Hello there, and thanks for tuning in to listen
to Friends of Morty, a new D &D actual play podcast.
My name is Tony Rapperto, your DM here to guide
you on this new adventure. We are releasing two
episodes to start off. This is our session one,
which dives right into the action and drama of
our world. We've also got session zero up that
has lots of world and character building. If
you already listened to session zero, feel free
to skip ahead about five minutes past the intro
to the world. And if you're starting here with
session one to get right into the drama, well,
we're glad you're here and welcome. to the world
of Harith, a world filled with magic, fantasy,
talking horses, and a lot of really hot androgynous
elves. Following the events of our previous campaign,
our players found out that they were trapped
in a world created for them by the big bad evil
guy, Gano. The players then returned to their
home world with one massive change. 50 years
have passed since they were imprisoned. Whatever
life they had or thought that they had is long
gone. Moments after learning this, our players
were urged into hiding by none other than Gano's
estranged father, King of the city of Karim,
King Frode. His advisor, Tenzin, helped secure
passage for the newly formed party by ship, but
not before informing them of the Maccabean Rebellion.
An uprising growing forces against Gano, the
same rebellion that party member Esther was part
of long ago at its nascency, but for a very different
reason. Other horrors have taken place during
the last 50 years, like our own Volandros's home,
of a carrion being covered in the desert sands,
his noble families scattered to the winds, but
you'll learn all about that and more. Now they've
arrived in a new city, Chidagatse, on the small
continent of Anima, the old home of our own Galleous,
as they rediscover their world, wondering what
else has changed in the past 50 years that they've
been absent. why they were imprisoned by Gano
in the first place, and why they were the first
ever to be sealed away. Let's introduce our adventurers,
shall we? My name is Hagar and I play Esther
Cohen, aka Esty. Esty is a war cleric from Puremount.
She comes from a long line of Aasimar priests
and has never really left the Temple of Velsir
until she was taken by Gano. So she is sheltered,
her best friend is an owl, She is constantly
overwhelmed by the secular world, but give her
an axe and her inner rage will take over. Estie
has very fuzzy memories of who she was under
Gano's mind prison. A lovable bard who was really
into fame and women and weed. Seemingly the polar
opposite of who Estie knows herself to be in
this world, which is pretty disorienting. She
is determined to join the Mukkabees and defeat
Gano, but also finally live her life on her terms.
Estie wants to figure out who she is outside
of the temple she was raised in, or some shitty
dude's mind prison. I'm Katie, and I play Volandros
Kediri, a noble warlock who has lost his nobility.
Born Asimar in a human family, Volandros' parents
believed him chosen by the gods and skipped him
over his three brothers to be next in line for
the lordship. as young Volandros was inducted
to the world of politics, war, and protecting
the good Kadiri name at all costs. He found himself
wishing for another life. Eventually, he snuck
away to travel, discovering a life of anonymity.
However, his thirst for power and burgeoning
interest in the occult led him down a dark path.
He attempted to take on an archfey patron to
grant him power, but it went horribly wrong when
the archfey revealed herself as a demon who tricked
him into trading his soul. Horrified and humiliated,
Volandros was searching for a way to free himself
when he was thrown into Ganol's prison. Inside
that strange world, he remembers being, embarrassingly,
a low -born tiefling thief. And now that he's
back, he's determined to achieve his original
goal of making the demon, and Gano, pay. My name
is Brian, and I play Galleous Estris, a School
of Illusion wizard. In his early childhood, Galleous
was revealed to be a changeling to his human
parents, who disowned him for fear that he was
not their own child. Living first in an orphanage,
then out onto the streets, Gallius first fell
in with a thieves' guild, where his powers as
a changeling were prized, eventually working
undercover to gather information and a brothel
under the assumed identity of the courtesan Primrose.
Long fascinated by how appearances shape reality,
he developed a fascination with illusion magic
and decided to save his pay to enroll in a magical
education. Cynical, rude, and possessing a bit
of a superiority complex, controlling others'
perceptions felt like Galleous' calling. Once
he saved up enough gold, he stepped into a new
identity as a school of illusion wizard. When
he finally set out for his own journey, he was
kidnapped and thrust into Gano's prison, living
as a naive and innocent half -elf paladin. Newly
escaped from his prison with his new peers, Gallius
wants revenge. Shall we get started? Let's go!
Thanks for joining us, friends of Morty. Friends.
Um... Tony! Hey. It's great to be here, Tony.
Thanks. Thanks. Say hi, gays. Hi, gays. It's
us. We're saying hi to each other. Last session,
you arrived in the city of Chitikaze, old home
of Galleous, who took Esther and the Landress
along with him to visit some old stomping grounds,
the Velvet Pillow, a brothel that he used to
work at run by Madame Throne, who was equally
happy and upset to see Galleous after so much
time has passed. Esther met with an elder at
a temple of Ael Seir, and between him and Madame
Throne, the players learn that tensions have
been rising between the continents of Mandalore
and Puremount, with Anima, the continent they're
currently on, smack in the middle of the other
two. They learn that the people of Puremount
believe the acts of Gano in the harvesting of
the lands of Mandalore are atrocities, and the
Maccabean Rebellion has been gaining force in
the northern part of the continent. Looking to
find some more information, the players enter
themselves into the Giostra della Quintana, a
yearly tournament in the city, with this year's
prize being a courtship dinner with Emiliana
Montefeltro, a noble family that Villandres recognizes,
his goal now set to win the Giostra. Get that
dinner and find out more information. You pass
the night preparing the first round of the tournament
and finish the session the next day outside the
stadium, awaiting your first trial. And that's
where we left off. You are all standing outside
of a large stadium that has been constructed.
Any questions, comments, or things you'd like
to discuss before we begin? The tournament is
tomorrow, right? The tournament is today. Today?
Oh my God. We're long rested and stuff, right?
You are long rested. You are. You know, the first
stage that is happening today is horse riding.
And so you see a bunch of workers walking around,
collecting people that are being participants
in the first round. No one comes to collect you
but some time passes and you see roughly 20 contestants
in the stadium itself Line up in staggered positions
towards the entry gate of the arena all facing
the same way as Tensions rise in the stadium
pure silence taking over after the chaos of cheers
as the entrance made their ways made their way
in As fellow contenders, you have an elevated
stage that has been constructed as magically
floating above the arena to watch as the games
begin. In this first round, you see many people
you do not recognize and the Fire Janasi Man,
Giuseppino Mankuri and Luca Gonzaga as part of
this round. Those are two of the people who got
very heightened introductions. There's silence
and a large bang. that causes you to catch your
breath as the horses begin dashing, leaving tufts
of dust in their wake. There are clear frontrunners,
Gonzaga and Moncordy, battling for the first
spot on their well -nourished, well -manicured
horses that they brought instead of using one
of the provided horses, theirs clad in full armor
matching their own. Behind them, trail about
five people, nudging back and forth, and then
the remainder behind them. The sound of hoofbeats
slowly are overtaken by the sounds of cheers
from the seats below. Luca Gonzaga pulls something
out of his pocket, throws it backwards towards
Boncuri, who veers his horse out of the way just
in time enough for it to explode in hundreds
of tiny sparks that then spooks a rider behind
him, causing the horse to dig its heels into
the ground, stand on its hind legs, as a horse
from behind it crashes into it. Two horses and
their riders collide to the ground as others
try to steer around them, a few more catching
up. As the others file around them, Luca Gonzaga
and Giuseppino Mancurri finish their first lap
and begin their second. A group of three riders
begin to come behind them, all of them linking
arms and forming a barrier as they kick their
horses to move faster and faster. They seem to
be supporting the middle rider, a tall, human
woman in leather armor, who stands up on the
back of her horse as she approaches right behind
Gonzaga, attempting to jump on him from behind.
Monkuri shouts something and then grabs something
attached to his saddle and tosses it at the woman
who gets thrown back midair with something that
had immense force right before she lands on Gonzaga
and onto the dirt floor as she looks up and you
hear the beginning of a yell as horses trample
over her. A horrible sight left after the horses
pass by. The two nobles finish their second lap
and be given their third and final lap, very
far away from the others. for the first spot
as the others behind them have realized their
chances have gone from making the top 10 to the
top 8. Messier tricks ensue as some riders attempt
to steer their horses into other riders, some
successfully knocking others off, others throwing
themselves further into the distance. Cheers
erupt from the stadium as Luca Gonzaga crosses
the finish line first, Giuseppino Mancordi half
a second behind him. Ten seconds later, another
crosses the line, and then a fourth, a fifth,
a sixth, a seventh, and then two riders are neck
and neck as they approach the finish line. One
of them, a halfling man, steps out of his saddle
onto the back of his horse and begins running
up the horse's back, neck, and jumps off its
heads, its horse thrusting him forward with the
push of its snout, and he crosses the finish
line just a millisecond before the other rider
as the stadium erupts in roars. Arcane fireworks,
shades of greens and yellows and purples fizzling
in the air above as the audience pull strings
on little devices and point them towards the
air. Franco Sforza comes into view, floating
on a disc, his voice booming through the stadium.
My, my, what a brave showing of the first round.
Jan Fen's luck is with our contenders this year.
Give it up for our top ten of round one moving
forward. He begins to read the names in order
of completion. And then he turns again. Are you
ready for another round, my fellow Gigatians?
In just a few minutes, we begin round two. He
floats away and the floating stage that you are
on descends to the ground with everyone on it.
Members walk around with wooden clipboards, notifying
contestants that they are in the second round.
Your heart beats a little faster every time a
worker walks by. And then Esther. You feel a
hand on your shoulder with a light squeeze and
hear a deep. Giovanna Motorel, come with me,
please. I guess that's me. I'm going to cast
Bless before I go with this feller. As you're
walking towards the gate, you hear a... Did you
bring horse? No. No? Okay, come. We should have
gone horse shopping. Had you not, maybe you would
have found another horse dealer that would allow
you free horses. I do have, if I roll from my
bag of tricks and that small horse comes out,
I could ride that really obnoxious one. It's
possible. Esti, you are led to a few stables
on the far side of the ring that have a line
of horses to select from. Which you want. Pick
fast before others. I'm going to drink from that
charisma potion so I can convince this guy to
give me the best horse he has. All right. So
you take a swig, you pop open, I forget what
it's called. Potion of bewitching. You pop a
potion of bewitching. And what do you say to
him? Hey, friend. First of all, you look super
handsome today. I would love it if you can hook
me up with your favorite horse here. Like the
fastest, strongest horse you can come up with.
Make a persuasion check with advantage. 19, thanks
to this advantage. Very nice. He says, all right,
well, thank you for flat three, come. He leads
you to a dark brown horse with darker brown splotches
around and a long white mane. It's got deep brown
eyes and it is tall, not too tall, muscly, not
too muscly. Very good, very built for speed.
Nice. This is Beatrice. Beatrice? Yes. Oh, she's
beautiful. Yes. Thank you so much. Of course.
Good luck. Thank you. And he helps you up the
stirrups onto the horse. You ride your horse
to the entrance and you wait for the other contestants
to join as Franco Sforza's voice booms again.
Let us welcome the contestants of the next round.
Shall we? The gates open and you hear Giovanna
Mozzarell. The crowd goes wild. The crowd goes
wild. You are the first to enter into this stadium.
Esther, you are the first called. You lead your
horse into this empty stadium. The crowd cheering
for you on all sides. The voices melding into
this beautiful symphony. You and Asimar, who
has grown up in a sheltered temple for the majority
of her life, are bombarded with the most attention
that you've ever been given. You are uncomfortable
and then you hear what sounds like a sound wave
that has come to a screeching halt as the Sounds
around you pause the sights around you suspend
in a brief motion and you're hit with a vision
You're standing in a stadium in a different world
Tall red arches all around you the Sun beating
down in a hot sky Two people by your sides and
you hold your hands high in the sky as you soak
in the cheers from beyond. You recall the memory
of beginning the trials of the divided planes
in Fintos. Not for what exactly, but you remember
it being big and that you loved the attention.
I got chills in my arms. And the sounds and sights
around Esther flash back to life. And a small
piece of that vision sticks with you, giving
you just a whisper of, Oh, yes. I could kind
of like this feeling of being cheered on. And
then another name is called. A few more, and
then you hear Fiorala Timonaki as the water genasi
strides in, holding the reins of her horse in
her hand, walking besides it as she mounts the
horse in front of everyone with just a jump from
the ground, not even touching the stirrups as
the crowd goes wild. Another minute or two passes
as Franco Sforzi. Oh, why did I say that? That's
his name. Never mind. I thought I was announcing
another, another minute or two passes. As Franco
Sforzi finishes reading the names, he instructs
all of the riders to take their place and says,
you may start. You hear the blast. Now let me
explain how this will work. This is going to
be what is called a skill challenge. Skill challenges
are ways to describe things that are not combat,
but are still like these montage scenes, things
that you need to show your prowess in. Skill
challenges typically have a number of successes
that you need to reach before a number of failures.
Three failures or three successes in this case,
whichever comes first. You can use any of your
skills during the race, but once you use one
skill, you cannot use it again for the challenge.
So you're going to roll using a skill. Here are
the generals that are going to that are going
to help animal handling, athletics, intimidation,
perception. Those are ones that you know are
are, you know, animal handling for handling the
horse, athletics for like being athletic and
moving, intimidation for maybe intimidating the
other players, perception to see if anything's
coming. And of course, if you want to try and
make me a case for a different skill. Just tell
me what you are describing. Great for history
right now. If you can make the case for it and
it's great, I will absolutely allow it. So three
successes and you pass and you were in the top
10. Three failures and you are out of the tourney.
So any questions? Yeah, because of the potion
of bewitching and the sick horse that I got.
Does it give me any kind of advantages? No, because
for that you have to be within five feet of a
person that you're trying to convince of something.
What about the sick horse? I got a better horse
because I was successful, so does it give me
anything? I will tell you that with animal handling,
I will allow you to roll with advantage. Yay!
Nice. During the previous race, players were
interfering with each other. The chance, in addition
to making our skill check, to take actions in
our turn. Here's what I will say. You noticed
that within the ring, there were hijinks happening.
They were not grand. They were... Subtle. They
were subtle. You're not shooting fireballs at
people. Correct. It didn't look very subtle to
me, or did it sound subtle? The jumping from
one horse onto another, the linking arms... Well,
those are things, but I would say magical effects
were very subtle. And give me a perception check.
Seven for Dallas address 13 seven. All right.
Yeah, you notice that the magical effects are
very subtle If you want to talk to the people
around you That there you're standing on a stage
with like hundreds of people so you could just
ask them these things Do the rules have any cause
or thing about interference from You did not
see any interference from the audience during
last round Okay. Okay. This is going to be an
initiative order situation. No. No. So I can
use guidance too. Yeah. I'm not going to say
no. Tony hates me. Galleous does want to turn
and just like find, like take stock of who are
the nearest competitors standing around him.
You don't see any of the nobility, but you just
do see random folk. I just want to like, you
know, Cozy on up to someone a little bit and
be like hey like so, you know, what'd you make
of that first round? I was those violent like
do people get in trouble for those like open
like throwing stuff at each other like that I
want you to make a persuasion check That I am
pretty good at can also give you guidance I kept
going like I was like, uh, but wait, no, that's
blast. No, wait You were not okay, so no guy
no guidance persuasion? Within 11 you get a bit
of like a I don't want to give a competitor like
any kind of advantage but you get a well us that
are aren't nobility don't get the same rules.
What do you mean by that friend? I mean I'm always
down with the bourgeoisie so you know. The referees
tend to avert their eyes for certain contendence.
Oh, so they're crooked as shit. They're assholes.
They might be. Anyway, the race is about to start.
And that's what you get. So as a recap, three
successes or three failures, whichever comes
first. You can use any of your skills during
the race, but you know that animal handling,
athletics, intimidation, perception are definitely
going to help. You can make a case for any of
them, however, and if it's a good case, I will
allow it. Once you use one skill, you cannot
use it again for the challenge. And are you ready?
yes okay i was born ready baby you were born
ready all right you all steal yourselves silence
comes over and then a blast the the horses immediately
start dashing what's your first check first check
i guess animal handling should i go for that
first to get my horse in tune to me like zelda
style absolutely tell me what you do give me
a description I want to bond with my horse. How
do you do it? Pet the mane. Maybe I have a little
snacky in my hand. Give it a little carrot just
so whatever I command this horse, this horse
will listen to me and trust me for the duration
of this race. Okay, give me an animal handling
check at advantage. The DC. I will tell you all
the DC for all of these checks. 13. All right,
I can do this. I have a plus five to begin with.
15. Okay. Two away. That's what you get for testing
fate. Listen, but I made it. You did make it.
You did make it. Okay. As you know, I didn't
roll with advantage. Oh yeah. Roll with advantage.
See if you get a nat 20. And here's what I will
say. Couple more. I will let you all tell me
if you want this. Nat 20, two automatic successes.
