All right, welcome to the Thursday edition of
good news York Yeah, a lot of thing. I'm Mike
Brindisi. Of course the great Matt Mazer Danny
on the ones and twos back there I don't even
know what that means when people say it a special
guest, but I do want to mention it is our last
show of the week, but but It is an exciting show
because it is the beginning of the Masters, and
I can't wait. I have an idea of a little bit
I want to do with you after this. You just gave
me an idea. Now I want Danny to have a whole
DJ set up, and he can... We need a house DJ.
You're right. Like Ellen? Like, you know, when
she had, like, a DJ? Ellen? Of all the things
you think of, Ellen? I don't know why the hell
I just... Anyway, I should probably let us proceed
with the guest. Yeah, anyway, we'll talk about
the Masters and all that stuff, but first, I
am joined by... Wait, I'm sorry, is it like a
football competition? Oh, perfect. You're setting
it up perfect. No, it's golf. Oh. But we'll just
go with football for now. The old swing in the
woods. The old sports ball. So we are joined
by comedian, and I can again say friend. Steven
Brown. You got a lot of funny friends. I do have
a lot of funny friends. Hi, Steven. What's up,
buddy? I was ready for you guys just to vamp
and do folly sounds for 10 minutes. I was happy
to wait. I mean... Well, we can. It's a folly.
Yeah, folly, folly. But I knew what you meant.
With you, it's folly. When you're around, words
are just funnier. So, Steven, I'm so excited
you're here. We found out right before we went
on the air that... This is an anniversary for
you. Yes, this is officially the fourth year
anniversary of my very first open mic I ever
did. That is awesome. And I want to lie to the
viewers and say that is why we booked Stephen
today. We knew it was going to be his four year
anniversary. And so that's what we're celebrating.
I got to ask you right out of the gate then.
What was that first open mic like? How bad did
you bomb? Actually, I had a very, very friendly
room, so I did okay because the power of friendship
is better than the power of punchlines. But it
was a lot of fun. I ran through four and a half
minutes of material in about two and a half,
the same way that one normally would when they're
afraid of every word that's about to come out
of their mouth. Any of those original jokes still
stick around? Any of them? One of them. Yes,
one of them. That's awesome. Only recently that
I started phasing it out a little bit just because
I've been telling it for four years. Sure. That's
fantastic. When I'm still kicking around in the
master set. I love it. You got to have a hit
once in a while. You know what I mean? Yeah,
you got to hold on to those three or four that
you know they're guaranteed laughter. Yeah. And
even if you don't put them in the set, you leave
them in your back pocket in case you start bombing.
And then you're just like, I'm going to throw
this joke about old people's vaginas. What's
bombing? I've never done that. No, I don't know
either. What's bombing? That sounds very violent.
You know, Steven, what I love about you other
than you as a person, and I think you're just
an amazing dude, I love watching you work because
every comedian has a different process, different
cadence, different style, whatever you want to
call it. What I love is you... You can see your
evolution if you go back to the videos That you
put out on your tik -tok which will will tag
your your handles on all that, you know Obviously
like any comedian, you know, you were good, but
you you watch yourself just get better and better
and better But it wasn't by doing shows like
you've done the work of hitting open mics I feel
like at this point you're doing a comedy Five
seven days a week. I don't even know. What do
you do? What's your schedule like with that?
I would say most weeks it's between, you know,
two to five times a week. That's great. Depending
on the mic schedule that's available. That's
wild. The weather, yeah. Yeah, that's the way
to go. I mean, I know a lot of comedians who,
like myself, don't have... the schedule anymore
to be able to do that at the moment, or they
don't care to do that. And I just see you putting
in the work, man. And I just want to tell you,
if I haven't already, I respect that so much.
It's like one of those athletes that's like,
you know, I go to the gym three hours a day.
When you had the schedule, you weren't doing
mics either. I know. I never just did the mics.
