WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.640 You know, the average brother in prison, you 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:07.059 know, no disrespect to them, nice red education 00:00:07.059 --> 00:00:11.679 with a 15 -year -old emotional quotient. So here 00:00:11.679 --> 00:00:15.080 I am getting these downloads through the Bible, 00:00:15.140 --> 00:00:17.960 the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Dead Speaks, 00:00:17.980 --> 00:00:21.039 I was reading the Sanskrit, Buddha, Krishna, 00:00:21.260 --> 00:00:24.879 you know, these are my dudes, you know, so that's 00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:27.550 what was teaching me. the articulation of the 00:00:27.550 --> 00:00:29.269 science, it wasn't later on until I went to other 00:00:29.269 --> 00:00:31.949 prisons when I got books, then I could speak 00:00:31.949 --> 00:00:34.950 scientifically. So people don't think, oh, that's 00:00:34.950 --> 00:00:37.490 ancient mythology. Oh, bro, you know, you're 00:00:37.490 --> 00:00:39.710 not a pastor. You're not a rabbi. You're not 00:00:39.710 --> 00:00:41.509 the, everybody's keeping telling me who I'm not. 00:00:41.630 --> 00:01:00.280 Who am I then? Who am I? I'm so excited for the 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:03.679 guest today, Tobias Tubbs. So excited. I've been 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:04.920 looking forward to this. And the reason why I've 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:06.700 been looking forward to this so much is because 00:01:06.700 --> 00:01:08.900 I know that we're going to be talking a lot about 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:13.620 love and spirituality. And those are two of my 00:01:13.620 --> 00:01:17.230 favorite topics in the whole world. And you have 00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:21.890 an amazing story, incarcerated for 28 years for 00:01:21.890 --> 00:01:25.290 a crime that you didn't do. And somehow you navigated 00:01:25.290 --> 00:01:28.290 your way. You threaded the needle and found your 00:01:28.290 --> 00:01:31.450 peace and redemption. And there's so much of 00:01:31.450 --> 00:01:34.829 your story that resonates with me. And I can't 00:01:34.829 --> 00:01:36.930 wait to dig in for you to share your story with 00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:39.730 everybody. We got the Kleenex. We're all ready 00:01:39.730 --> 00:01:43.849 to go. Three criers here, pretty much. Yeah, 00:01:43.870 --> 00:01:46.019 and I just want to say before we start. I was 00:01:46.019 --> 00:01:47.980 watching one of your videos. And within five 00:01:47.980 --> 00:01:50.620 minutes, I was crying. So, you know, I made sure 00:01:50.620 --> 00:01:52.500 that the tissue paper was here again. In this 00:01:52.500 --> 00:01:54.599 case, you know, you messed up my makeup. But 00:01:54.599 --> 00:01:56.560 it's okay if you did. Don't worry. We're there. 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.200 We're there. Where do you want me to start? I'm 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.739 expert. You know, of course, you've got a beautiful 00:02:02.739 --> 00:02:06.480 background of an amazing, loving father who was 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:09.560 teaching you spiritual things at a young age. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.800 But I want to go to where, fast forward, you're 00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:17.020 18. Yeah. You're hanging out with some boys. 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:21.639 So what happened there? Maybe later on we'll 00:02:21.639 --> 00:02:24.560 rewind back to your amazing father, but let's 00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:31.139 start with that crazy day. Okay. One at 18 and 00:02:31.139 --> 00:02:35.280 one at the age of 20. Like we said, we go back 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:37.919 into my childhood a little bit later. Just got 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:40.719 back from Columbia, Orangeburg, South Carolina, 00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:45.669 in 1988. I'm 18 years old. My father is an electrical 00:02:45.669 --> 00:02:48.889 contractor, a master electrician. So we was in 00:02:48.889 --> 00:02:52.569 Watts at the time. And he says, son, don't be 00:02:52.569 --> 00:02:55.689 estranged to the natives. At that time, the majority 00:02:55.689 --> 00:02:59.229 of young men were gang -affiliated. Gangs had 00:02:59.229 --> 00:03:02.930 taken over Los Angeles in the 80s. And so me, 00:03:03.129 --> 00:03:05.469 you know, I've never been gang -affiliated, you 00:03:05.469 --> 00:03:07.750 know, dishonoring my father. So I went out there 00:03:07.750 --> 00:03:10.430 inside of the projects. I just rolled up, pulled 00:03:10.430 --> 00:03:12.509 all my stuff out, about to move it to my father's. 00:03:12.889 --> 00:03:16.949 wife at the time, her apartment. So I meet the 00:03:16.949 --> 00:03:19.849 guys, meeting all the guys. And the next thing 00:03:19.849 --> 00:03:23.050 I know, my first sign was a helicopter came around 00:03:23.050 --> 00:03:26.150 to something very deep into me. Like, yeah, this 00:03:26.150 --> 00:03:28.650 ain't cool. I'm a South Carolina kid and ain't 00:03:28.650 --> 00:03:34.090 no helicopters. So then 10 squad cars came up 00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:38.449 in Greek. Upon arrival? You had just arrived. 00:03:38.710 --> 00:03:41.460 Brother, just arrived. My clothes and stuff, 00:03:41.539 --> 00:03:44.180 I'm just moving in. Hard days of work. But my 00:03:44.180 --> 00:03:46.960 father's, I've been an electrician with my father 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:52.379 since I was seven. I am 17, 18 at the time. And 00:03:52.379 --> 00:03:54.639 this was the first time. The life without senses 00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:57.379 came at 20. But this is the first time I was 00:03:57.379 --> 00:03:59.840 initiated into the system. So they take all the 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:01.919 IDs and most of the guys don't even have IDs. 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:05.490 And so. Uh, man, that's my name. I said, my name 00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:08.069 is Tobias Tubbs, sir. He said, Tobias Tubbs, 00:04:08.250 --> 00:04:10.810 sir? He looked around to his partners. He said, 00:04:10.889 --> 00:04:13.150 well, Mr. Tobias Tubbs, sir, one of y 'all bust 00:04:13.150 --> 00:04:16.769 off the window in my squad car. Man, you're going, 00:04:16.949 --> 00:04:19.629 uh, to jail. I'm like, oh, sure. I ain't doing 00:04:19.629 --> 00:04:25.129 the job in the sergeant's squad car. Hmm. So 00:04:25.129 --> 00:04:27.370 I'm running, and they say it's clean. My, my 00:04:27.370 --> 00:04:30.189 name. It's clean. It has to be clean. I just 00:04:30.189 --> 00:04:33.829 got here. And he asked me, uh, Where do you come 00:04:33.829 --> 00:04:37.209 from? I said, South Carolina, sir. He said, welcome 00:04:37.209 --> 00:04:39.990 to Los Angeles. You're going to jail for busting 00:04:39.990 --> 00:04:45.230 out the window. Then my squad gone. That's the 00:04:45.230 --> 00:04:48.629 first time in my life that I've always been a 00:04:48.629 --> 00:04:54.370 sensitive person. The first time I felt the handcuffs 00:04:54.370 --> 00:04:57.589 on that bone. And it wasn't so much the steel 00:04:57.589 --> 00:05:01.509 upon bone. It was the angst. It was like the 00:05:01.509 --> 00:05:05.639 hatred. As if he knew me and I personally heard 00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:09.639 him. And then he stuck me in the glass. And they 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:13.019 rolled me around all night through Compton, calling 00:05:13.019 --> 00:05:16.040 me the N -word, telling different officers they 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:21.560 were going to kill me. And that was the first 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:25.319 time I was arrested. Now we're going to Fabs 00:05:25.319 --> 00:05:28.779 4. I don't need that experience here because 00:05:28.779 --> 00:05:31.360 I just want to understand it. They took you to 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.439 jail that night? They took me to jail in the 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:36.040 middle of Watts. And they charged you for something? 00:05:36.139 --> 00:05:39.300 They charged me for busting out the window. You 00:05:39.300 --> 00:05:41.560 did nothing? I did not, but of course not. I 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:44.220 would work with my father all day. They didn't 00:05:44.220 --> 00:05:46.600 give you a chance to? Listen, they let me out 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:49.540 like 3 o 'clock in the morning. Remember, this 00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:55.259 happened maybe 47 years ago. They kept my watch. 00:05:55.699 --> 00:05:58.540 I got paid. My daddy was paying me $7 an hour 00:05:58.540 --> 00:06:01.220 there. No disrespect to you, daddy, but come 00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.899 on, man. $700, and, you know, I was doing grown 00:06:04.899 --> 00:06:06.639 man work since I was a kid. You know, you try 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:09.079 to please your father, although I know we're 00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:10.480 going to get to him later, but it's hard to tell 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:15.139 my stories without it. And they took my paycheck. 00:06:16.620 --> 00:06:20.740 And this all really let me know that, you know, 00:06:20.740 --> 00:06:23.860 these people are not playing fair. They let me 00:06:23.860 --> 00:06:28.550 out in a place I've never been to. In the middle 00:06:28.550 --> 00:06:32.569 of Watts and I'm walking, I call my father to 00:06:32.569 --> 00:06:36.470 tell him what happened. And ironically, he says 00:06:36.470 --> 00:06:40.129 the same thing the police said. Welcome to LA. 00:06:41.250 --> 00:06:45.670 That kind of hurt me worse. My father's been 00:06:45.670 --> 00:06:49.050 my champion. And come get me, be mad, be angry. 00:06:49.129 --> 00:06:51.829 My father's a black revolutionary and all this 00:06:51.829 --> 00:06:55.110 stuff. But we've talked about it in depth. He 00:06:55.110 --> 00:06:58.050 was like, son. You have to understand the realities 00:06:58.050 --> 00:07:01.610 of where you're at and how to navigate those 00:07:01.610 --> 00:07:04.110 realities because I'm not going to be with you 00:07:04.110 --> 00:07:07.350 your whole life. So that night, I found so much 00:07:07.350 --> 00:07:10.410 humanity in the Hispanic gang members because, 00:07:10.470 --> 00:07:13.889 remember, I'm bloody. The T -shirt is bloody, 00:07:14.009 --> 00:07:16.889 and I'm walking through different barrios and 00:07:16.889 --> 00:07:19.430 neighborhoods, and they're laughing because the 00:07:19.430 --> 00:07:22.560 officers did the same thing to them. Hey, man, 00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:25.060 go this way, man. Turn right. Go this way. So 00:07:25.060 --> 00:07:27.120 I went through like four or five hoods. And if 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:30.220 you look at my story, when I got to prison at 00:07:30.220 --> 00:07:33.139 24, the death sentence, that I've already seen 00:07:33.139 --> 00:07:37.199 humanity and people who we've claimed have no 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:39.860 humanity. But we know we've marketed, and we 00:07:39.860 --> 00:07:42.639 as a country have marketed these people like 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:44.860 there's no good in them. But yet and still, they 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:48.680 empathize. They sympathize with me. Oh, the same 00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:50.759 thing happened to me. Go this way. Go that way. 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:53.699 And so I just explained this to my younger sister. 00:07:53.819 --> 00:07:55.779 The first time I knew that I had a voice, I had 00:07:55.779 --> 00:07:59.339 a speech impediment. We all had to go to court 00:07:59.339 --> 00:08:01.699 for open container. Because what they get is 00:08:01.699 --> 00:08:03.899 open container, gambling, blah, blah, blah, blah, 00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.100 blah. They're dressed, I know y 'all, and I know 00:08:07.100 --> 00:08:12.379 in like corduroy pants, you know, gang dress 00:08:12.379 --> 00:08:15.100 up attire. Me, my father had me in tailor -made 00:08:15.100 --> 00:08:18.040 clothes at like 12. So I got tailor -made tacks 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:21.000 on, ballet slip -on shoes, a shirt like this, 00:08:21.240 --> 00:08:23.899 you know, real nice. And so we ride the bus. 00:08:23.959 --> 00:08:27.680 We go to the courthouse. And the judge was like, 00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:29.600 yeah, he's looking through. And he looks at me 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:33.240 like, who are you? And this is very important 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:36.039 later on in my life. Because if you look at my 00:08:36.039 --> 00:08:38.539 30 -year experience, I count these two years 00:08:38.539 --> 00:08:42.080 as well, 20 years experience, every point of 00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:44.200 your life, there's going to be indications that 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:46.929 you can do it. that you have what it takes to 00:08:46.929 --> 00:08:49.590 do it, but you have to go back and grab those 00:08:49.590 --> 00:08:51.529 moments and seize those moments because those 00:08:51.529 --> 00:08:54.110 moments really wasn't for you. It was for those 00:08:54.110 --> 00:08:56.389 who might not have a voice. It was those who 00:08:56.389 --> 00:08:58.750 might not have a champion or a father. And so 00:08:58.750 --> 00:09:02.730 I said, Your Honor, my name is Tobias Tubbs. 00:09:02.870 --> 00:09:05.009 I come from South Carolina, and he's just looking 00:09:05.009 --> 00:09:07.809 at me. He's mesmerized. Like, you know, normally 00:09:07.809 --> 00:09:11.250 you do that jerrycare. You know, that's what 00:09:11.250 --> 00:09:16.970 he's used to. Yeah, you know, I'm so old and 00:09:16.970 --> 00:09:19.309 happy and all this, and I'm speaking with articulants, 00:09:19.309 --> 00:09:22.250 or I'm trying to draw my spattery. And he threw 00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:25.970 out the case. So this is when I'm 18. Nice. So 00:09:25.970 --> 00:09:32.629 if you look at me at 38, 48, 48, 30 years later, 00:09:32.769 --> 00:09:37.289 with Governor Brown, and what happened, this 00:09:37.289 --> 00:09:39.210 is where my father didn't coddle me, because 00:09:39.210 --> 00:09:42.009 he knew that he's invested all of the seeds. 00:09:42.370 --> 00:09:44.789 You know, he knew this was training. Yeah, you 00:09:44.789 --> 00:09:47.210 stand up on your own. Yeah, so that was at the 00:09:47.210 --> 00:09:51.610 age of 20, which you're speaking of, is it was 00:09:51.610 --> 00:09:53.090 me and two of my co -defendants, three of my 00:09:53.090 --> 00:09:54.789 co -defendants. We're on the same basketball 00:09:54.789 --> 00:09:59.529 team. And so a case occurred, two of my co -defendants, 00:09:59.529 --> 00:10:01.990 they committed the crime and admitted to it. 00:10:02.970 --> 00:10:10.809 Confessed. Confessed, yeah, with several testimonies. 00:10:10.990 --> 00:10:13.639 Wow. The first thing my father said. Is Sato 00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:15.960 that you weren't there? No. No, no, they didn't 00:10:15.960 --> 00:10:18.120 speak on me, period. They didn't speak on me, 00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:20.659 period. So being that we're the three stars on 00:10:20.659 --> 00:10:23.759 the team, we use this defense inside of my truck. 00:10:24.340 --> 00:10:28.039 Okay, now you're saying if Scottie Pippen and 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:31.769 Michael Jordan and Rotman is in the game. You 00:10:31.769 --> 00:10:33.669 know, Robin might go off and do whatever he's 00:10:33.669 --> 00:10:35.610 doing after the game. As we know, Mr. Robin's 00:10:35.610 --> 00:10:37.529 story, no disrespect, but I did use it. That 00:10:37.529 --> 00:10:39.789 don't mean that Scotty and Jordan is there with 00:10:39.789 --> 00:10:41.269 him because they're the three stars on the team. 00:10:41.850 --> 00:10:44.110 Robin had his own life and he does what he does, 00:10:44.210 --> 00:10:45.769 but he comes on the court and he does his stuff. 00:10:45.990 --> 00:10:47.570 Let me ask you to use this in my case. So you 00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:49.750 guys were three close friends. We're close friends. 00:10:49.889 --> 00:10:52.710 They committed a crime and they pulled you in. 00:10:52.909 --> 00:10:56.350 The officers, no evidence. I wasn't identified 00:10:56.350 --> 00:10:58.889 as the third person. They said it was a shorter 00:10:58.889 --> 00:11:01.299 guy, whatever the case might be. But they knew 00:11:01.299 --> 00:11:05.519 you guys were friends. So when they arrested 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:09.460 me, my father, first thing, now a little context, 00:11:09.779 --> 00:11:12.899 my father was wanted by the FBI his whole childhood 00:11:12.899 --> 00:11:15.679 because he was about black revolution. So my 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:17.779 father said, brother, if you ever been behind 00:11:17.779 --> 00:11:21.120 the wall, I'm 70 years old. My mother's sister's 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:24.299 in South Carolina. We're in the mecca of black 00:11:24.299 --> 00:11:26.659 folks, which is a murder park. And he's thinking 00:11:26.659 --> 00:11:29.120 that. the FBI is about to kick down the door 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:31.639 and I got to feed you. But all the spirituality 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:35.200 and mythology and sociology, conspiracy theories 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:39.440 and all this right now. And so when I got there 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:42.379 and was blessed to talk to the DA at the time, 00:11:42.419 --> 00:11:45.840 which was the mass incarceration, the DA, Mr. 00:11:45.980 --> 00:11:49.879 Garcetti, thank you. He's inside of one of my 00:11:49.879 --> 00:11:52.879 documentaries. What hurt me, I never told him, 00:11:52.899 --> 00:11:56.000 that he didn't even remember who I was. He said, 00:11:57.289 --> 00:11:59.669 Yeah, I don't know Tobias. He was just one of 00:11:59.669 --> 00:12:02.830 thousands. Wow. You know, I'm like, oh, man, 00:12:02.870 --> 00:12:04.250 I know who you is. I thought he was going to 00:12:04.250 --> 00:12:06.169 know you. I remember that kid. His family was 00:12:06.169 --> 00:12:12.350 there. And he said, oh, we treated a lot of people 00:12:12.350 --> 00:12:15.070 unjustly. We bit into a narrative that erased 00:12:15.070 --> 00:12:20.049 their humanity. He was able to treat them very 00:12:20.049 --> 00:12:23.629 humane. And a lot of us have regret about it. 00:12:23.970 --> 00:12:28.009 And so. Yeah, I didn't speak. And so they said 00:12:28.009 --> 00:12:30.870 my father was my legal runner at the time, which 00:12:30.870 --> 00:12:33.769 is unheard of in the 80s, that young black men 00:12:33.769 --> 00:12:37.970 have a father who's in the courts, who's investigating 00:12:37.970 --> 00:12:43.230 the case. My father was not just a black liberation. 00:12:43.690 --> 00:12:46.590 My father was, you know, he's a weapons man, 00:12:46.710 --> 00:12:50.049 you know. So he knew what happened there was 00:12:50.049 --> 00:12:52.809 a beast. So the point of this is he came to me, 00:12:52.830 --> 00:12:56.710 and this is to. David's points about love and 00:12:56.710 --> 00:12:59.690 spirituality. He says, son, they're about to 00:12:59.690 --> 00:13:05.629 send you away. You know, me and my father just 00:13:05.629 --> 00:13:07.210 started talking about this stuff. So it's like 00:13:07.210 --> 00:13:12.070 real fresh, you know, recently, you know, because 00:13:12.070 --> 00:13:14.870 I never really got his perspective because he's 00:13:14.870 --> 00:13:17.649 always strong. He's coming and I'm here, son. 00:13:18.190 --> 00:13:22.129 And so now I'm out in the scene. And so we take 00:13:22.129 --> 00:13:27.909 trips. So he can talk. And he said, they might 00:13:27.909 --> 00:13:31.970 have your body, but they don't have your spirit. 00:13:32.269 --> 00:13:36.549 Wow. Your mind, son. And so now he's referring 00:13:36.549 --> 00:13:40.769 to days in which we sit, days we go into meditation, 00:13:40.870 --> 00:13:44.110 days that we're talking about the different mythologies 00:13:44.110 --> 00:13:47.509 of Asia. My father didn't believe in television. 00:13:47.529 --> 00:13:50.450 He believed in reading and discussing mythologies 00:13:50.450 --> 00:13:53.519 and breaking up symbolism. you know, challenging, 00:13:53.940 --> 00:13:58.159 you know, the status quo. Oh, man, it's my due. 00:13:58.440 --> 00:14:00.940 It's like he was dropping the Bible seeds in 00:14:00.940 --> 00:14:05.519 me. So about time that at the age of 22, which 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:07.740 all have brought me here today to the age of 00:14:07.740 --> 00:14:12.960 48, those 28 years, you know, we cannot shy away 00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:17.860 from difficulty. You know, I say, do you think 00:14:17.860 --> 00:14:23.379 that Pearl? in the mouth of a clam did it like 00:14:23.379 --> 00:14:26.659 the agitation probably not did the diamond or 00:14:26.659 --> 00:14:31.159 the gold like the pressure upon the earth probably 00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:36.960 not but it is necessary so in my case i had to 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:40.759 figure out what is my advantage inside of a system 00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:44.639 where binance is the currency who can who hurt 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:48.120 who the worse you're the shot caller The police 00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:50.360 in prison, particularly California's prisons, 00:14:50.419 --> 00:14:53.340 that led the world to mass incarceration. And 00:14:53.340 --> 00:14:55.659 just for your audience, I'm not into being the 00:14:55.659 --> 00:14:57.840 victim. I'm a champion. I wasn't a victim up 00:14:57.840 --> 00:14:59.980 in there, nor did I flame the white man in the 00:14:59.980 --> 00:15:01.679 system, but we understand creative conditions 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:03.879 and how creative conditions work. It's an algorithm. 