WEBVTT

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I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you, Paris.

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I've been walking with you through your jazz

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nights and my solitary sleeps, your red sky and

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your wet streets, and I've been running in the

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dark every single morning except for today. Today

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I went running around nine, for I came back from

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a DJ set full of gen-Z's in Pigalle to my wonderfully

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understanding hosts just before four. I'm looking

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at you, Paris. Last Sunday I decided I wanted

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you and myself too, and the consulate returned

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my British passport two days after my document

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submission, in time for my filming schedule in

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Paris, which has to be done before Christmas,

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with my first French long-stay visa on it. I'm

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slightly sorry I had to test everyone like that,

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but I'm guessing you wanted me too-- me and myself,

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who I cannot lose over anything? I'm looking at

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you, are we still seeing each other eye to eye?

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Can you see that I have grown? I know now that

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I'm not lost, that I have never been lost. I am

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one who doesn't stop seeking--seeking my growth,

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my expansion; I am one who doesn't stop becoming,

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and what a heck of a person have I become! I'm

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looking at you--have you grown with me, Paris?

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Is that you allowing me to relax about not knowing

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what I'm going to do or even where I'm going

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to live come the new year? I'm here right now

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and I'm practicing my art. I'm writing and I'm

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acting again. I'm acting in Paris again. My daughter

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can hardly cope with how cool her ibu is. Well,

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maybe she can, but I still 'eat'. I'm looking at

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you, Paris, and I'm satisfied with you the way

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you are now, even though my seeking nature cannot

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help but imagine a certain version of you in

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my vision from where I am looking at you now.

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I've been asked what happens when I'm finally

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one with Paris. First of all, I've always been

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one with Paris. I am Parisian partout. Secondly,

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there will always be imagined Paris. For there

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will never be a finished version of you. For

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there will never be a finished version of me.

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For as long as I live. I'm looking at you, Paris.

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My pains have brought me to you. All the heartbreaks,

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all the betrayals, all the deceptions, all the

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losses, my childhood sufferings that have fuelled

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my poetry and my immense love for this world

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have brought me face to face with you. Now as

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equals. Now two free entities who love themselves

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and want to be with each other because they accept

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each other's values and inspire growth in one

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another. I'm looking at you, Paris. I'm surrounded

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by music and by artists, whether here or in London,

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where I'm going back to tonight. I expect it

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will be the same wherever I go now. I'm surrounded

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by the sure knowledge about myself. I'm looking

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at you looking back at me, and I'm loving what

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I see. Paris. Le 21 décembre 2025. Je t 'embrasse.