WEBVTT

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Alright, welcome to Good News York episode 69,

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which is gross because it's my sister's episode.

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My sister is here, but we'll get to that. I am

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Mike Brindisi. This is Good News York, sponsored

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by Ads on the Go. Get ads on the go .com. Shout

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out to Zach, who's in the truck driving around

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with our ugly faces on it. As I said, we have

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two very special guests here today. All joking

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aside, it's very meaningful to have our career

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paths cross each other. We have my sister Brianna

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Brindisi and Natalie Detraglia. Did I say that

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correctly? Detraglia? Well, strike one. I am

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Italian. Strike two. This is gonna be a tough

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interview. They are here from Modern Counseling

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Wellness Co. Brand new, I wanna make sure I word

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this right, brand new What's the word? Practice,

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right? That's your brand new practice. It's a

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group practice. And it's only you two at the

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moment. And an intern. We have a graduate intern

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that just joined us. She'll be starting in August.

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That's cool. That's great. So for those of you

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that listen or watch the show, you know that

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I am a huge advocate for mental health. We've

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had other mental health professionals on the

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show. It's one of those things where personally,

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like, when you... Battle mental health your entire

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life or struggle with it like like I have and

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many others You get to a point where when you

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in least in my case where once you're on the

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mend You make a vow to like you know what at

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least I do Anytime someone is is struggling with

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mental. I like I want if I have any sort of platform

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whether it's this show whether it's a Platform

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where five people pay attention to me I want

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to make it my mission to to spread the word about

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mental health awareness and to help people And

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so many people will come to me and say, man,

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you should have been a therapist. You're really

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good. And I said, you know what? No, I shouldn't

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have. Because my sister did. Because my sister

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is. But also, that's the beauty of therapy, is

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that if you do it right and you do it long enough,

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you take those tools with you for the rest of

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your life and you're able to help other people

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with that. And... That's kind of what I wanted

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to kind of segue into to start it off, which

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is so many people have had this... I mean, it's

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different now with social media, right? I mean,

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we have a lot of transparency with many things.

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But for a long time, it was like, I'm not going

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to a therapy. I don't want to lay on a couch

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and they have a clipboard. You know, there was

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all these false, right? And then, you know, there's

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also the people that think there's like a magic

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bullet, like you're going to go there and then

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they're going to tell you something and then

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you're cured. But what I found is that, yes,

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there is a lot that can be accomplished within

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the actual appointment, the meeting itself. But

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I found that the value comes in the tools that

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you give. And if you practice that outside, that's

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the goal. Am I right? Yeah, 100%. Absolutely.

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It's actually a conversation that I have. Just

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bring that mic a little closer to you. It's not

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you. I just want to make sure. Yeah, that's perfect.

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That's actually a conversation I have, the way

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that I frame it. I actually got this from one

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of my old coworkers. I explained to people who

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have never been to therapy before that it is

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very much, therapy is very much like, if you

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woke up one day and you had a leaky toilet, right?

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You had a leaky toilet, no tools, you lived alone,

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what would you do? You would have to - Ask my

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wife to fix it. No, I'm kidding. You'd have to

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go to Home Depot, right? And you'd get the tools

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that you needed to fix your leaky toilet. And

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somebody would be standing there and go, hi,

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how can I help you today? And you'd go, well,

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I got a leaky toilet. And they'd go, oh, OK,

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well, you're going to need this and this and

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ooh, don't forget this. This is important. Do

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this one. Don't skip that step. It's crucial.

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They'll tell you to mow over it, but don't skip

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it. It's important. When you are fixing your

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toilet, there's a little ring that you need to

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put, and the ring would be that. Perfect. That's

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the one you don't want to forget. Right. So,

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you know, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and

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then you cash out, and you go home, and you take

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the tools, and you fix your leaky toilet. That

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sales associate doesn't go with you. Therapy's

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a lot like that. That's great. We're certainly

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not sales associates, but you come here, you've

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identified a need for being here, and... We provide

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you with the tools and the skills that we have

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as clinicians and you unfortunately the burden

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of Working on those things it falls on you you

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take those tools that you learn in therapy and

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you apply them in real life because it's not

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Every day. In fact, I I find that it's it's very

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few and far between where somebody's actually

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in crisis while in session You're you're coming

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to session to explain what's gone on in the past

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couple weeks or within your life. It's very rare

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that it's happening in that moment. And so you

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learn the tools in therapy, and then you go home.

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And in real life, when these things come about,

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you then use the tools that you learned in therapy.

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And you do the work yourself. Very well said.

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Yeah, and that's kind of where I was going with

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it was... You know, at first I didn't know what

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to expect, but I guess I didn't realize that

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a lot of the work was done within yourself and

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practicing those things. I want to talk about

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your background though. I mean, obviously I know

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your background, but Natalie, kind of we'll start

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with you. Tell me how this all began for you.

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Like what inspired you to go into mental health?

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Because I found more than any other industry.

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I found that a lot of times people who get into

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the mental health field have either been touched

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by mental illness themselves, or maybe a family

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member or friends, and then there's some that

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just, that's what they've always wanted to do.

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How did it start for you? So it's funny, because

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we were talking about this before we came in,

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but one of the things that I think is honed in

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on when you're in graduate school is don't talk

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about the things that you've been through. You

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don't ever want a client to use that against

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you in session. If you tell them you've been

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through X, Y, and Z, they might come back at

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a later point. And while this professor that

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I had that kind of ingrained this in us was fabulous,

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it's the one thing that I've never bought in

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on. Because all of my success so far has been

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due to the fact that people can relate and they're

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not alone. So when I was, I mean, I've struggled

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with anxiety, ADHD, undiagnosed ADHD my entire

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life, where I've just kind of had to learn, I

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think, again, growing up. It wasn't something

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that was looked at as normal or something that

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the average person goes through. But I remember

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being a freshman in college. This is when it

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really like, if I think back, yeah, there's a

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lot of things, but this is kind of really when

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it started. I was going through a breakup as

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a freshman in college. My basketball coach was

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like, you need to go talk to somebody like I

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made you the appointment and I you're going right.

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Like you're not playing. So I went, which is

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in no fault of. maybe the person that was there,

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but it was terrible. Really? It was the worst

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experience ever. In what way? In that I had all

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this stuff that had been bottled up for, how

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old was I, 18 years, and I went in and I felt

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like I talked about everything in 45 minutes

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and nothing was said back to me. Somebody sat,

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and they just kind of looked at me. And then

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the time ran out, and I still had things to say.

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And it was like, OK, we'll pick this up next

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time. And I remember feeling more alone and more

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isolated than when I walked in in the first place.

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And that kind of was what jump -started me going

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into, all right, so I'm going to be a psych major

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from being a psych major. Like, I want to help

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people, right? I want to go into education. I

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don't know if I want to go in. What do I do?

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And it was a bunch of trial and error over the

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course of time. I've been in private practice

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before. I started in private practice. Again,

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not so great experience. You know, and I circled

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back around. I became a high school counselor,

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which I think is one of the reasons we are as

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successful as we are right now, bringing those

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skills into the setting. to be able to relate

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to teens and adolescents, be proactive. Career

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counseling, like we don't just do traditional,

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you know what I mean? We do career counseling.

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We're working on, we've added play therapy. Breanna

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wants to introduce her dog, Charlotte, and get

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her in there and do some animal therapy, things

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like that. I know these are a lot of things that

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people try to talk about, but the modern counseling

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piece, right? Like that name modern. Right now

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everybody wants the modern new vibe whatever

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but the idea is exactly like let's get away from

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the pen and paper the cows I Would love to see

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yeah. Yeah, I would love to see a place where

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we're able to incorporate more walk -and -talk

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situations How do we take the client and like

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let's go walk with Charlotte like let's go walk

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around You know the village of Clinton or whatever

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that looks like But it started with some really

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not great experiences my own personal struggles

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I know I'm not alone. A handful of students,

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a handful of my students being like, please be

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my therapist outside of here. And that generated,

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yeah, don't leave me. That generated this idea

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that while I love what I am doing in the school

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setting, it is, it's very limited. It is, you

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know, and it's constricted to certain things

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that I wanted to branch outside of that, so.

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Good for you. Yeah. And so when did you open

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Modern Counseling and Wellness Co.? So when I

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became a high school counselor at Sequoia Valley

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in, what was it, 2020, I was there for just a

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little over four years. But two years in was

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when I had this epiphany. I'm like the biggest

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Golden Girls fan. Yeah. Love me. Let's go Blanche

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and Dorothy. Yeah. I even watched, I even watched

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the, there was a a spin -off of Golden Girls

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called Empty Nest, where their neighbor had a

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dog named Dreyfus, and they had their own show

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after Golden Girls, and sometimes, which is mind

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-blowing in the 80s and 90s, they would do a

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crossover where, like, the Golden Girls would

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come over. I mean, they do that now with Chicago

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Fire, Chicago Petey. Anyway, we just went on

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a Golden Girls side tangent. That's what I love.

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Anyway, sorry. No, you're good. But no, I was

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stressed to the max. I mean, I couldn't even

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comprehend what was going on. I am in the school.

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It's Christmas time. These kids go crazy at Christmas.

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And I'm like, what do I do? I'm going to make

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a cup of coffee, right? And so people probably

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look at our logo, which is a coffee cup with

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a little leaf in it. What the? You can say fuck.

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Yeah, like what the fuck does a coffee cup have

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to do with mental health? Right husband was like

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you're not coffee shop. Why are you doing this?

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But it I had this Betty white cup that I just

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it was everything to me, right? And I'm like,

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I'm gonna make a cup of coffee and I made this

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cup of coffee I know I know I made this cup of

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coffee at one o 'clock in the afternoon and I

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took the first sip and I was like A feeling.

