WEBVTT 00:00:00.639 --> 00:00:03.359 Welcome to Leveling Up with Lindsay, the podcast 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:05.500 where we dive into leadership, small business, 00:00:05.700 --> 00:00:08.160 and everything in between. I'm Lindsay, your 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:10.439 host and the proud owner of White Beauty Boutique, 00:00:10.859 --> 00:00:13.599 a space created to empower women, build confidence, 00:00:13.820 --> 00:00:16.300 and foster meaningful connections. Whether you're 00:00:16.300 --> 00:00:19.039 an entrepreneur, a mom, a friend, or someone 00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:21.829 just looking for a little inspiration, This is 00:00:21.829 --> 00:00:24.929 your space to feel seen, supported, and inspired. 00:00:25.190 --> 00:00:28.109 Join me as we share stories, strategies, and 00:00:28.109 --> 00:00:30.469 a little bit of life's chaos while navigating 00:00:30.469 --> 00:00:33.049 what it truly means to level up in starting a 00:00:33.049 --> 00:00:35.530 business, relationship, and personal growth. 00:00:35.850 --> 00:00:38.850 So grab a cup of coffee, get comfy, and let's 00:00:38.850 --> 00:00:43.060 level up together. Today's guest is not only 00:00:43.060 --> 00:00:45.520 one of my closest friends, she is one of the 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.020 most inspiring individuals I've ever had the 00:00:48.020 --> 00:00:50.740 privilege of walking alongside. Mandy Moon is 00:00:50.740 --> 00:00:53.520 a powerhouse, a brand consultant, a speaker, 00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:56.600 and now a published author, among many other 00:00:56.600 --> 00:00:59.619 titles. She's a connector of people, a creator 00:00:59.619 --> 00:01:02.020 of meaningful strategies, and a leader with a 00:01:02.020 --> 00:01:04.900 heart that runs deep. But what makes her extraordinary 00:01:04.900 --> 00:01:07.379 isn't just the titles or the talent, it's the 00:01:07.379 --> 00:01:09.299 soul behind it all. She's the kind of person 00:01:09.299 --> 00:01:11.859 who walks in a room and instantly makes others 00:01:11.859 --> 00:01:15.159 feel seen. She leads with empathy, sharp insight 00:01:15.159 --> 00:01:18.219 and grounded strength that challenges you in 00:01:18.219 --> 00:01:20.959 the best way to rise higher. I've witnessed her 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:23.359 build her career with intention pour into her 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:27.000 blended family with grace and bring people together 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:30.120 through her authenticity, clarity and purpose. 00:01:30.379 --> 00:01:32.540 And today she's bringing all of that and more 00:01:32.540 --> 00:01:34.719 to this conversation. We're diving into what 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:37.939 she calls the good girl detox, a raw and deeply 00:01:37.939 --> 00:01:40.969 honest look at how we especially those who strive 00:01:40.969 --> 00:01:44.290 and lead often confuse fear for ambition and 00:01:44.290 --> 00:01:47.209 how to begin untangling our worth from our output. 00:01:47.450 --> 00:01:49.450 I truly believe there will be many of you who 00:01:49.450 --> 00:01:52.329 see your own story reflected in this one. Mandy 00:01:52.329 --> 00:01:55.370 Moon and my friend, welcome to leveling up with 00:01:55.370 --> 00:01:57.890 Lindsay. Wow, Lindsay, thank you for having me. 00:01:57.890 --> 00:02:00.390 It was so kind. So before we dive in today's 00:02:00.390 --> 00:02:02.390 topic, which I know is going to speak to so many, 00:02:02.489 --> 00:02:04.549 I'd love for listeners to hear a little bit more 00:02:04.549 --> 00:02:07.109 about who Mandy Moon is and your background. 00:02:07.510 --> 00:02:10.389 Yeah, I guess it's just best to start from the 00:02:10.389 --> 00:02:12.830 beginning, so the short and the long of it. Maybe 00:02:12.830 --> 00:02:15.449 I'll say. So I think just like Lindsay, I think 00:02:15.449 --> 00:02:17.830 you and I connected because from a really young 00:02:17.830 --> 00:02:20.930 age, we were like little hustlers. Yeah, like 00:02:20.930 --> 00:02:23.449 little, little hustlers as like little girls 00:02:23.449 --> 00:02:26.289 selling things or doing things. And I think for 00:02:26.289 --> 00:02:28.930 me, that was always a part of my identity is 00:02:28.930 --> 00:02:31.490 kind of being a go -getter, being the smart one. 00:02:31.490 --> 00:02:33.689 And that's just something that I've kept throughout 00:02:33.689 --> 00:02:37.050 my childhood, my teenage years. I mean, again, 00:02:37.110 --> 00:02:39.430 Lindsay is like one of my best friends. And in 00:02:39.430 --> 00:02:41.409 our little friend group, we kind of always tease. 00:02:41.740 --> 00:02:44.979 I was like the captain of my mock trial team 00:02:44.979 --> 00:02:47.500 in high school. I was on this speech team, you 00:02:47.500 --> 00:02:50.400 know, all of the little nerdy things. But for 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.400 me, it was always like, I need to do more, be 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:56.199 more, strive more, like just that kind of drive 00:02:56.199 --> 00:02:58.439 to be the best that I could be, right? And I 00:02:58.439 --> 00:03:00.060 carried that on through my teenage years and 00:03:00.060 --> 00:03:03.240 my 20s until I had this kind of like burnout 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:06.960 moment. I'd say I was 25. Until then, I had kind 00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:09.379 of climbed the ladder and checked off all these 00:03:09.379 --> 00:03:12.000 boxes, all these things I wanted. to do. I wanted 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:14.479 to buy a house. I wanted to have a nice car and 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:16.699 have like the boy and the girl and the kids and 00:03:16.699 --> 00:03:19.060 all of these things. And you know, I just remember 00:03:19.060 --> 00:03:21.439 one day looking around and being like, I have 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:24.539 everything I ever wanted. Why the hell am I so 00:03:25.259 --> 00:03:28.159 like, why am I so miserable? What's happening 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:30.599 here? And then it's just this cycle of, like, 00:03:30.699 --> 00:03:33.219 fear, guilt, and shame. Like, I've sacrificed 00:03:33.219 --> 00:03:36.819 so much to be here, and I should be grateful. 00:03:37.060 --> 00:03:39.400 You know, all of this stuff literally just had 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.379 a mental breakdown and had to go through what 00:03:41.379 --> 00:03:43.900 I now call the good girl detox, which we can 00:03:43.900 --> 00:03:45.699 talk about in a bit, like, what that process 00:03:45.699 --> 00:03:48.620 looks like. What I can say is when we met the 00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:51.419 hustlers, the like born achievers that we're 00:03:51.419 --> 00:03:53.419 going to be the best at everything we do, we're 00:03:53.419 --> 00:03:56.280 going to just keep adding to our plate. For you 00:03:56.280 --> 00:03:58.560 going through this journey, I can tell from even 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:01.300 our little best friend group absolutely inspired 00:04:01.300 --> 00:04:03.280 each and every one of us to be more mindful. 00:04:03.300 --> 00:04:05.780 And it's kind of taught us a little bit of self 00:04:05.780 --> 00:04:07.740 -worth in that. Like you've definitely brought 00:04:07.740 --> 00:04:10.240 it to light and there is nothing more inspiring 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:13.039 I think than this story because I think so many 00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:16.079 of us get caught up in, you know, achievement 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:19.100 and taking things on. So that is good girl detox. 00:04:19.420 --> 00:04:21.319 Your journey, that's what inspired this phrase. 00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:24.060 Yes. Tell me more like getting out of that. Like 00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:25.639 what stopped you down in your tracks to make 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:28.100 you mindful? Like I'm going to change this. Yeah. 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:30.459 Well, the good girl concept I think is something 00:04:30.459 --> 00:04:33.600 that we as natural achievers have been conditioned 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:36.660 to be, right? For example, you know, growing 00:04:36.660 --> 00:04:38.759 up, When you're a little girl, we're taught to 00:04:38.759 --> 00:04:41.300 sit still, we're taught to be quiet, we're taught 00:04:41.300 --> 00:04:44.600 to be nice, you know? And those are all labels 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:47.120 that we've kind of attached ourselves to. It's 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:49.459 like, okay, if I listen, then I'm a good girl 00:04:49.459 --> 00:04:52.160 and then I get praise and I get, you know, my 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:54.040 worth from there. You know, if I sit still like 00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.180 mom told me to do or like dad told me to do, 00:04:56.319 --> 00:04:59.290 I will be a good girl, you know? I think that 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:01.329 that gets carried out throughout our lifetime. 00:05:01.610 --> 00:05:03.310 You know, you start out that way as a little 00:05:03.310 --> 00:05:06.389 child. And then all of a sudden it's like, okay, 00:05:06.810 --> 00:05:09.050 whatever labels we attach ourselves to, I'm going 00:05:09.050 --> 00:05:11.430 to give you just a real life example. I'm dealing 00:05:11.430 --> 00:05:13.850 with right now, I have middle schoolers at home 00:05:13.850 --> 00:05:16.910 and it's so crazy watching them try to find their 00:05:16.910 --> 00:05:20.449 place at the lunch table. And even though as 00:05:20.449 --> 00:05:22.290 a society or as a culture, I think we're trying 00:05:22.290 --> 00:05:25.089 to move away from labels and more acceptance. 