Nat one, two automatic failures. If you want
that. I'll let you all choose. I'm more risk
-averse, but... I'm gonna take it for me. You
all have to agree. Because I have inspiration,
and I was like, well, I can inspiration out of
a nat 1. We all do. So do we want to do that?
Take the nat 20 odds. I'm also risk -averse,
but, I mean, if we have to blow an inspiration,
like... Yeah. The nat 20 two successes is nice.
I mean, at the end of the day. 5 % chance in
either direction. Yes, let's do it. Okay. Fuck
it. Okay. So you've made your first roll. Before
the... I'm like, I have a bad feeling about this.
I will take responsibility if it goes forward.
Right before the race begins, you place your
hand on the side of the horse's head, and you're
petting the side of it gently. You're nudging
your head along its neck, just closing your eyes
and connecting deep with the beast. You sit up
tall, you grab the reins, the blast happens,
and you take an immediate lead over everyone.
Yay. All right. Give me your second check. You've
got one success. I'm going to I want perception.
I want to see if anyone's trying to sabotage
me. Give me a perception check. Oh, I got a net.
Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. OK, he's in first
place. Pastor, you have a shield, right? I do
have a shield. This is screaming like, yeah.
Totally losing his goal. So here's what happens.
With a nat 20, you are automatically going to
succeed because you needed three successes. So
what happens? You take immediate lead over everyone.
Funala Minaki behind you, pissed. She's an ability.
She wants to be in first. You see her reach into
her bag. She pulls out a slingshot from her bag,
aiming it at you. Galleous, you see it from the
stands. You send a message to Cantrip and tell
Esther to be aware. She turns back. You hold
up your shield. The slingshot lets loose this
massive, massive, whatever's larger than a fucking
pebble. Hits your shield, bounce off, hits another
contestant. They go flying off their horse. You
make it further. Your Fiannalla comes up. she's
neck and neck with you. You finish your first
lap. You finish your second lap. The entire time
you and Fiannalla are neck and neck. You are
one overtaking the other, the other coming back,
the other coming back. She tries to nudge into
you. She misses her horse trips and then stands
back up and she's behind you by a few seconds.
You finish the second lap. You're on your final
lap. You're running around and you see Fiannalla
immediately start to conjure something from her
hands and you see a little arcane bolt form with
with a little bit of a golden sheen. You recognize
it as guiding bolt. You see it, you recognize
it as a cleric and you see her cast it. And for
some, you're, you're, you do that, that meme
of the math, like going back exactly where that
guiding bolt is going to hit. You veer out of
the way and it shoots directly into the distance
and you cross the finish line first ahead. I
made Isabelle proud. You made Isabelle very proud.
The crowd goes wild. At first, they're like a
little shocked that a nobility, like someone
of nobility has not come first. And they're a
little shocked, but then they immediately roar
into, into applause. Do you want to do anything
as you, as you take in the, uh, the, the cheers?
I'm going to use thaumaturgy. Have like a booming.
Sound, and I'm gonna say, do you like me now?
Performance check at advantage. At advantage.
Oh. No! Collectively maybe seven or eight. I
have another one. I have another D4 if I want
to do guidance. I can guidance myself. Yes, you
can guidance yourself. These guys are cursed.
They won't even land on the table. Intentional
roles only. So it's got a... Is it a one also?
No, you got it. It's got to land on the table.
Intentional rules. If it drops, if it falls,
it doesn't count. All right. So it's going to
be like maybe 11. Okay. You Thaumaturge yourself,
but it doesn't reach the stadium because the
sounds of the cheers are way too loud. So you
say it and Fionnale hears it. She's like the
only one that hears it. I don't care. That's
what I'm aiming for. That echo baby. It lands
enough for her to hear it, but the rest of the
stadium does not. And she just gives you a...
and trots away. That's just kind of... You know
how Estie has some inner rage that comes out
sometimes? She's starting to feel like she wants
to humiliate that piece of shit. Yeah. Well,
she's facing away from you walking towards the
gate that is open. Pants her. On a horse. Pants
her horse. I'm going to save it for the ring,
you know what I mean? I feel like she's already
humiliated by that crushing defeat. She almost
definitely is. OK. So, Esther, a volunteer comes
up, gives you a small brooch with a horse and
rider to pin on your clothes. You're led out
of the stadium, off your horse, and back to the
stages where you find Volandris and Galleous.
Esty! I didn't know you had it in you! I guess
I do. That was fucking exhilarating. My gods,
that was phenomenal! Well done. You've done us
all proud. Do you have any writing tips for us?
I'm not... I haven't been on a lot of horses.
Oh, you know what I did first? The first thing
I did before we started was bond with my horse.
So the horse obeys me. Okay. Maybe that's a good
thing to do to start. Bond with the horse, bond
with the horse. Okay. He's just like reciting
to himself. Also, these rich people are shady
as fuck. So you have to watch out for what they
do. They're going to try to sabotage you, especially
if you're doing well. Yes. Man, I was talking
to... Esti's a horse girl. that they are potentially
only letting the nobility get away with shenanigans.
They're turning a blind eye. Really? The refs
aren't fair. Keep asking around. He wouldn't
tell me much, but. Can I look around to see if
I can, like who the refs are, like to pinpoint
them just for. They're not around you. They're
in the stadium or on the, you know, they have
their own heightened view of the stadium. And
we're all blessed still, right? I didn't get
hit. I can still concentrate on that and give
them bless. Yeah. Okay. But bless won't attack
won't really affect much in this because bless
has only attack roles in it and saving that if
they get Hurt by something. Maybe they won't
do some kind of a saving throw. Yeah, yeah, what's
the range on guidance? Can you just like? Touch
yeah, right So, you know how like I can cast
spells from my familiar Can we have an owl fly
around us and just like back us to guide like
swooping to guide us Maybe we'll say for the
first check. Okay, but as the you know thing
progresses, but Yeah, it has to be within a hundred
feet of you And it's a large horse track, okay,
I looked up pictures of horse tracks yesterday,
but I couldn't think of the word track search
and I wrote horse rink. Horse rink. My horse
is on skates. That's adorable. Horse rink. Thankfully
Google knew what I knew. So are you chatting
with any other contestants? You said you wanted
to look around. I was looking to see if there
was a referee that I could. No, not a referee,
but give me a perception check. The two of you
from watching the race. Nice was so impressed
by SD. He really didn't watch anything else with
his I got a ten. All right more than my passive
Yeah, you uh, yeah you you didn't notice uh,
just daydreaming his ass off today. He is not
even present so Franco sports his voice booms
again above as he's announcing the introduction
of the second round a human male approaches meet
eyes with galleys and says Geo sports Andy That's
me. Come with me, please. As you're leaving,
I just like pat you on the shoulder and I'm like,
good luck, Galleus. Galleus looks back just like
trying to look cool and visibly nervous. This
is not his speed. Volandros is meeting him with
this like face of just complete like cool practice
confidence that he knows that Galleus is going
to absolutely crush it. and he's yeah gallius
your your outfit starts rippling with this like
gray color just from your chest out there's like
this just ripple uh as your your emotions start
to change your outfit around you wait is it this
sounds this does not sound gray doesn't sound
very that's the color that i picked for nervous
i'm gonna send big b to sit on your shoulder
so he can help you for as long as range permits
and also give you a little Morale boost Yeah,
you are led to oh well as you're walking he says
Sports Andy, are you related to signore Franco?
No relation. No. Oh All right. He leads you to
the same staples that Esther went to please choose
a horse I'd probably recommend quickly some of
them have already been taken. Do you have any?
Particular and I try to put on my most charming
smile recommendations for a horse that is, you
know, been performing well. You can make a persuasion
check. Why am I cursed today? Nope, nope, nope.
What was it? Two. He says, which is a six in
total. Yeah. He says, unfortunately, we're not
supposed to help the contestants. And so you
find a white horse with brown spots, large brown
mane, and that one seems to be to be calling
you. I want to just, you know, introduce myself,
gently pet the horse, try to do everything, kind
of befriend, get to know the horse. And all that
fun stuff. Share secrets with the horse. Yeah,
share secrets with the horse. Do braids. Horse
whisperer. I'm a change light. I'm giving you
a horse whispers back. Me too. Change secrets
with the horse. So, you know. I'm presenting
as human galleys, right? Yeah, it's up to you.
Yeah, that's been the default that I did for
signing up for the competition. This is my normal
how I present. You hop up on the horse. You are
led to the entry site where the other contestants
are gathering. And in it, you can see a fight
breaking out. Two men you don't recognize fighting
each other from atop their horses, one with the
bloody nose and the other with the bruised eyes.
And then you hear, gentlemen, gentlemen, please
save it for the dance floor. The voice of Prince
Matias Roki floats in as he rides between them
on his massive white horse clad in scale male
armor. And then you hear, now now! The round
hasn't even begun, my friends. A different yet
equally full of bullshit's voice scampers through
as you see Luka Gonzaga stride forward, long
yellow hair trailing behind him. Luka, you've
already completed your round. There's no need
for you here. Oh, Mattias, get off your high
horse. Literally. I was just coming to see what
the tizzy was about. Luca. Get out of here. You
don't want to be disqualified for being in the
wrong place. All right, Mattias, give me a perception
check at advantage because this is very interesting
in public. I feel like they're fucking. Or they
hate each other. Or both. Ryan. I don't like
my odds today, guys. I got a five. At advantage?
Oh, sorry. I rolled with a d4 instead of advantage.
We also have, I got an 11. Okay. So here's what
you notice. That was a really weird fucking interaction
between the two of them. It was awkward. It was
strange. And they were doing that thing where
when you're talking to someone, you're like looking
at their lips, but not to read them. I feel like
it's the equivalent of, like, finance bros posturing.
Like, peacocking their feathers and look like,
look how many fucking stocks I got, bro. That's
what they say. That's what they say. That's what
finance bros say. They pull up their E -Trade
app and they go, look how many stocks I've got,
bro. That's all I hear all day, every day on
the Five Train. Terribly, but it's the amount
that counts. Yeah, yeah. The two men then continue
to talk briefly. They nod to each other as Luca
returns to the other contestants. then a few
names are called. And then, Gio Sforzandi! And
Galleous enters the ring to the sounds of cheers
all around. Anything to do? This is not riding,
just entering the ring. You're riding, you're
not riding, you just enter, you are riding on
the horse entering the ring, you're not competing
yet. Yeah, um, uh, I just, I'm kind of like reserved.
I'm not a draw a lot of attention to myself kind
of guy. So I just like, put up a hand. And then
I might I'm going to cast dancing lights, which
did not work last time. And I'm going to do like
a couple of orbs of like a purple light. So it's
a little bit more visible in the sunlight. And
I'm just going to like spin them around me and
do like a cute like this looks. Yeah. You know,
give me either a performance or arcana check.
You got blessed. Okay, that one's a little bit
better. 17. That one lands a little bit better.
Um, which is, which is nice. You, you, you, uh,
procure a nice magical effect and make a perception
check for me. All of you. Oh boy. I got on that
one. 14. Oh, dirty 20 for me with your dirty
20. You see a referee notate something as galley
is cast magic in front of everyone. Hmm. Oh,
I bet he's noting down who can cast magic. Like
he's getting ready to hold it against me. Okay.
It's probably not a good... I will not be casting
magic. Can I send... Yeah, absolutely. A message.
Be very careful with magic. They're gonna fault
you for it. As you get that, Franco Sforza's
voice continues in the background. Introducing
more people. Introducing Prince Matias Roki gets...
a huge round of applause. You take your place.
The rest of the riders take their place. Everyone
prepares to begin silence, overcomes the arena,
and a loud blast. And out of the corner of your
eye, you see Matthias Roki kick one of the horse's
neck to him in the head as he dashes forward.
Everything around you becoming a blur as you
kick your horse into gear and rush alongside
the others. What's your first check? Okay, um,
I while the crowd is still really thick and close
together I'm gonna try to use intimidation And
I'm gonna like muscle with my horse and like
try to show off and be like a little big and
scary Okay, and what do you what are you what
are you doing to the other riders to intimidate
them? Just like flexing your muscles Yeah, I
don't know how it's one of the recommended roles
and I don't know how I am going to do that necessarily
Yeah, you could snarl at them. You could like
shove your horse in there Very startling way.
Uh, and you know, I'm hoping my horse growl at
him. Yeah. Okay. Give me an intimidation check.
Maybe help with this one. I will say because
of the start, this is the only one that you will
get guidance on because you are still close enough
to the stages. But as soon as you leave, Bigby
is going to fly away. Okay. Nat 20. Oh my gosh.
Tony. Listen, no, I gave you all a choice and
I'm so happy with it. Okay. Matthias, he kicked
one of the horses in the head and you let out
this guttural roar that you didn't even know
that you could do as it happens. And you hit
your horse's reins, you jostle them as much as
you can. The horse dashes forward. Can I add
something? Yeah. For the roar, I used my changing
powers. I only changed my voice. local chords,
and I just yell, I'm very coarse, you are. In
Tina's voice. You do that, and you're also foaming
at the mouth as you say it, and your horse feeds
off of your energy and immediately starts chomping
its mouth towards the other competitor as you
rush back. You have two successes. What's your
next check that you're gonna do? Um, I am going
to all my really good checks, like don't apply
at all. Listen, if you want to make a case for
me, I will, I will allow it. I want to make a
case as a substitute for animal handling, a nature
check for my ability to just commune my intent
with the horse's will. Here's what I'll say.
I'll let you make a nature check but it's more
about seeing the ground of the arena and keeping
an eye out Seeing if there's anything yeah keeping
an eye out for you know, the terrain. Yeah is
the train flat? Am I seeing shit coming up as
a result of players? Yeah, and I'm gonna make
my nature check so with a nine I'm gonna palm
my little coin of fate, and I'm gonna flip a
coin. Okay. Wait, do I have a 9? Oh no, I lied.
I forgot my plus. I have a 14 with plus 5. Oh
yeah, you just make it. Fuck that coin. Fuck
that coin. I'm just like, yeah, let's go! Okay,
so with your nat 20, you dash and you keep up
with Matiasroki for the entire first two laps.
He is pissed. He does not like you. He doesn't
even think anyone should be near him. And I am
glowing with the proletariat's fury against the
bourgeoisie. Slightly feral, maybe a little rabid,
and you are keeping up with him. And you've got
everyone else a few seconds behind you. And the
two of you are leading this race together. Your
intimidation, your barking at Matthias Rokey.
What the fuck is wrong with it? Behind you. Should
I bark words at him like, right behind you? And
he's gonna be words. Yeah, absolutely. And then
you see that Matthias uses some magical effects
to try and create spikes that come out of the
ground that are formed from rock. And you are
keeping a good eye out. you're able to move your
horse to the right, to the left, to jump, to
dodge these different things. With all the distractions
that Matthias has made, you cross the finish
line after him. So he makes it first, and then
right after him comes Galleous. And then a few
seconds later, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh,
and eighth, cross the finish line, and the match
is done. You have come in second. Okay, continue.
Yeah, we get to, like, you know, address the
crowd or whatever for a moment. Yeah, Matias
Soroki hops over the, um, the, the fence that
is around the arena into the middle, which is
full of grass, and he does a victory lap just
around the center with his arms up, taking in
the crowd, you know. pompous ass self it's only
cool when we do it yeah yeah what did you uh
have an idea about that you i just want to like
shout out really like as loud as i can and like
make a big moment and it was like you know uh
in the interest of a fair race because not all
of us have all of the reach of the nobility i
want to give a shout out to oscar's flame treasures
uh for garmenting me in such athletic wear that
is so appropriate. Hell yeah. Go commoners. I
sent a message to say and Esti too. And my companion
Esti who won. No, no, no, no. Shit. Well, my
companion Giovanna who won the first race. You
said it. Oscar knew your actual names, right?
Didn't we? Did we not tell him? Yeah, uh, there's
a lot of contestants sponsored by oscar in this
race. Give me a performance check. Okay. Um,
uh, performance. I am pretty soft. Where the
fuck is it too? Uh, 13. Okay. You decent, decent
amount. Uh, you do slip esty's name. Uh, corrected
quickly to Juvana. Corrected quickly to Juvana.
Muzarel. Muzarel. A very normal name that I'm
sure no one will question. not at all fake. I
want the two of you to make a perception check
from up in the stands. 23. Okay with your 23
you see Oscar in the audience and he gives like
a little like he stands up as his name is is
said which is which you are screaming it in the
middle of a stadium that is cheering and so it's
not heard very well but enough that you know
he knew what was what was happening. Yeah well
at least one of you hasn't. I was literally thinking
it and then I'm like, is there a time where we
get to address the crowd? Cause we didn't have
any amplification. Amplified voices. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know how we, I didn't know how to announce
it. Well, you thumbed hers. It was fine. And
listen, Galleous just covered you. So you're
good. I'm giving Galleous for all of us. All
right. Galleous, you are approached given the
same broach that has been given to Estie and
you are returned to the stages. Uh, yep. And
you returned to, uh, Volandrus and Estie. Galleous.
You crushed it. That was kind of cool. Right?
I guess, I get why people like riding horses.