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But really what it was was this idea of what

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we explain and what we talk about in session

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are these grounding techniques. Like, what's

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your coffee cup thing? What is the thing that's

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going to bring you back to baseline and make

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you feel good? Oh, I love that. You know? And

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so for me, it's not a cup of coffee. It is the

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first sip of a cup of coffee. Yes. Like, mmm,

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liquid good. But anyway, so we're kind of going

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on. But yeah, it brought me to opening my independent

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practice, NP Life and Career Counseling, where

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my kids were like, let me come see you. I can't

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do that. I see you at school. But of course,

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there's going to be tons of other kids in neighboring

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schools where we're at who wanted that help.

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And then that led me to us having a conversation

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and me saying, hey, come help me crush this.

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And we're going to. We're going to open a group

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practice and it's going to be great. Modern counseling

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and wellness company. I love it. Just to side

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note, just to give a little like backstory, Natalie

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and I. That's what I was going to ask you next.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so so go. Natalie and I

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actually met when we were we both worked at the

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House of Good Shepherd. In Utica, New York and

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still to this day. That is probably no offense

00:12:31.059 --> 00:12:35.039
my favorite Shout out shout out how's a good

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shepherd? Family you know who you are That was

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a meaningful Chapter of your life. Oh, it was

00:12:44.580 --> 00:12:48.519
it was stressful crucial time of my hour life

00:12:48.519 --> 00:12:52.580
Yeah, I mean a lot happened I was there for nine

00:12:52.580 --> 00:12:55.179
years, and a lot happened in those nine years,

00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:58.179
not only at that place, but also in our personal

00:12:58.179 --> 00:13:01.980
lives. And that's where we actually met. And

00:13:01.980 --> 00:13:04.659
Natalie and I vibed. I mean, we just, we clicked.

00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:06.460
Like, it was one of those things where you just,

00:13:07.059 --> 00:13:09.220
like, lock eyes. You're dealing with a really

00:13:09.220 --> 00:13:13.080
tough situation. And, you know, there are certain

00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:14.860
people that will handle a situation a certain

00:13:14.860 --> 00:13:16.120
way, and then there's people who will handle

00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:18.159
it a different way. And Natalie and I have always

00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:27.509
been very in sync. Shout out NSYNC. Sorry. ADHD?

00:13:28.269 --> 00:13:34.610
So yeah, we've always been very in tune with

00:13:34.610 --> 00:13:36.710
how we deal with things and how we respond to

00:13:36.710 --> 00:13:39.070
situations and how we are as clinicians. I think

00:13:39.070 --> 00:13:43.330
we're very similar in how we... It definitely

00:13:43.330 --> 00:13:45.769
had nothing to do with her taking a giant loogie

00:13:45.769 --> 00:13:47.450
to the face in the middle of it. Nothing. It

00:13:47.450 --> 00:13:50.549
had nothing to do with it. And I'm holding this.

00:13:50.769 --> 00:13:52.330
I mean, because you were trained for this, right?

00:13:52.509 --> 00:13:54.730
Like, you have students that are, unfortunately,

00:13:54.830 --> 00:13:56.230
they become dangerous. You have to restrain them

00:13:56.230 --> 00:13:58.330
so they're not hurting others. And she's trying

00:13:58.330 --> 00:14:00.590
to do what she's got to do, and she just takes

00:14:00.590 --> 00:14:03.730
one. And I'm like, I looked at her. Oh, no. I

00:14:03.730 --> 00:14:05.909
just looked at her, and I like, my head snapped

00:14:05.909 --> 00:14:10.480
back. Loogie just... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:13.399
she looked at me gagging. And the connection

00:14:13.399 --> 00:14:17.740
happened. So what we've learned is that a loogie

00:14:17.740 --> 00:14:20.500
brought you two together. Yeah. But how did that

00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:23.500
come about where you asked Brianna to be a part?

00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:26.620
When I knew I knew I wanted to go to practice.

00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:30.220
Right. So leaving Sequoia was. Hands down, other

00:14:30.220 --> 00:14:32.080
than leaving is yes, but leaving sequoia was

00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:34.240
very, very difficult for me because when I took

00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:36.039
that job, it was like, here I am. This is what

00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:38.860
I wanted. I'm going to be here for life. So when

00:14:38.860 --> 00:14:40.799
I decided to take the leap for the group practice,

00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:44.940
when you do that, it's one thing to bring on

00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:48.059
clinicians that you can train. and mold and kind

00:14:48.059 --> 00:14:50.879
of help them see your vision, that's great. But

00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.840
you want somebody that you know, for me, I'm

00:14:53.840 --> 00:14:56.120
not, I'm looking for that relationship thing

00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:58.240
that we talked about. Like I need you to sit

00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:00.580
in front of somebody and I need them to go, I

00:15:00.580 --> 00:15:02.259
don't care about even what your, like I know

00:15:02.259 --> 00:15:05.399
we vibe. And I knew that about her. We had, we

00:15:05.399 --> 00:15:07.340
had just, I don't even know, we had just reconnected

00:15:07.340 --> 00:15:09.379
over a random conversation and she was just kind

00:15:09.379 --> 00:15:12.600
of like, hey, if you are ever looking for clinicians

00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:15.019
to come join you, like I would be very interested.

00:15:15.570 --> 00:15:17.490
And as soon as she said that to me, I was like,

00:15:17.549 --> 00:15:20.149
she might just be saying that to be kind. But

00:15:20.149 --> 00:15:22.470
in my mind, I was like, she would fucking crush

00:15:22.470 --> 00:15:25.250
it. Like she would kill this. And I know that

00:15:25.250 --> 00:15:28.049
because I know her personality. I'm not worried

00:15:28.049 --> 00:15:30.789
about, you know, anything else. I'm worried about

00:15:30.789 --> 00:15:32.389
the fact that she's going to connect with these

00:15:32.389 --> 00:15:36.549
people. Yeah. You know, I'm excited. I'm very

00:15:36.549 --> 00:15:38.590
excited for Modern Counseling and Wellness Co.

00:15:38.610 --> 00:15:40.669
And I love that my sister is a part of it, obviously.

00:15:42.570 --> 00:15:46.639
You know, there's so many. You know we were talking

00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:50.759
before in the green room about this whole industry

00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:54.360
and now finding the right therapist is important

00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:57.759
and You know I've said it before it's crucial

00:15:57.759 --> 00:15:59.379
You know and I want people that are listening

00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:01.919
or watching to know that You know the hardest

00:16:01.919 --> 00:16:03.799
part about going to therapy in my opinion is

00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:05.480
the first time it's like going to the gym, right?

00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:09.720
But you finally muster up enough confidence or

00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:12.509
whatever to go And then you go out of face with

00:16:12.509 --> 00:16:14.029
the, oh, well, do I have to pay out of pocket?

00:16:14.169 --> 00:16:15.850
Will insurance accept it? So there's a hurdle.

00:16:16.289 --> 00:16:19.929
And then you get there and sometimes you don't

00:16:19.929 --> 00:16:22.750
vibe. Like you said, I had a same thing. I bounced

00:16:22.750 --> 00:16:25.250
around with therapists where I am there pouring

00:16:25.250 --> 00:16:27.929
my heart out. I am struggling and they're just

00:16:27.929 --> 00:16:30.110
sitting there. And for some people that might

00:16:30.110 --> 00:16:32.509
work, but for me it didn't. So now you have the

00:16:32.509 --> 00:16:34.710
third hurdle. You finally get the courage to

00:16:34.710 --> 00:16:37.639
get up there. You get through the health insurance

00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:39.320
part and now you're not vibing and you're like,

00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:40.940
well, I don't want to go through the process

00:16:40.940 --> 00:16:45.139
of having to find somebody else. But it is so

00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:47.480
crucial because it's not going to help you if

00:16:47.480 --> 00:16:49.200
you are with somebody that you are not vibing

00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:52.919
with. And, you know, what would you say to people

00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:55.120
listening or watching? Let's say you finally

00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.340
go and you're not vibing with your therapist.

00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:00.259
Like, from a therapist's perspective, let us

00:17:00.259 --> 00:17:03.759
know, like, you don't take it personal. And it's

00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.619
crucial, correct? Oh my gosh, no, absolutely

00:17:05.619 --> 00:17:09.779
not. This is exactly the authenticity that we're

00:17:09.779 --> 00:17:11.460
trying to create and why we're putting this out

00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:14.460
there is we want people to know this is who we

00:17:14.460 --> 00:17:16.660
are. Me dropping an F -bomb, me doing whatever.

00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:18.579
You're going to share something exciting with

00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:19.980
me. I'm not just going to be like, oh my gosh,

00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:21.619
that's great. I'm going to flip this goddamn

00:17:21.619 --> 00:17:23.339
table over and we're going to celebrate. We're

00:17:23.339 --> 00:17:26.940
going to hug. Because we are celebrating these

00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:28.339
major progress. And that was the other thing

00:17:28.339 --> 00:17:30.740
about bringing her in is that's what I want.

00:17:31.699 --> 00:17:35.240
something authentic, you know, and I think it's

00:17:35.240 --> 00:17:38.480
not about bringing in so many clients and building

00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.039
this capital. It's about making a difference

00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.319
in the community. And that is exactly why I could

00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:44.140
have stayed right where I was and make it a difference

00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:46.480
with my students. I want to make a difference

00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:48.859
and I want that relationship to just thrive.

00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.400
That is the whole purpose behind this. I mean,

00:17:52.579 --> 00:17:55.700
if you want somebody who's like. gonna make you

00:17:55.700 --> 00:17:57.539
laugh and maybe you're not gonna accomplish things

00:17:57.539 --> 00:17:59.339
because you're gonna laugh all throughout session.

00:18:00.380 --> 00:18:02.599
Brianna, she's here. My sis. If you want somebody

00:18:02.599 --> 00:18:04.799
who's gonna sit here and tell you, what are you

00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:06.539
doing? I'm gonna call you on your shit. You know

00:18:06.539 --> 00:18:08.180
what I mean? You're coming here, you're investing,

00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:10.339
I'm here for you, I'm gonna tell you what's up.

00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:12.619
And some people don't want that, like you said.