00:05:25.370 --> 00:05:27.649 It's still in their middle school minds. Yeah. 00:05:27.949 --> 00:05:30.449 they kind of process information they have to 00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:33.009 boil it down and simplify so they see the table 00:05:33.009 --> 00:05:35.069 with the nerds and the table with the jocks and 00:05:35.069 --> 00:05:37.250 the table with the drama kids or whatever and 00:05:37.250 --> 00:05:39.490 they're trying to find where they fit in in all 00:05:39.490 --> 00:05:42.149 of that and for them they figure out okay well 00:05:42.149 --> 00:05:44.110 this is where I think I want to be and it's a 00:05:44.110 --> 00:05:46.269 little bit of trial and error but then it's like 00:05:46.269 --> 00:05:48.230 where do they get that affirmation where are 00:05:48.230 --> 00:05:50.990 they getting their good girl or good boy affirmation 00:05:50.990 --> 00:05:53.769 you know from their actions and so for me for 00:05:53.769 --> 00:05:57.069 example I was the smart one so I was always driven 00:05:57.069 --> 00:06:00.300 to do things that the smart one would do because 00:06:00.300 --> 00:06:02.660 I didn't know how else to behave. You know, I 00:06:02.660 --> 00:06:05.000 didn't know when you're given a label, it's so 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:07.100 easy, right? To be like, okay, yes, this is what 00:06:07.100 --> 00:06:09.899 I'm supposed to be doing. And again, for example, 00:06:09.939 --> 00:06:12.100 my sister and I are very different growing up. 00:06:12.100 --> 00:06:14.480 She was always like the pretty one or the one 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:16.379 with the attitude. And it sounds so bad saying 00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:19.259 that now, but those are the labels. I think like 00:06:19.259 --> 00:06:21.759 siblings just give themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Like 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:23.620 whatever, whatever feels right in the moment, 00:06:23.660 --> 00:06:25.480 wherever you're getting that affirmation. And 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:28.060 so because Because we attached ourselves to those 00:06:28.060 --> 00:06:30.300 labels, we behaved accordingly and we were getting 00:06:30.300 --> 00:06:32.980 affirmation accordingly. And that sticks with 00:06:32.980 --> 00:06:35.959 you into your adulthood. And if you're not aware 00:06:35.959 --> 00:06:38.779 of where those driving forces come from, your 00:06:38.779 --> 00:06:41.620 decision -making into adulthood is determined 00:06:41.620 --> 00:06:45.459 by that without you being aware. So that's where 00:06:45.459 --> 00:06:48.779 the good girl concept came to be. And the detox 00:06:48.779 --> 00:06:52.300 of that is really just untangling and figuring 00:06:52.300 --> 00:06:54.519 out where those labels came from, where those 00:06:54.519 --> 00:06:56.339 driving forces are coming from. from where that 00:06:56.339 --> 00:06:58.740 affirmation is coming from and rerouting that 00:06:58.740 --> 00:07:01.399 to come from a more authentic and real place 00:07:01.399 --> 00:07:04.879 instead of constantly trying to achieve that 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:08.060 good girl label, which again is not even for 00:07:08.060 --> 00:07:10.779 most of us something we do while we're aware. 00:07:10.980 --> 00:07:12.920 It just happens in the background. I've definitely 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:15.339 had my own come to Jesus, you know, listening 00:07:15.339 --> 00:07:18.339 like just with our conversations and your journey. 00:07:18.500 --> 00:07:22.339 It's crazy actually when you take it back. So 00:07:22.339 --> 00:07:25.970 Mandy is also an incredible brand consultant 00:07:25.970 --> 00:07:29.689 and she has asked me some really deep questions 00:07:29.689 --> 00:07:31.769 through everything that I've brought to Weipiony 00:07:31.769 --> 00:07:34.889 and myself as a leader and just like building 00:07:34.889 --> 00:07:37.850 my confidence and strength, let's say. A couple 00:07:37.850 --> 00:07:40.730 of questions you've asked from rooted to when 00:07:40.730 --> 00:07:43.850 I was just a little girl. It makes me think of 00:07:43.850 --> 00:07:47.230 this, you know, like why is achievement such 00:07:47.230 --> 00:07:51.269 a thing for me? Where did this stem from? Why 00:07:51.269 --> 00:07:54.629 am I trying to break out of this shell? And ultimately 00:07:54.629 --> 00:07:58.129 what does success mean to me is a huge constant 00:07:58.129 --> 00:08:00.689 question in my mind. Cause you get wrapped up 00:08:00.689 --> 00:08:02.149 into so many different things, especially with 00:08:02.149 --> 00:08:06.129 a new job, starting a business as a wife, as 00:08:06.129 --> 00:08:08.569 a parent. And you kind of got to ask yourself, 00:08:08.750 --> 00:08:11.189 because you get lost either in the noise or in 00:08:11.189 --> 00:08:13.670 your to -do list, what does success mean to you? 00:08:14.029 --> 00:08:16.089 So for, I don't know, it's just been very inspiring 00:08:16.089 --> 00:08:18.829 this whole, the journey with you. And that last 00:08:18.829 --> 00:08:20.689 part we can cut. I appreciate that, Lindsay. 00:08:21.170 --> 00:08:25.399 That's so sweet. You okay, okay, so for me when 00:08:25.399 --> 00:08:27.439 I had that big mental breakdown I was like something 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:29.519 needed to change like something needed to change 00:08:29.519 --> 00:08:32.179 and for me My habits are always work harder right 00:08:32.179 --> 00:08:33.940 when I'm like, okay, something's not working. 00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:37.080 My natural instinct is to work harder So I read 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:39.379 every single self -help book I could find every 00:08:39.379 --> 00:08:42.179 book on business I tried all kinds of things 00:08:42.179 --> 00:08:45.159 meditating yoga like anything that I could do 00:08:45.159 --> 00:08:48.080 to try to fix the problem But that's actually 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:50.019 the problem. It's like you think that you need 00:08:50.019 --> 00:08:53.289 to do more and I think as a mirror American culture, 00:08:53.490 --> 00:08:55.429 and especially like women in business, we've 00:08:55.429 --> 00:08:58.250 been told that we just need to do more, right? 00:08:58.250 --> 00:09:01.629 We need to do more, be more in order to be successful. 00:09:01.629 --> 00:09:04.169 And I think that that has helped us in a lot 00:09:04.169 --> 00:09:06.289 of ways. We've gotten to a certain point because 00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:09.129 of our work ethic, because of our hustle. But 00:09:09.129 --> 00:09:12.149 that can only take you so far before you burn 00:09:12.149 --> 00:09:14.549 out, before you're like, this is not sustainable. 00:09:14.870 --> 00:09:16.889 So I hit that point. I went through a crazy, 00:09:17.049 --> 00:09:19.309 messy divorce. I quit my job. I tried to start 00:09:19.309 --> 00:09:22.070 a business and I'm like spiraling. running around 00:09:22.070 --> 00:09:24.490 like a crazy person, right? And I had to take 00:09:24.490 --> 00:09:27.309 a step back and be like, okay, what really is, 00:09:27.350 --> 00:09:29.210 just like you said, Lindsay, what is success 00:09:29.210 --> 00:09:31.509 to me? And every self -help book that I ever 00:09:31.509 --> 00:09:33.450 read was like, you need to find a mentor and 00:09:33.450 --> 00:09:36.250 you need to just know yourself, right? Like, 00:09:36.269 --> 00:09:39.610 okay, like how do I know myself? How do I figure 00:09:39.610 --> 00:09:42.190 out what that even means? Where do I even begin? 00:09:42.309 --> 00:09:44.970 I think that I have this image of myself, of 00:09:44.970 --> 00:09:47.649 who I want to be and this image I've created 00:09:47.649 --> 00:09:50.330 of like success, but that's how I got in trouble 00:09:50.330 --> 00:09:52.600 to begin. You know, I'm like, OK, I need to have 00:09:52.600 --> 00:09:55.279 this title. I need to own these things. I need 00:09:55.279 --> 00:09:57.600 to be able to have this much in the bank. All 00:09:57.600 --> 00:10:00.460 of this, to me, was how I previously defined 00:10:00.460 --> 00:10:05.019 success. But if I had those things and my insides 00:10:05.019 --> 00:10:07.700 were all, like, all over the place, clearly, 00:10:08.220 --> 00:10:10.539 clearly, that's not sustainable. And I was like, 00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:13.860 this sucks. This is actually not great. I don't 00:10:13.860 --> 00:10:17.429 want that. So what do I want? And for me, therapy 00:10:17.429 --> 00:10:19.509 was a breakthrough for me, like going to see 00:10:19.509 --> 00:10:21.590 a therapist to talk about kind of the things 00:10:21.590 --> 00:10:23.990 we said, like peeling back those layers and figuring 00:10:23.990 --> 00:10:26.769 out where this all came from. Why do I have this 00:10:26.769 --> 00:10:30.149 constant self -induced anxiety about all of the 00:10:30.149 --> 00:10:32.690 things that I want to do? And for me, the driving 00:10:32.690 --> 00:10:35.370 force was always like wanting to be good, wanting 00:10:35.370 --> 00:10:38.549 to be a good girl, wanting to do what's right, 00:10:38.590 --> 00:10:42.169 wanting to, you know, just be OK. And when I 00:10:42.169 --> 00:10:44.490 said that, I was like, oh, be OK. What does that 00:10:44.490 --> 00:10:47.279 mean for me? What does be okay mean? I think 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:50.919 I grew up in kind of a space of not stability, 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.299 right? There was like all of this up and down 00:10:54.299 --> 00:10:58.440 and kind of unknown. And so being okay to me 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:01.700 looked like having a good job, having all of, 00:11:01.700 --> 00:11:05.440 yeah, having stability. What I thought stability 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:07.600 would look like, but I realized that having those 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:10.120 things doesn't actually mean that you have that 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:12.659 internal piece, that internal stability. So I'm 00:11:12.659 --> 00:11:16.669 like, okay, if I'm chasing piece, what does that 00:11:16.669 --> 00:11:19.350 need to look like? And I think as women, we get 00:11:19.350 --> 00:11:21.450 extreme messaging too. It's like, you need to 00:11:21.450 --> 00:11:23.830 just say no and you need to create boundaries 00:11:23.830 --> 00:11:26.169 and you need to like not do anything and you 00:11:26.169 --> 00:11:27.950 need to make sure you put yourself first, which 00:11:27.950 --> 00:11:30.850 I don't disagree with, but that looks like, I 00:11:30.850 --> 00:11:33.529 love that. I love when you say extreme messages, 00:11:33.750 --> 00:11:36.610 you just like shot me in the heart because they're 00:11:36.610 --> 00:11:38.850 going with this journey of myself, listening, 00:11:39.049 --> 00:11:41.610 talking as friends, giving advice, but receiving 00:11:41.610 --> 00:11:44.799 advice. Sometimes it is really strong. And you're 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:47.360 like, you're right. I am being too much. No, 00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:50.299 I'm not doing this. Okay. I'm supposed to, you 00:11:50.299 --> 00:11:53.039 know, an extreme messaging. That is fantastic. 00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:55.340 It really is. It's kind of taking, you know, 00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:57.179 you take a step back from this high achievement 00:11:57.179 --> 00:12:00.559 overworking. Let's not call it chaos, but then 00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:02.759 I don't know. Some people are like, you know, 00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:05.519 that is right. Like you need to stand up tall. 