WEBVTT 00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:25.359 Hey folks welcome to good news York. I'm your 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:27.879 host Matt major from growth mode content joined 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:31.239 always by my Spiky haired Mark McGrath look -alike 00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:34.280 what? Mikey be every yesterday was vanilla ice 00:00:34.280 --> 00:00:36.840 and today. I'm Mark McGrath funny story is I 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:38.859 originally wanted to say Mark McGrath yesterday, 00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:40.640 and I fucked it up So I figured I'd throw that 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:42.780 at you today. I just want to but uh I'll take 00:00:42.780 --> 00:00:44.520 Mark McGrath. He's a good -looking guy. You know 00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:46.759 I actually like the guy you know seems like a 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:51.259 decent dude he hosted II You know, he sang Fly 00:00:51.259 --> 00:00:54.039 and all those other great hits. That's his resume. 00:00:54.179 --> 00:00:55.719 Why am I over here, David? I don't know. Why 00:00:55.719 --> 00:00:56.960 am I over here, man? Because we have guests, 00:00:57.159 --> 00:00:59.979 my friend. Oh! Far more interesting people than 00:00:59.979 --> 00:01:02.939 you and I. Yes, way better looking, way more 00:01:02.939 --> 00:01:05.560 interesting. We're in a good shape for this episode. 00:01:05.980 --> 00:01:08.319 Joining us to talk about the awesome David's 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:10.579 Refuge event that's coming up in about a week, 00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:15.859 right? It's June already, which is weird. Ladies, 00:01:15.939 --> 00:01:17.180 if you wouldn't mind, please go ahead and introduce 00:01:17.180 --> 00:01:21.650 yourself. I'm Diana Nightingale and I'm Chief 00:01:21.650 --> 00:01:24.109 Development Officer for David's Refuge. We're 00:01:24.109 --> 00:01:27.409 a nonprofit here in Syracuse serving caregivers 00:01:27.409 --> 00:01:30.069 of children with special needs or life -threatening 00:01:30.069 --> 00:01:32.489 medical conditions. Wow. Thanks for having me. 00:01:32.489 --> 00:01:35.810 Absolutely. Happy to have you. And I'm Dr. Melissa 00:01:35.810 --> 00:01:38.890 Karman and I own CNY Mental Health Counseling 00:01:38.890 --> 00:01:41.170 and we are the official mental health partner 00:01:41.170 --> 00:01:43.909 to David's Refuge for the last seven years where 00:01:43.909 --> 00:01:48.950 we fill fully grant -funded programming, wellness 00:01:48.950 --> 00:01:51.629 -oriented programming, individual counseling 00:01:51.629 --> 00:01:53.530 sessions with licensed mental health counselors 00:01:53.530 --> 00:01:55.890 through our practice. You're the best. That's 00:01:55.890 --> 00:01:58.609 so incredible. We love her. If you remember, 00:01:59.709 --> 00:02:01.909 for those who have been following along, if you 00:02:01.909 --> 00:02:04.569 remember, our good friend Kate joined us on the 00:02:04.569 --> 00:02:06.370 show and talked to us a little bit about David 00:02:06.370 --> 00:02:09.849 Drafuge. And I got to tell you, the entire staff, 00:02:10.069 --> 00:02:12.930 clearly, you, just as the same as Kate, just 00:02:12.930 --> 00:02:16.400 can... say the mission, and clearly, I can tell 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:19.520 that you're into it. And honestly, I feel like 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:21.659 even more than a lot of organizations you see, 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.280 and I think that's why you're so effective. And 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:27.680 then, of course, you make great partnerships 00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:30.060 with great professionals like Dr. Melissa here. 00:02:30.300 --> 00:02:32.259 And we heard a little bit about that from Kate 00:02:32.259 --> 00:02:34.639 as well. Would you mind expanding upon that, 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:37.219 though? Just what is sort of this partnership, 00:02:37.319 --> 00:02:40.080 and what do the clients of this organization 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:42.259 get from you? Yeah, I'd be happy to. And it's 00:02:42.259 --> 00:02:44.539 something that I am so passionate about because 00:02:44.539 --> 00:02:47.969 we're able to bring such accessibility. of really 00:02:47.969 --> 00:02:50.710 top tier mental health services to this population. 00:02:51.189 --> 00:02:54.150 So it started, I mean, I was just joking with 00:02:54.150 --> 00:02:55.930 Mike about this. I'm like, maybe eight years 00:02:55.930 --> 00:02:58.710 ago or so, I won a raffle basket at one of the 00:02:58.710 --> 00:03:00.710 David's Refuge fundraisers. I didn't know anything 00:03:00.710 --> 00:03:03.009 about the organization at the time. And when 00:03:03.009 --> 00:03:05.669 Kate called me, I was solo in solo practice. 00:03:05.689 --> 00:03:07.770 And when she called me to tell me that I won 00:03:07.770 --> 00:03:10.370 the raffle basket, we hit it off right away. 00:03:10.650 --> 00:03:13.009 So I started volunteering with David's Refuge 00:03:13.009 --> 00:03:16.250 and running typical sibling workshops. So bringing 00:03:16.250 --> 00:03:19.000 the... siblings of kids with disabilities and 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.759 really intense medical conditions together with 00:03:21.759 --> 00:03:23.379 the understanding that if we could bring them 00:03:23.379 --> 00:03:26.020 together, do some psychoeducational workshops, 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:28.000 but really give them a chance to do something 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:30.860 special and uniquely their own that they otherwise 00:03:30.860 --> 00:03:33.039 can't, that it would be really healing and wonderful 00:03:33.039 --> 00:03:36.229 for them. So from there, it just took off. So 00:03:36.229 --> 00:03:38.590 we started doing more programming, more workshops, 00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:41.729 more wellness -oriented activities. Then right 00:03:41.729 --> 00:03:43.590 at the beginning of COVID, Kate had the brilliant 00:03:43.590 --> 00:03:46.969 idea of writing a grant together. So for the 00:03:46.969 --> 00:03:49.930 last six years, I believe, we've had a grant 00:03:49.930 --> 00:03:52.849 that has funded all of the mental health services 00:03:52.849 --> 00:03:55.909 for David's Refuge families. And we put together 00:03:55.909 --> 00:03:58.490 programming now. And since then, my practice 00:03:58.490 --> 00:04:01.030 has expanded. Now we've got a dozen counselors 00:04:01.030 --> 00:04:05.509 who provide wellness. outreach, caregiver support 00:04:05.509 --> 00:04:08.110 groups. We still do typical support groups. But 00:04:08.110 --> 00:04:10.270 the biggest thing we also do, we do a couples 00:04:10.270 --> 00:04:12.669 intensive workshop, which my husband Jeff and 00:04:12.669 --> 00:04:14.810 I run together. So you got a real life couple 00:04:14.810 --> 00:04:18.569 doing it. But we also do David's Refuge through 00:04:18.569 --> 00:04:21.689 the grant funds for sessions of individual counseling 00:04:21.689 --> 00:04:23.930 or couples counseling for any of the families. 00:04:24.829 --> 00:04:27.550 So it's a really encompassing program, and we're 00:04:27.550 --> 00:04:30.310 so honored. We all love it in our practice. It's 00:04:30.310 --> 00:04:31.750 one of our favorite things to do. That's actually 00:04:31.750 --> 00:04:33.850 how I got the job here. I won a raffle basket. 00:04:34.310 --> 00:04:36.529 And then I was just volunteering, and Matt's 00:04:36.529 --> 00:04:38.110 like, you know what? We'll hire the guy. You 00:04:38.110 --> 00:04:40.509 look like Mark McGrath. Yeah, exactly. You look 00:04:40.509 --> 00:04:42.389 like Mark McGrath. Get in here, boy. It was actually 00:04:42.389 --> 00:04:45.149 a lookalike contest. Yeah, it was. You know, 00:04:45.610 --> 00:04:48.310 first of all, congratulations on all of that 00:04:48.310 --> 00:04:51.129 and thank you for both of you for what you do. 00:04:51.589 --> 00:04:54.069 As you know, I'm a huge advocate for mental health 00:04:54.069 --> 00:04:55.889 and, you know, back to the comment about, you 00:04:55.889 --> 00:04:57.889 know, Matt saying how you guys are all just so 00:04:57.889 --> 00:04:59.949 passionate about it. I think I've learned through 00:04:59.949 --> 00:05:02.829 going to therapy and how I've become passionate 00:05:02.829 --> 00:05:06.329 about it. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, I 00:05:06.329 --> 00:05:08.430 feel like everybody that's involved in mental 00:05:08.430 --> 00:05:11.060 health has been touched by it. in some sort of 00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:13.639 way, whether it's a family member, a friend, 00:05:13.800 --> 00:05:17.720 or themselves. And when you kind of are on the 00:05:17.720 --> 00:05:20.819 front lines of seeing somebody struggle with 00:05:20.819 --> 00:05:24.209 mental health or other issues, it drives you 00:05:24.209 --> 00:05:26.529 to want to fix it, whether it's for yourself 00:05:26.529 --> 00:05:29.050 or other people. So I think it's almost like 00:05:29.050 --> 00:05:31.550 you have... I can't imagine ever finding someone 00:05:31.550 --> 00:05:33.209 involved in mental health who's not passionate 00:05:33.209 --> 00:05:35.269 about it. Do you find... Does that sound pretty 00:05:35.269 --> 00:05:37.350 accurate? I think that's for sure the truth. 00:05:37.350 --> 00:05:39.589 And I think anybody who self -selects into a 00:05:39.589 --> 00:05:41.750 service -oriented profession like that, you have 00:05:41.750 --> 00:05:44.529 to have a passion. But the other... Because it's 00:05:44.529 --> 00:05:47.230 hard, right? But the other thing too is that 00:05:47.230 --> 00:05:50.430 I think all of us collectively in CNY Mental 00:05:50.430 --> 00:05:52.970 Health Counseling, David's Refuge, we... find 00:05:52.970 --> 00:05:56.750 the gaps where we can potentially help somebody 00:05:56.750 --> 00:05:59.089 and we fill it. So it's thinking outside of the 00:05:59.089 --> 00:06:01.569 box really with the common mission of just helping 00:06:01.569 --> 00:06:04.629 people. Like it's actually that simple. And so 00:06:04.629 --> 00:06:07.870 that's huge. It's so huge because I find that 00:06:07.870 --> 00:06:11.170 you were saying earlier, you know, it's hard 00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:15.129 to get mental health services or find them or 00:06:15.129 --> 00:06:16.829 some people are just overwhelmed. They don't 00:06:16.829 --> 00:06:18.449 know where to start. They don't have the resources. 00:06:18.529 --> 00:06:20.910 Maybe they're afraid. And I think the problem 00:06:20.910 --> 00:06:22.529 is a step further. We're struggling with things. 00:06:22.569 --> 00:06:24.870 One more thing to figure out. Right. So it's 00:06:24.870 --> 00:06:26.790 like the irony is that the hurdles you have to 00:06:26.790 --> 00:06:29.269 go through sometimes to find mental health counseling. 00:06:29.649 --> 00:06:31.589 But there's another step to that that I would 00:06:31.589 --> 00:06:34.329 love your opinion on, which is I've found in 00:06:34.329 --> 00:06:36.910 my years of therapy that there's some times where 00:06:36.910 --> 00:06:39.589 I've kind of come to a plateau with a therapist 00:06:39.589 --> 00:06:43.560 or I think. I'm not vibing with this person and 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:45.779 I learned early on that you're doing yourself 00:06:45.779 --> 00:06:47.879 and that therapist to disservice if you continue 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:51.240 It's completely okay to move on but some of these 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:53.600 people are Having a hard enough time finding 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:55.800 therapy and then some of them do and they're 00:06:55.800 --> 00:06:58.000 not really getting anything from it But then 00:06:58.000 --> 00:06:59.319 they're like well, I don't want to go through 00:06:59.319 --> 00:07:02.779 that again So I think the more accessible we 00:07:02.779 --> 00:07:05.759 make the health care the better off it is overall 00:07:05.930 --> 00:07:07.350 because they're getting healthcare, but also 00:07:07.350 --> 00:07:09.610 they'll feel more obliged to say, hey, you know, 00:07:09.610 --> 00:07:11.069 this isn't vibing. Because that's an important 00:07:11.069 --> 00:07:14.069 part of therapy. If you're not vibing with your 00:07:14.069 --> 00:07:16.629 therapist, it's okay. It's pointless. You need 00:07:16.629 --> 00:07:20.089 to find somebody that you do vibe with in that 00:07:20.089 --> 00:07:22.910 case. It's sort of like dating. You know, the 00:07:22.910 --> 00:07:25.110 fit and research supports this. Statistically, 00:07:25.430 --> 00:07:27.689 it's not... Successive therapy isn't as much 00:07:27.689 --> 00:07:29.649 dependent on the modality that the therapist 00:07:29.649 --> 00:07:32.230 is using or even the motivation of the person 00:07:32.230 --> 00:07:34.660 coming in. Those two things matter. but it's 00:07:34.660 --> 00:07:37.480 more about the relationship and the fit between 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:40.540 the therapist and the client, because once you 00:07:40.540 --> 00:07:43.540 have that rapport and that fit, that allows you 00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:45.720 to do the deeper work together. So as long as 00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:49.060 the therapist is trained, like those are basic, 00:07:49.399 --> 00:07:52.040 necessary ingredients that have to go into it, 00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:54.360 you do have to have motivation. You do have to 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:56.480 have a very well -trained therapist. But once 00:07:56.480 --> 00:07:59.240 you have those and you fit, that's when real 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:01.920 healing and magic can really happen. Yeah, I 00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:04.379 was with a therapist. I was telling about my 00:08:04.379 --> 00:08:07.360 struggle with procrastination and ADHD and she 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:09.259 says, well, you know, next time your wife asks 00:08:09.259 --> 00:08:11.439 you to do what you're just say, I'm sorry, but 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:13.819 my body's not feeling that right now. And I tried 00:08:13.819 --> 00:08:16.500 that on my wife and she almost killed me. So 00:08:16.500 --> 00:08:18.680 that's when I was like, well, I'm going to pack 00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:21.660 up here. We're going to try someone out. My wife's 00:08:21.660 --> 00:08:24.139 like, your body's not feeling that right now. 00:08:24.779 --> 00:08:28.579 I'll let you feel something. Melissa, are you 00:08:28.579 --> 00:08:31.660 finding that these folks, these families from 00:08:31.660 --> 00:08:34.250 David's Refuge and things, are they Getting these 00:08:34.250 --> 00:08:36.110 services outside of of what you've been able 00:08:36.110 --> 00:08:38.029 to offer or is this kind of their first touch 00:08:38.029 --> 00:08:40.730 into that? Oh, that's a great question I don't 00:08:40.730 --> 00:08:43.190 know to be honest like I don't know the actual 00:08:43.190 --> 00:08:46.159 answer, but I do know that the program that we 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.840 have with the counseling sessions fills up every 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:51.419 single year. And I know David's Refuge, there's 00:08:51.419 --> 00:08:54.220 a wait list already to be a part of David's Refuge. 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:57.519 So I think collectively, all of the momentum 00:08:57.519 --> 00:09:00.940 going into trying to help people access the services, 00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:02.960 whether it be mental health or something else, 00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:06.399 it's there. So I mean, my call out would be to 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:09.700 foundations, donate, you know, people who are 00:09:09.700 --> 00:09:13.080 private donors to really put a scope on this 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:15.940 and help out where you can. We've got legitimate, 00:09:16.259 --> 00:09:19.379 successful companies, very well -trained professionals 00:09:19.379 --> 00:09:21.320 who are able to provide the services. But a lot 00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:23.960 of times, it's finding the funds to support the 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:26.360 people. And we've got the systems in place at 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:29.919 this point. And our hope is that we can grow 00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:34.320 it by really developing the funds to be able 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:36.720 to support the people. We've got a great team 00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:40.399 of really professional, licensed, trained professional 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:42.879 counselors. All master's degrees are higher. 