No. and it shows. He is the Mike. Yeah, I am
the Mike. No, but I met you through homebrewed
comedy. We've had Mike Peters on the show. We've
talked about homebrewed. It's fantastic. But
you're you're doing a little booking of your
own now, right? Talk about that. Yeah, I run
a monthly open mic and two monthly shows at Crooked
Mouth Brewing in Endicott. And we're doing just
one show a month. Then. Towards the end of last
year. We started transitioning to two shows a
month including like a brunch show Wow, and we
had the festival last year We're doing that again
this year in October. So it's a lot of fun We've
got some some big names lined up coming through
really exciting like guys who are like theater
comics coming in and doing our little bar So
that's a little fun. That's awesome. Anybody
you can tell us yet or no, is it still kind of
a secret? The biggest one coming up is a Jim
Florentine That's fantastic I actually did a
couple shows with him when I started comedy.
I was the house emcee at a comedy club, and he
came through a bunch. I love that dude, and I'm
a big Howard Stern fan, so he was a big part
of that show, too. It's awesome. I want to go
back a little bit. Sure. Because I noticed on
your bio, and even though we're friends now,
we never really talked about this, I didn't know
you two were involved in music before comedy.
You never heard of you two? No, I've heard of
YouTube. I never heard of YouTube until I got
that iPhone. Yeah. No. Yeah. When I came up,
I grew up going to punk rock shows and stuff
like that. And I was sick of driving to New Jersey
to go see the bands I wanted to see. So I just
started booking them to come play Binghamton.
That's perfect. Make them come to you. I love
this guy. Yeah. Yeah. So we did it a few times.
We had some bands that got like Pretty big. Come
through, like, you know, like A .F .I., the Ataris,
stuff like that. That's awesome. All over MTV
and everything. We're coming through and doing
our dingy skate parks and bars. That was a lot
of fun. So you were booking the shows? Booking
them. I played very, very poorly in some bands.
There is some very bad video on YouTube of me
drop kicking a buddy because we had no talent.
So we had to put on a show another way. And we
will be showing that clip in post -production.
Absolutely. I'll get you the link. Get me the
link. It's bad. That's fantastic. Did you play
guitar? Sing? What did you do? I played guitar.
You played guitar. Nice. I played guitar. I wore
white air walks. That was very cool. Ah, dude,
air walks. That's sweet. Remember the air walks?
I do. That's the coolest bands. I feel like they
were comfortable. I don't remember. There was
one that it just felt like you were stepping
on like a... A boulder like it. Yeah, there's
some of these trendy shoes are the worst Yeah,
they're the worst but air walks were like chucks
are horrible. I love chucks the most uncomfortable
sneaker on the planet Yes, I love chucks too.
Anyway, actually aren't you? Welcome to sneaker
totally having to transition out of my dunks
because I have you know, I'm old and fat so I
need more support I'm coming to air max guy and
they're all so ugly. It pains me you you are
a sneaker guy though, aren't you? Am yeah, how
many how many shoes you have least you're not
rocking the New Balance yet? I've got a couple
pairs of NB's We support the NB's around here
Hundred pair yeah, and you will Transition like
you'll you'll go through that and just pick different
pairs of shoes Or you like shelf them and they're
retired. You know what I mean? I wear them I
wear them, I transition them daily. What's your
fancy pair? There's certain ones I won't take
out when there's puddles. You know that. What's
like the pair, if you really want to dress up,
what's the fanciest pair you got? My favorite
pair would be the Jordan High Palaminos. They're
like a chocolate and black. All right. What if
you're going on a date? Depends on what matches
my shirt vest. See, this guy, this guy. This
is the real deal. He's not fucking around. I
thought it was only basketball players that were
on TV cribs that had this, what do you call it?
Don't you remember Turtle from Entourage? I do
remember. He was like the original sneakerhead.
He was. That was a great show. It was a phenomenal
show. Not a good movie, but great show. I'm like
that with hoodies. You are a hoodie. I'm like
the hoodie connoisseur. Yeah, that's that's for
sure. But yeah, it breaks my heart We're going
out of hoodie season because when it comes t
-shirt time, you can start seeing my titties
again I'm a hundred percent with you do My favorite
part of the year. He's speaking a lot of truth
right now. Absolutely. So Started booking bands
You started playing in a band how did you and
obviously we know you four years ago is when
you What inspired you to transition over to comedy?