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:07.740 You need to say no in their face. And you're 00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:10.539 like, but do I, I don't, there's a way to go 00:12:10.539 --> 00:12:13.000 about it. I agree. It's in the extreme messaging 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:15.639 is confused. for us, because we're like, yes. 00:12:15.850 --> 00:12:17.970 you need to be a good leader. You need to, just 00:12:17.970 --> 00:12:19.809 all of the things that you said, you need to 00:12:19.809 --> 00:12:22.230 be loud and proud, but also like, don't be too 00:12:22.230 --> 00:12:25.549 much and don't, you know, all of that big Barbie 00:12:25.549 --> 00:12:27.590 speech from the Barbie movie, I think that that's 00:12:27.590 --> 00:12:30.590 what resonated. It resonated with a lot of women 00:12:30.590 --> 00:12:33.549 because it's all of these messages, all of this 00:12:33.549 --> 00:12:35.429 stuff that they say we're supposed to be, we're 00:12:35.429 --> 00:12:38.269 supposed to do. And we don't really have a process 00:12:38.269 --> 00:12:40.590 of figuring that out for ourselves. There's not 00:12:40.590 --> 00:12:43.570 a consistent process of like, okay, if you follow 00:12:43.570 --> 00:12:46.549 these steps, you're going to find peace, you 00:12:46.549 --> 00:12:48.610 know? But for me, that's what the Good Growth 00:12:48.610 --> 00:12:51.250 Detox is about. And I don't want to say like, 00:12:51.330 --> 00:12:53.549 because you go through this detox, you're going 00:12:53.549 --> 00:12:56.110 to just be immediately at peace and you're going 00:12:56.110 --> 00:12:58.669 to be doing less or doing more. It's more about 00:12:58.669 --> 00:13:01.029 understanding your motivations behind decision 00:13:01.029 --> 00:13:04.549 making. So you can make really good sound, consistent 00:13:04.549 --> 00:13:06.789 decisions for yourself and for the life that 00:13:06.789 --> 00:13:09.090 you're building. I think it's consistent work. 00:13:09.190 --> 00:13:11.970 Yes. It's a work in progress. Absolutely. It's 00:13:11.970 --> 00:13:13.669 a journey. I think we've said that. I've said 00:13:13.669 --> 00:13:16.889 journey in almost every darn episode that I've 00:13:16.889 --> 00:13:20.230 recorded so far. But I love, it almost gave me 00:13:20.230 --> 00:13:22.450 a sense of like relief when you talk about extreme 00:13:22.450 --> 00:13:25.309 messaging because I'm like, okay, I have Lindsay 00:13:25.309 --> 00:13:28.850 that's wired this way. I have Lindsay who is 00:13:28.850 --> 00:13:30.409 like trying to be more open to the universe, 00:13:30.610 --> 00:13:33.789 trying to like figure out my deeper values even 00:13:33.789 --> 00:13:37.029 more, trying to like stand confidently in what 00:13:37.029 --> 00:13:39.419 I bring to the table and who I am. And you have 00:13:39.419 --> 00:13:41.299 people are like, you know, like we said, that 00:13:41.299 --> 00:13:42.860 extreme messaging that kind of plays with their 00:13:42.860 --> 00:13:44.039 head a little bit. You're like, okay, should 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:45.720 I beat this? Should I do this? Should I do this? 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:48.840 Whatever. But like, actually, it depends on, 00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:50.799 I don't know, every phase of your life. Yes. 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:54.899 And it's constant little work. Yes. Consistent 00:13:54.899 --> 00:13:58.980 work. And so the good girl detox for me is just 00:13:58.980 --> 00:14:02.009 a... All it really boils down to is decision 00:14:02.009 --> 00:14:05.009 -making filter. How am I going to make decisions 00:14:05.009 --> 00:14:07.830 from now on? So you really have to, like we've 00:14:07.830 --> 00:14:09.669 talked about, peel back the layers. I had to 00:14:09.669 --> 00:14:11.850 go through a mental breakdown in order to decide 00:14:11.850 --> 00:14:14.649 that it was time. I hope that people listening 00:14:14.649 --> 00:14:16.909 don't have to wait till that point. You can just 00:14:16.909 --> 00:14:19.409 decide. You can just start. It doesn't, again, 00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:21.789 have to be this extreme life change. All it is 00:14:21.789 --> 00:14:24.110 is just self -awareness during little decisions. 00:14:24.370 --> 00:14:26.710 I'll just give an example of at work. You know, 00:14:26.710 --> 00:14:29.269 I was working so hard. I had two kids. I worked 00:14:29.269 --> 00:14:31.769 like crazy when I was back in corporate America, 00:14:31.870 --> 00:14:33.470 which feels like a million years ago. It does. 00:14:33.669 --> 00:14:35.490 It wasn't that long ago. It was. It really wasn't. 00:14:35.509 --> 00:14:37.509 But I mean, I guess in the grand scheme of all 00:14:37.509 --> 00:14:40.509 that has been done and accomplished, just like 00:14:40.509 --> 00:14:42.809 moments, it was a long time ago. It really is. 00:14:42.809 --> 00:14:44.769 It's a little bit of both, right? It's both. 00:14:44.929 --> 00:14:48.009 But I had just had two kids and I had in my mind 00:14:48.009 --> 00:14:51.309 that having kids is not going to affect the kind 00:14:51.309 --> 00:14:54.090 of good worker that I am. I'm going to be a good 00:14:54.090 --> 00:14:55.950 worker, right? And so I was bringing my kids 00:14:55.950 --> 00:14:58.720 to the office. I was staying late. everything 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:02.360 I had to do in order to get this specific promotion 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:04.659 because I had in my mind that A, I deserve the 00:15:04.659 --> 00:15:07.740 promotion, B, like this extra money and this 00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:10.519 is going to help like my kids, you know, I had 00:15:10.519 --> 00:15:14.539 every excuse, every excuse. If I would have... 00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:18.220 step back and taking a look at what the job was 00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:20.360 and what I was doing. If I were to ask myself, 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:23.259 does this job align with my personal values? 00:15:23.460 --> 00:15:26.720 Am I adding value here in a way that makes me 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:29.799 at peace and happy? The answer would be no. It 00:15:29.799 --> 00:15:32.740 was a bad fit, which is why no matter how hard 00:15:32.740 --> 00:15:35.940 I worked, it just wasn't a good fit. It wasn't 00:15:35.940 --> 00:15:39.750 right. It wasn't right. And so I think All I 00:15:39.750 --> 00:15:42.490 really mean when I say the good girl detox is 00:15:42.490 --> 00:15:45.889 when you're working so hard and striving so hard 00:15:45.889 --> 00:15:48.149 for something is to take a step back and say, 00:15:48.470 --> 00:15:51.029 what is really important to me? Is this action 00:15:51.029 --> 00:15:53.909 aligning with that? And if not, how can we pivot 00:15:53.909 --> 00:15:56.350 slightly? And sometimes it's not even a physical 00:15:56.350 --> 00:15:58.350 action. Sometimes it's just your way of thinking. 00:15:58.970 --> 00:16:01.690 For example, the laundry, the laundry. If I were 00:16:01.690 --> 00:16:04.509 to ask myself, do I really want to be doing this? 00:16:04.549 --> 00:16:08.889 The answer is always no. We have five kids. We 00:16:08.889 --> 00:16:11.330 have an insane amount of laundry in our house. 00:16:11.330 --> 00:16:14.230 I get snapchats every once in a while. I just 00:16:14.230 --> 00:16:19.750 love that But so does doing this action align 00:16:19.750 --> 00:16:22.409 with my values I could like make all kinds of 00:16:22.409 --> 00:16:24.610 excuses for myself I could say like Tara was 00:16:24.610 --> 00:16:27.169 saying just like no the kids have to do the laundry 00:16:27.169 --> 00:16:29.429 Themselves or I could spiral and say oh my gosh 00:16:29.429 --> 00:16:31.470 if I make the kids do this then I'm just gonna 00:16:31.470 --> 00:16:34.610 have to All of the anxious worry things, but 00:16:34.610 --> 00:16:37.509 for me I can say like my value is to really take 00:16:37.509 --> 00:16:40.129 care of my kids. It's important for me that my 00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:43.750 kids feel like taken care of. Can I do this action 00:16:43.750 --> 00:16:46.129 without being resentful of it later? Like, can 00:16:46.129 --> 00:16:48.870 I do this action? And what do I need to do in 00:16:48.870 --> 00:16:52.330 order to be at peace with it? So for me, what 00:16:52.330 --> 00:16:54.769 that looks like is every time I have a giant 00:16:54.769 --> 00:16:56.789 ass pile of laundry and I'm like, I don't want 00:16:56.789 --> 00:16:59.409 to do it. I think, all right, I'm going to take 00:16:59.409 --> 00:17:01.429 15 minutes. I'm going to take 20 minutes. And 00:17:01.429 --> 00:17:04.170 this is going to be an exercise of intention 00:17:04.170 --> 00:17:06.109 and gratitude for each of the kids. So I take 00:17:06.109 --> 00:17:07.960 all of their clothes. And I think good thoughts 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:11.460 when I'm folding their clothes. I hope Lainey 00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:13.980 has an exciting day, an exciting week, and a 00:17:13.980 --> 00:17:20.619 fulfilling future. So then I feel at least that, 00:17:20.940 --> 00:17:24.279 what would we call it, Lindsay? That productive 00:17:24.279 --> 00:17:28.299 part of us. We're doing something with intention, 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:31.160 and also things are getting done. I feel good 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:34.140 about it. We are 100 % the same in that regard. 00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:37.279 We have this conversation. we do laundry like 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:39.900 twice a day at our house, but it's one thing 00:17:39.900 --> 00:17:42.079 to have it all clean and whatever. It's another 00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:45.000 thing to like put it back organized in your closet. 00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.279 That to me, I'm like, I have so many clothes, 00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:50.500 obviously owning a boutique, but I'm like, okay, 00:17:50.579 --> 00:17:53.359 Lindsey. you are going to spend time on this. 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:55.279 And when you said, oh, I thought that's a great 00:17:55.279 --> 00:17:58.339 idea. When you said speak like positivity to 00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:00.259 your mind when you're doing this. And it was 00:18:00.259 --> 00:18:02.519 like, actually, you know what I do? I put my 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:04.180 clothes away because I always like color code 00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:06.960 or like I have a color coded, but then I have 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.359 it like blazers in one section. But where I'm 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:11.599 getting with this is I legitimately tell myself, 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:14.980 cause I hate that chore of like we already folded 00:18:14.980 --> 00:18:16.240 it. We already did everything. Now I have to 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.700 organize and put it away. As I say, okay. You're 00:18:19.700 --> 00:18:22.660 going to need a powerhouse outfit this week. 00:18:22.819 --> 00:18:25.559 You're leveling up your leader. You know, like 00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:28.599 I go through all this, like my outfits, I'm speaking 00:18:28.599 --> 00:18:33.019 to them. Yeah, literally. But that's like, I'm 00:18:33.019 --> 00:18:34.660 doing this because I'm going to have a better, 00:18:34.779 --> 00:18:37.160 the best week. I'm going to come prepared. I'm 00:18:37.160 --> 00:18:39.539 going to feel organized. I hate every second 00:18:39.539 --> 00:18:42.119 of that. Oh, I hear you. And that's just, again, 00:18:42.259 --> 00:18:45.759 a way to reset your mindset, a re -shift that 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.900 internal angst, because we very easily could 00:18:47.900 --> 00:18:50.630 be like, I could be doing all this stuff for 00:18:50.630 --> 00:18:52.730 my business right now, but I have to do laundry. 