WEBVTT 00:00:08.870 --> 00:00:11.789 Hello, good morning and welcome to Good News 00:00:11.789 --> 00:00:15.730 York. My favorite part, my favorite day of Good 00:00:15.730 --> 00:00:17.769 News York, Thursday, because it's our last day 00:00:17.769 --> 00:00:21.089 and the weekend is coming. I am extra excited 00:00:21.089 --> 00:00:24.829 because it is draft day, obviously. I did the 00:00:24.829 --> 00:00:26.289 draft special yesterday. If you haven't seen 00:00:26.289 --> 00:00:28.530 it, check it out. GoodNewsYork .com. It's where 00:00:28.530 --> 00:00:32.350 all our episodes are. I'm a big draft dork, so 00:00:32.350 --> 00:00:35.030 very excited about tonight. But I'm even more 00:00:35.030 --> 00:00:37.969 excited because I am joined today by some very, 00:00:37.969 --> 00:00:41.829 very, very special guests. One being my best 00:00:41.829 --> 00:00:45.810 friend and former, well, still bandmate, Darrell 00:00:45.810 --> 00:00:50.210 Harrington of Be Kind. And he has also joined 00:00:50.210 --> 00:00:53.450 along with Sandra Sorensen from NAMI Finger Lakes 00:00:53.450 --> 00:00:57.369 and Samantha Shoemaker from Free Hugs Ithaca. 00:00:58.030 --> 00:01:00.549 And I am so glad you guys are here. Thank you 00:01:00.549 --> 00:01:02.630 so much for coming. Thanks for having us. Well, 00:01:02.630 --> 00:01:05.799 of course. Well, not you. But Darryl and I, I 00:01:05.799 --> 00:01:07.500 mean, Darryl, when I, you know, you use that 00:01:07.500 --> 00:01:09.180 term loosely, like, oh, they're like a brother, 00:01:09.260 --> 00:01:10.920 they're like a sister. He really is like a brother. 00:01:10.939 --> 00:01:12.620 I mean, when you play in a band with somebody, 00:01:12.859 --> 00:01:15.379 it's a, it's a different experience, different 00:01:15.379 --> 00:01:17.819 bond. It is. You know, that it lasts forever. 00:01:18.019 --> 00:01:19.700 And then we also hang out, which we're going 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:22.280 to talk about the Metallica show in Q's at the 00:01:22.280 --> 00:01:25.239 Dome before the end of this episode. We went 00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:27.599 together, so we'll talk about that. But let's 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:30.879 talk about you guys and why you're here. First 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:33.859 of all, I thought it was hilarious that the irony 00:01:33.859 --> 00:01:39.519 of you walked in, Samantha, wearing your Free 00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:42.480 Hugs Ithaca shirt. She introduces herself and 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:45.099 I shake her hand. And then like 30 seconds went 00:01:45.099 --> 00:01:47.879 by, I was like, why didn't I hug you? That's 00:01:47.879 --> 00:01:52.260 the dumbest thing I could have done. But welcome. 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:56.859 So Darryl, let's talk about first... be kind 00:01:56.859 --> 00:02:00.140 and how this started because I mean, I know how 00:02:00.140 --> 00:02:03.579 it started. I witnessed it. And it's just pretty 00:02:03.579 --> 00:02:05.420 amazing from my point of view as your friend 00:02:05.420 --> 00:02:09.500 to watch what it's become. And as you can see 00:02:09.500 --> 00:02:13.139 here, I'll hold these up. Those are our new window 00:02:13.139 --> 00:02:15.500 clings. Window clings. That portion goes to Nami. 00:02:15.900 --> 00:02:18.439 So yeah, Daryl. So let's talk about, let's go 00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:20.840 back to how you came about with the idea and 00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:24.120 how it started. So we're, shut down just happened 00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:29.009 and You know my wife well. I do. My wife's very 00:02:29.009 --> 00:02:31.469 solid, not much rattles her. She's got a funny 00:02:31.469 --> 00:02:35.129 little horn, apparently. They had a truck to 00:02:35.129 --> 00:02:38.270 track the trailer. There it is. Yep. And so anyways, 00:02:38.909 --> 00:02:42.509 we were, and at this point, I was in therapy 00:02:42.509 --> 00:02:46.789 for stuff which we'll get into. Sure. So I had 00:02:46.789 --> 00:02:48.810 different tools in the box from calm and down, 00:02:49.030 --> 00:02:51.849 but she got really stressed from the whole shutdown 00:02:51.849 --> 00:02:54.370 and she ran through a light. It was two, actually. 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:59.120 I was like, okay, switch, and we got home, did 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:03.159 some breathing stuff, and when I got home, throughout 00:03:03.159 --> 00:03:05.659 the next day or so, I was like, man, there's 00:03:05.659 --> 00:03:08.039 gotta be a lot of people freaking out, like a 00:03:08.039 --> 00:03:10.300 lot, which there was. And there were. I was like, 00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:13.159 I wanna do something, I wanna say something, 00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:15.439 but I was like, I'm not doing it on social media. 00:03:16.099 --> 00:03:19.580 I mean, it depends. You never know what you're 00:03:19.580 --> 00:03:22.219 gonna get. You could post the nicest thing on 00:03:22.219 --> 00:03:23.939 social media, and someone's like, go to hell. 00:03:25.399 --> 00:03:27.960 So anyways, I was like, you know, lots of wood. 00:03:27.979 --> 00:03:30.280 I do woodworking and stuff, so I was like, I'm 00:03:30.280 --> 00:03:32.840 gonna make a huge heart and hang it on my fence. 00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:35.060 We live on this busy corner. I don't know what 00:03:35.060 --> 00:03:37.659 I'm gonna put on it. And I was like, okay, well, 00:03:37.780 --> 00:03:39.840 you know, kindness or be sweet or, you know, 00:03:40.039 --> 00:03:41.780 love or, you know, something. I was like, well, 00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:44.020 be kind. It's simple. I didn't know what I was 00:03:44.020 --> 00:03:46.340 doing. I made this huge heart. I took, because 00:03:46.340 --> 00:03:48.020 we got all the time in the world, I took Christmas 00:03:48.020 --> 00:03:49.919 lights and took every other ball ball and put 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:51.780 a red and white one, red and white one around 00:03:51.780 --> 00:03:56.039 the whole thing. And then put a big spotlight 00:03:56.039 --> 00:03:59.199 on it, and I was like if one person drives by 00:03:59.199 --> 00:04:02.379 and it helps them decompress or just smile That's 00:04:02.379 --> 00:04:07.039 it and by the way It works too because you live 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:09.159 like right on a busy road where there's a complete 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:11.580 traffic constant takes me two hours and my driveway 00:04:11.580 --> 00:04:14.759 He put it up on this fence that faces the road, 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:17.040 and we're taught I mean, it's it's like you know 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.100 the side wall here foot by six It's massive yeah, 00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:23.709 and so you put it up. Yep, and So my neighbor, 00:04:23.850 --> 00:04:26.490 I live next to Dolce Delight. Hi, Maria. Great 00:04:26.490 --> 00:04:30.029 restaurant in New York. Yeah, if you're in town, 00:04:30.050 --> 00:04:36.290 go. And she called me and she said one of my 00:04:36.290 --> 00:04:38.029 friends was having a tough time and she drove 00:04:38.029 --> 00:04:40.430 by and saw it and smiled. Oh, man. And I go, 00:04:40.689 --> 00:04:43.370 cool. It just paid for itself right there. That's 00:04:43.370 --> 00:04:46.870 the whole reason I did it and that was it. And 00:04:46.870 --> 00:04:50.730 then, well... I don't know, four or five days 00:04:50.730 --> 00:04:53.670 later, Maria started texting me and goes, hey, 00:04:53.689 --> 00:04:56.310 I want one from my corner. So that was the first 00:04:56.310 --> 00:04:59.350 one that went in the ground. We put it in the 00:04:59.350 --> 00:05:03.529 ground and, cool, that's it. And then she goes, 00:05:03.689 --> 00:05:05.790 I think I should start selling them. And I go, 00:05:05.910 --> 00:05:09.129 absolutely not. I was like, you're crazy. Everybody's 00:05:09.129 --> 00:05:14.430 losing their jobs. They're stuck. Our pet signs 00:05:14.430 --> 00:05:18.379 are falling off. She nicely, she's like a sister 00:05:18.379 --> 00:05:20.139 to me, she nicely, we went back and forth and 00:05:20.139 --> 00:05:23.199 back and forth and she goes, okay. She's like, 00:05:23.319 --> 00:05:26.000 make me 10 of them, tell me what they cost. And 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:29.439 I had no clue what I was doing. And I just used 00:05:29.439 --> 00:05:33.439 scrap wood and stuff, gave her 10 and she handed 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:37.639 them out. And here we are five years later. Made 00:05:37.639 --> 00:05:40.319 over 2 ,000, shipped them all over to the United 00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:43.279 States, different countries from Scotland, England, 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:48.220 Ireland. Rewind a little bit in the beginning, 00:05:48.660 --> 00:05:51.240 too. So when, well, the price of wood went up. 00:05:51.420 --> 00:05:53.680 So I ran out of scrap. I had to start charging 00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:56.399 for them. I like keeping them at a price that 00:05:56.399 --> 00:06:00.319 everybody can afford. Of course. And so as that 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:01.920 was happening, people started buying them. People 00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:04.680 just kind of started, oh, here's an extra $5 00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:07.139 and stuff. And everything was paid for. And this 00:06:07.139 --> 00:06:10.199 isn't a money making thing. So I just put it 00:06:10.199 --> 00:06:13.000 in a pot and started donating to different organizations. 