Hey folks welcome to good news York. I'm your
host Matt major from growth mode content joined
always by my Spiky haired Mark McGrath look -alike
what? Mikey be every yesterday was vanilla ice
and today. I'm Mark McGrath funny story is I
originally wanted to say Mark McGrath yesterday,
and I fucked it up So I figured I'd throw that
at you today. I just want to but uh I'll take
Mark McGrath. He's a good -looking guy. You know
I actually like the guy you know seems like a
decent dude he hosted II You know, he sang Fly
and all those other great hits. That's his resume.
Why am I over here, David? I don't know. Why
am I over here, man? Because we have guests,
my friend. Oh! Far more interesting people than
you and I. Yes, way better looking, way more
interesting. We're in a good shape for this episode.
Joining us to talk about the awesome David's
Refuge event that's coming up in about a week,
right? It's June already, which is weird. Ladies,
if you wouldn't mind, please go ahead and introduce
yourself. I'm Diana Nightingale and I'm Chief
Development Officer for David's Refuge. We're
a nonprofit here in Syracuse serving caregivers
of children with special needs or life -threatening
medical conditions. Wow. Thanks for having me.
Absolutely. Happy to have you. And I'm Dr. Melissa
Karman and I own CNY Mental Health Counseling
and we are the official mental health partner
to David's Refuge for the last seven years where
we fill fully grant -funded programming, wellness
-oriented programming, individual counseling
sessions with licensed mental health counselors
through our practice. You're the best. That's
so incredible. We love her. If you remember,
for those who have been following along, if you
remember, our good friend Kate joined us on the
show and talked to us a little bit about David
Drafuge. And I got to tell you, the entire staff,
clearly, you, just as the same as Kate, just
can... say the mission, and clearly, I can tell
that you're into it. And honestly, I feel like
even more than a lot of organizations you see,
and I think that's why you're so effective. And
then, of course, you make great partnerships
with great professionals like Dr. Melissa here.
And we heard a little bit about that from Kate
as well. Would you mind expanding upon that,
though? Just what is sort of this partnership,
and what do the clients of this organization
get from you? Yeah, I'd be happy to. And it's
something that I am so passionate about because
we're able to bring such accessibility. of really
top tier mental health services to this population.
So it started, I mean, I was just joking with
Mike about this. I'm like, maybe eight years
ago or so, I won a raffle basket at one of the
David's Refuge fundraisers. I didn't know anything
about the organization at the time. And when
Kate called me, I was solo in solo practice.
And when she called me to tell me that I won
the raffle basket, we hit it off right away.
So I started volunteering with David's Refuge
and running typical sibling workshops. So bringing
the... siblings of kids with disabilities and
really intense medical conditions together with
the understanding that if we could bring them
together, do some psychoeducational workshops,
but really give them a chance to do something
special and uniquely their own that they otherwise
can't, that it would be really healing and wonderful
for them. So from there, it just took off. So
we started doing more programming, more workshops,
more wellness -oriented activities. Then right
at the beginning of COVID, Kate had the brilliant
idea of writing a grant together. So for the
last six years, I believe, we've had a grant
that has funded all of the mental health services
for David's Refuge families. And we put together
programming now. And since then, my practice
has expanded. Now we've got a dozen counselors
who provide wellness. outreach, caregiver support
groups. We still do typical support groups. But
the biggest thing we also do, we do a couples
intensive workshop, which my husband Jeff and
I run together. So you got a real life couple
doing it. But we also do David's Refuge through
the grant funds for sessions of individual counseling
or couples counseling for any of the families.
So it's a really encompassing program, and we're
so honored. We all love it in our practice. It's
one of our favorite things to do. That's actually
how I got the job here. I won a raffle basket.
And then I was just volunteering, and Matt's
like, you know what? We'll hire the guy. You
look like Mark McGrath. Yeah, exactly. You look
like Mark McGrath. Get in here, boy. It was actually
a lookalike contest. Yeah, it was. You know,
first of all, congratulations on all of that
and thank you for both of you for what you do.