You're obviously very funny Thank you So shortly
after I got divorced, I guess it was a while
after. It's been a long time. But I reconnected
with a buddy who also was going through a divorce.
And the only time we both had a night off without
our kids was every other Monday. So we started
going to the Kelly's Open, Mike, just to hang
out and have a beer. And we probably went to
those for about a year and a half before I ever
went up. And he started seeing a girl named Emily,
who also happens to be her birthday today. Happy
birthday, Emily. Look at this. She told me, she
said, hey, in three weeks, it's my birthday.
You're always funny at the table. You need to
go do a set for my birthday. Oh, wow. So she
gave me three weeks to write that set. And then
for her birthday is when I went up and I did
the mic. And you had you had no interest in doing
comedy before she made you do that? At that point,
I'd gone to the the dipping my toes in the water
where I had like the no tap of funny thoughts.
Sure. But I never thought I'd have the hood spun
to go actually up and do it. And do you do you
find because, you know, the big thing is like,
just because you're funny at the table doesn't
mean you can be funny on stage. Did you know?
Were you kind of like caught off guard? Did you
go in thinking like, oh, yeah, I'm funny. I'll
be able to do this. And then realizing, oh, wow,
this is a lot harder. No, I knew it was going
to be hard, except we've been sitting there watching.
I've been a fan of comedy forever. I'd already
been going to Mike shows here and there. I've
been watching the Mike. So we watch people develop
material and understanding is very different
than just like. Bullshitting with your buddies
sure, you know cuz everyone's funny with their
friends because you have so much of a shared
frame of reference That's right. Absolutely.
So the biggest thing from going to being funny
with your friends to be able to write a joke
is How to get that premise out as concisely as
possible? Because if you have to give you know,
six to eight sentences of setup your joke sucks.
That's right You know, it's too much for you
to keep track of you can't have them doing the
mental math for you That's right. And you know,
the other part of that too is And again, I always
talk about how in comedy, being an audience member
is way more psychological than people realize.
And when you're with your buddies, it's easier
for them to laugh, again, because you have a
shared frame of reference, but also because they
know already in the back of their head that you're
funny and what you're about to say is going to
be funny. When you're up there in front of a
crowd that doesn't know you, they don't know
if you're funny yet. They're judging you through
the first, you know, 30 seconds to a minute.
And it doesn't always translate. Well, that's
in the psychology of shows, too. It's one of
the reasons where the crooked mouth shows like
instead of doing like a budget from the bar,
we do a paid ticket because a paid audience member
is a better audience member. Absolutely. That's
exactly right. Now, because they all have that
shared incentive now like, oh, no, I spent money
to be here. They're paying to have a good time.
They want to have a good time. Yeah, I mean,
I always talk about how, you know, I worked in
music venues and bars where they wanted to do
a comedy night and have it, you know, oh, we'll
just have someone get up there during happy hour.
And I kind of explained that same thing where
it was like, dude, you know, when you can't just
pop up and do comedy in the middle of a happy
hour, people are going to just... you're interrupting
their drinking. It doesn't work that way. If
you, you know, if you bill it as a comedy show,
you sell tickets, you have seats, people don't
realize it, but on the way to the show, they're
already getting ready to laugh, and they don't
even know that yet because, you know what I mean?
So, it's just, the psychological aspect is so
important and true. Let's talk about crooked
mouth, though. So, are you... Only booking at
is that the only venue you're booking for or
are you doing other venues as well? No, that
that's it They are so fantastic to work with
it's really spoiled me on working with anybody
else I've done a couple one -offs here or there
and it was fine, but I just I love working with
these guys It's so rare to have a venue that
really backs you They do their own paid advertising
for the shows They give me carte blanche do whatever
I want to do with the shows, which is amazing
But I mean, we've been doing it for two years
there. We built up a lot of mutual trust. Or
if I say, no, this is going to be good. This
guy's worth, you know, ponying up the extra money
or something like that. They get on board and
they trust me. And it's just awesome having like
a real partner, not just something they deal
with three days a week or three times a month.