00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:16.680
Some people are looking for the old school, traditional,

00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:18.980
how does that make you feel? Let's really hone

00:18:18.980 --> 00:18:21.640
in on the cognitive behavioral practices and

00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:24.740
do it that way. I think we're looking to do something

00:18:24.740 --> 00:18:28.339
a little bit different and just let our personalities

00:18:28.339 --> 00:18:32.079
mesh. I think I do, I try anyway, to do a little

00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:34.019
bit of everything. And I want to preface this

00:18:34.019 --> 00:18:36.720
by saying that, you know, to the people listening

00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:41.180
that if, we know as clinicians that if the vibe

00:18:41.180 --> 00:18:44.740
is not vibing, we don't take it personal. We

00:18:44.740 --> 00:18:46.980
know that it doesn't mean that we're a bad clinician

00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:48.940
and that we are the worst on the planet and we

00:18:48.940 --> 00:18:52.200
should just, we went into the wrong field. It's

00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:54.500
just, we are energy, and if our energies don't

00:18:54.500 --> 00:18:57.259
match, that's okay. We don't take that personal.

00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:00.880
You should be upfront and honest about it, like,

00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:04.619
hey, this doesn't feel vibey, because we feel

00:19:04.619 --> 00:19:09.319
it too, for the record. But also, don't let that

00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:14.970
hold you back from still exploring and... trying

00:19:14.970 --> 00:19:16.869
to find the right one. It's trial and error.

00:19:17.170 --> 00:19:19.910
You know what I mean? It's like finding a friend.

00:19:20.009 --> 00:19:21.789
You gotta connect, right? And you're not gonna

00:19:21.789 --> 00:19:24.109
connect with everybody. But I can't tell you

00:19:24.109 --> 00:19:27.309
how many times I've asked people on that intake

00:19:27.309 --> 00:19:29.529
assessment, have you ever seen a mental health

00:19:29.529 --> 00:19:31.670
professional before? And they'll go, ugh, I went

00:19:31.670 --> 00:19:34.210
one time, it was horrible, and I just never went

00:19:34.210 --> 00:19:39.259
back. Which is fine. But now 20 years have passed

00:19:39.259 --> 00:19:42.180
and you have now more stuff added on to the stuff

00:19:42.180 --> 00:19:45.539
you originally went for and you just never explored

00:19:45.539 --> 00:19:48.559
it again. Like you always, always keep going

00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:50.279
and search for that right one because mental

00:19:50.279 --> 00:19:53.180
health and therapy is so beneficial and important

00:19:53.180 --> 00:19:54.539
for everybody. Everybody should have therapy.

00:19:54.579 --> 00:19:58.319
No, I 100 % agree. I've always said that this

00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:00.019
world would be such a better place if we could.

00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:01.700
I mean, obviously I don't want to make people

00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:06.839
mandatory. to go to therapy, but I mean, it really

00:20:06.839 --> 00:20:11.339
would change so much. And you know, I, go ahead.

00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:12.859
No, I was just gonna say, it's just the way you

00:20:12.859 --> 00:20:14.400
view it. You know what I mean? It's the way you

00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:16.279
view, like when you think, and that's why we

00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:17.940
try to use terms like mental wellness, right?

00:20:17.980 --> 00:20:19.480
Mental health, everybody hears mental health,

00:20:19.500 --> 00:20:20.980
they get scared, they get freaked out, right?

00:20:21.099 --> 00:20:24.220
Like think these - Yeah. clinical terms. Health

00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:27.839
is kind of a... It's scary. Health, doctor, medicine,

00:20:28.140 --> 00:20:29.660
et cetera, right? So like when we say things

00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:31.359
like mental wellness, and this is why we're incorporating

00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:33.660
the wellness piece, we have some big plans, we

00:20:33.660 --> 00:20:35.680
have some big things coming. I won't share too

00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:37.759
much, but incorporating the wellness piece, it's

00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:41.180
like, what do you do with a kid who cannot go

00:20:41.180 --> 00:20:43.160
sit in an office space and talk, but they have

00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:45.359
ADHD? You know what you do? You hand them a set

00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:47.960
of drums, a drumstick. Hell yes. And like you

00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:50.829
teach them those skills that way. So we have

00:20:50.829 --> 00:20:52.150
some wellness stuff coming. It's going to be

00:20:52.150 --> 00:20:54.970
very exciting, but kind of going back to what

00:20:54.970 --> 00:20:56.490
you were saying about making sure you're connecting

00:20:56.490 --> 00:20:58.089
with the right connection. This is the other

00:20:58.089 --> 00:21:00.880
thing. Again, I think that people go into the

00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:02.940
practice idea with this, like, let's build some

00:21:02.940 --> 00:21:04.720
capital, let's boost this, let's be big, whatever.

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:06.700
If you come and it's not the right vibe, we're

00:21:06.700 --> 00:21:08.259
not just sending you off. Like, we're going to

00:21:08.259 --> 00:21:09.799
connect you with another clinician. Like, that's

00:21:09.799 --> 00:21:12.099
part of what we're doing is building relationships

00:21:12.099 --> 00:21:14.579
with other therapists. There is not, like, there's

00:21:14.579 --> 00:21:16.119
a shortage of therapists. You know what I mean?

00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:19.400
There's no competition in getting clients. We're

00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:21.059
going to connect you with someone who does meet

00:21:21.059 --> 00:21:23.200
your vibe. I demand not enough of us to go around.

00:21:23.319 --> 00:21:25.920
No, and that's wonderful. I mean, that just shows

00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:28.299
the kind of... professionals you are, and that's

00:21:28.299 --> 00:21:32.420
the way it should be. One good thing I can say

00:21:32.420 --> 00:21:35.000
about going through the, talking about how daunting

00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.819
the process of finally going to therapy and finding

00:21:37.819 --> 00:21:39.660
the right therapist, it is a little bit easier

00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:41.579
now because I know there's psychology today and

00:21:41.579 --> 00:21:44.980
there's all these websites out there. Do you

00:21:44.980 --> 00:21:47.440
find that the majority of those are reputable

00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:50.460
for those listening? I think that it's just dependent,

00:21:50.859 --> 00:21:53.019
it's again, it's how you're gonna try and sell

00:21:53.019 --> 00:21:56.160
yourself to your client, but it's... This is

00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:59.000
so beneficial, right? Like, they get to see us

00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:03.500
and our real selves here, now, in time. I think

00:22:03.500 --> 00:22:05.680
there is a lot of things that can be... I had

00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:07.940
a great conversation, actually, with another

00:22:07.940 --> 00:22:10.059
guy from home that I did a different podcast

00:22:10.059 --> 00:22:12.819
with, who was just kind of like nip things in

00:22:12.819 --> 00:22:14.599
the butt right away so that they know who you're

00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:16.400
aligning with. And that's something, like, Psychology

00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:18.819
Today, for example, doesn't necessarily do. Do

00:22:18.819 --> 00:22:20.740
you take, like, our specific insurance? There's

00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:22.500
a difference between Excellus, Blue Cross, Blue

00:22:22.500 --> 00:22:25.099
Shield, and Medicaid. Yes, 100%. You know what

00:22:25.099 --> 00:22:26.480
I mean? Not right now. That's just not something

00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:29.140
where we're invested in yet. So alleviating those

00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:33.079
things right up front is helpful. She does not

00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:35.200
have late afternoon availability right now. She

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.440
has a couple slots, like two slots left. But

00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:38.980
that's for something like morning. So how do

00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:40.920
you get rid? That's not something those sites

00:22:40.920 --> 00:22:43.440
and things do. That's a good point. So we try

00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:46.279
to, right now, while we're fine tooth combing

00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:48.960
all of the parts of becoming a new business.

00:22:49.220 --> 00:22:50.599
That's awesome. We're trying to work that out.

00:22:50.619 --> 00:22:53.240
I mean, they are all verified. Correct. Yeah.

00:22:53.599 --> 00:23:00.920
Whatever. Yeah. I got you. The other part, kind

00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:04.019
of the advanced stage of finding your therapist

00:23:04.019 --> 00:23:07.940
these days is now you're seeing terms like EMDR

00:23:07.940 --> 00:23:11.140
therapy and craniosacral therapy. You and I have

00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:14.220
talked about all this stuff. For those listening

00:23:14.220 --> 00:23:17.160
who aren't familiar, and please correct me if

00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:19.279
I'm wrong, when I started going to therapy about

00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:23.970
15 years ago or so, maybe even more, It was mostly

00:23:23.970 --> 00:23:26.869
CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy, which

00:23:26.869 --> 00:23:32.769
is kind of, to sum it up would be, they're gonna

00:23:32.769 --> 00:23:34.450
listen to you, but they're gonna give you techniques

00:23:34.450 --> 00:23:36.849
on how to train your brain to get out of these

00:23:36.849 --> 00:23:39.869
negative thought patterns. And it's very helpful,

00:23:40.250 --> 00:23:43.369
but I found it gets to a point where, well, I

00:23:43.369 --> 00:23:45.910
know, and I have those tools, but I'm still struggling.

00:23:46.430 --> 00:23:49.730
Now you're seeing out there in addition to actual

00:23:49.730 --> 00:23:51.849
DNA testing which we can go down that road in

00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:54.829
a second There is EMDR. Like I just said, there's

00:23:54.829 --> 00:23:58.049
there's all these different techniques first

00:23:58.049 --> 00:24:01.349
I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you think

00:24:01.349 --> 00:24:03.450
of those techniques And then how do you guys

00:24:03.450 --> 00:24:05.970
stay up on that kind of those kind of new trends?

00:24:06.170 --> 00:24:09.289
And do you have to get certified for some or

00:24:09.289 --> 00:24:11.940
all? Great question. So something like EMDR.