00:15:04.120 --> 00:15:06.340 The same way that you can create certain circumstances 00:15:06.340 --> 00:15:09.460 for a person to end up criminal, you can create 00:15:09.460 --> 00:15:13.159 reverse engineering, and that same person can 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:15.779 love on a person like a saint. You know? So that's 00:15:15.779 --> 00:15:20.799 how I looked at it then. But these insights didn't 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:24.600 come right away, you know? Yeah, so as I understand 00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:27.620 it, you really started to figure some of this 00:15:27.620 --> 00:15:31.820 stuff out around age 27 -ish or so? Yeah, at 00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:34.519 around age 27, customer took a serious. Yeah, 00:15:34.519 --> 00:15:39.299 so before that, you know, how bad did it get? 00:15:39.419 --> 00:15:41.399 But we still, like, I... What do you want to 00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:43.960 know? I still want to complete the story because, 00:15:43.980 --> 00:15:46.940 like, because you're in the courtroom. And you 00:15:46.940 --> 00:15:49.960 have a decision to make, right? Oh, yeah. You 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:53.440 have a choice to speak and tell your side of 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:54.960 the story. Yeah, that's a good point. Right? 00:15:55.100 --> 00:15:58.820 I think this is important. Speak or tell your 00:15:58.820 --> 00:16:02.279 side of the story. Or if you tell your side of 00:16:02.279 --> 00:16:04.740 the story, which is that you were completely 00:16:04.740 --> 00:16:08.720 innocent, you were nowhere around, your two friends 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.340 could get executed. Yeah, yeah. So even at that 00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:15.200 moment, at 20, you had to make a very big decision. 00:16:15.850 --> 00:16:18.450 can you tell us about okay tell me about that 00:16:18.450 --> 00:16:20.529 thought probably what were you feeling like how 00:16:20.529 --> 00:16:23.409 because i might have been like i'm sorry guys 00:16:23.409 --> 00:16:27.509 you committed the murder you know and i i can't 00:16:27.509 --> 00:16:29.850 i can't be in prison for 20 years for the rest 00:16:29.850 --> 00:16:32.809 of my life so i'm gonna have to speak like okay 00:16:32.809 --> 00:16:36.990 just share share a little bit about this um wherever 00:16:36.990 --> 00:16:39.370 we are they held zero evidence against you no 00:16:39.370 --> 00:16:42.929 so had you spoken as articulate as you are now 00:16:42.929 --> 00:16:45.700 they probably would have Yeah. You might have 00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:47.600 been completely let go. Okay. And had a different 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.899 journey in life, of course. I'm going to offer 00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:52.019 you this. At the age of seven, my father comes 00:16:52.019 --> 00:16:56.460 outside and said, are you going with me or staying 00:16:56.460 --> 00:17:00.679 with your mother? So I'm not a person that's 00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:03.659 new to difficult decisions. Just think about 00:17:03.659 --> 00:17:08.119 that I'm the only son of three girls, myself 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:12.680 and my three sisters, Nicole, Sade, and Tahira. 00:17:13.829 --> 00:17:17.049 my daddy comes outside i'm seven years old son 00:17:17.049 --> 00:17:20.210 are you going with me because this took me come 00:17:20.210 --> 00:17:22.990 on man let's go yeah so he put the decision on 00:17:22.990 --> 00:17:26.849 me then i said yeah i'm gonna go with you so 00:17:26.849 --> 00:17:29.190 let me go tell mama and my sisters goodbye hey 00:17:29.190 --> 00:17:30.970 man you might have to holler at them later you 00:17:30.970 --> 00:17:34.809 go up and then that might be it so at the age 00:17:34.809 --> 00:17:40.849 of 21 23 when the trial was there's something 00:17:40.849 --> 00:17:42.990 that's already in there about making difficult 00:17:42.990 --> 00:17:48.029 decisions the law at the time stated if you have 00:17:48.029 --> 00:17:51.269 more than one co -defendant and there's not a 00:17:51.269 --> 00:17:54.269 severance and they have statements and I don't 00:17:54.269 --> 00:17:56.970 have a statement and if I stand up to speak to 00:17:56.970 --> 00:18:00.210 myself it will put them in the death penalty 00:18:00.210 --> 00:18:07.529 in the death chair and now when you talk about 00:18:09.130 --> 00:18:11.109 You're talking about love. You're talking about 00:18:11.109 --> 00:18:14.789 revolution. You're talking about tasting the 00:18:14.789 --> 00:18:20.869 bitter pill. You know. It's all talking to its 00:18:20.869 --> 00:18:24.230 time. They offer me 25 years of life. They're 00:18:24.230 --> 00:18:30.430 offering deterrent states evidence. But sometimes 00:18:30.430 --> 00:18:35.650 something greater than yourself emerges. And 00:18:35.650 --> 00:18:38.410 from I know we're going to go into it later. 00:18:38.529 --> 00:18:41.029 The people I've met that are around you, the 00:18:41.029 --> 00:18:43.210 two of y 'all couldn't even pull this off. It's 00:18:43.210 --> 00:18:46.609 something greater than you working. To see the 00:18:46.609 --> 00:18:50.410 people around you, the power, the love, the spirituality, 00:18:50.990 --> 00:18:54.509 the practical, measurable steps of a formula 00:18:54.509 --> 00:18:58.190 that produces very powerful people, young and 00:18:58.190 --> 00:19:00.569 old. That's beyond y 'all. Y 'all are just willing 00:19:00.569 --> 00:19:03.769 participants. So even if I wanted to do something 00:19:03.769 --> 00:19:06.329 else, I didn't have an option because life, when 00:19:06.329 --> 00:19:08.490 it's in my heart, you know, when I'm convicted 00:19:08.490 --> 00:19:11.569 on a thing, that's it. Against all odds. Against 00:19:11.569 --> 00:19:14.369 all odds. This is my path then. This is my path. 00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:18.049 So it wasn't an option of turning. It's not an 00:19:18.049 --> 00:19:20.769 option for me to disrespect you or your home 00:19:20.769 --> 00:19:24.329 or the people around you. My daddy didn't raise 00:19:24.329 --> 00:19:27.009 me like that. So you almost felt like you had 00:19:27.009 --> 00:19:29.599 a decision to make, but. You felt the calling 00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:31.619 on what you needed to do because almost your 00:19:31.619 --> 00:19:34.119 path was already written for you. And to go back 00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:38.180 a little bit, I was in South Carolina. I was 00:19:38.180 --> 00:19:40.720 on California's most wanted. I was about to go 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:43.799 to America's most wanted. I'm talking about the 00:19:43.799 --> 00:19:49.480 raids. This is 1991. Leader of Muslim assassin 00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:52.640 team. Leader of Muslim, that'll get you a raise. 00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:55.480 Assassin team, that'll get you killed. This is 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:58.420 91, before 9 -11. I'm the first one to be labeled 00:19:58.420 --> 00:20:00.799 like that in the inner city as an African -American 00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:03.000 kid. That's what my warrant said, competence 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:05.539 most wanted. Y 'all are people of resource. I 00:20:05.539 --> 00:20:07.759 hope you find it because they don't know where 00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:10.380 to warrant it. Over the murders? Yeah, they were 00:20:10.380 --> 00:20:13.799 looking for you? Yeah, yeah. So I'm in South 00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:18.059 Carolina at USC, University of South Carolina, 00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:23.059 Game Cons. The phone rings. And I literally feel 00:20:23.059 --> 00:20:26.720 it. I'm in my girlfriend, the house dorm, her 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.579 dorm. I look down and I see a line of cars. And 00:20:30.579 --> 00:20:32.579 you know those like them Texas Rangers with the 00:20:32.579 --> 00:20:37.279 big old hats? Man, I've been scared in my life 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:39.839 a few times. Not a lady. They were there for 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:43.400 you. That's not cool. That's not cool. With the 00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:46.259 big old hats and them boots. You know, you can 00:20:46.259 --> 00:20:48.309 just imagine. Just like on the TV show. It's 00:20:48.309 --> 00:20:50.589 just like on the TV show. And time is like going 00:20:50.589 --> 00:20:52.509 real slow. They get real, real, real, real fast. 00:20:52.930 --> 00:20:55.609 And next thing they know, my mom, my mother's 00:20:55.609 --> 00:20:59.589 husband, 47 years now. I called my dad. I had 00:20:59.589 --> 00:21:06.349 my father and my dad. And the police chief for 00:21:06.349 --> 00:21:10.230 the black people. Now, this is in South Carolina. 00:21:10.329 --> 00:21:13.029 You got the white jail and the black jail. He 00:21:13.029 --> 00:21:15.130 just happened to be one of my coaches in high 00:21:15.130 --> 00:21:17.980 school. Look what happened, and now you understand. 00:21:18.180 --> 00:21:21.640 In context, the sociological context of my decisions, 00:21:21.859 --> 00:21:24.319 they let me get in the car with my mama. So me 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.700 and my mom go, and we go home. They take me to 00:21:26.700 --> 00:21:31.099 the pastor and the deacons, and they put hands, 00:21:31.180 --> 00:21:33.599 snatch my earring out of my ear. You on crack, 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:36.319 boy? Man, crack? I ain't never did drugs. I don't 00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:37.920 care about life, boy. You must have been on crack. 00:21:37.980 --> 00:21:41.859 And they pulled the exercise and the demon up 00:21:41.859 --> 00:21:45.279 out of me. I'm looking at them the same way you're 00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:48.539 looking at your little girl. So I was ready to 00:21:48.539 --> 00:21:50.720 turn myself in then for sure. So my mom took 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:52.960 me out to the index, and I love y 'all, but still, 00:21:53.059 --> 00:21:54.960 this is my story, and it created a safe space, 00:21:55.019 --> 00:21:57.400 so I'm telling it. And so my mother took me, 00:21:57.480 --> 00:22:00.819 and she said, Tobias, if you did it, I'd help 00:22:00.819 --> 00:22:03.180 you run. She said, it's my mama. It's a good 00:22:03.180 --> 00:22:07.059 mom. It's the best mom ever. I would help you 00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:10.930 run. I would tell. The captain of the police, 00:22:11.170 --> 00:22:13.109 which is like one of my uncles, tell him to go 00:22:13.109 --> 00:22:15.869 and you got him. And they all agreed, we're going 00:22:15.869 --> 00:22:18.190 to let him run. But if you didn't do it, son, 00:22:18.369 --> 00:22:23.869 my same little sister who's coming to share the 00:22:23.869 --> 00:22:26.390 beauty that y 'all have shared with me, I said, 00:22:26.410 --> 00:22:30.470 Mama, I'm putting on Tahira's life. At that time, 00:22:30.509 --> 00:22:32.430 I was a kid, so I swore upon people. I swear 00:22:32.430 --> 00:22:35.150 upon God now. And she knew. She didn't even ask 00:22:35.150 --> 00:22:37.960 me again. And I turned myself in. Here's a question 00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:40.859 for you. Who's writing your story? You or some 00:22:40.859 --> 00:22:43.380 random dude on the internet? If you're sick of 00:22:43.380 --> 00:22:47.099 Google, gossip blogs, or that one angry ex controlling 00:22:47.099 --> 00:22:49.559 how the world sees you, it's time to do something 00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:52.299 about it. Erase .com helps you take back your 00:22:52.299 --> 00:22:54.980 narrative by removing harmful content, outdated 00:22:54.980 --> 00:22:57.660 info, and straight -up lies from search engines. 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:00.099 Your past shouldn't be a permanent headline. 00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:03.019 Erase .com gives you the reset button that the 00:23:03.019 --> 00:23:05.619 internet forgot to include. So don't let the 00:23:05.619 --> 00:23:08.400 web define you. Go to Erased .com, use code ERASED 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:10.980 for 10 % off, and start owning your story today. 00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:14.019 Links in the description. Click it. Your future 00:23:14.019 --> 00:23:19.140 self will thank you. And from that point, I'm 00:23:19.140 --> 00:23:20.599 the kind of person, something that your husband 00:23:20.599 --> 00:23:25.380 told me on the Zoom. He said, when we befriend 00:23:25.380 --> 00:23:27.119 a person, that wasn't his word, but I don't want 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:29.380 to use the business term, we follow it through. 00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:31.900 And that was the last thing your husband told 00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:35.140 me. When we... You know, we ain't just, no, bro. 00:23:36.099 --> 00:23:40.680 We witch. So before God and my mother in the 00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:43.400 swamps of South Carolina, I'm going to see this 00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:46.119 through. Because when I put my word on it, that's 00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:49.759 it. That's it. That's it. And so when I got to 00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:53.700 court, all that happened in Compton, I was in 00:23:53.700 --> 00:23:55.279 Compton and Watts, which was some of the most 00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:57.339 dangerous and crazy place in the age. They shipped 00:23:57.339 --> 00:24:00.140 you back. Yeah, they shipped me back. I'm talking 00:24:00.140 --> 00:24:03.019 about National Guard. I'm going to say this, 00:24:03.099 --> 00:24:05.259 you know, y 'all can cut it if you want to. I'm 00:24:05.259 --> 00:24:07.000 telling the guy, right? Really, I'm not really 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:09.099 taking any of this stuff seriously, but I know 00:24:09.099 --> 00:24:11.099 it's serious. I've never killed a person before, 00:24:11.299 --> 00:24:12.920 and most people know I've never even been in 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:14.420 a physical fight in my whole life. Your husband 00:24:14.420 --> 00:24:16.079 probably has more fighting than I have. Maybe 00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:19.349 you have. Yeah. I've been in five fights. My 00:24:19.349 --> 00:24:23.569 record is two, two, and one. Yeah, I have two 00:24:23.569 --> 00:24:26.930 to date. We both grew up in not the greatest. 00:24:27.809 --> 00:24:31.329 So the whole point is I didn't even have a context 00:24:31.329 --> 00:24:34.049 of really, you know, your parents can tell you. 00:24:34.269 --> 00:24:35.589 You know, like my parents, they told me I was 00:24:35.589 --> 00:24:37.150 beautiful. I was beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful 00:24:37.150 --> 00:24:38.990 because I wasn't beautiful. You're strong. You're 00:24:38.990 --> 00:24:40.410 strong. You're strong. If you don't feel strong, 00:24:40.470 --> 00:24:45.130 you're not strong. And so, man, they came and 00:24:45.130 --> 00:24:48.799 got me. two black officers, and, you know, they 00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:51.279 walk me out, let me kiss my mom. Then I knew 00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:53.039 I was going to go back. When we got in the car, 00:24:53.220 --> 00:24:56.960 he slammed the sheet back on my legs. Bam. I'm 00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.160 like, oh, you know I'm back here? When I got 00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:02.279 on the plane going to even South Carolina, I 00:25:02.279 --> 00:25:04.200 remember like this yesterday, I said, excuse 00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:05.940 me, sir, I have to use the restroom before I 00:25:05.940 --> 00:25:08.279 get on the plane. So they take me to a special, 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:10.319 you know, where the plane's about to fly off, 00:25:10.380 --> 00:25:13.059 a special spot. He said, Mr. Tubbs, I'm going 00:25:13.059 --> 00:25:15.329 to take your penis out. And you're going to use 00:25:15.329 --> 00:25:17.509 the restroom. After you use the restroom, you're 00:25:17.509 --> 00:25:19.390 going to let me know, because I'm Shackle. And 00:25:19.390 --> 00:25:21.250 I'm going to shake you three times. And I'm going 00:25:21.250 --> 00:25:22.490 to put it back, and we're going to zip it up, 00:25:22.509 --> 00:25:24.849 and we're going to put you on this plane. That's 00:25:24.849 --> 00:25:26.890 how I knew these people wasn't playing. What? 00:25:27.269 --> 00:25:29.569 A dude with a gun up over me? Did you just like 00:25:29.569 --> 00:25:34.069 this? When that happened, and, you know, that's 00:25:34.069 --> 00:25:36.230 when I started, like, you know, ain't nobody 00:25:36.230 --> 00:25:38.150 touching me. I'm up here. I was, like, one or 00:25:38.150 --> 00:25:42.119 two. And so when he, you know, I use the ref, 00:25:42.180 --> 00:25:43.460 I'm looking at him, I'm looking at everything. 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:47.700 I'm like, these people crazy. Wow. One, two, 00:25:47.859 --> 00:25:50.859 three, whoop, you good? Good. Zip, bump, take 00:25:50.859 --> 00:25:53.819 it. And then I remember when they put me on the 00:25:53.819 --> 00:25:56.680 plane, the plane was full. And I remember how 00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:59.819 people was clutching. Is this Con Air or is this 00:25:59.819 --> 00:26:01.420 like a commercial flight? No, this is a commercial 00:26:01.420 --> 00:26:05.240 flight. Yeah. And I seen how mothers was looking, 00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:09.200 grabbing their children. And I was like. And 00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:13.559 that did it. It was like, these people think 00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:16.480 I'm like an animal, a terrorist, like I'm a horrible. 00:26:17.180 --> 00:26:19.420 You know, in my whole life. So they took you 00:26:19.420 --> 00:26:21.480 on the plane in front of everybody? Everybody. 00:26:21.500 --> 00:26:25.420 They had the National Guard all lined up. Because 00:26:25.420 --> 00:26:28.279 I asked them. I said, what's going on? Like, 00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:30.819 the president here? The governor here? He said, 00:26:30.859 --> 00:26:35.119 he looked at me. He said, this is for you. Brother, 00:26:35.259 --> 00:26:37.940 you're big time now. Is this one of your lowest? 00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:42.240 moments in life possibly or did it it's the lowest 00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:45.640 moment in my life when i was convicted and i 00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:55.380 heard my uh heard my mother and family you know 00:26:55.380 --> 00:27:00.519 i'm their son and the first born male on both 00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.619 sides of my family i'm the planned one you know 00:27:04.619 --> 00:27:11.809 and so uh So much was invested in me. And, you 00:27:11.809 --> 00:27:14.769 know, these were my friends. But I wasn't in 00:27:14.769 --> 00:27:16.829 the house during the murders. I didn't kill those 00:27:16.829 --> 00:27:19.910 people. I didn't participate in that that way. 00:27:19.950 --> 00:27:23.250 So to find myself and to hear what they're saying 00:27:23.250 --> 00:27:27.289 about me, super predator, psychopathic, sociopath, 00:27:27.630 --> 00:27:29.549 you know, they got to put all the language on 00:27:29.549 --> 00:27:32.910 it to erase you. He can't be a human. We can't 00:27:32.910 --> 00:27:35.289 give a 20 -year -old human this amount of time. 00:27:35.690 --> 00:27:38.069 and send him to the worst prisons in the world 00:27:38.069 --> 00:27:42.789 if there's some redemptive qualities. So, clinically. 00:27:43.750 --> 00:27:45.809 And this is why, you know, I'm going to jump 00:27:45.809 --> 00:27:49.730 a little bit. When I study, I didn't even study. 00:27:49.829 --> 00:27:53.250 I just looked you all up, and I got it immediately. 00:27:53.529 --> 00:27:56.789 I found you. I find you squabbling against the 00:27:56.789 --> 00:27:58.950 whole system that's trying to get us to this. 00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.299 I got it then. That's why I got you. It was a 00:28:02.299 --> 00:28:05.539 dynamo. And then him was when y 'all first met. 00:28:06.200 --> 00:28:08.539 That's why I already figured it out. You know, 00:28:08.660 --> 00:28:10.819 being in those situations. You saw the video 00:28:10.819 --> 00:28:14.859 of our proposal? Not the proposal, but apparently 00:28:14.859 --> 00:28:17.900 he said you were sick to some extent. And y 'all 00:28:17.900 --> 00:28:20.839 are kicking it or something. And you sneezed 00:28:20.839 --> 00:28:22.559 or coughed. He said something. Oh, I told you. 00:28:23.059 --> 00:28:26.599 What's that? Yeah. Our second date when you're 00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:30.170 there sick as a dog. And I looked in your face 00:28:30.170 --> 00:28:32.470 and I said, I love you. And you're like, what? 00:28:32.609 --> 00:28:38.730 I was like, what'd you say? I'm like, uh. We're 00:28:38.730 --> 00:28:43.170 all about love. So that's when. Because I knew 00:28:43.170 --> 00:28:45.769 my brother who came with me, Robbie, was like, 00:28:45.829 --> 00:28:47.410 okay, who are these people who's inviting you 00:28:47.410 --> 00:28:49.470 and what's going on? And so normally I don't, 00:28:49.470 --> 00:28:51.950 you know, I don't research nobody. The Spirit 00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:53.769 going to tell me what's going on. And I want 00:28:53.769 --> 00:28:56.210 to be as candid and authentic and real as possible. 00:28:56.210 --> 00:28:59.269 If not, I don't need to be here. Seriously. And 00:28:59.269 --> 00:29:03.710 so as I looked up the name, I seen you fighting 00:29:03.710 --> 00:29:07.450 over your school. And I'm fighting for my school 00:29:07.450 --> 00:29:09.849 right now. So I got that immediately. I didn't 00:29:09.849 --> 00:29:11.549 have to look no more. So I said, OK, what's the 00:29:11.549 --> 00:29:15.470 spirit of him? And David. His name is David, 00:29:15.609 --> 00:29:18.250 which is my favorite name, Dawith, which is the 00:29:18.250 --> 00:29:23.250 beloved of God. And Layla. Layla's my best friend 00:29:23.250 --> 00:29:26.769 tonight. She's always been for me. In prison, 00:29:26.869 --> 00:29:29.390 the days are rough. But the nights are sweet. 00:29:29.730 --> 00:29:31.930 And that's where we escape. And so when they 00:29:31.930 --> 00:29:34.089 say, yeah, me and my wife, name is Layla. I'm 00:29:34.089 --> 00:29:36.539 like, man, love and name it. This is a low brainer, 00:29:36.579 --> 00:29:39.740 man. These are my folks. And so, yeah, the roughest 00:29:39.740 --> 00:29:42.519 time, the lowest moment is not all the isolation 00:29:42.519 --> 00:29:45.920 in the cells and, you know, watching people be 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:48.720 harmed. And not just the guards harming people. 00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:51.960 You know, you have to be hurt to hurt people. 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:55.420 Yeah. You know, you can't be a whole person and 00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:57.700 a real person. You know, something you said in 00:29:57.700 --> 00:30:03.160 your morning podcast really resonated very deeply 00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:07.690 with me is that, Like yourself, I always look 00:30:07.690 --> 00:30:10.509 within, and it was my contribution. What did 00:30:10.509 --> 00:30:14.109 I do to get myself into this situation in the 00:30:14.109 --> 00:30:16.369 first place? Or why is God taking you there? 