You know, you're right, because, you know, I
did a show at Crook in Mouth with Stephen. And
when I met the owner, unless I'm thinking it's
the wrong guy, correct me if I'm wrong. I've
never met an owner. He is not a comedian. But
he loves comedy. Is that the right guy, right?
Yeah, Josh. He's obsessed with comedy. He watches
comedy. He studies comedy. He's kind of like
those friends that you had that never played
an instrument, but like like an Andy Lamaca.
Yeah. But just knew everything about music and
they were sure a rock star without being a rock
star. The owner of Crooked Mouth Brewing is.
Is big is a comedian as much as you can be without
actually being a comedian and that really helps
it for you I'm sure oh Yeah, one of the reasons
he said he wanted to have a brewery so he could
do comedy at it. That's amazing We all took a
trip to go see Nate Bargassi together, so my
first time meeting him was comedy really that's
awesome Well, and you do such a great job there.
Are there set dates that you can plug now that
you do shows there or open months? Yeah. We have
Patrick Holbert coming to headline on April 18th,
and he has his new special coming out on Amazon
on April 22nd. Awesome. Then on May 4th, we have
our next brunch show. Gray West is going to be
headlining that. He's done festivals all over
the country. He's the regular host at The Comedy
Cellar. He's there three or four nights a week.
So obviously you don't get past there without
being legit. That's for sure. We got Cody Montane
coming in May from Albany. Very funny guy. Jim
Florentine. And then we were booked all the way
through November. We had the festival. All the
headliners are booked on that. Some excellent
comics, some nice names. But we're not going
to release those just yet. And are you doing,
in addition to that, are you doing your own shows
or are you just kind of doing your time at these
shows opening it up? Oh, I have like other dates
going everywhere else Yeah, but this is kind
of like I use crooked mouth is kind of my writing
unfortunately every show there for me is like
an open mic No, that's always the worst person
I'd every show because they have so many repeat
customers Where I try to have like a new eight
to ten minutes for that every month No, but I
think that see this is brilliant. That's a lot
of work It is a lot of work, but see this is
such a fantastic thing for any comedian to have
which is you know we've talked about this on
the show to where In music, it's like you can
rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, and then you kind
of know when you're ready. The only way to rehearse
in comedy is to get in front of people and do
it. But that's not always easy to find venues
or open mics or get booked on shows to do that.
Sure. I think that's fantastic. You have, you
know, booking for Crooked Mouth Brewing. You
now have all these shows to kind of tighten that
material out, try it out, and then you... Go
do your own dates. I love that for you. What
dates do you have coming up? I want to make sure
we plug those as well. I have to look. Excuse
me while I look at my phone because I don't have
it memorized. I'm just going to guess. May 10th.
I'll tell you if you're right. No, not May 10th.
Oh, let's see. He's off that day. We've got I'm
going to be up at a contest in Syracuse on April
25th. That's right. Yeah. And it's going to be
a lot, but there's like 15 comics on it. They've
already sold 200 tickets. That's going to be
a lot of fun. Where is that? April. That is at
the Polish home, I think. I'm a judge on that
show. Are you really? Yeah. Well, what a conflict
of interest. The next thing after that is on
April 29th, I'm going to do Molly with my friend
Stormy. I'm excited for that. That's how you
know you're old, when you're scheduling doing
drugs. Oh, you're really, you're doing Molly.
He's serious. I thought it was a gimp thing.
Okay, holy shit, okay, yeah, we're doing Molly.
I mean, he's right though, you gotta plan these
things out. Yeah. Yeah, got the day off of work,
make sure we're hydrated, time for a nap before
the kids get around. Smart. See, drug dealers
are not bad people, they are smart people. All
right. Crooked mouth you also have a festival
coming up. Yes, sir. Yeah, you mentioned a couple
times I want to hear you know, obviously you
can't give us the lineup, but tell us just what
is this? Festival that you mentioned a few times.
Yeah. Well last year in February I think it was
I went to do a festival down in the Hudson Valley
and it was terrible and I was like oh I Can do
at least better than this and that's when the
germ of the idea started And we ended up just
picking a date six months out and we did five
shows over four days. They all sold out. We had,
you know, comics from all over coming through.
