WEBVTT 00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:36.439 Yes, you are not believing this, but I am back. 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:44.560 It's been a while. It has been a while. I've 00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:48.500 gone back and forth a lot on how to do this episode. 00:00:50.179 --> 00:00:53.939 Because I didn't want to come back with some 00:00:53.939 --> 00:01:00.219 big polished speech. act like everything I've 00:01:00.219 --> 00:01:04.239 got everything figured out because honestly I 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:10.540 haven't nowhere near life's been heavy for me 00:01:10.540 --> 00:01:18.599 this last few months big part of that being real 00:01:18.599 --> 00:01:27.530 has been my health as a lot of you know I've 00:01:27.530 --> 00:01:31.670 been struggling with my knee the last few weeks 00:01:31.670 --> 00:01:43.930 and more general ongoing pain that you know and 00:01:43.930 --> 00:01:49.129 that chronic illness side of life where even 00:01:49.129 --> 00:01:53.129 if you're still functioning it still wears you 00:01:53.129 --> 00:01:57.560 down so That is where I've been mentally and 00:01:57.560 --> 00:02:01.799 physically the last god knows how many months 00:02:01.799 --> 00:02:10.099 since I last did this. I think that's something 00:02:10.099 --> 00:02:15.120 people don't always see properly. They still 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:19.580 they see still going to work, still posting, 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:28.060 still trying, still showing up. But they don't 00:02:28.060 --> 00:02:33.060 see the cost of it. They don't see what it's 00:02:33.060 --> 00:02:37.900 like when walking hurts, when standing too long 00:02:37.900 --> 00:02:42.039 hurts, when simple things feel harder than they 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:49.259 should. When your body starts deciding for you 00:02:49.259 --> 00:02:55.729 what kind of day you're going to have, And that 00:02:55.729 --> 00:03:01.150 gets in your head. It really does. It's not just 00:03:01.150 --> 00:03:03.750 the physical pain, is it? It's frustration, it's 00:03:03.750 --> 00:03:10.389 tiredness. It's feeling limited. It's feeling 00:03:10.389 --> 00:03:15.330 like your body is arguing with life while you're 00:03:15.330 --> 00:03:20.750 trying to live it. And I think that's been one 00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:23.669 of the biggest things for me lately. Not just 00:03:23.669 --> 00:03:29.389 the pain itself, but the mental side of it. The 00:03:29.389 --> 00:03:34.449 way it chips away at you, at your mood. The way 00:03:34.449 --> 00:03:37.650 it affects your patience. The way it can knock 00:03:37.650 --> 00:03:40.990 your confidence a bit. The way it can make you 00:03:40.990 --> 00:03:47.568 feel less like yourself. Especially when someone's... 00:03:48.259 --> 00:03:52.620 used to pushing through like myself, especially, 00:03:52.939 --> 00:03:55.400 you know, when you're used to being the strong 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:59.719 one, the one who keeps going, the one who gets 00:03:59.719 --> 00:04:06.120 on with it, the one who carries on anyway. Because 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:10.300 when that starts getting harder, it does something 00:04:10.300 --> 00:04:18.370 to you. You start. grieving little things, not 00:04:18.370 --> 00:04:24.629 always in some dramatic, massive way, just quietly. 00:04:26.110 --> 00:04:33.870 You grieve ease. You grieve freedom. You grieve 00:04:33.870 --> 00:04:37.370 the version of yourself that didn't have to think 00:04:37.370 --> 00:04:42.149 about every step or every walk or every outing, 00:04:42.269 --> 00:04:45.800 every plan. in terms of how much it's going to 00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:54.040 cost you mentally and physically and that's hard 00:04:54.040 --> 00:05:00.680 I don't think we talk enough about the mental 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:05.480 health side of physical pain because chronic 00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:08.740 pain or long -term health issues don't just sit 00:05:08.740 --> 00:05:13.350 in your body They spill into everything else. 00:05:14.350 --> 00:05:19.350 They affect how you think, how you feel, how 00:05:19.350 --> 00:05:24.189 much energy you've got, how social you feel. 00:05:26.709 --> 00:05:33.350 How hopeful you feel. How much of yourself you've 00:05:33.350 --> 00:05:39.589 got left. Especially by the end of the day. And 00:05:39.589 --> 00:05:45.220 I think for a while if if I'm honest um I've 00:05:45.220 --> 00:05:46.920 been trying to keep my head above water with 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:51.259 it um still doing life still doing work still 00:05:51.259 --> 00:05:54.819 being there for people still trying to be me 00:05:54.819 --> 00:06:02.459 but the fire definitely went quieter not gone 00:06:02.459 --> 00:06:08.680 just quieter and I think it's also worth saying 00:06:09.569 --> 00:06:13.230 