00:09:43.850 --> 00:09:46.110 need to be paid, and so we take care of them. 00:09:47.070 --> 00:09:49.909 And the families who seek out services through 00:09:49.909 --> 00:09:52.429 David's Refuge, I mean, it's like the perfect 00:09:52.429 --> 00:09:54.870 triangle. And we've got the grant funding, and 00:09:54.870 --> 00:09:56.970 we've got professional services, and then we've 00:09:56.970 --> 00:09:59.730 got nonprofits like David's Refuge who have the 00:09:59.730 --> 00:10:02.669 people who are in need. To me, that's the way 00:10:02.669 --> 00:10:05.389 that we can make it more accessible. And if they 00:10:05.389 --> 00:10:08.009 are seeking services outside of David's Refuge, 00:10:08.129 --> 00:10:11.950 more power to you. We are all about do whatever 00:10:11.950 --> 00:10:15.320 you need to do. I think these these partnerships 00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:18.779 are Super critical because we talk about obviously 00:10:18.779 --> 00:10:20.500 the need for mental health and people think that 00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:23.059 means that you have to start a mental health 00:10:23.059 --> 00:10:24.620 Charity, you know and that has to be its only 00:10:24.620 --> 00:10:27.019 purpose. I think what you've demonstrated here 00:10:27.019 --> 00:10:29.860 is these partnerships We're an organization that's 00:10:29.860 --> 00:10:32.620 not necessarily 100 % of your focus But can deliver 00:10:32.620 --> 00:10:34.059 that through a partnership with somebody who 00:10:34.059 --> 00:10:36.480 is like that's to me a model that I think so 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:38.779 many Organizations could follow and and I love 00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:44.779 to see it Diane Diana, right? Yeah. Diana. It's 00:10:44.779 --> 00:10:47.519 okay. Sorry. No, I can't read my chicken scratch 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:50.700 if it was an E or an A. Just remind us, can you 00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:53.080 talk a little bit about David's Refuge? Just 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:56.740 to remind us about what you guys do. Yeah, so 00:10:56.740 --> 00:10:59.279 we've grown a lot. So David's Refuge started 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:04.179 in 2012 because Warren and Brenda Full created 00:11:04.179 --> 00:11:07.399 it out of this experience that they had becoming 00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:11.200 full -time caregivers for their son David. And 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:14.600 they just experience all the things like social 00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:21.740 isolation, burnout, different challenges. Why 00:11:21.740 --> 00:11:24.059 is one person healing faster than the other? 00:11:24.179 --> 00:11:26.539 I know that's part of it. That can become a problem 00:11:26.539 --> 00:11:29.629 sometimes too. Yeah, so they said, you know, 00:11:29.769 --> 00:11:32.309 we know other families in this area that have 00:11:32.309 --> 00:11:34.830 experienced similar things and we want to make 00:11:34.830 --> 00:11:37.710 sure that they have support. So they created 00:11:37.710 --> 00:11:39.750 it out of their home and they started taking 00:11:39.750 --> 00:11:43.269 caregivers in to really just treat them. You 00:11:43.269 --> 00:11:47.490 know, they would pay for massage therapists to 00:11:47.490 --> 00:11:49.950 come in. They would make them a beautiful breakfast 00:11:49.950 --> 00:11:52.210 and just like fellowship with them and show them 00:11:52.210 --> 00:11:55.299 that, you know, they're not alone. Yeah. And 00:11:55.299 --> 00:11:58.259 it really grew over time. So now we're serving 00:11:58.259 --> 00:12:02.379 over 1 ,000 caregivers statewide each year. And 00:12:02.379 --> 00:12:06.320 like Dr. Carmen said, we have over 300 caregivers 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:10.919 on our wait list just since January 2025. So 00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:14.779 the growth is there, the need is there. And with 00:12:14.779 --> 00:12:17.820 working with partners like Dr. Carmen, that allows 00:12:17.820 --> 00:12:21.279 our small staff of eight full -time people to 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:24.779 serve these wonderful caregivers in the best 00:12:24.779 --> 00:12:27.179 way that we can. So partnerships like that are 00:12:27.179 --> 00:12:30.159 huge to give us the capacity so that we don't 00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:33.120 have to turn into a mental health nonprofit. 00:12:33.940 --> 00:12:36.179 We can see what the needs are of the caregivers, 00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:39.529 really listen to them deeply. and then partner 00:12:39.529 --> 00:12:41.549 with different people in the community who are 00:12:41.549 --> 00:12:45.409 doing those things well, and then be able to 00:12:45.409 --> 00:12:47.929 provide those services to the caregiver. That's 00:12:47.929 --> 00:12:53.529 awesome. Eight folks serve 1 ,000. I don't know 00:12:53.529 --> 00:12:55.269 the numbers on a lot of charities, but I feel 00:12:55.269 --> 00:12:57.610 like those are pretty impressive as they go. 00:12:57.950 --> 00:13:01.139 And when you think of each application, is a 00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:03.679 family. Sure. So if you think of the ripple effect 00:13:03.679 --> 00:13:06.899 of a thousand applications. A thousand families. 00:13:06.940 --> 00:13:09.440 A thousand families. Yeah. Wide. And we're getting 00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:12.679 more applications from all over. We're getting 00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:16.039 them from Chautauqua to Long Island. Wow. Upstate, 00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:19.429 you know, so. really all over the state now. 00:13:19.809 --> 00:13:21.590 And I think that's a great way to transition 00:13:21.590 --> 00:13:24.330 to talk about this event that supports this incredible 00:13:24.330 --> 00:13:27.889 organization, right? So go ahead and tell us 00:13:27.889 --> 00:13:30.149 a little bit about it. And then we'll have the 00:13:30.149 --> 00:13:33.450 Grand Puba tell us a little more. I like that. 00:13:34.529 --> 00:13:36.809 I couldn't remember the actual name of the thing. 00:13:37.450 --> 00:13:40.769 The Grand Puba. Chair. Chair, OK. She's the honorary 00:13:40.769 --> 00:13:44.470 chair. I think she's the Grand Puba. I think 00:13:44.470 --> 00:13:47.799 we're going to change it to Grand Puba. Change 00:13:47.799 --> 00:13:49.080 your email footer. I'm just imagining you in 00:13:49.080 --> 00:13:50.919 a big hat and a cape and things. Well, I'll make 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:54.559 sure I get that out. Yeah. Absolutely. What is 00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:57.539 this event all about? So it's Taste of David's 00:13:57.539 --> 00:14:00.559 Refuge. So each year we have our biggest fundraiser 00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:04.059 and social event of the year. It is on June 13th 00:14:04.059 --> 00:14:07.639 this year at 530 at Heritage Hill Brewery in 00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:12.029 Pompey. And it is just a wonderful evening. It's 00:14:12.029 --> 00:14:14.750 like a celebration. So it's less formal, you 00:14:14.750 --> 00:14:17.789 know, dress comfortably, wear cowboy boots or 00:14:17.789 --> 00:14:20.250 like whatever makes you feel good, you know? 00:14:20.470 --> 00:14:25.049 Sure. It's not formal, so there aren't round 00:14:25.049 --> 00:14:27.049 tables set up where you're sitting for a formal 00:14:27.049 --> 00:14:30.269 program. It's like more of an evening to see 00:14:30.269 --> 00:14:32.610 and get a taste of what Davis Refuge is about. 