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:18.829 So then that... It became its own thing. And 00:06:18.829 --> 00:06:22.050 throughout the years, we had different, like 00:06:22.050 --> 00:06:25.850 our wristbands go to the portion goes SBCA, our, 00:06:25.850 --> 00:06:28.949 uh, window clings, a portion goes to NAMI, our 00:06:28.949 --> 00:06:30.689 key chains, a portion goes to the downtown at 00:06:30.689 --> 00:06:33.370 the children's center. We've donated to different, 00:06:33.370 --> 00:06:35.750 uh, in Tennessee when they had that big flood. 00:06:36.149 --> 00:06:38.230 Uh, we donated to that. We donated to stuff. 00:06:38.389 --> 00:06:40.750 So it's not just local. It's all over the place. 00:06:40.750 --> 00:06:42.610 So we've gotten to donate thousands of thousands 00:06:42.610 --> 00:06:45.439 of dollars through that. And then. throughout 00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:49.800 all that, now we're just like steps away from 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:52.740 becoming an officially non -profit. I got one 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:56.579 of the numbers, so yeah. You also now have programs 00:06:56.579 --> 00:06:59.899 coming that we have in the works that will be, 00:07:00.139 --> 00:07:06.120 one is looking forward to when our first legs 00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:09.019 is for, I have a friend, he's a personal trainer, 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:12.819 he's gonna run this. It's not me. It's not Mike. 00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:17.930 Mike does train. And it'll be for seniors like 00:07:17.930 --> 00:07:20.750 exercise classes. Nice. It helps them keep on 00:07:20.750 --> 00:07:22.730 moving and stuff. A lot of people forget about 00:07:22.730 --> 00:07:24.750 the seniors and the seniors need to keep moving. 00:07:25.170 --> 00:07:28.170 You know, it's, dude, I'm, you know, this is 00:07:28.170 --> 00:07:30.750 a little different than, you know, when we interview 00:07:30.750 --> 00:07:32.290 people that do incredible things, because you're 00:07:32.290 --> 00:07:35.009 one of my best friends. So like, it touches me 00:07:35.009 --> 00:07:38.569 personally to see, because I know who you are. 00:07:38.610 --> 00:07:40.689 I know your heart. You know, we share a lot of 00:07:40.689 --> 00:07:44.269 that. And to see what you do for everybody. but 00:07:44.269 --> 00:07:46.490 also to see it growing. I mean, buddy, I drive 00:07:46.490 --> 00:07:51.029 around all over the place. I've been in far corners 00:07:51.029 --> 00:07:53.329 of New York state, and I'm like, what the? That's 00:07:53.329 --> 00:07:57.009 a Be Kind. That's my butt. And then I see on 00:07:57.009 --> 00:07:59.370 your website, which, by the way, Darryl Harrington 00:07:59.370 --> 00:08:04.529 here, Be Kind Ithaca, I see there's people posting 00:08:04.529 --> 00:08:08.089 from different states, right? Different countries. 00:08:08.509 --> 00:08:10.689 Yeah. So what? We got a picture of the Blarney 00:08:10.689 --> 00:08:13.759 Stone in Ireland. It's dope. Yep, there's some 00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:17.160 in Dublin, yeah. It's nuts. And now you wear, 00:08:18.019 --> 00:08:20.839 or what things do you, so you make this, it started 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:23.120 with the signs, which I used to love by the way. 00:08:23.379 --> 00:08:25.819 Talk about starting out grassroots style. You 00:08:25.819 --> 00:08:27.800 could drive by your house and on your front porch 00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:31.459 there'd be a line of like 15 upside down be kind 00:08:31.459 --> 00:08:35.419 signs drying. Yep. What do you make in addition 00:08:35.419 --> 00:08:37.299 to the signs? And you also customize them too, 00:08:37.379 --> 00:08:39.639 right? So the signs, yeah, we do all custom pretty 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:42.240 much, I mean. Anything you want. I hand paint 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:44.580 them. They're hand painted. So it takes... We 00:08:44.580 --> 00:08:47.000 do them per order. It takes a while. Like, there's 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:51.600 a lot of steps when I started it. I... It wasn't 00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:54.039 supposed to turn into this, which is great. I'm 00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:55.200 not complaining. That's what makes it cooler. 00:08:55.220 --> 00:08:57.440 But we weren't... Like, the making of them is 00:08:57.440 --> 00:09:01.399 really not efficient time. It'd take a long time 00:09:01.399 --> 00:09:03.539 to make. Yeah. Would I build them the last thing? 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:07.740 But yeah, I do custom stuff. I just did a... 00:09:07.740 --> 00:09:11.230 It was for a friend. It's a... House Divided 00:09:11.230 --> 00:09:16.889 Bengals Bill Slash. Oh. Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, 00:09:16.929 --> 00:09:19.350 we do... They better be kind. It's cool, because 00:09:19.350 --> 00:09:20.809 I like the challenge on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:09:20.809 --> 00:09:23.629 It's like, okay. You made one for me. It's a 00:09:23.629 --> 00:09:25.809 Bill's one that we have in our front yard. You 00:09:25.809 --> 00:09:28.110 know, it's such a simple sentiment, but, you 00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:29.929 know, you could say maybe the timing was a little 00:09:29.929 --> 00:09:31.629 weird with the pandemic. I thought the timing 00:09:31.629 --> 00:09:34.129 was perfect, because, boy, are we in a time when 00:09:34.129 --> 00:09:36.169 we need to be kind, because there's not a lot 00:09:36.169 --> 00:09:39.860 of it. That's it. There is. But it's being overshadowed 00:09:39.860 --> 00:09:42.039 by all the negativity on social media. Totally. 00:09:42.340 --> 00:09:45.740 And the one thing, for me personally, it changed 00:09:45.740 --> 00:09:48.000 my outlook on humanity, because at that time, 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.919 I thought everybody was angry. And it's not. 00:09:51.639 --> 00:09:55.899 This is my, I've said this for years now, I've 00:09:55.899 --> 00:09:58.879 met the most amazing people. And they're all 00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:02.139 the ones behind the scenes. That just, I say 00:10:02.139 --> 00:10:04.360 one out of 10 people, you take one out of 10. 00:10:05.139 --> 00:10:08.629 One's not a nice... person those other nine are 00:10:08.629 --> 00:10:11.149 just amazing people you never ever hear about 00:10:11.149 --> 00:10:13.649 and they do just I would have never met all these 00:10:13.649 --> 00:10:16.710 people and yeah, I would have never I know these 00:10:16.710 --> 00:10:18.929 people we are gonna get some of the most amazing 00:10:18.929 --> 00:10:24.129 women in my life, but I I've met them and I already 00:10:24.129 --> 00:10:28.309 can tell they're amazing and again, we have Sandra 00:10:28.309 --> 00:10:30.909 Sorensen here from Nami Finger Lakes and Samantha 00:10:30.909 --> 00:10:33.110 Shoemaker from Free Hugs, Ithaca I do want to 00:10:33.110 --> 00:10:35.649 talk about how this all came together, but I 00:10:35.649 --> 00:10:37.940 want to mention You know, another thing I love 00:10:37.940 --> 00:10:42.080 about Be Kind is we went to the Metallica concert 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:45.460 at the Dome this past weekend. And something 00:10:45.460 --> 00:10:48.340 I loved watching you do is when we interacted 00:10:48.340 --> 00:10:50.139 with somebody and had like a good interaction, 00:10:50.379 --> 00:10:51.840 you pulled a Be Kind sticker out and you said, 00:10:52.039 --> 00:10:53.940 thanks for being kind. I thought that was so 00:10:53.940 --> 00:10:58.840 fucking cool, man. Like, I think that's more 00:10:58.840 --> 00:11:01.960 effective than anything because it's a face -to 00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:04.340 -face interaction and you're giving them, it's 00:11:04.340 --> 00:11:07.019 just... You don't see a lot of it, and I really 00:11:07.019 --> 00:11:13.100 love that about you. I tried to put this in my 00:11:13.100 --> 00:11:16.500 stand -up bit once. I never kind of turned it 00:11:16.500 --> 00:11:18.940 into a bit, but do you remember when we talked 00:11:18.940 --> 00:11:22.100 about, we were on the road with the band, and 00:11:22.100 --> 00:11:26.159 this is kind of how I knew that Daryl was gonna 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.100 succeed with this Be Kind thing, is because it's, 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:30.889 first of all, this is inspired by... Everything 00:11:30.889 --> 00:11:32.490 you talked about, but also you and I have had 00:11:32.490 --> 00:11:34.169 our mental health struggles, and we helped each 00:11:34.169 --> 00:11:37.730 other a lot. We went like, he got me to go to 00:11:37.730 --> 00:11:40.090 therapy. Well, you got yourself to go to therapy, 00:11:40.129 --> 00:11:42.690 I just told you about it. Yeah, you took some 00:11:42.690 --> 00:11:45.090 pounding on me for years. Well, good way. Like, 00:11:45.190 --> 00:11:47.230 he's like, hey man, I think you need some therapy. 