I've never done, I mean, I've like, everyone
has had to do a little bit, right? But I've never
like competitively ridden a horse like that.
You look like a natural out there. Crazy. Galleous,
you've earned this. Volandrus holds out his hand
for a handshake. The Hollywood handshake! He
just gives, he gives you a very good handshake.
It's a really good handshake. Well done. All
right, you're up next. You must be up next. So,
members, gather up the contestants for the fourth
round. Again, your heart kind of beats a little
faster every time someone walks by. So true.
No one comes to collect Volandros. The stage
then floats back above the arena after some time
and Franco Sforza's voice announcing the contestants
among them. Adonai Nahari, riding on a simple
horse, much less decorated than the other noble
family horses, smiling warmly to the crowd and
waving. The race begins. Adonai's horse darts
forward beyond the pack insanely quickly, faster
than any of the previous competitors, yourselves
included. Within a few seconds, he's created
a gap that looks impossible to cross. He turns
his head back. pats his horse slightly to maintain
the same distance instead of continuing to further
the gap. Behind him, people fight for the remaining
nine spots, some knocking each other off, some
throwing items, a few letting loose a few magical
effects, as subtly as possible if they can. One
lap completes, then the second lap. And you see,
as the third lap comes to completion, Adonai
Nahari, meters from the finish line, maintaining
his distance from the pack, a large bolt of arcane
energy flies up from behind him, Nabbing the
horse in the leg, throwing him forward as the
horse crashes to the ground. He crashes to the
ground, kicking up dust all around him, obscuring
his body. The other horses approaching his location
rapidly. Suddenly, from the cloud of dust, Adonai
bolts forward, running on foot towards the finish
line. Give me a perception check, all of you.
10. 10. 13. Okay, he jumps. He jumps towards
the end, sending himself forward in the air 5,
10, 20, 30, 40, 50 feet as he lands on the finish
line, slamming his hand to the ground as the
other contestants run by. The crowd erupts into
cheers, and you see Arnai immediately stand,
run back towards his horse, kneeling on the ground
beside it as its legs kick out in a twitching
motion, clearly in severe pain. He shoots a scowling
look at a half -elven woman in the arena with
him, closes his eye, a symbol on his forehead
glows with yellow energy as the horse's motions
calm to rest, and he helps move the horse to
stand and brushes his hand along its mane, touching
its head to its head, and then stepping up the
stirrups to Mounted Aken as the crowd cheers.
As they're leaving, you see him wave over a worker,
point at the woman, and the worker whispers something
in his ear. The stages float back down to the
ground as the contestants return. Some workers
come to collect the final group. An Arakocra
woman approaches. Val Cloaker. Yes? Come with
me, please. Big B? You've got this. Thank you.
All right. Val, you are led to the stables and
instructed to choose a horse. And as you look,
Val, All the way at the end of the row stands
this beautiful horse. Dark brown with a few white
splotches, a long white mane. Instead of my horse.
And you feel a connection to this horse instantly.
I feel an instant connection to that horse. You
feel an instant connection to that horse. All
right, well, I take it other people are also
gathering their horses, so I'm about to make
a beeline to that. All right. Roll to see if
no one gets there first. Oh my God, knowing my
luck, honestly. You run up to that horse. You
put your hand to the side of its head. Immediate
connection. It looks you directly in the eyes.
I look back. It's intimate. Yikes. Aren't you
a beautiful thing. It like nuzzles your head.
I still have some dried fruit from the dog, so
I'm gonna like take some out and feed it to the
horse. Absolutely, absolutely. It eats it right
from your hand and then licks you on the face.
The horses do that? This one does. I was like,
cool. That's a loving horse. Alright, so you
mount the horse. You line up along the gate as
the names are called. Stop mounting the horse.
I don't know, like after that I might take the
horse, like that just looks so wrong. As you're
waiting, the nasalliest and most pompous voice
pierces through. Out of the way, out of the way,
Lucia Borgia is here to make way for me. Make
way. As the half -elven woman with the bob haircut
trots in front of everyone, she's the one who
threw her satchel of gold to enter. And her name
is immediately called, as she says that. She
gallops into the stadium. Directly after that,
you hear, Val Cloaker. Nudge my beautiful steed
into motion, and we gracefully, I hope, canter
in after that bitch. Absolutely. You enter the
stadium, you take your place a few spaces away
from Lucia Borja. Can I sidle up right next to
her? Yeah. So I know I'm wearing a mask. So I
mean, already she has no idea who I am, but with
the mask, she really has no idea. Uh, and Val
just kind of like looks at her from the side,
you know, like from sideways and is like, best
of luck to you, Lady Borgia. Do you want to make
that intimidation check? Uh, sure. I mean, Bigby
can give you guidance right now. I feel like
I want to keep the guidance for - No, you can
- You can use guidance. Again, just the first
check. Scary ass Val Cloaker right now. Intimidation?
Yeah. Oh yeah. 25. She turns to you and just
like, she gives you a look that you've affected
her, which is enough. So as this is happening,
Franco Sforza's voice speaks from above and then
silence as you wait for the bang. The race starts.
You grab hold of the reins. And after a few seconds,
the skin in two spots on the horse's head burst
open as long, slim horns grow out of it, curling
around. and around. The head turns backwards
towards you as it's running, its eyes glowing
with fire. A soothing, sultry voice comes from
the horse as it speaks. Why hello, Lantris. It
has been some time since I've seen you. Where
did you go? It's now really the time. How did
you escape my sights? Like, I don't even know
what to do. Oh my god. Um, Volandros, like, is,
uh, he is very overstimulating. So he is actually,
like, having a fool on panic attack, he is looking
around to see if anyone else is seeing this.
Because there have been so many times that his
patron has, like, fucked with him and it's imaginary.
I want all of you to make a perception check.
17. 22. The two of you do not see any horns coming
from the horse. You are panicked. You can't tell
what's going on. And you hear it speak again
unless you want to respond. Turn your head back
around. It doesn't, but it's still running. It's
keeping up with all the other horses. You're
pretty much in a straight line with about three
other people. You seek answers to something I
can tell. That's why you're here, isn't it? No.
This isn't happening. Is this important to you?
Yes, it's important. That's why you should go
away. Would you like to win? That's what I'm
trying to do! I can make that happen. I can deliver
you right across this finish line. Impossibly
fast. Surely. To make a statement, would you
accept something like that? Oh, fuck. How is
Volandros's position amongst the other racers?
There are others pulling ahead. You're at the
moment. So at the moment you're, you know, you
could possibly make the top 10. You haven't made
any rolls right now, but you are being promised
something by a voice that you know well. Mm hmm.
I'm sure you'd like to win. I'm sure I can win
on my own merit. But it would be a guarantee.
And a guarantee of insane success. So he's grappling
with this. And he is like seeing that others
are pulling ahead of him. He is with the successes
of his companions. Volandros cannot stand. the
idea of him being the only one that does not
pass. So he is like, as he like nudges, you know,
his heels into his demon horse, he just like
sets his mouth into this like grim mask of like,
you know, ambivalence, you cannot see how he
feels, but he just gives this nod. Okay. And
you hear, we will not speak for some time. They
have many other things to attend to. I wanted
to say hello after so much time has passed. Not
just any mortal is able to thieve and swindle
time herself. I will always be with you. Call
upon me if you need me. And you don't need to
make any rolls. Your horse immediately kicks
up a huge puff of dust as it zips insanely fast
past the other contestants. This entire conversation
has happened within the first round of a lap
happening. You are solidly in like ninth place.
Your horse kicks up speed immediately, and by
the end of the second lap, you are tied with
first, along with Lucia Borja. You give her the
snottiest look, as in the final lap, your horse
dashes by her. easily it doesn't even look like
your horse is trying it goes insanely fast around
the ring and you cross the finish line 15 seconds
before lucia borja 30 seconds before any of the
other contestants as well oh my god the crowd
is silent as you cross the line first and then
they explode in cheers Give him a show. Anything
you would like to do? Yeah, he stands up, like
on the... What do you call them? Stirrups? Oh
yeah, stirrups. Yeah. And just, you know, like
yes, like very daintily kind of raises his hands
in this like, you know, somewhat humble acknowledgement
of his success. And takes a moment to raise his
voice. And he shouts out, of course this victory
would not have been possible without - There
are such fucking shells. And he also kind of
like turns and gives like a little smirk to Lady
Borgia. Like a little bitchy smirk. Love it.
Give me a performance check at advantage. Fucking
product placement. This would not have been muscle
without. uh performance that would be 23 beautiful
you are soaking this in lady borja gives you
the nastiest look i'm i think we're this is going
to be enemies to lovers i'm Positive. And you
do this loud enough that and the audience like
quiets because what you just did is crazy. And
so as you like make your way to announce the
Stadium of Science itself so they hear the whole
speech, Oscar stands and like moves his wings.
Alondra's like points at him. Like an actor on
a stage, you know, when they like get the audience
to like applaud themselves like that. Yeah, you
are given a broach as well as the other two contestants
that you that you're participating with and you
ride your horse back to the center of the arena
and then out. When you finish your speech and
sat back down on the horse, no more horns. you
return to the staging area, your friends are
there, you hear an announcement of Congratulations
to the victors of round one! Let's hear it for
them! What a fine day indeed! Tomorrow we will
continue with the Giostra della Cantana with
the Joust! May Jan Fenn guide your steps! and
Gia and the announcer floats away. There are
50 of you in total left for the second round,
and you are all standing on the stages, some
of them starting to depart. Run right up to Velandra's
like, what the hell was that? Wow. How do you
ride like that? That was great. That was insane.
Well, I mean, it's just good riding, isn't it?
It's gotta be, I guess, because you couldn't
use magic. I was born and raised on a horse.
Right. It shows. Yes. You killed it. Yes. Thank
you. Vlyndras is kind of like twitchy as fuck.
Vlyndra's teeth are his companions right now.
Did you do meth back there? Why are you so twitchy?
I don't know. The others were slow and ineffective.
What can I say? There wasn't much competition.
It was not even close! Yeah, you killed Lady
Borgia, whatever her name is. Yes, I did. And
you hear from you, as the three of you are talking,
as you say that, as you hear a slight chuckle,
as you turn and you see Adonai Nahari, the human
man, curly brown hair, and he chuckles and goes...
You surely did, and it was great to watch. The
three of you did fantastic today. Hi, nice to
meet you. I'm Adonai. And he puts out a hand
to shake each of your hand. Character question.
Was Adonai one of the noble people, or is he
just - Yeah, Adonai was the one who is a noble.
His horse was the one that got hit, and then
he ran back to heal it afterwards. You did great
over there. Oh, thank you. It was a little, you
know. It was a little feisty towards the end,
but I'm willing to put up a good fight. Do you
need any healing help? No, thank you, but I appreciate
the offer. Your horse okay. I saw you taking
care of her. Oh, yes, Diana, she's fine. Glad
to hear it. Good, that was some of the conduct
on these contestants. Shameful. Yeah, well, people
do what they can. There's a lot of people here
that could really use the money, and I think
they're willing to do what they can to make themselves
known. And to, um, help themselves. So I can't
blame them except for, you know, one of them,
but Diana's all right. Good. Glad to hear it.
Well, good luck in the next rounds. Um, if I
could offer some advice. Sure. Just because I
was appreciated, uh, by asking if my horse is
okay. And I was impressed by the way that you
all performed today. Tomorrow's a joust. So you
can use the armor that is provided. There's plate
armor that will be provided for everyone, but.
It's kind of shitty. So if you have any money,
I'd probably suggest to go buy some temporary
or rent some temporary plate armor that's not
bad. Thank you. I haven't seen the three of you
before even compete, so I assume this might be
your first time. We're a little low in funds,
but we'll see what we can... Well, maybe you
could rent one instead of buy one right out.
Yeah, that's a good idea. We really appreciate
your advice. Of course. Good luck. Thank you.
Same to you. Thank you. And he walks on off.
Alright, it looks like it's gonna be brutal tomorrow.
As you continue to talk a little bit, Prince
Mathias Roki and Luka Gonzaga are walking by
and they look towards the three of you and give
you like a little bit of a assessment. And then
they give you a slight nod, but they're like
very much keeping their posture tall as they
do it to acknowledge, but not too much. I do
the exact same thing back to them. Like I know
exactly what you're talking about. So Volandros
also like standing very tall, like with his head
raised and just that slight nod of acknowledgement.
Like I see you. You know, but that's I know we're
we're of the same level. Yeah, I'm getting there,
but I'm not going to give you more than that.
Nice. Well, congratulations. You have all passed
the first round. Take a quick break. All right.
Would you like to do anything with the rest of
your day? I guess we need to armor up, buddies.
Yeah, I will have reservations that I cannot
wear armor. And I'm wondering, is mage armor
enough for a joust? Should I? just lose the ability
to spell cast and be not proficient in everything,
to wear the armor. Why don't we stop by Ozkar's
and see if he can hook you up with something.
If there's anyone that can do it. You know that
Ozkar does not sell armor. Well, he doesn't sell
like metal armor. He gave you padded leather.
If he doesn't have anything that he can rent
to us, that's... You can ask him, but he will
probably point you in a different direction.
Okay, so he can point us in the direction of
someone. Yeah, I want to ask around about like...
the rule set of that, you know. What was the
name of the young fellow who was so kind as to
give us that advice? Adonai. Nahad. E. N -A -H
-A -R -I. Nahad means river. I know. Mmm, look
at you. Look at you, my late Hebrew boy. I guess
we start looking out some armor rental. Yep,
yep, yep, yep. Okay. So you know that there is
a general armorer that is in Janfin's steppe.
You also know that there are blacksmiths and
armorers and weaponsmiths in the crafter stages
as well. So up to y 'all what you want to do.
I think that us permanently enchanting or doing
something or upgrading our armor would be too
expensive. I don't think either of us can afford
it. Once we win, we'll have plenty of money for
that. Once we win. Yeah, I think maybe renting
is the only... thing we can do but i don't know
69 gold i have like a hundred and thirty three
and a half although we get our 50 gold back for
winning the first round don't we you do get your
first round the first round uh was 50 gold and
the second round is 150 if i remember correctly
and then there's places for third all right that
puts me at 119 that's a lot more workable okay
yeah and then there's places for third second
and first so You make your way, let's say, to
Yonfin's step first, to a general armorer, the
Chigatzian armorer. That's the name of the store.
And there is a stone dwarf currently standing,
hidden in an anvil, making a sword. No, he's
not making a sword, he's an armorer. He's making
some gauntlets. He's making some gauntlets. You
step in, there's a few other people in there,
looking around. Anything you'd like to do? I
speak Dwarven, so why not contact and lay on
the charm? Yeah, and I say, hello, brother. Hello.
You're just making direct eye contact with me
right now. I opened my mouth and said, oh, I
know what voice is going to come out as I look
at Katie. Hello. How can I help you? Well, brother,
we're participating in the tournament and we
actually... Ah, in the Giostra della Quintana!
Giostra della Quintana! What can I get for ya?
Well, hmm, we're doing the joust tomorrow. We're
gonna need to be armored. Someone suggested maybe
rent an armor just to make sure that we, you
know, we can compete with all these rich nebulities.
All right. Well, to buy some plate armor would
be about 1500 gold pieces. Yeah, too rich for
our blood right now. We're a little low in the
pockets. How long you want to rent it for? Just
for one day. All right. There will be insurance
in case it is damaged. Yeah. Armor. I'm not part
of this conversation because I don't speak Dwarven.
But I'm imagining as you were speaking in Dwarven.
Dwarfish? Dwarven. Dwarven. You were like, speaking,
speaking, speaking. Napple baby, speaking, speaking.
Napple baby. He says, I'll charge you 10 % of
what a purchase would be. 1 ,500 gold pieces
would be 150. gold to rent it for a day for a
full plate armor it'll bring your ac up to 18
however you could do splint armor which is 17
costs 200 gold to buy it normally that'll cost
you only 20 gold to rent for the day hang on
sorry i just want to make sure i'm understanding
it's 20 gold to get up to ac 17 and 150 to go
up to 18 correct just please so Plate cost 1500
gold, splint is 200, chainmail is 75, which brings
you to 16. None of us are proficient in heavy
armor. So here's the thing. You can wear heavy
armor, can't cast spells. Yeah. So if you choose
to, you know, wear the heavy armor, no spells.
For any of us? You, whatever, you're proficient
in heavy armor, so you're okay. But you as a
warlock and wizard, if you choose the higher
AC for this joust, no spells. But it's okay.
So today we learned, I mean, at least for the
first round of magic was deeply frowned upon.
So it seems like it's going to be either, you
know, that joust is one on one. So I want to,
I want to find someone to ask about that. And
like the combat situation, like joust is combat,
right? Can I do a little joust magic or should
I just lose spell casting for the day? You know,
maybe there's someone we can talk to about it.
I don't even have a high enough strength score
to wear Chain Splendor plate armor. Is there
anyone else in the shop right now that was maybe
there today, and we can be like, hey? Maybe Gallis
would know from his historical memory. Not with
the nat 1 he just rolled on perception. I'll
go with the heavy, with the plate, full plate.