00:14:32.730 --> 00:14:36.110 It's about being natural, being honest and open, 00:14:36.149 --> 00:14:39.950 being in your community, talking with other people, 00:14:40.250 --> 00:14:43.169 finding what's been going on in their lives and 00:14:43.169 --> 00:14:45.950 just deeply caring about each other. We have 00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:48.629 amazing supporters and sponsors who attend the 00:14:48.629 --> 00:14:51.899 event, but also we send care. every year. We 00:14:51.899 --> 00:14:55.539 have a few different sponsors that donated all 00:14:55.539 --> 00:14:58.419 their tickets back so that we could invite caregivers 00:14:58.419 --> 00:15:02.590 and let them have like a date night. It's just 00:15:02.590 --> 00:15:06.490 a really fun event. Dr. Carmen is our honorary 00:15:06.490 --> 00:15:09.230 chair this year. And we're really excited to 00:15:09.230 --> 00:15:12.350 just share a little bit about what she's done 00:15:12.350 --> 00:15:15.669 for the caregivers that David's Refuge serves 00:15:15.669 --> 00:15:19.370 and just all the things that she does for us. 00:15:19.409 --> 00:15:21.490 We just love her so much. I mean, she is the 00:15:21.490 --> 00:15:24.769 grand poobah. She is. What do you expect? The 00:15:24.769 --> 00:15:28.110 one and only. I still don't know what that means. 00:15:28.429 --> 00:15:30.769 It's not a bad thing. I've heard. What is it 00:15:30.769 --> 00:15:34.200 from? I feel like it's from the Flintstones or 00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:36.639 something. It's like a super dated... It's definitely 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:39.259 a pop culture reference. I knew what he meant. 00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.559 It's like the head of the Elks Lodge or something 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.559 like that. I suppose if you don't know what it 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:46.799 is, it might come across as an insult. Like, 00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:50.039 what did you just call me? I'm a what? No, he 00:15:50.039 --> 00:15:52.320 meant, well, it's a good thing. Alright, then 00:15:52.320 --> 00:15:53.779 it came with a crown, so I'll go with that. You 00:15:53.779 --> 00:15:57.120 got a crown. Oh, good. We have to make this happen 00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:59.000 now, I guess. Yeah, I mean, look. I know. I'll 00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:00.480 wear that. I'll find it. I'll figure out what 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:02.600 it is and I'll wear it. But I also just wanted 00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:05.259 to say, you know, when we come together like 00:16:05.259 --> 00:16:07.960 this, it may seem and it is a big party. It's 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:10.679 really fun. But if you really step back and you 00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:12.639 think about, you know, why is it so important? 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:14.759 You know, why should I spend a Friday night or 00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:18.179 why should I donate? Why should I go on to the 00:16:18.179 --> 00:16:20.100 there's a silent auction with some really great 00:16:20.100 --> 00:16:22.259 and incredible packages? I know even our practice 00:16:22.259 --> 00:16:24.840 is donating neurofeedback sessions. Wow. you 00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:27.590 know, package of neurofeedback sessions. It's 00:16:27.590 --> 00:16:30.529 also, I think, so critical to really think about 00:16:30.529 --> 00:16:34.529 what it actually means. So if you step out, zoom 00:16:34.529 --> 00:16:37.250 out, and maybe think about the process of what 00:16:37.250 --> 00:16:41.409 it would mean for parents, they have a child 00:16:41.409 --> 00:16:44.629 who is diagnosed with a severe disability or 00:16:44.629 --> 00:16:47.149 something incredibly medically complex. They 00:16:47.149 --> 00:16:49.750 may not know if their child will survive. They 00:16:49.750 --> 00:16:53.610 may not know what all this means, and will they 00:16:53.610 --> 00:16:55.830 be able to keep their job? How will they take 00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:58.570 care of their other? You know, I have two women 00:16:58.570 --> 00:17:01.070 in my practice who are David's Refuge moms, both 00:17:01.070 --> 00:17:03.470 with very different children who have different 00:17:03.470 --> 00:17:07.289 types of disabilities, but they are both incredibly 00:17:07.289 --> 00:17:10.650 powerful, strong, confident women who manage 00:17:10.650 --> 00:17:12.809 all of these things in their families. Not to 00:17:12.809 --> 00:17:14.670 mention the fact, like, they will never, you 00:17:14.670 --> 00:17:16.309 know, one, I was like, oh, my gosh, you must 00:17:16.309 --> 00:17:18.069 be so excited. You're gonna be empty nesters. 00:17:18.089 --> 00:17:20.420 She's like... I will never be an empty nester, 00:17:20.660 --> 00:17:22.500 Melissa." And I'm like, oh, gosh, right, that's 00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:24.160 right. The other one is like, you know, this 00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:27.359 is my life, and I am so happy that this is my 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:30.420 life, but before I got to this point, I had to 00:17:30.420 --> 00:17:32.079 think about, you know, how was I gonna make all 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:34.500 of these different pieces work with her daughter 00:17:34.500 --> 00:17:36.920 being in the hospital all the time, you know, 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:40.400 days on end and the ICU, and I mean, she'll call 00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:41.559 me and she's like, all right, I'm working from 00:17:41.559 --> 00:17:44.140 the hospital today. I'm like, are you sure? Is 00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:45.819 that okay with you? She's like, yep, this is 00:17:45.819 --> 00:17:48.900 what we do. And it helps to keep my... You know, 00:17:48.900 --> 00:17:50.880 I want to be distracted. This is how I cope. 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:54.019 And then when she gets out, it's like she has 00:17:54.019 --> 00:17:57.019 another child. Like, how all of these pieces 00:17:57.019 --> 00:17:59.759 work together. They're separate parents. You 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:01.980 know, one is in the hospital, one is at home, 00:18:02.259 --> 00:18:04.500 keeping their jobs, keeping all of these balls 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:07.619 afloat. So if there's anything we can do to support 00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:10.059 them to show up to say, hey, you're not alone, 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.240 we see you, we see the incredible things that 00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:16.160 you're doing for your family, and we've got you. 00:18:16.910 --> 00:18:19.490 I mean, I don't know if there's a God, that's 00:18:19.490 --> 00:18:21.089 a different discussion, but if there is, I mean, 00:18:21.210 --> 00:18:23.210 I feel like that's what you guys are doing. And 00:18:23.210 --> 00:18:25.609 I'm not exaggerating because as I've talked about 00:18:25.609 --> 00:18:28.289 on the show openly before, you know, I lost my 00:18:28.289 --> 00:18:30.029 brother to leukemia when he was three. I was 00:18:30.029 --> 00:18:32.329 like five or six. And that was a huge traumatic 00:18:32.329 --> 00:18:34.730 event for not only me, but my family. And now 00:18:34.730 --> 00:18:37.829 that I'm a dad and an adult, I almost found this 00:18:37.829 --> 00:18:39.990 like newfound respect for my parents because 00:18:39.990 --> 00:18:42.599 I'm like, how the hell? Yeah. Did you go through 00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:45.680 that? And there was no David's Refuge back, right? 