00:18:53.089 --> 00:18:55.170 Like, no, what are your values? What are the 00:18:55.170 --> 00:18:57.329 actions you're taking? How do they align with 00:18:57.329 --> 00:18:59.069 the life you're trying to live? For me, that 00:18:59.069 --> 00:19:02.430 was like a big, a little big one. I think it's 00:19:02.430 --> 00:19:04.289 a little big one because I was going to ask you, 00:19:04.589 --> 00:19:07.190 like, how did this good girl detox, this whole 00:19:07.190 --> 00:19:10.269 theory shift the way you work, you know, impact 00:19:10.269 --> 00:19:12.349 your home and everything. And you just said it 00:19:12.349 --> 00:19:14.569 right there. It is a little thing. It is also 00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:18.059 how you lead. I've noticed conversations in which 00:19:18.059 --> 00:19:20.420 you've had for other business owners and even 00:19:20.420 --> 00:19:22.180 the work that you do. And I've kind of heard 00:19:22.180 --> 00:19:24.220 it there. And I think that's incredible. It's 00:19:24.220 --> 00:19:26.240 very powerful. It's like little things, but it's 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.339 really big things. Oh, I appreciate that, Lindsay. 00:19:28.420 --> 00:19:30.480 I think maybe it might be helpful to hear a little 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:33.099 bit more about the detox process. What does that 00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:35.859 look like? So for me, first is you have to kind 00:19:35.859 --> 00:19:38.079 of understand that you need help, right? Like 00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:40.319 something needs to change and you want to make 00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:42.500 the change. The other thing is that you don't 00:19:42.500 --> 00:19:45.380 have to work yourself up about making this big 00:19:45.380 --> 00:19:48.450 giant change. I think that's a step that makes 00:19:48.450 --> 00:19:51.529 people not want to look at doing anything because 00:19:51.529 --> 00:19:53.170 you're like, oh, it's going to be daunting to 00:19:53.170 --> 00:19:55.650 make a change. Like, no, we just recognize that 00:19:55.650 --> 00:19:57.730 we need to make a little change and it's to happen 00:19:57.730 --> 00:20:00.069 and you want to start. And that's it. It doesn't 00:20:00.069 --> 00:20:02.190 even have to be on a Monday or the first of the 00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:04.349 month or the first of the year. It can start 00:20:04.349 --> 00:20:08.230 on a Tuesday at two o 'clock. Or a Thursday at 00:20:08.230 --> 00:20:11.230 who knows what. Yes, exactly. So there are three 00:20:11.230 --> 00:20:15.609 steps, three easy steps. Okay, well maybe we're 00:20:15.609 --> 00:20:18.390 gonna make a commercial after this. Alright, 00:20:18.609 --> 00:20:22.140 so... I will say that they suck if I'm going 00:20:22.140 --> 00:20:24.700 to be honest, if I'm going to be honest. But 00:20:24.700 --> 00:20:27.160 again, you can take this as big or as little 00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:31.180 as you want to, right? So step one is to, the 00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:33.480 way that I like to say it is don't be afraid 00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:37.220 of the dark. I think don't be afraid of your 00:20:37.220 --> 00:20:40.359 darkness. I think as women, we are oftentimes 00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:43.319 told like we need to be bright and sunny and 00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:46.869 think positive. And if we just, think positively 00:20:46.869 --> 00:20:48.769 enough, everything will work out. And not that 00:20:48.769 --> 00:20:51.549 I disagree with that, but it kind of shames us 00:20:51.549 --> 00:20:55.250 into not looking at the hard parts about ourselves. 00:20:55.490 --> 00:20:57.410 And actually, even speaking to men, I was just 00:20:57.410 --> 00:21:00.289 thinking about that for those who just kind of 00:21:00.289 --> 00:21:05.589 put a huge blanket or cover over. their past 00:21:05.589 --> 00:21:09.170 or their deepest things. You put on the strong 00:21:09.170 --> 00:21:12.009 game face of work harder, move forward. Don't 00:21:12.009 --> 00:21:14.769 show your emotions. It's uncovering. And being 00:21:14.769 --> 00:21:17.049 okay with it. It's completely true for both men 00:21:17.049 --> 00:21:20.349 and women. And it does look differently for everybody, 00:21:20.569 --> 00:21:23.910 but... At least for me, I didn't want to admit 00:21:23.910 --> 00:21:27.569 that I had any anything shameful like inside 00:21:27.569 --> 00:21:29.930 of me, you know, especially because my brand 00:21:29.930 --> 00:21:32.170 and my, you know, when people look at me, it's 00:21:32.170 --> 00:21:35.289 like this bubbly energy. I didn't want to admit 00:21:35.289 --> 00:21:38.470 that I have like shame or I am fear driven or 00:21:38.470 --> 00:21:41.569 that some of my like achievements have been driven 00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:44.150 by this fear of like, if I don't get this, then 00:21:44.150 --> 00:21:46.630 I'm irrelevant or I suck or I'm not good enough 00:21:46.630 --> 00:21:48.670 or like, oh, this is embarrassing, whatever. 00:21:49.210 --> 00:21:51.880 So that's step one is don't be afraid of your 00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:55.460 darkness, and really commit to taking a look 00:21:55.460 --> 00:21:58.440 at your driving forces when you're going to make 00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:01.619 a decision. And again, that can be as big or 00:22:01.619 --> 00:22:03.880 as little as you want, like the laundry, right? 00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:06.680 When we have icky feelings about the laundry, 00:22:06.779 --> 00:22:10.660 can we take a step and be like, why am I feeling 00:22:10.660 --> 00:22:13.059 this way about it? Take it, again, a step deeper 00:22:13.059 --> 00:22:14.839 than, oh, it sucks. Laundry sucks. Where does 00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:16.380 this stem from? Yeah, where is this stemming 00:22:16.380 --> 00:22:18.680 from? Does this suck because I think that I could 00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:20.980 be doing something else? that is more productive. 00:22:21.079 --> 00:22:23.039 I think that was an issue for me. I have to be 00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:24.920 doing all this housework and I could be being 00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:27.960 a big business girl. That was the shameful part 00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:30.299 in my head. I could be doing something that proves 00:22:30.299 --> 00:22:33.220 to other people on the outside that I'm a hustler 00:22:33.220 --> 00:22:36.180 and an achiever, but now I'm stuck doing little 00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:38.900 kid laundry and that's horrible. Ew, shameful, 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:42.140 gross. That was like darkness inside of me that 00:22:42.140 --> 00:22:45.220 I had to confront over something so small. Now, 00:22:45.220 --> 00:22:47.460 when you take a look at a bigger picture when 00:22:47.460 --> 00:22:49.299 you're thinking about making a business decision, 00:22:49.130 --> 00:22:51.150 when you're thinking about how you're moving 00:22:51.150 --> 00:22:54.390 in, in your business or in the world, like those 00:22:54.390 --> 00:22:58.329 things come out and those consistent dark patterns, 00:22:58.450 --> 00:23:00.509 you'll be able to recognize them now. Very true. 00:23:01.369 --> 00:23:05.630 So that's step one. Two. Two. This is the worst 00:23:05.630 --> 00:23:07.609 part. I'm gonna say. I'm like actually nervous 00:23:07.609 --> 00:23:09.509 because I haven't heard like the step steps. 00:23:09.630 --> 00:23:11.190 Like I've heard you talk about it, but I just 00:23:11.190 --> 00:23:13.750 got like. Step two is you have to sit in it. 00:23:13.910 --> 00:23:16.390 You have to sit in the icky. And you know what, 00:23:16.569 --> 00:23:18.619 like. For people like me and Lindsey who are 00:23:18.619 --> 00:23:20.640 just hustlers, we're like, okay, we are committing 00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.680 to do this process. We want to grow. We want 00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:24.960 to change. What it means then is you just get 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:27.819 in, get out, and change. It's just easy. You 00:23:27.819 --> 00:23:30.380 recognize it, you do something, you take some 00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:33.079 sort of action, and then you get better. That's 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.359 how we like to operate in the world, but if you 00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:39.559 don't... Sit in it if you're not like sitting 00:23:39.559 --> 00:23:42.720 and like feeling your feelings instead of just 00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.559 doing and moving on You're not going to change 00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:48.160 in the long run You might make some short -term 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:51.460 decision changes But your mindset and your driving 00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:53.619 forces are not going to change unless you really 00:23:53.619 --> 00:23:55.740 sit and understand yourself That makes a lot 00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:58.579 of sense. It really does. This is a very bad 00:23:58.579 --> 00:24:00.660 analogy, but even you know with like wellness 00:24:00.660 --> 00:24:02.940 journeys Yes in general. Mm -hmm. You do have 00:24:02.940 --> 00:24:05.819 to sit into why you're making decisions like 00:24:05.819 --> 00:24:07.500 exercise decisions, eating decisions, whatever 00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:10.059 that is, you're making decisions about like why, 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:12.940 good or bad. And then you really have to even 00:24:12.940 --> 00:24:15.039 dig deep in your wellness journey. It kind of 00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:17.680 goes along with everything because if you don't, 00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:20.000 nothing is going to change and you're going to 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:22.940 say, I'll start on Monday or whatever that is. 00:24:25.569 --> 00:24:27.829 the overall change that could occur, is it going 00:24:27.829 --> 00:24:30.829 to happen? I agree. And I'm going to give you 00:24:30.829 --> 00:24:33.589 an example of how I experienced this in real 00:24:33.589 --> 00:24:36.109 time. When I was going through my messy divorce, 00:24:36.250 --> 00:24:38.950 I had Lindsay, and I had you, and I had our friend 00:24:38.950 --> 00:24:43.250 group. And my natural reaction is to, when things 00:24:43.250 --> 00:24:45.789 get hard, is to find community, and to find support, 00:24:46.029 --> 00:24:48.670 and to run, and to you guys to get through, which 00:24:48.670 --> 00:24:51.809 I don't think is a bad thing. But when I'm talking 00:24:51.809 --> 00:24:55.009 about sitting in it, I was deflecting. was going 00:24:55.009 --> 00:24:57.309 to you guys and saying, this is what happened, 00:24:57.430 --> 00:24:59.250 da, da, da. And you guys were being great friends 00:24:59.250 --> 00:25:01.950 and being like, you don't deserve that. And then 00:25:01.950 --> 00:25:03.990 that can't have that stuff on the podcast because 00:25:03.990 --> 00:25:06.630 we're there for our girls. Yeah. And that's the 00:25:06.630 --> 00:25:08.950 kind of like affirmation I was looking for. But 00:25:08.950 --> 00:25:11.609 that's like pulling me out. That's like a quick 00:25:11.609 --> 00:25:14.309 save. That's pulling me out of my darkness, which 00:25:14.309 --> 00:25:16.710 is what friends are supposed to do. Right. That's 00:25:16.710 --> 00:25:19.190 what friends do. But for me, I had to really 00:25:19.190 --> 00:25:22.109 sit in it and understand for myself without that 00:25:22.109 --> 00:25:24.759 outside distraction of really good friends. Honestly, 00:25:24.940 --> 00:25:26.579 you know, really good friends being supportive, 00:25:26.619 --> 00:25:28.980 but I had to understand myself, right? So for 00:25:28.980 --> 00:25:31.359 me, that was therapy that was really like digging 00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:34.460 deep into understanding my own decision making. 