00:30:17.029 --> 00:30:19.390 Sometimes it's not your control or power, it's 00:30:19.390 --> 00:30:21.750 just God going, it's time to go, like, I need 00:30:21.750 --> 00:30:25.109 you for this mission. Yes, but in this case... 00:30:25.109 --> 00:30:27.150 But it can't be a combination of both. In this 00:30:27.150 --> 00:30:30.549 case, you were like, you owned that you were 00:30:30.549 --> 00:30:35.240 a disconnected individual, which... It gravitated 00:30:35.240 --> 00:30:38.480 you or gravitated those friends of yours into 00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:41.420 your life and got you into the mix that maybe 00:30:41.420 --> 00:30:44.660 didn't serve you particularly well. Right, right. 00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:51.619 And draw, too. And not to dehumanize or demonize 00:30:51.619 --> 00:30:56.740 or erase my friends. Sociology is one of my favorite 00:30:56.740 --> 00:30:58.960 subjects, not because of sociology. It gives 00:30:58.960 --> 00:31:00.960 you terminology so you can talk to people without 00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:03.950 this being a five -hour podcast. There's contexts 00:31:03.950 --> 00:31:08.970 in the world. At that time, LAPD, no disrespect, 00:31:09.190 --> 00:31:13.029 guys, they was driving four in a car. Do you 00:31:13.029 --> 00:31:15.569 know what that means? To us, you're not getting 00:31:15.569 --> 00:31:18.170 arrested. That means they're going to kill you. 00:31:18.329 --> 00:31:21.150 No, they're going to kill you. They're going 00:31:21.150 --> 00:31:24.289 to hurt you. They're going to F you up. Just 00:31:24.289 --> 00:31:25.970 imagine, with two police in the car, there's 00:31:25.970 --> 00:31:27.470 a potential you get arrested, they put you in, 00:31:27.650 --> 00:31:34.259 and you go to jail. In 1990... 91, when I went 00:31:34.259 --> 00:31:41.579 to jail, that it was a war against black and 00:31:41.579 --> 00:31:44.079 brown males and it's the police. South Central, 00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:48.160 LA, all that. LA. Watts. Watts, LA, Compton. 00:31:48.359 --> 00:31:51.000 Yeah. You know, Long Beach, wherever there was 00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:53.420 black. The time of the super predator, crack 00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:56.359 cocaine has came. Boys in the hood. All that 00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:59.769 kind of vibe was going on. Yeah. So now. Our 00:31:59.769 --> 00:32:03.069 position is kill to be killed. You know, so a 00:32:03.069 --> 00:32:05.670 person who, even in prison, most people who harm 00:32:05.670 --> 00:32:07.390 people in prison, it's not that you want to harm 00:32:07.390 --> 00:32:10.170 somebody. They're coming to stab you. So what 00:32:10.170 --> 00:32:12.549 you going to do? Oh, I'm peaceful. I'm cool. 00:32:12.849 --> 00:32:15.849 No, bro. You're going to take that knife, a can 00:32:15.849 --> 00:32:17.730 of tuna, and put it in a sock, and you're going 00:32:17.730 --> 00:32:19.430 to defend yourself. Both of y 'all are going 00:32:19.430 --> 00:32:21.769 to get rolled up. And if you're killing, you're 00:32:21.769 --> 00:32:24.750 going to kill somebody else in prison. So it's 00:32:24.750 --> 00:32:28.890 the nature of the beast. That's what makes. The 00:32:28.890 --> 00:32:32.190 story that surrounded me so powerful, I had the 00:32:32.190 --> 00:32:34.150 potential and the ability to protect myself. 00:32:34.549 --> 00:32:37.809 Our father taught me how to fight, no, how to 00:32:37.809 --> 00:32:41.769 kill as a kid, protect the house, doorway, center 00:32:41.769 --> 00:32:47.410 mass, two, one. So to be able to take all of 00:32:47.410 --> 00:32:52.710 that training and experience and transform that 00:32:52.710 --> 00:32:55.630 into love. So now instead of taking two to your 00:32:55.630 --> 00:32:57.759 heart that way, I'm going to take two to your 00:32:57.759 --> 00:32:59.440 heart to know. They'll ever touch their head. 00:32:59.660 --> 00:33:01.680 You feel me? We can think about what I'm doing. 00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:05.319 You feel me? It's a transferable skill. So to 00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:09.440 the point. No, man. So to the point in what you're 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:13.519 asking about what took place with my co -defendants 00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:16.420 and where I was at, I was disconnected from my 00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:20.119 humanity because I'm living out my father's frustration 00:33:20.119 --> 00:33:24.690 with the 60s. Ah, COINTELPRO, the FBI, Hoover's 00:33:24.690 --> 00:33:27.470 campaign on killing his friends. They're coming 00:33:27.470 --> 00:33:28.529 through the door. They're coming through the 00:33:28.529 --> 00:33:29.809 door. Who's coming through the door, Dad? The 00:33:29.809 --> 00:33:32.529 FBI? I don't even know ABC, FBI. Who the fuck 00:33:32.529 --> 00:33:36.470 is the FBI? White people. White people. Who? 00:33:36.589 --> 00:33:38.750 These two right here? Which one? All of them. 00:33:38.789 --> 00:33:41.839 All of them. You feel me? That was your conditioning. 00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:44.740 That's the conditioning. And I don't blame him 00:33:44.740 --> 00:33:47.460 for, look what he came from in the 40s and 50s. 00:33:47.460 --> 00:33:51.299 And your grandpa. Grand generational harm and 00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:54.559 trauma. So he's doing the best he can at 23 years 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:58.660 old to 30 to prepare his son. So now when it 00:33:58.660 --> 00:34:01.579 comes down to the Crips or the Bloods or the 00:34:01.579 --> 00:34:03.900 Mexicans or the police hurting me, so I'm in 00:34:03.900 --> 00:34:06.500 the mentality, no, I will hurt you before you 00:34:06.500 --> 00:34:09.340 hurt me. That was the mentality. So I can see 00:34:09.340 --> 00:34:11.280 why me and my co -defendants are so wound up 00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:13.119 about hurting somebody who's claiming to hurt 00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:16.199 us. In this intent, there was no justice because 00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:17.659 I didn't hurt them people. I didn't do anything. 00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:20.519 So people will hear me speak about this story, 00:34:20.739 --> 00:34:22.940 this journey. Now, I was thoroughly disconnected 00:34:22.940 --> 00:34:25.820 from my humanity. I've totally been in that this 00:34:25.820 --> 00:34:28.780 is war and physical violence is the way. Why? 00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:30.599 Because they're shooting us and they're killing 00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:32.559 us and they're stumping us out. And they're not 00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:34.980 regarding my mama. They're not regarding my sister 00:34:34.980 --> 00:34:38.019 and my family. The sad part about it, when we 00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:40.360 act out violently, I'm not thinking about my 00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:42.980 mama. I'm not thinking about my sister, not along 00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:45.900 the person who I'm harming. And I speak in personal 00:34:45.900 --> 00:34:49.920 context, me. So with that being said, it wasn't 00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:53.840 until, to your question, when they hit me. I 00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:57.599 was like, ah. You don't even have a context of 00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:00.179 25 years when you're 20 years old. They offered 00:35:00.179 --> 00:35:02.960 me 25 years. I ain't been born to it. You don't 00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:06.980 even have a term or reference how long 25 years 00:35:06.980 --> 00:35:10.179 is. Yeah. Not a long life without the pastor. 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:12.199 You're going to die in prison. And it's not the 00:35:12.199 --> 00:35:15.980 dying in prison. It's the treatment. Yeah. And 00:35:15.980 --> 00:35:17.619 once the federal government said, yeah, stop 00:35:17.619 --> 00:35:20.340 killing them, then they started neglecting us. 00:35:20.380 --> 00:35:24.010 No toilet paper. No water. Your team was just 00:35:24.010 --> 00:35:26.389 looking. I'm like, yeah, Tobias is so mindful. 00:35:26.469 --> 00:35:28.449 When I poured the water into the beautiful glass, 00:35:28.750 --> 00:35:31.409 I'm looking at it. Because remember the time 00:35:31.409 --> 00:35:33.809 there was no water. Then you're going to drink 00:35:33.809 --> 00:35:38.570 out the toilet. Or you're going to die. So now 00:35:38.570 --> 00:35:42.289 look at me. I'm at the setness. Two or three 00:35:42.289 --> 00:35:44.710 different kind of waters to drink. Different 00:35:44.710 --> 00:35:49.469 glasses and cups, carrots. Lady Carol's. Yes. 00:35:50.250 --> 00:35:56.159 You feeling me? So this is neglect is worse than 00:35:56.159 --> 00:36:01.139 physical harm. Bones heal. Scars heal. But when 00:36:01.139 --> 00:36:04.159 you hurt people deeply emotionally and socially. 00:36:04.199 --> 00:36:06.079 Psychological warfare, that's what it is. It 00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:09.019 is the worst. So that was the main thing. It 00:36:09.019 --> 00:36:12.300 was the knowing that I didn't know the impact 00:36:12.300 --> 00:36:15.159 it had on my father. Because he always put up 00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:20.659 such a strong front point. So you became an awakened 00:36:20.659 --> 00:36:23.000 individual, awakened to your conditioning, awakened 00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:25.440 to your trauma. We know all too well for our 00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:29.340 own spiritual path, going to India and healing 00:36:29.340 --> 00:36:33.039 our traumas and so on. I'm sure you had these 00:36:33.039 --> 00:36:35.019 conversations with your father now. Recently. 00:36:36.380 --> 00:36:39.440 You see it as clearly as you do? My father said 00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:41.559 this is the greatest accomplishment. Because 00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:45.320 I really didn't know if he got it. Because still, 00:36:45.739 --> 00:36:49.559 you know, me and him didn't have... He comes 00:36:49.559 --> 00:36:53.960 to see me through enormous eyes. While you're 00:36:53.960 --> 00:36:56.260 in... Oh, yeah. My whole family stayed down for 00:36:56.260 --> 00:36:58.559 me. If that's one of my powers in prison, I have 00:36:58.559 --> 00:37:01.000 family. And my family became their family. They 00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:02.969 didn't have fathers. Did your mom move down too 00:37:02.969 --> 00:37:05.610 or no? No, she didn't move. She's from South 00:37:05.610 --> 00:37:09.849 Carolina. Oh, wow. My dad, I call him a stepdad 00:37:09.849 --> 00:37:13.650 for context, my father and my dad. Oh, I'm talking 00:37:13.650 --> 00:37:16.469 about, you know, a lot of time and energy, not 00:37:16.469 --> 00:37:19.969 only for my siblings and my cousins and everybody 00:37:19.969 --> 00:37:22.849 coming to see me and keeping me alive, they made 00:37:22.849 --> 00:37:25.750 sure that my nieces and nephews, my nieces and 00:37:25.750 --> 00:37:27.969 nephews treat me as if I was there because they 00:37:27.969 --> 00:37:30.449 kept me alive. That's beautiful. That's the whole 00:37:30.449 --> 00:37:32.969 thing. The honor about death is that you lived. 00:37:33.710 --> 00:37:36.309 And they were nurturing your soul. The whole 00:37:36.309 --> 00:37:38.969 time. That was something uniquely different. 00:37:39.050 --> 00:37:42.130 You had the others. That's what none of them 00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:44.510 did. They cut off. They were treated like a number. 00:37:44.730 --> 00:37:48.090 They wrote us a number. This is very interesting. 00:37:48.190 --> 00:37:51.909 Before I left out, I go to the cat team. I get 00:37:51.909 --> 00:37:54.630 the lady. They used to say, Tobias, 6 -0. Tub, 00:37:54.710 --> 00:37:57.630 6 -4. And then it was just 6 -4. So you go for 00:37:57.630 --> 00:38:02.469 my name. he raised to a number six four seven 00:38:02.469 --> 00:38:05.030 uh eight seven six four six four i probably never 00:38:05.030 --> 00:38:07.989 forget that number then she said oh mr tubbs 00:38:07.989 --> 00:38:12.369 you're a barcode they had a barcode and that 00:38:12.369 --> 00:38:16.750 was like a rough moment i'm erased from the culture 00:38:16.750 --> 00:38:22.449 i'm not only which is a saintly name in the Hebrew 00:38:22.449 --> 00:38:25.750 Jewish tradition. He's literally a saint, championing 00:38:25.750 --> 00:38:29.429 the cause of his father, the saint of reconciliation 00:38:29.429 --> 00:38:32.650 and healing, angelic double of Raphael. I'm talking 00:38:32.650 --> 00:38:34.550 about all this race. Your name is Norman Tobias. 00:38:35.550 --> 00:38:37.889 Tubbs, we're going to take your patriarchy, and 00:38:37.889 --> 00:38:41.969 your name is 876464, because they had A, B, C, 00:38:42.010 --> 00:38:47.239 D, E, and you're 7664. Now, no, we got something 00:38:47.239 --> 00:38:49.079 better than that. We done got so many people. 00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:53.539 We just going to make barcodes. And that's where. 00:38:53.800 --> 00:38:56.820 Where'd they put the barcode at? Oh, on the back, 00:38:56.820 --> 00:38:59.360 yeah. It was on your shirt? No, it's on your 00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:02.360 ID. So now they just scan the barcode and they 00:39:02.360 --> 00:39:04.059 know who you are. They know what's going on. 00:39:04.219 --> 00:39:06.679 You feel me? So we're talking about dealing with 00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:09.480 being erased and the council culture and how 00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:12.599 that feels. But what did you feel when you were 00:39:12.599 --> 00:39:16.300 sitting in the courtroom? Okay. And they announced 00:39:16.300 --> 00:39:20.159 the sentencing. I can't imagine it. For one, 00:39:21.280 --> 00:39:24.800 my father prepared me. See, preparation is everything. 00:39:26.539 --> 00:39:28.360 No, you're not going to understand when it's 00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:30.380 going on, but when it's going down, bro, those 00:39:30.380 --> 00:39:33.719 seeds open up. You know, seeds. I'm real big 00:39:33.719 --> 00:39:36.059 in pre -culture. You know, we're seeds. You know, 00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.219 we're the seeds of the stars. We are created 00:39:38.219 --> 00:39:41.260 from the crucible, the hearts of stars. You feel 00:39:41.260 --> 00:39:44.079 me? So stardust. All of us. Man, I love you. 00:39:45.099 --> 00:39:49.179 Love you too, Barry. So the seed grows in two 00:39:49.179 --> 00:39:54.880 ways. It takes roots and it sprouts. I know you 00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:58.480 are very deep in neurology. I knew this in my 00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:00.960 20s and for now, you know, so much scientific 00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:04.619 study on it, that the neurons of the heart are 00:40:04.619 --> 00:40:09.519 the most powerful. They're the largest. And so 00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:13.940 I seen a diagram. of them taking root inside 00:40:13.940 --> 00:40:16.659 of the gut's neuron. Now, all this gut health 00:40:16.659 --> 00:40:19.900 now, which people is figuring out. Now, then 00:40:19.900 --> 00:40:23.159 the most neurons is in, you know, the human brain. 00:40:23.500 --> 00:40:28.019 You feel me? So when you can line this up, then 00:40:28.019 --> 00:40:32.460 that is where the magic happens. So when I was 00:40:32.460 --> 00:40:35.699 sitting inside of the courtroom, by that time 00:40:35.699 --> 00:40:38.840 my father had prepared me, I'm having out -of 00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:42.800 -body experience. I'm not even there. Wow. To 00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:45.880 limit the trauma, what kept me pulling me back 00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:49.920 is my mama and my godmama and my daddy and my 00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:53.719 little brothers. And then my wife, she's deceased 00:40:53.719 --> 00:40:55.980 now. She died of a broken heart while I was in 00:40:55.980 --> 00:41:01.860 there. We know I came up with that stress causes 00:41:01.860 --> 00:41:05.079 cancer in women. I did this in 97. You asked 00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:06.719 me about my awakening in 97. I'm going to get 00:41:06.719 --> 00:41:11.190 to that. Why? Sister, I've always had... a gift, 00:41:11.349 --> 00:41:15.190 a talent. Whatever I focused on, and I didn't 00:41:15.190 --> 00:41:17.309 pay attention in school, not one day, I was able 00:41:17.309 --> 00:41:19.550 to get it. So with that being said, what kept 00:41:19.550 --> 00:41:23.190 me in the courtroom, and my whole life, I never 00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:25.809 wanted to be where I was. So if you're not cool 00:41:25.809 --> 00:41:27.719 with your skin, You know, you don't like how 00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:29.500 you look because your lips is like this or your 00:41:29.500 --> 00:41:31.960 skin is too dark or the guy's got curly hair, 00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:33.679 whatever. You know, you're always going to be 00:41:33.679 --> 00:41:36.539 somewhere else. Yeah. So now sitting at here 00:41:36.539 --> 00:41:38.340 and when you're throwing the book at me and you're 00:41:38.340 --> 00:41:40.539 calling me incorrigible and you're talking about 00:41:40.539 --> 00:41:42.940 lack of neuroplasticity, what are you even saying? 00:41:43.019 --> 00:41:46.320 What does incorrigible mean? What is... Are there 00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:49.659 like neuroplasticity and atavistic... What is 00:41:49.659 --> 00:41:52.000 atavism? I'm talking about, come on, this is 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:54.199 not even fair. I don't even know these words. 00:41:54.539 --> 00:41:59.440 So that's how I became a... an expert on neurology 00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:03.460 and atavism and you know I debunked what allowed 00:42:03.460 --> 00:42:07.760 them to do this to us like 15 years inside my 00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:09.739 sentence and then before I got out I ain't gonna 00:42:09.739 --> 00:42:11.980 say his name the one who came up with it sold 00:42:11.980 --> 00:42:16.539 it bipartisan to two presidents a Republican 00:42:16.539 --> 00:42:19.679 and a Democrat and they ran with it as two families 00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:23.360 and they created The new Jim Crow, the era of 00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:27.260 mass incarceration, and they made trillions off 00:42:27.260 --> 00:42:33.239 of it. I know what's up. It was the point that 00:42:33.239 --> 00:42:35.920 I was the last person about to get married. That's 00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:40.099 another part of the inhumanity of how we incarcerate 00:42:40.099 --> 00:42:44.920 people. There's no contact. The first time I 00:42:44.920 --> 00:42:49.400 see your husband, I shake his hand. I want to 00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:53.099 hug you. For you even not considering me, not 00:42:53.099 --> 00:42:56.659 just as people. You know, y 'all are people. 00:42:56.820 --> 00:43:00.219 I see you. You know, all the rest is going to 00:43:00.219 --> 00:43:01.659 stay here and somebody else is going to have 00:43:01.659 --> 00:43:06.460 it. I wanted to make sure that he was able, willing 00:43:06.460 --> 00:43:10.840 to hug me. So I hugged him. If two neurons create 00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:13.219 consciousness. He's very huggable. Yes. Oh, he's 00:43:13.219 --> 00:43:18.179 sweet, too. He's so cute. Your two neurons create 00:43:18.179 --> 00:43:22.619 consciousness. What do we create? I don't know 00:43:22.619 --> 00:43:24.460 if you noticed this, but at our school, everybody's 00:43:24.460 --> 00:43:26.099 always hugging. Did you notice that when you 00:43:26.099 --> 00:43:28.500 went home? No, yes. You saw the school earlier 00:43:28.500 --> 00:43:31.500 today. Yeah, I came to the school today. Did 00:43:31.500 --> 00:43:35.179 you see all the hugs? The hugs amongst Josh and 00:43:35.179 --> 00:43:37.980 them, I wasn't going to assume, you know, I'm 00:43:37.980 --> 00:43:39.820 just coming to the place. Oh, no, it's a very 00:43:39.820 --> 00:43:42.659 personal experience. Everybody's hugging. It's 00:43:42.659 --> 00:43:44.820 a very intentional. We've had teachers quit before 00:43:44.820 --> 00:43:46.599 because they're like, there's too much hugging, 00:43:46.659 --> 00:43:50.159 and I'm not used to it. Because in some schools, 00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:52.880 they don't allow it. Side hug, maybe at the moment. 00:43:52.980 --> 00:43:56.739 You are not allowed to hug your coworkers because 00:43:56.739 --> 00:44:00.079 you might call HR. You're afraid that your coworker 00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:02.699 might say it's harassment. You can't hug the 00:44:02.699 --> 00:44:06.639 hit. I was the first person, in my experience, 00:44:06.940 --> 00:44:10.500 in Calabasas State Prison, 130 degrees. It's 00:44:10.500 --> 00:44:13.579 called Death Valley. The 23rd sum is my favorite 00:44:13.579 --> 00:44:16.320 sum. Yes, my father was a Muslim revolutionist. 00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:19.079 My mother and my stepdad built churches. So, 00:44:19.079 --> 00:44:21.340 and then my name is Tobiah, so we can't get away 00:44:21.340 --> 00:44:25.960 from it. You read Hebrew just like I read Arabic 00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:28.980 and African scrolls. But the 23rd Psalm was my 00:44:28.980 --> 00:44:31.079 favorite Psalm. I needed tutoring when I was 00:44:31.079 --> 00:44:33.840 a child because I tapped out of school very early. 00:44:33.980 --> 00:44:37.340 You know, it's just a lot was going on. And so 00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:40.460 my parents gave me a tutor. These two twins, 00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:43.019 beautiful young ladies, I know how to power beauty 00:44:43.019 --> 00:44:46.619 to open you up. And they said, Tobiah's pink. 00:44:47.050 --> 00:44:50.489 A psalms to learn. And the psalms picked me. 00:44:51.190 --> 00:44:57.449 23, 23rd psalms. So, and it was the 23rd psalm. 00:44:57.550 --> 00:44:59.449 And she said, how long do you think for you to 00:44:59.449 --> 00:45:02.329 learn it? I said, I can learn in like five minutes. 00:45:02.429 --> 00:45:06.710 She said, five minutes? So, yeah. She said, let 00:45:06.710 --> 00:45:10.789 us see. How old are you? 13. Oh, wow. 12. It's 00:45:10.789 --> 00:45:13.230 Daniel and Daniel. They was two twins. And they 00:45:13.230 --> 00:45:16.329 went to the college. And they showed me attention. 