We had over 50 comics on it all together. And
I learned that was too many. So we're going to
cut that down a little bit this year, but it's
going to be from October 16th through the 19th.
All the shows will be right in the same spot.
We're going to do a Thursday, a Friday, two Saturdays,
and of course the Sunday brunch. And I'm just
looking forward to really stacking up that lineup.
This last year was kind of for the homies a little
bit Pretty much anyone who helped build this
scene at crooked mouth to make this even a possibility
If you want to be a part of it, I'm happy to
have you there, but it was just too many people
Yeah So this year we're gonna cut that down to
hopefully about 30 comics give everyone a little
bit of a longer set and I just want people to
show up and see Killers from start to finish
not just the headline. Yeah, but everyone's coming
to bring in their best eight to ten minutes and
yours getting you know laugh, laugh, laugh from
dough. And is that, you know, as a festival,
is that something that somebody can get tickets
to multiple nights kind of simultaneously? Or
how's that? Yeah, we did individual tickets or
we did weekend passes at a significant discount.
That's awesome. And anyone who bought the weekend
pass will do it again this year. Also got like
a festival t -shirt. So that's great. Now, you
also are involved. Well, you're involved with
a lot of things, but in addition to the Crooked
Mouth and then the Crooked Mouth Festival, all
the dates, you also, I've noticed you've been
doing a lot of, or some stage time at the Funny
Bone. Are you there regularly? What's going on
there? That's right here in Cuse. Yeah, I've
been lucky enough to crack the rotation as a
regular host up there. Usually get up there once
every two or three months, which is great. Cause
again, it gives me time to take that new material
I've written over the last few months and really
test it out in front of, you know, we love, you
know, I know, you know, like you love doing a
show for 20 to 40 people. Those are great, but
really taking the training wheels off those jokes
and doing in front of 300 people. It's a lot
of money to be is really like a good test of,
okay, is this. Yeah, this is work or you really
know yeah when you step into I started in a comedy
club I went the other way I started in a club
and then you know now things are different right
you can do it at breweries you can do it at the
Polish home you know there's pop -up comedy everywhere
but back in the day it was like you had to do
it in a comedy club and I don't care how ready
you think you are when those lights go down and
there's you know anywhere from 100 to 300 people
that have paid money to see and it's like a show
show with an mc and the music plays and you walk
up that's intimidating and uh that's different
animal that's what separates the the boys from
the men i guess is what they so to speak and
about a month ago i had the opportunity i was
hosting for josh blue oh yeah was incredible
and um you know all sold out shows it was really
the first time i was like oh i i belong up here
But then you know this comedy humbles you very
very quickly. They had to come back to host for
a tiktok superstar And when I tell you I eat
the biggest shit of my life Oh in front of those
300 mooks who just wanted to talk about meatballs.
Oh That it was really bad. I love good bombing
stories. I always ask comedians Do you have a
great bombing story? Not because I want to like
laugh at you Because I get it, and you know,
as a comedian, you love hearing bombing stories,
because you all have to do it. It's a rite of
passage, you know? There is very, very few things
that are more fun than bombing in front of your
friends and just sharing that. I know. Like,
I remember at that show, that Sunday show I went
to, my buddy Jerry came up, and I got two laughs.
Like, I crushed all weekend, and this time I
got two laughs on a pee -jitty joke, and when
I said, you hate me, I'm going to hang myself.
That crush. And then I come off and Jerry's just
shaking his head like, that was bad. Yeah. I
know it. Yeah. It's great. It's good to have
that attitude, though, because if you can just
accept that, like, hey, this is part of the deal.