00:11:47.690 --> 00:11:50.409 I do not need therapy. But it was from a place 00:11:50.409 --> 00:11:56.139 of, I love you, but also I recognized... You 00:11:56.139 --> 00:11:58.299 were doing the things I was doing, and I knew 00:11:58.299 --> 00:12:02.480 that there was help. And I think from knowing 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:04.799 you the amount of time, I think it was the greatest 00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:06.740 thing you've ever done, other than marry Jackie, 00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:11.360 would be, I have to say that, she'll kill me. 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:17.379 No, no, I think that was one of the most important. 00:12:17.980 --> 00:12:20.220 decisions and moves of your life, I think. I 00:12:20.220 --> 00:12:22.340 think, I don't know if this would've came along 00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:25.299 if you had it, you know? But the joke I used 00:12:25.299 --> 00:12:28.320 to say is, when we were, wherever we were, and 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:31.320 I remember thinking, shit, Darryl, I go, I'm 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:34.159 glad this Be Kind thing's taking off, I go, but 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:36.480 what's gonna happen when someone's nasty with 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:38.879 you over the phone? Like, you can't be nasty 00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:40.820 back, you're gonna have to just eat shit. Like, 00:12:40.940 --> 00:12:43.620 you know, customer service is tough at Be Kind, 00:12:43.700 --> 00:12:46.250 because... How are you gonna turn around and 00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:48.929 be like, well screw you? That's not in that and 00:12:48.929 --> 00:12:51.049 we talked about that because I was I had a job 00:12:51.049 --> 00:12:54.029 I was working in the delivery from I'm not gonna 00:12:54.029 --> 00:12:58.429 say which one the lumber was Was not put in and 00:12:58.429 --> 00:13:01.889 I got people there getting paid waiting to unload 00:13:01.889 --> 00:13:05.070 And I call and I go ahead and I'm like this and 00:13:05.070 --> 00:13:07.250 I pull my card out says be kind Ithaca. I was 00:13:07.250 --> 00:13:13.490 like, so what can we do? It's tough it's tough 00:13:15.439 --> 00:13:19.419 But exactly. But I am no saint, believe me. So 00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:22.559 now we know the basis of how Be Kind started. 00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:25.779 And when I asked you to come on the show, you 00:13:25.779 --> 00:13:27.259 said you were going to bring some friends. Again, 00:13:27.379 --> 00:13:30.500 we have Sandra Sorensen from NAMI Finger Lakes 00:13:30.500 --> 00:13:33.159 and Samantha Shoemaker from Free Hugs Ithaca. 00:13:33.539 --> 00:13:37.820 Welcome. Thank you for being here. How did this 00:13:37.820 --> 00:13:40.899 three of you come together? Let's start there. 00:13:40.940 --> 00:13:47.240 How did this become a team? So, Samantha contacted 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:55.360 me. She gets a bunch of baby hearts. And coincidentally, 00:13:55.379 --> 00:13:56.960 she lives in my hometown, which we didn't know 00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.820 back then. I'd be like, oh, I'm going to see 00:13:59.820 --> 00:14:02.580 my parents. I'll drop them off, you know? So 00:14:02.580 --> 00:14:04.799 then one day, she sent me a video. And she goes, 00:14:04.940 --> 00:14:08.399 hey, I do this kind of stuff. And she's from 00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:11.960 Rochester. Nice. And there's this video of her 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:15.000 doing free hugs at Lilac Vest with a videographer 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:18.200 that followed them around. And they hug people. 00:14:18.259 --> 00:14:21.980 It's the coolest thing. And I go, why don't we 00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:23.879 start doing this in Ithaca? You're in Ithaca. 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:28.500 And we met. It was funny the first time. So we 00:14:28.500 --> 00:14:33.460 went to Apple Fest. I was with Jack. I go, I 00:14:33.460 --> 00:14:35.139 don't even know what she looks like. I don't 00:14:35.139 --> 00:14:36.980 know who I'm looking for, right? I'm just looking 00:14:36.980 --> 00:14:40.659 for a free hugs person, right? Hugging random 00:14:40.659 --> 00:14:44.039 people. This is like way outside my box to sit 00:14:44.039 --> 00:14:47.580 on the commons and hug thousands of people with 00:14:47.580 --> 00:14:50.399 signs, right? Bend Ithaca, that's a real risk 00:14:50.399 --> 00:14:51.860 because you don't know what you're dealing in. 00:14:52.379 --> 00:14:54.700 And that's what you think, but it's, I mean, 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:56.799 people would, you know, I'd be like, oh my god, 00:14:57.399 --> 00:15:02.879 who would happen? So anyways, it was one of the 00:15:02.879 --> 00:15:06.399 coolest things. It was like a dopamine high, 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:10.600 is that what it is? Mean they do say there there 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:14.059 are studies that they say hugging for I think 00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:16.940 they even have it down to like eight to ten seconds 00:15:16.940 --> 00:15:19.379 Releases like you know, whatever it is serotonin. 00:15:19.460 --> 00:15:22.600 Is it 20 seconds? Hang in there. You got you 00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:26.580 got to really make it awkward Wow, so we're making 00:15:26.580 --> 00:15:30.259 this word, but I gotta get you open man You would 00:15:30.259 --> 00:15:33.659 be surprised how long 20 seconds. I know well 00:15:33.659 --> 00:15:42.480 no comment, but anyway, um Sorry You know, one 00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:45.179 of my favorite music videos of all time is the 00:15:45.179 --> 00:15:47.700 Dave Matthews Band everyday video. Do you know 00:15:47.700 --> 00:15:51.299 about this? Because in the video, I forget the 00:15:51.299 --> 00:15:54.220 comedic actor's name, he walks around New York 00:15:54.220 --> 00:15:57.399 City and he's just hugging everybody. And I get 00:15:57.399 --> 00:15:59.580 goosebumps when I think about it because it's 00:15:59.580 --> 00:16:04.210 just so... Not only hugging other people gives 00:16:04.210 --> 00:16:06.090 you dopamine, I think watching other people hug. 00:16:06.350 --> 00:16:08.009 He's literally just going up to random strangers. 00:16:08.389 --> 00:16:12.649 So when you told me about Samantha and free hugs, 00:16:13.269 --> 00:16:16.789 I was like, I'm in love with this idea just based 00:16:16.789 --> 00:16:19.570 on that video. So did you get inspiration from 00:16:19.570 --> 00:16:25.509 that or is it just like, oh. No, I was in college 00:16:25.509 --> 00:16:30.769 and I saw The original guy, I never can remember 00:16:30.769 --> 00:16:33.110 his name when I put on the spot, but out west 00:16:33.110 --> 00:16:35.389 and he started to see these videos circulating 00:16:35.389 --> 00:16:38.389 around social media. And then one of my college 00:16:38.389 --> 00:16:43.909 coeds put a video on his socials and I was like, 00:16:43.990 --> 00:16:47.269 wait a second, where did you go? Thinking somehow 00:16:47.269 --> 00:16:49.210 they were linked, like forgetting that it's actually 00:16:49.210 --> 00:16:52.769 a large world here. Yeah. Yeah, no, he just did 00:16:52.769 --> 00:16:55.929 it on his own and decided to videotape it. And 00:16:55.929 --> 00:16:58.529 I said, that's it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. 00:16:58.649 --> 00:17:02.590 And it took me, that was in like 2013 or 14. 