00:25:34.460 --> 00:25:37.119 And I still go to my girls for hype and for encouragement 00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:40.180 when I need to. And we go to you. Yeah. But I 00:25:40.180 --> 00:25:43.400 at least understand where that mindset is coming 00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:46.099 from without external like quick fixes. I agree 00:25:46.099 --> 00:25:48.359 with that. It's kind of like, here's another 00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:50.420 analogy. I go to my mom for everything. My mom 00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:53.059 is, I'm like, I giggle and you guys have heard. 00:25:52.940 --> 00:25:54.839 heard the conversation with my mom, but I would 00:25:54.839 --> 00:25:56.700 say, well, that was the most mom response because 00:25:56.700 --> 00:26:00.720 she is so... on board, like my daughter, she's, 00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:02.400 you know, awesome and amazing. And I'm like, 00:26:02.420 --> 00:26:04.640 no, I want the truth. I want the truth. I need 00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:07.720 the truth. And I need straightforward. Actually, 00:26:07.740 --> 00:26:10.240 even with this podcast, I have a business consultant 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:13.059 and Mandy knows it's our business dad. Shout 00:26:13.059 --> 00:26:14.660 out to business dad. Shout out to business dad. 00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:17.019 He's going to listen to this. And he said, I'm 00:26:17.019 --> 00:26:18.940 going to listen to this on a weekly basis and 00:26:18.940 --> 00:26:20.339 I'm going to give you honest feedback. And I'm 00:26:20.339 --> 00:26:23.460 like, yes, that is what I need. So I love good 00:26:23.460 --> 00:26:26.039 friends. You have to sit in it. But like that 00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:28.289 sometimes you have to separate yourself. because 00:26:28.289 --> 00:26:31.890 you do need to like the reality of maybe something 00:26:31.890 --> 00:26:34.410 that does need to change within you. Completely 00:26:34.410 --> 00:26:37.190 love that. Yeah. I'm gonna give one more example 00:26:37.190 --> 00:26:39.849 just in case because I really want this to land 00:26:39.849 --> 00:26:43.269 with people. So while I was in process of getting 00:26:43.269 --> 00:26:45.990 divorced, I moved me and my kids, we moved into 00:26:45.990 --> 00:26:48.849 my parents' house, and my parents, like my dad 00:26:48.849 --> 00:26:52.410 specifically, hated seeing us or me in pain. 00:26:52.670 --> 00:26:56.289 He just hated it. And so his reaction was not 00:26:56.289 --> 00:26:58.269 the same. my friend's reaction it was more like 00:26:58.269 --> 00:27:00.349 anger it's like well you need to make sure you're 00:27:00.349 --> 00:27:02.509 not doing this and did it and like you need to 00:27:02.509 --> 00:27:04.029 make sure you're sticking up for yourself you 00:27:04.029 --> 00:27:07.180 know so it came at me, like, I need to be doing 00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.920 all of these things instead of I need to be really 00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:13.259 processing or healing, you know? And so, again, 00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:16.599 all of these well -intentioned people, they care 00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:18.599 about you. They don't want you to sit in the 00:27:18.599 --> 00:27:20.539 darkness, right? They don't want you to be hurting, 00:27:20.779 --> 00:27:23.660 but sometimes you have to process that for a 00:27:23.660 --> 00:27:26.519 long -term growth, long -term change. So that's 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:29.400 just another example. I try really hard not to 00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:31.579 do that to my own kids, you know, because I hate 00:27:31.579 --> 00:27:33.839 seeing them in pain or like, so instead of saying, 00:27:34.059 --> 00:27:36.339 well, suck it up, you know, or whatever. It's 00:27:36.339 --> 00:27:38.779 like, oh, yeah, that's really hard. You know, 00:27:39.299 --> 00:27:41.039 when someone's going through something like that, 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:42.880 that like you're going through this, you talk 00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:45.940 to if this resonates with you, how do you separate 00:27:45.940 --> 00:27:48.799 yourself? Like when you say sit in it, like what 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.039 would you recommend? Like in my mind, it's a 00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:53.859 process. It takes a little bit of time. and sometimes 00:27:53.859 --> 00:27:56.779 a long, long time. For me, I'm like driving, 00:27:57.180 --> 00:27:59.180 taking a long drive wherever that may be with 00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.559 the music off, everything just really thinking 00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:04.119 deep, I guess, do you think? Or what would you 00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:07.099 say? I think that it really is specific to the 00:28:07.099 --> 00:28:09.480 type of person that you are. If you're naturally 00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:11.839 a gatherer, right? Like we are, we're naturally 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:14.299 going to our girls. It might be a good time to 00:28:14.299 --> 00:28:16.579 physically separate yourself in your mind. If 00:28:16.579 --> 00:28:18.980 you're more isolated normally, like you normally 00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:20.960 process by yourself, maybe it's time to reach 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:23.460 out to somebody. incredible advice. You know, 00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.660 you have to really think about what type of support 00:28:26.660 --> 00:28:30.519 is best for you. And again, like, to me, my hype 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:32.779 team was the best, but it wasn't what I needed 00:28:32.779 --> 00:28:35.519 to process and to heal. And I'm so grateful that 00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:37.960 I have because many people don't. But it makes 00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:41.140 sense. And it's a straightforward, honest journey 00:28:41.140 --> 00:28:43.920 that you're speaking of. And I love that. I don't 00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:46.680 have a set time. where I've like done my good 00:28:46.680 --> 00:28:49.240 girl detox, I think it's been over a period of 00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:51.480 time for sure. But one of the pivotal moments 00:28:51.480 --> 00:28:54.180 when you talk about this is when I went to LA 00:28:54.180 --> 00:28:57.599 by myself, big city, I'm a Minnesota small town 00:28:57.599 --> 00:28:59.519 girl. I thought I was a city girl, by the way, 00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.180 when I when I left high school. I'm out of here. 00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:04.740 No, I love small town. I love small community. 00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:07.920 Anyways, went to LA, you know, a little bit nervous. 00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:10.940 a lot a bit nervous. I was in my hotel and I'd 00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:12.700 go there for a longer period of time just because 00:29:12.700 --> 00:29:15.059 of what needs to get done. I was there for four 00:29:15.059 --> 00:29:18.759 to five days and Tara, one of our very best friends, 00:29:19.019 --> 00:29:23.079 literally said, you probably need this you probably 00:29:23.079 --> 00:29:25.680 and it was for other reasons but she's like you 00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:28.559 probably need to be in the hotel by herself and 00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:31.000 so funny she just went through her own her own 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:34.079 journey but literally i stopped dead in my tracks 00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:38.519 and i was like she is 1000 % right yeah i'm surrounded 00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:40.980 by people i love surrounding myself with people 00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:44.019 every day i love people i love connection and 00:29:44.019 --> 00:29:48.460 i know you do as well but in itself with what 00:29:48.460 --> 00:29:51.140 I was kind of going through at the time was exactly 00:29:51.140 --> 00:29:54.900 what I needed to process all the things that 00:29:54.900 --> 00:29:58.200 were happening internally. It was actually, when 00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:00.279 you talk about this, that was one of my big, 00:30:00.660 --> 00:30:04.079 it wasn't the Solval. And those that week, it 00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:07.099 was not the Solval. But oh my goodness that I 00:30:07.099 --> 00:30:11.660 find out a lot about myself sitting for me in 00:30:11.660 --> 00:30:15.009 a little bit of silence. That's amazing. I actually 00:30:15.009 --> 00:30:17.589 had some tears by myself that like no one knows 00:30:17.589 --> 00:30:21.109 and not a bad way. Not at all. But I also had 00:30:21.109 --> 00:30:23.930 the greatest gratitude I think I've ever had 00:30:23.930 --> 00:30:26.369 too. So yeah, that was pretty pivotal. That's 00:30:26.369 --> 00:30:29.210 amazing. And see, the more you get to know yourself, 00:30:29.349 --> 00:30:31.490 the more you can take those types of actions 00:30:31.490 --> 00:30:33.410 because you know that that's good for you. If 00:30:33.410 --> 00:30:35.049 you just would have never tried that or never 00:30:35.049 --> 00:30:37.609 done it. You would just like sat in other things 00:30:37.609 --> 00:30:39.789 sat in the noise like gone through that market 00:30:39.789 --> 00:30:41.630 trip You know running a thousand miles an hour 00:30:41.630 --> 00:30:44.190 my mind's full of the noise of like work life 00:30:44.190 --> 00:30:46.410 everything blah blah blah blah blah and instead 00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:49.930 I was sitting in a 30 ,000 foot view of my own 00:30:49.930 --> 00:30:53.769 self I randomly was like social media someone's 00:30:53.769 --> 00:30:55.990 got to know how much feelings I'm sitting in 00:30:55.990 --> 00:30:57.930 right now and I never really explained that but 00:30:57.930 --> 00:31:01.309 I took a video and I was like sitting on the 00:31:01.309 --> 00:31:03.670 couch and by the way they upgraded my room at 00:31:03.670 --> 00:31:06.670 the time and it was a huge suite yeah and I was 00:31:06.670 --> 00:31:08.950 like solo and I was like sitting around I'm like 00:31:08.950 --> 00:31:11.170 I feel like I'm not supposed to be here and then 00:31:11.170 --> 00:31:13.190 I was like I feel like I'm supposed to be here 00:31:13.190 --> 00:31:15.309 but I took a video and I literally should write 00:31:15.309 --> 00:31:18.069 something in regards to that because it was it 00:31:18.069 --> 00:31:19.349 literally was one of those moments that I was 00:31:19.349 --> 00:31:21.160 like looking out of the city like I'm like, I 00:31:21.160 --> 00:31:23.440 know I was meant for more. What does that look 00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:25.900 like? What's holding me back? Why am I up against 00:31:25.900 --> 00:31:27.519 myself? What are the things that are making me 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:29.279 feel uncomfortable? What are the things that 00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:32.220 fulfill me? Why am I so full of gratitude? Who's 00:31:32.220 --> 00:31:34.700 who is him? It was so many things. So that was 00:31:34.700 --> 00:31:38.200 really up in my field. I like let it happen. 00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:40.819 Yeah. And that was super important. That's amazing, 00:31:40.940 --> 00:31:44.619 Lindsay. I love that for you. So number one to 00:31:44.619 --> 00:31:47.319 don't be afraid of the dark. Number two, sit 00:31:47.319 --> 00:31:50.000 in it. sit in the dark it's scary and it sucks 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:52.359 and sometimes you have to go it when I say alone 00:31:52.359 --> 00:31:54.819 I also mean maybe with the help of a professional 00:31:54.819 --> 00:31:57.220 like a therapist I agree I think everyone could 00:31:57.220 --> 00:32:00.519 benefit oh I am a huge advocate I agree huge 00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:02.960 huge advocate of therapy it's been I think if 00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:05.640 anything could be the one thing that has helped 00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:08.819 me it's that having somebody on the outside even 00:32:08.819 --> 00:32:12.920 personally professionally for a bajillion different 00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:15.079 reasons. Actually, someone had said to me, Lindsay, 00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:18.539 the biggest CEO is the best business owners, 00:32:18.900 --> 00:32:20.339 because you're trying to prove everything. So 00:32:20.339 --> 00:32:22.680 on a professional level, they're like, stop. 00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:25.880 Just so you know, the very best of the best have 00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:28.200 someone they go talk to. to get you, because 00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:30.099 there's just to process emotions. But anyways. 00:32:30.180 --> 00:32:32.059 I mean, extreme athletes, everybody. Everybody 00:32:32.059 --> 00:32:34.799 needs a coach. Everybody needs a coach. So number 00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:36.599 three is the fun part for you and I, because 00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:39.160 we like to take action. So number three is, I 00:32:39.160 --> 00:32:42.579 say unleash. Now that you have faced your most 00:32:42.579 --> 00:32:45.539 shameful things, you've faced all of that darkness 00:32:45.539 --> 00:32:47.180 inside of you, you sat in it, and you really 00:32:47.180 --> 00:32:49.519 feel it, and you understand it, now you have 00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:51.759 that filter. You have that decision -making filter. 00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:55.759 So when a project comes up and normal you would 00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:57.519 be like, I have to do. this because if I don't 00:32:57.519 --> 00:32:59.079 do this now I'm gonna lose this opportunity. 00:32:59.259 --> 00:33:02.579 All of the anxiety of making the decision you 00:33:02.579 --> 00:33:05.579 can step back and say hey like what is my driving 00:33:05.579 --> 00:33:09.759 force behind wanting to do this? Is this fear? 00:33:09.940 --> 00:33:12.200 Like is this fear? And you can feel it in your 00:33:12.200 --> 00:33:15.339 body. I now only make decisions that I know will 00:33:15.339 --> 00:33:18.160 bring me peace. Peace versus fear. The unleashed 00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:20.259 part is the best because now you've created a 00:33:20.259 --> 00:33:23.000 filter for yourself and you can really make decisions 00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:26.490 moving forward to change your life. so that you 00:33:26.490 --> 00:33:28.769 can live the life that you really actually want 00:33:28.769 --> 00:33:31.190 to be living. And so for me, what that looked 00:33:31.190 --> 00:33:32.930 like before is I was saying yes to everything, 00:33:33.069 --> 00:33:35.710 I was doing everything, doing more. How do you 00:33:35.710 --> 00:33:38.210 say no, this opportunity might not ever happen 00:33:38.210 --> 00:33:40.549 again? But the life I've built for myself now 00:33:40.549 --> 00:33:43.599 is like... does this have to happen right now? 00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:46.339 Does this feel good right now? And a lot of the 00:33:46.339 --> 00:33:49.680 times it's like, no, actually, it can wait. Or 00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:52.240 this is not quite right yet. Not quite right 00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:54.880 yet for one reason or another. And because of 00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:56.619 that filter, I would say the last few years for 00:33:56.619 --> 00:33:59.200 me, all of the right things are finding me. And 00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:02.500 it's shocking. It's shocking. I'm like, oh, look 00:34:02.500 --> 00:34:06.579 at me not having to hustle and like. kill myself 00:34:06.579 --> 00:34:09.340 trying to do all the things and be everything 00:34:09.340 --> 00:34:11.639 to everyone, but still all of the right things 00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:15.239 are finding me. And I am just so excited for 00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:16.980 all of the projects that we have in the works 00:34:16.980 --> 00:34:21.949 and for all the things that are happening. Let's 00:34:21.949 --> 00:34:25.110 say three years ago three years ago simple or 00:34:25.110 --> 00:34:27.969 five. Yeah, what you wish I would think that 00:34:27.969 --> 00:34:30.110 what you define success is a lot different today 00:34:30.110 --> 00:34:32.550 as it was even then What does success mean to 00:34:32.550 --> 00:34:34.150 Mandy now because I'm sure that looked a lot 00:34:34.150 --> 00:34:36.929 different three five years ago Definitely longer 00:34:36.929 --> 00:34:39.670 than that too, but going through this good girl 00:34:39.670 --> 00:34:42.659 detox journey It's got to look a lot different 00:34:42.659 --> 00:34:45.519 now than it did. Oh, yeah. Success for me, like, 00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:48.659 you know, if I think of 15 -year -old Mandy and 00:34:48.659 --> 00:34:51.539 what she would assume that 36 -year -old Mandy 00:34:51.539 --> 00:34:53.559 would be doing, I think she would be shocked 00:34:53.559 --> 00:34:56.639 to see my life. I have five kids. She'd be like, 00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.820 what are you doing, girl? What? What happened? 00:35:00.099 --> 00:35:01.840 You know, what are you doing? Success for me 00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:04.260 was always like the title, the achievement, the 00:35:04.260 --> 00:35:07.260 power, the traveling, almost like the glam of 00:35:07.260 --> 00:35:11.320 being strong, independent woman, you know? That 00:35:11.320 --> 00:35:14.840 was kind of what success was for me. And now 00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:17.079 that I've gone through this detox and I'm asking 00:35:17.079 --> 00:35:19.260 myself, like, what really is important to me? 00:35:19.380 --> 00:35:22.519 What is the life I want to live? What is the 00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:25.099 legacy I want to leave? Like, what is the story 00:35:25.099 --> 00:35:28.440 that I want people to remember about me and my 00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:31.079 influence on them and in their own world? For 00:35:31.079 --> 00:35:35.280 me, it really is this idea of authentic connection, 00:35:35.579 --> 00:35:39.500 I really knew myself. And I took consistent action, 00:35:40.139 --> 00:35:42.780 like predictable action, like Mandy knows exactly 00:35:42.780 --> 00:35:45.099 who she is, and she's going to act accordingly. 00:35:45.539 --> 00:35:48.440 And that can be depended on. You know, that is, 00:35:48.519 --> 00:35:51.059 I think, what success looks like to me is that 00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:54.860 I'm consistently acting in a way that feels peaceful, 00:35:54.980 --> 00:35:58.300 that feels right to me. And I can just be loud 00:35:58.300 --> 00:36:00.960 and proud and transparent about all of those. 00:36:01.509 --> 00:36:04.130 Feelings and actions and that's my day to day 00:36:04.130 --> 00:36:06.369 because that to me feels the most peaceful Whenever 00:36:06.369 --> 00:36:08.590 I'm acting or behaving in a way that I'm like, 00:36:08.590 --> 00:36:11.070 that's not right Like that is when I know that 00:36:11.070 --> 00:36:13.849 I need to take a deeper look. Oh, what's happening? 00:36:13.949 --> 00:36:16.869 Yeah that angst That's another thing is what 00:36:16.869 --> 00:36:20.230 at the height of my like external ladder climbing, 00:36:20.309 --> 00:36:23.630 right? I had all of the check boxes, right? Check 00:36:23.630 --> 00:36:25.690 check check all of this stuff. My inside was 00:36:25.690 --> 00:36:29.380 like You know that feeling that like tense yeah, 00:36:29.380 --> 00:36:32.699 just anxious popping excedrin migraine all the 00:36:32.699 --> 00:36:34.860 time You know just trying to get through but 00:36:34.860 --> 00:36:37.920 today every day. Maybe that's an exaggeration 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:41.500 most days I can end the day feeling peaceful. 