WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.599 Quiet joy. It's quiet, Paris. The rain is dancing 00:00:08.599 --> 00:00:12.519 lightly on the pier and on the deck and I feel 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:16.960 as light--ben it's just getting heavier all 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:25.379 of a sudden. Now it's tiptoeing again. Getting 00:00:25.379 --> 00:00:34.600 heavy again. And back to its lightness. You get 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:40.399 the idea. Yet, all the same, it feels quiet in 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:45.179 my world. First night sleeping on my neighbour's 00:00:45.179 --> 00:00:48.000 boat was a quiet success (chatty owner is still 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:51.280 in India, that's why), except for when the record 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:54.100 player decided to play my Bach vinyl on its own. 00:00:54.729 --> 00:00:57.829 Ten minutes after Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 00:00:57.829 --> 00:01:00.890 in F Major, which was the last song on side one, 00:01:01.009 --> 00:01:04.849 ended, for two seconds only, and only twice, 00:01:05.209 --> 00:01:07.930 while I was on a call with my crazy and talented 00:01:07.930 --> 00:01:11.790 classical improviser pianist friend Julian, quietly 00:01:11.790 --> 00:01:14.629 talking about fugue, which I'm quietly learning 00:01:14.629 --> 00:01:18.250 about, about his Mahjong winning, and a few projects. 00:01:18.530 --> 00:01:22.829 Shh, quiet, before the posh spirit says hello 00:01:22.829 --> 00:01:28.700 again. Once again, I've made a new space into 00:01:28.700 --> 00:01:32.700 a home with my personal belongings and arrangement, 00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:36.319 with minor leaks, water supply and thermostat 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:42.180 behaviour dealt with quietly. I'm smiling, Paris; 00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:46.980 that last sentence made me smile. The lemongrass 00:01:46.980 --> 00:01:49.799 scent coming out of the humidifier makes me smile. 00:01:50.989 --> 00:01:53.870 My feet are starting to feel chilly while I'm 00:01:53.870 --> 00:01:56.250 sitting on a chair cross-legged in front of 00:01:56.250 --> 00:01:59.090 a large freestanding mirror--thoroughly cleaned, 00:01:59.209 --> 00:02:02.510 with my computer on my lap--hence it's called 00:02:02.510 --> 00:02:06.849 a laptop, and I'm smiling because I have my oil 00:02:06.849 --> 00:02:09.650 -filled radiator in this room ready to be turned 00:02:09.650 --> 00:02:16.189 on. Quietly. My adaptability that helps me feel 00:02:16.189 --> 00:02:21.530 at home in a new space makes me smile. I'm smiling 00:02:21.530 --> 00:02:25.110 at my quietly sore legs from running three kilo meters 00:02:25.110 --> 00:02:27.569 every single morning for the last five days. 00:02:28.509 --> 00:02:30.389 You'll understand that this is an achievement 00:02:30.389 --> 00:02:33.490 when I tell you that my set goal after starting 00:02:33.490 --> 00:02:36.150 about six weeks ago is still just five minutes, 00:02:37.129 --> 00:02:39.689 so that I am always sure I'll reach that goal 00:02:39.689 --> 00:02:42.009 when I step outside in my cute running gear 00:02:42.490 --> 00:02:45.330 (well, the running gear is okay, but I'm cute), 00:02:45.669 --> 00:02:49.069 so that I get to hype myself up after five minutes. 00:02:49.789 --> 00:02:54.069 And that almost always boosts my mood and motivates 00:02:54.069 --> 00:02:58.050 me to run longer. There are days that I only 00:02:58.050 --> 00:03:01.409 run for five minutes, but they are rare and they 00:03:01.409 --> 00:03:04.930 still make me feel great. It reinforces my belief 00:03:04.930 --> 00:03:09.449 that I can handle anything, all that bliss ahead 00:03:09.449 --> 00:03:13.789 of me. I haven't always been running first thing 00:03:13.789 --> 00:03:17.580 in the morning--after the meditation. Sometimes 00:03:17.580 --> 00:03:21.240 it's in the afternoon or in the evening and 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:24.560 I've been chill about it. My flexibility makes 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:28.479 me smile. The meditation is getting quieter, 00:03:28.699 --> 00:03:32.759 without music, and longer, closer to an hour 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:36.580 again. And that makes me ache. Sorry, I meant 00:03:36.580 --> 00:03:39.759 smile. And slightly hornier than usual, actually. 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:50.280 Imagine that. Shh. Breathe. Writing is going 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:54.699 well. Excuse me? Writing is getting quietly exciting 00:03:54.699 --> 00:03:58.340 now as I have set a stage for scenes and conversations 00:03:58.340 --> 00:04:02.539 that quietly come to me as I calm my libido down-- 00:04:02.759 --> 00:04:07.240 I mean, as I go about my day. Same, same; sexual 00:04:07.240 --> 00:04:09.939 energy and creative energy is one and the same. 00:04:10.259 --> 00:04:14.659 Right? Doesn't matter. Something is quietly flourishing 00:04:14.659 --> 00:04:20.250 inside of me and it is joyful. It is joyful when 00:04:20.250 --> 00:04:23.790 I'm cooking, it is joyful when I'm being spoiled 00:04:23.790 --> 00:04:27.529 by a restaurant. It is joyful when I'm making 00:04:27.529 --> 00:04:31.310 my own coffee, it is joyful when I pay just under 00:04:31.310 --> 00:04:35.430 five quid for a flat white. It is joyful when 00:04:35.430 --> 00:04:39.089 I'm running, it is joyful when I'm sitting still. 00:04:40.189 --> 00:04:44.269 It is joyful when I'm with my daughter or with 00:04:44.269 --> 00:04:47.689 my son, who just quietly turned 21 this week, 00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:50.639 and it is joyful when I'm alone with myself. 00:04:51.939 --> 00:04:56.180 It is joyful when someone says I look beautiful, 00:04:57.399 --> 00:05:00.319 it is joyful when someone takes their time to 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:04.800 reply to my text. It is joyful when it's sunny, 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:10.379 and it is even more joyful when it's raining 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:18.720 (I'm rare, I know). Quietly, Paris, everything that 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:23.699 I want is gaining momentum. Joyfully, Paris, 00:05:23.959 --> 00:05:28.220 I know that everything that I am is gaining momentum. 00:05:29.740 --> 00:05:34.639 Like clouds, as beautiful as ones I saw above 00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:38.720 Van Gogh's grave in Auvers-sur-Oise, gathering 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:44.540 and getting thicker. When it rains, it pours, 00:05:44.540 --> 00:05:52.300 well, or it drizzles like English rain, quietly, 00:05:52.519 --> 00:06:01.839 persistently, joyfully. Either way, Paris, I'm 00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:02.579 already wet. londres, le 25 janvier 2026 je t’embrasse !