WEBVTT 00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:07.160 Chez moi. Coucou Paris. I'm at home. My baby 00:00:07.160 --> 00:00:10.080 girl is sleeping next to me under the Parisian 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:14.220 eaves. The ceiling windows are open. And I'm 00:00:14.220 --> 00:00:16.079 waiting for my Jonny to bring up tradition, 00:00:16.339 --> 00:00:19.859 croissants et pains au chocolat. Because he doesn't 00:00:19.859 --> 00:00:24.010 just give me "Paroles" --get it? The morning breeze 00:00:24.010 --> 00:00:27.030 is seeping in and the uncomfortable butterfly 00:00:27.030 --> 00:00:30.789 I had had in my belly for weeks had been magically 00:00:30.789 --> 00:00:33.630 subdued five minutes after my arrival back in 00:00:33.630 --> 00:00:38.609 the city. Bizarre. Because all the troubles I 00:00:38.609 --> 00:00:42.030 associate the butterfly to are still very much 00:00:42.030 --> 00:00:48.689 there and I'm by no means avoiding them. Eleven 00:00:48.689 --> 00:00:52.189 days ago, one day after my boyfriend left London, 00:00:53.070 --> 00:00:57.090 I lay down in my bed on my own and I felt extreme 00:00:57.090 --> 00:01:00.969 discomfort, like my body was screaming from the 00:01:00.969 --> 00:01:06.090 inside. I tried to surrender my mind and stared 00:01:06.090 --> 00:01:10.269 at my open wardrobe facing the bed. My clear 00:01:10.269 --> 00:01:13.909 vinyl Hermes Kelly, surrounded by quilted Chanel 00:01:13.909 --> 00:01:19.030 bags, stared back at me. And I thought: Hey, 00:01:19.290 --> 00:01:24.040 I could live without all that. Guess what I couldn't 00:01:24.040 --> 00:01:28.939 live without anymore? Myself. The true self I've 00:01:28.939 --> 00:01:31.540 been trying to deny for so long in the name of 00:01:31.540 --> 00:01:36.400 reasons and responsibilities. So I texted my 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:41.280 son at his last student house in Bristol: "I'm 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:44.540 contemplating moving to Paris. I don't know what 00:01:44.540 --> 00:01:47.019 I'm going to do yet, but I don't feel like I'm 00:01:47.019 --> 00:01:50.140 doing anything meaningful in London", to which 00:01:50.140 --> 00:01:53.400 he replied, "That sounds pretty cool, doesn't 00:01:53.400 --> 00:01:55.879 bother me at all, might move to Europe in a few 00:01:55.879 --> 00:02:00.640 years". I was impressed, but not shocked, and 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:03.799 proceeded to call my daughter who said, "On one 00:02:03.799 --> 00:02:08.780 condition, Jojo needs to fix the internet". That 00:02:08.780 --> 00:02:11.360 Jojo boy called me the same evening for me to 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:16.039 reveal my grand plan. He, of all people, knows 00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:18.979 how hard our London -Paris separation could be 00:02:18.979 --> 00:02:22.599 for me, yet he was the first to understand that 00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.099 I wasn't doing this solely for the relationship. 00:02:25.860 --> 00:02:28.979 He knew I was doing this for me. And all that 00:02:28.979 --> 00:02:32.060 I heard from him was words of support and a couple 00:02:32.060 --> 00:02:37.000 of funny jokes. A couple. Since then, I've been 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:40.319 brainstorming with, actually more like I've been 00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:44.259 announcing to, important people in my life. My 00:02:44.259 --> 00:02:46.939 saddened yet incredibly understanding housemate. 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:50.139 My ex-husband who didn't even blink and immediately 00:02:50.139 --> 00:02:52.479 said he thought I should definitely do it as 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.039 if he had been practicing the response for months. 00:02:55.879 --> 00:02:59.180 My beloved girlfriends and network of support 00:02:59.180 --> 00:03:02.379 over the years who all thought I'd do great. 00:03:02.800 --> 00:03:06.479 And my cherished Parisian friends who already 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:09.840 welcomed me back home as if the visa (and the 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.759 domain name for my new venture idea) would just 00:03:12.759 --> 00:03:17.409 fall from the sky. And they will. I need a wee. 00:03:17.710 --> 00:03:25.189 This is all too exciting. I'm back. Yes, let's 00:03:25.189 --> 00:03:28.449 call it exciting. For the not so very first time, 00:03:28.569 --> 00:03:32.090 this Libra is going to decide and take actions 00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:34.569 before thinking instead of weighing all options 00:03:34.569 --> 00:03:37.909 for eternity minus a day. I'm done thinking. 00:03:38.509 --> 00:03:41.349 I'm done being on the fence and I'm done being 00:03:41.349 --> 00:03:44.729 slapped by the universe for resisting what resonates 00:03:44.729 --> 00:03:49.289 with my heart in the name of anything. Time to 00:03:49.289 --> 00:03:52.930 come home to myself, in the place where I feel 00:03:52.930 --> 00:03:57.889 most belong. And it's certainly time to send 00:03:57.889 --> 00:04:00.990 a raven to get breakfast delivered. Get ready 00:04:00.990 --> 00:04:04.229 slowly to chill by and maybe take a dip in the 00:04:04.229 --> 00:04:08.139 Seine with my kitty and my babies. But before 00:04:08.139 --> 00:04:12.360 I wake everybody up, let me share a quote (by 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.300 the French dramatist Sacha Guitry) I saw at 00:04:15.300 --> 00:04:17.779 a random car park the day I arrived in Paris 00:04:17.779 --> 00:04:19.980 to live here for the first time nearly a decade 00:04:19.980 --> 00:04:23.860 ago: 'Being a Parisian is not about being born 00:04:23.860 --> 00:04:29.399 in Paris. It's about being reborn there". I am 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:36.399 Parisian. Et je suis chez moi. Paris. Les 17 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:39.639 huttes. 2025, je t 'embrasse.