00:17:02.809 --> 00:17:07.309 I was like, thank you very much. And I started 00:17:07.309 --> 00:17:10.509 doing it in Rochester by the time I finally got 00:17:10.509 --> 00:17:14.690 the plan in order. It was 2016. And then we started 00:17:14.690 --> 00:17:18.210 making sure it's 2017. We had a little hookup 00:17:18.210 --> 00:17:22.650 at the... but we handed out cards for that one, 00:17:22.890 --> 00:17:26.289 little business cards that said free hugs. Yeah, 00:17:26.289 --> 00:17:27.910 it just turned into a thing. We'd go to the Lilac 00:17:27.910 --> 00:17:30.490 Festival the first Saturday of every year, and 00:17:30.490 --> 00:17:33.849 it got bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, I 00:17:33.849 --> 00:17:39.690 can imagine you felt an immediate reward. Just 00:17:39.690 --> 00:17:41.869 after the first hug, you were probably like, 00:17:42.049 --> 00:17:46.440 it must be rewarding. And on top of that... Did 00:17:46.440 --> 00:17:48.940 you get any instant feedback or do you get any 00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:51.160 instant feedback of like hey, I needed that or 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:54.660 yes or Has anyone gotten emotional? Oh, yeah, 00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:57.960 that's all the time So we have two rules and 00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:00.759 one is you don't let go until they do and if 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:02.920 they're talking you listen Yeah, and that's it. 00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:04.960 That's the only rule. Well, the third, you know 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:06.559 hidden rule would be don't use your cell phone 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:10.299 or not do any of that right, but yeah, so we 00:18:10.299 --> 00:18:12.299 always had two rules and that we would say it 00:18:12.299 --> 00:18:14.019 at the beginning and you know, just kind of remind 00:18:14.019 --> 00:18:17.849 people if if they, you know, maybe a new hugger 00:18:17.849 --> 00:18:20.450 might notice, they might make a face, because 00:18:20.450 --> 00:18:22.390 someone said something, you know. And you just 00:18:22.390 --> 00:18:23.710 kind of remind them, hey, you know, we're just 00:18:23.710 --> 00:18:27.430 here to listen. And it really, so much feedback. 00:18:27.710 --> 00:18:30.009 So one of them, I had this huge guy coming at 00:18:30.009 --> 00:18:35.410 me, and he's like, and he hugs me, and then he 00:18:35.410 --> 00:18:37.690 was like, you don't even understand how much 00:18:37.690 --> 00:18:41.089 I needed this. In college time, when we're hugging, 00:18:41.269 --> 00:18:43.569 like a lot of the college students say like, 00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:46.119 My parents are so far away and I don't get hugs 00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:50.339 anymore. One said they missed her. And we bring 00:18:50.339 --> 00:18:52.079 Miggy with us a lot and she wears the thing. 00:18:52.180 --> 00:18:55.359 Our dog, Miggy, is our black lab. In case people 00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:57.859 don't want to hug us and they're the dog. Miggy's 00:18:57.859 --> 00:19:01.019 always like the kid. I'm so touched by this. 00:19:01.019 --> 00:19:02.740 They can hug her. I would like to make clear 00:19:02.740 --> 00:19:06.819 though that I only sent Daryl the video out of 00:19:06.819 --> 00:19:10.039 a very... Grave, thank you for those hearts. 00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:13.500 He was like my hero before. I saw, I watched 00:19:13.500 --> 00:19:15.640 it grow. He thinks it's so silly, but I'm so 00:19:15.640 --> 00:19:17.599 serious. I watched it grow a little bit and then 00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:20.079 I've seen more hearts. I'm like, I need to get, 00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:22.160 it was my Christmas that was when I asked for 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.640 Santa for Christmas. I asked for a be kind heart 00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:27.200 and I finally got it. I said, oh my gosh, I couldn't 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:30.619 even talk. I was like, self -attacked. Like meeting 00:19:30.619 --> 00:19:34.079 a celebrity? But I do, I do. Yeah, it was really 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:36.619 just me being a fangirl. That's awesome. Yeah. 00:19:37.549 --> 00:19:42.349 Free hugs, Ithaca. Be kind, Ithaca. What, I mean, 00:19:42.869 --> 00:19:44.750 how do I word this? What's the business model? 00:19:44.970 --> 00:19:46.990 So you, obviously you go to events, you give 00:19:46.990 --> 00:19:49.930 out free hugs, and you sell merchandise. Let's 00:19:49.930 --> 00:19:52.670 talk about - It's a dollar to let go. It's a 00:19:52.670 --> 00:19:58.890 dollar to let go. It'd be funny if someone was 00:19:58.890 --> 00:20:01.410 like, I don't have any cash. You gotta say cash 00:20:01.410 --> 00:20:04.109 only? So then you gotta walk with them to the 00:20:04.109 --> 00:20:06.970 ATM? Yeah. So you're just walking down and going 00:20:06.970 --> 00:20:08.670 to an ATM together. Exactly. That's how I... 00:20:08.670 --> 00:20:12.329 Embrace. But no, what is... So talk about Free 00:20:12.329 --> 00:20:15.529 Hugs Ithaca. You can go to the website or the 00:20:15.529 --> 00:20:18.970 Facebook page. And what's coming up? What do 00:20:18.970 --> 00:20:22.829 you do? So, I mean, for me it's still very new 00:20:22.829 --> 00:20:25.230 and just getting to learn all the resources like 00:20:25.230 --> 00:20:31.130 NAMI is a huge one for us. I mean I have a friend 00:20:31.130 --> 00:20:33.049 who works in the basement and she makes shirts 00:20:33.049 --> 00:20:35.630 and I've never sold them before. I've always 00:20:35.630 --> 00:20:37.690 just given them away and like I said the event 00:20:37.690 --> 00:20:40.200 got bigger and bigger so now I've got. An inventory, 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:42.640 sure. Can't feel guilty about that. I mean, it 00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:44.299 gets to a point, they're going through the same 00:20:44.299 --> 00:20:46.880 thing. It just means you're succeeding. And, 00:20:47.140 --> 00:20:51.240 you know, I think people are happy to pay. Well, 00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:52.940 and he gave me the great idea, you know, just 00:20:52.940 --> 00:20:55.140 to start to an end, really, because it isn't 00:20:55.140 --> 00:20:57.440 free and your time's not free. And just kind 00:20:57.440 --> 00:20:59.819 of put a little bit of different, totally different 00:20:59.819 --> 00:21:02.920 perspective on it. And... You know, now I have 00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:05.880 places that I like to donate to, Sophie Fund 00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:08.579 and NAMI, whenever we can. You know, I'm not 00:21:08.579 --> 00:21:10.400 really selling many shirts that don't market 00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:13.859 myself well, but Facebook, Facebook, I'm at Facebook, 00:21:14.039 --> 00:21:18.019 Free Hugs Ithaca, and we're building a Square 00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:20.880 website. Nice. I just don't know what I'm doing, 00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:23.339 so it's just a little slow press. That's all 00:21:23.339 --> 00:21:28.480 right. NAMI. Yes. Sandra Sorensen, also here. 00:21:29.589 --> 00:21:33.450 I am a little bit aware of Nami. Look, I'm just, 00:21:33.589 --> 00:21:35.589 I mean, if ever there was a time, it might be 00:21:35.589 --> 00:21:38.589 now. It may as well be now. I have struggled 00:21:38.589 --> 00:21:44.170 with mental health my entire life. And as you 00:21:44.170 --> 00:21:46.450 know, ebbs and flows. You know, there's time 00:21:46.450 --> 00:21:49.549 periods where you're like, you're on the mend, 00:21:49.569 --> 00:21:53.009 you're doing great, and then there's times when 00:21:53.009 --> 00:21:57.190 you're going through a lot. And sometimes it... 00:21:56.859 --> 00:22:01.259 Sometimes it's not tangible at all. It's just 00:22:01.259 --> 00:22:08.500 the chemicals and who knows. So I've always been 00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:11.279 a huge advocate for mental health awareness and 00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:13.900 we've gotten to a place now where it seems like 00:22:13.900 --> 00:22:17.900 it's working. It's out there, there's better 00:22:17.900 --> 00:22:21.240 help and all these things and people are open 00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:24.079 and talking about it. I went through a lot of 00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:26.779 childhood trauma and I didn't realize that. I 00:22:26.779 --> 00:22:28.720 mean, I kind of knew, but I didn't realize how 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:31.839 much that played a role. So all that to say, 00:22:32.460 --> 00:22:34.559 it means a lot what all three of you do, but 00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:39.900 specifically, you know, I love NAMI and National 00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:41.980 Alliance on Mental Illness, by the way, is what 00:22:41.980 --> 00:22:44.759 it stands for. And you're part of NAMI Finger 00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:47.460 Lakes. Let's talk about that a little bit. Tell 00:22:47.460 --> 00:22:49.900 us a little bit about the organization and how 00:22:49.900 --> 00:22:53.400 you got involved. Yeah. So NAMI is the National 00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:56.319 Alliance on Mental Illness. It's a national organization. 