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:49.160 There wasn't a lot of that. There wasn't much 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:52.059 for mental health back then. Exactly. And they 00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:54.019 put me in a little bit of counseling that I barely 00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:56.019 remember. And we had the Ronald McDonald House, 00:18:56.200 --> 00:18:58.579 which was fantastic. Shout out to them. But what 00:18:58.579 --> 00:19:01.119 you guys are doing is so important for the obvious 00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:03.740 reasons, but see. What we're not thinking about 00:19:03.740 --> 00:19:05.960 is what you just said, which is, yeah, there's 00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:08.140 the whole mourning part of it, right? You're 00:19:08.140 --> 00:19:10.380 mourning about the loss or the sickness of a 00:19:10.380 --> 00:19:13.190 child and the uncertainty and... But on top of 00:19:13.190 --> 00:19:15.210 it, what about the day -to -day? How do I manage 00:19:15.210 --> 00:19:17.970 my career? How do I take care of my other children, 00:19:18.049 --> 00:19:19.230 and how do I take care of myself? It's still 00:19:19.230 --> 00:19:22.210 regular life, yeah. Yeah, it's so huge. And then 00:19:22.210 --> 00:19:24.250 your marriage. Your marriage, right. Like legal 00:19:24.250 --> 00:19:26.089 things, financial things, educational things. 00:19:26.269 --> 00:19:28.069 There's so many. Everything. So, I mean, I'm 00:19:28.069 --> 00:19:30.829 so honored to be the chair alongside my husband, 00:19:30.990 --> 00:19:35.289 Jeff, but we are a small, you know, representation 00:19:35.289 --> 00:19:37.750 of all of the incredible supports that David's 00:19:37.750 --> 00:19:40.349 Refuge has... put together to really support 00:19:40.349 --> 00:19:43.049 the families. We've got nutritionists, legal 00:19:43.049 --> 00:19:47.210 consults, educational consults, holistic medical 00:19:47.210 --> 00:19:51.829 people. We've got a sound healer. Whatever the 00:19:51.829 --> 00:19:55.410 families of David's Refuge needs, they have resources 00:19:55.410 --> 00:19:57.470 for because they've recognized they can't do 00:19:57.470 --> 00:20:00.410 it all themselves. But what they can do is create 00:20:00.410 --> 00:20:03.150 all of these ripple effects of people in this 00:20:03.150 --> 00:20:05.890 community. And the more we come together and 00:20:05.890 --> 00:20:07.890 really show them that we've got not just the 00:20:07.849 --> 00:20:11.509 but them, the better off, you know, everybody 00:20:11.509 --> 00:20:14.950 else. And that furthers my point I said the other 00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:17.390 day, which is, you know, with all the divisiveness 00:20:17.390 --> 00:20:20.230 in this world, especially this country, people 00:20:20.230 --> 00:20:23.150 need people. People need people, and we always 00:20:23.150 --> 00:20:26.349 will. And you guys are a shining example of that. 00:20:26.890 --> 00:20:29.829 To help other people, you can't even do it on 00:20:29.829 --> 00:20:31.710 your own. You have a whole army of people. We 00:20:31.710 --> 00:20:34.109 all need each other, and we can't lose sight 00:20:34.109 --> 00:20:37.609 of that, you know? Diane can you tell us folks 00:20:37.609 --> 00:20:39.630 that want to attend the event or if they can't 00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:41.369 they just want to support the organization? What's 00:20:41.369 --> 00:20:43.829 the best way to do that? Our website is great. 00:20:44.069 --> 00:20:48.099 It's davidsrefuge .org Right now we have a pop 00:20:48.099 --> 00:20:50.200 -up. So if you visit our website, it'll go right 00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:52.960 to the Taste of David's Refuge page. Perfect. 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.079 And you could purchase tickets or sponsorships 00:20:55.079 --> 00:20:58.400 there. If you X out of that little box, you can 00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:00.940 go and see what are all the services we offer. 00:21:01.059 --> 00:21:03.359 You can find the caregiver application there. 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.099 So it's really a one -stop shop. But of course 00:21:06.099 --> 00:21:08.380 you could reach out to us, you know, phone or 00:21:08.380 --> 00:21:11.680 email as well. I'm happy to share the contact 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:13.559 and reach out to us. And then we're getting a 00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:15.759 little ahead of ourselves, but you've got a couple 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:17.900 other major fundraisers throughout the year that 00:21:17.900 --> 00:21:20.339 folks couldn't think about, too, right? We do. 00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.019 This weekend, actually, we'll be at Taste of 00:21:23.019 --> 00:21:25.980 Syracuse. Awesome. So we're really excited about 00:21:25.980 --> 00:21:29.759 that. They could visit us at the TOPS or Visions 00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:35.400 Federal Credit Union. Gotcha. And then the 21st, 00:21:35.420 --> 00:21:38.369 we're having an event at Milton Cat. It's a first 00:21:38.369 --> 00:21:41.390 of its kind, a touch a truck fundraiser. That's 00:21:41.390 --> 00:21:44.410 cool. Yes. So it's completely open and accessible 00:21:44.410 --> 00:21:47.569 to families free of charge. So if you'd like 00:21:47.569 --> 00:21:50.069 to, if you have a young one or if you're an adult 00:21:50.069 --> 00:21:52.430 like me that just likes big trucks, you could 00:21:52.430 --> 00:21:54.190 come check them out. They're cool. I don't care 00:21:54.190 --> 00:21:56.650 what anybody says. I take my son to an event 00:21:56.650 --> 00:21:58.710 down near the Binghamton area every year, truck 00:21:58.710 --> 00:22:01.559 day. And you get to like, they just line all 00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:03.680 these, you know, bucket trucks, fire trucks. 00:22:03.740 --> 00:22:05.880 You get in and you hit the sirens. What a great 00:22:05.880 --> 00:22:07.839 event. And I have more fun than my son does and 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:10.240 he's six. It's great. And then if you like to 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:14.890 golf. Yeah. June 29th and 30th. It's a Sunday 00:22:14.890 --> 00:22:20.130 Monday. We are partnered with NFL Alumni Association's 00:22:20.130 --> 00:22:22.529 Upstate New York chapter. Wow. This is their 00:22:22.529 --> 00:22:25.710 second annual golf tournament. And David's Refuge 00:22:25.710 --> 00:22:28.589 will be one of the charities that is a recipient 00:22:28.589 --> 00:22:31.509 of the funds raised. That's pretty cool. Matt, 00:22:31.650 --> 00:22:33.730 you can break in your six bags of golf clubs. 00:22:34.569 --> 00:22:35.809 That's a different story. I'm not ready yet. 00:22:37.029 --> 00:22:40.250 That's phenomenal. I don't know if this is a 00:22:40.250 --> 00:22:41.829 weird question, but I think it's important. So 00:22:41.829 --> 00:22:43.890 let's say someone's listening right now or watching 00:22:43.890 --> 00:22:46.250 and they're very intrigued by David's Refuge. 00:22:46.569 --> 00:22:49.569 I don't want to say who qualifies, but if someone 00:22:49.569 --> 00:22:53.079 was curious about David's Refuge What is your 00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:56.880 clientele? Who is your clientele generally? So 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:59.859 if you're a caregiver of a child with special 00:22:59.859 --> 00:23:02.240 needs or life -threatening medical conditions 00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:04.559 and you live in the state of New York, you qualify. 00:23:04.779 --> 00:23:08.460 We do not have any limitations on age and it 00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:11.079 could also be like a family member. It doesn't 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:13.480 necessarily have to be a parent. As long as you 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:17.579 are the caregiver, you qualify. So you can go 00:23:17.579 --> 00:23:19.440 on our website, though. There's a little bit 00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:22.460 more information about a few little specifics. 00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:25.339 So if you're interested, you could find out there. 