00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:15.980
I want to do that. Yeah. But here's an interesting

00:24:15.980 --> 00:24:17.799
tip. And this is actually something I work into

00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:19.380
a lot of my sessions, specifically with people

00:24:19.380 --> 00:24:22.519
who have trauma. The idea of EMDR is you're really

00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:26.079
helping people look to resolve some in -depth

00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:29.200
trauma. And how that's done is by using bilateral

00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:31.960
eye movement. That's the whole point. When you're

00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:34.460
doing something like walking, you are stimulating

00:24:34.460 --> 00:24:37.460
bilateral eye movements. Really? Yes. So doing

00:24:37.460 --> 00:24:38.900
something like a walk and talk session where

00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:41.559
you can take a client and you can walk and you

00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:45.940
want to explore those traumatic incidences or

00:24:45.940 --> 00:24:47.960
talk about things that are really hard to talk

00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:50.099
about sitting still here, like I'm nervous, I'm

00:24:50.099 --> 00:24:53.539
twitching. When you get up and you are stimulating

00:24:53.539 --> 00:24:55.539
both hemispheres of the brain, the logic, the

00:24:55.539 --> 00:24:58.819
emotion, they're coming together. So by incorporating

00:24:58.819 --> 00:25:01.089
walking, you're going to come up probably, you're

00:25:01.089 --> 00:25:02.430
going to feel a little better talking about it.

00:25:02.450 --> 00:25:03.630
You're going to come up with a more rational

00:25:03.630 --> 00:25:07.450
solution. See that, you always hear like if you're

00:25:07.450 --> 00:25:11.529
feeling depressed, like one of the baseline like

00:25:11.529 --> 00:25:13.450
stage one things you can do is go for a walk

00:25:13.450 --> 00:25:15.750
and you used to roll your eyes. Right. But then

00:25:15.750 --> 00:25:17.630
it does help and you're like, oh, it's exercise,

00:25:17.710 --> 00:25:19.349
the endorphins. I didn't know that part of it.

00:25:19.390 --> 00:25:21.710
So that's, you just brought up a great point.

00:25:21.750 --> 00:25:23.849
When I talk to people about this, that's exactly

00:25:23.849 --> 00:25:26.130
it. And again, going back to the school piece.

00:25:26.289 --> 00:25:28.509
So when we, we would do that with students, go

00:25:28.509 --> 00:25:30.859
take a walk. They don't understand why taking

00:25:30.859 --> 00:25:33.200
a walk is so important. Go take a walk, it's

00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:35.420
more. Think about what just happened. How could

00:25:35.420 --> 00:25:37.839
you have done things differently? How can you

00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:39.200
portray yourself differently when you come back

00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:41.579
into the classroom? If they have a task, if they

00:25:41.579 --> 00:25:43.660
have something to think about while they're walking,

00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:45.960
they're stimulating bilateral eye movement, they're

00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:48.339
gonna come up with a more logical solution on

00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:50.660
how to perform or maybe do better. Maybe, not

00:25:50.660 --> 00:25:54.460
always. Right. You know. There's meaning behind

00:25:54.460 --> 00:25:56.519
it that doesn't get talked about enough. That

00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:58.920
was our motto with Charlotte. We had the sign

00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:01.559
that was, stay calm, take Charlotte for a walk

00:26:01.559 --> 00:26:05.779
or something like that. It goes back to the CBT.

00:26:05.859 --> 00:26:09.579
When I first started therapy, I didn't even understand

00:26:09.579 --> 00:26:12.259
the concept of, so I talk to somebody and it's

00:26:12.259 --> 00:26:14.220
going to make me feel better? That's not, but

00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:17.339
it does. Just talking about it. But again, there's

00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:19.779
so many more things. With EMDR, I've seen videos.

00:26:19.799 --> 00:26:22.779
That's where they like... They say you talk about

00:26:22.779 --> 00:26:24.759
the trauma, and then they move their finger in

00:26:24.759 --> 00:26:27.000
certain patterns, and they make them follow with

00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:29.559
their eyes. And I know it sounds like pseudoscience.

00:26:29.740 --> 00:26:32.700
It's not. Is it pseudoscience, or is it science?

00:26:32.839 --> 00:26:36.039
I mean, I don't know. But either way, it works.

00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:40.119
And it's unbelievable. And there are so many

00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:42.079
other things out there, the craniosacral therapy.

00:26:43.720 --> 00:26:46.180
So how do you guys stay up on that stuff? And

00:26:46.180 --> 00:26:47.619
are these things that you need to be certified

00:26:47.619 --> 00:26:51.450
in? EMDR, yes, 100%. Something like EMDR you

00:26:51.450 --> 00:26:53.170
need specific training for, which is, again,

00:26:53.369 --> 00:26:55.730
why being able to offer something like going

00:26:55.730 --> 00:26:58.829
for a walk and explaining why it helps alleviates,

00:26:59.170 --> 00:27:01.470
there's a cost associated with becoming trained

00:27:01.470 --> 00:27:03.789
in all these services. There's a platform that

00:27:03.789 --> 00:27:08.069
we, as clinicians, can use to become certified.

00:27:08.329 --> 00:27:11.009
It's costly, but we can become certified. In

00:27:11.009 --> 00:27:15.269
anything. You basically pick what, it's got a

00:27:15.269 --> 00:27:19.880
whole. hundred pages of different webinars and

00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:23.079
tracer and live trainings And you can choose

00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:25.359
whichever you want and whatever but it but it

00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:28.460
can be very costly Can you is that a weird strategy?

00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:31.740
Could you ever? Build your practice around like

00:27:31.740 --> 00:27:34.160
oh, I want a therapist that does EMDR. I want

00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:36.000
a therapist that does it Can you do it that way

00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:39.279
or is that not? So it's very funny that you say

00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:42.240
that because again, I think that sometimes the

00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:44.819
strategy for private practice is bring people

00:27:44.819 --> 00:27:48.059
in, fill their caseload. I want people to perfect

00:27:48.059 --> 00:27:53.579
a craft, right? I won't touch EMDR. It's just

00:27:53.579 --> 00:27:56.740
not something that I want to work with. She wants

00:27:56.740 --> 00:27:58.819
to potentially explore something like that. The

00:27:58.819 --> 00:28:00.279
graduate intern that's coming on is going to

00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:02.799
have a specialty specifically in play therapy.

00:28:02.839 --> 00:28:04.460
And we've had a conversation about, do you want

00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:06.700
to explore other areas? No. She wants to stay

00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:09.619
in play. And the benefit of that is like, while

00:28:09.619 --> 00:28:12.420
I will always encourage people to branch out

00:28:12.420 --> 00:28:14.819
and do different things, when you perfect a craft,

00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.759
you're going to make a bigger difference, right?

00:28:17.019 --> 00:28:18.859
I am pushing her a little bit. I am encouraging

00:28:18.859 --> 00:28:20.799
her to do some things that she hasn't necessarily

00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:23.339
touched, but she's phenomenal. And she knows

00:28:23.339 --> 00:28:27.259
that. I know that. Right. And so like, I think

00:28:27.259 --> 00:28:29.900
that when you encourage somebody to do something

00:28:29.900 --> 00:28:32.140
that they're really good at, they're going to

00:28:32.140 --> 00:28:35.359
they're going to perform. So I would like to

00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:37.619
see, you know, when we bring people on, for them

00:28:37.619 --> 00:28:39.700
to have an interest specifically in what they're

00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:41.839
working in. I would never ask her to do something

00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:43.359
that she's just not comfortable doing. She's

00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:46.619
not gonna do her best work in that setting. So

00:28:46.619 --> 00:28:50.720
well said. Have you noticed, either of you or

00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:55.180
both of you, because of the rise with social

00:28:55.180 --> 00:28:57.460
media and mental health awareness, and there's

00:28:57.460 --> 00:29:02.480
a lot of it, which is great, do you find more

00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:07.039
men are coming to therapy and getting help. Less

00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:09.279
men, the same. Did you notice any sort of, because

00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:11.759
I'm hoping, I'm feeling like there's a trend

00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:13.700
where men are starting to do that. We've had

00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:15.920
some guests on. We've talked about that. Some

00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:18.700
men that have admitted that, yeah, that's something

00:29:18.700 --> 00:29:20.319
that they've never done and they're starting

00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:24.779
to. Yeah, I mean, I... Because there's a stigma.

00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:28.660
There's 100 % a stigma. 100%. My current caseload,

00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:31.279
I would say I have more women than I do men,

00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:34.740
but I do have some men on my caseload. I would

00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:37.259
say probably my last job, I had a lot more men

00:29:37.259 --> 00:29:41.259
than I have now. And there is a huge stigma,

00:29:41.339 --> 00:29:43.940
and it's wild to me that that's even still a

00:29:43.940 --> 00:29:47.869
thing. Like, it's so... Archaic I know it's archaic.

00:29:47.869 --> 00:29:51.630
I know Okay, you know like we all have a brain

00:29:51.630 --> 00:29:55.210
we all have experiences that we yeah have gone

00:29:55.210 --> 00:29:57.750
through we've all do deal with day -to -day stress

00:29:57.750 --> 00:30:00.609
and and Like it's just like work. Just work through

00:30:00.609 --> 00:30:03.730
your shit I yeah, I use what what who we are

00:30:03.730 --> 00:30:05.750
or what gender you are like just work through

00:30:05.750 --> 00:30:10.750
your shit I used to have a joke in my set a couple

00:30:10.750 --> 00:30:15.069
years ago basically the joke was like It's 2025

00:30:15.069 --> 00:30:17.509
now. Like, if you don't have anxiety and depression,

00:30:17.750 --> 00:30:19.650
like, you need to get that checked out. Like,

00:30:19.829 --> 00:30:22.190
it's weirder if you don't. Yeah, there's definitely

00:30:22.190 --> 00:30:24.069
more of us. Those people. God bless you. I just

00:30:24.069 --> 00:30:26.410
want to choke them. When someone's like, I'm

00:30:26.410 --> 00:30:28.269
so sorry you go through anxiety. Like, I just,

00:30:28.349 --> 00:30:30.970
I never have. And I want to be like, what do

00:30:30.970 --> 00:30:33.390
you mean? How do you do that? I call bullshit.

00:30:33.730 --> 00:30:36.490
Yeah, I call bullshit. Yeah, I mean, it's important.

00:30:36.609 --> 00:30:39.529
I mean, men, it's kind of this extra burden that

00:30:39.529 --> 00:30:42.490
we've had is that, you know, you're weak and...

