

00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:04.599
suppers, my artist friends' vernissages and my

00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:09.180
poetic walk, long or short. I'm loving the causes

00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:13.400
of my wild laughter as equally as my quiet moments

00:03:13.400 --> 00:03:16.780
in the crowd, sometimes in the middle of a conversation.

00:03:19.020 --> 00:03:22.199
I'm loving the Parisians' compliments as much

00:03:22.199 --> 00:03:25.000
as the times they leave me alone to read my books,

00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:28.159
sometimes in French, because I can read with

00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:31.240
my heart --I've learned to say 'tantôt' instead

00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:35.139
of 'parfois' from Guy de Maupassant recently. I'll

00:03:35.139 --> 00:03:37.219
let you debate the utilisation of it with your

00:03:37.219 --> 00:03:39.840
gorgeous intellectual neighbours while I meditate

00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:43.340
to minimise the number of lovers I need in one

00:03:43.340 --> 00:03:47.000
monthly cycle. You'll be surprised how well I

00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.520
meditate if you've experienced my cheeky smile.

00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:53.620
The river Seine is fuller than usual last time

00:03:53.620 --> 00:03:56.819
I checked, covering the parts where I used to

00:03:56.819 --> 00:04:00.840
picnic in the Quartier Latin, and the crackling

00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:04.400
Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 on the record player

00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:07.840
is drowning my non -existent plans for the rest

00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:12.840
of the day. I'm biting my coffee -washed red

00:04:12.840 --> 00:04:17.819
lip, thinking of you and feeling how close I

00:04:17.819 --> 00:04:22.800
feel to you right this moment, exactly because

00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:31.000
you liberate me. Paris, le 20 février 2026. Je

00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:31.620
t 'embrasse.