So it's going to be 150 smackeroonies. Yep. All
right, I shall rent it for the day. But turn
it to me tomorrow! Why so aggressive? Wow, you
got it, brother. And the 150 is just to rent.
I'll need extra for insurance. How much extra?
A hundred. I don't have it. Is this being in
a different language? Yeah, I don't have, I don't,
I wouldn't have another hundred. How much do
you have? I mean, in total I have a hundred and
eighty three and a half gold and that is it.
I don't have anything else. Alright, well...
Brother! If it gets damaged, you'll bring it
back to me, and you'll find a way to pay it off.
Maybe you can become an armorer yourself! Wow,
that's actually... I have no idea how to speak
with this accent, so I'm just... It's really
not that bad. You know, my father does some blacksmithing,
and he made me this axe. Are you a crafter? No,
I want to. I want to learn, actually. Do you
want to be an armorer? I mean... I think I would
love to be able to upgrade my own armor. Wouldn't
that be really nice? That would. Do you want
to learn? I would love to learn. What's going
on here? Is this going to be like in Ghost? Where
you're like crafting armor together and he's
like putting his armor around you? Well, right
now I'm at my shop selling things. But come to
the crafter stages later after I'm done and we
can talk. Oh, I would love that. Thank you so
much. All right. See you little lassie. And then
he says, not in Dormish in common, he turns the
two of you and he says, would you like anything?
You happen to know a little bit more about the
competition. We were advised to wear armor for
the joust, but I'm a bit of a spellcaster myself.
Will I have my full range of talents permitted
or? No, spellcasting is not allowed during the
joust. Right, good to know. One -on -one combat.
Well, horse combat. Joust combat. Horse combat.
I, okay, I also have a guess, an out of character
question regarding your ability to wear armor.
Yeah. If you put armor on and you're not allowed
to cast spells, you can just, I mean, you can
just... You can still wear the armor, right?
Correct. Yeah, I just can't wear spells at all
and I get disadvantage on stealth. You can't
cast spells at all. At all. What is your strength
modifier? What is your total strength? No, it
also gives disadvantage on any checks involving
strength or decks. I will say, because it's a
joust, and this is not a real, you know, combat
thing, that I won't impose disadvantage on strength
checks. Yes, on stealth, if you need to make
stealth while wearing it. but that you just won't
be able to cast spells and that what is your
strength score Galleon send? Ten. Okay. So there's
a requirement to wear chain, splint and plate,
which is 13 and 15. So you could probably get
either ring mail or you could do half plate,
which is 15 plus your decks. I think half plate
would get me higher. Or breastplate, which is
14 plus your decks with a maximum of two. Although
you're still not proficient in them, so you can't
cast spells. Well, I just want whatever is going
to be the highest. What's your strength score?
10. 10. So, likely half plate, which is 15 plus
your deck's modifier. Which is also low. But
that's okay. Yeah. And pretty much the same for
you, Galleous. And I don't know if 15 plus your
deck's modifier is going to be higher than mage
armor. Yeah, it is. Mage armor gets me to 40.
Well, can I even use mage armor if I can't use
magic? Well, I'm saying if you don't wear the
armor and you just use mage armor. But I'm thinking
is mage armor illegal altogether? Can you cast
it before then put the armor on? Like if I cast
it before, will they hold it against me that
I'm wearing mage armor and making me dispel it?
I need to go find someone that I can dispel it.
Like you can't really cast a mix of spells before
the joust either? You don't know. I want to go,
I need to go find someone to ask around. I want
to say, like, hold a thought. I want to, uh,
I want to go figure out what my plan of action
is going to be before I make any purchases, but
I'll be back. And he says, do you have any anything
that I can help with? I am just trying to figure
out what would be an appropriate strategy for
me to take in the joust, given my not especially
strong physical. Well, you're a wizard, right?
I can tell from the spell book on your side.
You can cast mage armor if you want. They'll
allow that. Defensive spells are one thing. Offensive
spells are very different. However, as you know,
as soon as you put on something that you're not
proficient in, bye bye spells. So. I would do
some math and see if you're going to be a little
bit better with your normal mage armor or if
maybe, you know, something like a half plate
would would benefit you. Defensive spells are
all right. Things like mage armor. Yeah. Or shield
of faith. Or shield. What does that do? Plus
two to my AC. We'll get into the rules of the
joust and you'll get your answer on shield. OK.
That is very important to my desire to purchase
or not. Because being able to cast shield puts
my AC way above what I can buy, but only a number
of hits. Yeah. He says in general, dispensive
spells are allowed to prepare, but in general,
spells during the joust are not often allowed.
That would be no shield, because that's a during.
That's a reaction, yeah. It's a live cast in
the moment. And he says, well, in common. Well.
Half Plate is 750 gold, so 10 % of that is 75
gold. Rent it for the day. Would you like to?
Oh. I just need a moment before I make a decision.
I'm gonna go outside. Alright. Well, Breast Plate
and Scale Mail are also 14 plus your Dex Mod,
and that's 50 gold for Scale Mail, and 400 gold
for Breast Plate. I'll take whatever. Is it half
scale? Half Plate, 75 gold, please. All right,
here you go. I'm going to use my phone to take
75 away from my gold because I cannot do it myself.
All right. Galeus, if money is a concern, I can
do this. I can afford the half. It would just
be like, it would just empty us out. I understand.
So I can just, I can loan you the rest. We have
gems that we didn't sell yet. I don't have any
gold left, but I have gems. Oh yeah, you have
gems that you found in the thing. You can sell
those. So we're not, I mean, I would say Prepare
yourselves as best we can. At least winning is
the goal. I'd like to rent a half -plit for a
day. He says, all right, that'll be 75 gold.
Then he turns to you and he says, in Dwarven,
do you want a shield with that? Or are you going
to use one of the provided ones? Or do you have
your own? I have my own. Can I use my own? Yeah.
All right, great. I'll just keep my own. All
right. And then he turns to you in common. Would
you guys like shields? code switching. Yeah.
No, I think, I think we receive one. All right.
That'll work. Such a beautiful language, Dwarven.
I love listening to you. He says in Dwarven,
thank ya! Wow. Absolutely gorgeous. I'll be using
the provided shield. All right. Good luck. Thank
you, brother. Off with ya! Okay. Oh my god. I'll
be back after hours for my first lesson. All
right. Meet me in the crafter stage's southern
flank. You got it. I'm gonna have to keep doing
this voice. Yeah, your choice. The way it be.
It does, it is painful. Yeah, I will let you
know it's painful. It hurts me as well whenever
I speak. Well, emotionally, it hurts you. All
right, that's all I can do. Well, it seems we
have time to kill before, because the next round
is tomorrow. Like, the joust is next day, so
we have some time. I think we should eat dinner
because, Tony, you haven't described any yum
yums for us. Yeah, and I also think we should
visit this after hours, um, craft zone. The crafter
stages? Crafting stages? Yeah, because we're
getting a lot of adverts for it, so I'm starting
to think maybe we should stop by. I want to learn
some smithin. Smither. Brother. Your brother.
My brother. Your brother. Gonna have to change
that. No. Alright, well if it comes from the
Scott, then. Okay, so would you like to go to
the tavern that you're staying or you want to
go somewhere different? Let's go somewhere different.
Yeah, with a new menu. New vibes. What kind of
vibes are we looking for? Celebratory. Also,
you know, we need some protein for tomorrow.
We need to be fucking strong. Yeah, I'm a little
worried about armor and weapons and all of that.
Did you get armor? I did. You did, okay. Okay,
you see this this beautifully decorated building
as you're looking for a different restaurant
to attend. And you see a sigil of a pegasus.
And above it, you see the writing, the courageous
pegasus. And it's they have openings to the outside
for seating that have pergolas above it with
these flowering wisterias above it. And then
they also have inside seating as well. And they
have a bunch of different flags above them showing
a bunch of the different Royal Family competitor
flags throughout the joust. Definitely looks
like a place that people in the tournament are
there celebrating. Well, how about this place?
Yeah, let's, let's, you know. Are you still wearing
your mask? Uh, I suppose I would have taken off
at this point. Okay. But I am still Primrose.
But you're all still wearing the outfits that
you wore during the day. Yeah, we didn't go home
after. It looks sluttier on Primrose. You're
wearing, you changed to Primrose, but you're
wearing the same outfit that Gally was wearing.
Yeah, I didn't change my clothes. Okay. Maybe
we should change your clothes. Yeah, all right.
I could do that. Something more casual? Somewhere
private. An alleyway nearby. Are we near our
homo heraith? Can we just go and change real
quick? I think Volandros would have the presence
of mind to not wear this. Alright, yeah, you
all go back to homo heraith. Change your outfits.
Change it up, Mimi. I'm wearing one of my really
cute outfits that I bought for promos that started
revealing. Yeah, very nice. I'm going to have
a dinner and drinks, you know. You change it
up. You head back to the courageous Pegasus.
May you brisk boobily reason just trees just
having fun. Yeah And you make your way back to
the courageous pegasus you enter in and make
a perception check Pretty good for me 14 13 11
okay, there people turn their heads a little
bit as they as you walk in but nobody really
clocks you at the at the moment the Ambience
is loud. Sounds of chatter and clinking glassware
immediately hits your ears as you walk in. The
clatter of plates and silverware. The chatter
of people talking very excitedly about today's
activities. A half -elven woman approaches you
and says, Hi. How many? Three. Inside or outside?
How's the weather? Well, you just came in from
outside. Oh, yeah, it's nice. It's calm. It's
cool. It's collected outside. I wouldn't mind
a little outside. Be nice to watch the streets.
Yeah, right. She leads you outside to a table.
Above you is this beautiful pink flowering wisteria
with the pergola above and you are sitting at
a table and next to you there are some other
people that you do recognize. No one of notable
presence but other competitors from the from
the from the horse race today. You sit down and
she says, all right, well, what can I get you
to eat today? Why don't you describe the menu
in great detail? Well, we at the Courageous Pegasus
have many things, many things available. We've
got warm meat noodles. We've got some classic
porridge. Leek casserole. We've got some dumplings
that are made from whales. We use the actual
blubber to create the dumplings themselves and
then fill them with the intestines of a whale.
Yandy, and then you lost me. Yam bread. Bread
made from yams. We've got some orange jam pie.
Oh! So are we looking for desserts? Are we looking
for dinner? We should be looking for dinner.
That's just standard. Yeah. I've got some meat
and rice. I've got some seaweed salad. It's delicious.
And some meatloaf. And of course, Chigatse and
Dalekasee that we have at most restaurants. Stuffed
grasshoppers. I do like those. Yes. I guess what
do we have? Vegetarian? Vegetarian -wise, we
have water. We have leek casserole. We've got
some very well -cooked onions that have been
caramelized and then placed on top of steaks
of broccoli. Very delicious. We also have stuffed
peppers that have been stuffed with a range of
different grains and vegetables. Stuffed peppers
and a leek casserole. Coming right up. Thank
you. And the two of you? Those dumplings sounded
really appetizing. The whale dumplings? Yes.
They're delicious. And for you? I'll do the casserole.
Leek casserole? All right. You want to share?
To drink? We've got our specialty drink today
called the Mind Flayer. Ooh. Tell me more about
that. I don't know why, but it makes me feel
real uneasy. It's a very heavy alcoholic drink.
I'll do. All right. Any red wine? Of course.
I'll have a nice red. All right. I think I'll
stick with Walter. Sounds good. I'll be back.
She leaves. After she leaves, Volandros just
like subtly takes his little horse pin and pins
it on himself. Okay. So even though he's not
still in costume, he's still like a winner. I'm
a winner. I'm a winner, baby. Where they wear
their badges to work for him. Just, you know.
Two race beater badges. How do we think tomorrow's
gonna go? Hmm. However, I mean, I know that you
you fight with a weapon sometimes you have your
Glaive, but what do you do? You feel a little
I'm a little nervous. Yeah. All right. Well,
I can how about this? in my younger years, I
did participate in similar sporting events and
Perhaps I can give you some pointers on how to
joust. I'll take what I can get. I'm definitely
not just going to make up off the top of my head
right now. Yes, pointers. So, as I saw you ride
today, you seem to have a very good posture and
balance on your horse. The only thing to keep
in mind is tomorrow you'll also be holding the...
So think about your balance. You know, you'll
be... That's why they hold them up before they...
Correct. See, you understand, you understand.
Yeah, so you want to wait until the last possible
moment before lowering your lance. You're in
the charge, you want the lands out, right? See?
That was a trick. I feel more confident now.
Yes, but at the end of the day, you just have
to hit them. And hit them harder than they hit
you. As you're discussing these three girls walk
up they each have their hair in like big ponytails.
They're each chewing gum They walk up each of
them have a little horse That's our episode name.
Bumgubbles. Bumgubbler. They walk up and one
of them is like twisting their hair. Says, I
saw you perform today. I guess you did pretty
good. What's your name? My name? Yeah, I'm Bethany.
Pleasure to meet you, Bethany. My name is Val.
Val. Val. What's your last name? What's your
last name? Beth. Bethany Beth. Yeah, do you have
a problem with it? Who are you? Oh, I'm no one
in particular. It looks like it. Anyway. Wow.
Val, what's your last name? Why do you ask? Because
I told you mine. No, you didn't. Beth. That's
not your last name. Are you insulting me? I'm
not insulting you. I don't believe you were invited
to this table. So while I'm sure you're a big...
I don't think you were invited to this restaurant.
Well, while I'm sure you are a big Fan, the adults
are having dinner. How can I help you? Do you
know who I am? My father runs this establishment.
Mr. Beth. Mr. Beth is right. Okay. Do you want
me to get him? Sure. I'd love to meet him. He's
working right now because he has a job. All right.
Unlike you. What do you recommend in this place
anyway? I recommend that you leave. Do you? Beth
and me, what's going on? What's going on with
you? What's your name? My name is Giovanna Muzarell.
Are you sure? Because your friend said something
different today. What? Yeah. That guy. The human.
He doesn't know her that well. Geo. Yeah, Geo.
But you know him. His name. Bethany, who hurt
you? Bethany, does your father approve of you
harassing customers? Make an insight check, all
of you. Why is it with, like, just repulsive
teenagers? They're adults. No, they're adults.
They're other competitors. Okay, with your 21,
you and in general with your collective insights,
you get the sense that like their competitors,
they're pissed that the two of you that they
recognize are there that you've done so well.
One of them is wearing one of the pins and the
two of them behind them are not. Bethany. Are
you wearing your pin? Yes. Bethany, your performance
today was great, and I love your outfit. Thanks.
I know. It cost a lot of money. My daddy bought
it for me. Must be nice. It shows. Yeah, a lot
of money. His money does show. Exactly. I'm glad
you see it. Your daddy didn't buy you anything
by the looks of it. Alright, that's quite enough.
I agree. Yes. I don't need to waste my time here.
It's okay. Let the girl be insecure. She can
look and laugh and jibe all she wants. But we're
having a lovely dinner, with or without Bethany.
Well, good luck tomorrow. I hope you do amazing.
And to you. Oh, I'll be rooting for you very
hard. Break a leg and your horses. Bye -bye!
She turns around and scampers out, and her two
friends behind her flanking her just give you
like a little... If they chew their gum. I want
to... Kill her. I want to cast Fireball. No,
I do want to cast... I can cast it using a Spell
slot as an action. Oh, I didn't prepare that
spell today, never mind. I was going to try to
trip her with 10 stars floating disk. Just summon
a floating disk at ankle level and just knock
her down. But I didn't prepare it today. I can
cast Witch Slap. Yeah, I'm just going to... very
trying to discreetly send a mage hand to try
to trip her up. Okay, give me an arcana check.
Give me a sleight of hand check. His mage hand
invisible. Okay, you send mage hand, you grab
her ankle and she falls to the floor, smacks
her head on the ground. And then I dismiss this
hand right away so that there's no evidence.
Yeah, and she's like, why didn't you look out
for me? And she says to the two girls behind
her and then she stands up and storms away. She
really doesn't have it together. Girl can't even
walk on her own two feet and she expects to win
a joust. And I wink at my companions. And I just
conjure a small mage hand floating above my own
and back into my hand. In all seriousness, we
need to end her life tomorrow. Right? I am fully
prepared for one of us to get disqualified just
to fuck up Bethany. And the other two move on.
It's worth the money. Just right through the
head. Right through the head. Just full on phantasmal
force the bitch. If we could get her friends
too in the same fell swoop, that would be amazing.
You see on the street walking by, you see Adonai
Nahari. He's not talking to you, you just see
him walking by. I'm gonna nudge the others and
point him out since he was very friendly to us.
Ask him to join us. Adonai! hey brother oh he
turns his head uh he's walking alone he turns
his head and smiles and walks up to the side
of the uh the the restaurant the railing you
want to join us oh um that would uh are you are
you sure yeah yeah if you're hungry we order
you'd be very welcome yes all right um yeah sure
i'll give me a second and he uh walks around
in comes back outside uh pulls up a chair next
to you Oh, so how's it going? What are you guys
doing today? What are you doing for the rest
of your day? You know, we just looked for armor.