00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:45.359
But as I said, I see that kind of fading out,

00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:48.380
so I was just, I was curious. And I wanna say,

00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:50.799
for the record, I feel like some of the most,

00:30:50.900 --> 00:30:56.099
we all have really powerful, powerful sessions,

00:30:56.339 --> 00:31:00.279
that aha moment where it clicks. I have aha moment

00:31:00.279 --> 00:31:02.480
written down, so I was gonna ask you if you had

00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:07.140
one. And I've had my most like... like you have

00:31:07.140 --> 00:31:09.980
grown so much. Like this has been, like we feel

00:31:09.980 --> 00:31:11.779
the success too. We know when it's successful.

00:31:11.859 --> 00:31:15.579
We know when you're really investing. And I have

00:31:15.579 --> 00:31:18.740
to say for the record that a lot of, most of

00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:21.839
the men that I've seen have been those sessions

00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:23.920
where I'm like, wow, look at now. Like let's

00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:27.279
work back on what. what life looked like when

00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:29.180
you came here versus life now. Look at all the

00:31:29.180 --> 00:31:31.299
changes that you made, the growth. I have grown

00:31:31.299 --> 00:31:34.819
men that tell me that they do yoga every single

00:31:34.819 --> 00:31:37.339
morning before they, you know, get their day

00:31:37.339 --> 00:31:39.160
started and that was life changing for them.

00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:41.420
You know what I mean? And it is because it works.

00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:46.440
It's science. Yeah. So it's, you know, if you

00:31:46.440 --> 00:31:48.119
and it doesn't matter what gender you are, if

00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:51.720
you invest, you will have success. It will be

00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:56.180
effective. Nothing else. It's at least a place

00:31:56.180 --> 00:32:00.220
to go to get it from here and out into the world

00:32:00.220 --> 00:32:03.359
and and because when we You know, I explained

00:32:03.359 --> 00:32:06.640
emotions like like a beach ball Okay, if you

00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:08.640
had it if I took you into the middle of a lake

00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:11.200
with a with an inflated beach ball and you would

00:32:11.200 --> 00:32:16.319
push me off Yeah, but if I told you to hold that

00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:20.150
beach ball underwater that inflated beach ball,

00:32:20.349 --> 00:32:23.970
you'd only be able to hold it for so long before

00:32:23.970 --> 00:32:26.829
either A, it's gonna pop up and snap you in the

00:32:26.829 --> 00:32:29.130
chin, or you're gonna drown because you can't

00:32:29.130 --> 00:32:31.490
keep yourself afloat and the beach ball down

00:32:31.490 --> 00:32:33.609
when it's fully inflated. Emotions are very much

00:32:33.609 --> 00:32:37.349
like that. If you push your emotions down and

00:32:37.349 --> 00:32:41.970
you suppress everything, it's only sustainable

00:32:41.970 --> 00:32:47.000
for so long before it explodes. So the only successful

00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:51.519
way to do that is to open that cap and to slowly

00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:54.299
deflate the air a little at a time. You won't

00:32:54.299 --> 00:32:56.160
have to work so hard to keep that thing underwater.

00:32:56.259 --> 00:32:57.980
That's what emotions are like. And that's what

00:32:57.980 --> 00:33:00.799
therapy is a place to do that, to deflate that

00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:04.359
air. Mic drop. Don't drop the mic though. That

00:33:04.359 --> 00:33:07.680
no. And, you know, I have a similar one of my

00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:12.839
aha moments early on in therapy was along those

00:33:12.839 --> 00:33:15.759
same lines where my therapist said, Imagine you're

00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:19.819
a barrel and Your emotions are the water and

00:33:19.819 --> 00:33:22.880
you wake up and your barrel is up here It's going

00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:26.539
to take that much water for it to all spill over

00:33:26.539 --> 00:33:29.200
So that's why when you see these fucking psychos

00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:32.000
on social media like having a road rage It's

00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.059
not about the stop sign. It's not about the lane

00:33:35.059 --> 00:33:37.960
change It's because they woke up and their barrel

00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:40.759
was to the brim and that was the thing and that's

00:33:40.759 --> 00:33:43.140
what I try to say When people are like, well,

00:33:43.259 --> 00:33:44.460
therapy is not going to help me. I'm like, you

00:33:44.460 --> 00:33:46.299
don't understand. It is a butterfly effect. It

00:33:46.299 --> 00:33:50.859
is a trickle effect. But within that, there are

00:33:50.859 --> 00:33:53.420
ways. CBT is part of it. Just talking about it

00:33:53.420 --> 00:33:56.519
helps. Maybe you have to heal your inner child.

00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:58.579
I mean, there's so many. I love it. Yeah, I love

00:33:58.579 --> 00:34:00.720
the inner child work. But there's so many. It's

00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:02.640
not just like go to therapy and talk. There are

00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:05.839
so many nuances. Like we said, the inner child

00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:08.400
stuff. There's the childhood trauma. There could

00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:12.420
be attachment issues, anger issues. The only

00:34:12.420 --> 00:34:16.760
way to figure it out is to go. Now, before we

00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:22.039
go, I want a couple more things. There's a movement

00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:26.699
on social media calling let them or something

00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:29.820
like that, where basically it's like you let

00:34:29.820 --> 00:34:36.619
things happen. And I... Okay, okay. So I heard

00:34:36.619 --> 00:34:40.059
about it, and my first... And I could be wrong.

00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:44.280
My first reaction was, OK, I kind of like that

00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:46.480
lazy feel like, yeah, just let it be. But then

00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:49.099
that kind of contradicts the setting boundaries

00:34:49.099 --> 00:34:53.659
and just, I don't know. I don't know how I feel.

00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:56.539
What are your thoughts on this, let them? Do

00:34:56.539 --> 00:34:58.699
you know what I'm talking about? No, absolutely.

00:34:59.820 --> 00:35:02.460
I mean, first of all, right, so the idea of boundaries,

00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:05.449
they're needed everywhere. Definitely incorporate

00:35:05.449 --> 00:35:07.889
them at all points in time I think the idea of

00:35:07.889 --> 00:35:09.449
let them is setting boundaries with yourself

00:35:09.449 --> 00:35:11.369
and understanding like I can't let this affect

00:35:11.369 --> 00:35:17.289
my peace My thing is How is that different than?

00:35:18.050 --> 00:35:22.210
minding your fucking I mean Yeah, that's what

00:35:22.210 --> 00:35:24.610
it sounds like seriousness like focus stay in

00:35:24.610 --> 00:35:26.670
your lane. What are you doing? Like let's let's

00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:28.530
grind Let's be good for ourselves like you're

00:35:28.530 --> 00:35:30.289
doing this for you. You're not doing this for

00:35:30.289 --> 00:35:34.150
anybody else Can you explain what is let them

00:35:34.150 --> 00:35:36.670
I didn't explain it. Well, what is let them explain

00:35:36.670 --> 00:35:39.289
it better than I did it's essentially like, you

00:35:39.289 --> 00:35:43.829
know if if You know you have a group of friends

00:35:43.829 --> 00:35:46.449
that decided to go to dinner and excluded you

00:35:46.449 --> 00:35:49.090
Instead of getting upset about it and internalizing

00:35:49.090 --> 00:35:52.349
that let them right if if you know somebody makes

00:35:52.349 --> 00:35:55.230
you the villain of their story if if if they

00:35:55.530 --> 00:35:59.150
you know, splatter your name all over the walls

00:35:59.150 --> 00:36:01.809
and just let them. Let them think what they want,

00:36:01.909 --> 00:36:03.550
let them feel what they want, let them do what

00:36:03.550 --> 00:36:08.070
they want. Don't allow anybody to have your piece.

00:36:08.510 --> 00:36:11.090
Power over you. Right, don't give them that power.

00:36:11.769 --> 00:36:15.010
Which, for the record, I 100 % agree with. I

00:36:15.010 --> 00:36:19.050
absolutely disagree at all. My reaction is because

00:36:19.050 --> 00:36:21.730
I... It's because when she moved in, the day

00:36:21.730 --> 00:36:23.809
she moved in, she like... put her book up on

00:36:23.809 --> 00:36:25.329
the stand, and I was like, take that fuck off.

00:36:25.969 --> 00:36:32.010
No. No, I'm not worried. Because I see where

00:36:32.010 --> 00:36:34.590
you're coming from, and I agree. But I'm actually

00:36:34.590 --> 00:36:37.010
asking. I'm not pushing back. I'm asking. Because

00:36:37.010 --> 00:36:41.110
one of the things you taught me is you're not

00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:45.110
right. What was it? It's not up to you to care

00:36:45.110 --> 00:36:48.510
what people. Think of other people's opinions

00:36:48.510 --> 00:36:51.329
of you are is none of your fucking business,

00:36:51.329 --> 00:36:53.190
right? It's none of your business. It's none

00:36:53.190 --> 00:36:56.050
of my business What you think of me what he thinks

00:36:56.050 --> 00:36:57.590
of me what she thinks of me. It's none of my

00:36:57.590 --> 00:37:00.530
business I don't want to know because yeah it

00:37:00.530 --> 00:37:03.369
has the power to probably impact me in a negative

00:37:03.369 --> 00:37:07.429
way if your opinion is negative, but like It's

00:37:07.429 --> 00:37:09.449
none of my business because here's the the cold

00:37:09.449 --> 00:37:12.219
hard facts is that it's just an opinion just

00:37:12.219 --> 00:37:13.960
because that's somebody's perception of you,

00:37:14.099 --> 00:37:15.519
just because that's somebody's opinion of you,

00:37:15.559 --> 00:37:19.340
doesn't mean that it's real. We get offended

00:37:19.340 --> 00:37:23.019
and our piece is disrupted when we internalize

00:37:23.019 --> 00:37:25.980
what we think other people think of us. But really,

00:37:25.980 --> 00:37:28.219
that's just a reflection of what you think about

00:37:28.219 --> 00:37:31.219
yourself. And so stop worrying about what other

00:37:31.219 --> 00:37:32.800
people think, because it doesn't matter. That's

00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:34.360
their opinion. They're entitled to their opinion.