00:22:56.559 --> 00:22:59.180 There are over 700 local affiliates across the 00:22:59.180 --> 00:23:01.960 country. All of the affiliates are grassroots 00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:05.559 organizations. So National doesn't plant affiliates. 00:23:05.779 --> 00:23:08.220 It's just somebody has a heart to start a NAMI 00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:13.240 and they do. So my first involvement with NAMI 00:23:13.240 --> 00:23:17.759 was when my husband was suffering with bipolar. 00:23:19.109 --> 00:23:21.930 and things were just really hard. And I heard 00:23:21.930 --> 00:23:24.549 about this class called Family to Family, which 00:23:24.549 --> 00:23:27.390 is one of NAMI's signature classes. And it's 00:23:27.390 --> 00:23:29.769 for caregivers, people that are caring for somebody 00:23:29.769 --> 00:23:33.509 that has mental illness. And I was just kind 00:23:33.509 --> 00:23:35.809 of at my end, so I was like, it can't hurt. So 00:23:35.809 --> 00:23:38.869 I took this class. And when you go into taking 00:23:38.869 --> 00:23:41.299 a class like that, you're thinking like you're 00:23:41.299 --> 00:23:43.319 gonna get solutions, right? Like I have this 00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:44.740 problem, someone's gonna tell me what to do. 00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:46.819 There's some magical thing out there that I didn't 00:23:46.819 --> 00:23:50.960 know already. And what you end up with when you 00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:53.900 take a NAMI Family to Family is you're in a space, 00:23:53.900 --> 00:23:55.960 either virtual or in a basement. In my case, 00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:58.599 we're in a church basement and it was like 20 00:23:58.599 --> 00:24:01.880 people in the class. And the whole program is 00:24:01.880 --> 00:24:04.180 somebody reading information to you. And like, 00:24:04.180 --> 00:24:05.700 if someone had told me that's what it was ahead 00:24:05.700 --> 00:24:07.200 of time, I would have been like, that is not 00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:10.009 what I need. But, like, once a week, like, I 00:24:10.009 --> 00:24:12.829 had a crazy household, five kids, and a husband 00:24:12.829 --> 00:24:15.009 who was, like, in depression for nine months 00:24:15.009 --> 00:24:18.410 at a time. Like, escaping to this little basement 00:24:18.410 --> 00:24:20.769 once a week and, like, being immersed in, like, 00:24:20.910 --> 00:24:23.490 someone just reading to me, like, it was so soothing. 00:24:24.009 --> 00:24:26.829 And the sharing that happened in that group just 00:24:26.829 --> 00:24:29.269 created, like, a really strong community. And 00:24:29.269 --> 00:24:31.069 it was exactly what I needed at that time. Like, 00:24:31.150 --> 00:24:34.009 it really fueled me and empowered me to be able 00:24:34.009 --> 00:24:36.019 to, like... create boundaries and take care of 00:24:36.019 --> 00:24:38.140 myself which is something that I had never learned 00:24:38.140 --> 00:24:41.680 and how to like be sustained in this um this 00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:45.480 relationship so fast forward pandemic came and 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:48.519 then my husband in may of 21 actually died by 00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:51.759 suicide which was like really traumatizing I 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.220 had no connection with Nami between the family 00:24:54.220 --> 00:24:58.779 to family class and that incident um And when 00:24:58.779 --> 00:25:00.839 that happened, I was an executive director of 00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:03.880 an organization that was housing homeless men 00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:07.859 in transition. And I left that job to just figure 00:25:07.859 --> 00:25:10.279 out life for a year and take care of my children. 00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:14.099 And when I was ready to re -enter the workforce, 00:25:14.259 --> 00:25:17.279 I started looking for jobs. And it was really 00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:19.420 challenging because I have this gap that I have 00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:22.480 to explain. So I was going through leadership 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:25.140 coaching on how to account for this and interviews 00:25:25.140 --> 00:25:28.130 and stuff without like... trauma dumping on people. 00:25:28.490 --> 00:25:31.630 So I finally felt well -trained. I had my cover 00:25:31.630 --> 00:25:33.569 letter done. I had practiced interview questions 00:25:33.569 --> 00:25:36.250 with my leadership coaching. And then I found 00:25:36.250 --> 00:25:38.650 this job from NAMI. And I was like, oh my gosh, 00:25:38.670 --> 00:25:41.250 I don't even have to not tell my story, because 00:25:41.250 --> 00:25:43.430 that's what people at NAMI do. So right in my 00:25:43.430 --> 00:25:46.190 cover letter, I was able to share that. And that 00:25:46.190 --> 00:25:48.630 felt so comfortable. And I didn't expect to get 00:25:48.630 --> 00:25:51.269 the job. But I did. And so I became the executive 00:25:51.269 --> 00:25:54.250 director of NAMI Finger Lakes September of 23. 00:25:55.950 --> 00:25:58.829 It was literally like a week later, I was at 00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:02.890 an event for the Sophie Fund and I was terrified 00:26:02.890 --> 00:26:05.130 to be there. It's like a suicide prevention event. 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:07.089 I didn't know if I was ready. Like I was going 00:26:07.089 --> 00:26:08.789 to get triggered. I'm going to bring up a lot 00:26:08.789 --> 00:26:10.690 of new executive director and I'm there like 00:26:10.690 --> 00:26:13.369 bawling or like having a little moment. And so 00:26:13.369 --> 00:26:15.369 I'm like trying to compose myself the whole time 00:26:15.369 --> 00:26:18.630 and be professional. And I was like taking a 00:26:18.630 --> 00:26:20.210 break from the talking like I was trying not 00:26:20.210 --> 00:26:22.049 to listen to it because it was triggering. So 00:26:22.049 --> 00:26:24.109 I was walking around and I came to Daryl's table. 00:26:25.309 --> 00:26:28.809 And I loved the whole be kind heart thing. And 00:26:28.809 --> 00:26:30.630 I was like, oh my gosh, my youngest daughter 00:26:30.630 --> 00:26:32.869 will just love this. So I bought a t -shirt for 00:26:32.869 --> 00:26:35.250 her for Christmas because I Christmas shopped 00:26:35.250 --> 00:26:37.930 so far ahead of time. And so we started a conversation 00:26:37.930 --> 00:26:41.569 super quick, just like casual. And then Daryl 00:26:41.569 --> 00:26:43.809 was speaking at that event, which I didn't know. 00:26:44.509 --> 00:26:47.930 So Daryl got up and shared his story. And it 00:26:47.930 --> 00:26:52.839 was so touching to me. I had lived with a man 00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:56.299 who was so afraid of stigma and never was able 00:26:56.299 --> 00:26:59.440 to get through the Pride to get the help that 00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:02.299 he needed or to share his story. And so the fact 00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:04.500 that a man was standing up there sharing his 00:27:04.500 --> 00:27:07.900 story was so powerful to me. And the event ended 00:27:07.900 --> 00:27:10.079 and we were all cleaning up. And my friend was 00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:11.299 like, come on, come on, come on, come on. And 00:27:11.299 --> 00:27:12.900 I was like, I gotta go talk to this guy. I gotta 00:27:12.900 --> 00:27:16.029 go talk to this guy. And so I ran over and I 00:27:16.029 --> 00:27:18.170 was like, I so appreciate you sharing your story. 