I've never met a successful comedian who hasn't
bombed or or is still bombing. Yeah. It's just
if you can embrace it as it's it's hilarious
because listen, there's been times where it's
debilitating, where, like he said, you crush,
you crush. And then you have this show where
you just. You bomb. Yeah. And it is hard not
to just want to quit right then and there. It's
tough. So I love that you have that attitude
about it. One of my favorite things you ever
did when we talked about this with Mike was when
you created the funeral for Mike Peters and we
basically did. Oh, he was one of the guys behind
that. He was the guy behind. Oh, wow. It's a
hired all of us to to to do it. And it was a
wild success. Yeah, hired. But. I wouldn't have
paid us anyway. What are you still doing shows
like that? Or do you have any other kind of gimmicky
shows like that coming up? No, I had last summer,
I had a guy coming up and he was a Braves fan.
They're playing the Mets that weekend. And I
had made a bet that whichever team won, the other
comic would get a tattoo of the other person's
choice during their set at the show that night.
So he backed out. Dude one of my quick quick
story is one time I'm Coming up to do a show
Through a homebrewed comedy and I walk in and
Stevens there With his kids and I'm thinking.
Oh, hey, buddy. What are you on the show? He
says no, I'm just here to that's the other cool
part is he'll just come out and support sure
but he's got his kids there and This happened
to be the set where I had like four jokes about
cum And it was the most uncomfortable set. But
you were like, no, no, no, it's fine, man. They've
heard all heard it all. But I just remember as
I'm telling the thing, I don't want to say this
word. I can see the kids sitting there. But so
thanks. We say come all the time, right? Yeah.
My 14 year old is walking through the kitchen
right now, even though I told them not to while
I was recording this podcast. We say come all
the time, right? He says he's dying. So that's
fantastic. Before we get out of here. Is there
anything you wanted to ask or add? No, I think
this has been awesome, man. It's really, I love
hearing the stories of how people come up and
find success in this. Because honestly, so many
people don't, unfortunately. It doesn't work
out for them, or they just don't get the passion
for it. And we meet the folks that do. And work
hard at it. Yeah, and turn it into a business.
I've got nothing but respect for that. He's not
trying to get rich, being Chris Rock. He's figured
out how to help other comedians and probably
make a little bit of a living in the process,
and I think that's pretty awesome. It is awesome,
and that's kind of the recipe I think everybody,
I made the mistake early on of not looking at
it this way, and I know you do too, Steven, is
that, you know. If you were in it for the money
or the fame, you would quit the second day because
it doesn't work that way. You've got to do it
because you love it. You've got to put the work
in. And if you're funny, the success will come
along. That's it. That's pretty much it. No.
And I think one thing I want to say, piggyback,
is no one gets any success doing this on their
own back. That's right. Right. Obviously, anyone
who's had success, they're doing the work. But
without Mike Peters, without Joe Becker, without
the funny bone, without Dave Dayo, all these
other people, Jason Gowan at the Legacy Lounge,
all these local places are really making it a
point to support the local scene, give each other
time and grow this together. Because that's the
biggest thing. You know, we don't have places
to do this and people will. Running shows sucks.
It's the worst. It's stressful. It's not fun.
You know, worrying about other people's money.
It's terrible. Yeah, but. You know getting to
give people their first show is really fun or
have bringing a headline area That's never done
the town before to have them come out with crush
It feels great that you're giving the community
something valuable, especially since the boho
closed down Mike has is don't tell but there's
not a lot of Comedy going on in Brim County proper
So it's nice to be able to kind of fill that
void. You're so right about Booking show sucking
because I've had like five opportunities where
someone's called me. They've heard my name They
want to book me and they want me to set up a
show and I just push it off onto Mike. Maybe
I'll start pushing it off on you, because I know,
like, I just want to do my set. I don't want
to go down. Yeah. When I was in my band, I was
the booking agent, the singer, the songwriter,
everything. And it was too much. And so, yeah,
I get it. That's why I respect even more what
you do. Is there somewhere we can go to get all
these dates that we talked about? I wrote them
down, so we'll make sure we put them in the caption,
in the comments. What's your website? Website,
social handles, what do you got? Linktree, OnlyFans,
all that fun. Put it all, right? The comedy's
website is cricketmouthcomedyfest .com. I'm on
socials at Stephen Brown on Facebook. Otherwise,
it's SteveisJewish on TikTok and Instagram. And
YouTube. All right, my man, Stephen Brown, friend,
comedian, promoter. We love you. I'll be seeing
you soon. Good luck with everything, buddy. We
love having you on. Really enjoyed you, man.