We took your advice and we rented some armor
for tomorrow. Oh, good. Good. Very nice. What
did you two get? Because I know, you know, spells
and such. I got a half plate. Oh, OK. All right.
I can't quite remember. Our friend Geo turned
in early for the evening, but I think he also
got it. Ah, yes, this is Primrose. It's a pleasure
to make your acquaintance. Lovely to make your
acquaintance, Primrose. I'm Adonai. I've heard
so much about you. Oh! All right, well, yeah,
that comes with the name. Just that you were,
no, no, no, not even from the name, from my friends.
Just that you were a kind gentleman who showed
great care for his horse and gave them some helpful
advice. Yes, I love Diana. So, yeah. Your name,
though? Adonai, yes. Sounds like you might be
part of the tribe. Oh, a long time ago, my family,
you know, was part of the Twelve Tribes, but
we don't. Not for a long time. All right. I mean,
the city of Nishamah has lots of roots that go
back to Pure Mount, but as of recently, we follow
a different religion. You follow a different
religion? Mm -hmm. If you ever feel like praying
with someone, you know, for good old times. Don't
come on too strong, Essie. Don't bother the man.
We don't proselytize. That's not part of our
thing. But just a friendly offer. Well, thank
you. I appreciate that. Have you been attending
the temples here? You know, we're just kind of
focusing on the tournaments, so I didn't really
have... You know, I pray at the end of the day,
but... Well, hey, if you ever make your way over
to Neshima, we have a temple for each of the
different tribes. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Meshima
used to be part of Puremount, but tectonic plates
moved them across the centuries closer and closer
to Anima. And so that's where our roots from
Puremount really come from. But since for the
last few hundred years, we've been a lot closer
to Anima, we have kind of developed, you know,
as times have progressed. I have a weird question
to ask you. Yeah. There's a holiday that we celebrate.
Actually, you helped kind of come up with the
holiday, but I don't know if it traveled all
the way to your... You ever hear of Hanukkah?
Of course, I've heard of it. Oh, you guys celebrate
it? No, we don't. I mean, there are people in
the city that probably celebrate it, but it's
not like a national holiday for us, no. I'm glad
that it traveled because, yeah. Yeah, it came
to popularity, I don't know, 40, 45 years ago.
Mm -hmm. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, I came up
with some of the... I don't want to show off.
Really? Yeah. That's very interesting because
you don't look that old, even for an ASMR. You
know, it's those genes Family genes and Elsir,
you know, yeah. Yeah, give me a deception check
at advantage She just can't help herself ST is
very different than Isabelle Okay 23 okay. He
says oh, yeah. I mean, I guess you age a little
bit slower than humans do So well, that's that's
very cool. Anyway, which tribe are you part of?
I'm gonna lie and come up with a different one
Okay You say the dag tribe Yes, which God is
one of the official 12 tribes But we'll say that
one of the 12 that I've written down is dag.
And so we'll use that one Does it? Oh, that's
funny. That I did not know. This is really fishy.
He really likes fish. So you say, Dagon, he says,
ah, all right, very, very nice. Well, always
tell us a little bit more about yourself. What
brings you here competing in the race? Oh, well,
you know, of course, whenever there's there's
one of these tournaments, a lot of us nobles,
I hate even using that term, participate in these
in these trials. And You know, Lady Montefeltro
is beautiful and would love a courtship dinner
with her. And of course, my family would love
some kind of marriage between the two of us,
but... Is that what you would love? Eh, not necessarily,
but I have a duty to provide to my family, and
that's what I'm here for. And you know, if you
had the freedom, what would you prefer? Because
I know something of being torn between duty and
desire. Make a persuasion check for me. Nine.
Yeah. You get the sense that you've asked him
a bit of an uncomfortable question for just having
met him very recently. And he says, Oh, well,
I will, of course, want whatever's best for my
family. You know, the Nahari line is, is, um,
you know, well -known, well -prominent, but of
course nothing close to the Roki. Um, so anything
that would help us is, is absolutely beneficial
for me. And I'm happy to participate in the events
here. It's a good way to exercise my skills,
if anything. Well, we're happy to meet you. Yeah,
and why have you all decided to join? I mean,
we're adventurers, so we seek adventure, and
we actually just stumble upon this tournament
and decided to give it a try. Yeah, I mean, two
Asimar and a human, that's, you know, an interesting,
you know, two Asimar and a human walk into a
bar. It's a very interesting combination, the
three of you. I have to say that you're quite
different. in a good way from all the other nobles
yeah i i uh i'm not a dick let's just say i was
trying to find a nice yeah no they're they're
um they were born into the places they have whereas
my line is relatively new to the nobility and
uh we want to do what we can to keep that i was
going to say i'm from mondolori originally oh
apart The north, the northern part. Okay. Yes.
And I was just, you know, thinking that I am
quite familiar with many of the families from
here. And yes, I was not familiar with your name,
but it sounds like... Which line? You're familiar
with the families, which line do you come from?
Well, how about you go first? I'm from the Nahari
line. No, sorry. I mean, tell me more about your
family. Like, how did you... Sounds like Rose
is going to enter the chat and say, oh, well,
my friend here is actually saving that for a
bit of a reveal. So you saw he was competing
with a mask earlier. So he's hoping to keep things
under wraps for a moment of. Ah, what's the word
I'm looking for? Dramatic surprise. Yeah, we're
very much into drama in our party. Spoil the
surprise. From your performance today. Well,
your secret's safe with me, Val. Thank you. Appreciate
it. Well, this has been nice, but I'm probably
not gonna stay for dinner. I ate kind of recently,
and I do have to meet up with someone, so thanks
for the quick little chat. It was nice to talk
to you. Enjoy your evening. Good luck tomorrow.
Absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Yes, well. Enjoy Primrose. Very nice meeting
you. And to both of you, good luck and give your
friend Geo my best wishes. Will do. Have a lovely
night. You too. See you tomorrow. He gets up
and leaves the waitress comes back with some
food. She gives you your plate of stuffed grasshopper
No, you didn't get to that. You got the blubber.
Well, you got the whale dumplings You had grasshoppers
this morning you get your plate of leek casserole
and stuffed peppers and you get your bowl of
leek casserole You all dig in delicious the whale
dumplings are very difficult to bite through
And then as you do they have this pie and then
a warm liquid fills your mouth. No, you do not
need to do that for us. We could just say we
ate it. Val didn't have water or something vile.
Now did he? It is strangely delicious. The texture,
like you're having sensory overload for the texture,
but it is delicious tasting. Like passing it
around. Not kosher, not kosher, sorry. I totally
would, but no. Your stuffed peppers are delicious,
crisp on the outside and then on the inside filled
with some mixture of like cheesy, grainy, maybe
not cheese. Kosher is just not dairy. I can have
dairy there. I mean, yeah, for sure. This restaurant
doesn't have the kosher stamp on it. But you
know, I'm gonna do what I can do. Yeah, yeah,
I mean, yeah But it's a the stuffed peppers are
a our lovely mix of grains and vegetables and
cheese on the inside And then the lead casserole
that you both have is beautifully creamy with
nice little pleasant crunches of leak on the
top that have been crisped and caramelized and
You get the mind flayer drink Make a intelligence
saving throw. Do you want a guidance for that
brother? I got a 16. Okay. You're good. You can
feel that something tried to like affect your
mind a little bit from the shot. This is not
a normal drink. No, it is not. No, I mean like
not alcohol, like not just like, like the - There's
more than alcohol in this drink. It tried to
do something psychic. Brother, it's called a
mind fling. I just thought that was thematic.
Let me see that. It's empty. Oh, you took a shot?
Yeah, it's a shot. Oh, I was like, damn. Yeah,
that was kind of alarming. So it wasn't good.
How did it taste? Oh, delicious. Delicious. You
know that, that blue alcohol, what's it called?
No, no, no, no, no, no. The one that comes in
the swirly bottle. I had it a ton in college.
Hypnotic. It tastes like hypnotic. Oh my God.
I was fucking not addicted because that would
be actually be bad, but I loved hypnotic. I would
bring hypnotic to me in college, to like every
party. It was every lecture it was so good never
tried it. Oh, it's it's probably terrible I haven't
had it in ten years, but it was it was it was
the shit someone brought it to one party And
then I drank it was amazing and then I yeah,
that was it anyway You pass your dinner with
lovely chatter the way just comes back and tells
you that your total is about two gold the the
you when you look at the the the bill you see
that The one one gold of it was the mind flayer
drink and one gold of it was everything else
Drink included I can pay for that You pay and
anything else you want to do during the night
before tomorrow? I mean I should go and see my
Dwarves to a brethren. All right. Tony's stealing
himself. Get ready for that. Sweet, sweet. I'm
going to come along and scope out because he
said it's going to be like a square of other
like tens. So like, you know, I want to check
out. Yeah. An apprentice. I want to get into
potion crafting. Yeah. You make your way north
through Janfin's hand up to the crafter stages.
Dusk has begun to hit. And you can see, actually,
I want all of you to make a perception check.
23. eight nine okay the two of you are are walking
through you like the layout of this city feels
like really familiar and you don't know why um
but you get some weird kind of like almost nostalgic
feeling as you're walking through the city that
especially as you go north through jonathan's
hand you pass by this large castle It looks so
familiar to you. You can't place it. You don't
know why. You've never been here before, but
it looks very familiar. And then around it there
are different areas set up. And on the western
and northern flank of the castle, of which the
castle has entrances on all four sides. Large
grand staircases coming on all sides. It is lit
up and you can see people carrying things, people
carrying shopping bags, walking in and out of
the castle. And then all around on the outskirts
of the castle, you see a bunch of different shops
set up. Smoke billowing out from a lot of the
tops. of them as work seems to be happening inside.
And as you walk into this area of the crafter
stages, the chatter picks up. You hear the sounds
of hammers hitting anvils. You hear the sounds
of cauldron bubbling. You hear the sounds of
a furnace blowing as a glass blower creates some
vials. And you make your way and follow through
to where the nice dwarven man told you to. You
find him in a large... Open building that has
four posts on all corners with a tall roof that
is made of lattice metal material With a large
forge in the center He is there lining up a few
things along the forage sees you walk in and
he says ah, I didn't know if I was gonna see
ya Mm -hmm. I said I'd come right brother. Yes,
so what can I help you with you want to be a
crafter? What about he turns into common and
what about your friends? Do you want to learn
how to craft as well? I was actually hoping to
meet an alchemist to begin some lessons in potion.
Ah, an alchemist. You're looking for Agatha.
Agatha? Yes. Where can I find her? She is in
the south -western flank. Got it. And you'll
find her with a shop, Agatha. All along. All
along. On my way. Thank you. Any turns to you
and you? I think I'm going to take a look around.
All right. I might come back. Do you have any
questions about what kind of things you could
find here? Well, I'd hope to see by looking around.
Okay, well that's totally fine too. And then
he turns back into Dwarvish. So... Well, you
want me to explain a bit about crafting in the
first place so you can understand how it works?
Sure. All right. We've got seven levels of being
a crafter. Novice. Apprentice. journeyman, adept,
artisan, master. And then a final above master
that has to use a unique title for each profession.
And for us as armors, we have the title Grand
Armorsmith. Which I am. Wow. That is so cool.
Took a long time. Took a very long time. But
at each different level, you can learn to do
different things. Now at novice, you can make
base weapons or armors, base potions if you're
trying to do that. And there's gold requirement,
five gold to become a novice. To increase to
the apprentice level, you have to make at least
10 crafted items and spend at least 50 hours
working on the craft. You wanna get started?
Yeah, let's do this. All right, well. If you
give me five gold, I'll outfit you with all the
proper things that you need. And in order to
work as an armor smith, you've got to find a
place to work. And I will happily rent out my
space for you to practice. Anytime you want to
come, I'll charge you about 50 silver an hour.
Okay. Sound good? Yes. All right. Things that
you can make right now as a novice. Basic metallic
armors, plate armor, splint armor, chain armor,
breastplate, those kinds of things. And you can
only make armor. You want to make weapons? That's
a weaponsmith. Okay. Yeah. I mean, armor, I think,
is something. I mean, I've always had a dream
to work on. Yeah, your breastplate is beautiful.
Thank you. Yeah, I never want to really change
this. I can feel it in myself. Yeah, I love my
armor. So I'd want to admit it. It's actually
just a family heirloom. I have many, many more,
you know, clerics before me wore this very breastplate.
The jewels in it are inert. Sorry? The jewels
in it, the gemstones, they're inert. Okay. I
can tell. I mean, they look special to me, but
they are very special. But they don't have power
to coursing through them. It looks like they
normally would Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's
where I'm at right now. It's not really my home.
Yeah Well, I don't have the answer as to why
I'm just telling you that they look in there.
Mm -hmm Alright, he hands you a blacksmith in
Armorsmith's hammer And he gives you a tool belt
that you can wear and he starts instructing you
look So hot. Cool. You roll up your sleeves,
so you've got your muscles showing, and you start
working away. What is the first thing that you
would like to make? You can make any of the base
armor items that come, so you can make a chain
shirt, you can make breastplate, you can make
half -plate, you can make a ringmail, chainmail,
splint, or plate. I can make a full breastplate
armor? Breastplate armor. It will take time to
do so, but I'm not saying you're gonna be able
to do it tonight. I'm going to say that you can
start on making a breastplate. Okay. How long
do you stay there? It's dusk. How long do you
stay there working, learning? A couple hours.
Does that make sense? Okay. We'll say how about
four hours? Sounds good. Okay. Mark somewhere
for crafting in general, a place to keep track
of the amount of hours that you've put in and
the amount of things that you've crafted. So
you spend about four hours in those four hours.
It's a lot of this man showing you how to work
a forge how to work an anvil, how to melt different
ores down to become solid pieces of metal that
you can then use to craft things. So you don't
really get a ton of work into creating the actual
breastplate itself, and you are learning more
about the techniques. However, you've got four
hours into the crafted total and four hours into
creating a breastplate. I will tell you when
you complete the breastplate. What would the
rest of you like to do? definitely head toward
Agatha all along, but on my way I want to scope
out like, what are all of the different crafting
options? I guess I'm gonna walk with you while
you do that. Okay, you walk through and you see
a lot of typical blacksmiths. You left the armor
station, Weaponsmith. You pass a tent that is
filled with a bunch of different herbs that you
get. There's an herbalist. Next to it, you see
a tent. You see Agatha all along's tent with
bubbling cauldron inside. A little bit further
down, you see a bunch of different cogs outside
of one of the buildings, and you see someone
in there that looks like an engineer. You pass
by a carpenter making wooden things. A mason
that is an entire, that sticks out. as their
entire shop is built out of a stone that seems
slightly magically enchanted. You pass by someone
that has tons of baskets of scrolls outside,
and then you pass by a bookstore. You see a farmer
stall that has someone selling a bunch of different
just crops that they've grown. And the same thing
with a fisherman's stall. I might check up on
the scroll. Okay. So, do you keep walking? Mm
-hmm. Okay. We'll say, you walk into the scroll
shop. You step in. There is a heir genasi standing
inside. And they turn to you and they say, hello,
I'm Jenu. Pleasure to meet you, Jenu. My name
is Primrose. The pleasure is mine. What can I
help you with? Are you here to shop? Are you
here to learn? Potentially a little bit of both.
I want to learn a little bit more about what
it is you would have to teach. Is this to create
scrolls from one's own spell book, perhaps? Well,
this is to create scrolls for different spells.
And yes, typically to create a scroll, you need
to know the spell that you are making. And we
make different scrolls that people can use in
their daily lives, whether or not they know the
spell itself. If you want to create scrolls,
whether that's something that you can use or
whether it's something you want to sell for a
high price, this is the place. I should be a
good money maker. But I also want to learn how
to make potions. Well, if you want to make potions,
if you stall us down, is agapa? Potions would
be pretty useful for us as a player. I think
potions will be very useful to us, and I'm inclined
to go there, because I'm making scrolls of spells
that I know. It could be, I could sell them for
money, but I could do that with potions too.
Scrolls would probably make more money. because
I can get a pretty wide variant, you know, selling
scrolls of mirror image and, you know, like...
Oh God, I'm just tempted. I think I want to learn
how to make potions. What do you have for sale
today? What are you looking for? Well, how much
would a second level spell scroll cost? Well,
I'm curious about picking up Misty Step. Misty
Step, I would sell you four. 200 gold. Okay.
How about 150? And why would I do that? Because
you like me so much. Because I have such a striking
smile. That you do. Make a persuasion check.
I was like, shit, I don't have an answer for
that. Come on, action persuasion. Because I'm
tit for once. Titfully boobling. Persuasion?
Nine. You do have a very nice smile, but I, a
husband who has an even nicer smile back at home,
nothing against you. But I spent a lot of time.