00:27:18.250 --> 00:27:19.930 And he was like, it's the first time I've ever 00:27:19.930 --> 00:27:23.029 shared my story. I remember you calling me about 00:27:23.029 --> 00:27:26.069 how nervous you were. And I was like, oh my gosh, 00:27:26.130 --> 00:27:28.869 it touched me so much. That was the most important 00:27:28.869 --> 00:27:31.390 part of my day. That was so important to me. 00:27:31.990 --> 00:27:33.809 And so that just kind of sparked a friendship 00:27:33.809 --> 00:27:37.369 that has just never ended. So we started collaborating 00:27:37.369 --> 00:27:39.309 on events together. And so every time we have 00:27:39.309 --> 00:27:44.779 something, Be Kind comes. One thing that Daryl 00:27:44.779 --> 00:27:46.720 did with another friend of ours who owns a coffee 00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:49.400 shop is they made a Be Kind coffee blend and 00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:52.220 proceeds of that came to Nami. So we did like 00:27:52.220 --> 00:27:56.099 a pop -up like Valentine's Day self -love kind 00:27:56.099 --> 00:27:59.000 of event for people that, you know, don't like 00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:01.720 the Valentine's Day romance part of the thing. 00:28:02.819 --> 00:28:04.960 And Samantha came and that's when I met her and 00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:07.079 that was really fun. And then I started hugging 00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.380 with Samantha and Daryl. And now look at you, 00:28:09.460 --> 00:28:13.000 the three Amiga. So the cool thing about NAMI 00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:17.259 is that we don't have social work degrees, we're 00:28:17.259 --> 00:28:19.900 not psychiatrists, we're not therapists. We have 00:28:19.900 --> 00:28:22.240 lived experience. That's better than any degree. 00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:24.299 Instead of sharing at a head level, we share 00:28:24.299 --> 00:28:27.200 at a heart level, which is a perfect combination 00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:31.200 with the Be Kind heart. And so it's just a beautiful 00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:35.240 way to connect with people and just hear them 00:28:35.240 --> 00:28:38.019 and listen to them and let them know that they're 00:28:38.019 --> 00:28:42.630 not alone. That is amazing. First of all, I'm 00:28:42.630 --> 00:28:46.609 deeply touched by your story. And I really, I 00:28:46.609 --> 00:28:50.269 know what it must take for you to have to dig 00:28:50.269 --> 00:28:53.170 down and relive that just to talk about it. And 00:28:53.170 --> 00:28:55.210 maybe in some ways it's healing. I know sometimes 00:28:55.210 --> 00:28:57.990 it can be. But I thank you for being open about 00:28:57.990 --> 00:29:00.589 that. That's a tough, I mean, there's nothing 00:29:00.589 --> 00:29:04.650 tougher. I've lost a handful of people at this 00:29:04.650 --> 00:29:07.029 point in my life who died by suicide. And it 00:29:07.029 --> 00:29:11.519 is... My god, it is it's it's something that 00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:15.259 I don't I don't wish on my worst enemy I Because 00:29:15.259 --> 00:29:18.660 you know, it's a what do they say? it's a it's 00:29:18.660 --> 00:29:21.380 a it's a long -term solution for a short -term 00:29:21.380 --> 00:29:24.900 problem and then You're left thinking what could 00:29:24.900 --> 00:29:27.180 I have done? I should have known, you know all 00:29:27.180 --> 00:29:30.259 the and and you hear that and then it happens 00:29:30.259 --> 00:29:32.900 to you and you find yourself actually saying 00:29:32.900 --> 00:29:36.190 those things and I could have helped if I And 00:29:36.190 --> 00:29:39.329 the truth is, it was going to happen whether 00:29:39.329 --> 00:29:42.450 or not, you know, it is what it is, but it's 00:29:42.450 --> 00:29:46.089 so hard to recover from that. And I must, I imagine 00:29:46.089 --> 00:29:51.289 that this, in a way, not even in a way, this 00:29:51.289 --> 00:29:53.490 is part of your recovery, I would imagine, right? 00:29:53.589 --> 00:29:56.329 This is, I feel like he's with you all the time, 00:29:56.410 --> 00:29:58.990 right? When you're out there advocating for this 00:29:58.990 --> 00:30:01.960 stuff. I think one of the... One of the greatest 00:30:01.960 --> 00:30:06.380 blessings of Nami for me has been, it's hard 00:30:06.380 --> 00:30:10.660 to go back to work and try to put on a professional 00:30:10.660 --> 00:30:13.740 persona and pretend things that happened to you 00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:16.099 didn't happen, which would have been the case 00:30:16.099 --> 00:30:18.220 if I had taken any other job, right? I would 00:30:18.220 --> 00:30:20.720 not be sharing my story. It'd just be this hidden 00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:23.880 thing. So one of the biggest blessings is like... 00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:27.079 The support that came from like all of the staff 00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:29.700 and volunteers like that in the lived experience 00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:32.599 It was like entering in like a built -in family. 00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:36.480 Yeah of supporters built -in friends and like 00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:41.539 it's not Like me telling my story and not having 00:30:41.539 --> 00:30:44.220 to hide from it. It's liberating for me Yeah, 00:30:44.740 --> 00:30:47.720 and it helps other people too and so it's just 00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:50.240 so cool that like I get to go through this part 00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:53.279 of my journey and be able to make a living and 00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:59.140 like pay for my house. So happy. I want to use 00:30:59.140 --> 00:31:01.539 a phrase, you know, we're not making light of 00:31:01.539 --> 00:31:03.900 the situation, but it is an ideal situation that 00:31:03.900 --> 00:31:06.279 if you are to go through something as traumatic 00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:09.119 as that, you're right. I think the hardest part 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:13.200 for anybody who is a survivor of someone who's 00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:17.660 died by suicide is Having to go on with life 00:31:17.660 --> 00:31:21.740 and and and have the energy and the mental ability 00:31:21.740 --> 00:31:26.180 to to Just operate on a daily basis So being 00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:28.660 in that environment must be so like you can be 00:31:28.660 --> 00:31:30.619 yourself and if you're having a bad day You don't 00:31:30.619 --> 00:31:32.160 you don't feel like you have to hide it. I think 00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.500 that's so important I think you know, I don't 00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:36.299 I I don't you know, whether it's the God or the 00:31:36.299 --> 00:31:38.140 universe whatever it is I think they put you 00:31:38.140 --> 00:31:41.759 in that position for a reason Yeah So NAMI Finger 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:45.660 Lakes. Was it namifingerlakes .com or just Google 00:31:45.660 --> 00:31:48.000 NAMI Finger Lakes? It's dot org. Dot org. Yeah, 00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:50.119 namifingerlakes .org. Namifingerlakes .org. And 00:31:50.119 --> 00:31:55.019 so I'm someone who's struggling or maybe I know 00:31:55.019 --> 00:31:58.420 someone who's struggling. When is the right time 00:31:58.420 --> 00:32:02.140 to reach out to NAMI? In what situation? So our 00:32:02.140 --> 00:32:05.140 basic mission is we support, advocate, and educate 00:32:05.140 --> 00:32:08.440 in mental health. And our focus is mostly on 00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.230 caregivers. which we define very loosely. So 00:32:11.230 --> 00:32:13.069 it can be like spouses and partners, friends, 00:32:13.230 --> 00:32:17.569 but it can also be coaches, teachers, first responders. 00:32:18.349 --> 00:32:22.690 So we have a peer support program that we're 00:32:22.690 --> 00:32:25.170 just about to launch that's for first responders. 00:32:25.769 --> 00:32:30.069 And it's actually our only like peer support. 00:32:30.130 --> 00:32:31.829 So people that are actually struggling with mental 00:32:31.829 --> 00:32:34.369 health supporting each other. Our other support 00:32:34.369 --> 00:32:36.410 groups are for people caring for people that 00:32:36.410 --> 00:32:38.349 have mental illness. So we have a family support 00:32:38.349 --> 00:32:41.230 group. Almost like an Al -Anon. Like the way, 00:32:41.390 --> 00:32:44.069 what Al -Anon is to someone who's, you know, 00:32:44.430 --> 00:32:46.109 struggling with a family member who's an alcoholic. 00:32:46.210 --> 00:32:48.289 Kind of the same idea. Exactly. It's for the 00:32:48.289 --> 00:32:49.829 people on the other side. That's wonderful. Yeah. 00:32:50.009 --> 00:32:52.390 Which is really a cool niche. Like in Tompkins 00:32:52.390 --> 00:32:55.069 County, which is, we serve Tompkins in Courtland 00:32:55.069 --> 00:32:58.720 County. And in Tompkins County, there are a lot 00:32:58.720 --> 00:33:00.920 of nonprofits that are working with people that 00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:03.240 are struggling with mental health issues, a lot 00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:06.839 of peer support programs. But we're one of the 00:33:06.839 --> 00:33:11.039 few that do things for caregivers. And taking 00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:14.480 care of caregivers inadvertently takes care of 00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:16.579 the people that are struggling with mental health. 