WEBVTT 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:07.500 A home at last. A bientôt Paris. I made it back 00:00:07.500 --> 00:00:10.539 to the pier in Chelsea this morning feeling drowsy 00:00:10.539 --> 00:00:15.800 yet happy and with clarity. Yes, I had to run 00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:18.440 from my last Parisian abode in Montmartre to 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:21.339 Gare du Nord with a massive suitcase, a heavy 00:00:21.339 --> 00:00:25.120 backpack, a handbag, a stick umbrella and a box 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:27.879 of galettes des rois less than an hour before my 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:30.730 Eurostar departure, having tried to get an Uber 00:00:30.730 --> 00:00:33.649 a few times to no avail, thanks to some running 00:00:33.649 --> 00:00:36.929 competition on my route, but I was so certain 00:00:36.929 --> 00:00:40.310 things were going to be all right. More than 00:00:40.310 --> 00:00:44.130 all right. Things have been more than all right, 00:00:44.210 --> 00:00:48.850 Paris. Things have been magical. My generous 00:00:48.850 --> 00:00:51.810 hosts and friends in Nation looked after me 00:00:51.810 --> 00:00:55.770 wonderfully while I was staying there. I was 00:00:55.770 --> 00:00:58.890 not only taken care of. with delicious homemade 00:00:58.890 --> 00:01:02.210 food and fulfilling conversations in their beautiful 00:01:02.210 --> 00:01:06.510 Haussmannian apartment, but also allowed the space 00:01:06.510 --> 00:01:09.750 so I could write, and the freedom to go out until 00:01:09.750 --> 00:01:13.629 late so that I had something to write. For this, 00:01:13.689 --> 00:01:21.129 I am most grateful and enormously moved. In the 00:01:21.129 --> 00:01:24.969 end. I got to go to La Coupole's monthly Paris 00:01:24.969 --> 00:01:27.849 Follies night and dressed up as a single princess 00:01:27.849 --> 00:01:30.989 and wearing a crown again (this time Russian 00:01:30.989 --> 00:01:33.870 for the Slavic night); see a burlesque performance 00:01:33.870 --> 00:01:37.650 with my beautiful and quirky showgirls; sit at 00:01:37.650 --> 00:01:40.049 cafes with old and new friends for a couple of 00:01:40.049 --> 00:01:43.349 drinks; go to friends' Indonesian restaurants 00:01:43.349 --> 00:01:47.379 for specially reserved meals; infiltrate a furniture 00:01:47.379 --> 00:01:49.879 brand cocktail party in Saint -Germain -des -Prés; 00:01:50.060 --> 00:01:52.739 pretend to be an interior designer for a few 00:01:52.739 --> 00:01:56.000 hours at Maison et Objets exhibition in Villepinte 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:59.340 to get shiny catalogues and totes and practice 00:01:59.340 --> 00:02:03.879 my acting; and enjoy a jazz show at Le Bal Blomet 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:07.319 as a special invite by my talented pianist friend 00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:13.280 Bastien. I even got recognized as a poet, not 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:17.000 a millionaire yet. by an Indonesian bookshop 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:20.300 owner who is currently studying at La Sorbonne 00:02:20.300 --> 00:02:25.360 while I went to a restaurant by myself. In the 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:29.840 end, I got to drink red wine and fussy with white, 00:02:30.020 --> 00:02:33.800 alone, making notes on my smart Moleskine papers 00:02:33.800 --> 00:02:36.800 or reading in the middle of people watching. 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:43.289 In the end, I got to walk Parisian streets, a 00:02:43.289 --> 00:02:48.449 lot of Parisian streets, alone, in the heart-warmingly 00:02:48.449 --> 00:02:51.969 mild January weather that I didn't get a chance 00:02:51.969 --> 00:02:55.650 to wear tights under my skirts and dresses when 00:02:55.650 --> 00:02:59.129 I wasn't wearing my baggy jeans, breathing in 00:02:59.129 --> 00:03:03.729 the love and stories available to me, exhaling 00:03:03.729 --> 00:03:07.250 my doubts, sometimes buying second-hand books 00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:12.550 and always catching flash invaders. In the end, 00:03:12.689 --> 00:03:17.110 I didn't skip a single running day or writing 00:03:17.110 --> 00:03:22.469 day. A decade has passed since Imagined Paris' 00:03:22.750 --> 00:03:26.169 first love letter, yet some people still ask, 00:03:26.330 --> 00:03:30.430 why Paris? And I could never respond with more 00:03:30.430 --> 00:03:33.969 than, 'because I was reborn in Paris', 'because 00:03:33.969 --> 00:03:37.909 I feel at home in Paris', or 'because most of my 00:03:37.909 --> 00:03:42.650 friends are in Paris'. But, as salty water went 00:03:42.650 --> 00:03:47.370 upstream into my eyes from inhaling traces of 00:03:47.370 --> 00:03:52.669 my soul back in my solitary Parisian walks, I 00:03:52.669 --> 00:03:59.150 can now say: in the end, I have a physical place 00:03:59.150 --> 00:04:03.669 I could call home. And that is huge, because 00:04:03.669 --> 00:04:06.930 though it was noble and all to call my heart 00:04:06.930 --> 00:04:09.900 a home, my heart doesn't mind letting her hair 00:04:09.900 --> 00:04:13.759 down every so often. My heart doesn't mind simply 00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:17.420 existing without the burden of providing freedom 00:04:17.420 --> 00:04:23.459 and joy. Because freedom and joy are given when 00:04:23.459 --> 00:04:29.600 she's in Paris. Because in Paris, she is fully 00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:35.519 open. I now feel so embraced while embracing 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:39.800 all my Parisian phases--the 'young and abandoned' 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:43.959 Dina, the 'unhappily married' Dina, the 'reborn 00:04:43.959 --> 00:04:47.560 and rebellious' Dina, the 'single and not on the 00:04:47.560 --> 00:04:51.660 dating apps' Dina, the 'insatiable Londoner girlfriend' 00:04:51.660 --> 00:04:55.620 Dina, and the current phase I haven't got a label 00:04:55.620 --> 00:05:01.220 for yet. The 'current phase' Dina is untethered. 00:05:02.029 --> 00:05:06.449 Free. She is so free she isn't afraid of opening 00:05:06.449 --> 00:05:10.290 the old band-aid slowly, airing the wounds and 00:05:10.290 --> 00:05:12.870 redressing and healing them by giving them a 00:05:12.870 --> 00:05:18.129 voice. A few hundred words at a time. She is 00:05:18.129 --> 00:05:21.970 so free she gives herself permission to be soft 00:05:21.970 --> 00:05:26.250 and to breathe and walk slowly as if not having 00:05:26.250 --> 00:05:30.149 a purpose. Because the purpose is to be free. 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:34.819 The purpose is done and it's time to live it 00:05:34.819 --> 00:05:40.000 and keep on becoming because of it. To the 'current 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:46.160 phase' Dina, home is where freedom is. And she 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:50.939 feels most free in Paris. She can call Paris 00:05:50.939 --> 00:05:56.100 her home--a physical, emotional and metaphysical 00:05:56.100 --> 00:06:06.279 home. I'm home at last! londres, le 18 janvier 2026, je t'embrasse!