And should you ever take up the craft, you'll
understand how much time and energy it costs
to make even a second level spell. So 200 it
is. Not even say 180? All right. Because I like
your attitude. 180. Oh, you are an absolute doll.
Here you go. Thank you. So, would you like to
continue there or you were gonna go to Agatha?
I'm gonna go to Agatha. Okay. You continue walking
and you see another stall, another building filled
with a bunch of different ores, a bunch of mining
picks around that you get as a miner. You see
a place that it creates leather armor. You see
a shoe store. You see then a line of food -based
stalls and where you see a baker. A brewer and
a cook? Then you continue to walk and you get
towards the cloth section where you see both
a tailor that is creating cloth armor and a weaver
that is creating the threads and spools for the
tailor to use. Then you get to the plant section
and you see a large greenhouse with a potter
inside. You pass by a glassblowers studio that's
all open. A bunch of people standing around watching
them create different vials, bottles, drinking
glasses, general objects that can be made of
glass. You pass buckets of gemstones. And you
see a jeweler inside, crafting and cutting jewelers.
to be sold or used. You pass a candle making
studio, then you pass by a tent that has rows
and rows of arrows, and you see a fletcher. You
continue walking and you are very far away from
the other two at this point, starting to loop
back towards where the castle is, and towards
the last few you see a line of wands sticking
out from a bucket, and you see a wand crafter.
You see a ship maker making large parts of a
ship and some small canoes and such. You see
a medic with different bandages and such weaving
different bandages together, enchanting them.
And then you see right next to it, an enchanter
that is taking ordinary objects, imbuing them
with magical energy, and finally a shield maker.
Right. Having assessed everything that is available,
I'm going to either continue or turn back, whichever
way gets me to the bookstore fastest. Okay. It's
probably to continue going back around, to which
you turn, you continue back, you go to a bookstore,
to the bookstore, and you see there's a woman,
Yuan Ti, sitting at a desk writing in a book.
She looks up. She says, are you looking to purchase?
Are you looking to learn? Oh, I don't know. Well,
what can I help you with? I've come to look for...
books um books any specific type yes actually
i do have a section on the occult a section i
know what you're looking for i do not sell those
kinds of things here do you know where i might
procure some there is a library in town it's
got a bit of a restricted section section But
if you're interested in one of my books, I sell
tomes. Tomes? Tomes. Books that help people increase
their skills. Oh. Tell me more. Well, there are
some books and tomes that help people increase
all types of skills. Athletics, animal handling,
stealth. And there are some tomes that help people
increase... Some more powerful things like their
general intelligence. Those kinds of things.
I don't need that. I'm sure you don't. He needs
nothing. He falls on his face. But I help write
these tomes. They take a long time, but they
are worth it. How long does it take? Well, it
depends what you're trying to create. Tomes that
give very... minor magical effects we're talking
very very very minor increases to lesser skills
like animal handling for me at this point after
being a maester scripter would take me a few
days at most but for someone just starting out
could take quite a while i see um Out of curiosity,
for example, the animal handling tome. Yes. What
do those go for? Those? And animal handling,
depending. Let's see, for the most minor of adjustments
in the animal handling skill, it's about 500
gold. You have to spend some time reading it.
Right, of course. You can't buy a book and not
read it. It's not instant. You have to... Exactly.
You want cheap magic that increases your skill
while you're wearing a ring or something? Great,
go buy it. You want something that's permanent?
Books will do that. I quite agree. Perhaps I'll
think about this for a while. Sure thing. Thank
you. And he's just going to go and kind of like
browse around. Yeah, okay. You make your way
up to, you spend the rest of your night hammering
away. You make your way to Agatha. You walk into
a humble stone shop, singular cauldron in the
middle, walls lined with different vials filled
with different liquids, shelves that are packed
with different herbs, and you see a human woman
with long black hair, curly, stirring large cauldron
with a wooden spoon. She looks up and she says,
welcome to Agatha all along. How can I help you,
darling? I was interested in learning a little
bit more about potion crafting. What exactly?
You want to make potions? And maybe even some
notions. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not like
that filthy woman over there. I know exactly
who you're referring to. Library! No, just potions.
Just potions, no motions, lotions, or notions.
Oh, none of those. None. Well, what kind of potions
do you want to make? Are you looking to just
do your basic healing potions, or are you looking
to make something grand one day? Well, I am definitely
willing to learn. I think killing is a great
and versatile place to start, but why end there?
Well, potion making. Potion seller, give me your
potion. Strongest potions. Going into battle.
And she says, well, potion making is a delicate,
delicate thing. You have to be extremely precise.
And so at the initial levels, you will be able
to make just very basic standard potions of healing.
And you'll have to practice that quite a lot
until you can make more and more rare types of
different potions as you go on. Able to imbue
different types of magical effects as you progress.
And she explains the same levels of crafting,
novice, apprentice, journeyman, adept, artisan,
master. And to get started, I'm... I'm not necessarily
taking on new clients, but I could make an exception
for someone as beautiful and busty as you. I
mean, you're asking for it based on what you're
wearing. She giggles and says, I'm just kidding,
but it's five gold to gain the novice title.
And in order to rise to apprentice, 50 hours
spent working on the craft, and you have to make
at least 10 potions. I'm in. Yes? Oh. Maybe one
day you'll even get the title of cauldronier.
All right. So. Five gold? Five gold. And let's
say you spend the rest of the night, we'll say
another four hours, because I think that's what
Estie got. Learning about the basics of creating
a potion. You can mark down four hours on the
craft and four hours towards one potion of healing.
And she shows you the ingredient list of making
healing potions and also shows you some of the
different ingredients. needed to do that that
she explains that some people take a cheap way
through potion of healing and Make them using
casting spells into them But if you want true
potency if you want true good potions of healing
you have to use the right herbs and the right
Different mixtures and she throws a little bit
of dirt into it and the earth because that heals
everything So they get four hours towards one
potion, but that is that is not a complete potion
That's correct. You're learning the basics right
now of general potion making of general alchemy
Vlandris? Yes. Where would you like to go? So
what Vlandris would be interested in, so he doesn't
like studying for a long time. Mm -hmm. Well,
you put him to the wrong place. He thinks his
brain hurt. The only thing that he would be interested
in... His literal entire thing. He chose his
whole path to magic on, keeping easy. In case
he didn't see it before, he would be interested
in finding someone who can train him to use his
weapon better. That is weapon mastery, not crafting.
Okay. Which is fine. It's just that is that is
the only thing that he would really be interested
in spending time on. Okay. So otherwise he's
probably going to wander around looking for magic
rings that he can put on to take a shortcut to
animal handling or anything like that. Uh, and
if that's not available, he's just going to probably
window shop. Yeah. Okay. So you go to the, um,
the enchanters tent, large massive book in the
center. Huge. we're talking the size of a person
book laid in the center of this giant purple
tent arcane sigils floating in the air and you
step in and you see this small little maphawk
raccoon person uh and he's holding a smaller
book and he turns and he says oh hello how can
i help you i'm just curious with what you do
here i enchant things great answer What kind
of things are you looking for? Uh, I don't know.
Just anything, really. Are you looking for enchanted
toys? Are you looking for enchanted puppets?
Are you looking for enchanted books? Enchanted
rings? Enchanted stabs? Enchanted... I can enchant
almost anything. Really? Yeah. What can you enchant
them for? Well, I'm a master enchanter, so there's
a lot of things that I can do. And I can imbue
most items with pretty strong magical abilities.
costs quite a lot of money to buy those, but
I've spent a huge portion of my life learning
the craft, so I can do quite a lot. Why, what
do you want? You look like you want something.
Well, I mean, enchanted items are quite tempting.
Of course. I'm actually curious if, you know,
enchanting is imbuing an item with a quality.
Is there a way to unimbue? Disenchant? Sure.
Yes, absolutely. Typically though disenchanting
will destroy the object itself. Ah, never mind.
Not always. But often. Why? Do you need something
that needs disenchantment? Well, I was actually
wondering if this is something that could be
used to, say, break a curse or... Oh, that is
a very... Curses are in completely different
magical effects. Right. Um... Are you cursed?
Who's asking? Me! You just talked about it in
a really weird way that made it seem like you
were cursed. Well, between you and I. All right,
yes. Say I was. Okay. Well, to break a curse,
I mean, every curse is different. I mean, where
did it come from? Where did it go? Where did
it come from, Kyanide Joe? Where did your curse
come from? Is this a family lineage curse? Is
this a spurned lover curse? Is this a I ate some
really bad food curse? You know, they all have
different, there could be a million different
ways to break it. Right. Depends on who cast
it in the first place. Say I signed a contract.
Oh, well, I think you'd need to read that contract.
I did read it, believe me. Okay, and does it
say how to break it? Well, I don't have the contract
anymore. Okay, well, then maybe you should go
find it. All right. What did you say your name
was? Ralph. Nice to meet you, Ralph. And you?
My name is Val. Val? Well, Val, you seems like
someone who is tempted by... the beautiful oddities
of life and the magical fantasies of our world.
If you ever want to learn how to imbue things,
I would love to teach you. Hmm. Can I enchant
this? And he just summons his glaive like straight
into his hand. There's this like massive like
ten foot pole of, you know. Well, here's the
thing. Enchanters can enchant non -magical objects.
That is magical. Hmm. Alright, he just banishes
it to back to hell. But if you want one of these
and he grabs an identical, like, pole arm, this
thing right here, well, I could imbue this with,
well, quite a lot of things. Really? Extra attack,
attack effect. Extra attack? He like just summons
his glaive again just for kicks and he's like,
would yours be stronger than mine? I don't know.
I don't know. Well, interesting. What about something
like a ring of, you know, a basic... quake? Well,
yeah, what kind of ring would you like? Well,
I'm always looking for ways to be stronger. Stronger?
Stronger than yesterday. How do you consider
strength? Well, it's more if things hit me, I
would like it to hurt less. Ah, a simple ring
of protection. That would give you a plus one
tier AC. That sounds great. Ah, well you want
one of those? Let's see, and he rummages. He
pulls open a drawer that is just full of different
rings. He pulls one out and he says, well, listen,
making you harder to hit is quite a pricey thing.
Normally I would sell this for 500 gold. They're
pretty, they're pretty, pretty thing. They're
a pretty, they're a pretty thing, but. If you
join me, if you learn the craft, start your journey
as an enchanter, I'll knock the price down. I'll
cut it in half. $2 .50. Yeah. Sign another pact.
How can that be? Well, Atrus is just signing
deals and making pacts with everyone. 250 gold
for this ring of protection. Sounds pretty good.
And I'll teach you everything I know. Ralph,
I... would love to say yes. And I can even say
yes, I just can't promise that I'll... not a
very good student. That's okay. I couldn't read
when I started. Now I can't, but I, you know...
I still can't, but I can at least enchant magical
effects. You can teach people how to read, you've
done it before. That can be a good deal. Val,
Val, the things that you could make, I mean,
I've imbued, and he grabs a club. I've imbued
this to create mirror images of myself. Really?
He grabs another thing and he says, I've imbued
this to make myself invisible. Show me. And he
grabs it and he says, oh, as in, yeah, he clicks
a button on the club and three. Mirror images
of him appear on the side. He then grabs the
other thing. The mirror images fall away. He
grabs another weapon. He turns invisible. He
grabs another weapon. He grows twice his size.
He grabs three darts. He throws them into the
sky and they come and fall back around and land
in his hand from behind him. Well, Andrew's really
clapping. He's like a seal. He loves the trick.
I can teach you all of these things and more.
Well, I'll be in town for a while. So go and
then my companions are all off off learning things.
So why not? All right Well, it'll be five gold
to start so that I can equip you with all your
basic items You go. All right and to get to a
higher level You'll need to be able to spend
50 hours working on the craft, as well as enchant
10 items. Now, as a novice, you're going to be
able to make very basic enchantments. The smallest
of minor effects that have about one charge each.
We're not talking damage. We're talking low utility.
Things that maybe give you a little burst of
speed. Very minor. For one charge a day, or even
one charge total. All right. But! It's a place
to start, nonetheless. Is there something you
have in mind? And if not, I'll just show you
the basics tonight. What about something that
could help me run or fly faster? Well, darling,
flying... Let's not even get there. Flying's
a whole... I can already fly. It's just so I
can cover more distance. Okay, that's interesting.
Well, how about we make some boots that will...
a one -use boot that will let you double your
jump speed. All right, why not? All right. Sounds
great. Let's work at it. And you spend four hours
working on, we'll call them, boots of jumping.
With a nogy at the end. And you can mark four
hours working on those and four hours total in
the craft. You all pass the night learning your
individual crafts, beginning your journey as
crafters. And then do you go back to your, uh,
your tavern, take a little nappy nap? Yeah, we
got a little sleepy sleep. Sleepy sleep. Need
a good night's sleep. All right. So you pass
the night, you have a long rest. You take all
your spell slots back, all your hit points. The
day arrives. Do you want to do anything before
you head to the tournament grounds? I'm going
to pray. All right. All right. What do you do
to pray? Get on your knees. No, I'm not Catholic.
That's what Catholic people do, I'm assuming.
No, we don't, we don't do knees stuff. We don't
do knee things. I'm just going to sit on my bed.
I'm going to close my eyes. I'm going to see.
I'll see her. Please help me today and imbue
me with your strength and courage. I will fight
for you and for our people. Amen. Okay. Awesome.
You pray in the morning. Philandros, you do anything
in the morning? Uh, yeah, just, you know, his,
uh, Volandros is going to do his usual, like,
beauty and grooming routine. Uh, you know, practice
a little bit with his glaive. Um, and then he,
like, takes a good, hard look at himself in the
mirror and is, like, uh, just talking to himself
because he's sane. Uh, and he's like, today,
if that demon shows up, you will not make another
deal with her. Do you hear me? Uh, and then he
just like marches off. Like he is determined
that today he's going to be a good boy. Oh, so
Galleus for his morning routine, uh, is going
to have a much probably shorter care routine,
like definitely showers, cleans himself up. Uh,
and then he's going to stand, you know, he's
going to spend like maybe 20 minutes just flipping
through his spell book, preparing his spells
for the day. doing a little study of magical
theory, you know, getting, you know, trying to
get better at spellcasting. And then he's going
to devote about like five or so minutes where
he is also going to stand in front of the mirror.
But instead of like hyping himself up or talking
to himself, he is going to transform and just
turn into Primrose and just like inspect the
quality of his own transformation. He's going
to transform into Rondel. Uh, and just like vibe
that out. And then he's going to transform into
Estee, uh, and just like practice having that
available in case it ever is going to come up.
And then he transforms into Volandris and does
the same and just like make sure that the translation
trans the transformations are accurate. And then
he's going to transform very briefly into, uh,
again, just like adding to the collection, so
to speak. Yeah, very nice. And Bethany too, just
because like, fuck her. Because absolutely he
hatches the plan of later after the contest,
he's going to impersonate Bethany somewhere and
be very embarrassing. Love it. Love it. And then
he transforms back to his baseline human presenting
version of himself as the academic illusionist
wizard and go down for breakfast. Great. Okay,
you all pass some breakfast together. And then
you make your way out of the city to the stages
on the outskirts of Chizukaze. While we walk,
I inform my party members of my brilliant Bethany
plan. So do you plan on just eating a lot of
beans and then turn into Bethany and just fart?
Maybe, I was thinking, like, make a scene, like,
threaten some shopkeepers and be a general asshole,
uh, you know, dragon - Can you fart, like, once
maybe? Of course! Might've mean, I'm not gonna
- I'm not gonna not fart, I just don't want farting
to be the only thing. Right, right. You're civilized.
Yeah, maybe it's a couple of toots, maybe she
throws up, maybe she's visibly violent to the
public. That's a bad name for herself. Maybe
I have her seen walking into the velvet pillow
very publicly. Mmm, spicy. I just think you're
giving this person that is not worth this much
of your time too much of your time. Val, I kinda
wanna crush Bethany. If she's gonna disrespect
us, then she will be seen to disrespect herself.
She will be doing that already today, believe
me. I like the way you think there. She's going
to lose, we all know it. I'm not sure of it.
Let that be her punishment. And the farts. And
the farts. Right? All right, you all are stealing
yourselves. You're wearing your new armor that
you bought. So it's taking you a really long
time to walk. So it's taking you a while to walk.
Clank, clank, clank. It's thankfully the morning
air is calm and cool. When we begin, we can cast
defensive stuff before it begins, correct? That
is what you have been told. Yes. I just want
to know when I'll have that. I want to make clear
that intent so I'm not like, wait, I cast this
an hour ago. I will give you a heads up the same
way that people came and collected you yesterday.
So, you make your way outside the city. You see
the stage is prepared for you to step on and
wait. It elevates above, and you see Signore
Franco Sforza step into the center of the arena,
the crowd cheering. He steps on a disc that then
floats up a hundred feet in the air, and his
voice begins to boom throughout the stadium.
He says, Welcome back, wonderful spectators,
to another beautiful day of the Giostra della
Quintana. Are we ready for the second stage?