Even though I've been quiet in some ways, that 00:06:13.230 --> 00:06:16.550 doesn't mean that nothing's been happening. Because 00:06:16.550 --> 00:06:18.930 one of the big things that happened since this 00:06:18.930 --> 00:06:23.370 podcast last had a proper life in it, I wrote 00:06:23.370 --> 00:06:28.170 a book. And that still feels a bit mad to say 00:06:28.170 --> 00:06:33.639 out loud, if I'm honest. The Sagas of the Pink 00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:37.899 Persuader became a real thing. A real book. Something 00:06:37.899 --> 00:06:43.000 I actually put out into the world. I'm genuinely 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:48.459 proud of that. Not in an arrogant way. Just in 00:06:48.459 --> 00:06:52.279 a real way. Because it came from a real place. 00:06:54.019 --> 00:06:59.279 It came from pain. Reflection. Healing. Struggling. 00:07:00.779 --> 00:07:08.819 resilience hope all of it and I don't it wasn't 00:07:08.819 --> 00:07:14.660 about trying to look impressive it wasn't it 00:07:14.660 --> 00:07:18.779 was it was about trying to create something honest 00:07:18.779 --> 00:07:23.899 that might help people feel seen so even while 00:07:23.899 --> 00:07:28.100 I've been quieter the message hasn't stopped 00:07:28.910 --> 00:07:31.850 It's just been showing up in different ways. 00:07:32.410 --> 00:07:36.050 And I think the book is a massive part of that. 00:07:37.370 --> 00:07:39.730 Because for me, The Pink Persuader has never 00:07:39.730 --> 00:07:43.810 been about pretending life is easy. It's about 00:07:43.810 --> 00:07:48.889 telling the truth and the battles and still trying 00:07:48.889 --> 00:07:54.649 to create something meaningful from that. So, 00:07:54.990 --> 00:07:59.540 yeah, if you didn't know before. Now you do. 00:08:01.100 --> 00:08:08.279 There is a book and it means a lot to me. I suppose 00:08:08.279 --> 00:08:09.800 this is the part where I should tell you where 00:08:09.800 --> 00:08:16.699 you can buy that book if if you so wish to. If 00:08:16.699 --> 00:08:20.600 you would like to purchase my book and read it, 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:24.100 then it is available through Amazon. You can 00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:27.680 read it through Kindle Unlimited. You can buy 00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:29.759 a paperback or you can buy a hardback all through 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:33.879 Amazon. The only thing I ever ask is that if 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:36.379 you buy my book, please make sure you review 00:08:36.379 --> 00:08:38.639 it and you give me some real honest feedback 00:08:38.639 --> 00:08:41.840 that I can work on because I am working on book 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:45.419 number two. I am not an accomplished author. 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:50.720 I am still learning. So your feedback is so important. 00:08:55.080 --> 00:09:01.120 I suppose that's the part of what this return 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:05.879 is to bring in all those pieces back together 00:09:05.879 --> 00:09:10.720 because I didn't want to come back pretending 00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:15.340 everything's sorted now I didn't want to come 00:09:15.340 --> 00:09:18.620 back with some fake and here are these five lessons 00:09:18.620 --> 00:09:23.830 that pain has taught me kind of speech I didn't 00:09:23.830 --> 00:09:29.190 want to package it all up neatly. Actually, I'm 00:09:29.190 --> 00:09:36.830 still in it. I'm still figuring out. I'm still 00:09:36.830 --> 00:09:40.169 learning how to live alongside pain without letting 00:09:40.169 --> 00:09:44.970 it completely rob me of myself. I'm still learning 00:09:44.970 --> 00:09:48.690 how to deal with the frustration when my body 00:09:48.690 --> 00:09:52.879 won't do what I want it to do. I'm still learning 00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:56.360 how not to be angry at myself for struggling 00:09:56.360 --> 00:10:01.580 with things that used to feel a lot easier. I 00:10:01.580 --> 00:10:05.639 think that's important to say out loud. Because 00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:09.000 sometimes mental health doesn't take it, take 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:18.659 a hint. Sometimes it gets worn down slowly. And 00:10:18.659 --> 00:10:23.860 sometimes the pain. The stress, the exhaustion, 00:10:24.460 --> 00:10:31.159 the uncertainty can feel all too overwhelming 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:38.620 and wear you right down. And I know I won't be 00:10:38.620 --> 00:10:44.279 the only one living in that sort of space. Maybe 00:10:44.279 --> 00:10:47.379 your thing isn't knee pain. Maybe it's chronic 00:10:47.379 --> 00:10:51.889 illness. Maybe it's. burnout, maybe it's anxiety, 00:10:51.950 --> 00:10:54.590 maybe it's grief, maybe it's stress, maybe it's 00:10:54.590 --> 00:10:59.950 depression. Maybe it's just a life has been quietly 00:10:59.950 --> 00:11:04.169 battering you for longer than you've admitted. 