00:45:17.110 --> 00:45:19.889 That's what it was. I don't have a problem learning 00:45:19.889 --> 00:45:22.610 anything. I'm not getting the proper stimulation. 00:45:24.150 --> 00:45:26.949 Okay, let's take me back to your sitting in the 00:45:26.949 --> 00:45:31.530 courtroom. I waited to get that. Sitting in the 00:45:31.530 --> 00:45:34.389 courtroom. They give you each sentence at the 00:45:34.389 --> 00:45:38.389 same time? We call it bole. Consecutive and concurrent. 00:45:38.969 --> 00:45:42.269 That means I only have one life without sentence. 00:45:42.369 --> 00:45:44.849 If you beat that, you beat all of them. And the 00:45:44.849 --> 00:45:47.590 judge says, and this is why. I didn't take things 00:45:47.590 --> 00:45:50.449 seriously. Oh, Mr. Tubbs, you're going to win 00:45:50.449 --> 00:45:56.530 anyway. On appeal. So I married my woman on that, 00:45:56.650 --> 00:46:00.010 Starice Najima Sar. I love you. See you in the 00:46:00.010 --> 00:46:01.989 bar and bar. I married her on that. See, I'm 00:46:01.989 --> 00:46:04.269 going to get out in three years. In three years. 00:46:04.550 --> 00:46:08.030 The jury said I'm going to get out. The jury 00:46:08.030 --> 00:46:11.469 said it. But they ran this concurrent, which 00:46:11.469 --> 00:46:14.230 we call bow -legged. which means they have to, 00:46:14.349 --> 00:46:17.130 if they did win the court, you have to beat all 00:46:17.130 --> 00:46:20.849 of them. So I didn't accept none of that in my 00:46:20.849 --> 00:46:23.849 spirit. I didn't even accept it. I wasn't even, 00:46:23.889 --> 00:46:26.090 I was listening because you could tell because 00:46:26.090 --> 00:46:28.949 I got all the scientific jargon that justified 00:46:28.949 --> 00:46:32.909 the sentence. It's not the case itself. It's 00:46:32.909 --> 00:46:37.929 how psychology and psychiatry puts down certain 00:46:37.929 --> 00:46:42.820 words that Demonize and remove your humanity 00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:47.059 to justify the sentence and the treatment. So 00:46:47.059 --> 00:46:49.619 I learned all that. The whole time I was in prison, 00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:52.699 the elders, you can pray all day and be right 00:46:52.699 --> 00:46:54.679 here talking on this yard. If you don't go to 00:46:54.679 --> 00:46:56.119 that law library, you're going to stand here 00:46:56.119 --> 00:46:59.119 forever. I was the only person telling people 00:46:59.119 --> 00:47:01.719 that we're going to get out. Nobody gets out. 00:47:02.179 --> 00:47:05.139 Well, nobody does, but somebody is. And that 00:47:05.139 --> 00:47:06.820 somebody's going to be me. They thought I was 00:47:06.820 --> 00:47:09.239 crazy until now I'm a genius. So the whole point 00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:11.739 of that is, I never accepted it in my spirit. 00:47:11.900 --> 00:47:15.280 I never accepted the time. And you were manifesting 00:47:15.280 --> 00:47:19.019 from day one to be free, to be out of there. 00:47:19.219 --> 00:47:22.539 My father said... Sounds like you felt your soul 00:47:22.539 --> 00:47:24.940 was free no matter what. They were never able 00:47:24.940 --> 00:47:27.639 to... They saw I came later. No, no, no. No, 00:47:27.679 --> 00:47:32.840 no, no, no, no, no, no. The power to just be... 00:47:32.840 --> 00:47:40.929 Just... Belief. Conviction and gratitude. If 00:47:40.929 --> 00:47:42.849 your audience can take anything, and this is 00:47:42.849 --> 00:47:45.449 scientifically proven now. Belief is strong on 00:47:45.449 --> 00:47:49.869 the DNA. The DNA responds to belief. Especially 00:47:49.869 --> 00:47:52.070 a belief in a higher power. They don't have to 00:47:52.070 --> 00:47:54.210 be by no conventional God name. There's something 00:47:54.210 --> 00:47:56.750 higher than myself. Okay, I'm moving with the 00:47:56.750 --> 00:48:00.630 stars. I'm stardust. Every element that's in 00:48:00.630 --> 00:48:04.550 this megatar that's in me. Come on. That's what 00:48:04.550 --> 00:48:08.000 I was on as a kid. And I get energized. I feel 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:11.840 it. I can do anything. Table. You just feel powerful. 00:48:12.059 --> 00:48:13.920 But you got to control it. Because they're looking 00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:16.519 for that. They're looking to hurt that. But you 00:48:16.519 --> 00:48:20.420 have to pass it on. Stars pass on light, energy, 00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:24.000 radiation. He said, what resonated with me? Oh, 00:48:24.019 --> 00:48:25.000 now he's talking about the law of resonance. 00:48:25.519 --> 00:48:27.840 Okay, boom. Then my whole brain goes on that. 00:48:28.079 --> 00:48:30.960 I listen. Because I had a father who was a war 00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:34.409 general. So I had to listen. and so it's not 00:48:34.409 --> 00:48:37.909 that i ever accepted it i didn't i was trying 00:48:37.909 --> 00:48:42.050 to get married so that three years in the middleton 00:48:42.050 --> 00:48:46.230 people's desert i have human contact with a woman 00:48:46.230 --> 00:48:51.690 sh i'm with this nasty and toxic toxic linear 00:48:51.690 --> 00:48:55.090 toxic whatever toxicity and all that no i i've 00:48:55.090 --> 00:49:00.010 lived there be in a prison with forty males and 00:49:02.539 --> 00:49:05.119 The ones with the guns are the law enforcement. 00:49:05.820 --> 00:49:08.760 And they got the sniper locks. And a lot of them 00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:12.219 are veterans. They just came from war. And then 00:49:12.219 --> 00:49:14.099 you got us who've been fighting in the streets. 00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:21.039 War zone. So now I'm like, I need to get married 00:49:21.039 --> 00:49:24.300 so I can have someone to hold my hand. So I can 00:49:24.300 --> 00:49:27.059 have somebody to rub my face and say that I'm 00:49:27.059 --> 00:49:30.579 sweet and pull me on a visit. Somebody who I 00:49:30.579 --> 00:49:34.050 can talk to. And at that time, Starise Williams. 00:49:35.070 --> 00:49:37.510 Starise Virginia Williams. I'm going to say her 00:49:37.510 --> 00:49:42.469 whole name. She... Oh, God, rest her soul. She's 00:49:42.469 --> 00:49:45.869 with me now. So, energy never dies. It only goes 00:49:45.869 --> 00:49:49.130 to different dimensions. How many years were 00:49:49.130 --> 00:49:51.329 you guys married before she passed? Was she young? 00:49:51.809 --> 00:49:58.230 27. 27. See, she died later on, but when they 00:49:58.230 --> 00:50:00.409 took the conjugal visits, because they said... 00:50:01.019 --> 00:50:03.460 never not human so they don't need to be procreating 00:50:03.460 --> 00:50:06.119 they don't need to be having a beautiful woman 00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:09.800 come talking to them and so they took it and 00:50:09.800 --> 00:50:20.860 i seen her decline sorry yeah you know you can 00:50:20.860 --> 00:50:25.619 be you know strong and firm as a mountain you 00:50:25.619 --> 00:50:27.860 can glow like the moon you can shine and radiate 00:50:27.860 --> 00:50:31.440 like sun You can give life like the air, man. 00:50:32.699 --> 00:50:35.340 When somebody doesn't have the will to live and 00:50:35.340 --> 00:50:39.599 to fight. And I seen it on our last visit. I'm 00:50:39.599 --> 00:50:41.619 trying to tell her, you know. The same way I 00:50:41.619 --> 00:50:44.139 touch you all, you know. I may touch your hand. 00:50:44.199 --> 00:50:48.519 I touch your husband's chest. And I knew it was 00:50:48.519 --> 00:50:50.739 going to attack her two forms of cancer. Her 00:50:50.739 --> 00:50:53.900 uterus and her breast. She won the uterus. But 00:50:53.900 --> 00:50:56.239 she didn't have the will to fight. The breast, 00:50:56.260 --> 00:50:58.769 but it's the womb. and the nurturing that was 00:50:58.769 --> 00:51:02.829 being attacked. And so when her sister, you know, 00:51:02.829 --> 00:51:05.349 my little raw dog, Precious, she said, Tobias, 00:51:05.389 --> 00:51:09.349 please let her go. She's lost her mind. She's 00:51:09.349 --> 00:51:13.750 lost her will to live. Her hair started falling 00:51:13.750 --> 00:51:18.690 off. She was stressed. So we've gone through 00:51:18.690 --> 00:51:21.909 our own journeys of cancellation, as you know. 00:51:22.130 --> 00:51:25.489 And it's not just about us. We leave an impact 00:51:25.489 --> 00:51:28.039 on those around us, too. Our friends and our 00:51:28.039 --> 00:51:31.340 family, some of them stay with us, some of them 00:51:31.340 --> 00:51:34.659 leave with us. The experience is just as badly 00:51:34.659 --> 00:51:39.360 as we do. It is. Was she the only one in your 00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:43.119 life who was impacted? I mean, your mom and your 00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:47.119 father and sisters. Community. You know, you 00:51:47.119 --> 00:51:52.119 never, you don't, you know, and not just in my 00:51:52.119 --> 00:51:56.639 situation, and this is, how does a seven to... 00:51:56.989 --> 00:52:01.070 21 -year -old, really listen. And I don't know 00:52:01.070 --> 00:52:04.449 if life or God set it up. Your prefrontal lobe 00:52:04.449 --> 00:52:08.809 ain't even a prefrontal lobe till 25. For men, 00:52:08.869 --> 00:52:11.789 right? Right. Okay, that's one. That just means 00:52:11.789 --> 00:52:15.289 you have the machinery. And, you know, I became 00:52:15.289 --> 00:52:18.750 an expert on this because I have to prove to 00:52:18.750 --> 00:52:22.489 myself and the world that I have neuroflasticity. 00:52:22.489 --> 00:52:26.690 What does that mean? That I can read. Know myself, 00:52:26.849 --> 00:52:29.670 I can rebuild again. Same way you tear down a 00:52:29.670 --> 00:52:32.829 house and you build another one. I can rewire 00:52:32.829 --> 00:52:35.969 myself. And I'm so powerful in rewiring myself, 00:52:36.150 --> 00:52:38.349 I can show other people how to rewire themselves. 00:52:38.769 --> 00:52:41.269 That's powerful. And in fact, we're going to 00:52:41.269 --> 00:52:43.769 mirror Neuron. Were you studying Joe Dispenza 00:52:43.769 --> 00:52:46.150 in it? What, huh? Were you studying Joe Dispenza? 00:52:46.170 --> 00:52:48.150 I ran out of those books. No? Because it's a 00:52:48.150 --> 00:52:52.550 very powerful study. Very enlightened. But you 00:52:52.550 --> 00:52:55.110 started studying this in prison. How to rely 00:52:55.110 --> 00:52:57.329 on your mother. I can't even say it. Oh, it is 00:52:57.329 --> 00:53:03.269 from your dad. My father planted the seeds. I 00:53:03.269 --> 00:53:10.969 believe. Belief. Conviction. Gratitude. I believe 00:53:10.969 --> 00:53:16.969 that the universe is a book. And she is preserved. 00:53:17.070 --> 00:53:20.809 I call her grandmother. Mother Earth, the universe's 00:53:20.809 --> 00:53:22.789 grandmother, the metaverse's great -grandmother. 00:53:23.710 --> 00:53:26.170 I believe that every thought, every emotion, 00:53:26.309 --> 00:53:30.949 every gesture is preserved on the canvas of the 00:53:30.949 --> 00:53:35.670 universe. I also believe once we get past this 00:53:35.670 --> 00:53:42.170 physical body that you can tap in to that record 00:53:42.170 --> 00:53:44.449 that's grown. It's like quantum entanglement. 00:53:44.829 --> 00:53:51.130 It doesn't matter how far you feel that you are 00:53:51.130 --> 00:53:57.079 from. your ancestors, your family, you're not. 00:53:59.980 --> 00:54:05.039 It's not even, it's a fabric. It's a cosmic fabric 00:54:05.039 --> 00:54:10.159 in which everything is connected to. So it moves 00:54:10.159 --> 00:54:13.420 faster than the speed of light because light 00:54:13.420 --> 00:54:15.380 has to travel. There's no one out to travel. 00:54:15.579 --> 00:54:18.480 Boom. And so anything that I ever think about. 00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:21.659 I have to filter it through my humanity. I have 00:54:21.659 --> 00:54:24.639 to filter it through this physical body. But 00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:27.519 everything I ever thought about is the problem 00:54:27.519 --> 00:54:31.699 I had was articulating it to who's going to listen. 00:54:31.900 --> 00:54:34.840 You know, the average brother in prison, you 00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:39.320 know, no disrespect to them. Ninth grade education 00:54:39.320 --> 00:54:43.719 with a 15 -year -old emotional equations. So 00:54:43.719 --> 00:54:46.440 here I am getting these downloads through... 00:54:46.840 --> 00:54:49.659 The Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the 00:54:49.659 --> 00:54:52.659 dead streets. I was reading the Sanskrit, Buddha, 00:54:52.900 --> 00:54:57.079 Krishna. These are my dudes, you know. So that's 00:54:57.079 --> 00:54:59.639 what was teaching me. Now, the articulation of 00:54:59.639 --> 00:55:01.239 the science, it wasn't later on until I went 00:55:01.239 --> 00:55:03.940 to other prisons when I got books. Then I could 00:55:03.940 --> 00:55:05.920 speak scientifically. So people don't think, 00:55:06.039 --> 00:55:09.500 oh, that's ancient mythology. Oh, bro, you know, 00:55:09.519 --> 00:55:11.699 you're not a pastor. You're not a rabbi. You're 00:55:11.699 --> 00:55:13.320 not there. Everybody's keeping telling me who 00:55:13.320 --> 00:55:17.619 I'm not. Who am I then? Who am I? So you were, 00:55:17.719 --> 00:55:21.659 you might have been physically erased and canceled. 00:55:22.320 --> 00:55:25.199 Spiritually, you were never erased. They can't. 00:55:25.219 --> 00:55:28.400 But never for a moment. Not one second. So you're 00:55:28.400 --> 00:55:32.179 one of the lucky ones. Brother, I am the lucky 00:55:32.179 --> 00:55:34.880 and fortunate one because when it was written 00:55:34.880 --> 00:55:37.880 for me for two, I had people who were very intentional 00:55:37.880 --> 00:55:41.599 in my life. How did I get here? How do I come 00:55:41.599 --> 00:55:44.760 and be blessed with this whole opportunity? You 00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:48.289 know. i'm a we're both total believers in that 00:55:48.289 --> 00:55:53.210 like i feel that we've been divinely guided even 00:55:53.210 --> 00:55:57.190 just how we met yeah you know on the vast internet 00:55:57.190 --> 00:56:02.289 you know on on max .com you know i'm in california 00:56:02.289 --> 00:56:05.670 he's in new york like i i felt from the moment 00:56:05.670 --> 00:56:09.570 like god put us together unknown and i would 00:56:09.570 --> 00:56:11.750 tell him even when we first met because when 00:56:11.750 --> 00:56:16.690 we first met he didn't have you know You know, 00:56:16.789 --> 00:56:19.469 we didn't have much at all. We both are very 00:56:19.469 --> 00:56:23.010 scrappy and he was starting a great business, 00:56:23.090 --> 00:56:26.090 but it hadn't kicked off, you know, yet. And 00:56:26.090 --> 00:56:29.250 I was, you know, I had my own company and, you 00:56:29.250 --> 00:56:31.449 know, and I just finished getting my MBA. So 00:56:31.449 --> 00:56:35.670 I had $100 ,000 in student loans. But I just 00:56:35.670 --> 00:56:38.110 felt, I said, I would say to him, I feel like 00:56:38.110 --> 00:56:42.949 we're divinely guided for bigger purpose. I don't 00:56:42.949 --> 00:56:46.079 know what it is yet. But I feel we're here to 00:56:46.079 --> 00:56:50.000 make this world a better place. Yes. And we can 00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:53.780 do it separately. But combined, the power is 00:56:53.780 --> 00:56:56.340 so much greater. And I remember I would tell 00:56:56.340 --> 00:56:58.579 you that, honey. Yes. I would tell you that. 00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:00.119 And he'd look at me like I'm crazy. You know, 00:57:00.219 --> 00:57:01.880 like, what's this crazy girl talking about? Her 00:57:01.880 --> 00:57:05.619 journey is just a remarkable journey of ups and 00:57:05.619 --> 00:57:09.000 downs, struggles, kick to the curb, all kinds 00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:12.900 of stuff. And yet. We believe, I believe, and 00:57:12.900 --> 00:57:15.139 maybe it takes me a little longer than her to 00:57:15.139 --> 00:57:17.099 realize, you know what, this is exactly the way 00:57:17.099 --> 00:57:19.079 it's supposed to be. This is going down exactly. 00:57:19.280 --> 00:57:22.239 There are no mistakes. Perfect. Yes, perfect. 00:57:22.300 --> 00:57:25.320 All the time. Every moment. Well, you had researched 00:57:25.320 --> 00:57:29.639 about me, about the fight. I mean, it was hard. 00:57:30.079 --> 00:57:35.300 You know, it was, you know, you talk about you 00:57:35.300 --> 00:57:42.219 can be physically incarcerated, right? Or you 00:57:42.219 --> 00:57:46.159 could be imprisoned by yourself. I got you. You 00:57:46.159 --> 00:57:50.099 know, and I will say that when we sold our company 00:57:50.099 --> 00:57:53.659 because we were still trapped in all the trauma 00:57:53.659 --> 00:57:56.599 of our childhood that we didn't evolve our soul 00:57:56.599 --> 00:58:00.980 and we didn't, you know, we weren't free. We 00:58:00.980 --> 00:58:04.880 were prisoners of this physical being until we 00:58:04.880 --> 00:58:08.599 went to India and learned how to free that. I 00:58:08.599 --> 00:58:11.900 love you. You see? I said, this thing is both 00:58:11.900 --> 00:58:15.639 of them. No, and we had this happen to love. 00:58:16.019 --> 00:58:19.320 Yes. Yeah, I say this. I said, I've met more 00:58:19.320 --> 00:58:21.699 people who are in prison than I met that was 00:58:21.699 --> 00:58:24.900 incarcerated. Yeah. I met more people that are 00:58:24.900 --> 00:58:27.099 in prison. Incarceration just means my physical 00:58:27.099 --> 00:58:29.000 body was locked in a place I didn't want it to 00:58:29.000 --> 00:58:30.639 be. It doesn't matter how much money you have. 00:58:30.800 --> 00:58:34.360 In prison? Oh, that's a whole nother thing. And 00:58:34.360 --> 00:58:36.400 I said, I met more people out here in prison. 00:58:36.659 --> 00:58:39.139 Yeah. And that's one thing that... And they don't 00:58:39.139 --> 00:58:42.219 see it. That's what locks them up more. Like, 00:58:42.219 --> 00:58:44.619 you know, he was 41 and he had a heart attack. 00:58:44.739 --> 00:58:48.719 Yes. Right? I was... 41. I was, I don't know, 00:58:48.780 --> 00:58:51.800 35, 36. Constant chest pains because, you know, 00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:54.980 I had anger issues and I had anxiety. You know, 00:58:54.980 --> 00:58:56.739 and we didn't know... She brought her stepfather. 00:58:57.780 --> 00:59:00.320 We've had... Look, we're able to put away, with 00:59:00.320 --> 00:59:04.570 all due respect, but... My background, poverty, 00:59:04.989 --> 00:59:09.570 suicidal behavior, terminal illness, bullying, 00:59:09.949 --> 00:59:13.849 verbal abuse, you know, and hers is pretty much, 00:59:13.909 --> 00:59:16.670 we talk about who's got the worst upbringing 00:59:16.670 --> 00:59:20.309 and it's pretty close. But what we did is we 00:59:20.309 --> 00:59:23.250 powered through it. You know, we're like, okay, 00:59:23.429 --> 00:59:26.250 yeah, our childhood was, we're just going to 00:59:26.250 --> 00:59:28.010 figure out how to make a lot of money and that's 00:59:28.010 --> 00:59:30.420 going to erase it all. But it doesn't. Of course 00:59:30.420 --> 00:59:33.400 not. And what got me excited about you is that, 00:59:33.480 --> 00:59:35.619 like, you said something that was so beautiful. 00:59:35.659 --> 00:59:40.119 You said, I had to learn how to not stay in the 00:59:40.119 --> 00:59:43.539 past, not be focused on the future, but be right 00:59:43.539 --> 00:59:47.039 here in the present. And, you know, that's the 00:59:47.039 --> 00:59:48.940 foundation of what we're trying to teach these 00:59:48.940 --> 00:59:51.340 kids in school. And it wasn't until we learned 00:59:51.340 --> 00:59:55.960 that until we became free. It wasn't until we 00:59:55.960 --> 00:59:57.860 learned, and again, this was another reason I 00:59:57.860 --> 01:00:00.500 was so excited to meet you, is that you're sitting 01:00:00.500 --> 01:00:04.139 here talking about, I had a decision to make. 01:00:04.880 --> 01:00:09.920 Was I going to live my life angry and be a victim 01:00:09.920 --> 01:00:15.099 and blame? Or was I going to go, okay, God has 01:00:15.099 --> 01:00:18.099 taken me here for a reason. You want to be the 01:00:18.099 --> 01:00:21.619 light. And the joy. That's right. Yeah. There's 01:00:21.619 --> 01:00:24.659 a conscious decision. You got it. You made a 01:00:24.659 --> 01:00:27.360 conscious decision. Decision. We don't control 01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:30.780 circumstances. Right now, I agree. Anything can 01:00:30.780 --> 01:00:33.920 happen. What you do control is how you feel about 01:00:33.920 --> 01:00:37.019 it. That was my power. And then they start getting 01:00:37.019 --> 01:00:40.039 mad. Tell us what the f*** you smiling at. Oh, 01:00:40.139 --> 01:00:42.559 did I have to stop smiling because the police 01:00:42.559 --> 01:00:45.739 didn't want me smiling? Yeah. Because other people 01:00:45.739 --> 01:00:48.199 started smiling because that's the choice, bro. 01:00:48.460 --> 01:00:50.500 This is because he hits me or spits on me or 01:00:50.500 --> 01:00:53.000 curse me. You're not even affecting me. This 01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:55.760 is not me. When I was a kid, I thought it was 01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:58.800 me. But this is not me. So the point of being 01:00:58.800 --> 01:01:01.099 president in the moment. That's beautiful, though. 01:01:01.219 --> 01:01:04.420 Yes. Because, like, I tell our six -year -old 01:01:04.420 --> 01:01:05.960 and nine -year -old men, this is what our kids 01:01:05.960 --> 01:01:09.860 learn at school. Walk around and smile. Yes. 01:01:10.119 --> 01:01:14.139 And watch the reaction. It's powerful. It's powerful. 01:01:14.239 --> 01:01:18.340 powerful powerful say hi to somebody yes you 01:01:18.340 --> 01:01:20.440 know open the door for something yes engaged 01:01:20.440 --> 01:01:23.400 i mean and these are the things like you know 01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:25.840 this is what i feel like the foundation of every 01:01:25.840 --> 01:01:28.840 school should be yes i agree and it's why like 01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:31.280 parents are like it's so weird when i walk into 01:01:31.280 --> 01:01:32.840 your school it's there's something different 01:01:32.840 --> 01:01:34.579 about it i don't know what it is and then they 01:01:34.579 --> 01:01:38.619 realize everybody's happy but it's something 01:01:38.619 --> 01:01:41.619 that we have the ability to control so for you 01:01:43.369 --> 01:01:46.449 To sit there and realize everybody around you 01:01:46.449 --> 01:01:50.730 is angry and the system wants them to be angry. 01:01:50.730 --> 01:01:52.550 Because what happens when you're angry? Yeah, 01:01:52.550 --> 01:01:54.550 you can be easily influenced. You're totally 01:01:54.550 --> 01:01:56.610 easily influenced. You're controlled. Yeah, they 01:01:56.610 --> 01:01:58.230 call it gladiator school. You're controlled. 01:01:58.349 --> 01:02:01.769 When you are in anger, you are 100 % a puppet. 01:02:02.050 --> 01:02:05.170 Yeah. But when you're not in anger. Oh, my goodness. 