As you know, I'm a huge advocate for mental health
and, you know, back to the comment about, you
know, Matt saying how you guys are all just so
passionate about it. I think I've learned through
going to therapy and how I've become passionate
about it. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, I
feel like everybody that's involved in mental
health has been touched by it. in some sort of
way, whether it's a family member, a friend,
or themselves. And when you kind of are on the
front lines of seeing somebody struggle with
mental health or other issues, it drives you
to want to fix it, whether it's for yourself
or other people. So I think it's almost like
you have... I can't imagine ever finding someone
involved in mental health who's not passionate
about it. Do you find... Does that sound pretty
accurate? I think that's for sure the truth.
And I think anybody who self -selects into a
service -oriented profession like that, you have
to have a passion. But the other... Because it's
hard, right? But the other thing too is that
I think all of us collectively in CNY Mental
Health Counseling, David's Refuge, we... find
the gaps where we can potentially help somebody
and we fill it. So it's thinking outside of the
box really with the common mission of just helping
people. Like it's actually that simple. And so
that's huge. It's so huge because I find that
you were saying earlier, you know, it's hard
to get mental health services or find them or
some people are just overwhelmed. They don't
know where to start. They don't have the resources.
Maybe they're afraid. And I think the problem
is a step further. We're struggling with things.
One more thing to figure out. Right. So it's
like the irony is that the hurdles you have to
go through sometimes to find mental health counseling.
But there's another step to that that I would
love your opinion on, which is I've found in
my years of therapy that there's some times where
I've kind of come to a plateau with a therapist
or I think. I'm not vibing with this person and
I learned early on that you're doing yourself
and that therapist to disservice if you continue
It's completely okay to move on but some of these
people are Having a hard enough time finding
therapy and then some of them do and they're
not really getting anything from it But then
they're like well, I don't want to go through
that again So I think the more accessible we
make the health care the better off it is overall
because they're getting healthcare, but also
they'll feel more obliged to say, hey, you know,
this isn't vibing. Because that's an important
part of therapy. If you're not vibing with your
therapist, it's okay. It's pointless. You need
to find somebody that you do vibe with in that
case. It's sort of like dating. You know, the
fit and research supports this. Statistically,
it's not... Successive therapy isn't as much
dependent on the modality that the therapist
is using or even the motivation of the person
coming in. Those two things matter. but it's
more about the relationship and the fit between
the therapist and the client, because once you
have that rapport and that fit, that allows you
to do the deeper work together. So as long as
the therapist is trained, like those are basic,
necessary ingredients that have to go into it,
you do have to have motivation. You do have to
have a very well -trained therapist. But once
you have those and you fit, that's when real
healing and magic can really happen. Yeah, I
was with a therapist. I was telling about my
struggle with procrastination and ADHD and she
says, well, you know, next time your wife asks
you to do what you're just say, I'm sorry, but
my body's not feeling that right now. And I tried
that on my wife and she almost killed me. So
that's when I was like, well, I'm going to pack
up here. We're going to try someone out. My wife's
like, your body's not feeling that right now.
I'll let you feel something. Melissa, are you
finding that these folks, these families from
David's Refuge and things, are they Getting these
services outside of of what you've been able
to offer or is this kind of their first touch
into that? Oh, that's a great question I don't
know to be honest like I don't know the actual
answer, but I do know that the program that we
have with the counseling sessions fills up every
single year. And I know David's Refuge, there's
a wait list already to be a part of David's Refuge.
So I think collectively, all of the momentum
going into trying to help people access the services,
whether it be mental health or something else,
it's there. So I mean, my call out would be to
foundations, donate, you know, people who are
private donors to really put a scope on this
and help out where you can. We've got legitimate,
successful companies, very well -trained professionals
who are able to provide the services. But a lot
of times, it's finding the funds to support the
people. And we've got the systems in place at
this point. And our hope is that we can grow
it by really developing the funds to be able
to support the people. We've got a great team
of really professional, licensed, trained professional
counselors. All master's degrees are higher.
need to be paid, and so we take care of them.