00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:27.880 That is awesome. And then before we get out of 00:23:27.880 --> 00:23:30.160 here, Dr. Melissa, can you just take a couple 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:31.460 of minutes and tell us just a little bit more 00:23:31.460 --> 00:23:35.279 about your practice, what you do? for not David's 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:39.180 Refuge. And are you accepting patients and things 00:23:39.180 --> 00:23:41.839 of that nature? Yeah, absolutely. So similar 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:43.740 to David's Refuge, we work with people throughout 00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:46.259 New York State, so our license limits us to that. 00:23:46.259 --> 00:23:51.059 Gotcha. And we have an incredible team of 10, 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:55.049 soon to be 14. We're growing fast. Awesome. One 00:23:55.049 --> 00:23:56.890 of the interesting things, like I didn't intend 00:23:56.890 --> 00:23:59.690 ever to really have a group practice, but the 00:23:59.690 --> 00:24:01.750 need of the community, the way that we're doing 00:24:01.750 --> 00:24:05.089 things is to really listen. And that's the response. 00:24:05.170 --> 00:24:07.410 Gotcha. The community, they just want more. And 00:24:07.410 --> 00:24:10.450 so. One of the things that we do is to partner, 00:24:10.809 --> 00:24:12.829 like David's Refuge, we partner with school districts, 00:24:12.990 --> 00:24:15.170 we partner with private companies, we partner 00:24:15.170 --> 00:24:17.170 with, we've got a partnership with Upstate, lots 00:24:17.170 --> 00:24:20.009 of different ways to make it more accessible. 00:24:21.410 --> 00:24:23.410 So companies are doing subsidized counseling, 00:24:23.589 --> 00:24:25.809 and we use a multi -tiered systems of support 00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:29.490 model so that we do wellness and outreach programming 00:24:29.490 --> 00:24:32.710 combined with small group. processing, crisis 00:24:32.710 --> 00:24:38.009 response, small groups, focus groups. For example, 00:24:38.289 --> 00:24:41.170 one of my personal favorite things is to do family 00:24:41.170 --> 00:24:45.130 counseling with companies and executive teams. 00:24:45.289 --> 00:24:48.990 Really? If you think about it. That's wild. We're 00:24:48.990 --> 00:24:52.450 family here. How many times do you hear that? 00:24:52.710 --> 00:24:55.349 OK, there is a lot of dysfunction in a lot of 00:24:55.349 --> 00:24:57.269 families and in a lot of companies, especially 00:24:57.269 --> 00:24:59.970 when you think about as long as the parents are 00:24:59.970 --> 00:25:02.109 getting along. than they can model things for 00:25:02.109 --> 00:25:04.609 the kids. 100%. This is brilliant. Thank you. 00:25:04.809 --> 00:25:07.289 No, I mean, like, that's really cut. No, you 00:25:07.289 --> 00:25:09.250 are the grand pooper. No, that is brilliant. 00:25:09.349 --> 00:25:11.390 I've never thought of that concept of taking 00:25:11.390 --> 00:25:13.930 the model of family therapy and applying it to 00:25:13.930 --> 00:25:16.210 the workplace because, I mean, every day. I see 00:25:16.210 --> 00:25:17.730 it all the time. You see it all the time. Like, 00:25:17.730 --> 00:25:19.890 hey, my boss, I hate this coworker, right? You 00:25:19.890 --> 00:25:22.309 know? Or co -owners, co -founders. So that's 00:25:22.309 --> 00:25:24.509 more of what I do. And the bread and butter of 00:25:24.509 --> 00:25:26.529 the practice is really, you know, anybody who 00:25:26.529 --> 00:25:31.299 calls. You know, so it's we see, I mean, I couldn't 00:25:31.299 --> 00:25:32.539 tell you the numbers off the top of my head. 00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:35.039 We've grown real fast. And so we've got two locations 00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:37.619 on the east side of town, you know, Manlius and 00:25:37.619 --> 00:25:39.740 Fayetteville. We do virtual throughout all of 00:25:39.740 --> 00:25:43.359 New York state. So what percentage kind of comes 00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:46.630 in versus the virtual? Most people want to be 00:25:46.630 --> 00:25:50.009 in person at this point. And so that's one of 00:25:50.009 --> 00:25:52.009 the things is that it's, I think post -COVID 00:25:52.009 --> 00:25:55.509 world, it's a different energy. Different demographics 00:25:55.509 --> 00:25:57.109 are different though. Like our college students, 00:25:57.130 --> 00:26:00.130 for example, they may be two blocks away and 00:26:00.130 --> 00:26:02.430 they don't wanna come in. Or our David's Refuge 00:26:02.430 --> 00:26:04.710 families, they can't get out of the house necessarily. 00:26:04.710 --> 00:26:07.150 So there's an accessibility issue. Again, like 00:26:07.150 --> 00:26:09.910 I'm just trying to meet it on all fronts. But 00:26:09.910 --> 00:26:12.029 yeah, it's really with the executive stuff, I 00:26:12.029 --> 00:26:13.990 mean, that's actually like sort of a sidestep 00:26:13.990 --> 00:26:17.160 business. for me, but I go in, you know, and 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:19.519 I go into the companies and I do a lot of more 00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:21.140 intensive trainings. It's like, I'll come to 00:26:21.140 --> 00:26:23.119 your house. Just from a business standpoint, 00:26:23.500 --> 00:26:26.150 like that's... That sounds like absolute gold. 00:26:26.650 --> 00:26:28.630 It really is. You got something going there, 00:26:28.650 --> 00:26:30.549 that's for sure. But again, it's finding the 00:26:30.549 --> 00:26:33.210 gaps. Wait a sec, I could help here, maybe, I'll 00:26:33.210 --> 00:26:36.690 try, I don't know, but I'll try. I love this. 00:26:36.769 --> 00:26:38.890 You got a doctor and an entrepreneur in one person. 00:26:39.269 --> 00:26:41.910 It's crazy. That's the recipe for success, I'm 00:26:41.910 --> 00:26:44.190 telling you. I have like one or two more questions, 00:26:44.410 --> 00:26:47.849 if that's alright. Wanted to I just thought for 00:26:47.849 --> 00:26:50.829 those listening your quota or what I know for 00:26:50.829 --> 00:26:52.849 those listening or watching I think this is important 00:26:52.849 --> 00:26:55.589 to ask to both of you if you'd like to answer 00:26:55.589 --> 00:26:58.109 is what do you think one of the biggest misconceptions 00:26:58.109 --> 00:27:01.009 about? Mental health and therapy is other than 00:27:01.009 --> 00:27:03.509 you know the the macho guys that are like oh 00:27:03.509 --> 00:27:05.509 can't talk about Mike We know that that's a miss 00:27:05.509 --> 00:27:07.710 is there anything that you can think of that's 00:27:07.710 --> 00:27:11.089 another misconception that you could maybe dispel 00:27:11.309 --> 00:27:14.049 I would say, to me, one of the biggest ones that 00:27:14.049 --> 00:27:16.369 keeps coming up lately for me, which just rings 00:27:16.369 --> 00:27:20.809 loud, is the insight alone. doesn't heal people. 00:27:21.210 --> 00:27:24.069 So like you can talk about things, you can read 00:27:24.069 --> 00:27:26.789 things, you can go to therapy with somebody who's 00:27:26.789 --> 00:27:28.990 going to help you really understand your issues, 00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:32.089 or you can even, you know, retell your story. 00:27:32.549 --> 00:27:35.950 But therapy at this point, and a lot of it is 00:27:35.950 --> 00:27:38.549 due to, you know, enhanced brain imaging, and 00:27:38.549 --> 00:27:40.890 we now know more about how the brain works. But 00:27:40.890 --> 00:27:44.289 it's a lot more about implicit memory and like 00:27:44.289 --> 00:27:47.769 what we hold on to energetically from our traumas 00:27:47.769 --> 00:27:49.950 that we all have I'd say that would be number 00:27:49.950 --> 00:27:52.630 two is that everyone has a certain element of 00:27:52.630 --> 00:27:56.130 trauma that they hold on to and it could be as 00:27:56.130 --> 00:27:58.369 simple as like a comment that you just remember 00:27:58.369 --> 00:28:00.730 that somebody made to you that just echoes in 00:28:00.730 --> 00:28:03.230 your head and it kind of creates like this anchor 00:28:03.230 --> 00:28:06.349 point for you and the more you recognize and 00:28:06.349 --> 00:28:08.750 sort of tease that apart and have that therapeutic 00:28:08.750 --> 00:28:10.990 relationship where you can feel safe enough to 00:28:10.990 --> 00:28:14.779 resolve it and that therapist knows how to do 00:28:14.779 --> 00:28:17.160 that energetic work where they really are healing, 00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:20.980 and it's a different kind of therapy. That's 00:28:20.980 --> 00:28:25.220 awesome. That's a great answer. Yeah. Perfect. 