00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:46.309 This was a good part of my journey. Like your 00:36:46.309 --> 00:36:48.750 buzzword. This is a good part of my journey. 00:36:48.869 --> 00:36:51.349 I know I've used that a lot today. That piece 00:36:51.349 --> 00:36:55.510 is so healthy. That's the one thing I think everyone's 00:36:55.510 --> 00:36:58.909 had their own journeys and for mine own personal. 00:36:59.409 --> 00:37:02.619 I am not... living in that angst, living in that 00:37:02.619 --> 00:37:05.699 tense, living in that hustle, living in the sleep. 00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:08.159 Like, you know, I remember getting, if I got 00:37:08.159 --> 00:37:10.440 six hours sleep, it was a wind for like a year 00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:13.099 straight there doing boutique and my executive 00:37:13.099 --> 00:37:16.420 career. And it's a really unhealthy. So not only 00:37:16.420 --> 00:37:19.219 is it good for you in general, but like actual 00:37:19.219 --> 00:37:22.199 health, I just think to myself, like there was 00:37:22.199 --> 00:37:25.159 the year of last year, 2024, living in an intense 00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:27.219 state, not knowing what the economy was going 00:37:27.219 --> 00:37:28.699 to do, what the world was going to do, all the 00:37:28.699 --> 00:37:31.079 things. I just thought, Like, you can't live 00:37:31.079 --> 00:37:34.300 like this. It doesn't feel good. It's not great. 00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:37.239 But also, your health is going to plummet tremendously. 00:37:37.539 --> 00:37:39.639 That looks in so many different ways for different 00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:41.900 people. But all I know is I want to get rid of 00:37:41.900 --> 00:37:44.360 these eye bags. So I was like, I need to sleep. 00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:48.320 I want to move forward. So anyways, definitely 00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:51.500 finding peace in your day. It's really important 00:37:51.500 --> 00:37:53.599 for many reasons. I think what's important to 00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:56.179 say is when you, you know, you hustler women 00:37:56.179 --> 00:37:59.539 out there. who can relate to what Lindsay and 00:37:59.539 --> 00:38:02.539 I are saying. I think when ambitious women hear 00:38:02.539 --> 00:38:05.579 the word peace, I think they get scared and they 00:38:05.579 --> 00:38:08.000 think like, you're trying to tell me to slow 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:11.079 down and to not chase my dreams and to not go 00:38:11.079 --> 00:38:13.380 for it and to not do, and that's not what peace 00:38:13.380 --> 00:38:15.320 means at all. Just because you're living in peace 00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.679 doesn't mean you're not like quote unquote hustling, 00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:20.789 right? It's just through a different. filter. 00:38:20.929 --> 00:38:23.269 Now you're, you're understanding why you're taking 00:38:23.269 --> 00:38:24.889 the actions that you're taking. It's fitting 00:38:24.889 --> 00:38:27.510 into a bigger long -term plan. It's not just 00:38:27.510 --> 00:38:29.489 the chaos of like, if I don't do this right now, 00:38:29.530 --> 00:38:31.809 it's never going to happen. Oh my gosh. Bullseye. 00:38:32.050 --> 00:38:34.750 So, I mean, I think Lindsay and I can both say 00:38:34.750 --> 00:38:38.289 like for me, my life has not slowed down, right? 00:38:38.369 --> 00:38:41.170 I was still like running and moving, but it just 00:38:41.170 --> 00:38:44.570 feels practice. Yeah. Oh my gosh. All the, every 00:38:44.570 --> 00:38:47.489 single kid has their own thing. It's just. Wonderful, 00:38:47.690 --> 00:38:49.869 right? Wonderful and crazy at the same time. 00:38:50.230 --> 00:38:52.530 So just because we're talking about peace doesn't 00:38:52.530 --> 00:38:55.530 mean we're talking about, what is the mediocrity? 00:38:55.710 --> 00:38:57.670 Just because we're talking about peace doesn't 00:38:57.670 --> 00:38:59.949 mean we're talking about just being boring and 00:38:59.949 --> 00:39:02.530 lame and mediocre. Amanda that. And actually, 00:39:02.530 --> 00:39:05.289 if you would have said that too, hustle in deep. 00:39:05.429 --> 00:39:06.650 Well, six years ago, let's say when I started 00:39:06.650 --> 00:39:09.510 this business, I would have got scared from that. 00:39:09.750 --> 00:39:12.070 You're right. Now it's finding peace and that 00:39:12.070 --> 00:39:16.739 brings you peace and joy and Zen. My good girl 00:39:16.739 --> 00:39:19.599 detox labels that I had to shed for myself is 00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:22.679 just because I'm not stressed. If I'm not stressed, 00:39:22.739 --> 00:39:24.639 that means I'm not working hard enough. That 00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:27.239 was like a label I had to get rid of. Stress 00:39:27.239 --> 00:39:30.179 does not equal a pat on the back. Stress is not 00:39:30.179 --> 00:39:32.420 a badge of honor. It's not meaning that you're 00:39:32.420 --> 00:39:34.940 doing the right thing, which I think as a teenager 00:39:34.940 --> 00:39:38.480 especially, I believed that. If I'm not stressed, 00:39:38.519 --> 00:39:40.800 I'm not pushing myself hard enough. And that's 00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:44.139 just untrue. That is so good. So I have to bring 00:39:44.139 --> 00:39:46.519 it now to something that I think has been, the 00:39:46.519 --> 00:39:49.840 universe has had this in the making for so long 00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:52.300 without you ever knowing that this is in your 00:39:52.300 --> 00:39:54.239 cards or in your future or anything like that. 00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:57.219 But I have a book in front of me right now, and 00:39:57.219 --> 00:40:00.219 it's called the Tater Tot tradition. And it is 00:40:00.219 --> 00:40:03.500 one of the most incredible things I think that 00:40:03.500 --> 00:40:06.159 Mandy has put together to date. But you said 00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:10.340 You have five kids. Yes, in our blended family. 00:40:10.380 --> 00:40:13.179 In your blended family. And you put a children's 00:40:13.179 --> 00:40:16.260 book together about this. It has been one of 00:40:16.260 --> 00:40:21.900 the most special things to witness. My dear friend, 00:40:22.059 --> 00:40:25.739 I just see you glow different, happier. You have 00:40:25.739 --> 00:40:28.619 found someone like your absolute match and just 00:40:28.619 --> 00:40:31.159 like how you guys go to sports together and the 00:40:31.159 --> 00:40:33.659 kids love each other. You deserve it. But then 00:40:33.659 --> 00:40:35.860 you go and freaking write a children's book about 00:40:35.860 --> 00:40:40.159 it. It's amazing. So just give us a glimpse into 00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:42.579 the life of Mandy with five kids. Well, yes. 00:40:42.619 --> 00:40:44.920 Well, I will say the story in and of itself is 00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:47.619 actually a part of my own good girl detox, right? 00:40:47.659 --> 00:40:49.829 So I've had in my mind that I want to write this 00:40:49.829 --> 00:40:51.989 big serious professional book about you know 00:40:51.989 --> 00:40:53.949 what I've been speaking about and consulting 00:40:53.949 --> 00:40:56.269 about and I put so much pressure on myself to 00:40:56.269 --> 00:40:59.789 get this book out right but my life is had all 00:40:59.789 --> 00:41:01.949 these twists and turns and all these unexpected 00:41:01.949 --> 00:41:04.389 experiences and every single time I think that 00:41:04.389 --> 00:41:07.730 I'm close to having the the right book right 00:41:07.730 --> 00:41:10.389 my perspective changes and I'm like So I put 00:41:10.389 --> 00:41:12.769 so much pressure on myself to write this big, 00:41:12.989 --> 00:41:15.010 fancy, important book. And I was like, I need 00:41:15.010 --> 00:41:17.250 to release the pressure. I need to just go through 00:41:17.250 --> 00:41:19.809 the process of writing something and seeing what 00:41:19.809 --> 00:41:21.550 that's like. I always learn best through doing 00:41:21.550 --> 00:41:24.570 anyway. And so I literally just wrote the story 00:41:24.570 --> 00:41:27.820 of how Me, Xander, and Lainey, my two kids, met 00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:30.360 Ben and Henrik Stella Scarlett, his three kids, 00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:33.119 for the very first time. It was about Ben making 00:41:33.119 --> 00:41:35.980 tater tot hot dish for dinner. The most Minnesota 00:41:35.980 --> 00:41:38.719 thing ever. And so I just wrote the story. It 00:41:38.719 --> 00:41:40.360 literally took me an hour to write it, because 00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:42.440 it's true. It's the true story. It's how it happened. 00:41:42.500 --> 00:41:44.619 And I've told this story to friends and family 00:41:44.619 --> 00:41:47.800 a million times. I hired an illustrator and went 00:41:47.800 --> 00:41:49.920 through the process. And I really honestly just 00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:51.500 thought it was going to be a family project. 00:41:51.500 --> 00:41:54.159 But it kind of blew up a little bit. It hit number 00:41:54.159 --> 00:41:57.969 13. on the best seller list for family and relationships, 00:41:58.090 --> 00:42:01.050 which I was like, oh! So shocking. So I'm very 00:42:01.050 --> 00:42:02.769 excited about it. The kids are excited about 00:42:02.769 --> 00:42:05.889 it. It's fun having our story out there and having 00:42:05.889 --> 00:42:08.210 the kids be super proud and not embarrassed of 00:42:08.210 --> 00:42:10.969 it, you know, honestly. But yeah, I mean, there 00:42:10.969 --> 00:42:13.050 were a lot of dynamics to blending our family 00:42:13.050 --> 00:42:15.090 together. But honestly, I don't think that we 00:42:15.090 --> 00:42:17.969 could. It's truly best case scenario. The kids 00:42:17.969 --> 00:42:20.070 are at a really good age. They all really liked 00:42:20.070 --> 00:42:21.989 each other right away. It was just a matter of 00:42:21.989 --> 00:42:24.469 figuring out logistics and that sort of thing. 00:42:24.510 --> 00:42:27.469 But we are very, honestly, very lucky. It's been 00:42:27.469 --> 00:42:29.929 really special to watch. kids to in their connection 00:42:29.929 --> 00:42:32.190 right away and their connection to Ben and vice 00:42:32.190 --> 00:42:35.969 versa. The process that your kids going, like 00:42:35.969 --> 00:42:37.909 what you involve them in, let's put it that way. 00:42:38.309 --> 00:42:41.250 With this is so neat. Like you guys, if you open 00:42:41.250 --> 00:42:44.110 the beginning of the book, she's got signatures 00:42:44.110 --> 00:42:46.329 from each of the kiddos. They did their book 00:42:46.329 --> 00:42:48.869 signing. Is that how it went? Yes. Yes. So I 00:42:48.869 --> 00:42:51.650 mean, character signings or whatever. And so 00:42:51.650 --> 00:42:54.170 we are planning on some local in -person events 00:42:54.170 --> 00:42:56.710 and all of the kids are very involved in coming 00:42:56.710 --> 00:42:58.639 and signing on the things. But they were, yes, 00:42:58.699 --> 00:43:00.880 very, very involved throughout the whole process. 