And the families who seek out services through
David's Refuge, I mean, it's like the perfect
triangle. And we've got the grant funding, and
we've got professional services, and then we've
got nonprofits like David's Refuge who have the
people who are in need. To me, that's the way
that we can make it more accessible. And if they
are seeking services outside of David's Refuge,
more power to you. We are all about do whatever
you need to do. I think these these partnerships
are Super critical because we talk about obviously
the need for mental health and people think that
means that you have to start a mental health
Charity, you know and that has to be its only
purpose. I think what you've demonstrated here
is these partnerships We're an organization that's
not necessarily 100 % of your focus But can deliver
that through a partnership with somebody who
is like that's to me a model that I think so
many Organizations could follow and and I love
to see it Diane Diana, right? Yeah. Diana. It's
okay. Sorry. No, I can't read my chicken scratch
if it was an E or an A. Just remind us, can you
talk a little bit about David's Refuge? Just
to remind us about what you guys do. Yeah, so
we've grown a lot. So David's Refuge started
in 2012 because Warren and Brenda Full created
it out of this experience that they had becoming
full -time caregivers for their son David. And
they just experience all the things like social
isolation, burnout, different challenges. Why
is one person healing faster than the other?
I know that's part of it. That can become a problem
sometimes too. Yeah, so they said, you know,
we know other families in this area that have
experienced similar things and we want to make
sure that they have support. So they created
it out of their home and they started taking
caregivers in to really just treat them. You
know, they would pay for massage therapists to
come in. They would make them a beautiful breakfast
and just like fellowship with them and show them
that, you know, they're not alone. Yeah. And
it really grew over time. So now we're serving
over 1 ,000 caregivers statewide each year. And
like Dr. Carmen said, we have over 300 caregivers
on our wait list just since January 2025. So
the growth is there, the need is there. And with
working with partners like Dr. Carmen, that allows
our small staff of eight full -time people to
serve these wonderful caregivers in the best
way that we can. So partnerships like that are
huge to give us the capacity so that we don't
have to turn into a mental health nonprofit.
We can see what the needs are of the caregivers,
really listen to them deeply. and then partner
with different people in the community who are
doing those things well, and then be able to
provide those services to the caregiver. That's
awesome. Eight folks serve 1 ,000. I don't know
the numbers on a lot of charities, but I feel
like those are pretty impressive as they go.
And when you think of each application, is a
family. Sure. So if you think of the ripple effect
of a thousand applications. A thousand families.
A thousand families. Yeah. Wide. And we're getting
more applications from all over. We're getting
them from Chautauqua to Long Island. Wow. Upstate,
you know, so. really all over the state now.
And I think that's a great way to transition
to talk about this event that supports this incredible
organization, right? So go ahead and tell us
a little bit about it. And then we'll have the
Grand Puba tell us a little more. I like that.
I couldn't remember the actual name of the thing.
The Grand Puba. Chair. Chair, OK. She's the honorary
chair. I think she's the Grand Puba. I think
we're going to change it to Grand Puba. Change
your email footer. I'm just imagining you in
a big hat and a cape and things. Well, I'll make
sure I get that out. Yeah. Absolutely. What is
this event all about? So it's Taste of David's
Refuge. So each year we have our biggest fundraiser
and social event of the year. It is on June 13th
this year at 530 at Heritage Hill Brewery in
Pompey. And it is just a wonderful evening. It's
like a celebration. So it's less formal, you
know, dress comfortably, wear cowboy boots or
like whatever makes you feel good, you know?
Sure. It's not formal, so there aren't round
tables set up where you're sitting for a formal
program. It's like more of an evening to see
and get a taste of what Davis Refuge is about.