01:02:05.570 --> 01:02:08.690 When you're in what you were, love, peace, and 01:02:08.690 --> 01:02:11.440 connection. It's a completely different part 01:02:11.440 --> 01:02:14.400 of your brain. Your soul is free. You were in 01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:16.539 prison and your soul was free. You were not in 01:02:16.539 --> 01:02:18.900 prison. No. You were incarcerated. Yeah, that 01:02:18.900 --> 01:02:21.340 was it. That's it. That's it. You maybe couldn't 01:02:21.340 --> 01:02:24.719 open the door to go on the outside, but you were 01:02:24.719 --> 01:02:28.519 free. And I feel like that's the lesson I want 01:02:28.519 --> 01:02:34.380 our viewers to hear is, are you free right now? 01:02:34.579 --> 01:02:38.719 Come on now. Or are you in prison right now? 01:02:39.280 --> 01:02:41.679 What are you going to do? What are you going 01:02:41.679 --> 01:02:47.039 to do about, you know, your dad molested you. 01:02:47.159 --> 01:02:50.559 Your mom beat you as a child. They abandoned 01:02:50.559 --> 01:02:55.260 you. You know, you were on welfare because, you 01:02:55.260 --> 01:02:57.699 know, your parents were on drugs, right? Are 01:02:57.699 --> 01:02:59.719 you going to hold that anger? Are you going to 01:02:59.719 --> 01:03:01.960 hold on to that resentment? Are you going to 01:03:01.960 --> 01:03:04.739 be so angry about how come I didn't have this, 01:03:04.840 --> 01:03:08.449 this, and that? Are you going to set your soul 01:03:08.449 --> 01:03:12.889 free? And say, you know what? I don't need these 01:03:12.889 --> 01:03:16.409 shackles. These are shackles. That's it. Burdens. 01:03:16.630 --> 01:03:20.630 Weights. Who cares? Because you know what? There's 01:03:20.630 --> 01:03:23.869 a little princess who grew up with perfect parents. 01:03:24.210 --> 01:03:27.289 And she's also in prison. Yeah. Because she's 01:03:27.289 --> 01:03:30.750 allowing other factors in prison her, like her 01:03:30.750 --> 01:03:33.050 best friend called her ugly. Yeah. You know? 01:03:35.079 --> 01:03:39.079 If you want to be a victim, you can. Oh, very 01:03:39.079 --> 01:03:42.880 easily. But the choice is to say no. No. I'm 01:03:42.880 --> 01:03:45.079 not going to be a victim. The victim is a frequency. 01:03:45.079 --> 01:03:49.019 It's a vibration. And all that you bring to yourself 01:03:49.019 --> 01:03:52.440 is victimization. By the time that I went before 01:03:52.440 --> 01:03:55.320 the governor and one of the roughest commissioners 01:03:55.320 --> 01:03:58.300 in California before she resigned, after me and 01:03:58.300 --> 01:04:04.679 her interaction, everyone participated. and my 01:04:04.679 --> 01:04:09.940 physical freedom, Islamic chaplains, Jewish billionaires, 01:04:10.139 --> 01:04:19.659 Buddhist monks, officers, gang members, various 01:04:19.659 --> 01:04:23.860 organizations. You got your soul. It became a 01:04:23.860 --> 01:04:27.500 thing to show me that this is the validation 01:04:27.500 --> 01:04:33.030 of the path that... You have won over all these 01:04:33.030 --> 01:04:36.510 people in your simple humanity that someone will 01:04:36.510 --> 01:04:38.510 remember you. I got here because someone remembered 01:04:38.510 --> 01:04:42.769 me. That's amazing. All the people that we meet, 01:04:42.829 --> 01:04:45.269 all the people that can come on this show, somebody 01:04:45.269 --> 01:04:49.909 said, oh, Tobias. Tobias would be perfect for 01:04:49.909 --> 01:04:54.570 this show. And moved out on that remembrance. 01:04:54.929 --> 01:04:57.510 That's powerful. A person who I haven't talked 01:04:57.510 --> 01:05:00.619 to in maybe a year or two. Something. You left 01:05:00.619 --> 01:05:04.400 that imprint on his soul. That is. But you did. 01:05:04.539 --> 01:05:06.860 That is what we do here. And to you all speaking 01:05:06.860 --> 01:05:09.380 on, you know, all the trauma, whether it's personal 01:05:09.380 --> 01:05:12.559 or secondary or transgenerational levels of trauma. 01:05:13.500 --> 01:05:17.059 Trauma is actually beautiful. And I know people 01:05:17.059 --> 01:05:19.260 are going to say, should we have respect to him 01:05:19.260 --> 01:05:21.500 saying that? And what's beautiful on it, the 01:05:21.500 --> 01:05:23.139 deeper the trauma, the greater the resistance 01:05:23.139 --> 01:05:26.719 and resilience. And a lot of times we go through 01:05:26.719 --> 01:05:29.880 things. And so there's not. people who have my 01:05:29.880 --> 01:05:32.860 voice. It's not people who have the platforms, 01:05:33.039 --> 01:05:34.840 the springboards that I have to make it happen. 01:05:35.039 --> 01:05:38.500 So then, I become the voice for them. So if I 01:05:38.500 --> 01:05:40.800 don't experience, I'm speaking outside of it. 01:05:40.940 --> 01:05:42.840 And this is one thing that a brother said today. 01:05:42.920 --> 01:05:45.400 He said, you're very authentic. So when people 01:05:45.400 --> 01:05:46.980 talk to you, they see that you're authentic. 01:05:47.139 --> 01:05:49.679 And that's very powerful in today's times. And 01:05:49.679 --> 01:05:52.300 so when you all speak, Megatars, I study stars. 01:05:52.539 --> 01:05:54.239 Because I always want to know, what kind of star 01:05:54.239 --> 01:05:55.739 would I be? What kind of star has the greatest 01:05:55.739 --> 01:05:59.599 magnetic pull? And it's the stars that collapse 01:05:59.599 --> 01:06:03.619 into each other and they become one light. These 01:06:03.619 --> 01:06:07.079 are megatars. The gravitational pull is greater 01:06:07.079 --> 01:06:10.239 than the Earth. They shine a thousand times more 01:06:10.239 --> 01:06:13.420 greater than the sun. So think about this star 01:06:13.420 --> 01:06:15.880 here, and you just said it. So all that you went 01:06:15.880 --> 01:06:19.880 through and all that he's gone through, the beloved 01:06:19.880 --> 01:06:24.780 and the night, come together. Now think of all 01:06:24.780 --> 01:06:29.210 the people. in that pull, in that sway. And that 01:06:29.210 --> 01:06:32.869 is the miracle of not just men and women is when 01:06:32.869 --> 01:06:36.289 souls connect in that way. I've collapsed inside 01:06:36.289 --> 01:06:39.670 of your world. Come on, I'm walking out on the 01:06:39.670 --> 01:06:42.469 balcony overlooking. I've never been this high 01:06:42.469 --> 01:06:47.449 in the sky except for a tin airplane. You feel 01:06:47.449 --> 01:06:49.670 me? So now I'm like, wow. And I didn't even think 01:06:49.670 --> 01:06:51.599 that the door actually worked. This is like a 01:06:51.599 --> 01:06:53.760 prop in some places. It's there, but just for 01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:56.159 show. I opened it up, and I was afraid because 01:06:56.159 --> 01:06:58.320 I'd never been this high in the sky. So I stepped 01:06:58.320 --> 01:07:01.119 out of the balcony. You're talking about the 01:07:01.119 --> 01:07:03.639 apartment where you're staying. Yes, yes. You 01:07:03.639 --> 01:07:06.920 feel me? Like, wow. I'm up here in a birth room. 01:07:07.059 --> 01:07:09.860 I'm like, damn, I'm on the same aisle. It's a 01:07:09.860 --> 01:07:13.039 nice place, too. That's a beautiful place in 01:07:13.039 --> 01:07:15.800 prison. Down. You know, whenever violence happens, 01:07:15.860 --> 01:07:18.119 you have to get down on the ground. And it's 01:07:18.119 --> 01:07:21.590 130 degrees. And you have to stop right where 01:07:21.590 --> 01:07:24.510 you are. And it's asphalt. And there's no grass 01:07:24.510 --> 01:07:28.389 nor trees. And so first I used to just. It's 01:07:28.389 --> 01:07:30.730 hot asphalt. I'm talking about people literally 01:07:30.730 --> 01:07:34.130 skin has been burnt off of their bodies. And 01:07:34.130 --> 01:07:36.909 so I've seen, I've known them, I've loved on 01:07:36.909 --> 01:07:44.690 them, I've rubbed. Yeah. So I used to find a 01:07:44.690 --> 01:07:47.949 spot. And I always wore, like, layered clothes, 01:07:48.150 --> 01:07:51.070 my sweetie Kimmy. Why you still wear layered 01:07:51.070 --> 01:07:53.809 clothes? I still do, like, three -peer panther. 01:07:53.909 --> 01:07:57.210 You just never know. I guess it's part of institutionalization. 01:07:57.889 --> 01:08:00.250 Because I'm layered up, you never know what might 01:08:00.250 --> 01:08:02.510 happen. My point of it is I used to go to my 01:08:02.510 --> 01:08:05.349 mama's house, and I used to remember the grass. 01:08:05.929 --> 01:08:08.670 I used to lay in the grass how I look up. And 01:08:08.670 --> 01:08:10.610 so that's where I'd be because they let you leave 01:08:10.610 --> 01:08:13.909 down there so long. I said, why am I going there? 01:08:14.010 --> 01:08:16.050 It's not really her house. I'm just trying to 01:08:16.050 --> 01:08:18.489 get away from here. I start going to the beach. 01:08:18.989 --> 01:08:25.189 And so today, Robbie and I went to the beach 01:08:25.189 --> 01:08:33.109 and walked on the sand. And I see those waves, 01:08:33.210 --> 01:08:36.869 beautiful waves. We're in Miami for years. We're 01:08:36.869 --> 01:08:39.930 in Miami Beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I started 01:08:39.930 --> 01:08:42.899 crying. Like, well, what's up, brother? I said, 01:08:42.939 --> 01:08:49.659 brother, inside of the spiritual path, all spirits 01:08:49.659 --> 01:08:51.800 are connected. You know, whether you call it 01:08:51.800 --> 01:08:54.319 a ruach or whether you call it a ruh, whether 01:08:54.319 --> 01:08:57.180 you call it bah, you know, what symbol, what 01:08:57.180 --> 01:08:59.680 time, what era, just stop playing. The spirit 01:08:59.680 --> 01:09:02.460 of the divine is the spirit of the divine. And 01:09:02.460 --> 01:09:05.640 so I've always been able to see where I was going. 01:09:06.920 --> 01:09:10.630 But the people around me just be lights. So when 01:09:10.630 --> 01:09:15.109 I meet y 'all, that's why it's like home. Hey, 01:09:15.310 --> 01:09:17.430 I just have to wait to see if y 'all are on the 01:09:17.430 --> 01:09:19.189 same wavelength. Y 'all feeling me? I'm feeling 01:09:19.189 --> 01:09:21.229 you. Come on in. If not, I pray you do by the 01:09:21.229 --> 01:09:24.270 end of it. And so when we was there, hug Robbie, 01:09:24.369 --> 01:09:26.630 man, told him that I love him and appreciate 01:09:26.630 --> 01:09:28.350 him. I said, brother, I've been here a thousand 01:09:28.350 --> 01:09:31.329 times. And people know I'm blessed to travel. 01:09:31.449 --> 01:09:34.010 I've been all over the world, been to many beautiful 01:09:34.010 --> 01:09:38.210 beaches. But today, fully present, fully in the 01:09:38.210 --> 01:09:41.789 awe of it. And then I'm standing there. I said, 01:09:41.810 --> 01:09:43.810 this is what it's about. It's not about this 01:09:43.810 --> 01:09:46.489 podcast. It's not about meeting y 'all. It's 01:09:46.489 --> 01:09:48.329 about letting know everybody who I met up to 01:09:48.329 --> 01:09:50.550 this point I loved on them, and they loved on 01:09:50.550 --> 01:09:52.750 me. And I treat them like stars, and they treat 01:09:52.750 --> 01:09:54.710 me like a star. I want to hear some of those 01:09:54.710 --> 01:09:56.890 stories, because I've got this vision in my mind 01:09:56.890 --> 01:10:03.189 of you being in prison, being this bright, shining 01:10:03.189 --> 01:10:08.850 light, bundle of love, hugging on men. and have 01:10:08.850 --> 01:10:11.229 never been hugged before. The beauty of this 01:10:11.229 --> 01:10:16.930 is that what we have done at the time that I 01:10:16.930 --> 01:10:20.409 was able to do it was we opened the doors for, 01:10:20.590 --> 01:10:22.970 at this point, hundreds of people to come out 01:10:22.970 --> 01:10:25.850 of prison. They changed the laws, they changed 01:10:25.850 --> 01:10:28.750 the sciences, and I was one of the first five 01:10:28.750 --> 01:10:31.829 released, me and a team of brothers who, God 01:10:31.829 --> 01:10:34.970 bless us, to make this happen. My point, I tell 01:10:34.970 --> 01:10:37.239 the guys who've been in there with me, Y 'all 01:10:37.239 --> 01:10:39.840 stories are way better than mine. Because y 'all 01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:43.680 seen humanity in me when they claim you had no 01:10:43.680 --> 01:10:47.079 humanity. And most of them had no fathers. No 01:10:47.079 --> 01:10:50.420 male figures. Probably never been hugged by anyone. 01:10:50.420 --> 01:10:54.479 The first one, he's on the street. Remember, 01:10:54.579 --> 01:10:59.119 I was in Watts. And Watts and Compton was... 01:10:59.630 --> 01:11:03.090 very robust and dangerous young men at the time 01:11:03.090 --> 01:11:05.470 due to the conditions of what was going on. When 01:11:05.470 --> 01:11:08.069 you were in prison. Right. I was in jail. The 01:11:08.069 --> 01:11:10.350 county jail was actually more dangerous. They 01:11:10.350 --> 01:11:11.829 called it the insane asylum. I ain't going to 01:11:11.829 --> 01:11:14.810 say to the governor, but we had a bright governor 01:11:14.810 --> 01:11:17.029 who said that the criminally deranged and the 01:11:17.029 --> 01:11:19.590 mentally insane is the same person. And so we 01:11:19.590 --> 01:11:21.630 don't need mental health centers. We're just 01:11:21.630 --> 01:11:23.930 going to be more prisons. And then after he got 01:11:23.930 --> 01:11:25.989 out of office, and fact check everything I say, 01:11:26.170 --> 01:11:30.520 he created a... a concrete and steel company, 01:11:30.659 --> 01:11:33.899 and he built 33 prisons. Very easy to figure 01:11:33.899 --> 01:11:36.479 out who he is. So my point of this is, now you 01:11:36.479 --> 01:11:39.819 have all these men in the county jail system, 01:11:40.100 --> 01:11:43.000 and you have literally mentally ill people in 01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:47.119 the system. And that ain't cool. The first time 01:11:47.119 --> 01:11:54.279 that I knew, see, what you do, you, I don't want 01:11:54.279 --> 01:12:00.390 to say target, you target. The shot caller. Although 01:12:00.390 --> 01:12:02.869 the youngsters are looking, but these are the 01:12:02.869 --> 01:12:04.670 same youngsters that attacked me on command. 01:12:06.109 --> 01:12:09.909 Remember, I'm a non -affiliate. And I'm not this 01:12:09.909 --> 01:12:13.510 people that y 'all see now. I'm literally your 01:12:13.510 --> 01:12:15.569 husband's son. He's in prison. He's all perfect. 01:12:16.289 --> 01:12:20.189 Lean. I was more dangerous then than now. Lean. 01:12:21.430 --> 01:12:24.149 Can't really speak at that time. God didn't remove 01:12:24.149 --> 01:12:25.970 the amphetamine off my tongue yet so I could 01:12:25.970 --> 01:12:28.720 speak for his people. And so I had to be very 01:12:28.720 --> 01:12:31.319 deliberate when I do speak. And I had to have 01:12:31.319 --> 01:12:33.359 it all the way lined up. So anytime I was saying 01:12:33.359 --> 01:12:35.079 stuff now, I don't even think about what I'm 01:12:35.079 --> 01:12:36.699 talking about. The spirit just comes out. But 01:12:36.699 --> 01:12:39.020 then I'm going to plan on this about two, three 01:12:39.020 --> 01:12:40.720 days. Because it would take me that long to get 01:12:40.720 --> 01:12:43.939 it out. And so it was a guy named Cisco. He was 01:12:43.939 --> 01:12:47.720 the leader of Watts. Then he's out. I love you, 01:12:47.760 --> 01:12:51.020 Cisco. And I said, okay, I'm going to get Cisco. 01:12:51.880 --> 01:12:57.399 And so we was in the same court. You know, there 01:12:57.399 --> 01:13:00.140 was a general. All the Comptons, all the Watts, 01:13:00.420 --> 01:13:03.039 they move on his call. I'm talking about snap 01:13:03.039 --> 01:13:05.979 finger, they on your body, stripping you out, 01:13:06.060 --> 01:13:09.239 woo -woo, then, right? So I'm vibing. For some 01:13:09.239 --> 01:13:11.739 reason, they never faded me. Most people know 01:13:11.739 --> 01:13:15.239 in the world of, like, the animal kingdom, there's 01:13:15.239 --> 01:13:16.899 somebody dangerous. You know, you can look at 01:13:16.899 --> 01:13:18.439 a cat and tell him he ain't the one to play, 01:13:18.479 --> 01:13:20.260 be playing with. This is going to be a hard fight. 01:13:20.800 --> 01:13:22.800 And then they warned him, yeah, he going to be 01:13:22.800 --> 01:13:24.600 somebody in prison. So why is he jumping on him? 01:13:24.659 --> 01:13:26.880 So they was right. I did become somebody in prison. 01:13:27.300 --> 01:13:30.399 So it was Cisco's daughter. So one day I was 01:13:30.399 --> 01:13:33.020 on the phone. We both getting convicted at the 01:13:33.020 --> 01:13:35.680 same time. And, you know, he's a hard general, 01:13:35.760 --> 01:13:39.260 man. This dude, I'm 20. He in his 30s. Been to 01:13:39.260 --> 01:13:42.399 San Quentin at the roughest pins. Run his whole 01:13:42.399 --> 01:13:46.880 hoods. And we came to chorus. I seen he about 01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:49.880 to break. And I said, but you need the phone? 01:13:50.359 --> 01:13:52.140 He said, yeah. So he's talking to his guy. He 01:13:52.140 --> 01:13:54.100 says, baby, mom. He got off the phone. I know 01:13:54.100 --> 01:13:57.479 he needed a hug. I said, big sister, come on, 01:13:57.500 --> 01:14:02.960 man. He said, come on, man. He hugged me. I did 01:14:02.960 --> 01:14:05.520 what my father did. I put the cheek up on his 01:14:05.520 --> 01:14:09.359 face. I hugged him. I said, you're going to be 01:14:09.359 --> 01:14:13.579 all right, Cisco. And then, you know, we strong 01:14:13.579 --> 01:14:16.140 dudes. You know, we gladiators. You know, it's 01:14:16.140 --> 01:14:19.100 not that I ain't got in a fight. I never. attack 01:14:19.100 --> 01:14:21.520 nobody, but I've defended. I've disarmed people. 01:14:21.960 --> 01:14:25.899 I've made citizen arrests in prison. But I've 01:14:25.899 --> 01:14:28.159 never hurt you. I ain't gonna let you hurt me 01:14:28.159 --> 01:14:30.260 either, though. So just with context, I'm gonna 01:14:30.260 --> 01:14:35.180 say stuff. He collapsed in my arms. For that 01:14:35.180 --> 01:14:41.659 one second. And that's how I knew that I passed 01:14:41.659 --> 01:14:46.060 him all the divinity that my father has placed 01:14:46.060 --> 01:14:49.729 upon my heart. all the strength, all the masculinity, 01:14:50.109 --> 01:14:55.869 all the femininity until that moment. And the 01:14:55.869 --> 01:14:58.970 hug is not in. If you're still in your ego, if 01:14:58.970 --> 01:15:01.510 you're still tense, you ain't hugging. Collapse 01:15:01.510 --> 01:15:05.250 into each other. Collapse into each other. There's 01:15:05.250 --> 01:15:07.630 no more husband -wife. There's no more male -female. 01:15:07.710 --> 01:15:09.649 There's no more Muslim -Jew. That's how I know 01:15:09.649 --> 01:15:11.609 if somebody's really hugging me or not because 01:15:11.609 --> 01:15:13.149 we're going to lose each other in each other's 01:15:13.149 --> 01:15:14.909 arms. And that's, again, it's never disrespect 01:15:14.909 --> 01:15:17.630 to you, your husband, your staff. If we hugging, 01:15:17.689 --> 01:15:20.630 we hugging. We pass all that by now. We're not 01:15:20.630 --> 01:15:23.170 kids. And then there'll be a transmission of 01:15:23.170 --> 01:15:27.050 energy. And so from that with Cisco, from that 01:15:27.050 --> 01:15:30.810 point on, any place I went, and somebody has 01:15:30.810 --> 01:15:33.909 to leave the dorm. And so if the shot callers 01:15:33.909 --> 01:15:36.029 wasn't there, they'd be there, yo, ill cubs, 01:15:36.130 --> 01:15:38.930 let me get cribs. Whose dorm is it? Because, 01:15:39.010 --> 01:15:40.609 you know, you riot, and then a hundred of us 01:15:40.609 --> 01:15:41.829 get thrown. There's a hundred people in the dorm. 01:15:42.390 --> 01:15:45.670 And they say, Shaq. My Muslim name is Shakir, 01:15:45.829 --> 01:15:50.569 the grateful one. Belief, conviction, and gratitude. 01:15:51.050 --> 01:15:56.750 My family name is Shakir. Who? Do a Muslim call? 01:15:56.949 --> 01:16:02.329 Muslim cuz. Muslim cuz? Yeah. And so the older 01:16:02.329 --> 01:16:06.630 heads start putting me in control over. And this 01:16:06.630 --> 01:16:09.149 is in the county. And so now I'm over 100 people. 01:16:09.789 --> 01:16:13.750 And so. This is a part of my philosophy. We both 01:16:13.750 --> 01:16:17.430 are found in schools. If you create safe space, 01:16:17.909 --> 01:16:20.789 violence is already interrupted. I don't have 01:16:20.789 --> 01:16:22.529 to say I'm a violence interrupted. You know I'm 01:16:22.529 --> 01:16:23.890 a violence interrupted because I'm creating a 01:16:23.890 --> 01:16:27.810 safe space. And so that's what I was able to 01:16:27.810 --> 01:16:30.289 do. Because if you feel safe inside of yourself, 01:16:30.810 --> 01:16:33.630 I'm already safe. I can come here, and there's 01:16:33.630 --> 01:16:35.430 no way I'll even come here. There's no amount 01:16:35.430 --> 01:16:36.750 of money in there. Y 'all can get me here if 01:16:36.750 --> 01:16:38.609 I didn't feel I was safe. I'm not going to buy 01:16:38.609 --> 01:16:40.170 into it. I don't want to be none of the part 01:16:40.170 --> 01:16:41.569 of it. I'm not going to get on a plane, train, 01:16:41.789 --> 01:16:46.350 jet. I'm cool. I'm not in jail no more. I don't 01:16:46.350 --> 01:16:48.569 got to play no games. I'm free. That's the other 01:16:48.569 --> 01:16:51.369 thing I say about school. It's the safety. Making 01:16:51.369 --> 01:16:54.010 these kids feel safe. That's everything. 100%. 01:16:54.010 --> 01:16:56.970 Everything. Then there was another brother named 01:16:56.970 --> 01:17:00.869 Big Rebo. Do you see that moment that he locked 01:17:00.869 --> 01:17:05.569 in and you connected your hearts, vibrated together? 01:17:06.810 --> 01:17:10.130 So did he almost, like, did he become, like, 01:17:10.170 --> 01:17:13.310 did he appoint you to these positions? Was it 01:17:13.310 --> 01:17:15.369 like, I almost feel like, you know, the story 01:17:15.369 --> 01:17:18.729 of Pharaoh and Yusuf, you know? Like, really, 01:17:18.850 --> 01:17:20.430 like, that's like. My daddy named me Joseph. 01:17:20.550 --> 01:17:23.529 Really? Like, that image came in my mind, you 01:17:23.529 --> 01:17:27.029 know? And it wasn't just him. It was that generation 01:17:27.029 --> 01:17:30.409 that preceded me. I tell people just in the realm 01:17:30.409 --> 01:17:32.930 of, you know, 4D, 4D mental. When he, like, set 01:17:32.930 --> 01:17:36.300 you up. Of course, him and his crew. It was Big 01:17:36.300 --> 01:17:39.619 Meat House, Popsqually, you know, Turtle. All 01:17:39.619 --> 01:17:42.460 these dudes are like the dudes. So they see how 01:17:42.460 --> 01:17:45.680 I'm engaging Cisco and how we going to the side 01:17:45.680 --> 01:17:48.979 and they looking. I'm the one talking. It ain't 01:17:48.979 --> 01:17:50.840 him talking. It's me talking. But they don't 01:17:50.840 --> 01:17:53.899 know what we talking about. He's crying. I'm 01:17:53.899 --> 01:17:58.300 crying. Come on. I'm hugging. Whoa. How old are 01:17:58.300 --> 01:18:02.250 you at that time? 20. 20, 21, 22. This is a pivotal 01:18:02.250 --> 01:18:04.289 moment. Oh, brother, very pivotal moment. This 01:18:04.289 --> 01:18:07.289 is how I knew the power. And then the officer. 01:18:07.569 --> 01:18:10.210 Who was older than you? I don't know. I've raised, 01:18:10.590 --> 01:18:11.789 when people ask me, I don't have any biological 01:18:11.789 --> 01:18:15.170 children. And so people are like, man, but I 01:18:15.170 --> 01:18:17.710 say, yeah, I'm not their daddy, but I was raising 01:18:17.710 --> 01:18:21.350 people my age, 40, 50, 60, 70. These men in prison, 01:18:21.430 --> 01:18:24.550 70 years old, been in jail for 40 years. So basically. 01:18:26.250 --> 01:18:28.829 This big man on the yard. This big man in the 01:18:28.829 --> 01:18:32.470 prison. Yeah. Running the stuff. Yeah. Yeah. 01:18:32.569 --> 01:18:36.130 You have this pivotal moment where you guys hug 01:18:36.130 --> 01:18:38.569 in the courtroom and you knew. Yeah. Everything. 01:18:38.729 --> 01:18:41.109 You knew when your souls were going to connect 01:18:41.109 --> 01:18:45.289 at a deep level, that was it. That was it. Resonance. 01:18:45.310 --> 01:18:48.090 You're 100%. And then you were orchestrated to 01:18:48.090 --> 01:18:52.170 now help others. And. Because you were appointed. 