Come back any time. Yeah, seriously, come back
and put up those things. Yeah, all right. And
we'll be back. I've got a little something I
want to do with you regarding some sports. Interesting.
On Good News York after this. Peace out. All
right, so you want to, you want to see how dumb
of a sports guy I am not, I guess? I don't. Did
you just have a stroke? I might have. Those were
all words. What the hell? What the fuck are we
doing? That's what I'm trying to figure out here.
I'll tell you what the fuck we're doing. God
damn it. It is the Thursday of the Masters tournament.
The Masters is the most coveted tournament in
golf, maybe even in sports. It's a huge deal.
OK. So I'm excited. I was going to wear a green
jacket. Is it a Tiger Woods thing? Is he still
in it? Great start. Yes and no. He plays golf,
right? Yes, he does. Okay. So, for those of you
that don't know, Matt does not follow sports.
And that's okay. I'm a computer nerd. Yeah, and
we love you for that. Yeah. Right? Because when
we're all watching golf... Much more money in
that. Yes. And when we're watching golf and it
goes out and we're like, I can't get it to work,
I'm trying to... We call you. So, anyway... You
become an expert in golf simulators, I'll tell
you that. Those are great. Yeah. Thought it would
be fun if I just throw out some some golf terms.
Okay. All right, specifically golf not other
sports. Nope Okay, great. Yep. That's it. I want
to make it a little easier. That's fair and I
don't want you to overthink it Oh, I won't try
like just tell me what if you want to try to
get the right answer, obviously That's fine.
But I'm trying to define these words. Yeah, just
tell me what you think. What do you think they
are? Okay. All right. I love this All right.
Here we go. All right. So if you are golfing
and you are to get A birdie. A birdie. Yeah.
My immediate thought is that it was a good swing
and you somehow hit a bird that was in the air.
Sure. Sure. I actually do know it has something
to do with scoring of some sort, but I'm not
honestly sure what that means. Maybe it can't
be a hole in one, right? No. So maybe it's maybe
slightly, you know, maybe a hole in two. Okay,
you're actually, unfortunately, it's not that
funny because you're not far on. Okay, what is
it? The idea is each hole has its own par, so
if it's a par four, that means you have to get
it there in four strokes to get par. But if you
get a three, that's a birdie. With that being
said, what is a bogey? It's not the big scary
guy that stands in the crowd in Happy Gilmore?
No. I actually have no idea a bogey also scoring
if it's a par four and you get a five Okay, so
it's like one over That's it. Okay, or a double
bogey if you're two over. All right. All right.
I kind of already told you what par was seems
excessive You know at what point do we stop saying
book? Can you go to like a four bogey? At that
point you can go to triple bogey and then it's
just four over it seems except I call it anyway
bogey because that's how I shoot Yeah, uh, I
think you know this one. You kind of alluded
Hole in one yeah, I mean that's fuck come on.
It's in the fucking words. I well you never know
What is the fair way the? It's got to be part
of the the grass there, you know I'm think okay.
I'm gonna guess that it's like The the stretch
between where you hit in and the green like the
in between that's gonna be my guess Damn it.
You're too smart. See computer nerds figure shit
out I mean, yes, the fairway is the ideal spot
that you want your ball to land between the T
I won't tell you what that's called between the
place where you hit. Yeah. Yeah and and the green.
Okay. Okay. Okay I used to have a roommate back
in the day who used to say I could watch golf,
but I'd rather be bored And I fully agreed. That's
fair. Okay. What is the tea box? It's got to
be where you stand to tea off, right? God damn
it, man. Yes, the tea box is where you drive,
you know, or tea off. That's where British guys
get their drink. Now we're gonna rev it up though.
Okay, here we go. We've got four more. Alright.
Hit me. What is a slice? There's gotta be something
to do when you hit it. I'm gonna say you hit
it off to the side. God damn it, man. Yes, if
you're right -handed and you slice it, it...