It's about being natural, being honest and open,
being in your community, talking with other people,
finding what's been going on in their lives and
just deeply caring about each other. We have
amazing supporters and sponsors who attend the
event, but also we send care. every year. We
have a few different sponsors that donated all
their tickets back so that we could invite caregivers
and let them have like a date night. It's just
a really fun event. Dr. Carmen is our honorary
chair this year. And we're really excited to
just share a little bit about what she's done
for the caregivers that David's Refuge serves
and just all the things that she does for us.
We just love her so much. I mean, she is the
grand poobah. She is. What do you expect? The
one and only. I still don't know what that means.
It's not a bad thing. I've heard. What is it
from? I feel like it's from the Flintstones or
something. It's like a super dated... It's definitely
a pop culture reference. I knew what he meant.
It's like the head of the Elks Lodge or something
like that. I suppose if you don't know what it
is, it might come across as an insult. Like,
what did you just call me? I'm a what? No, he
meant, well, it's a good thing. Alright, then
it came with a crown, so I'll go with that. You
got a crown. Oh, good. We have to make this happen
now, I guess. Yeah, I mean, look. I know. I'll
wear that. I'll find it. I'll figure out what
it is and I'll wear it. But I also just wanted
to say, you know, when we come together like
this, it may seem and it is a big party. It's
really fun. But if you really step back and you
think about, you know, why is it so important?
You know, why should I spend a Friday night or
why should I donate? Why should I go on to the
there's a silent auction with some really great
and incredible packages? I know even our practice
is donating neurofeedback sessions. Wow. you
know, package of neurofeedback sessions. It's
also, I think, so critical to really think about
what it actually means. So if you step out, zoom
out, and maybe think about the process of what
it would mean for parents, they have a child
who is diagnosed with a severe disability or
something incredibly medically complex. They
may not know if their child will survive. They
may not know what all this means, and will they
be able to keep their job? How will they take
care of their other? You know, I have two women
in my practice who are David's Refuge moms, both
with very different children who have different
types of disabilities, but they are both incredibly
powerful, strong, confident women who manage
all of these things in their families. Not to
mention the fact, like, they will never, you
know, one, I was like, oh, my gosh, you must
be so excited. You're gonna be empty nesters.
She's like... I will never be an empty nester,
Melissa." And I'm like, oh, gosh, right, that's
right. The other one is like, you know, this
is my life, and I am so happy that this is my
life, but before I got to this point, I had to
think about, you know, how was I gonna make all
of these different pieces work with her daughter
being in the hospital all the time, you know,
days on end and the ICU, and I mean, she'll call
me and she's like, all right, I'm working from
the hospital today. I'm like, are you sure? Is
that okay with you? She's like, yep, this is
what we do. And it helps to keep my... You know,
I want to be distracted. This is how I cope.
And then when she gets out, it's like she has
another child. Like, how all of these pieces
work together. They're separate parents. You
know, one is in the hospital, one is at home,
keeping their jobs, keeping all of these balls
afloat. So if there's anything we can do to support
them to show up to say, hey, you're not alone,
we see you, we see the incredible things that
you're doing for your family, and we've got you.
I mean, I don't know if there's a God, that's
a different discussion, but if there is, I mean,
I feel like that's what you guys are doing. And
I'm not exaggerating because as I've talked about
on the show openly before, you know, I lost my
brother to leukemia when he was three. I was
like five or six. And that was a huge traumatic
event for not only me, but my family. And now
that I'm a dad and an adult, I almost found this
like newfound respect for my parents because
I'm like, how the hell? Yeah. Did you go through
that? And there was no David's Refuge back, right?