00:37:34.659 --> 00:37:37.639
I don't have to be liked 100 % of the time. I

00:37:37.639 --> 00:37:39.840
know that's not possible. I know that's not possible.

00:37:39.980 --> 00:37:43.429
That's not my goal. My goal is to live my life,

00:37:44.230 --> 00:37:47.409
be at peace. I just want peace. Yeah, for sure.

00:37:47.769 --> 00:37:53.170
And so it's just a matter of literally just mine.

00:37:53.590 --> 00:37:55.989
It's none of anybody's. But this framework that's

00:37:55.989 --> 00:37:57.849
existed for how long, like, you know what I mean?

00:37:57.909 --> 00:38:00.090
So I think that's when we chuckle and we laugh.

00:38:00.230 --> 00:38:02.590
It's just kind of like, from a therapist's perspective,

00:38:02.989 --> 00:38:06.469
right? This idea of let them. It's this big selling

00:38:06.469 --> 00:38:08.309
thing right now where people are grabbing onto

00:38:08.309 --> 00:38:11.000
it and we're over here going, We do this every

00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:15.500
day. Yeah. So would that fall under let them?

00:38:16.420 --> 00:38:18.019
You know what I mean? That theory of what you

00:38:18.019 --> 00:38:19.880
were just talking about? That's what that is.

00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:21.780
That's what it is. But it's taking a framework

00:38:21.780 --> 00:38:25.039
that's already existed. And spinning it. That's

00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:26.800
where the rub is. And it's like, you know what

00:38:26.800 --> 00:38:31.300
I mean? Yeah. Well, that's phenomenal. I got

00:38:31.300 --> 00:38:32.500
to get you out of here. I know I've been keeping

00:38:32.500 --> 00:38:35.860
you guys forever. At Modern Counseling and Wellness

00:38:35.860 --> 00:38:38.280
Co., which is in New Hartford, New York, a brand

00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:42.760
new practice. You guys are looking for a new

00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:44.000
clinician, which we'll talk about in a second,

00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:47.099
but I'll put you on the spot a little bit. What

00:38:47.099 --> 00:38:52.860
is it that separates you from others? Because

00:38:52.860 --> 00:38:56.280
everybody has something to give in this industry,

00:38:57.039 --> 00:38:59.599
but what will people get if they come to see

00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:02.119
you and work with you guys? Because this is kind

00:39:02.119 --> 00:39:05.079
of like, you know what, folks? We talk about

00:39:05.079 --> 00:39:07.679
having to go and Google and try to go to psychology

00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.920
today and find out if you vibe. Here's your you

00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:14.079
can see here if you vibe with these two lovely

00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:16.480
women that I'm lucky to have on the show. This

00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:18.780
is the chance to kind of vet that. What what

00:39:18.780 --> 00:39:20.599
are people going to get if they come and work

00:39:20.599 --> 00:39:23.500
with you? Number one thing that we are trying

00:39:23.500 --> 00:39:25.900
to drive is relationship. We talked about this

00:39:25.900 --> 00:39:27.460
at the beginning of the podcast relationship.

00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:29.920
Anybody that wants to come and be a part of this

00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:32.719
team, which we are very excited about. has to

00:39:32.719 --> 00:39:35.380
have the ability to form that relationship, have

00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:38.059
it be unique, have it be fun, and to yourself,

00:39:38.219 --> 00:39:42.300
very authentic, but perspective and peace. Like,

00:39:42.300 --> 00:39:44.159
that's what we're trying to give to people, right?

00:39:44.159 --> 00:39:46.940
Like, a different perspective on this as a whole,

00:39:47.300 --> 00:39:49.059
and ultimately, there's a difference between

00:39:49.059 --> 00:39:51.980
being happy and feeling peace, right? Like, happiness

00:39:51.980 --> 00:39:54.320
is a feeling, and peace is a state of mind. We

00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:56.820
want you to get... Straight wisdom. Yeah. That

00:39:56.820 --> 00:39:59.199
was awesome. Happiness should never be the goal.

00:40:00.289 --> 00:40:02.809
Nobody is... It's unrealistic. It is so unreal

00:40:02.809 --> 00:40:04.030
that you're setting yourself up for failure.

00:40:04.269 --> 00:40:06.670
I've never heard it. I've never heard it that

00:40:06.670 --> 00:40:09.289
way. That's why people, for the record, those

00:40:09.289 --> 00:40:11.710
of you who don't have anxiety, and someone's

00:40:11.710 --> 00:40:14.289
going through anxiety, I was in a band for a

00:40:14.289 --> 00:40:15.929
long time, and we were on the road once, and

00:40:15.929 --> 00:40:18.849
my bass player and I suffered from anxiety, depression,

00:40:18.969 --> 00:40:21.250
everything else. And we would have these moments,

00:40:22.489 --> 00:40:25.510
and our guitar player, nicest guy in the world,

00:40:25.610 --> 00:40:26.989
didn't mean any harm, he just didn't understand,

00:40:27.050 --> 00:40:29.929
and he'd go... I don't know guys, just stop worrying.

00:40:29.989 --> 00:40:32.250
And we were like, I'll fucking kill you. That's

00:40:32.250 --> 00:40:34.530
all we want is to stop worrying. All we want

00:40:34.530 --> 00:40:36.630
is peace. But I've never heard it framed that

00:40:36.630 --> 00:40:38.070
way. You're right. I always talk about, I just

00:40:38.070 --> 00:40:40.969
want to be happy. I just want to feel peace.

00:40:42.110 --> 00:40:44.829
The goal should be to find peace, but to be able

00:40:44.829 --> 00:40:47.969
to experience the happy moments. And also, for

00:40:47.969 --> 00:40:50.789
the record, you're never going to not feel the

00:40:50.789 --> 00:40:54.989
emotion, anger, or sadness when a situation happens

00:40:54.989 --> 00:40:58.969
that would produce that outcome for you, you

00:40:58.969 --> 00:41:01.929
know what I mean? Like, you're gonna feel angry,

00:41:02.070 --> 00:41:03.909
you're gonna feel sad at times when difficult

00:41:03.909 --> 00:41:06.670
things happen. The goal should be to find peace,

00:41:06.730 --> 00:41:08.449
to be able to experience the happy moments, but

00:41:08.449 --> 00:41:12.489
also, I would go on to say embrace the hardships,

00:41:12.710 --> 00:41:15.090
embrace the bad, because that's an opportunity

00:41:15.090 --> 00:41:20.449
for growth. You can't grow, you know, if there's

00:41:20.449 --> 00:41:23.530
no challenge, right, if you're not faced with

00:41:23.530 --> 00:41:25.929
a challenge, you're gonna stay stagnant, you're

00:41:25.929 --> 00:41:28.760
gonna have no room to grow. That boxes you in,

00:41:28.820 --> 00:41:31.599
that keeps you in one place. I don't know about

00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:34.219
you, but I don't want to be in one place for

00:41:34.219 --> 00:41:36.039
the rest of my life. I want to grow every day.

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:37.860
I'm a different person today than I was yesterday.

00:41:37.860 --> 00:41:41.579
Yes. And so on. You know what I mean? And those

00:41:41.579 --> 00:41:46.380
moments of hardship and heartache and financial

00:41:46.380 --> 00:41:50.960
ruin, that is an opportunity. That's the universe

00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:53.900
going, hey. You need some movement here. Get

00:41:53.900 --> 00:41:56.500
out of this. Yes, and I'm so glad you said that

00:41:56.500 --> 00:42:01.139
because before therapy, I used to come home to

00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:04.019
visit and, you know, back in the day you go out,

00:42:04.039 --> 00:42:05.659
like maybe night before Thanksgiving, right?

00:42:05.780 --> 00:42:07.900
And you go out and you see all your friends from

00:42:07.900 --> 00:42:10.460
high school and they say, dude, Mikey, you haven't

00:42:10.460 --> 00:42:12.579
changed a bit. And I was like, fuck yeah, I haven't

00:42:12.579 --> 00:42:16.260
changed a bit. Now I look at it different. I'm

00:42:16.260 --> 00:42:20.400
like, I haven't forgotten anybody. I'm that same

00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:23.710
person. But I am a completely different person

00:42:23.710 --> 00:42:28.710
than I was then. So my advice, and I'm not clinical

00:42:28.710 --> 00:42:32.150
or whatever, I'm not official, but I would say

00:42:32.150 --> 00:42:34.150
embrace it that you are not the same person.

00:42:34.409 --> 00:42:37.150
If you are the same person, and again, I don't

00:42:37.150 --> 00:42:40.190
mean like you're not funny anymore or you're

00:42:40.190 --> 00:42:42.130
not nice anymore, I'm talking about like if you

00:42:42.130 --> 00:42:44.690
are just still the same person with the same

00:42:44.690 --> 00:42:48.260
patterns, then that's a negative thing. I want

00:42:48.260 --> 00:42:50.440
to grow every single day and be a better husband,

00:42:50.659 --> 00:42:54.599
father, brother, person. And it's so important.

00:42:54.659 --> 00:42:56.179
And you guys are the ones that are facilitating

00:42:56.179 --> 00:42:59.960
that and allowing that. One last thing, and then

00:42:59.960 --> 00:43:02.760
we'll do the plugs. I thought of this as you

00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:05.420
guys were talking. I don't know if this is a

00:43:05.420 --> 00:43:08.239
good idea or not. You guys are the professionals.