00:28:25.579 --> 00:28:28.920 I mean, those are great examples. There's a lot 00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:31.079 of misconceptions out there, and that's part 00:28:31.079 --> 00:28:33.519 of the... You know, my mission is like, you know, 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:35.359 we have more people involved in mental health 00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:38.220 on here is to kind of get rid of those, you know, 00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:41.299 you know, if we can help one person listening 00:28:41.299 --> 00:28:43.980 or watching, you know, it's a success. And what 00:28:43.980 --> 00:28:46.140 you guys do is amazing. Now they're the last 00:28:46.140 --> 00:28:47.700 question I have is that there are a lot of different. 00:28:47.859 --> 00:28:49.799 So back in the day, it was like talk therapy. 00:28:50.279 --> 00:28:53.180 Now, if you research, there's there's cognitive 00:28:53.180 --> 00:28:55.680 behavioral therapy. That's the most common CBT 00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:58.059 EMDR, which you and I talked about off the air. 00:28:58.380 --> 00:29:02.920 What are some of the newer things that you guys 00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:05.420 are seeing or experiencing that are out there 00:29:05.420 --> 00:29:09.380 and yeah, what do you think about that? Do folks 00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:12.640 get a glossary when they come in just to decode 00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:16.069 everything? They should be. Well, so I think 00:29:16.069 --> 00:29:19.369 a lot of therapists now do an integrated model. 00:29:19.450 --> 00:29:22.349 So it's not a one size fits all approach. And 00:29:22.349 --> 00:29:24.450 you may have therapists who specialize in a certain 00:29:24.450 --> 00:29:28.250 modality. So I'm like a big internal family systems 00:29:28.250 --> 00:29:31.230 advocate. And that is, you know, it's parts work. 00:29:31.410 --> 00:29:32.910 It's saying like a part of me wants to get better, 00:29:32.950 --> 00:29:34.849 but a part of me doesn't. And it's this idea 00:29:34.849 --> 00:29:37.970 that all of that is protective. And so it's understanding 00:29:37.970 --> 00:29:40.109 what your parts are and then what wounds they 00:29:40.109 --> 00:29:42.390 are really trying to protect you from feeling. 00:29:42.769 --> 00:29:46.240 So it's that. It's all integrative. So like you 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:48.829 said, cognitive behavioral therapy. One of the 00:29:48.829 --> 00:29:51.190 reasons that that has become the most popular 00:29:51.190 --> 00:29:54.069 is because it was manualized so they could research 00:29:54.069 --> 00:29:58.210 it. So it's hard to really know what is the most 00:29:58.210 --> 00:30:01.589 effective ingredient in therapy. Again, it comes 00:30:01.589 --> 00:30:03.049 back to the relationship. I think they've been 00:30:03.049 --> 00:30:05.809 able to figure that out. But like modalities, 00:30:05.829 --> 00:30:10.309 as far as like brain rewiring or like EMDR, a 00:30:10.309 --> 00:30:12.890 lot of the somatic approaches now because it 00:30:12.890 --> 00:30:16.190 does shift the energy are what is being found 00:30:16.190 --> 00:30:19.210 to be the most effective way. healing, because 00:30:19.210 --> 00:30:22.089 without, again, just doing the insight -oriented, 00:30:22.589 --> 00:30:24.970 it doesn't change long -term. You still hold 00:30:24.970 --> 00:30:27.130 this, like, you know, the pit in your stomach, 00:30:27.849 --> 00:30:29.670 right, or like that dread that you sense, and 00:30:29.670 --> 00:30:31.730 it may come out of the blue. Grief is a good 00:30:31.730 --> 00:30:34.650 example of that. It just stays until you can 00:30:34.650 --> 00:30:37.609 really truly resolve and heal it. So, neurofeedback, 00:30:37.609 --> 00:30:41.990 I mentioned, is technologically assisted therapy. 00:30:42.309 --> 00:30:45.029 So, the easiest way to describe it is that it's 00:30:45.029 --> 00:30:48.130 physical therapy for your brain. Wow. I just 00:30:48.130 --> 00:30:50.609 did this light therapy thing the other night 00:30:50.609 --> 00:30:53.150 on this app which I don't recommend because you 00:30:53.150 --> 00:30:55.569 don't you know I don't recommend just downloading 00:30:55.569 --> 00:30:58.009 apps and trust you know but I read the reviews 00:30:58.009 --> 00:31:01.130 and I did this light therapy and it was one of 00:31:01.130 --> 00:31:04.430 the most from my phone with the flashlight the 00:31:04.430 --> 00:31:06.819 way they have it vibrating and doing And I went 00:31:06.819 --> 00:31:08.859 through this entire journey before I went to 00:31:08.859 --> 00:31:10.440 bed with headphones on. And it was one of the 00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:12.660 most incredible experiences I've ever, and I 00:31:12.660 --> 00:31:14.140 text my sister who's a therapist and I said, 00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:15.900 I know this is weird because it's an app, but 00:31:15.900 --> 00:31:19.059 I think it's really doing something. And so that's 00:31:19.059 --> 00:31:21.339 what inspired me to ask the question of, you 00:31:21.339 --> 00:31:23.299 know, there seems to be a lot out there. And 00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:25.380 how do you stay up on that? You guys, you go 00:31:25.380 --> 00:31:26.759 to conferences and things like that. I mean, 00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:28.559 because I feel like it's evolving a lot. Just 00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:31.420 got back from a six day trauma research foundation 00:31:31.420 --> 00:31:35.299 conference in Boston. Wow. That sounds exciting. 00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:37.640 Yeah, it was. Dramatic. No, I think they called 00:31:37.640 --> 00:31:40.579 it TraumaCon. Wow. All right. That's a great 00:31:40.579 --> 00:31:42.940 name. Yeah, that is pretty great. It was awesome. 00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:46.180 Again, to your point, I get excited about this 00:31:46.180 --> 00:31:50.079 stuff. It's very passionate. It was incredible. 00:31:50.420 --> 00:31:52.099 Well, because when you're going through something, 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:56.480 I can speak from experience. When you are going 00:31:56.480 --> 00:31:58.519 through something traumatic and you can't control 00:31:58.519 --> 00:32:00.740 your feelings or your emotions or you're scared, 00:32:00.859 --> 00:32:02.279 you feel like you're dying, whatever you're going 00:32:02.279 --> 00:32:07.279 through, any beacon of hope that you can grab 00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:13.170 onto feels like the greatest win. when you come 00:32:13.170 --> 00:32:15.130 on and talk about what you guys are doing, maybe 00:32:15.130 --> 00:32:16.990 someone's listening and they feel that. I think 00:32:16.990 --> 00:32:19.549 that's why you're so passionate about it, because 00:32:19.549 --> 00:32:22.029 it is really a lifelong journey of getting better 00:32:22.029 --> 00:32:25.430 and figuring it out and just feeling good. And 00:32:25.430 --> 00:32:27.950 so you give people hope when you talk about that. 00:32:28.029 --> 00:32:30.730 And I love it. And I thank you so much. Good 00:32:30.730 --> 00:32:33.750 people. I think having hope is one of the things 00:32:33.750 --> 00:32:36.569 that every single human needs. Yes. It's because 00:32:36.569 --> 00:32:40.950 when you lose hope, you feel alone, right? And 00:32:40.950 --> 00:32:44.210 so one of, from my experience, and this one is 00:32:44.210 --> 00:32:47.990 so general, but it was just coming to me, and 00:32:47.990 --> 00:32:50.789 I think one of the biggest misconceptions about 00:32:50.789 --> 00:32:53.569 counseling is that it's for someone else. So 00:32:53.569 --> 00:32:58.549 when you have that idea that it's not for me, 00:32:58.849 --> 00:33:01.029 you know, I don't need this, I can just