The crowd, of course, goes wild as normal. I
hope that our contestants are just as enthused
as you are. Today, we will witness as man and
beast work in harmony alongside one another to
dislodge their opposing rider from their horse
in a true display of strength. Fifty enter today,
and only 25 will leave victorious. I urge you
all place your bets before we begin momentarily.
He floats back down to the stage. You see people
in the carved out areas where people are sitting
on the outside of this mountain. You see people
walking around collecting money from the spectators
as they place bets on who they think is going
to win. Can we place bets? That's my question
too. With what money? You cannot. As contestants,
you are not allowed. Here's how the joust will
work. Here are the rules. Each jouster will wield
a shield, if proficient, with a plus two. And
a lance, which will use strength for attack and
damage rolls, and does a 1d12. On each pass,
each jouster rolls an attack with their lance.
If a jouster is hit, they must make a brace check
with a DC that is equal to the damage taken.
On a failed check, they are unhorsed and lose
the joust. So your AC is normal or whatever you
whatever you give it brace check is con or brace
check is a Strength check strike animal handling
check technically with a DC equal to the damage
that's been taken Okay, the Lance just uses our
attack our strength. Mm -hmm I'm also fucked.
With a whopping plus zero and no proficiency.
I'll give you guys a plus one with magical weapon.
I'll spend all of our, all of my second level
slots to at least give all of us that, so. Initiative,
there is no initiative. Attacks happen simultaneously
and it is possible for two Jowsters to unhorse
each other and knock themselves both out of the...
The rules are that a jousting lance is destroyed
when it hits, new lances are then handed out,
and passes are repeated until one or both participants
are unhorsed. There is a limit, so if passes
happen and lances keep breaking, the first to
break three lances, so the first to score three
hits, wins, if neither has been unhorsed. On
each pass, a jouster can attack normally, or
you can choose a special maneuver. you have aggressive
an aggressive maneuver gives you plus five to
attack but gives you minus five to ac defensive
is the opposite it gives you minus five attack
but plus five to ac you can brace which gives
you minus five to attack but plus five to animal
handling which is your bracing check which is
your brace check if you get hit you can do high
and saddle which is plus five to attack but minus
five to animal handling. So if you get a check,
your brace check is at, is not a disadvantage,
but it gets a minus five and you can do eyes
fixed. And this is a very unique one. This is
plus five to attack. If you are hit, you roll
a D 20 on a one, you lose your left eye. If you
have it on a two, you lose your right eye. If
you have it on a three or four, you're going
to get a very bad scar. And on 5 to 10, you're
going to get a minor scar. So essentially, you're
going to get this bonus. Nothing else is is minused,
but it's high risk. Yeah, I want to keep my eyes
thinking. Is this a permanent eye loss? It's
a roll of D20. 5 to 10 is a minor scar. As 11
plus, you're fine. Yeah. You can also read your
opponent. So if you want, you can try and roll
an insight check that is contested by their check,
their animal handling check. to see, and if you
win the role, then you can see which stance they're
taking. So you can do that prior to beginning.
As you're beginning and as you're going through.
I might go for High Saddle. I mean, not for High
Saddle, for the... Defensive one? Special maneuver
level. What was that one called? Ice Fixed. Ice
Fixed. I mean, it is risky, but... 10 % chance
of losing an eye. Beyond that is a scar. I mean,
when you put it that way, I'll do it twice. It's
just an eye. It's just an eye. I mean, you've
got two. Ten percent of an eye, or some bad scars,
you know? Okay, so if Galleus lost an eye, would
all of his other, his changeling... I assume
so, because I can't transform in ways that are
functional. Like, I can't fly as an Osamon. That
could potentially damage your Disguise. Right,
if you... You could only ever transform into
someone who has an eye. Like that really fucks
up. Primrose always has an iPad. Yeah, everyone's
yeah, everyone's a pirate. Or maybe I can make
it look like they're normal, but they would just
still be. Because you could do minor eye illusion.
Yeah, illusion. I'm debating between like doing
it, playing it safe and cautious versus like
doing eyes fixed on the very first one and saving
my inspiration for if I lose an eye. Just like.
So. Just to mitigate the risk. As you discussed,
the first two contestants take their space. Trumpets
blare as they enter. Stadium is filled. Emilia
Montefeltro sits close to the jousting ring.
Very typical. Think that like first episode of
Game of Thrones where Sansa Stark is sitting
like right as the as the tourney is happening.
I think that's the first episode. Two riders
emerge from opposite ends of the field. No banners
of noble houses fly for them. There's only the
steady clatter of hoofbeats and the tension as
they enter the stadium. The first person is wearing
the standard armor provided by the geostra. Dented,
scratched, but armor still. His horse, a dappled
gray, moves with slow confidence. Opposite him,
a striking contrast. Her armor, mirror black
with a silver inlay, unblenished. Definitely
showing wealth, yet the name unrecognizable to
you. A narrow blue plume trails from her helm
like a little comet. Her mount is smaller, leaner,
a storm -grey coarser. The crowd watches in hushed
curiosity. A woman holds a flag on a very long
pole above the center of the running line. She
lifts the flag and the horses begin galloping
towards one another. The first pass. Both horses
burst forward in near -perfect unison, hooves
carving twin furrows into the tilt. The poorly
armored knight sits low in the saddle, steadied
and braced. His opponent rises ever so slightly,
letting momentum do the work. They collide with
a violent crack. His lance sliding off the Obsidian
Knight's pauldron deflected. Her strike hits
center shield with a brutal thud that knocks
him back, though not off. They reset. Second
passed. Dust rises, wind whips between the barriers.
The obsidian knight leans in with surgical intent,
her lance aimed like a duelist's rapier. The
other knight adjusts, more aggressive this time.
His blow heavy, but wild. The lance's connector
point slams into the side of his helm, turning
his head sharply. His counters, but glances off
her reinforced breastplate. No victor there.
Third pass. They reset. No hesitation. They immediately
start charging. The battered knight roars down
the field and his attempt at a final act. The
Obsidian Knight remains steady into the last
possible instant, and then shifts, recalibrates.
Their lance should strike simultaneously, his
shattering on her shield, wooden splinters flying
everywhere, while hers bends and then snaps with
the force of an impact across his chest. He goes
flying off the back of his horse and then lands
hard on the dirt below. Gasps ripple through
the stands. Very clean fall. The Obsidian Knight
reigns in her horse slightly, raises her fist
in one salute, and then turns from the field
without waiting for applause. A member comes
from their station, walks towards the three of
you. Galleous, someone locks eyes with you, looks
at their clipboard and says, Geo? Yes. All right,
you're up. Oh my god. You are led to the stables.
Turn your weapon magical. You are led far away
to the stables where you are instructed to choose
a horse There's only two of you so you can choose
whichever one you want My one from last time
here? Mm -hmm. You are then asked if you would
like to borrow a lance or if you've brought your
own, but you know, unless you've... I'm borrowing
a lance. They'll shatter on impact. And a shield.
They ask you what you would like between a lance,
a shield, and armor. Yeah, I am wearing the armor
that I have rented, and I am borrowing a lance
and a shield. Okay. You are led to the opposite
side of the field on your horse, clad in what
kind of armor did you pick? A half -plate. Half
-plate armor. You are handed your lance, lance?
You're handed your lance by a worker, handed
a shield, uh, handed a helmet to which you, I
assume, close above your head. And you, uh, a
gate opens in front of you and you walk across,
uh, and you see on the other side of the field,
Bethany. That was your chance for revenge. Is
she chewing gum? Bright pink. armor with feathers
all around the silhouette of her that are bright
pink and white. Her lance bright pink looks like
a candy cane with white and pink swirled around
it and she's just soaking up the uh the audience.
So as we know the rules you're gonna make an
attack first if you get hit you're gonna make
a brace check and then as you're passing you
can try to look at the enemy see if you can tell
what stance they're taking. That's before the
attack right? Correct. And then for when you're
starting the attack, you can, after you make
your wisdom check to see your insight check,
you can then choose which stance you would like
to take. You take your place. A large flag on
a pole is pressed down in front in the center
and then lift it up. Your horse, both yours and
Bethany's horses start dashing towards each other.
Give me a wisdom check to see if you can pick
up on what kind of maneuver Bethany is making.
Nine. Eight. She's aggressive, so she's gonna
have a plus five to attack, but she's gonna have
a minus five to her AC. Okay, I... I'm gonna...
She's gonna have a minus five to her AC. I'm
gonna try to knock the bitch down. I... I'm gonna
go scary. I'm gonna eyes fixed. Oh my god. All
right, so let's both make our attack rolls. So
nervous. And just have to not roll a one, two,
three, or four. You got this. Well, no, with
eyes fixed, if you are hit, you roll a d20. But
you gotta roll to hit first. All right. And you're
getting a plus five to attack and so is she.
Nine. Okay. So she needs to make a brace check,
but you first need to roll a d12 to see how much
damage you do. She rolls a check and the DC is
whatever your damage is. Come on. Come on. 10.
Yes. Nice. 16. Bitch. All right. However, you
get one point. Your Lance connects with her breastplate
and snaps, shatters as wood splinters rain all
over the stadium in the center. You hear an announcement
that Geo has achieved one point. Bethany looks.
pissed. Yes. She looks absolutely pissed. She
rides back to her starting area, throws her lance
on the ground, and demands another one from her
worker. And they bring out another identical
pink and white lance. This is like us with our
advice. You should be docked for that unsportsmanlike
behavior. Little cunt. Little, little bitch.
Little bitch. Are we ready for the second pass?
All right, you line up. The flag on the pole
is down. It lifts up and you dash. Make your
wisdom check, your insight check. Four. Bethany
is rolling like shit. She is pissed. She is still
going aggressive. So she's going to have a plus
five to attack, but a minus five to her AC. All
right, let's both roll an attack. 14. Does not
hit me. All right. 13. Does not hit her. You
both hit each other's shields. Neither of you
hit. So you both raise your shields, deflect
the lances, and reset for a third pass. Let's
go again. She's going to be aggressive. I'm wasting
these on these rolls because I just got a 21.
Yeah, she got a 14. Uh, she is at this point,
uh, she's changed a little bit. And so she's
gone high in the saddle. She has plus five to
attack. So she's aggressive, but she has a minus
five to her animal handling. Last round, she
was aggressive. So 14 after her minus five. Thank
you for reminding me the rules of my own thing,
uh, that I've pulled from the internet. Yes,
you do hit her. Let's go back. Okay. Roll damage.
You roll your one D12. Thank you for that. I
was like, wait a second, I got a 14. And if she
was aggressive, I got to beat a fucking 19 on
this bit. Just shit my pants. Five. Eleven. But.
You have a second hit. So, another announcement
comes that Gio has scored a second hit. You score
one more hit, even if you don't knock her off,
you win the round. Alright, you all reset. She
is fuming. She throws her second one on the ground
and it snaps in half. She demands another one,
a third lance. She slams her helmet back down
and gets ready for the next one. While that's
happening, so Val kind of like leans into Estee
and is like, see what happens when you lose control
of your emotions. See what happens when you're
a fucking little bitch. Little bitch. I hate
Bethany. The flag is placed, raised, and you
both dash. See if you can get up for an insight
check to see what she's... 18. 19. All right,
so. Wild card. It's a wild card. Yeah. And let's
roll a hit. I'm going to go defensive this time.
OK. She got a 15. I got a... 15. Does 15 hit
you? 15 does not hit me. You both miss. You both
hit each other's shields. She did not have a
minus to her AC. Really good too. I rolled a
19. If I wasn't defensive, that would have hit
her. Yeah, yeah, you both do not hit you hit
each other shields and reset the same Lance She
looks so fucking pissed. She looks like she's
gonna do whatever it takes to fucking win this
And the flag raises wisdom check insight check
Nat 20 Yeah, I got a 17. Okay Let's make our
attacks. Which one are you going with? I'm gonna
I'll do ice fixed again. Okay 21 Hit me. Oh my
God. I'm not going to hit her. I got a seven.
All right. I need you to roll a d20. Animal handling,
right? Oh first. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no. Just to see what happens. I am going to use
a point of inspiration. What'd you get? Oh my
God. Oh no! Oh my God. Thank God you have that
inspiration. I'm praying for Elsir right now.
I'm praying for Elsir right now. 11. Okay, that
is just... You get a nab inside your helmet as
it pulls your helmet off Down to the ground and
you have like blood coming from your cheek, but
nothing major. Nothing minor is a scar. You are
you just Just got what you needed. Oh my god,
actually 12 if it's with the animal handling.
Yeah. No, it's not It's just a pure d20. It's
not adding anything She's gonna roll damage.
So two you need to make an animal handling check
and you at least need to get a two Yeah, you're
good, but she gets one point. So now it is two
to one. You line up again for your fifth pass.
The two of you line up. Black raises. Insight
check. Three. Five. Oh my God. She's also going
eyes fixed. Oh, she's going eyes fixed. I'm going
to go. God, I hope she loses an eye, God! I'm
gonna go aggressive this time, because I just
need to hit her. Alright, she's also gonna get
a plus five to attack. Ten. Ten does not hit
me. Even with a minus five. Does a 14 hit? No.
Even with her having a minus five? No, she has
eyes fixed. There's no minus. She has to maybe
lose an eye right now. Yeah. So neither of you
hit? Yeah, if a 14 hit. Alright, you reset. Let's
go for the six pass. Wait. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Insider? 14. Okay. I'm gonna go aggressive again.
Okay. Natural one. Also a natural one? What?
We're making a fucking circus of this. You both
do absolutely, you miss each other with your
lances completely. Both of you are getting frustrated.
This is the seventh pass. Insight check. You
need to be to six. Oh yeah, 18. She's bracing.
Why am I rolling all 18s and 19s on the insides,
but not on the attacks? She's bracing. She's
nervous. She is going to get a minus to her attack,
but if she gets hit, she's going to get a plus
five to help her stay on the horse. I am going
to go aggressive. All right. She got a, um, nine,
but she's not going to hit you. I don't think
I'm going to hit her. Um. Nope. Ice fix. She
didn't get the bone, the negative. No, she went
braced. All right, you line up again. Eighth
pass, score is two to one. Wisdom check, insight
check. And she got a six, but that still is enough.
All right. I'm gonna go aggressive again. Okay,
plus five to attack. 10. All right, she got a
19. She's gonna hit me. Oh my God. What did you
go? Aggressive? Aggressive. A 10 is not gonna
hit her. She's gonna do one point of damage.
You're good. It is two to two. Two to two. She
is looking a little snarkier now. She has two
eyes. She has two eyes. Motherfucker. Two points
each of you. You line up. The crowd is so tense.
Lady Montefeltro is like on the edge of her seats
watching this. You line up for your ninth pass.
Insight check, nat 20. Nat one. Okay, she's inside.
Whatever. She's going to attack. You're going
to attack. I'm going to go ice fix. Nat 20. Natural
one. Oh, yes! Fuck you! She's going to roll a
d20. What? No. What? She loses an eye? She loses
an eye? It's a one. Oh my god. She's going to
lose an eye. I'm going to take this bitch's eye
out. Galleous, you ride forward. You are... This
is taking so long she is she with with getting
two points now think she's caught up to you she
is Absolutely confident. She's gonna win this
thing. She is so confident. She rides with her
visor up. Oh She wants to see you as you as she
defeats you Your horse is galloped closer and
closer and you steer your lance directly towards
her open visor and hit her directly in the left
eye. She gets knocked off her horse to the ground,
blood seeping all the way out of the left of
her face. She stands up holding the left side
of her face and then reveals her hand off of
it and you just see a gaping hole directly in
the side of her left face. Her eye falls out
of its socket onto the ground. People start retching
in the stands. It is disgusting. Lady Malvina.
Oh my god, I am so sorry. That's her queen. Huge,
huge evil person in the last campaign. Lady Montefeltro
like turns her head to the side so that she doesn't
have to see. There's a horrible sight. Medics
immediately come in, rush to the side of Bethany,
grab her and usher her out of the stage and you
stand there. The place is silent. You stand there
with your lance covered in blood. What do you
do? You got a plug and I say in the name of Oskar's
flame treasures And I whip the lance in a little
circle and I spray blood on the floor as I bow.
You also whip blood around the audience. No,
no, not like that. I do like you would in fencing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not out and about, but
blood is good. Give me a performance check. Oh
my god. Yikes. That's three. You spray blood
all over Lady Montefeltro. It goes that far?
Like a hundred feet up? No, she's right next
to the ring. Oh, I didn't know she's right next
to the ring. That won't change my actions. Well,
that's too bad. I announced it at the start that
she was sitting right at the edge of it. She
recoils back and then wipes a little bit off
and gives you a bit of a smirk. You kinky bitch.
You are then led off, off to the side. I can't
believe she rolled a one. I can't believe she
rolled a one. Take a point of inspiration. That
was great. That was, I was rolling. I was like,
there's no way I'm going to get two net ones
in a roll, in a roll, in a row. But that was,
that was, that was great. A few more opponents,
you know. Oh, that's so scary. I am like, I have
an adrenaline rush from these fucking dice rolls
of getting 20s on insight and sixes on attacks.