00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:12.199
In my experience, though, I have some medication

00:43:12.199 --> 00:43:16.360
that I'm on. Nothing crazy. But I started working

00:43:16.360 --> 00:43:20.460
with an ADHD specialist who is working with side

00:43:20.460 --> 00:43:23.480
-by -side with a doctor at Cornell and They are

00:43:23.480 --> 00:43:26.699
doing cutting -edge testing where I've done DNA

00:43:26.699 --> 00:43:30.780
testing hair testing urine stomach and One of

00:43:30.780 --> 00:43:33.559
the tests not only told me what kind of mental

00:43:33.559 --> 00:43:36.849
health meds work for me but what ones don't and

00:43:36.849 --> 00:43:39.210
what ones won't hurt me, but you're just not

00:43:39.210 --> 00:43:41.489
gonna get the benefits. And I'm not even saying

00:43:41.489 --> 00:43:44.230
like an SSRI. I'm saying they're like Zoloft

00:43:44.230 --> 00:43:47.030
Good, like by brand name. So there are a lot

00:43:47.030 --> 00:43:52.809
of tests out there. So part one of that is, what

00:43:52.809 --> 00:43:55.130
do you guys think about all the new testing and

00:43:55.130 --> 00:43:56.929
stuff like that? Have you had experience with

00:43:56.929 --> 00:44:00.150
it? And part B is, I've always said, I don't

00:44:00.150 --> 00:44:03.369
think primary doctors should be able to prescribe

00:44:03.369 --> 00:44:06.900
medicine. Because in my experience when I went

00:44:06.900 --> 00:44:08.860
to a primary doctor the first time and said I

00:44:08.860 --> 00:44:11.920
need help They genuinely he was on his laptop.

00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:13.659
I'm over here. He's not even looking at me and

00:44:13.659 --> 00:44:18.420
he goes uh I wrote you want Prozac or you think

00:44:18.420 --> 00:44:22.500
you want? Lexapro and I remember my jaw because

00:44:22.500 --> 00:44:25.280
he couldn't see me. I was just like he's asking

00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:28.679
me what I don't fucking know and You guys both

00:44:28.679 --> 00:44:31.340
know that the side effects that can happen if

00:44:31.340 --> 00:44:33.760
it's the wrong one What are your thoughts on

00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:35.480
on both of those when I was at the house of Good

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:38.039
Shepherd? I remember there was a couple month

00:44:38.039 --> 00:44:41.739
period where I was like I can lift up right here

00:44:41.739 --> 00:44:45.239
on my hair pull like my scalp and like feel just

00:44:45.239 --> 00:44:49.440
That's not right something's wrong there's going

00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:52.940
on And so I go I go to my primary or whoever

00:44:52.940 --> 00:44:55.480
it was at the time and I had explained this I

00:44:55.480 --> 00:44:57.460
was like, I really am feeling this pressure my

00:44:57.460 --> 00:44:59.320
head and He did a couple of things, asked me

00:44:59.320 --> 00:45:00.739
a couple of questions, and he was like, you're

00:45:00.739 --> 00:45:02.800
experiencing tension headaches. Like, you know,

00:45:03.840 --> 00:45:06.599
I'm going to prescribe you a blah, blah, blah.

00:45:06.739 --> 00:45:10.320
It's an antidepressant. Had I not, why do I need

00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:13.440
that? I'm going to go to Rite Aid and get a fucking

00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:15.739
box of Excedrin tension headache medicine and

00:45:15.739 --> 00:45:18.019
relieve the issue. I don't need an antidepressant.

00:45:18.380 --> 00:45:20.460
And like, had I not been in the field that I

00:45:20.460 --> 00:45:21.880
was in, I probably would have picked that up.

00:45:22.179 --> 00:45:24.139
I probably would have started taking an antidepressant

00:45:24.139 --> 00:45:26.380
that I didn't need. Who knows if I don't have

00:45:26.380 --> 00:45:28.679
an addiction problem or something of that nature,

00:45:28.820 --> 00:45:30.420
where that's going to lead to X, Y, and Z. And

00:45:30.420 --> 00:45:32.059
that's obviously something we experience. So

00:45:32.059 --> 00:45:34.659
it's like, should a primary care physician be

00:45:34.659 --> 00:45:38.000
able to prescribe? I won't speak to that because

00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:40.239
I'm not a primary care physician, but I can say

00:45:40.239 --> 00:45:43.639
that. there needs to be a more in -depth process

00:45:43.639 --> 00:45:46.159
for receiving the medication. That's what I meant.

00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:50.400
If anyone and I doubt doctors listen to this

00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:52.460
show, but if you do, I'm not shitting on primary

00:45:52.460 --> 00:45:54.739
doctors. I was just going to say. I don't think

00:45:54.739 --> 00:45:58.800
it's that. Primary doctors are obviously absolutely

00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:02.000
capable of prescribing meds. But the way I explain

00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:04.539
it, when I have a client that comes to me and

00:46:04.539 --> 00:46:07.730
asks me about... my take on medication, and what

00:46:07.730 --> 00:46:09.829
should I take? Or I immediately say, well, first

00:46:09.829 --> 00:46:12.989
of all, I don't prescribe. But secondly, if you

00:46:12.989 --> 00:46:16.250
are interested in the idea of medication management,

00:46:16.650 --> 00:46:19.730
I would strongly encourage you to see a psychiatrist.

00:46:19.730 --> 00:46:22.190
That's right. The way I explain that is that

00:46:22.190 --> 00:46:29.849
if you walked out of your front step and broke

00:46:29.849 --> 00:46:31.969
your ankle, you missed a step and broke your

00:46:31.969 --> 00:46:34.250
ankle, what would you do? you'd go to the hospital

00:46:34.250 --> 00:46:36.510
and you'd see a doctor who'd get you an x -ray.

00:46:36.710 --> 00:46:39.210
He'd read the x -ray and he'd go, you broke your

00:46:39.210 --> 00:46:42.789
ankle. And then he would probably give you some

00:46:42.789 --> 00:46:46.530
pain medicine, rapid, some ice, and he would

00:46:46.530 --> 00:46:49.289
discharge you and say, OK, I made you an appointment.

00:46:49.429 --> 00:46:52.849
He'd refer you to an orthopedic doctor because

00:46:52.849 --> 00:46:56.309
that's their scope. Doctors have a very general,

00:46:56.909 --> 00:46:59.429
they can deal with all areas. Correct. They can

00:46:59.429 --> 00:47:02.630
address all areas. Excuse me. But there are certain

00:47:02.630 --> 00:47:05.989
specialties. Psychiatry is a specialty. Their

00:47:05.989 --> 00:47:08.769
scope is the brain. Their scope is mental health,

00:47:09.050 --> 00:47:13.809
the side effects, the genetics, the medication

00:47:13.809 --> 00:47:16.969
piece of it. So if you're ever considering medication,

00:47:17.230 --> 00:47:19.210
again, primary doctors are fully capable. It's

00:47:19.210 --> 00:47:21.510
obviously a more accessible, easy way to get

00:47:21.510 --> 00:47:25.250
in, get it quick. But psychiatry is their scope.

00:47:25.289 --> 00:47:29.130
And there should be a more extensive. process

00:47:29.130 --> 00:47:31.309
because of what you're describing. That's exactly

00:47:31.309 --> 00:47:34.170
where I was. Yeah, you know, but so something

00:47:34.170 --> 00:47:35.989
we do like when someone says that to us, you

00:47:35.989 --> 00:47:37.909
know, we have we make sure we have the conversation

00:47:37.909 --> 00:47:41.389
with them that if if somebody needs some additional

00:47:41.389 --> 00:47:43.130
information from us, we'd be more than happy

00:47:43.130 --> 00:47:44.789
to, you know, write something up or whatever.

00:47:44.929 --> 00:47:47.590
But to just give a different perspective of what

00:47:47.590 --> 00:47:49.449
they've been going through, what could potentially

00:47:49.449 --> 00:47:51.210
benefit them, what is their past experience?

00:47:51.369 --> 00:47:54.469
I mean, it yeah, it just needs to be more in

00:47:54.469 --> 00:47:57.769
depth, I think. Yeah. And you you guys basically

00:47:57.769 --> 00:48:00.170
worded it Way better than I did. And that's what

00:48:00.170 --> 00:48:02.909
I meant, which is, do I think primary doctors

00:48:02.909 --> 00:48:05.570
should be stripped of? No. I love my primary

00:48:05.570 --> 00:48:08.829
doctor. Shout out at Guthrie. Dr. Melissa O 'Banion,

00:48:08.969 --> 00:48:11.869
I love you. She's amazing. So in depth. And by

00:48:11.869 --> 00:48:13.869
the way, same thing, you should vibe with your

00:48:13.869 --> 00:48:16.269
primary doctor. That's another thing. But my

00:48:16.269 --> 00:48:19.409
point was, and I probably would trust my primary

00:48:19.409 --> 00:48:21.909
with mental health because I know the way. Well,

00:48:22.010 --> 00:48:23.369
and that's the thing, relationship. That's right.

00:48:23.369 --> 00:48:24.309
That's what you're talking about. That's right.

00:48:24.670 --> 00:48:27.090
If you don't have a relationship. Right. That's

00:48:27.090 --> 00:48:28.510
important. But I just. Relationship with your

00:48:28.510 --> 00:48:31.449
doctor. But I just mean for those that are just

00:48:31.449 --> 00:48:34.889
kind of going in blind, don't, you know, depending

00:48:34.889 --> 00:48:37.190
on your relationship with your doctor, you know,

00:48:37.230 --> 00:48:39.289
you make that choice. But I always think. that

00:48:39.289 --> 00:48:41.309
it should become common practice for, as you

00:48:41.309 --> 00:48:43.809
said, to include a mental... Like, you know what?

00:48:43.869 --> 00:48:45.769
I'm going to refer you to a mental health specialist

00:48:45.769 --> 00:48:48.610
to prescribe that for you. I think the word psychiatrist

00:48:48.610 --> 00:48:50.730
is scary to people. It is. It goes back to, like,

00:48:50.949 --> 00:48:53.190
why you use wellness. People immediately go,

00:48:53.190 --> 00:48:55.949
psychiatrist. That means I'm crazy. Or they're

00:48:55.949 --> 00:48:58.849
going to lock me up in a padded room and... No,

00:48:59.449 --> 00:49:01.710
it's a 15 -minute appointment. They ask what

00:49:01.710 --> 00:49:05.130
your symptoms are and... Especially... Background

00:49:05.130 --> 00:49:07.530
information and decide which one is best for

00:49:07.530 --> 00:49:11.369
you and especially for someone like me Hypochondriac

00:49:11.369 --> 00:49:14.150
any of those white coat terms are very triggered.