There wasn't a lot of that. There wasn't much
for mental health back then. Exactly. And they
put me in a little bit of counseling that I barely
remember. And we had the Ronald McDonald House,
which was fantastic. Shout out to them. But what
you guys are doing is so important for the obvious
reasons, but see. What we're not thinking about
is what you just said, which is, yeah, there's
the whole mourning part of it, right? You're
mourning about the loss or the sickness of a
child and the uncertainty and... But on top of
it, what about the day -to -day? How do I manage
my career? How do I take care of my other children,
and how do I take care of myself? It's still
regular life, yeah. Yeah, it's so huge. And then
your marriage. Your marriage, right. Like legal
things, financial things, educational things.
There's so many. Everything. So, I mean, I'm
so honored to be the chair alongside my husband,
Jeff, but we are a small, you know, representation
of all of the incredible supports that David's
Refuge has... put together to really support
the families. We've got nutritionists, legal
consults, educational consults, holistic medical
people. We've got a sound healer. Whatever the
families of David's Refuge needs, they have resources
for because they've recognized they can't do
it all themselves. But what they can do is create
all of these ripple effects of people in this
community. And the more we come together and
really show them that we've got not just the
but them, the better off, you know, everybody
else. And that furthers my point I said the other
day, which is, you know, with all the divisiveness
in this world, especially this country, people
need people. People need people, and we always
will. And you guys are a shining example of that.
To help other people, you can't even do it on
your own. You have a whole army of people. We
all need each other, and we can't lose sight
of that, you know? Diane can you tell us folks
that want to attend the event or if they can't
they just want to support the organization? What's
the best way to do that? Our website is great.
It's davidsrefuge .org Right now we have a pop
-up. So if you visit our website, it'll go right
to the Taste of David's Refuge page. Perfect.
And you could purchase tickets or sponsorships
there. If you X out of that little box, you can
go and see what are all the services we offer.
You can find the caregiver application there.
So it's really a one -stop shop. But of course
you could reach out to us, you know, phone or
email as well. I'm happy to share the contact
and reach out to us. And then we're getting a
little ahead of ourselves, but you've got a couple
other major fundraisers throughout the year that
folks couldn't think about, too, right? We do.
This weekend, actually, we'll be at Taste of
Syracuse. Awesome. So we're really excited about
that. They could visit us at the TOPS or Visions
Federal Credit Union. Gotcha. And then the 21st,
we're having an event at Milton Cat. It's a first
of its kind, a touch a truck fundraiser. That's
cool. Yes. So it's completely open and accessible
to families free of charge. So if you'd like
to, if you have a young one or if you're an adult
like me that just likes big trucks, you could
come check them out. They're cool. I don't care
what anybody says. I take my son to an event
down near the Binghamton area every year, truck
day. And you get to like, they just line all
these, you know, bucket trucks, fire trucks.
You get in and you hit the sirens. What a great
event. And I have more fun than my son does and
he's six. It's great. And then if you like to
golf. Yeah. June 29th and 30th. It's a Sunday
Monday. We are partnered with NFL Alumni Association's
Upstate New York chapter. Wow. This is their
second annual golf tournament. And David's Refuge
will be one of the charities that is a recipient
of the funds raised. That's pretty cool. Matt,
you can break in your six bags of golf clubs.
That's a different story. I'm not ready yet.
That's phenomenal. I don't know if this is a
weird question, but I think it's important. So
let's say someone's listening right now or watching
and they're very intrigued by David's Refuge.
I don't want to say who qualifies, but if someone
was curious about David's Refuge What is your
clientele? Who is your clientele generally? So
if you're a caregiver of a child with special
needs or life -threatening medical conditions
and you live in the state of New York, you qualify.
We do not have any limitations on age and it
could also be like a family member. It doesn't
necessarily have to be a parent. As long as you
are the caregiver, you qualify. So you can go
on our website, though. There's a little bit
more information about a few little specifics.
So if you're interested, you could find out there.
That is awesome. And then before we get out of
here, Dr. Melissa, can you just take a couple
of minutes and tell us just a little bit more
about your practice, what you do? for not David's
Refuge. And are you accepting patients and things
of that nature? Yeah, absolutely. So similar
to David's Refuge, we work with people throughout
New York State, so our license limits us to that.
