WEBVTT 00:00:01.929 --> 00:00:08.810 My liberated love. Bonjour, mon amour. I spent 00:00:08.810 --> 00:00:12.349 too much time at the gambling table and didn't 00:00:12.349 --> 00:00:15.369 dance with anyone at the 1930s ball organised 00:00:15.369 --> 00:00:17.949 by La Baronne de Paname at Salle Cologne last 00:00:17.949 --> 00:00:22.030 night. I felt that the spirit of my gangster 00:00:22.030 --> 00:00:25.050 papa might have been with me and my wing girl Katie-- 00:00:25.980 --> 00:00:28.179 or maybe it was my stellar late mama, especially 00:00:28.179 --> 00:00:30.559 when we were winning the roulette in between 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.500 enjoying our friends on stage and on the dance 00:00:33.500 --> 00:00:37.399 floor where mere mortals mingled. I'm not one 00:00:37.399 --> 00:00:40.780 of them, obviously. I'm a poet, and we poets 00:00:40.780 --> 00:00:43.899 think we'll live forever, even with the sadness 00:00:43.899 --> 00:00:47.579 of the world. Especially with the sadness of 00:00:47.579 --> 00:00:51.799 the world. Turning down offers for a dance was 00:00:51.799 --> 00:00:55.060 proven to be profitable for my current aching 00:00:55.060 --> 00:00:58.920 back and mixing champagne and Aperol spritz (at 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:01.740 same price per glass) was proven to be safe for 00:01:01.740 --> 00:01:05.659 my gambling and my head the morning after. In 00:01:05.659 --> 00:01:09.939 any case, my glamorous gold lurex gown is still 00:01:09.939 --> 00:01:13.920 intact and my white marabou stole is still white. 00:01:15.379 --> 00:01:20.879 And my heart, my heart is doing just fine, I 00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:25.540 think. My heart is still my heart, trying to 00:01:25.540 --> 00:01:27.920 dictate my thinking even when I'm thinking to 00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:31.640 get it aligned with my head. Or was it just my 00:01:31.640 --> 00:01:34.980 body in its strife to detach certain sensations 00:01:34.980 --> 00:01:39.879 from an expired desire? Having been absent from 00:01:39.879 --> 00:01:42.780 running for a few days doesn't help, though the 00:01:42.780 --> 00:01:46.260 innocent flirting and the occasional less -so, 00:01:46.340 --> 00:01:49.200 which is rare, has kept me feeling rather fit 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:52.159 even when I'm actually under the weather. Just 00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:57.739 a little. My little heart, pretending to be big, 00:01:57.859 --> 00:02:00.739 who gets the hurt from my strong conviction, 00:02:01.079 --> 00:02:05.340 can handle it. But perhaps I lied when I said 00:02:05.340 --> 00:02:07.780 my heart didn't need soothing when I broke it 00:02:07.780 --> 00:02:10.800 with my rational decision to break up in December, 00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:16.639 for example. Or at least I was confused. Now, 00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:20.639 after waves of pain, guilt, and even anger, which 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:24.340 surprised my heart a little, I know my rational 00:02:24.340 --> 00:02:28.360 conviction, my principles, are what soothe my 00:02:28.360 --> 00:02:32.819 pain, because they give meaning to it. And meaning 00:02:32.819 --> 00:02:36.219 is as important as life itself, if not more. 00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:41.479 My meaningful pain doesn't take away my capacity 00:02:41.479 --> 00:02:45.800 to love, Paris. And I'm loving you meaningfully, 00:02:45.900 --> 00:02:50.039 you handsome, quirky, elegant, old-fashioned 00:02:50.039 --> 00:02:54.960 and philosophical thing! I'm loving my host family, 00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:58.460 my coffee dates and bar hopping with my friends; 00:02:58.740 --> 00:03:01.919 my impromptu bouillon or Indonesian restaurant 00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:05.520 suppers; my artist friends' vernissage and my 00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:10.099 poetic walk, long or short. I'm loving the causes 00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:14.319 of my wild laughters as equally as my quiet moments 00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:17.740 in the crowd--sometimes in the middle of a conversation. 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:23.120 I'm loving the Parisians' compliments as much 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.919 as the times they leave me alone to read my books, 00:03:26.139 --> 00:03:29.080 sometimes in French, because I can read with 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:32.159 my heart. I've learned to say 'tantôt' instead 00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:36.060 of 'parfois' from Guy de Maupassant recently -- I'll 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:38.159 let you debate the utilisation of it with your 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:40.740 gorgeous intellectual neighbours while I meditate 00:03:40.740 --> 00:03:44.280 to minimise the number of lovers I need in one 00:03:44.280 --> 00:03:47.879 monthly cycle -- you'll be surprised how well I 00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:50.460 meditate if you've experienced my cheeky smile. 00:03:51.659 --> 00:03:54.560 The river Seine is fuller than usual last time 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:57.759 I checked, covering the parts where I used to 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:01.750 picnic in the Quartier Latin, and the crackling 00:04:01.750 --> 00:04:05.330 Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 on the record player 00:04:05.330 --> 00:04:08.729 is drowning my non-existent plans for the rest 00:04:08.729 --> 00:04:13.750 of the day. I'm biting my coffee-washed red 00:04:13.750 --> 00:04:18.730 lip, thinking of you and feeling how close I 00:04:18.730 --> 00:04:23.709 feel to you right this moment, exactly because 00:04:23.709 --> 00:04:30.600 you liberate me. paris, le 22 février 2026. 00:04:31.079 --> 00:04:32.459 je t 'embresse.