00:49:14.449 --> 00:49:20.869
All right before we go This I wanted to do this

00:49:20.869 --> 00:49:28.329
Briana So my sister Likes to scare me she always

00:49:28.329 --> 00:49:32.289
has and You know here we are talking about why

00:49:32.289 --> 00:49:36.059
I have fucking anxiety I'm like a skittish, I'm

00:49:36.059 --> 00:49:38.639
a skittish chihuahua. Now everybody here around

00:49:38.639 --> 00:49:40.519
the office knows, like, they'll just come in

00:49:40.519 --> 00:49:41.960
and be like, hey, Mike, can you copy? And I'm

00:49:41.960 --> 00:49:45.059
like. And they're like, I just need you to fucking

00:49:45.059 --> 00:49:48.719
copy this. But anyway, my sister likes to scare

00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:54.500
me. So with the rise of social media, she got

00:49:54.500 --> 00:49:57.719
a tick tock. I just had a stroke. She got a tick

00:49:57.719 --> 00:50:01.179
tock account and about five. I do. Five years

00:50:01.179 --> 00:50:04.449
ago, she. Anytime she comes to the house or I

00:50:04.449 --> 00:50:07.110
go to the house for family holiday gatherings,

00:50:07.170 --> 00:50:08.929
she scares the shit out of me and records it.

00:50:09.050 --> 00:50:10.949
And she does it all weekend long or however long

00:50:10.949 --> 00:50:13.730
I'm there. She created these compilations and

00:50:13.730 --> 00:50:16.690
put them on social media. And I bust my ass on

00:50:16.690 --> 00:50:20.349
this show every day. I've played all over the

00:50:20.349 --> 00:50:23.630
country in a band. I am probably most famous

00:50:23.630 --> 00:50:26.610
for being scared on social media. And you're,

00:50:26.849 --> 00:50:29.789
I think one of the compilations got like 500

00:50:29.789 --> 00:50:34.440
,000 views. Million I I went viral twice. We've

00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:36.400
been trying to go viral for I don't know how

00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:39.639
long So I wanted to pull up I'm gonna let Danny

00:50:39.639 --> 00:50:42.340
choose how many or which one but I wanted us

00:50:42.340 --> 00:50:46.199
to watch One of these compilations so you guys

00:50:46.199 --> 00:50:52.760
can all see Why I need mental health help and

00:50:52.760 --> 00:50:56.980
It's exposure. That's exactly what it is. I didn't

00:50:56.980 --> 00:51:01.070
realize it I say the f -word a lot when I get

00:51:01.070 --> 00:51:06.670
scared when I get scared I swear and You might

00:51:06.670 --> 00:51:09.889
have to change the input on the on the iPad I

00:51:09.889 --> 00:51:11.329
had to do that the other day. I don't know why

00:51:11.329 --> 00:51:14.670
the fuck it Does that but yeah, I mean you could

00:51:14.670 --> 00:51:17.289
even without the sound. Oh this one. I had a

00:51:17.289 --> 00:51:25.389
giant bottle of vodka But uh and the even funnier

00:51:25.389 --> 00:51:33.139
part is Earlier when I went to Oh my favorite

00:51:33.139 --> 00:51:38.900
one I was a skinhead apparently Right there I

00:51:38.900 --> 00:51:55.760
was peeing I actually Go to another one day.

00:51:55.760 --> 00:51:58.599
We didn't get the full. Oh Wow, I didn't get

00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:03.599
the full. How do you do and I scream? Which that's

00:52:03.599 --> 00:52:05.900
the other thing that's why I do it because here's

00:52:05.900 --> 00:52:08.960
the thing that that is Mind -blowing to me is

00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:13.440
that you would think that over time You just

00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:19.139
almost expect no no That scream is why I do it

00:52:19.139 --> 00:52:22.469
because I cannot understand how That sound comes

00:52:22.469 --> 00:52:24.550
out of a grown man. Yeah, well and that's also

00:52:24.550 --> 00:52:26.750
in what sucks about getting scared other than

00:52:26.750 --> 00:52:29.170
getting scared is I'm like That's what I fucking

00:52:29.170 --> 00:52:31.949
like if I was in public and a crisis went on

00:52:31.949 --> 00:52:35.449
and I'm with my kids if I'm with my children

00:52:35.449 --> 00:52:37.690
No, dad's good. You know, we're on maybe we're

00:52:37.690 --> 00:52:39.710
going to a Yankee game We're getting on the subway

00:52:39.710 --> 00:52:42.630
and some guy pulls out a gun. I'm gonna go And

00:52:42.630 --> 00:52:45.429
my kids are gonna go dad. Yeah, you're what?

00:52:46.289 --> 00:52:51.349
I will I will well anyway Natalie How do I say

00:52:51.349 --> 00:52:54.670
the last? Detralia. Detralia. Rihanna Brindisi,

00:52:54.809 --> 00:52:57.829
my sister. Modern Counseling and Wellness Company

00:52:57.829 --> 00:53:01.170
in New Hartford, New York, www .moderncounselingco

00:53:01.170 --> 00:53:05.570
.com. Tell us what you're looking for, other

00:53:05.570 --> 00:53:07.190
than, obviously, if you're looking for mental

00:53:07.190 --> 00:53:13.280
health help, please go to them. On your side

00:53:13.280 --> 00:53:16.420
of things, are you looking for more? Always.

00:53:16.579 --> 00:53:18.699
Yeah, we always we always want to continue to

00:53:18.699 --> 00:53:21.059
help serve the community. But I think commitment

00:53:21.059 --> 00:53:22.900
is the number one thing. Like people have to

00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:25.099
know, you know, if you're not there, that's OK.

00:53:25.300 --> 00:53:26.980
That's OK. And we'll also tell you that, you

00:53:26.980 --> 00:53:28.199
know, we'll also tell you if we feel like you're

00:53:28.199 --> 00:53:30.159
not there yet. But the commitment to this process,

00:53:30.679 --> 00:53:32.679
it is long term, regardless of what people tell

00:53:32.679 --> 00:53:34.460
you. You're not going to come in. This is not

00:53:34.460 --> 00:53:36.780
about us fixing you. We don't fix you. We give

00:53:36.780 --> 00:53:38.920
you the tools. And if you're committed to using

00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:41.619
those tools outside and you're committed to yourself.

00:53:41.679 --> 00:53:44.159
you are going to see, whether it's small or whether

00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:45.739
it's large, you're going to see bouts of progress.

00:53:46.059 --> 00:53:48.360
And are you guys looking for other therapists

00:53:48.360 --> 00:53:51.079
to join your practice? Yeah, definitely. I think

00:53:51.079 --> 00:53:55.340
we have some big expansion plans coming. Right

00:53:55.340 --> 00:53:57.440
now, we're kind of just doing it little by little.

00:53:57.519 --> 00:53:58.840
We don't want to bite off more than we can chew.

00:53:59.360 --> 00:54:02.519
But yeah, there will be an official, I think,

00:54:02.960 --> 00:54:05.340
LinkedIn posting. Again, we don't want any...

00:54:05.050 --> 00:54:07.369
Informal applications coming through we want

00:54:07.369 --> 00:54:09.110
to make sure again that it's a right fit the

00:54:09.110 --> 00:54:11.489
relationship the authenticity Keep the the website

00:54:11.489 --> 00:54:15.369
up to date. Yeah, and yeah modern counseling

00:54:15.369 --> 00:54:18.730
co .com If you're looking for help, please go

00:54:18.730 --> 00:54:21.530
to them as you can see they're amazing But also

00:54:21.530 --> 00:54:24.670
if you are a therapist or I don't know what the

00:54:24.670 --> 00:54:26.570
psychologist whatever if you're in the mental

00:54:26.570 --> 00:54:30.119
health field They are looking for people to join

00:54:30.119 --> 00:54:32.760
the practice, so get a hold of them. Any other

00:54:32.760 --> 00:54:34.320
way you want them to get ahold of you? A phone

00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:36.539
number? Website's perfect. It's got everything

00:54:36.539 --> 00:54:40.760
there. Natalie, my sister, Briana, I love you.

00:54:40.900 --> 00:54:42.820
I'm proud of you. Modern Counseling and Wellness

00:54:42.820 --> 00:54:49.360
Co. Check them out and just go get it. Even if

00:54:49.360 --> 00:54:51.920
you're not completely struggling, you don't have

00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.840
to wait until you're completely struggling. Go.

00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:56.699
You know, one of the biggest mistakes I ever

00:54:56.699 --> 00:54:59.960
made was stopping going to therapy because guess

00:54:59.960 --> 00:55:02.480
what? Life still goes on and more problems come.

00:55:02.519 --> 00:55:04.820
You don't graduate. I'm not saying you have to

00:55:04.820 --> 00:55:07.480
be in. You don't have to be in. You don't have

00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:09.679
to be in therapy your whole life. I want to be

00:55:09.679 --> 00:55:13.559
and I need to be. Some people can stop, but don't

00:55:13.559 --> 00:55:16.239
don't think that you have to graduate. Sometimes

00:55:16.239 --> 00:55:18.199
it's a lifelong commitment, but that's all up

00:55:18.199 --> 00:55:21.000
to the individual person. Anyway, it is Good

00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:23.039
News York sponsored by ads on the go. Get ads

00:55:23.039 --> 00:55:28.510
on the go dot com. Mike Perdisi out. Matt is

00:55:28.510 --> 00:55:30.969
on vacation. I think he's up at Enchanted Forest

00:55:30.969 --> 00:55:33.130
bottling his own water at the water slides. I

00:55:33.130 --> 00:55:34.730
don't know what the fuck he's doing. But he will

00:55:34.730 --> 00:55:37.289
be back next week, and I'll be back tomorrow.

00:55:37.750 --> 00:55:39.869
I might be flying solo. I forget if we have a

00:55:39.869 --> 00:55:42.210
guest or not. But thank you for tuning in to

00:55:42.210 --> 00:55:43.230
Good News York. We'll see you tomorrow.