Gotcha. And we have an incredible team of 10,
soon to be 14. We're growing fast. Awesome. One
of the interesting things, like I didn't intend
ever to really have a group practice, but the
need of the community, the way that we're doing
things is to really listen. And that's the response.
Gotcha. The community, they just want more. And
so. One of the things that we do is to partner,
like David's Refuge, we partner with school districts,
we partner with private companies, we partner
with, we've got a partnership with Upstate, lots
of different ways to make it more accessible.
So companies are doing subsidized counseling,
and we use a multi -tiered systems of support
model so that we do wellness and outreach programming
combined with small group. processing, crisis
response, small groups, focus groups. For example,
one of my personal favorite things is to do family
counseling with companies and executive teams.
Really? If you think about it. That's wild. We're
family here. How many times do you hear that?
OK, there is a lot of dysfunction in a lot of
families and in a lot of companies, especially
when you think about as long as the parents are
getting along. than they can model things for
the kids. 100%. This is brilliant. Thank you.
No, I mean, like, that's really cut. No, you
are the grand pooper. No, that is brilliant.
I've never thought of that concept of taking
the model of family therapy and applying it to
the workplace because, I mean, every day. I see
it all the time. You see it all the time. Like,
hey, my boss, I hate this coworker, right? You
know? Or co -owners, co -founders. So that's
more of what I do. And the bread and butter of
the practice is really, you know, anybody who
calls. You know, so it's we see, I mean, I couldn't
tell you the numbers off the top of my head.
We've grown real fast. And so we've got two locations
on the east side of town, you know, Manlius and
Fayetteville. We do virtual throughout all of
New York state. So what percentage kind of comes
in versus the virtual? Most people want to be
in person at this point. And so that's one of
the things is that it's, I think post -COVID
world, it's a different energy. Different demographics
are different though. Like our college students,
for example, they may be two blocks away and
they don't wanna come in. Or our David's Refuge
families, they can't get out of the house necessarily.
So there's an accessibility issue. Again, like
I'm just trying to meet it on all fronts. But
yeah, it's really with the executive stuff, I
mean, that's actually like sort of a sidestep
business. for me, but I go in, you know, and
I go into the companies and I do a lot of more
intensive trainings. It's like, I'll come to
your house. Just from a business standpoint,
like that's... That sounds like absolute gold.
It really is. You got something going there,
that's for sure. But again, it's finding the
gaps. Wait a sec, I could help here, maybe, I'll
try, I don't know, but I'll try. I love this.
You got a doctor and an entrepreneur in one person.
It's crazy. That's the recipe for success, I'm
telling you. I have like one or two more questions,
if that's alright. Wanted to I just thought for
those listening your quota or what I know for
those listening or watching I think this is important
to ask to both of you if you'd like to answer
is what do you think one of the biggest misconceptions
about? Mental health and therapy is other than
you know the the macho guys that are like oh
can't talk about Mike We know that that's a miss
is there anything that you can think of that's
another misconception that you could maybe dispel
I would say, to me, one of the biggest ones that
keeps coming up lately for me, which just rings
loud, is the insight alone. doesn't heal people.
So like you can talk about things, you can read
things, you can go to therapy with somebody who's
going to help you really understand your issues,
or you can even, you know, retell your story.
But therapy at this point, and a lot of it is
due to, you know, enhanced brain imaging, and
we now know more about how the brain works. But
it's a lot more about implicit memory and like
what we hold on to energetically from our traumas
that we all have I'd say that would be number
two is that everyone has a certain element of
trauma that they hold on to and it could be as
simple as like a comment that you just remember
that somebody made to you that just echoes in
your head and it kind of creates like this anchor
point for you and the more you recognize and
sort of tease that apart and have that therapeutic
relationship where you can feel safe enough to
resolve it and that therapist knows how to do
that energetic work where they really are healing,
and it's a different kind of therapy. That's
awesome. That's a great answer. Yeah. Perfect.