01:18:52.630 --> 01:18:55.050 Don't become entitled. That's another thing, 01:18:55.090 --> 01:18:57.729 too. Entitlement. That could be a power trip. 01:18:57.890 --> 01:19:00.729 Yeah, yeah, entitlement. I'm pretty sure that, 01:19:00.829 --> 01:19:04.329 you know, one thing I've heard about you all 01:19:04.329 --> 01:19:06.369 is kindness, kindness, kindness. You know, I'm 01:19:06.369 --> 01:19:08.850 very sensitive to words, energy come off words. 01:19:09.270 --> 01:19:11.970 And if I'm going to have that experience, just 01:19:11.970 --> 01:19:13.670 because y 'all kind to everybody else don't mean 01:19:13.670 --> 01:19:15.770 you're f***ing kind to me. You proved it so. 01:19:15.989 --> 01:19:21.489 With that being said, that our man, when he, 01:19:21.750 --> 01:19:28.329 Cisco, It was his generation. It was a stamp 01:19:28.329 --> 01:19:31.409 of his generation to my generation. Them brothers 01:19:31.409 --> 01:19:34.949 did real time. I caught that last bit of real 01:19:34.949 --> 01:19:38.949 prison. Before, it's just like warehousing. I'm 01:19:38.949 --> 01:19:42.250 talking about it's just death. You're just sitting 01:19:42.250 --> 01:19:45.710 there languishing in cells, eating a bunch of 01:19:45.710 --> 01:19:47.789 junk food that you're buying from a commissary. 01:19:47.930 --> 01:19:52.189 We spend $2 billion a year on trash, junk food. 01:19:52.640 --> 01:19:55.180 Because, you know, the food they give you, this 01:19:55.180 --> 01:19:57.760 is enough to keep you alive. So you're going 01:19:57.760 --> 01:20:00.619 to lean on that garbage. You know, so you're 01:20:00.619 --> 01:20:02.279 just sitting there feeling an unfulfilled hole. 01:20:02.479 --> 01:20:06.119 So to the point when his generation said, this 01:20:06.119 --> 01:20:10.779 is our guy, boom. As a youngster, as a youngster 01:20:10.779 --> 01:20:12.960 who's a non -affiliate, you know, young affiliates 01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:15.439 get to know, if you ain't a gang member, if you 01:20:15.439 --> 01:20:17.920 don't kick up, if you don't sympathize, then 01:20:17.920 --> 01:20:20.319 you're preyed upon. And they never won't. Never. 01:20:20.359 --> 01:20:22.600 Demanded you to be part of the gang at all? No, 01:20:22.699 --> 01:20:25.640 never. You got safety out of this promotion, 01:20:26.239 --> 01:20:29.159 in effect, right? You got safety, physical safety 01:20:29.159 --> 01:20:32.000 from that point on? Yeah, but then again, you 01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:34.399 know, I'm more active than the gang member. For 01:20:34.399 --> 01:20:38.340 one, California, you know, whenever people are 01:20:38.340 --> 01:20:41.020 raised and defaced and canceled and obliterated, 01:20:41.140 --> 01:20:44.939 it's us against you, them against us. So the 01:20:44.939 --> 01:20:47.859 guards used to play the Hispanic community against 01:20:47.859 --> 01:20:52.289 us. and the Hispanic community normally were 01:20:52.289 --> 01:20:55.310 bigger and stronger than the Hispanic brothers, 01:20:55.590 --> 01:20:59.090 right? But they more lethal and organized because 01:20:59.090 --> 01:21:00.750 they're going to kill you. And they're going 01:21:00.750 --> 01:21:03.050 to kill one of you. See, they love me, even the 01:21:03.050 --> 01:21:05.729 Hispanic brother. Anytime blacks and me get into 01:21:05.729 --> 01:21:07.670 something, those are the people who's protecting 01:21:07.670 --> 01:21:10.850 me. Hispanic, whites, Polo, all kind of people. 01:21:11.130 --> 01:21:13.270 Yeah, yeah. Once I was the youngest from Compton. 01:21:13.289 --> 01:21:16.279 So wait, so you had. You were connected to all 01:21:16.279 --> 01:21:19.020 the - I'm talking about this. This was before 01:21:19.020 --> 01:21:20.880 I even got to prison. It's a situation. You said, 01:21:20.920 --> 01:21:22.779 they never tried to do nothing to me. A youngster, 01:21:22.880 --> 01:21:26.239 he's jealous. I remember, what's that movie called? 01:21:26.340 --> 01:21:28.340 Coming Back to America. Coming Back to America. 01:21:28.479 --> 01:21:30.140 With Eddie Murphy. Coming to America. Coming 01:21:30.140 --> 01:21:33.319 to America. And remember, in jail, there is no 01:21:33.319 --> 01:21:36.420 black television. It's all Hispanic in jail, 01:21:36.500 --> 01:21:38.140 especially where I was at, right? So I'm in the 01:21:38.140 --> 01:21:41.520 county jail, and the brother said, bro, Coming 01:21:41.520 --> 01:21:43.930 to America's on. I'm like, what? He said, bro, 01:21:44.029 --> 01:21:46.630 it's just beautiful to see black people. You 01:21:46.630 --> 01:21:49.270 feel me? So I'm getting up and this one little 01:21:49.270 --> 01:21:51.489 youngster, he just came from youth authority. 01:21:52.489 --> 01:21:56.229 He caught my eyes. Sometimes I put my shoes on 01:21:56.229 --> 01:21:58.810 because then it's one against, it's always one 01:21:58.810 --> 01:22:01.350 against 20. That's why I'm not intimidated of 01:22:01.350 --> 01:22:06.350 odds. That's why I was so, you know, just elated 01:22:06.350 --> 01:22:09.329 when I see you squabbling these people and fighting. 01:22:09.880 --> 01:22:12.180 Because a lot of people don't have the heart, 01:22:12.279 --> 01:22:15.439 the spirituality, the husband, and the resources 01:22:15.439 --> 01:22:19.479 to back them up all for you, for your whole brand 01:22:19.479 --> 01:22:21.319 and everything to be scarred, people to leave 01:22:21.319 --> 01:22:23.899 you hanging, rebuild, and it's so beautiful. 01:22:23.939 --> 01:22:25.880 She's ready to be chained to the front doors 01:22:25.880 --> 01:22:30.579 of a school. So this young guy, man, he swung. 01:22:31.899 --> 01:22:34.619 He said, oh, you say F -Crip? I'm like, what? 01:22:35.130 --> 01:22:37.710 But I had one shoe on and one shoe off. And so 01:22:37.710 --> 01:22:41.229 he swung and I went back because I'm on my bunk. 01:22:41.630 --> 01:22:44.029 And so, well, my arms are too long so he can't 01:22:44.029 --> 01:22:46.109 hit me. So he's trying to get the Crips going. 01:22:46.409 --> 01:22:48.069 Because he said they'll quit. He's trying to 01:22:48.069 --> 01:22:51.649 get them to jump me. My Mexican neighbor said, 01:22:51.729 --> 01:22:54.350 police walking, police walking. So they scrambled. 01:22:54.590 --> 01:22:57.810 Boom. Then I'm like, ah, I'm going to put my 01:22:57.810 --> 01:23:00.989 boot on. And you said that just to get them to 01:23:00.989 --> 01:23:02.829 stop? Yeah, because they think the police are 01:23:02.829 --> 01:23:04.510 going to get scared. They're going to see. Yeah, 01:23:04.529 --> 01:23:06.649 yeah, you scared of the police. Yeah, yeah, you 01:23:06.649 --> 01:23:08.470 scared of the police stuff. You know, you would 01:23:08.470 --> 01:23:12.270 jump on me. Yeah. But the mere saying that a 01:23:12.270 --> 01:23:14.029 police, and don't disrespect, y 'all know I'm 01:23:14.029 --> 01:23:16.250 beyond skin. A young white boy coming here with 01:23:16.250 --> 01:23:19.170 a stick, you scared him. Wow. But you would jump 01:23:19.170 --> 01:23:20.789 on me and try to kill me up. And this is how 01:23:20.789 --> 01:23:23.250 sick and erased in our consciousness that we 01:23:23.250 --> 01:23:28.350 are. And so the Hispanic brothers shot me a burr 01:23:28.350 --> 01:23:32.289 or a kite, a note. Don't trip, we're going to 01:23:32.289 --> 01:23:37.270 get them. And I wrote him back, nah, bro, you 01:23:37.270 --> 01:23:40.289 can't do that. If you get into it with them, 01:23:40.510 --> 01:23:44.670 it has to be on something that, but not for me, 01:23:44.770 --> 01:23:47.470 bro, let me deal with my people. You feel me? 01:23:47.529 --> 01:23:50.989 Let me address. And it turned out that another 01:23:50.989 --> 01:23:53.970 one, which is Big Rebo, which is the head of 01:23:53.970 --> 01:23:59.149 Compton, he came in and some Hispanic brothers 01:23:59.149 --> 01:24:01.880 in there smoking crack. And I've never even seen 01:24:01.880 --> 01:24:03.340 a piece of crack cocaine in my... You get crack 01:24:03.340 --> 01:24:06.380 in prison? Oh, you get everything. No, we're 01:24:06.380 --> 01:24:08.180 still in jail. This store is our jail. Yeah, 01:24:08.220 --> 01:24:10.640 you get crack. Wow. And just the smell set him 01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:12.760 off. I didn't know what it was. I'm like, what's 01:24:12.760 --> 01:24:15.819 that? What was that? Man, 18th Street in this 01:24:15.819 --> 01:24:18.739 moment, crack. I actually wanted to see it because, 01:24:18.819 --> 01:24:20.539 you know, I was sheltered. I've been sheltered 01:24:20.539 --> 01:24:23.039 my whole life. You know, so I actually wanted 01:24:23.039 --> 01:24:24.779 to see it. So I went over there and said, let 01:24:24.779 --> 01:24:26.319 me see what it was called. Hey, these don't get 01:24:26.319 --> 01:24:28.840 away from here. This ain't for you. But I didn't 01:24:28.840 --> 01:24:31.060 want to see some crack being smoked. No, I'm 01:24:31.060 --> 01:24:32.880 the kind of person that got to see it. I got 01:24:32.880 --> 01:24:35.079 to feel it. You know, come on, man. Take me to 01:24:35.079 --> 01:24:36.899 the school so I can see it. I don't want to. 01:24:37.140 --> 01:24:39.539 And it ain't real until I experience it. And 01:24:39.539 --> 01:24:46.600 so I seen the trauma. I seen the hurt. I don't 01:24:46.600 --> 01:24:50.239 like saying demons and all that stuff. But yeah, 01:24:50.359 --> 01:24:53.199 that crack cocaine was created by hurtful people. 01:24:53.720 --> 01:24:59.819 Evil. Sinister. And when we take that into our 01:24:59.819 --> 01:25:04.939 spirit or to our bodies, it does nothing but 01:25:04.939 --> 01:25:11.619 destroy. And so I felt sick. So Rebo is another 01:25:11.619 --> 01:25:16.380 one, 6 '2", 24 -inch in the county. Ain't too 01:25:16.380 --> 01:25:18.140 many big dudes in the county unless you went 01:25:18.140 --> 01:25:22.000 to the pen. And so me and him were spade partners, 01:25:22.060 --> 01:25:25.729 and he had a crush on my wife's sister. And you 01:25:25.729 --> 01:25:27.850 feel me now, I became a psychiatrist. A lot of 01:25:27.850 --> 01:25:29.829 these people just need somebody to talk to, you 01:25:29.829 --> 01:25:33.250 know, somebody to confess to. What happened to 01:25:33.250 --> 01:25:36.989 the guys that committed the crimes? No, they're 01:25:36.989 --> 01:25:39.270 still in, both of them. Yeah, these are my brothers, 01:25:39.369 --> 01:25:42.930 man. They transformed their lives, really doing 01:25:42.930 --> 01:25:44.409 the good work, just like me, all three of them. 01:25:44.470 --> 01:25:50.550 How'd you stay connected with them? For 20 years, 01:25:50.649 --> 01:25:54.979 I was... at the lower parts of the prison, which 01:25:54.979 --> 01:25:57.659 is the south, the dirty south is what it's called. 01:25:58.359 --> 01:26:04.359 They were up north, and one of them, John Yahya, 01:26:04.520 --> 01:26:08.960 he came, I seen him first. And I learned a lot 01:26:08.960 --> 01:26:15.579 about myself not to suppress and dissociate how 01:26:15.579 --> 01:26:20.899 you feel. And that's how I know I still needed 01:26:20.899 --> 01:26:23.640 a lot of healing. Because I really think I lured 01:26:23.640 --> 01:26:27.359 him in the cell. And then what was coming out 01:26:27.359 --> 01:26:30.600 of me just wasn't cool. They relocated him to 01:26:30.600 --> 01:26:32.699 where you were? Right, right, right, right. Both 01:26:32.699 --> 01:26:34.640 of my co -defendants. Yeah, in prison, they put 01:26:34.640 --> 01:26:35.899 you all together because we're not separated 01:26:35.899 --> 01:26:38.880 from each other. This was... This is early in 01:26:38.880 --> 01:26:41.100 my experience. I didn't... I seen one almost 01:26:41.100 --> 01:26:45.239 immediately in 1995. So you were angry? You went 01:26:45.239 --> 01:26:48.260 off? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then 01:26:48.260 --> 01:26:53.380 the other one, which is... Salaam Ibn Miriam. 01:26:54.279 --> 01:26:57.220 Salaam, salaam, salaam. I'm sorry, bro. We know 01:26:57.220 --> 01:27:01.060 I'm by his name. When he came in the cell, I 01:27:01.060 --> 01:27:04.420 kind of felt that this was his fault. Yeah. His 01:27:04.420 --> 01:27:08.579 fault, you know. And I felt that he didn't. You 01:27:08.579 --> 01:27:12.000 went into the anger. No, I can tell you what's 01:27:12.000 --> 01:27:16.479 worse than anger. Rage. Rage. And black rage. 01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:19.319 Black rage is a culmination of everything that 01:27:19.319 --> 01:27:22.369 ever happened to black folks. And you can summon 01:27:22.369 --> 01:27:24.329 the ancestral memory. I know who I'm talking 01:27:24.329 --> 01:27:26.390 about. Y 'all are the real deal. You know, you've 01:27:26.390 --> 01:27:31.250 set up whole apparatuses on neurology and neuroplasticity 01:27:31.250 --> 01:27:34.029 and ancestral memory. And, you know, that's why 01:27:34.029 --> 01:27:36.090 I love y 'all, for real. Because that's what 01:27:36.090 --> 01:27:39.569 I'm on. That's what I've been on. And so I can 01:27:39.569 --> 01:27:43.130 summon some shit up in my body that I know ain't 01:27:43.130 --> 01:27:45.560 just mine. I know this stuff is being brought 01:27:45.560 --> 01:27:48.140 from a certain place. It's not a demon. It's 01:27:48.140 --> 01:27:49.920 not I don't need to be exorcised. I don't need 01:27:49.920 --> 01:27:52.199 to be baptized three more times. Yeah. Then we 01:27:52.199 --> 01:27:55.180 need to address this. So that's what he did on 01:27:55.180 --> 01:27:57.819 the outer for me because it's not no reason for 01:27:57.819 --> 01:27:59.579 me to get mad at somebody because I really don't 01:27:59.579 --> 01:28:01.479 know where I'm at. Yeah. Until he got in the 01:28:01.479 --> 01:28:04.539 cell that I asked him just really about the case 01:28:04.539 --> 01:28:06.840 and how this stuff even happened, how my name 01:28:06.840 --> 01:28:10.060 got involved. And then it turned out, and this 01:28:10.060 --> 01:28:13.699 is no disrespect to him, that he lied. You know, 01:28:13.739 --> 01:28:16.359 he lied. And that's what got my name involved 01:28:16.359 --> 01:28:19.520 and got me involved. I wasn't in the house when 01:28:19.520 --> 01:28:22.420 the people were hurt. I left. The spirit told 01:28:22.420 --> 01:28:25.920 me then, get out of there. So I left. I left. 01:28:26.220 --> 01:28:30.779 And so when I figured out, like, what? And then 01:28:30.779 --> 01:28:32.840 I got the transcripts and I started reading. 01:28:33.260 --> 01:28:37.760 I didn't come at him inside of jail. But when 01:28:37.760 --> 01:28:40.500 I got to the pen and the weight is hitting me, 01:28:40.659 --> 01:28:42.439 I said, man, I'm going to have to be here forever. 01:28:43.159 --> 01:28:46.739 I don't think I've never been that upset with 01:28:46.739 --> 01:28:51.779 somebody. So I came at him, and although I forgave 01:28:51.779 --> 01:28:55.880 him, but I had to find ways, okay, so if I can 01:28:55.880 --> 01:29:00.739 get that angry and enraged, and I'm willing to 01:29:00.739 --> 01:29:07.119 kill somebody, then that same energy on the other 01:29:07.119 --> 01:29:10.569 spectrum is love. that I can give life to somebody. 01:29:10.829 --> 01:29:15.130 So to the same capacity that I am willing to 01:29:15.130 --> 01:29:21.109 take your and chuck it in. Okay, no, we're going 01:29:21.109 --> 01:29:23.369 to take that. Okay, let's look at it. Okay, all 01:29:23.369 --> 01:29:26.189 right, I can see why you're upset. I can see 01:29:26.189 --> 01:29:28.569 why. Okay, so now let's make sense of this. It 01:29:28.569 --> 01:29:30.729 has to be some resilience involved. It has to 01:29:30.729 --> 01:29:33.310 be some neuroplasticity. It has to be some wisdom 01:29:33.310 --> 01:29:35.630 in this, some transferable skills in this. So 01:29:35.630 --> 01:29:36.850 what am I going to do on this? Now I'm going 01:29:36.850 --> 01:29:38.399 to start loving on people. I'm going to take 01:29:38.399 --> 01:29:41.199 this and for our relationship, all my acts of 01:29:41.199 --> 01:29:43.340 good, I'm going to equate it to this situation. 01:29:43.659 --> 01:29:45.800 That's how I healed myself from it. So basically, 01:29:46.039 --> 01:29:50.680 at what point when you're in prison would you 01:29:50.680 --> 01:29:54.140 say, I'm going to 100 % focus on love and healing 01:29:54.140 --> 01:29:57.640 others? 1997 to your point. I don't know where 01:29:57.640 --> 01:30:02.079 y 'all getting this stuff from. And the audience 01:30:02.079 --> 01:30:04.560 probably knows if you look me up, I'm in process 01:30:04.560 --> 01:30:07.739 of getting all the social media. I've done a 01:30:07.739 --> 01:30:10.020 lot of talking. And I was one of my friends, 01:30:10.100 --> 01:30:13.720 very similar to y 'all in background. He told 01:30:13.720 --> 01:30:16.460 me, he said, bro, you coming out here doing your 01:30:16.460 --> 01:30:19.640 stuff, we know. And we was the people who went 01:30:19.640 --> 01:30:21.319 to the government and told them that you need 01:30:21.319 --> 01:30:22.739 to consider these guys before you get out of 01:30:22.739 --> 01:30:29.140 office. High net person picked me up in a Tesla, 01:30:29.260 --> 01:30:35.359 driving himself, 19 to 2018. And I'd never been 01:30:35.359 --> 01:30:38.300 in a car driving myself. And had swivel seats. 01:30:39.020 --> 01:30:41.680 So, whoo, and swiveled over. And we promised 01:30:41.680 --> 01:30:43.460 we were going to be free. Got out in 2017, right? 01:30:43.500 --> 01:30:45.779 2018. Okay. And he was one of the guys that was 01:30:45.779 --> 01:30:50.600 very instrumental of making me feel like I can 01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:52.220 get out here and get out. You know, you've been 01:30:52.220 --> 01:30:54.359 in prison doing that. And so I was a part of 01:30:54.359 --> 01:30:58.359 a program in which they would bring high net 01:30:58.359 --> 01:31:01.939 people into the prisons. The head of Apple came. 01:31:02.140 --> 01:31:05.819 The head of Uber came. All of them. And I didn't 01:31:05.819 --> 01:31:08.079 know who none of them was. And so hugging on 01:31:08.079 --> 01:31:11.000 them, they got just up and fell. And hey, man, 01:31:11.039 --> 01:31:12.739 you're the first person who ever hugged me and 01:31:12.739 --> 01:31:14.300 really loved me because you don't even know who 01:31:14.300 --> 01:31:17.819 I am. So it's nothing to get as I didn't. I didn't 01:31:17.819 --> 01:31:20.060 know the word Uber. I didn't know the tall, skinny 01:31:20.060 --> 01:31:23.500 guy from Apple. And I met him, and man, when 01:31:23.500 --> 01:31:24.939 you get out, we don't even know people like you 01:31:24.939 --> 01:31:26.720 exist. You know, all these people. I ain't even 01:31:26.720 --> 01:31:29.039 reached out to these people yet. So my point 01:31:29.039 --> 01:31:31.140 of it is, I talked to one, it's him and his wife, 01:31:31.260 --> 01:31:33.819 about two years ago, how I stay in touch with 01:31:33.819 --> 01:31:37.560 him. And he said, Tobias. Go ahead and get your 01:31:37.560 --> 01:31:41.619 social media going so you can dictate. When somebody 01:31:41.619 --> 01:31:45.739 says Tobias Tubbs, you curate what you want people 01:31:45.739 --> 01:31:49.279 to know about you. And so when people say, I 01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:52.220 heard this podcast, you know, I'm not that even 01:31:52.220 --> 01:31:54.020 met an organ. I'm like, where are people getting 01:31:54.020 --> 01:31:58.880 this from? So, yes, 97 is when they stopped family 01:31:58.880 --> 01:32:01.100 visits. And when they stopped family visits, 01:32:01.180 --> 01:32:03.439 that was the first blow, conjugal visits. Me 01:32:03.439 --> 01:32:06.909 and Star Reese, she became. My everything. She 01:32:06.909 --> 01:32:10.390 became my sanity. She became my muse. Everything 01:32:10.390 --> 01:32:13.270 I learned about femininity, the soul, masculine 01:32:13.270 --> 01:32:15.909 femininity in the words and books, ancient mythologies 01:32:15.909 --> 01:32:18.630 about women, feminine earth, feminine heart, 01:32:18.689 --> 01:32:21.050 feminine soul, Sakina, the feminine presence 01:32:21.050 --> 01:32:22.869 of God. You know, this is the kind of stuff, 01:32:22.989 --> 01:32:24.909 man, I got like two and a half days on a family 01:32:24.909 --> 01:32:27.670 visit to entertain. I wanted to know everything 01:32:27.670 --> 01:32:30.329 about her, every nuance of skin. You know, I 01:32:30.329 --> 01:32:32.909 was on one. Because this woman is driving past 01:32:32.909 --> 01:32:36.500 life. A million dudes to get here to me. And 01:32:36.500 --> 01:32:40.739 so I took it very seriously. So her leaving was 01:32:40.739 --> 01:32:44.100 the first blow. And then my best friend, Troy 01:32:44.100 --> 01:32:49.659 Bartholomew, I asked him recently, looked him 01:32:49.659 --> 01:32:54.939 in the eye. He's like, why'd you leave me, bro? 01:32:55.880 --> 01:32:58.739 I want straight words, bro. Don't drop your head. 01:32:58.800 --> 01:33:01.319 Don't drop your eyes, brother. And he's formidable. 01:33:01.960 --> 01:33:06.159 I think he's the best of us. He taught me. People 01:33:06.159 --> 01:33:08.119 don't even know his name. Everybody knows my 01:33:08.119 --> 01:33:10.460 name. But I would be nothing without him because 01:33:10.460 --> 01:33:13.359 he knew that I was a leader before I knew I was 01:33:13.359 --> 01:33:15.819 a leader. He said, bro, I didn't leave you. They 01:33:15.819 --> 01:33:20.159 took me. I know. They took him where? To another 01:33:20.159 --> 01:33:24.939 prison. So then I had to make a choice. Am I 01:33:24.939 --> 01:33:27.159 doing? He was one of the guys that you. Oh, yeah. 01:33:27.199 --> 01:33:29.439 This is one of the guys who started the movement 01:33:29.439 --> 01:33:31.500 that I started in prison that took over the whole 01:33:31.500 --> 01:33:34.180 prison. Okay. Right. His name is Troy Betholibu. 01:33:34.539 --> 01:33:40.060 He's a few years older than me. And, you know, 01:33:40.140 --> 01:33:47.340 he's an amazing person. And I wouldn't take a 01:33:47.340 --> 01:33:49.640 jail cell. I was having fun, to be truthful. 01:33:50.000 --> 01:33:54.739 You know, 27 years old. You know, beat the case, 01:33:54.800 --> 01:33:58.779 sue them. And I married my girl. You know, we 01:33:58.779 --> 01:34:00.359 had a little something -something. My father 01:34:00.359 --> 01:34:02.460 still had a contracting company. I married a 01:34:02.460 --> 01:34:07.479 son. Ah, you know, my bad. Ah, so when they denied 01:34:07.479 --> 01:34:13.279 my case, I'm like, what? It's like, I remember 01:34:13.279 --> 01:34:16.979 the elders. They actually feel bad for me, although 01:34:16.979 --> 01:34:19.399 thousands of people got the same sentence I got. 01:34:19.949 --> 01:34:22.069 Just like, man, youngster, man. You're like, 01:34:22.170 --> 01:34:26.689 this is a good person. And so I remember it was 01:34:26.689 --> 01:34:30.050 two skinhead white supremacists on each side 01:34:30.050 --> 01:34:32.369 of me. And you could hear them sharpening the 01:34:32.369 --> 01:34:35.810 metal. And then the white guards used to bring 01:34:35.810 --> 01:34:40.909 in real knives. And so I'm sitting there and, 01:34:40.989 --> 01:34:46.069 you know, I'm fighting rage. My girl go, do you 01:34:46.069 --> 01:34:51.800 think you're sweet on Melo? Oh, man. I'm sweet. 01:34:52.380 --> 01:34:54.720 And you feel me? I'm talking about, man, mom 01:34:54.720 --> 01:34:57.119 was concentrated. You know, you and her can experience 01:34:57.119 --> 01:34:59.880 the whole world, y 'all. Man, all of ours on 01:34:59.880 --> 01:35:02.539 our hearts and his. And we experienced everything 01:35:02.539 --> 01:35:07.060 y 'all experienced on a family visit. That's 01:35:07.060 --> 01:35:10.920 it. You feel me? That's how amazing me and her 01:35:10.920 --> 01:35:14.819 love is. And it was, is. And so I'm ready to 01:35:14.819 --> 01:35:17.329 hurt somebody. Behind that pain, you know, you 01:35:17.329 --> 01:35:20.170 don't want to feel the pain. So anger feels better. 