Is it intentional though, or is it something
you do accidentally? Okay. If you're a real good
golfer, you can say, I'm going to give it a little
slice so it goes. But typically when you slice
it, it's a bad thing. I'm left handed and if
I hit it and it goes like that, that's a slice.
This is way less funny than I thought it would
be, but I'm impressed. What is a divot? It's
got to be like a hole in the grass. Like you
swing and yes, it's a hole in my heart now because
you're fucking this whole segment up. Yes It's
when you I've heard that term before I'm sorry
it's fine No, this is what I'm testing you and
clearly you're better than I thought so you know
what a putt is Well, yeah, the putt putt is what
they call every mini golf course on the planet
so okay, and then last but not least What is
a shank? I like that you think I didn't know
what putt was. Well, I just kind of wrote it
down. A shank is a homemade weapon that people
in prison use to kill each other. Yes. And no.
Yes. Golfers shank each other too? I don't know.
It's a more violent game than I thought. No.
Arnold Palmer was the worst. He would just come
up drinking toilet wine and he would take a blade
and just... I genuinely have no idea what it
means in the context of golf. You know, honestly,
a shank is almost, it's like a slice or a pull.
It's just when you shank it, you hit it. It's
another bad hit? Yeah, just like... All right.
See, I had no idea. Dude, you... I learned on
that. You should not be upset. I'm upset because
I thought this was going to be funnier. I should
know. You're just too smart. I've never played
a round of golf in my life. Well, we're going
to do that. I'd live across the street from a
golf course. What? Dude, I'm gonna murder you.
Wait till you find out I'm also a member. You
are? I'm telling you right now, any golfers that
are watching are furious. Yeah. You'd be killed
to live that close to a course and have a membership.
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna murder you.
I'm gonna shank you. I gotta go be an IT guy,
so. Well, you're the best I know, and the best
there is. It's true. All right, Mike Brindisi,
Matt Mazer, this is Good News York. The Masters
is on this weekend. We'll be back Monday with
a brand new show. You can tell me who got shanked.
I will tell you who got shanked. Awesome. Yeah,
we'll do that. Cool. Hopefully it's not Tiger.
He's got way too much child support. He's not
golfing right now. Oh, is he retired? Is this
kid golfing? Is he one of these guys who's now
starting to golf? It's NEPO baby time. It's NEPO
baby time. We're getting there. Awesome. Is he
any good? Yes, very, very good. They've done
some pro -ams together. Genetic? Are they going
to just start cloning him to make, you know...
Well, they put their... The PGA is going to put
their DNA on ice somewhere? The PGA... I would
imagine... They're going to grow tigers. ...a
form of secret service to guard this kid because
ratings, dollars... Yeah. It's just got to keep
the women away from him. Yes. Well, right now,
I don't think, biologically, he could do anything
with him. He's still pretty young. How old is
he? Twelve? Is he that young? 12, 13, maybe 11?
I don't know. Oh shit. We'll have to look it
up. I thought he was an older teenager. But yeah,
no, but they have golfed together at like these
these kind of Pro -M events and they put their
swing side -by -side. There was this one time
not only did they swing... He's probably been
being trained from before he could walk. Exactly.
But I mean they even did like the same reaction.
It's absolutely stunning. There was a very wholesome
moment which you can look up. From so on Wednesday
of the Masters it starts on every golf tournament
goes Thursday to Sunday, but for the Masters
on Wednesday They have a par three tournament
Which is where they just play par three holes
and and caddies can play and and golfers play
and their kids play anyway the Daughter who had
to be four years old Rory McElroy's daughter
four years old Putts like she just kind of taps
it And everybody's watching. Now, the greens
at Augusta, which is the course for the Masters,
are known as the most pristine greens in the
world, okay? Like, I'm talking, it's like putting
on a parking lot. They're very fast. She taps
this thing. This guy really likes golf. I love
it. And at four years old, the thing falls in.
She putted like a 20 -foot putt. Whoa, wrap up
trap. Wrap up trap? I don't get it. All right.
You're gonna Chappelle wrap it up box. Bye. I'm
Matt. He's Mike. We love you guys. Merry Christmas