00:33:17.259 --> 00:33:21.500 100%. It's a real blessing to be able to do that 00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.920 because there's a different sense of loss and 00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:26.579 hopelessness. when you're close to somebody and 00:33:26.579 --> 00:33:28.660 you don't know what to do and there's nobody 00:33:28.660 --> 00:33:31.759 to talk to or that understands what's going on. 00:33:32.019 --> 00:33:34.839 Oh, God. I love this. That's wonderful because, 00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:38.259 you know, even for what I'm going through, you 00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:41.359 know, without getting too personal, you know, 00:33:41.420 --> 00:33:44.500 I have these days or weeks where I'm really going 00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:47.900 through some things and I'm thankful because 00:33:47.900 --> 00:33:51.460 of therapy that I've built this self -awareness. 00:33:51.609 --> 00:33:54.430 And I can kind of tell when when something's 00:33:54.430 --> 00:33:57.930 going on. And I always make sure to say, you 00:33:57.930 --> 00:34:00.630 know, I think my wife or I say, I'm sorry, you 00:34:00.630 --> 00:34:02.690 know, that I'm a little off today or this week, 00:34:02.690 --> 00:34:06.910 you know, because she doesn't understand it because 00:34:06.910 --> 00:34:08.469 she doesn't go through it. And that's not her 00:34:08.469 --> 00:34:10.789 fault. And I'm glad, obviously, I don't want 00:34:10.789 --> 00:34:12.050 her to go through. I don't want anyone to go 00:34:12.050 --> 00:34:15.349 through that. But it makes you realize, like, 00:34:15.349 --> 00:34:17.809 you know, you think I'm struggling, I'm struggling. 00:34:18.010 --> 00:34:19.809 I'm no one knows what I'm going through. Well, 00:34:19.829 --> 00:34:22.300 guess what? You know, my wife is going through, 00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:24.760 she's on the other end of it, my kids, you know? 00:34:25.619 --> 00:34:28.380 So I, it's funny, we talk about mental health 00:34:28.380 --> 00:34:30.579 awareness and how we all need to go get help, 00:34:31.059 --> 00:34:33.579 but you know, we don't think about, not intentionally, 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.079 but we don't think about the other side, the 00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:37.199 people on the other end of it, so I just think 00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:40.179 that's so wonderful that you guys. take that 00:34:40.179 --> 00:34:43.000 step to help the people in the families. Yeah, 00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:46.199 one of our most attended in regular support groups 00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:48.659 is our spouse and partner. So it's people living 00:34:48.659 --> 00:34:50.679 with a spouse or partner that has mental illness. 00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:53.840 It's amazing. It's just really powerful to be 00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:55.559 able to have that connection with other people 00:34:55.559 --> 00:34:57.159 that are going through the same thing as you. 00:34:57.280 --> 00:34:59.380 Yeah, I was talking about this not long ago on 00:34:59.380 --> 00:35:06.400 the show. I quit drinking in 2020 and I was told 00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:07.840 by other friends that had quit drinking, like 00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:10.320 you should think about going to AA. And like 00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:12.559 mental health, for me there was a stigma around 00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:14.519 that. I'm not going to, like, I don't need rehab, 00:35:14.659 --> 00:35:17.119 I don't need AA, I quit, I'm good. They're like, 00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:20.420 no, no, no, you're missing the point. It's just 00:35:20.420 --> 00:35:22.739 being around other people who have been through 00:35:22.739 --> 00:35:24.440 what you've been through. There's just tremendous 00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:26.960 reward in that. Even if you're not, like, I know 00:35:26.960 --> 00:35:29.019 I'm never gonna drink a sip of alcohol again. 00:35:29.559 --> 00:35:31.159 You know, I'm lucky in that, you know, some people 00:35:31.159 --> 00:35:33.960 don't, you know, they ride that line where they 00:35:33.960 --> 00:35:35.940 worry about relapse. I'm not worried about going 00:35:35.940 --> 00:35:39.199 back to it. So I thought, oh, I don't need AA. 00:35:39.599 --> 00:35:43.139 No, it's more about like, oh wait, you had that 00:35:43.139 --> 00:35:46.940 weird thought too? Or you had crazy sugar craving? 00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:49.940 And it's just, it's a sense of community and 00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:52.380 a sense of, hey, I'm not on this island by myself, 00:35:52.599 --> 00:35:54.980 right? Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And it's just, 00:35:54.980 --> 00:35:57.559 that's absolutely wonderful. You guys completely 00:35:57.559 --> 00:35:59.860 embody what this show is about. You know, we 00:35:59.860 --> 00:36:04.239 started Good News York as a show that just sheds 00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:07.570 positive light on every region of New York. Adirondacks, 00:36:07.789 --> 00:36:10.429 Central New York, New York City. And, you know, 00:36:10.449 --> 00:36:13.469 not all puppies in rainbows. You know, we have 00:36:13.469 --> 00:36:17.190 fun and there's comedy. But we really want to 00:36:17.190 --> 00:36:19.110 focus on the positive things. And this is just 00:36:19.110 --> 00:36:21.030 about as positive as it gets. And, you know, 00:36:21.030 --> 00:36:23.409 I'm so thankful for people like you guys, you 00:36:23.409 --> 00:36:26.889 know, that do this for people. And especially 00:36:26.889 --> 00:36:29.969 nowadays. I keep hearing that you guys mentioned 00:36:29.969 --> 00:36:32.670 the Sophie Fund. Yeah. And I feel like we should 00:36:32.670 --> 00:36:35.800 kind of talk about that real quick. Yeah. Daryl, 00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:38.840 you started with the selfie fund, right? Through 00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:46.019 Be Kind? So this is a funny story. So years ago, 00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:51.440 Jackie got asked by a friend. They do an annual 00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:55.179 cupcake contest, and they have judges, and everybody 00:36:55.179 --> 00:36:58.219 is amazing. The cupcakes, you can't be a professional. 00:36:58.659 --> 00:37:01.739 They're just regular people. Sure. Cupcake, it's 00:37:01.739 --> 00:37:04.860 amazing. Amazing. Amazing. You're like, how do 00:37:04.860 --> 00:37:06.900 people even think about doing that to a cupcake? 00:37:07.579 --> 00:37:13.400 And I'm in. So I'm in. Years ago, I, whoever, 00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:15.679 I forget, one of our friends was involved with 00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:17.719 it and they needed judges. So they asked Jack, 00:37:17.719 --> 00:37:21.639 who loves cupcakes, my wife, to judge. And coincidentally, 00:37:22.059 --> 00:37:25.059 and this is my own personal thing, after going 00:37:25.059 --> 00:37:31.460 to... What I went through, it's the first time 00:37:31.460 --> 00:37:34.500 ever I was in public and I felt well. And there's 00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:37.599 a picture of me sitting right in that area where 00:37:37.599 --> 00:37:40.099 like she was judging the cupcakes. And I remember 00:37:40.099 --> 00:37:42.940 when I see that picture and I go, oh my God, 00:37:42.940 --> 00:37:45.699 that was like the first day in my life I felt 00:37:45.699 --> 00:37:48.820 good. And I was like in public and not a mess. 00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:51.199 Isn't that the best? It was. I did that picture. 00:37:51.300 --> 00:37:53.340 But coincidentally, I didn't know what the Sophie 00:37:53.340 --> 00:37:57.619 one was then. And she got asked to judge these 00:37:57.619 --> 00:38:02.630 cupcakes. Years later, when we started and I 00:38:02.630 --> 00:38:05.230 was looking at different things, I reached out 00:38:05.230 --> 00:38:09.550 to, we were doing, we were making Christmas ornaments 00:38:09.550 --> 00:38:13.809 for Be Kind of My Parents that are old, elderly. 00:38:14.309 --> 00:38:18.170 Elderly, if you're listening, elder. Elder, old. 00:38:18.650 --> 00:38:21.469 Caesar crafters. And so they'd make these ornaments. 