00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.820 I wanted to make sure I was representing them 00:43:02.820 --> 00:43:04.780 and their feelings properly throughout the process, 00:43:04.840 --> 00:43:07.159 because I just wrote it from my perspective and 00:43:07.159 --> 00:43:09.380 from what I assumed they were going through when 00:43:09.380 --> 00:43:11.739 we decided to blend our families together. So 00:43:11.739 --> 00:43:13.659 to get the affirmation from them that they were 00:43:13.659 --> 00:43:17.780 like, yes, this is exactly how we felt. And it's 00:43:17.780 --> 00:43:19.800 been really special. And of course, they had 00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:22.940 all of their opinions about the characters. Henrik 00:43:22.940 --> 00:43:25.440 specifically asked me if he could make his biceps 00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:28.179 bigger. Oh, I love that. Okay. What about Laney? 00:43:28.219 --> 00:43:30.139 Did Laney have any input? Oh, she just wanted 00:43:30.139 --> 00:43:33.079 to make sure that she was in pink and that her 00:43:33.079 --> 00:43:35.360 stuffed pig was included in the story, which, 00:43:35.519 --> 00:43:37.880 which it definitely is when you can't go anywhere 00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:40.639 without or do anything without Laney and her 00:43:40.639 --> 00:43:43.820 stuffed pig. So incredible. So incredible. Your 00:43:43.820 --> 00:43:46.480 families came together through this entire achievement 00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:49.340 journey to the good girl detox. Yes, I would 00:43:49.340 --> 00:43:52.179 say definitely. And what I will say about, you 00:43:52.179 --> 00:43:54.079 know, the hardships of a blended family, there's 00:43:54.079 --> 00:43:56.840 a lot, there's a lot of parenting and kids and 00:43:56.840 --> 00:43:59.900 chaos and all of this stuff. But for me, going 00:43:59.900 --> 00:44:02.619 through this detox and meeting a partner like 00:44:02.619 --> 00:44:04.900 Ben, that has been very transformative for me 00:44:04.900 --> 00:44:08.079 as well. Ben is naturally calm, cool, collected, 00:44:08.300 --> 00:44:10.760 right? He's naturally very calm in the chaos. 00:44:11.059 --> 00:44:14.099 He's a firefighter, so even his job is unknown 00:44:14.099 --> 00:44:16.639 and chaos all the time. His personality is just 00:44:16.639 --> 00:44:19.239 really fit for that. But he's also a dreamer 00:44:19.239 --> 00:44:21.679 as well. And we also both very much value time 00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:24.539 together and family. So watching him navigate 00:44:24.539 --> 00:44:28.150 all of that and him just really be true to himself 00:44:28.150 --> 00:44:30.489 and his values. That was very inspiring for me. 00:44:30.590 --> 00:44:33.530 I'm like I admire that and I want to embody that 00:44:33.530 --> 00:44:37.150 in my own decision -making. So yes, I mean not 00:44:37.150 --> 00:44:39.849 only the kids have been such an instrumental 00:44:39.849 --> 00:44:43.289 part of my growth in being the mom I want to 00:44:43.289 --> 00:44:45.969 be, the person I want to be, but also watching 00:44:45.969 --> 00:44:48.789 a partner like Ben. I admire these qualities 00:44:48.789 --> 00:44:51.210 and I want to adopt them and that's been just 00:44:51.210 --> 00:44:54.000 great for my personal peace and building the 00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:56.719 life I want to live. I love that. Well, what 00:44:56.719 --> 00:45:01.460 I will say is Mandy has been an incredible inspiration 00:45:01.460 --> 00:45:04.519 and actually incredibly for myself and incredibly 00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:09.039 pivotal for me as a leader. I went through a 00:45:09.039 --> 00:45:11.940 big transition of going from my executive career 00:45:11.940 --> 00:45:16.059 to flying on my own in the business world, but 00:45:16.059 --> 00:45:18.980 coming together as far as confidence and walking 00:45:18.980 --> 00:45:22.000 on my own and holding true to my own values and 00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:24.420 whatnot. So I will say this is so special for 00:45:24.420 --> 00:45:26.760 me and I hope we have more conversations together 00:45:26.760 --> 00:45:28.840 behind the microphone. I just asked that now. 00:45:29.420 --> 00:45:31.900 I'm just going to plug that now because I absolutely 00:45:31.900 --> 00:45:35.099 love talking with Mandy, of course, as a friend 00:45:35.099 --> 00:45:39.219 on a personal level, but she is one of or is 00:45:39.219 --> 00:45:43.119 my favorite when it comes to business talk, leadership 00:45:43.119 --> 00:45:45.559 talk. We both get so involved. But one thing 00:45:45.559 --> 00:45:49.380 I did want to do is because Mandy is so special 00:45:49.380 --> 00:45:52.300 to me and to others, I reached out to two of 00:45:52.300 --> 00:45:55.920 our other very best friends and I asked them 00:45:55.920 --> 00:45:58.360 two questions. And I thought this would be really 00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:02.610 awesome to end this. episode, like who Mandy 00:46:02.610 --> 00:46:05.789 is to us and what she means to us. Oh my gosh, 00:46:05.869 --> 00:46:08.510 why am I scared? I know a normal Mandy, old Mandy 00:46:08.510 --> 00:46:09.929 would never get emotional and she'd probably 00:46:09.929 --> 00:46:12.190 be like, what the heck? And now, no, I'm just 00:46:12.190 --> 00:46:13.610 kidding. You don't need to get emotional. But 00:46:13.610 --> 00:46:15.929 so I was like, number one, quick, let's throw 00:46:15.929 --> 00:46:17.530 this in there. How would you describe Mandy? 00:46:17.690 --> 00:46:19.570 And actually I was going to even like put my 00:46:19.570 --> 00:46:21.889 own separate thing into words. I think with the 00:46:21.889 --> 00:46:23.349 intro and everything, I think I've talked about 00:46:23.349 --> 00:46:25.670 a little bit. And so how do you describe Mandy? 00:46:26.210 --> 00:46:28.570 She's the kind of person who lights up every 00:46:28.570 --> 00:46:32.230 room she walks into. un -curismatic and effortlessly 00:46:32.230 --> 00:46:35.190 magnetic. Mandy has a presence that draws people 00:46:35.190 --> 00:46:37.610 in. She's bold in the best way, never afraid 00:46:37.610 --> 00:46:40.389 to speak her mind and chase what she wants. Behind 00:46:40.389 --> 00:46:42.730 that radiant energy, she's a fiercely hardworking 00:46:42.730 --> 00:46:45.829 soul who leads with passion and with heart. Mandy 00:46:45.829 --> 00:46:48.869 is the ultimate hype girl. I've never met anyone 00:46:48.869 --> 00:46:51.210 who shows so much support to all of her family 00:46:51.210 --> 00:46:53.690 and friends. She's the one who always shows up. 00:46:53.730 --> 00:46:55.590 She wants everyone to win and goes out of her 00:46:55.590 --> 00:46:58.900 way to help make it happen. She's driven. reliable 00:46:58.900 --> 00:47:01.920 and an amazing human. That is so sweet. But I'm 00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:04.639 not done yet. Oh God. So what does Mandy mean 00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:07.260 to you? Mandy is one of my closest friends. We've 00:47:07.260 --> 00:47:08.780 been through a lot of ups and downs together 00:47:08.780 --> 00:47:11.039 and I trust her with anything and everything. 00:47:11.260 --> 00:47:13.559 She's one of those rare humans I can sit in silence 00:47:13.559 --> 00:47:16.539 with and feel 100 % comfortable around. I love 00:47:16.539 --> 00:47:18.880 her and seeing her so happy with her family life 00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:22.179 makes me so, so happy. She deserves the world. 00:47:22.360 --> 00:47:24.820 She's been a constant through so many seasons 00:47:24.820 --> 00:47:27.219 of life from navigating motherhood to standing 00:47:27.219 --> 00:47:30.309 strong. as co -workers in a fierce, male -dominated 00:47:30.309 --> 00:47:32.670 world. Together we've tackled the rollercoaster 00:47:32.670 --> 00:47:35.409 of self -employment and embraced the chaos of 00:47:35.409 --> 00:47:37.869 becoming our own bosses in our own unique ways. 00:47:38.289 --> 00:47:40.369 Through it all, Mandy has been one of my greatest 00:47:40.369 --> 00:47:43.409 supporters, my ultimate hype girl, my steady 00:47:43.409 --> 00:47:45.909 anchor, and someone I can lean on in celebration 00:47:45.909 --> 00:47:49.489 and in the storms. Her presence in my life is 00:47:49.489 --> 00:47:52.309 powerful, grounding, and deeply appreciated. 00:47:54.340 --> 00:47:57.920 So here's what I'm gonna wrap up with that Everyone 00:47:57.920 --> 00:48:00.019 needs to find themselves a man and if you don't 00:48:00.019 --> 00:48:03.400 have that in your life How can they find you 00:48:03.400 --> 00:48:06.579 know truly on social media and all of that? I 00:48:06.579 --> 00:48:10.199 hope that you will Follow you have so much going 00:48:10.199 --> 00:48:13.349 on with family right now, but I hope that you 00:48:13.349 --> 00:48:16.329 follow Mandy as a freaking power horse of a leader. 00:48:16.829 --> 00:48:20.070 I personally know there is a lot in the works 00:48:20.070 --> 00:48:22.030 right now. There's a lot in the work. There's 00:48:22.030 --> 00:48:25.769 a huge future, big move that is coming. Stay 00:48:25.769 --> 00:48:29.429 tuned. But if anybody wants Mandy, wants to see, 00:48:29.730 --> 00:48:32.170 wants to follow, wants to hear what you have 00:48:32.170 --> 00:48:34.210 going on, wants to be inspired and motivated, 00:48:34.510 --> 00:48:37.150 where can they find you? Yes, I am most active 00:48:37.150 --> 00:48:40.210 on Instagram. So at Mandy Moon Consulting or 00:48:40.210 --> 00:48:42.329 you can Facebook friend me because I'm a millennial. 00:48:42.280 --> 00:48:46.079 Yeah, amen to that. You're going crazy with LinkedIn 00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:48.460 right now, and I'm like, I have to. On the LinkedIn. 00:48:49.019 --> 00:48:52.280 On the LinkedIn. And where can they find your 00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:55.300 book? Right now, you can go to BarnesAndNoble 00:48:55.300 --> 00:48:59.340 .com or on Amazon. A tater tot tradition, a blended 00:48:59.340 --> 00:49:03.980 family story by M. Moon can find it. So it's 00:49:03.980 --> 00:49:06.480 very special. I'm very excited about it. Thank 00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:08.960 you for being here. Thank you for having me. 00:49:09.880 --> 00:49:12.139 Thank you for listening. If you found this information 00:49:12.139 --> 00:49:14.960 helpful, please share it with a friend. If you're 00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:16.639 looking for more information on the topics we 00:49:16.639 --> 00:49:19.039 covered, please head to the show notes below. 00:49:19.469 --> 00:49:22.010 And if you wouldn't mind leaving a five -star 00:49:22.010 --> 00:49:24.650 rating in review, this would help this mission 00:49:24.650 --> 00:49:27.849 and our journey to get started. Let's make today 00:49:27.849 --> 00:49:31.409 and every day an opportunity to level up. Until 00:49:31.409 --> 00:49:34.650 next time, keep dreaming, keep striving, and 00:49:34.650 --> 00:49:36.110 keep making a difference.