I mean, those are great examples. There's a lot
of misconceptions out there, and that's part
of the... You know, my mission is like, you know,
we have more people involved in mental health
on here is to kind of get rid of those, you know,
you know, if we can help one person listening
or watching, you know, it's a success. And what
you guys do is amazing. Now they're the last
question I have is that there are a lot of different.
So back in the day, it was like talk therapy.
Now, if you research, there's there's cognitive
behavioral therapy. That's the most common CBT
EMDR, which you and I talked about off the air.
What are some of the newer things that you guys
are seeing or experiencing that are out there
and yeah, what do you think about that? Do folks
get a glossary when they come in just to decode
everything? They should be. Well, so I think
a lot of therapists now do an integrated model.
So it's not a one size fits all approach. And
you may have therapists who specialize in a certain
modality. So I'm like a big internal family systems
advocate. And that is, you know, it's parts work.
It's saying like a part of me wants to get better,
but a part of me doesn't. And it's this idea
that all of that is protective. And so it's understanding
what your parts are and then what wounds they
are really trying to protect you from feeling.
So it's that. It's all integrative. So like you
said, cognitive behavioral therapy. One of the
reasons that that has become the most popular
is because it was manualized so they could research
it. So it's hard to really know what is the most
effective ingredient in therapy. Again, it comes
back to the relationship. I think they've been
able to figure that out. But like modalities,
as far as like brain rewiring or like EMDR, a
lot of the somatic approaches now because it
does shift the energy are what is being found
to be the most effective way. healing, because
without, again, just doing the insight -oriented,
it doesn't change long -term. You still hold
this, like, you know, the pit in your stomach,
right, or like that dread that you sense, and
it may come out of the blue. Grief is a good
example of that. It just stays until you can
really truly resolve and heal it. So, neurofeedback,
I mentioned, is technologically assisted therapy.
So, the easiest way to describe it is that it's
physical therapy for your brain. Wow. I just
did this light therapy thing the other night
on this app which I don't recommend because you
don't you know I don't recommend just downloading
apps and trust you know but I read the reviews
and I did this light therapy and it was one of
the most from my phone with the flashlight the
way they have it vibrating and doing And I went
through this entire journey before I went to
bed with headphones on. And it was one of the
most incredible experiences I've ever, and I
text my sister who's a therapist and I said,
I know this is weird because it's an app, but
I think it's really doing something. And so that's
what inspired me to ask the question of, you
know, there seems to be a lot out there. And
how do you stay up on that? You guys, you go
to conferences and things like that. I mean,
because I feel like it's evolving a lot. Just
got back from a six day trauma research foundation
conference in Boston. Wow. That sounds exciting.
Yeah, it was. Dramatic. No, I think they called
it TraumaCon. Wow. All right. That's a great
name. Yeah, that is pretty great. It was awesome.
Again, to your point, I get excited about this
stuff. It's very passionate. It was incredible.
Well, because when you're going through something,
I can speak from experience. When you are going
through something traumatic and you can't control
your feelings or your emotions or you're scared,
you feel like you're dying, whatever you're going
through, any beacon of hope that you can grab
onto feels like the greatest win. when you come
on and talk about what you guys are doing, maybe
someone's listening and they feel that. I think
that's why you're so passionate about it, because
it is really a lifelong journey of getting better
and figuring it out and just feeling good. And
so you give people hope when you talk about that.
And I love it. And I thank you so much. Good
people. I think having hope is one of the things
that every single human needs. Yes. It's because
when you lose hope, you feel alone, right? And
so one of, from my experience, and this one is
so general, but it was just coming to me, and
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about
counseling is that it's for someone else. So
when you have that idea that it's not for me,
you know, I don't need this, I can just get through
it on my own. I think every single human experiences
fear, anxiety, trauma. Sure, couldn't agree more.
