WEBVTT 00:00:00.839 --> 00:00:10.439 Reprise. Bonjour Paris. Today, I feel free. I 00:00:10.439 --> 00:00:12.619 have been walking with myself for the last few 00:00:12.619 --> 00:00:17.300 days and today, I walk like someone in love. 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.699 Little dances that I predicted last week have 00:00:21.699 --> 00:00:24.579 been translated into something more profound 00:00:24.579 --> 00:00:29.039 and more aligned with who I am, that is tears 00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:35.520 of joy. For the past few days, I have been walking 00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:40.899 with myself and trying to soothe her. But I know 00:00:40.899 --> 00:00:46.060 now, she doesn't need soothing. She is always 00:00:46.060 --> 00:00:50.200 there. She is everything that I have become. 00:00:51.020 --> 00:00:53.840 And I just need to go where she is and walk with 00:00:53.840 --> 00:01:01.909 her. With myself. Always. Focused. Deliberate. 00:01:02.890 --> 00:01:07.090 Until it becomes automatic and still, I will 00:01:07.090 --> 00:01:11.010 focus on deliberately walking with her, wearing 00:01:11.010 --> 00:01:14.409 the same fabulous designer vibes on the same 00:01:14.409 --> 00:01:17.769 ground or water--I'm living on a boat in Chelsea 00:01:17.769 --> 00:01:22.530 for Charlie's sake. Who's Charlie? If I tripped 00:01:22.530 --> 00:01:26.209 Paris, I want you to know that it wasn't the 00:01:26.209 --> 00:01:30.400 kir royal, nor it was the old-fashioned. It 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:33.019 wasn't the cobblestone streets where my Parisian 00:01:33.019 --> 00:01:38.239 home belongs. It was me, straying from her, from 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:41.760 our common ground, from everything that I want. 00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:45.980 It was me being distracted by things I don't 00:01:45.980 --> 00:01:49.560 want and trying so hard to turn them into everything 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:56.780 that I want. Today, I understand why it didn't 00:01:56.780 --> 00:02:02.159 take long to feel this way again--free, in love 00:02:02.159 --> 00:02:08.419 clear. If anything, it should have been instantaneous 00:02:08.419 --> 00:02:13.120 once I reached her within. It's reaching her that 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:18.199 I, perhaps, was out of practice at. Only slightly, 00:02:18.199 --> 00:02:22.539 fortunately. Now bring in the morning coffee! With 00:02:22.539 --> 00:02:26.219 soy milk if you have, otherwise un double espresso ca marche merveilleusement! 00:02:29.389 --> 00:02:32.110 I have been running every single day come rain 00:02:32.110 --> 00:02:34.969 or shine for the last two days, and it's been 00:02:34.969 --> 00:02:38.069 sunny every day, even exceeding my goals of five 00:02:38.069 --> 00:02:41.889 minutes each time, woo -hoo, I have finally finished 00:02:41.889 --> 00:02:45.389 translating all the poems in my old book published 00:02:45.389 --> 00:02:48.629 over 20 years ago for bilingual re-publication, 00:02:48.669 --> 00:02:52.349 and I realised that I had written down this path 00:02:52.349 --> 00:02:56.270 with self a long time ago, yet I can only understand 00:02:56.270 --> 00:03:03.099 it now. And I want you, Paris. I want her and 00:03:03.099 --> 00:03:09.000 I want you too. And I know I can have tout! You 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:13.139 are part of what she's become: parisian partout. 00:03:15.219 --> 00:03:18.319 I came back to you after years, over a year ago, 00:03:18.379 --> 00:03:23.659 Paris. Just before I turned 40. I came back to 00:03:23.659 --> 00:03:28.189 you with myself. I called it 'walking down the 00:03:28.189 --> 00:03:32.889 old path with my new self'. I had left behind 00:03:32.889 --> 00:03:36.530 everything and everyone that had pulled me away 00:03:36.530 --> 00:03:39.650 from her over the years and I was so sure of 00:03:39.650 --> 00:03:42.750 myself I wasn't looking for anything or anyone 00:03:42.750 --> 00:03:48.810 else. I was free. Approaching 40 and it was the 00:03:48.810 --> 00:03:50.849 first time that I felt that my life belonged 00:03:50.849 --> 00:03:54.349 to me and me only. That my life was in my hands. 00:03:54.430 --> 00:04:00.219 No. Closer. Closer than my neck veins, my life 00:04:00.219 --> 00:04:06.900 was within me. I was in love with myself, with 00:04:06.900 --> 00:04:12.319 all that I had become. I'm grateful to have been 00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:15.520 exposed to things I don't want, that I felt a 00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:18.720 strong push toward everything that I want, Paris. 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:23.980 That journey showed a further path that was still 00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:28.139 in the dark before. A broader landscape that 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:32.899 I couldn't see this clearly before. A new vantage 00:04:32.899 --> 00:04:39.120 point. That journey is done. And what a beautiful 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:47.519 one it was. Merci! Today, I feel free. I have 00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:50.079 changed the logo for Imagined Paris and Imagined 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:53.959 Paris Podcast using an image of me in Paris from 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:57.370 October last year. with a cigarette in hand for 00:04:57.370 --> 00:05:00.870 a cinematic effect, taken by an Indonesian friend 00:05:00.870 --> 00:05:03.290 with my daughter's vintage digital camera for 00:05:03.290 --> 00:05:08.449 an untouched effect. And this is me, succeeding 00:05:08.449 --> 00:05:13.889 in making this, instead of a bi-weekly, a weekly 00:05:13.889 --> 00:05:23.009 podcast. I am in love. And this time, it is unconditionally. 00:05:25.149 --> 00:05:29.050 Let's try again, shall we? Qu'est-ce que ca veut dire? 00:05:30.389 --> 00:05:35.910 C 'est une reprise. Je suis toujours là. Le 14 00:05:35.910 --> 00:05:39.850 décembre 2025. Je t 'embrasse.