01:35:20.250 --> 01:35:23.869 It does. The hormones, the adrenaline, you want 01:35:23.869 --> 01:35:25.869 to do something. So I'm having to restrain it. 01:35:26.250 --> 01:35:29.829 And then I got the letter from the brothers in 01:35:29.829 --> 01:35:32.869 the other yard. Yeah, bro gone. Now I'm feeling 01:35:32.869 --> 01:35:36.529 abandoned. Oh, and they sharpened his knives. 01:35:36.770 --> 01:35:38.949 And in prison. Are you starting to question, 01:35:39.069 --> 01:35:42.649 like? The belief that you had or the faith that 01:35:42.649 --> 01:35:45.529 you had? Not the belief. Are you trying to challenge 01:35:45.529 --> 01:35:48.869 God? Not challenge God. I was being challenged 01:35:48.869 --> 01:35:52.829 because violence is the currency. He ain't never 01:35:52.829 --> 01:35:54.750 fought nobody. He ain't killed nobody. He just 01:35:54.750 --> 01:35:56.670 got a bunch of killers around him. So that was 01:35:56.670 --> 01:35:59.149 like what people were saying back then. He ain't 01:35:59.149 --> 01:36:00.890 no killer. He ain't no real leader. Somehow he 01:36:00.890 --> 01:36:03.229 even convinced these killers that he's somebody. 01:36:03.470 --> 01:36:06.899 But, I mean, I feel like. This, at this moment, 01:36:06.960 --> 01:36:10.039 is your lowest low because your chance of appealing 01:36:10.039 --> 01:36:12.520 is gone. Yeah. Your best friend is gone. Yep, 01:36:12.520 --> 01:36:15.500 yep, yep. And your wife is gone. Yep. Oh, yeah, 01:36:15.539 --> 01:36:17.060 this is low and low because I'm really considering. 01:36:17.300 --> 01:36:19.119 How do you get out of this? Oh, right here, I 01:36:19.119 --> 01:36:22.079 got you. So as they sharpen and you got to watch 01:36:22.079 --> 01:36:24.680 your imagination or they're going to stab you. 01:36:26.239 --> 01:36:27.920 You know they're coming at you because they always 01:36:27.920 --> 01:36:30.760 come at the leader. That's their politics, whites, 01:36:30.899 --> 01:36:35.609 Hispanic, and police. Kill the leader. We go 01:36:35.609 --> 01:36:37.550 out there and throw some punches just so you 01:36:37.550 --> 01:36:40.090 can say you fought. You know, poke somebody in 01:36:40.090 --> 01:36:42.670 the leg so you can say you fought. They coming 01:36:42.670 --> 01:36:44.369 at you to kill you. They trying to get to the 01:36:44.369 --> 01:36:46.710 neck, big knife, kill you. So you know that. 01:36:46.750 --> 01:36:49.069 And I know I'm a target. So if you're sitting 01:36:49.069 --> 01:36:51.949 in the cell, you're on lockdown, the whispers, 01:36:52.050 --> 01:36:53.670 oh, they're going to kill you. Then I start seeing 01:36:53.670 --> 01:36:56.710 my mama crying. So this is what's after my head 01:36:56.710 --> 01:37:02.310 up. I'm seeing my little sister. I'm seeing my 01:37:02.310 --> 01:37:06.229 father. Oh, man. I'm going to kill them. This 01:37:06.229 --> 01:37:08.970 is how this shit go. I'm going to get them. I'm 01:37:08.970 --> 01:37:10.310 going to come out on him. I'm going to give it 01:37:10.310 --> 01:37:12.590 to him. I'm going to take his knife and stab 01:37:12.590 --> 01:37:15.069 him. Like you're in a movie, and you will summon 01:37:15.069 --> 01:37:19.750 that into your spirit. I'm sitting there thinking, 01:37:19.949 --> 01:37:23.789 thinking, thinking, and it just hit me. Like, 01:37:23.810 --> 01:37:25.550 yeah, you can do that. Seriously, this is how 01:37:25.550 --> 01:37:28.550 me and a lot of hearts from God talk. This is 01:37:28.550 --> 01:37:30.949 what I'm talking to y 'all. It ain't no war I'm 01:37:30.949 --> 01:37:32.710 going to. No, it's just real life, like two partners. 01:37:33.319 --> 01:37:35.739 You know, he's a creator, man. This is my dude. 01:37:35.880 --> 01:37:38.720 This is my beloved. Real talk, real shit. I'm 01:37:38.720 --> 01:37:42.060 talking about belief, conviction, and gratitude. 01:37:43.600 --> 01:37:47.319 So, well, you can always start hurting people. 01:37:48.880 --> 01:37:54.359 But how about give love a chance? And if it don't 01:37:54.359 --> 01:37:56.819 work, you can always go to... But once you start 01:37:56.819 --> 01:37:59.539 on that road, you go into acid, you go into the 01:37:59.539 --> 01:38:02.220 shoe, my spirit gonna be on that. And then I'm 01:38:02.220 --> 01:38:03.800 just going to be on that. Then my boys are going 01:38:03.800 --> 01:38:05.619 to go. Then my crew are going to go. Then if 01:38:05.619 --> 01:38:07.300 somebody kills me, my father is going to be on 01:38:07.300 --> 01:38:10.359 one. So I'm thinking, so let me give. Okay, so 01:38:10.359 --> 01:38:16.460 1997 is when I committed myself. I wrote to Wharton 01:38:16.460 --> 01:38:18.720 and told her I was no longer a Muslim, that I 01:38:18.720 --> 01:38:21.920 created my own form of Buddhism, literally, and 01:38:21.920 --> 01:38:25.579 I did. Because that's when the old president 01:38:25.579 --> 01:38:27.840 got up there and said, the Folsom Initiative 01:38:27.840 --> 01:38:30.220 Act is a new kind of terrorist, and they're being 01:38:30.220 --> 01:38:32.680 grown. And we're gonna come down on these guys 01:38:32.680 --> 01:38:35.619 and we're gonna come get them. So my idea was, 01:38:35.720 --> 01:38:39.399 let me get out of anything that go in. I had 01:38:39.399 --> 01:38:41.460 these people talking to me about nothing. So 01:38:41.460 --> 01:38:44.899 I literally wrote the warden a manifesto of sorts. 01:38:45.579 --> 01:38:50.140 And I broke down Buddhism, Krishna, who I am. 01:38:50.239 --> 01:38:52.279 And I'm, oh yeah, I got my own forward of Buddha. 01:38:52.359 --> 01:38:54.020 It's called something shocking. But literally, 01:38:54.100 --> 01:38:56.180 literally, man, I was just like, man, them people 01:38:56.180 --> 01:38:59.300 used to confiscate my stuff and steal my stuff 01:38:59.300 --> 01:39:03.569 out. So my whole thing is I'm giving my life 01:39:03.569 --> 01:39:06.069 totally. And it wasn't that I denounced Islam, 01:39:06.369 --> 01:39:08.789 Christianity, anything else. Just leave me the 01:39:08.789 --> 01:39:11.569 hell alone, man. You just want to be loved. That's 01:39:11.569 --> 01:39:15.569 it. You chose love. And so that's going to be 01:39:15.569 --> 01:39:18.510 tested. So I ended up getting moved off of that 01:39:18.510 --> 01:39:21.270 yard three years later. And so I went to Sea 01:39:21.270 --> 01:39:25.029 Yard. And remember, no one is normally in a state 01:39:25.029 --> 01:39:28.250 prison for this amount of years. I was there 01:39:28.250 --> 01:39:30.739 for 20 years. Normally, one, two years, three, 01:39:30.779 --> 01:39:33.579 you're going someplace. Riots, woo -woo. I've 01:39:33.579 --> 01:39:37.319 always been held down. You know, God has already 01:39:37.319 --> 01:39:41.119 put love in people's heart for me and invested 01:39:41.119 --> 01:39:43.600 in whatever I'm on, you know? So how did you 01:39:43.600 --> 01:39:45.699 get out? Tell us quickly how you got out. How 01:39:45.699 --> 01:39:48.300 did you get out? Because we need to know that 01:39:48.300 --> 01:39:50.520 part. Wait, before we go there, I want to hear 01:39:50.520 --> 01:39:53.000 a few more stories. Can we do that? Okay. Okay. 01:39:54.380 --> 01:39:58.300 I want to hear. I want to hear. Once you chose 01:39:58.300 --> 01:40:02.340 in 1997 love. Yeah. Of course, you know, you're 01:40:02.340 --> 01:40:06.779 in prison. People are going to come at you with 01:40:06.779 --> 01:40:10.439 knives, with trying to kill you. If you had a 01:40:10.439 --> 01:40:12.500 situation where literally somebody was coming 01:40:12.500 --> 01:40:14.640 at you to try and kill you and you turn them 01:40:14.640 --> 01:40:17.939 around. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We're going 01:40:17.939 --> 01:40:19.680 to get to the yard I got out of them. So I'm 01:40:19.680 --> 01:40:23.550 going to. more viral between the husband at the 01:40:23.550 --> 01:40:26.590 same time. We go to a place called California 01:40:26.590 --> 01:40:29.550 State Prison, California State Prison. It's in 01:40:29.550 --> 01:40:32.630 Lancaster. And it's a whole different kind of 01:40:32.630 --> 01:40:37.010 spot because the yard is actually ran by prisoners, 01:40:37.250 --> 01:40:39.529 you know. And it was heard that, you know, these 01:40:39.529 --> 01:40:41.430 guys are going for the gig, man. These dudes 01:40:41.430 --> 01:40:43.470 are doing things. So they called it an honor 01:40:43.470 --> 01:40:45.289 yard. And people said there was no honor in it. 01:40:45.369 --> 01:40:48.369 So they called it a progressive program facility. 01:40:49.319 --> 01:40:51.920 And although I wasn't a violent person in the 01:40:51.920 --> 01:40:54.399 first 20 years of the time, but I used to leverage 01:40:54.399 --> 01:40:56.859 violence. Okay, if you don't listen, you get 01:40:56.859 --> 01:40:58.579 stabbed. If you don't listen, you get stabbed. 01:40:58.699 --> 01:41:01.939 So I was leveraging violence. I figured this 01:41:01.939 --> 01:41:04.119 out later on. Yeah, you shouldn't even be leveraging 01:41:04.119 --> 01:41:07.560 violence either. So there, violence wasn't on 01:41:07.560 --> 01:41:09.859 the table because people were not hurting each 01:41:09.859 --> 01:41:14.380 other. Until this incident, this leader, he was 01:41:14.380 --> 01:41:18.909 intimidated. So he sent... Two guys at me. He's 01:41:18.909 --> 01:41:22.390 over there watching, whoever he told. But by 01:41:22.390 --> 01:41:30.029 that time, I've been so deep off into my path. 01:41:31.930 --> 01:41:35.470 Belief. I believe, as most people who believe 01:41:35.470 --> 01:41:39.090 in the Torah, the Bible, the Quran, the Meta 01:41:39.090 --> 01:41:43.750 Netter, in netters or angels, and I believe that 01:41:43.750 --> 01:41:46.989 the angelic realm, fifth dimension, that births 01:41:46.989 --> 01:41:52.430 the fourth dimension, is under our control, what 01:41:52.430 --> 01:41:57.770 they know us. Just like Alex knows me. And so 01:41:57.770 --> 01:42:02.270 we believe that there's the light of God in the 01:42:02.270 --> 01:42:05.949 form of angels control body parts and lungs and 01:42:05.949 --> 01:42:08.750 stuff. And I was really into studying systems. 01:42:09.250 --> 01:42:11.890 So I used to show my friends that, bro, you don't 01:42:11.890 --> 01:42:15.380 have to. Brother, I know who runs people, you 01:42:15.380 --> 01:42:17.840 know, showing up in people's dreams. And so at 01:42:17.840 --> 01:42:21.819 that time, just to give context, I've already 01:42:21.819 --> 01:42:25.819 been so involved in the spiritual world and knowing 01:42:25.819 --> 01:42:29.300 that the cosmos is my limbs, so if my mouth is 01:42:29.300 --> 01:42:32.420 shut, she'll speak for me. If my hands can't 01:42:32.420 --> 01:42:35.159 reach it, she'll touch for me. I've experienced 01:42:35.159 --> 01:42:37.460 that, and I'm grateful, believe. I'm convicted 01:42:37.460 --> 01:42:40.800 when that happens, and I'm grateful, so it magnifies 01:42:40.800 --> 01:42:43.439 it. So I see it coming. So one guy come this 01:42:43.439 --> 01:42:45.979 way and one guy comes over. He's supposed to 01:42:45.979 --> 01:42:48.779 be stabbing me and getting me off the yard. So 01:42:48.779 --> 01:42:51.479 there's one big cat, you know, a little smaller 01:42:51.479 --> 01:42:55.279 cat. And so about time they get hands distance. 01:42:57.319 --> 01:43:02.699 It's not the Arabic that I spoke. It's words 01:43:02.699 --> 01:43:12.939 of authority. So I paused them. What? Yeah. I 01:43:12.939 --> 01:43:15.380 say you peace in the name of Allah and the blessings 01:43:15.380 --> 01:43:19.340 and the mercy upon him. I said a couple more 01:43:19.340 --> 01:43:22.939 words. So they look, you don't even know me. 01:43:23.560 --> 01:43:27.600 And so I'm speaking to your spirit. And I told 01:43:27.600 --> 01:43:29.760 them to give me the knives. I took them with 01:43:29.760 --> 01:43:32.520 my left hand. So they gave me their knives after 01:43:32.520 --> 01:43:36.340 I disarmed them. Wow. The main one, the main 01:43:36.340 --> 01:43:40.560 one, because normally the older one. The young 01:43:40.560 --> 01:43:43.939 one is driving off his energy anyway. So they 01:43:43.939 --> 01:43:45.539 gave me the knife. Well, then first I'm going 01:43:45.539 --> 01:43:51.180 to toss the knife. And I say, now listen, I know 01:43:51.180 --> 01:43:55.300 who I am in the spiritual world. Yeah. I know 01:43:55.300 --> 01:43:58.439 the Oregon is the element in which every mighty 01:43:58.439 --> 01:44:03.279 soul, Joseph, is the element in oxygen that all 01:44:03.279 --> 01:44:06.920 of us are breathing. And you can activate the 01:44:06.920 --> 01:44:11.699 consciousness, the spirit of David. of anybody, 01:44:11.859 --> 01:44:14.060 Goliath, Hitler, whoever you want to. You can 01:44:14.060 --> 01:44:16.899 tap into whoever you want to tap into. And your 01:44:16.899 --> 01:44:21.000 body become a medium to their love. And so whoever 01:44:21.000 --> 01:44:25.319 I was on at that time, you know, I'd be mediating 01:44:25.319 --> 01:44:28.420 energy. That's just energy. So I said, you go 01:44:28.420 --> 01:44:30.979 that way and you go that way and you go hug him. 01:44:32.020 --> 01:44:35.159 And they went and everybody on the yard started 01:44:35.159 --> 01:44:37.680 laughing. Because he'd get to moving, because 01:44:37.680 --> 01:44:39.060 he'd think they'd still got the knife. They'd 01:44:39.060 --> 01:44:42.920 come to stab him, and they grabbed him. And they're 01:44:42.920 --> 01:44:44.819 hugging on him, and everybody started laughing. 01:44:45.439 --> 01:44:49.039 And since that time, there was no more physical 01:44:49.039 --> 01:44:52.939 violence towards me, but a lot of psychological 01:44:52.939 --> 01:44:56.640 games. Because the people was working, not to 01:44:56.640 --> 01:44:58.439 defame these brothers, but they was working with 01:44:58.439 --> 01:45:00.819 the police on New York. So the police didn't 01:45:00.819 --> 01:45:02.840 have to torment you. They let your peers torment 01:45:02.840 --> 01:45:05.539 you. And so what it did for me, it flattened 01:45:05.539 --> 01:45:08.960 me all the way out. I went down to probably 180 01:45:08.960 --> 01:45:13.060 pounds, started fasting. I was dog training at 01:45:13.060 --> 01:45:16.079 the time. They're saying these are traumatized 01:45:16.079 --> 01:45:19.819 dogs, and so I can relate very easily to the 01:45:19.819 --> 01:45:22.859 trauma because they're honest. You know, we hide 01:45:22.859 --> 01:45:26.239 and we play. But dogs, when they trust you, they 01:45:26.239 --> 01:45:27.880 trust you. And they'll tell you who hurt them 01:45:27.880 --> 01:45:30.279 and how they hurt them. So I was a dog whisperer. 01:45:30.300 --> 01:45:32.119 I didn't believe in, like, the training methods. 01:45:32.779 --> 01:45:35.720 that were being used on them. So I was put in 01:45:35.720 --> 01:45:38.220 position. There's love on them. And the roughest 01:45:38.220 --> 01:45:43.119 ones. And so that was a lot of healing for me 01:45:43.119 --> 01:45:44.800 because the love was unconditional. It was very 01:45:44.800 --> 01:45:47.680 difficult for us to love each other unconditionally 01:45:47.680 --> 01:45:49.840 because we're coming from so much distrust, so 01:45:49.840 --> 01:45:52.359 much the circumstances, the situations. You're 01:45:52.359 --> 01:45:53.619 a black, you're a white, you're a man, I'm a 01:45:53.619 --> 01:45:56.000 woman. Whoa, whoa, whoa. But them dogs, when 01:45:56.000 --> 01:45:58.539 they come in there, oh my God. Dogs are the best. 01:45:58.680 --> 01:46:04.100 Oh, they loved on me. So that. And then I was 01:46:04.100 --> 01:46:07.739 over the trauma healing program. Then I was placed 01:46:07.739 --> 01:46:10.560 over the educational program with Dr. Badon Roy. 01:46:10.739 --> 01:46:14.199 When the Obama's Pell Grant came out, he was 01:46:14.199 --> 01:46:17.880 over a few prisons. So they needed a bridge on 01:46:17.880 --> 01:46:21.239 how to get incarcerated people with life without 01:46:21.239 --> 01:46:23.600 sentences to school. So I became the bridge. 01:46:23.720 --> 01:46:27.640 We created a form of critical pedagogy in which 01:46:27.640 --> 01:46:31.960 I would dissect the books. and various subjects 01:46:31.960 --> 01:46:34.260 and invite people inside those spaces and become 01:46:34.260 --> 01:46:36.600 like a bridge. And we did that with great success. 01:46:36.979 --> 01:46:40.380 So all this is getting me towards that very active 01:46:40.380 --> 01:46:44.199 in the chapel and applying services. And last 01:46:44.199 --> 01:46:47.020 but not least, we was the first one to plant 01:46:47.020 --> 01:46:50.039 some flowers in a prison, a level four prison. 01:46:50.159 --> 01:46:52.760 So we had the inside gardening program. I was 01:46:52.760 --> 01:46:55.079 the lead because I was the lead in transforming 01:46:55.079 --> 01:46:59.260 trauma. into resilience. And so that instructor, 01:46:59.279 --> 01:47:01.760 he was given the gardening program. And so we 01:47:01.760 --> 01:47:04.239 got a full buy -in from the warden, from everybody. 01:47:05.319 --> 01:47:10.180 Dr. Corelli, she was over inmate health at the 01:47:10.180 --> 01:47:14.619 medical facility. And so for six years, she unofficially, 01:47:14.619 --> 01:47:18.600 unofficially put me over the whole medical facility. 01:47:18.680 --> 01:47:22.079 And that's where the governor was brought to, 01:47:22.159 --> 01:47:25.440 I was brought to the governor's attention. The 01:47:25.440 --> 01:47:28.699 artists called Common, they came there for a 01:47:28.699 --> 01:47:33.039 concert. And, you know, there's a lot of celebrity 01:47:33.039 --> 01:47:35.859 types that was coming to this particular yard. 01:47:36.039 --> 01:47:37.680 So he was going to come to a concert. I'm in 01:47:37.680 --> 01:47:40.359 the bed minding my business because over my journey 01:47:40.359 --> 01:47:42.760 at this time, it's almost 30 years, 28 years 01:47:42.760 --> 01:47:46.520 that I know if God has something for me, I don't 01:47:46.520 --> 01:47:48.859 have to put myself forward. If I don't have to 01:47:48.859 --> 01:47:51.239 be banging on the door, why I'm not there. There 01:47:51.239 --> 01:47:54.699 was a guy that came up the F -Row. named Chico. 01:47:54.920 --> 01:47:57.579 He was on death row with the brother Tookie, 01:47:57.680 --> 01:48:00.640 Stanley Williams, who they assassinated one of 01:48:00.640 --> 01:48:04.039 the heads of the Crips. And he had a book that 01:48:04.039 --> 01:48:06.640 the brother wrote on how to galvanize the youth 01:48:06.640 --> 01:48:09.359 and the Crips and the Bloods. And he wanted this 01:48:09.359 --> 01:48:11.439 to be like his manifesto to the world since they 01:48:11.439 --> 01:48:13.739 took his life. And so he tried to get me the 01:48:13.739 --> 01:48:15.840 book. And so I told him, no, bro, I'm going to 01:48:15.840 --> 01:48:17.819 help you get off because I don't want the weight 01:48:17.819 --> 01:48:21.460 of that. And so he goes to the officer. And he 01:48:21.460 --> 01:48:26.060 says, let Tobias out, Tubbs. He's the spokesman 01:48:26.060 --> 01:48:29.520 for CDC. He's the spokesman for the people. And 01:48:29.520 --> 01:48:32.159 so I'm in there minding my business. And matter 01:48:32.159 --> 01:48:34.439 of fact, I'm about to go to sleep. And the door 01:48:34.439 --> 01:48:38.760 came open. My warden, and I say my warden because 01:48:38.760 --> 01:48:43.960 she put my name herself for the commutation, 01:48:44.260 --> 01:48:50.279 Debbie Soshone, in common. And they set me in 01:48:50.279 --> 01:48:53.060 a way, because this is a town hall meeting, because 01:48:53.060 --> 01:48:55.260 the wind was blowing, the eastern wind, the same 01:48:55.260 --> 01:48:58.380 wind that's blowing now, and fires. It's the 01:48:58.380 --> 01:49:02.439 eastern wind. David had control of the eastern 01:49:02.439 --> 01:49:07.460 wind. And so I'm sitting there, and they're trying 01:49:07.460 --> 01:49:09.260 to get me to speak, but I keep telling Chico, 01:49:09.340 --> 01:49:11.180 you can't put a quarter on my back and just think 01:49:11.180 --> 01:49:12.720 I'm going to talk. I had to speak through inspiration. 01:49:13.659 --> 01:49:16.560 You know, I practiced like 28 years talking in 01:49:16.560 --> 01:49:22.000 the mirror, you know, prolific speaker. And so 01:49:22.000 --> 01:49:26.260 somebody said to Common, somebody I met at the 01:49:26.260 --> 01:49:28.539 Inside Garden program, he said, yeah, Common, 01:49:28.659 --> 01:49:30.640 if we want to see you, we'll pay for a concert. 01:49:30.720 --> 01:49:34.439 We want Tobias to speak. And this was a person 01:49:34.439 --> 01:49:37.039 in the audience. And then he was like, yeah, 01:49:37.180 --> 01:49:39.350 where are you at? And the way I was sitting, 01:49:39.529 --> 01:49:41.689 it looked like this was all set up for me for 01:49:41.689 --> 01:49:45.329 what it was. And so, you know, I could have came, 01:49:45.449 --> 01:49:48.689 but I couldn't have. But I heard God said, make 01:49:48.689 --> 01:49:52.750 him laugh. And I looked straight at Nancy McFadden, 01:49:52.829 --> 01:49:57.890 like she was the only person in the room. And 01:49:57.890 --> 01:50:06.939 I made her laugh about how ridiculous. it is 01:50:06.939 --> 01:50:10.859 for me to be here and uh after i spoke and uh 01:50:10.859 --> 01:50:13.720 in contact and uh a little comment all this stuff 01:50:13.720 --> 01:50:16.579 is on film she ran and uh you know i had been 01:50:16.579 --> 01:50:18.760 touched by a woman outside my family and so long 01:50:18.760 --> 01:50:22.619 she grabbed my face and she said tobias and i 01:50:22.619 --> 01:50:25.699 could feel the heat of her breath she said i'm 01:50:25.699 --> 01:50:29.800 a tell jerry the governor to let you out of here 01:50:29.800 --> 01:50:37.130 yeah she hugged me and i kissed her and uh She 01:50:37.130 --> 01:50:39.449 had a cat named Daniel. I still ain't found yet. 01:50:39.890 --> 01:50:42.529 And people know that I was her last act of kindness 01:50:42.529 --> 01:50:45.590 because she passed. And those who are in the 01:50:45.590 --> 01:50:48.649 circles know that that lady put your name on 01:50:48.649 --> 01:50:54.329 the governor's desk. And she passed. She passed 01:50:54.329 --> 01:50:58.550 soon after? Soon after. How long did that take 01:50:58.550 --> 01:51:02.609 from her recommendation? You know, it wasn't 01:51:02.609 --> 01:51:04.390 just for me. Everybody who participated that 01:51:04.390 --> 01:51:08.050 night got a commutation. I was out probably within 01:51:08.050 --> 01:51:10.289 a year. Me and Tom really don't get along sometimes, 01:51:10.449 --> 01:51:12.810 but it didn't take long because I just went from 01:51:12.810 --> 01:51:15.869 life without the possibility of parole down to 01:51:15.869 --> 01:51:17.930 25 to life. I already been in enough time so 01:51:17.930 --> 01:51:20.090 you go to the board. So I just had to go to the 01:51:20.090 --> 01:51:23.029 board. That's what took the extra time. I went 01:51:23.029 --> 01:51:25.810 to the board, longest board in CDC history, seven 01:51:25.810 --> 01:51:29.010 hours, because I still had the CDC as what? Department 01:51:29.010 --> 01:51:31.689 of Corrections, California Department of Corrections. 01:51:31.689 --> 01:51:34.670 And you get a commutation on the truth, but the 01:51:34.670 --> 01:51:37.989 system is so, everybody's working in a vacuum. 