00:38:21.489 --> 00:38:25.550 So I reached out to Scott through my therapist, 00:38:25.789 --> 00:38:29.489 Jeep. I talked to Jeep. And he knew Scott, so 00:38:29.489 --> 00:38:34.110 I got Scott's info. Scott and his wife are the 00:38:34.110 --> 00:38:37.849 directors of the Sophie Fund. And I reached out 00:38:37.849 --> 00:38:43.389 to him about selling them, and he... We got talking, 00:38:43.530 --> 00:38:46.250 I told my story, talked about Be Kind and everything, 00:38:46.389 --> 00:38:48.869 and he was the one that said, would you be willing 00:38:48.869 --> 00:38:51.590 to come and speak at the next Cupcake Eating 00:38:51.590 --> 00:38:56.360 Contest? So that's where we met. No way. Yeah, 00:38:56.739 --> 00:39:00.940 so the Sophie Fund's amazing. They do amazing 00:39:00.940 --> 00:39:08.300 stuff. We, Be Kind, donates every year through 00:39:08.300 --> 00:39:12.539 our sales and other stuff as well as Samantha 00:39:12.539 --> 00:39:15.179 does. And we like to promote them as much as 00:39:15.179 --> 00:39:19.159 we can. What is the Sophie Fund exactly? It's 00:39:19.159 --> 00:39:23.039 a... Gentlemen in here? Yeah. So Scott's daughter, 00:39:23.480 --> 00:39:25.420 Sophie, was a Cornell student and she died by 00:39:25.420 --> 00:39:29.940 suicide. And he lives in Pennsylvania, but he 00:39:29.940 --> 00:39:33.739 and his wife started the Sophie Fund to advocate 00:39:33.739 --> 00:39:36.840 for better mental health, preventative care, 00:39:36.980 --> 00:39:39.340 especially on the Cornell campus. And he got 00:39:39.340 --> 00:39:42.260 really entrenched in, like, the Tompkins County 00:39:42.260 --> 00:39:45.500 organizations, nonprofit organizations. And so 00:39:45.500 --> 00:39:50.690 he started, like, the bullying. Team I would 00:39:50.690 --> 00:39:54.769 attack task force right in Tompkins County and 00:39:54.769 --> 00:39:58.269 like they raise a lot of money and donate to 00:39:58.269 --> 00:40:00.309 Nonprofits that are doing mental health work 00:40:01.369 --> 00:40:03.809 Naomi's on a task force with Sophie Fund, an 00:40:03.809 --> 00:40:05.989 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and 00:40:05.989 --> 00:40:08.590 Suicide Crisis, and we're doing a huge project 00:40:08.590 --> 00:40:10.670 right now trying to get mental health education 00:40:10.670 --> 00:40:13.909 into the local schools. So combined together, 00:40:14.190 --> 00:40:15.969 we have like a bigger force than like if we were 00:40:15.969 --> 00:40:18.010 just all trying to go individually. So Scott's 00:40:18.010 --> 00:40:21.280 just like a champion in like... gathering everyone 00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:23.420 together to try to make a real difference. Like, 00:40:23.539 --> 00:40:26.000 he's a doer more than a talker, and he's just 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:28.619 doing incredible things in Tompkins County. It's 00:40:28.619 --> 00:40:31.059 just absolutely wonderful. I can't thank you 00:40:31.059 --> 00:40:33.199 guys enough for being here. Before we wrap, though, 00:40:33.559 --> 00:40:37.000 I just want to prove that Daryl and I, we really 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:39.579 are like brothers. You can see right behind me, 00:40:39.739 --> 00:40:42.440 we played in a band together. See, right on the 00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:45.539 far right. Look how sexy you are there. The band 00:40:45.539 --> 00:40:47.969 was the New York Rock. I mean... Technically, 00:40:48.070 --> 00:40:49.630 it never really broke up. We're just kind of 00:40:49.630 --> 00:40:52.210 done indefinitely right now. But I don't want 00:40:52.210 --> 00:40:54.670 to say former band, but yeah, there's us. But 00:40:54.670 --> 00:40:57.050 here's something people don't know. Before Darryl 00:40:57.050 --> 00:41:00.690 was in the band, he was actually part of a Bee 00:41:00.690 --> 00:41:04.849 Gees tribute band. Buddy, I found that in my 00:41:04.849 --> 00:41:06.769 phone this morning. I don't remember what it's 00:41:06.769 --> 00:41:08.869 from, but someone photoshopped you as Barry Gibb 00:41:08.869 --> 00:41:10.610 or something. Yeah. I tried to find the one of 00:41:10.610 --> 00:41:12.409 you in the tutu, and I couldn't find it. Did 00:41:12.409 --> 00:41:14.579 you get the tutu dirt? No, I couldn't find that 00:41:14.579 --> 00:41:20.500 either. And then real quick before we go, Harold 00:41:20.500 --> 00:41:22.460 and I did go to the Metallica concert this past 00:41:22.460 --> 00:41:25.880 weekend and we had such a funny observation, 00:41:26.099 --> 00:41:29.420 so many funny observations. One being it's so 00:41:29.420 --> 00:41:32.480 much different going as an adult because I had 00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:35.119 this tremendous anxiety that I last time I went 00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:37.480 to see Metallica was 20 years ago. I thought 00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:39.579 there was going to be shirtless dudes sweating 00:41:39.579 --> 00:41:42.320 and banging their head into me like it used to 00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:45.829 be. And I looked around during the concert and 00:41:45.829 --> 00:41:49.489 everybody, I'm like, oh, wait, I got older. And 00:41:49.489 --> 00:41:54.650 so did that. Like the crowd was docile. I was 00:41:54.650 --> 00:41:58.550 like, it's just so strange to see heavy metal 00:41:58.550 --> 00:42:01.329 musicians and rappers age out. It's just you 00:42:01.329 --> 00:42:03.110 never thought it was going to happen. But it 00:42:03.110 --> 00:42:05.269 was a great time. It was a phenomenal show. And 00:42:05.269 --> 00:42:07.429 yeah, it was great. I mean, obviously it was 00:42:07.429 --> 00:42:09.949 funny because Mike and I. We used to joke, because 00:42:09.949 --> 00:42:12.650 we'd go to Chicago or whatever, and we'd be excited 00:42:12.650 --> 00:42:15.090 about playing in Chicago and Cleveland and everything. 00:42:15.190 --> 00:42:17.329 We had great runs, but then we'd joke, and I'd 00:42:17.329 --> 00:42:20.969 go, you know, I love playing, but it's car rides. 00:42:21.329 --> 00:42:24.909 Yeah, that's the best part. Car rides were the 00:42:24.909 --> 00:42:28.349 best. If we could have recorded our conversation, 00:42:28.449 --> 00:42:30.650 well, we might be arrested. But riding in the 00:42:30.650 --> 00:42:32.909 band van, man, that was the best. Well, listen, 00:42:33.369 --> 00:42:36.170 I wish we had more time. I cannot thank you guys 00:42:36.170 --> 00:42:38.010 enough. I'm definitely going to be hugging you. 00:42:38.139 --> 00:42:41.760 Darryl Harrington from Be Kind, Ithaca. We've 00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:44.860 got Sandra Sorensen from NAMI Finger Lakes, namifingerlakes 00:42:44.860 --> 00:42:47.960 .org. And of course, Samantha Shoemaker from 00:42:47.960 --> 00:42:50.300 Free Hugs, Ithaca. You can Google it, find them 00:42:50.300 --> 00:42:52.820 all online. You guys embody what this show is 00:42:52.820 --> 00:42:55.179 about. I love you so much. Thank you for your 00:42:55.179 --> 00:42:58.320 time. Any last -minute plugs, anything coming 00:42:58.320 --> 00:43:00.840 up, you want to plug? We are all going to be 00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:04.199 at NAMI's third annual NAMI Walks on May 3rd. 00:43:04.230 --> 00:43:06.989 Great. 3 o 'clock p .m. at Stewart Park. In Ithaca. 00:43:07.030 --> 00:43:08.570 So you should come walk with us. I will be there. 00:43:08.650 --> 00:43:10.630 You could wear a hug shirt and hug people. So 00:43:10.630 --> 00:43:15.130 what we do is on the route, we have a tent, and 00:43:15.130 --> 00:43:18.170 as everybody comes through... That's amazing. 00:43:18.550 --> 00:43:21.090 You can hand out stickers. That's amazing. I 00:43:21.090 --> 00:43:23.630 will, and I'll make sure I have all this info 00:43:23.630 --> 00:43:25.590 and we'll throw it up on the screen and put it 00:43:25.590 --> 00:43:28.969 in all our social media clips. Perfect. And we'll 00:43:28.969 --> 00:43:31.210 definitely promote that. I absolutely love you 00:43:31.210 --> 00:43:36.050 guys. Daryl, Sandra, Samantha. Man, keep doing 00:43:36.050 --> 00:43:40.449 what you're doing. It's so important. All right, 00:43:40.449 --> 00:43:44.309 and with that, we are going to head out for the 00:43:44.309 --> 00:43:46.409 weekend, because this is the last show of the 00:43:46.409 --> 00:43:51.610 week. It is draft day, okay? So in honor of draft 00:43:51.610 --> 00:43:54.030 day, I have a little side project called The 00:43:54.030 --> 00:43:57.429 K -Gun. My buddy and I record songs about the 00:43:57.429 --> 00:44:00.349 Buffalo Bills, and we recorded and shot a music 00:44:00.349 --> 00:44:04.110 video called Where Else? Marv's anthem if you're 00:44:04.110 --> 00:44:06.230 a Bills fan you know what that means and we shot 00:44:06.230 --> 00:44:09.090 the video at the home opener and It's just a 00:44:09.090 --> 00:44:10.909 it's an anthem for Bills mafia, so I'm gonna 00:44:10.909 --> 00:44:15.250 play that as we roll out of here God bless y 00:44:15.250 --> 00:44:17.329 'all. Have a great weekend. We'll see you Monday 00:44:17.329 --> 00:44:20.429 Mike Brindisi out isn't that what Brian Seacrest 00:44:20.429 --> 00:44:23.349 says? Have a good weekend