get through 00:33:01.029 --> 00:33:05.930 it on my own. I think every single human experiences 00:33:05.930 --> 00:33:10.569 fear, anxiety, trauma. Sure, couldn't agree more. 00:33:10.589 --> 00:33:12.890 One of those things hits, right? And it's not 00:33:12.890 --> 00:33:15.730 a matter of if it's going to hit, it's when. 00:33:15.769 --> 00:33:19.690 Yeah. And when you get to a point where you feel 00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:22.950 alone because you can't talk about it or you 00:33:22.950 --> 00:33:24.869 don't think someone understands, even if it's 00:33:24.869 --> 00:33:27.349 just your spouse, you know, maybe you just don't 00:33:27.349 --> 00:33:30.579 have time to talk about it. but it's that when 00:33:30.579 --> 00:33:35.079 you feel alone, that's your darkest moment. So 00:33:35.079 --> 00:33:39.000 knowing that there are people to support you, 00:33:39.259 --> 00:33:43.099 these resources exist, and you can get them. 00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:45.819 Just even talking to someone that you can trust 00:33:45.819 --> 00:33:48.920 is just a first step. 100%. And Diana, you're 00:33:48.920 --> 00:33:51.240 so right, because when someone's like, ah, therapy's 00:33:51.240 --> 00:33:53.480 not for me, I would never. you know, make someone 00:33:53.480 --> 00:33:55.380 feel bad for that. I keep my mouth shut, but 00:33:55.380 --> 00:33:57.579 I'm thinking, that's like saying, eh, I'm not 00:33:57.579 --> 00:33:59.740 into showers. You know, like everybody needs 00:33:59.740 --> 00:34:02.839 a shower at some point, right? Danny. No, I'm 00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:05.960 kidding. No, but it, no. But you know what I 00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:08.579 mean? It's, it's, and please, I'm not insulting 00:34:08.579 --> 00:34:10.699 people that don't, that aren't comfortable with 00:34:10.699 --> 00:34:11.860 therapy, and that's fine. People that don't shower? 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.860 Well, that too. But don't, you know, don't say 00:34:14.860 --> 00:34:16.900 that it's not for you. And, you know, maybe, 00:34:16.980 --> 00:34:18.559 maybe you're choosing not to go and that's okay, 00:34:18.599 --> 00:34:21.840 but. everybody can benefit from therapy. And 00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:25.360 it's just a matter of some people feel these 00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:27.639 things more than others. You know, some might 00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:31.500 feel fear and despair and a little bit bigger 00:34:31.500 --> 00:34:34.159 and harder than somebody else. But like you said, 00:34:34.820 --> 00:34:36.300 someone else is going to feel that same thing 00:34:36.300 --> 00:34:39.300 even if it's just a little bit. So I think everybody 00:34:39.300 --> 00:34:41.800 should go to therapy. Everybody should go. Is 00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:44.440 that your position? It was unclear. No, it is. 00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:46.559 Everybody should go to therapy. We'd all be better 00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:49.900 off. Like I joke, I'm like, I'm a lifer. Yeah, 00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:51.239 sure. I'll go forever. Me too. It doesn't mean 00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:54.039 that I need to. There are different times in 00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:57.099 my life when I've needed to, but I just think 00:34:57.099 --> 00:35:00.309 that it... what I get out of it, it always is 00:35:00.309 --> 00:35:02.389 validating. I'm like, ah, shoot, I did need to 00:35:02.389 --> 00:35:04.070 come today. Well, that's awesome. And if you 00:35:04.070 --> 00:35:06.170 spend five minutes on Facebook, you realize everybody 00:35:06.170 --> 00:35:09.130 needs therapy. We all need to go to therapy. 00:35:09.170 --> 00:35:11.309 And I think it's just about being open to it 00:35:11.309 --> 00:35:14.329 even, like being curious about yourself. That's 00:35:14.329 --> 00:35:16.469 a big thing. Like everybody wants to learn, right? 00:35:16.489 --> 00:35:18.349 So it's just a learning experience. It's like, 00:35:18.349 --> 00:35:21.110 why am I feeling this way? And then you might 00:35:21.110 --> 00:35:23.750 talk to someone and then understand, oh my gosh, 00:35:23.809 --> 00:35:26.210 that's where that came from. That's something 00:35:26.210 --> 00:35:28.710 I wasn't even thinking. That's it. That's the 00:35:28.710 --> 00:35:31.230 hook. It's like unlocking a key, a door, you 00:35:31.230 --> 00:35:33.489 know? I'll never forget those moments in therapy, 00:35:33.730 --> 00:35:36.610 and it might be between days, between weeks, 00:35:36.769 --> 00:35:39.130 between months, but there's that oh shit, oh 00:35:39.130 --> 00:35:41.570 my god moment that you have, where you realize 00:35:41.570 --> 00:35:44.269 something about yourself, or you resolve an issue, 00:35:44.469 --> 00:35:47.789 and that's the beauty of therapy. You guys give 00:35:47.789 --> 00:35:50.010 the tools, and it's up to us to use those tools 00:35:50.010 --> 00:35:52.150 out in the real world, but there is a lot that 00:35:52.150 --> 00:35:55.550 can be... done in office, the breakthroughs do 00:35:55.550 --> 00:35:59.210 happen, and it's just, it's awesome. Yeah. Ladies, 00:35:59.230 --> 00:36:01.889 this has been incredible. This has. We're really, 00:36:01.889 --> 00:36:05.750 really excited for the event coming up, the Taste 00:36:05.750 --> 00:36:07.650 event. My wife and I will be there. We're very 00:36:07.650 --> 00:36:11.309 excited about that. Growth Mode Tech is a sponsor 00:36:11.309 --> 00:36:13.769 of that, and we've been a big supporter of David's 00:36:13.769 --> 00:36:15.429 Refuge for a long time, and will continue to 00:36:15.429 --> 00:36:18.269 be for all the reasons that we've talked about 00:36:18.269 --> 00:36:22.860 here. So anytime... The door is open to either 00:36:22.860 --> 00:36:25.500 one of you and the entire organization wants 00:36:25.500 --> 00:36:27.139 to talk about anything you got going on, because 00:36:27.139 --> 00:36:29.900 it's fun stuff too, you know? And that's what 00:36:29.900 --> 00:36:32.639 we do here at Good News York is share that good 00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:35.139 news. And it can be a little sad the position 00:36:35.139 --> 00:36:37.440 that folks are in, but I think the other side 00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:40.059 is folks helping them is the best story, so. 00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:43.320 We're really happy to have you. Thanks for being 00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:45.460 such advocates for us. Of course. Absolutely. 00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:47.840 Absolutely. And one more time, if you guys want 00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:50.059 to give out any websites or event dates, please 00:36:50.059 --> 00:36:52.480 go. Let's make sure we plug those one more time. 00:36:52.659 --> 00:36:55.599 Sure. So Taste of David's Refuge is June 13th. 00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:59.199 It's a Friday from 5 .30 to 9. So we wrap up 00:36:59.199 --> 00:37:02.139 right after sunset. You can find tickets on our 00:37:02.139 --> 00:37:06.360 website at davidsrefuge .org. And we'd love to 00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:09.320 have you there. Awesome. That's great. And we 00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:11.460 are CNY Mental Health Counseling, so our website 00:37:11.460 --> 00:37:15.280 cnymhc .com, or you can find me at drmelissacarmon 00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:18.440 .com. It's C -A -R -M -A -N. Nice. Awesome. Thank 00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:21.119 you. I love it. Ladies, thank you again for joining 00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:23.039 us. This is phenomenal. We really, really appreciate 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:26.300 it. And we will see you at the event here. Yeah. 00:37:26.500 --> 00:37:29.000 And we'll be back. Good News York, sponsored 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:32.739 by... Ads on the Go. Ads on the Go. Get ads on 00:37:32.739 --> 00:37:34.239 the go .com. That's it.