01:51:38.250 --> 01:51:42.189 Yeah. And so the commutation board is not in 01:51:42.189 --> 01:51:49.479 sync with the normal parole board. So, I got 01:51:49.479 --> 01:51:51.760 a commutation on the truth. I was not in the 01:51:51.760 --> 01:51:53.859 house. This is what happened. Blah, blah, blah, 01:51:53.920 --> 01:51:56.739 blah, blah. When you go there before the commissioner, 01:51:57.020 --> 01:52:00.920 you have to testify to what you convicted of. 01:52:01.279 --> 01:52:06.180 Aided in the bedding, murder, setting up the 01:52:06.180 --> 01:52:09.539 murders, and all that. Seven hours. Commissioner 01:52:09.539 --> 01:52:13.140 Montez. I love you, Commissioner Montez. Yeah, 01:52:13.159 --> 01:52:16.920 she retired after me as well. Seven hours. drilling 01:52:16.920 --> 01:52:19.699 me, going at it. So you basically had to explain 01:52:19.699 --> 01:52:22.619 to them how you were wrongfully convicted. No, 01:52:22.659 --> 01:52:25.119 I took another approach. Oh, I told them how 01:52:25.119 --> 01:52:28.399 I did it. So she said, Mr. Tubbs, this is after 01:52:28.399 --> 01:52:32.979 about four hours, and sitting like this with 01:52:32.979 --> 01:52:35.560 your neck cracking when she's drilling and dancing 01:52:35.560 --> 01:52:40.420 and prancing, and she said, Mr. Tubbs, if you're 01:52:40.420 --> 01:52:42.220 about to go down this rabbit hole, I'm going 01:52:42.220 --> 01:52:43.800 to make sure, because they know I wasn't in the 01:52:43.800 --> 01:52:46.890 house. ah that you spent the rest of your life 01:52:46.890 --> 01:52:49.289 in prison and i rose my right hand and i said 01:52:49.289 --> 01:52:52.390 ma 'am i already vowed to tell the truth and 01:52:52.390 --> 01:52:54.489 nothing but the truth will help me die she said 01:52:54.489 --> 01:52:57.729 it's your life mr tubbs and i kind of explained 01:52:57.729 --> 01:53:00.829 that cases in many it's not premeditated it's 01:53:00.829 --> 01:53:03.789 not within that moment it's a lot of small events 01:53:03.789 --> 01:53:06.529 that come up you mean so she was telling you 01:53:06.529 --> 01:53:10.909 that if you basically don't just Just say you 01:53:10.909 --> 01:53:13.430 did it because then I can let you free. Yeah, 01:53:13.449 --> 01:53:14.930 that's what I'm going to say. You live. But if 01:53:14.930 --> 01:53:17.250 you're going to sit here and tell me that you 01:53:17.250 --> 01:53:20.789 committed these murders and we know that you 01:53:20.789 --> 01:53:23.810 didn't commit the murder, that it wasn't so much 01:53:23.810 --> 01:53:25.829 because she actually denied me. She actually 01:53:25.829 --> 01:53:28.270 denied me. She denied me suitability, which meant 01:53:28.270 --> 01:53:30.640 I would have still been in prison. And so the 01:53:30.640 --> 01:53:33.359 whole point of it was there is an energy. It's 01:53:33.359 --> 01:53:35.100 not just that, okay, I'm going to wake up this 01:53:35.100 --> 01:53:37.460 morning and I'm going to hurt somebody. No one 01:53:37.460 --> 01:53:39.640 just wakes up and hurts somebody. Normally it's 01:53:39.640 --> 01:53:41.340 some stuff that has to happen along the way to 01:53:41.340 --> 01:53:43.739 get to that point. Yeah. And my point was I fed 01:53:43.739 --> 01:53:45.699 into that energy. Did I tell them to do that? 01:53:45.760 --> 01:53:49.880 No. Did I set this up? No. Yeah. But it was a 01:53:49.880 --> 01:53:52.300 lifetime before that. It's all that's happened 01:53:52.300 --> 01:53:55.960 in my community that has us to have the potentiality 01:53:55.960 --> 01:53:58.760 and acceptability and confidence to harm somebody. 01:53:59.340 --> 01:54:01.260 Because we feel we're harmed or we're going to 01:54:01.260 --> 01:54:04.380 be harmed. That was my point. She denied me. 01:54:04.779 --> 01:54:10.439 And it was that officer. I typed a letter. Because 01:54:10.439 --> 01:54:14.180 you have to show remorse. I've never killed nobody. 01:54:14.420 --> 01:54:15.939 I've never hurt nobody. So how am I going to 01:54:15.939 --> 01:54:19.000 show remorse for the death? So we was doing healing 01:54:19.000 --> 01:54:21.579 circles with mothers who lost their children. 01:54:21.699 --> 01:54:24.199 And I was the lead on the healing circle. So 01:54:24.199 --> 01:54:28.770 I took a vow. I took a vow. that my hands will 01:54:28.770 --> 01:54:31.970 be the hands of the sons today. And so when she 01:54:31.970 --> 01:54:34.350 read, and it was the CO, I'm about to get up, 01:54:34.489 --> 01:54:37.649 and I was about to take the document off, she 01:54:37.649 --> 01:54:40.930 touched my hand. She said, she's going to read 01:54:40.930 --> 01:54:45.210 it. And I left it there, and she read it, and 01:54:45.210 --> 01:54:47.229 she brought me in, and she said, Mr. Tubbs, you 01:54:47.229 --> 01:54:49.810 have extraordinary suitability. You're the unique 01:54:49.810 --> 01:54:52.970 one. And 28 years of me being the commissioner 01:54:52.970 --> 01:54:55.850 and putting the hammer on people, You're the 01:54:55.850 --> 01:54:57.670 first person that made me second guess. And she 01:54:57.670 --> 01:55:00.409 returned. I'm giving you a name. She retired. 01:55:00.670 --> 01:55:02.750 She changed her mind. She changed her mind. How 01:55:02.750 --> 01:55:04.569 was the work? How was the written work? Yeah, 01:55:05.710 --> 01:55:07.890 they just told me my whole journey that I'm talking 01:55:07.890 --> 01:55:11.869 to y 'all and whatever. You shared the journey. 01:55:11.989 --> 01:55:15.409 I shared the whole journey of compassion. So 01:55:15.409 --> 01:55:19.409 rehabilitation, redemption, being sensitive enough 01:55:19.409 --> 01:55:22.529 to empathize. 20 years when there was no hope 01:55:22.529 --> 01:55:24.670 of getting up out of here. I've done this work. 01:55:25.029 --> 01:55:29.569 Naming it mothers who've come up, who've connected 01:55:29.569 --> 01:55:33.310 hearts with. I'm breaking down that when we hurt 01:55:33.310 --> 01:55:35.689 each other, the earth is hurt. The trees are 01:55:35.689 --> 01:55:38.069 hurt. The animals are hurt. First responders 01:55:38.069 --> 01:55:40.869 who come and have to deliver blood scenes are 01:55:40.869 --> 01:55:43.829 hurt. The person who hurts, we hurt our families. 01:55:45.589 --> 01:55:50.130 Come on, lady. It's not no other way that I can 01:55:50.130 --> 01:55:52.470 explain to you. I understand the ramifications 01:55:52.470 --> 01:55:55.689 and I didn't even kill nobody. So just imagine 01:55:55.689 --> 01:55:59.489 if I can speak to this in this deep way, it shows 01:55:59.489 --> 01:56:02.510 the work that I put in. It'd be different if 01:56:02.510 --> 01:56:03.989 I killed somebody. I got to just deal with my 01:56:03.989 --> 01:56:07.649 demons. But no, I'm sitting with Vietnam vets. 01:56:07.729 --> 01:56:10.029 I'm sitting with men who've killed. I'm sitting 01:56:10.029 --> 01:56:13.029 and I'm taking it on and I articulate it in a 01:56:13.029 --> 01:56:16.859 way that she released me. And in that release, 01:56:17.079 --> 01:56:20.399 the governor asked me, you know, I'm going to 01:56:20.399 --> 01:56:23.100 send you back to your parents, right, in South 01:56:23.100 --> 01:56:28.359 Carolina. And I said, pretty much, no. He congratulated 01:56:28.359 --> 01:56:31.239 me for being a Tobiah because Governor Brown 01:56:31.239 --> 01:56:36.000 is a Jesuit. And Tobias is the same Jesuit. Yeah. 01:56:37.739 --> 01:56:40.739 Ignatius, which is the one who founded the Jesuit 01:56:40.739 --> 01:56:43.100 order, he used to pray to Mary and Tobias while 01:56:43.100 --> 01:56:44.920 he was in prison. I knew that, and I knew who 01:56:44.920 --> 01:56:47.239 I was talking to. So I didn't come to the governor 01:56:47.239 --> 01:56:50.960 like this. I came like this. I'm giving you an 01:56:50.960 --> 01:56:55.960 opportunity on your way out to help bring some 01:56:55.960 --> 01:57:00.680 resolve to the crimes that were committed in 01:57:00.680 --> 01:57:02.420 maybe your younger years. What I was having to 01:57:02.420 --> 01:57:06.159 say is he knew what was up. And so I told him, 01:57:06.220 --> 01:57:10.319 I want to go back to my community and share what 01:57:10.319 --> 01:57:13.960 I was able to share inside. So tell us about 01:57:13.960 --> 01:57:15.899 your community and now and the projects that 01:57:15.899 --> 01:57:18.819 you're working on now. Oh, right now, very similar 01:57:18.819 --> 01:57:26.680 to you, too. We have a school. What age? What 01:57:26.680 --> 01:57:31.359 grades? What grades? Right now, the school is 01:57:31.359 --> 01:57:40.699 for 14 to 21. It's called a pendulum. A pendu 01:57:40.699 --> 01:57:44.880 is a Swahili term for love, but it's a seed that's 01:57:44.880 --> 01:57:47.859 nurtured into full blossom and what it takes 01:57:47.859 --> 01:57:51.939 to nurture that seed. Everyone who is with me 01:57:51.939 --> 01:57:54.859 on this has been doing the work for years, but 01:57:54.859 --> 01:57:58.220 to bring everybody under one umbrella, we're 01:57:58.220 --> 01:58:02.399 dealing with mostly system -impacted youth, the 01:58:02.399 --> 01:58:05.340 ones which are part of our creative learning 01:58:05.340 --> 01:58:10.600 center. They're labeled neurodivergent. By law, 01:58:10.640 --> 01:58:13.039 they're considered fosters because if they get 01:58:13.039 --> 01:58:15.039 out and you don't have two parents in California, 01:58:15.199 --> 01:58:18.819 you're considered a foster. And so we're creating 01:58:18.819 --> 01:58:23.520 safe spaces through mindfulness, through care, 01:58:23.760 --> 01:58:27.760 through diet, through... I explained to people 01:58:27.760 --> 01:58:30.020 there's no financial literacy unless you're financially 01:58:30.020 --> 01:58:32.119 aware. How come you're going to be literate at 01:58:32.119 --> 01:58:34.600 something you're not aware of? And so food is 01:58:34.600 --> 01:58:37.880 our medicine. A lot of these people, Dad died. 01:58:38.119 --> 01:58:40.539 We have a tech component that we're seeking to 01:58:40.539 --> 01:58:44.340 build out. So the county gave us, which is pretty 01:58:44.340 --> 01:58:48.199 much seed money, but we cannot depend, nor should 01:58:48.199 --> 01:58:52.460 we depend, on state funding, you know, the state. 01:58:52.810 --> 01:58:54.569 And the government is just too tricky. Yeah. 01:58:54.750 --> 01:58:57.149 Hold up. No, not right now. We'll give it to 01:58:57.149 --> 01:58:59.090 you later. But yet still, these kids got to eat. 01:58:59.149 --> 01:59:00.949 Staff got to get paid. I don't got to tell y 01:59:00.949 --> 01:59:03.170 'all. Y 'all should understand. And so we're 01:59:03.170 --> 01:59:06.109 doing the work. So we're working with that demographic. 01:59:06.529 --> 01:59:10.270 And then we have other classes that are really 01:59:10.270 --> 01:59:13.529 art -based, creative -based, really like ethnoculturally 01:59:13.529 --> 01:59:15.909 sensitive, understanding what young people are 01:59:15.909 --> 01:59:18.289 going through inside of themselves, coming out 01:59:18.289 --> 01:59:22.760 of... If you say since the 60s that there's been 01:59:22.760 --> 01:59:25.880 a war, right, wrong, or indifferent, war on drugs, 01:59:26.220 --> 01:59:29.159 war on gangs, war on violence, war, war, war, 01:59:29.199 --> 01:59:31.800 war, so wouldn't that community be a war zone? 01:59:32.020 --> 01:59:34.579 And then you take 200 ,000 of their daddies, 01:59:34.619 --> 01:59:37.760 so they grew up without daddies, and now you 01:59:37.760 --> 01:59:41.420 leave me with the grandkids. And so they're not? 01:59:41.800 --> 01:59:45.359 war casualties or they are all that and you create 01:59:45.359 --> 01:59:47.579 laws that a man can't be in the house then a 01:59:47.579 --> 01:59:49.319 lot of these young brothers we're dealing with 01:59:49.319 --> 01:59:51.840 their mothers had them young so now mom is working 01:59:51.840 --> 01:59:55.420 15 16 17 18 hours and so uh that's one thing 01:59:55.420 --> 01:59:59.880 uh advocacy uh still advocating for men and women 01:59:59.880 --> 02:00:05.060 uh behind the wall uh allowing very uh notable 02:00:05.060 --> 02:00:08.859 personalities and and in government and private 02:00:08.859 --> 02:00:12.539 sector that you can't hold us to our worst moments. 02:00:12.920 --> 02:00:16.399 You know, we have the potential to change and 02:00:16.399 --> 02:00:18.060 we have a system to change. So we're creating 02:00:18.060 --> 02:00:22.199 a model in which we can share this model. So 02:00:22.199 --> 02:00:26.359 this one, you know, Alex called me. I said, bro, 02:00:26.460 --> 02:00:30.359 you know, we're raising. This is a fight of all 02:00:30.359 --> 02:00:32.930 fights. It's a non -profit, right? It's a non 02:00:32.930 --> 02:00:34.909 -profit. What's the name of it, the website? 02:00:35.289 --> 02:00:37.649 We're perfecting the website. Not up yet? It's 02:00:37.649 --> 02:00:41.130 not up yet, but it's in process of being up, 02:00:41.210 --> 02:00:44.750 sadly. When do you think it will be up? Probably 02:00:44.750 --> 02:00:48.710 when I get back. Because if it is, you can give 02:00:48.710 --> 02:00:51.069 us the website. We can post it. Beautiful, beautiful, 02:00:51.310 --> 02:00:53.310 beautiful. And the name of the school or the 02:00:53.310 --> 02:00:56.399 organization is what? HearMeOut .com. HearMeOut 02:00:56.399 --> 02:00:59.800 .com. Yeah, HearMeOut. How many people are you 02:00:59.800 --> 02:01:02.619 servicing right now? Okay, we're servicing out 02:01:02.619 --> 02:01:05.720 of the school, we have 13. So we're taking previously 02:01:05.720 --> 02:01:07.539 incarcerated people who've been in the system 02:01:07.539 --> 02:01:09.899 for years, and we're putting them together with 02:01:09.899 --> 02:01:12.060 people who are coming in. Oh, wow. You feel me? 02:01:12.119 --> 02:01:16.140 So it's repurposing, re -identifying. folks you 02:01:16.140 --> 02:01:19.960 know i was in for for 30 years and so it's an 02:01:19.960 --> 02:01:22.840 intergenerational knowledge exchange that these 02:01:22.840 --> 02:01:24.899 young people that can be my grandchildren have 02:01:24.899 --> 02:01:28.140 value plus the generation we have from 50, 40, 02:01:28.239 --> 02:01:30.659 30, 20. You're teaching them how to meditate? 02:01:30.920 --> 02:01:35.180 Yeah, meditate, food. They'll be putting a text 02:01:35.180 --> 02:01:37.579 component, making them ambassadors and advocates 02:01:37.579 --> 02:01:41.399 to their own struggle. We have narrative therapy, 02:01:41.600 --> 02:01:43.439 cultivating the voice, the counter -narrative. 02:01:43.699 --> 02:01:45.840 Don't just hold me to my worst kind of moment. 02:01:46.079 --> 02:01:49.359 And then we have another program, which we just 02:01:49.359 --> 02:01:51.880 have students that are not inside of the system, 02:01:52.119 --> 02:01:54.159 and then we're dealing with more of them. It's 02:01:54.159 --> 02:01:57.149 like 100. a year for this, like, four cohorts. 02:01:57.310 --> 02:01:59.550 And are these 13 kids actually getting a degree 02:01:59.550 --> 02:02:03.289 there? Oh, no, this is credit restoration. These 02:02:03.289 --> 02:02:07.289 youth have been borrowed from school. And sadly, 02:02:07.449 --> 02:02:10.069 the schools still get their ADA money. We're 02:02:10.069 --> 02:02:12.390 supposed to be getting ADA money, but the school 02:02:12.390 --> 02:02:14.409 won't give us the money. And so we're actually, 02:02:14.550 --> 02:02:17.689 nor will the parole officers, the judicial system 02:02:17.689 --> 02:02:20.729 or the penal system give us money, which they 02:02:20.729 --> 02:02:23.689 should. And there's no accountability. The parole 02:02:23.689 --> 02:02:25.130 office is supposed to be making sure these young 02:02:25.130 --> 02:02:27.569 folks go to school. And these young men are coming 02:02:27.569 --> 02:02:29.710 to school solely because they want to. So there's 02:02:29.710 --> 02:02:32.670 no accountability. And so as for these young 02:02:32.670 --> 02:02:37.229 men, we're their last line of defense. So to 02:02:37.229 --> 02:02:39.670 answer your question, it's credit restoration. 02:02:40.460 --> 02:02:42.920 Credit restoration. These are whatever high school 02:02:42.920 --> 02:02:45.619 units and credits you didn't give, you didn't 02:02:45.619 --> 02:02:48.399 get. You get it there. We get it there. And that 02:02:48.399 --> 02:02:51.619 is like a very personal, very similar to your 02:02:51.619 --> 02:02:57.399 school down where they're at right here. Very 02:02:57.399 --> 02:03:01.659 specialized folks and really loving on these 02:03:01.659 --> 02:03:04.420 young people where they're at. Feeding them because 02:03:04.420 --> 02:03:07.199 some of them don't even live in houses. They 02:03:07.199 --> 02:03:09.340 live in the bushes at the park. So the first 02:03:09.340 --> 02:03:11.380 thing they come, they're trying to eat. You know, 02:03:11.380 --> 02:03:12.760 they're trying to wash. You know, talking about 02:03:12.760 --> 02:03:15.340 basic levels of humanity. And then we have the 02:03:15.340 --> 02:03:18.979 other group that comes in. That's for they're 02:03:18.979 --> 02:03:21.539 in high school. I mean, middle school, high school. 02:03:21.739 --> 02:03:24.000 And they have normally parents or one parent. 02:03:24.340 --> 02:03:26.479 You know, their social dynamics is a little different. 02:03:26.539 --> 02:03:28.340 So we work with both. You know, there's this 02:03:28.340 --> 02:03:34.350 educational organization that... They focus on 02:03:34.350 --> 02:03:37.329 AI for like two hours. Have you guys thought 02:03:37.329 --> 02:03:40.109 about all of that? Are you doing any AI? One 02:03:40.109 --> 02:03:43.529 of our fiscal sponsors is Viterbi at USC. And 02:03:43.529 --> 02:03:46.789 Viterbi is the engineering slash tech department 02:03:46.789 --> 02:03:53.229 of the school. I'm very close to the professor 02:03:53.229 --> 02:03:58.989 there, Dr. Gray. So we have... a Viterbi lesson 02:03:58.989 --> 02:04:02.630 and program to get these young people to. So 02:04:02.630 --> 02:04:07.310 we need to have a bridge that connects them to 02:04:07.310 --> 02:04:12.930 the higher experience of cybersecurity. He's 02:04:12.930 --> 02:04:15.909 a specialist in cybersecurity. AI and the different 02:04:15.909 --> 02:04:19.310 18 platforms of AI. So now we're very... I don't 02:04:19.310 --> 02:04:21.819 have my phone right here. Can you research with 02:04:21.819 --> 02:04:23.399 these phones? What do you do with these phones? 02:04:23.500 --> 02:04:25.539 These phones is more than looking at social media 02:04:25.539 --> 02:04:27.659 and taking girls, whatever the case might be. 02:04:27.739 --> 02:04:32.079 But we're in the process of building our tech 02:04:32.079 --> 02:04:34.600 program so not only we can get the qualitative 02:04:34.600 --> 02:04:37.079 and quantitative data, we have to have that, 02:04:37.100 --> 02:04:39.659 you know, our own because they don't have any 02:04:39.659 --> 02:04:42.510 data on these young people. only that which erases 02:04:42.510 --> 02:04:44.890 them and allows court systems to put them away 02:04:44.890 --> 02:04:47.590 forever. So that's one thing. So this is the 02:04:47.590 --> 02:04:51.109 build -out, you know, making whole my team, which 02:04:51.109 --> 02:04:53.529 is essential because everybody's working off 02:04:53.529 --> 02:04:56.689 a stipend and I'm paying out of pocket. And so 02:04:56.689 --> 02:04:58.529 that's one part, making them whole so they feel 02:04:58.529 --> 02:05:01.329 good about the work that we're doing. And then 02:05:01.329 --> 02:05:03.489 number two, building out the model, which we 02:05:03.489 --> 02:05:08.210 have a three -year plan. It's like 1 .2 a year. 02:05:08.649 --> 02:05:11.510 which is in the county pays a million dollars 02:05:11.510 --> 02:05:14.489 per child to arrest them, lock them up, blah, 02:05:14.529 --> 02:05:16.449 blah, blah, blah, blah. So we're saying we'll 02:05:16.449 --> 02:05:19.750 do 13 children for the same million dollars. 02:05:19.789 --> 02:05:22.229 13. I've already perfected it. You heard my story. 02:05:22.369 --> 02:05:25.970 I've done this a thousand times. 13. And we'll 02:05:25.970 --> 02:05:31.189 still service and love 125 just with basic services 02:05:31.189 --> 02:05:35.380 inside the community. So for 1 .2, which is like 02:05:35.380 --> 02:05:39.180 $100 ,000 a month, it takes care. I have doctors. 02:05:39.239 --> 02:05:41.579 I have sociologists or social workers. A lot 02:05:41.579 --> 02:05:43.359 of these people from USC that I helped raise, 02:05:43.680 --> 02:05:46.020 they're getting out just like, you know, they 02:05:46.020 --> 02:05:47.779 got to eat. They got to, you know, y 'all know 02:05:47.779 --> 02:05:49.300 because of the marvelous work you're doing and 02:05:49.300 --> 02:05:51.979 taking care of your educators. So we have the 02:05:51.979 --> 02:05:54.859 whole system. And so we can show that not only 02:05:54.859 --> 02:05:58.600 are we violence prevention and public safety, 02:05:58.739 --> 02:06:02.859 that when this model sticks, we're saving. Just 02:06:02.859 --> 02:06:04.800 along with my process, I did a savings of $12 02:06:04.800 --> 02:06:07.800 million. You feel me? Because literally. So, 02:06:07.819 --> 02:06:09.720 yeah, that's where we're at right now. We're 02:06:09.720 --> 02:06:13.300 in the $3 .2 million raise. But as part of the 02:06:13.300 --> 02:06:15.220 raise, are you also making sure you apply for 02:06:15.220 --> 02:06:23.560 grants? Grants and funding is a game. And that's 02:06:23.560 --> 02:06:26.279 how we've got here this far. So now we're looking 02:06:26.279 --> 02:06:30.920 for really fun foundations. Who really are invested 02:06:30.920 --> 02:06:34.779 in me. You just keep this funny. Yes. The house 02:06:34.779 --> 02:06:38.800 is the model, but it is a. platform and a bridge 02:06:38.800 --> 02:06:41.960 to a lot of other ideas that I have. So we are 02:06:41.960 --> 02:06:44.640 prepared to execute what somebody has to put 02:06:44.640 --> 02:06:46.039 in the grant, and they have to put the grant 02:06:46.039 --> 02:06:48.680 in. And then, you know, I got to go talk, and 02:06:48.680 --> 02:06:51.239 I got to go sell, and I got to go, at the same 02:06:51.239 --> 02:06:53.039 time, I got to make sure that they're getting 02:06:53.039 --> 02:06:55.140 an honest breakfast. At the same time, I got 02:06:55.140 --> 02:06:57.199 to make sure that he don't go disarm him from 02:06:57.199 --> 02:06:59.760 a pistol before he go kill somebody. So once 02:06:59.760 --> 02:07:02.359 I'm made whole and my team can be made whole, 02:07:02.520 --> 02:07:06.029 I tell people, it's seven ways in Egypt. Egypt 02:07:06.029 --> 02:07:07.949 is the core of the Koran, the Bible, and African 02:07:07.949 --> 02:07:10.489 sciences. So we're looking for all financial 02:07:10.489 --> 02:07:13.329 streams. But if you're not made whole and able 02:07:13.329 --> 02:07:16.130 to do the work without singing, you're in a perpetual 02:07:16.130 --> 02:07:18.489 state of begging all the time. You've got to 02:07:18.489 --> 02:07:21.329 convince people to do right. So that's where 02:07:21.329 --> 02:07:26.550 it's been. So, yes, grants, dealing with the 02:07:26.550 --> 02:07:29.909 various agencies in California who's been giving 02:07:29.909 --> 02:07:33.069 considerable amount of money. But you want to 02:07:33.069 --> 02:07:36.140 come like this. Yeah. You know, you don't want 02:07:36.140 --> 02:07:38.180 to come like this because you're not making payroll 02:07:38.180 --> 02:07:41.560 because you will. So, yeah, so that's where we're 02:07:41.560 --> 02:07:44.039 personally at. The grind is real. The fight is 02:07:44.039 --> 02:07:47.659 real. They tried to erase you physically and 02:07:47.659 --> 02:07:50.340 spiritually and they couldn't. It didn't happen. 02:07:50.539 --> 02:07:54.800 And you stayed in your heart and you spread your 02:07:54.800 --> 02:07:58.239 soul and your love to everybody else. And you 02:07:58.239 --> 02:08:00.579 had a tremendous impact. And I know that you 02:08:00.579 --> 02:08:03.619 see the perfection of your journey. And I really 02:08:03.619 --> 02:08:05.500 appreciate you coming and sitting down and sharing 02:08:05.500 --> 02:08:07.520 your story with us. Thank you. It's been an honor. 02:08:07.600 --> 02:08:09.319 It's been an honor to meet you. Thank you so 02:08:09.319 --> 02:08:13.579 much. I'm going to give you a hug. Thank you.