A few more people come, a few more people joust.
Nothing nearly as heightened as what just happened,
with the exception of one combat that happens
where two people unhorse each other and they're
both out of the competition after some time.
A person walks up to Esther and says, Giovanna,
your turn. All right. On the way, I'm going to
cast Shield of Faith on myself. What does that
do? Plus two. To my armor class. Nice. Okay.
Is it concentration? That one is concentration.
Magical weapon is not. It's not. Okay. So I can
cast it as well. Great. Good luck, Estie. So
an earth genasi comes to collect you. Brings
you to select your horse. Is my little horsey
here? Of course your little horsey is there.
Of course your horsey is there. Great. They ask
you if you would like any armor, a lance, or
a shield. Just a lance for me. Okay. Thank you.
You... seat yourself on your horse. And I'm going
to cast a magical weapon on my lance, obviously.
Yeah, you hear the announcer announce the name
of Giovanna Mozzarell and the posing Fergus Theramund.
You see a large earth genasi man enter on a big
horse. We're talking Clydesdale sized horse.
Massive. This is a father to Meatball. Yeah,
all right, and you both line up and to confirm
damage just a plus one from the magical item
I can't add any of my modifier to attack you
can just not know not to damage Which so it's
what tackle really help because I felt the need
to go Yeah, so You line up the flag is down the
flag raises you both immediately dart towards
each other. Give me a insight check to see Seventeen
is what he got you need to beat that 21 all right.
He is coming defensive He's gonna have a minus
to attack, but he's gonna have a plus five to
his AC. Minus to attack? He has minus five to
his attack, plus five to AC. I guess I'll...
I'll stay with what I got. You can choose one
of the maneuvers, unless you don't want to do
anything. You don't have to. You can attack normally
or you can choose one. Yeah, I'm gonna attack
normally. Okay. All right. Give me an attack
roll. That's a nat 20. Oh, so I shouldn't...
Well, you can still attack. You can still attack.
Come on, Esti. I mean, it's not a nat 20. So
what is it? You might still hit him. You can
hit each other simultaneously. You can still
knock each other down or both get a point. So
it's going to be 23. Oh, yeah, you're absolutely
going to hit. OK. He's going to roll 2d12. Right.
You're going to roll 1d12. Yeah. And then you
have to beat. You each have to beat each other's
total five. OK, you can do that. Oh, great. So
it's going to be 10. 10. All right. So he's so
each of you are going to make an animal handling
check. You need to be to five. He needs to be
to 10. On horse this bitch SD. 22. Eight. Against
a nat 20 where he rolled double damage. This
is what happens. You are nervous. You don't know.
You you've never ridden a horse like this is
this is crazy to you. You don't know what's happening.
And by some good animal handling, just by some
stroke. of luck you just find a way to take your
lance which is normally this big massive thing
you were handed one that was a little bit slimmer
one that you're you're able to uh to use a little
bit easier it's so light it's so airy and uh
this guy uh fergus thuramund uh has chosen to
go a very strong defensive route which means
that he's putting all of his power in defense
and he's not doing too much for off offense you
exploit that he hits you does a ton of damage,
you take the hit, but deliver one that's even
stronger back to him. And you knock him off of
his balance, off the horse on the first pass.
Crowd goes absolutely fucking bonkers. And congratulations
SD on the first pass. You've knocked your opponent
off their horse, and you continue to the final
round. Okay, I mean there's only one thing left
to say, which is thank you Ozcar. from flame
treasures of Oscar for this lovely outfit I'm
wearing today. I blow a kiss. Which was - Oscar
in the audience stands up completely unaware
how strange this is. Just taking in all of the
- Sponsorship messages. The occasional - If we
get to the third round, do we get the outfit
for free? Was that the deal? No, once you make
it past the second, you're good. All right, so
we're good. We got our outfits for free. You
two are. Yeah. You got this. A few more. Every
noble that comes up passes. Every noble that
comes up passes. You see the two from Uhane,
both of the of the Mankuri tribe and of the Manaki
tribe both pass. You see Prince Adonai, Prince
Matthias come. He passes easily, unseats his
opponent on the first pass. And then someone
comes to collect Volandrus. Volandrus, you can
do this. I'm going to send Bigby to give you
a plus one to your weapon as well. Thank you.
Volandrus, you are led to the stables to choose
whichever horse you would like. You can do this.
Take the deal. Volandrus is like, what's that
voice whispering in my head? Like saying, take
the deal. So I'm, you know, I know horses. What
am I, what am I looking at? All the same options
as yesterday and the one, all of the same options
as yesterday. So he goes up to that impressive
steed from yesterday and kind of does like a
double check and he like gets close to his ear
and is like, are you a demon? No response. He
nuzzles you a little bit. He's gonna, like, see
if he can, like, suss out. Like, he's just so
suspicious, and he promised himself this morning
he was not going to engage with the demon who
he has nicknamed Tana at all today. He has swore
to himself, and he is really definitely 100 %
gonna stand by that. A hundred percent out of
a thousand percent. Again, I love the dramatic
tension of Volundris going last because like
it's just like the like, fuck, like I can't do
not as well as my friends. Oh, yeah, that is
his kryptonite. So no sign of demonic energy
in the horse today. No, same as when you saw
it the first time. Maybe in the tip of the fucking
lines or something. He takes he takes a glance
at the other horses to see if any of them look
remotely as superior as this horse. No, he like
kind of sighs and is like all right Today I'm
sure you'll behave All right, you are led to
the opposite side of the stadium you are handed
a lance You are asked if you want a shield if
you want any armor I'm wearing my armor already.
Mm -hmm. I think I do want a shield. Okay You
take your place. You enter into the gate. The
gate beyond opens and out of it gallops Lucia
Borja. The stadium goes wild as Lucia enters
into the stadium. You both take your places.
Trumpets blaring all around you. The flag lays
the rest. and is brought up. You both immediately
start dashing. Give me an insight check to see
if you can read her position. You need to be
to six. I got 18. Okay. She is aggressive. She's
going to get a plus five to attack, but she's
going to have a minus five to her AC. Oh, shoot.
No, no, no. That's for my attack. Got it. She's
going aggressive. Then I'm going aggressive.
Okay. Make your attack roll. That's going to
be... A seven. I got a math, 15. That'll hit.
Knock the bitch down. So I'm rolling a D12 now,
is that right? You are rolling a D12. You have
the plus one for the magic weapon. 11. All right.
That's about as good as it gets. Seven. Jesus
Christ, you guys, on the fast unhorsing. On the
fast unhorsing. Without a demon or nothing. Knock
down this fucking noble ass bitch. So here's
what happens. You line up. You both dash down
the line, your horses galloping towards each
other. You're not able to read what she's doing.
Were you able to? Yeah, you were. You're able
to read what stance she's taking. She's very
aggressive. This is a woman who is used to getting
what she wants and used to being aggressive to
demand everything that she wants in her life.
And she always has gotten it. You know the type.
You match that aggression. You know that you
meet the energy when someone is of that level.
And that's the way that you that you give it
back to them. You match. You are also aggressive.
you come in, you deal a strike directly to her
chest. You dent her armor right in the center.
Knock her immediately off her horse. The crowd
gasps. I mean, it is silent. The crowd gasps.
Even Lady Montefeltro puts a hand to her chest.
And it's silent. And then they erupt. and cheers
for you. They immediately start chanting, VALCANTER!
VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL! VAL!
VAL! Lady Borgia fucking pissed. Even more pissed
than Bethany who lost her eye. She is furious.
She takes off her helmet, throws it to the ground,
and she's like, you cheated! I don't know how,
but it's not possible! storms out of the stadium.
The people are drowning out that conversation
with chanting your name. What would you like
to do? After watching Lady Borgia, you know,
storm off. being a sore loser, Volandros is like,
soaking up all of the love. And of course, you
know, like raises his lance into the air in victory
and says, of course, this victory would not have
been possible without my friend, Oskar, who you've
all heard of by now. Please visit his store.
And he turns to Lady Montefeltro and winks at
her. Oh, beautiful. Give me a performance check
and advantage. Net 20. Amazing. Lady Montefeltro,
you see her blush a little bit and she does like
that little, that little anime like... shy to
the side, and then the crowd begins chanting,
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. And Oscar from the
stands, he like jumps in the air, flaps his wings,
twirls, and then lands on the ground a little
bit and does like a little shower of arcane,
like sparkles above him. You are led out of the
stadium. You have all succeeded to the final
round. jousts pass wood and metal clashing over
and over again, the crowd cheering and jeering,
throwing roses into the center at certain contestants,
Val being one of them. The final joust sets up.
From one side enters Adonai Nahari, the human
man with curly brown hair, simple features, the
one who healed his horse yesterday that you talked
to. He enters a nice little Jewish man. He enters
on a different horse today, a bit larger and
bulkier. Across from him enters Luka Gonzaga,
and the crowd goes wild. Another high society
name about to be eliminated from the competition,
expecting a fierce battle with multiple passes
as the two men in polished armor prepare to face
one another. The flag raises. The first pass.
Luka takes an aggressive stance, moving towards
the front of his seat, pointing his lance like
a dagger at Adonai, who is holding more of a
passive stance, shield forward. In the blink
of an eye, the battle is over as Adonai thrusts
his shield forward towards Luka's stance, knocking
it off path and then throwing his own spear into
the air slightly at the same time, grabbing the
hilt with his palm upwards and jabs it down in
light speed into Luka's chest, throwing him to
the dirt. My goodness! Similar to Val, the crowd
stands speechless for a moment, many of them
having expected Luca to win the entire geostra.
Luca stands, rips off his helmet. That's not
fair! He can't do that! He cheated! And to which
Adonai responds, I'm sorry Luca, but I didn't.
I simply won, and you simply lost. Good play,
mate. Adonite responds in a calm voice before
riding out of the rim, the crowd sparsely clapping
around him as he exits. And then... He should
have promoted Oskar, I think. Everyone would
have lost their minds if he'd done that. Then,
the announcer, Signore Franco Sforza, comes into
view on his floating disc. His voice starts to
boom through the stadium. Well, well, well. That
just goes to show you, you never know what to
expect at the Giostra della Quintana. Didn't
I tell you all that this would be won for the
ages? Yes? Well, with that, Luka Gonzaga is eliminated,
and that concludes the second day of our beautiful
geostra. Out of 50, 21 have made it to the final
round, and tomorrow we will find our victor.
We will see you all tomorrow for the final stage.
Combat! And he floats away. Anything you want
to do with the rest of your day? What's our prize
money for round two? 150 gold each. Okay, that
helps. You are all each given a little brooch
that has a shield in the back with two crossing
lances in the front of it to signify your passage
of the second round. In it, 50 entered and 21
exited, which means that two different jousts
concluded in both people being knocked off their
horses. Anything you do during the the night
or just past the day I would like to get is there
anyone to talk to around combat and What that
entails I know it's gonna be one against one
right? You're not sure You really know much get
some information if possible. Yeah So let's say
you head back to the tavern and you see a contestant,
you know We have no particular notoriety, but
you see someone that's staying in the same tavern
as you a Goliath man tall bulky, greenish skin.
He's eating some food at the tavern at a table.
And you recognize him as part of the tournament.
Okay. I approach and I say, Hey there, brother.
Hi. What a crazy day, huh? I know you did. You
did fantastic. Thank you so much. I mean, it
was wild to see you just, nothing against you,
but I was, if I had bet money, I would have bet
against you, but it was, You surprised us in
a good way. Well, you know, sometimes you get,
you know, some things in life... Surprise you.
Surprise you. I couldn't agree more. Well, yeah,
I just was, you know, I'm new to town, I'm new
to this tournament, just wondering, what do you
know about combat and rules and... What do I
know about combat? You know, tomorrow, the last
match. You trying to get a leg up on me? Oh,
of course not. I don't know much about tomorrow.
Really? Really. You can make an insight check.
Yeah, you're lying, because you're scared of
me. I'm not literally saying it, but you are
though. You are. 17. He seems to be telling truth.
He does not, he does not seem to know. He says,
I don't know, but I'll be ready. That's all I
can tell you. All right. Well, I wish you the
best of luck. I wish the same to you. Great.
Enjoy your night. And if we happen to square
off, then I don't wish you luck. May the best
person wins. All right, I agree. I'll be the
David to your Goliath. Ah, okay. No, David won.
David did win. And I'm a Goliath, literally.
Right, exactly. Okay. That took me a little bit.
It was a polite jab. I'm not much of an up here
guy and he points to his brain. I'm more of a
here guy and he points to his muscles. We don't
have our strengths and our weaknesses, but you
seem like a decent person. So I appreciate you.
All right. Well, good luck tomorrow. Unless you
face me. Right. I'll take that. Yeah. Noted.
All right. Night night. Night night. You guys
do anything else? I want to do a little bit of
light shopping. I don't think I'm going to be
able to afford it, but I want to see if I can
find a shop that sells magic items. What kind
of magic items would you like? I'm interested
in something like a cloak of protection. Okay.
Yesterday, Valandra's purchased a ring of protection.
Both a ring or a cloak would give you a plus
one to your AC and cost 500 gold. Yeah, I'm not
doing that. And then I want to go to just a regular
store that sells fabric. Okay, and I want to
just buy a ribbon just like a single like fabric
ribbon that is hot pink and white striped All
right, it's gonna cost you about 10 copper. Yeah,
I can do that I think is actually secretly evil
10 silver to a goal 10 100 to 100 to 100 100
copper to 1 silver 100 silver to 1 gold 100 gold
to 1 platinum actually no platinum is different
Are you gonna tie it around your face so it covers
your eye? That would be good. I don't know where
I'm gonna tie it, but I know I'm gonna wear it.
You just want it. I am probably gonna just like
accessorize with the pin. I'm gonna tie it like
a little bow. Uh, like a little decorative sash
and pin it on with my made it through round two
pin. Okay. So I can wear it proudly about town.
And we need to return our armors. Yes, you do
need to return your armor. So, uh, you do that
and thankfully - None of us fell or anything.
Yeah, none of you fell. So they're all in pretty
good armor and you, uh, you didn't, I didn't
actually make you pay for your insurance, but
if you had, you'd get it back. Um, but you return
the armor. Anything else you do the rest of the
day? I'll probably spend a little bit of time
copying Misty Step into my spell book. Okay.
How long do you need to spend? Four hours. Yeah,
there's definitely four hours in the day left
if you want to completely do that. So, take a
long rest. Take back any hit points. Not that
you really would have taken much. Any spell slots.
I think Esti's the only one that's got spell
slots to take back. So, you wake up. You grab
some breakfast. You nod to the Goliath man you
spoke to yesterday. You make your way back outside
for the final stage of your journey. As you stand
outside the gates, you hear the voice of Franco
Sforzi. Welcome back, Chigazzians, Uhadesi, and
Neshamites to the final day of our beautiful
Giostra della Quintana. And let us welcome our
final contestants. The gate opens and lets all
21 of you into a large, sandy ring. The gate
closes, as you all step in taking the sight of
the crowd in around you by far the largest audience
of all three days the stadium is packed along
the walls of the city people are sitting on top
of the um what are those called Stands no, no,
no the walls of the city themselves. They're
on the top. What are those things that are? Yeah,
sure on top of the parapets people are crowded.
I don't like the battlements that are like, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly It is just packed
Today my dear friends when when of these 21 contestants
will claim victory and claim the prize, a courtship
dinner with Emiliana Maltefeltro. Emiliana, would
you like to say a few words? She steps forward
down into the stadium very briefly with a light
hop off the stand. She says, yes, may Jan Fenn
guide your steps And I look forward to a lovely
dinner with one of you. And then she hops like
ever so lightly 20 feet in the air above these
stands and back into where she was sitting, right
on the edge of the stadium. Let's hear it for
Emiliana Montefeltro. And again, a warm thank
you to the house of Montefeltro for sponsoring
this year's Giostra. Now, are we ready? the crowd
goes wild then let us delay no longer let us
begin contestants at the sound of the bell you
may begin a few seconds pass All around you chaos
ensues as people stand frozen for a moment. Oh
my god. And then Fiannalla Manaki and the Water
Genasi lashes an attack at a Goliath male in
simple armor, the one that you saw in the tower.
Oh my god. People are fighting at once. As all
21 of you are in the ring together. Oh, so we're
starting. He falls to the ground unconscious.
A bell dings from above the stadium and a voice,
Sangots Fiori, eliminated. Fiannalla Manaki and
Giuseppino Mancorti nod to each other and back
up against one another, holding defensive stance
and circling around. Clever. We're gonna work
together. We'll call it there. Oh, my God. Oh,
shit. I can't believe we're doing like our battle
royale. You are in a battle royale. Oh, my God.
The last person standing is the winner. Oh, we're
going to have to like each other. We aim for
top three. Yes. Yes. Right. We split the prize
money from second and third place. We get you
in first place. Yes. So you can go to your little
fancy, fancy, fancy boy dinner. What's my fancy
boy dinner? Oh, my God.