One of those things hits, right? And it's not
a matter of if it's going to hit, it's when.
Yeah. And when you get to a point where you feel
alone because you can't talk about it or you
don't think someone understands, even if it's
just your spouse, you know, maybe you just don't
have time to talk about it. but it's that when
you feel alone, that's your darkest moment. So
knowing that there are people to support you,
these resources exist, and you can get them.
Just even talking to someone that you can trust
is just a first step. 100%. And Diana, you're
so right, because when someone's like, ah, therapy's
not for me, I would never. you know, make someone
feel bad for that. I keep my mouth shut, but
I'm thinking, that's like saying, eh, I'm not
into showers. You know, like everybody needs
a shower at some point, right? Danny. No, I'm
kidding. No, but it, no. But you know what I
mean? It's, it's, and please, I'm not insulting
people that don't, that aren't comfortable with
therapy, and that's fine. People that don't shower?
Well, that too. But don't, you know, don't say
that it's not for you. And, you know, maybe,
maybe you're choosing not to go and that's okay,
but. everybody can benefit from therapy. And
it's just a matter of some people feel these
things more than others. You know, some might
feel fear and despair and a little bit bigger
and harder than somebody else. But like you said,
someone else is going to feel that same thing
even if it's just a little bit. So I think everybody
should go to therapy. Everybody should go. Is
that your position? It was unclear. No, it is.
Everybody should go to therapy. We'd all be better
off. Like I joke, I'm like, I'm a lifer. Yeah,
sure. I'll go forever. Me too. It doesn't mean
that I need to. There are different times in
my life when I've needed to, but I just think
that it... what I get out of it, it always is
validating. I'm like, ah, shoot, I did need to
come today. Well, that's awesome. And if you
spend five minutes on Facebook, you realize everybody
needs therapy. We all need to go to therapy.
And I think it's just about being open to it
even, like being curious about yourself. That's
a big thing. Like everybody wants to learn, right?
So it's just a learning experience. It's like,
why am I feeling this way? And then you might
talk to someone and then understand, oh my gosh,
that's where that came from. That's something
I wasn't even thinking. That's it. That's the
hook. It's like unlocking a key, a door, you
know? I'll never forget those moments in therapy,
and it might be between days, between weeks,
between months, but there's that oh shit, oh
my god moment that you have, where you realize
something about yourself, or you resolve an issue,
and that's the beauty of therapy. You guys give
the tools, and it's up to us to use those tools
out in the real world, but there is a lot that
can be... done in office, the breakthroughs do
happen, and it's just, it's awesome. Yeah. Ladies,
this has been incredible. This has. We're really,
really excited for the event coming up, the Taste
event. My wife and I will be there. We're very
excited about that. Growth Mode Tech is a sponsor
of that, and we've been a big supporter of David's
Refuge for a long time, and will continue to
be for all the reasons that we've talked about
here. So anytime... The door is open to either
one of you and the entire organization wants
to talk about anything you got going on, because
it's fun stuff too, you know? And that's what
we do here at Good News York is share that good
news. And it can be a little sad the position
that folks are in, but I think the other side
is folks helping them is the best story, so.
We're really happy to have you. Thanks for being
such advocates for us. Of course. Absolutely.
Absolutely. And one more time, if you guys want
to give out any websites or event dates, please
go. Let's make sure we plug those one more time.
Sure. So Taste of David's Refuge is June 13th.
It's a Friday from 5 .30 to 9. So we wrap up
right after sunset. You can find tickets on our
website at davidsrefuge .org. And we'd love to
have you there. Awesome. That's great. And we
are CNY Mental Health Counseling, so our website
cnymhc .com, or you can find me at drmelissacarmon
.com. It's C -A -R -M -A -N. Nice. Awesome. Thank
you. I love it. Ladies, thank you again for joining
us. This is phenomenal. We really, really appreciate
it. And we will see you at the event here. Yeah.
And we'll be back. Good News York, sponsored
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