00:11:06.970 --> 00:11:11.690 But that slow wearing down is real and it matters. 00:11:12.970 --> 00:11:16.529 I think one of the hardest parts is that when 00:11:16.529 --> 00:11:21.470 you're still functioning, People always assume 00:11:21.470 --> 00:11:29.070 you're alright and sometimes you assume it about 00:11:29.070 --> 00:11:33.730 yourself as well. You tell yourself you're fine 00:11:33.730 --> 00:11:36.289 because technically you're still doing better 00:11:36.289 --> 00:11:40.450 than what you used to or you're still doing what 00:11:40.450 --> 00:11:44.090 needs to be done. You're still getting up. You're 00:11:44.090 --> 00:11:46.750 still going out. I'm still replying to messages 00:11:46.750 --> 00:11:51.279 sometimes. I'm still smiling. I'm still making 00:11:51.279 --> 00:11:56.600 jokes. Oh, I'm still carrying on. But functioning 00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:00.679 isn't the same as feeling okay. And I think a 00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:04.480 lot of people live in that gap for a long time. 00:12:05.179 --> 00:12:10.240 That space where outwardly you look mostly all 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:16.059 right, but inwardly you're tired in a way that 00:12:16.059 --> 00:12:21.129 sleep doesn't fix. And that's a lonely place 00:12:21.129 --> 00:12:25.850 to be sometimes because it's hard to explain. 00:12:27.450 --> 00:12:30.929 It's hard to explain how pain can make you feel 00:12:30.929 --> 00:12:36.549 trapped in your own body. It's hard to explain 00:12:36.549 --> 00:12:40.669 how something like a bad knee doesn't just stay 00:12:40.669 --> 00:12:44.899 in your knee. It gets into your confidence. It 00:12:44.899 --> 00:12:47.799 gets into your mood. It gets into your plans. 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:52.220 It gets into your sense of freedom. It gets into 00:12:52.220 --> 00:13:01.399 how much of life feels easy or enjoyable. It's 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:07.879 hard to explain how wearing it is having to constantly 00:13:07.879 --> 00:13:14.789 adapt. having to think ahead, having to weigh 00:13:14.789 --> 00:13:18.049 up whether something is worth the pain afterwards, 00:13:18.649 --> 00:13:23.850 having to look normal while quietly doing those 00:13:23.850 --> 00:13:28.169 calculations all the time. And I know there'll 00:13:28.169 --> 00:13:30.830 be people listening who understand exactly that 00:13:30.830 --> 00:13:33.309 because they've been living their own version 00:13:33.309 --> 00:13:39.029 of it. And if that's you, then this bit is for 00:13:39.029 --> 00:13:48.509 you. You are not weak. You are not weak for being 00:13:48.509 --> 00:13:53.309 affected by pain. You are not lazy for being 00:13:53.309 --> 00:13:56.809 tired. You are not failing because your body 00:13:56.809 --> 00:14:01.389 is making life harder. You are not too much for 00:14:01.389 --> 00:14:05.649 finding it mentally difficult as well. Because 00:14:05.649 --> 00:14:11.210 I think a lot of us judge ourselves twice. First 00:14:11.210 --> 00:14:15.529 we deal with the actual thing, the pain, the 00:14:15.529 --> 00:14:19.850 illness, the exhaustion, the limitations, and 00:14:19.850 --> 00:14:25.730 then we beat ourselves up for not handling it 00:14:25.730 --> 00:14:30.629 better. We should be stronger. We should be more 00:14:30.629 --> 00:14:34.350 productive. We should be more positive. We should 00:14:34.350 --> 00:14:38.490 stop moaning. We should just get on with it. 00:14:41.450 --> 00:14:47.889 And all that does is pile extra weight on top 00:14:47.889 --> 00:14:53.909 of what is already heavy. I've definitely done 00:14:53.909 --> 00:14:59.909 that. Even in the last few days, I've had moments 00:14:59.909 --> 00:15:04.210 of being frustrated at my body and then also 00:15:04.210 --> 00:15:09.980 frustrated at myself for being frustrated. That 00:15:09.980 --> 00:15:16.059 is a horrible cycle because pain is tiring enough 00:15:16.059 --> 00:15:20.179 without becoming your own enemy on top of it. 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:25.120 So one thing I've really been trying to learn 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:31.840 and I say trying because I'm not pretending I've 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:36.580 nailed this is to give myself a bit more grace. 00:15:38.560 --> 00:15:42.659 Not excuses, not giving up and not wallowing, 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:49.220 just grace. Just a bit of honesty and fairness. 00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:55.279 Just recognising that this is hard sometimes 00:15:55.279 --> 00:16:01.460 and that I'm allowed to find it hard. That doesn't 00:16:01.460 --> 00:16:06.769 make me less strong, it makes me honest. And 00:16:06.769 --> 00:16:10.049 maybe that's one of the things I want this podcast 00:16:10.049 --> 00:16:16.190 to be going forward. More honest. Less polished. 00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:20.110 Less. Here's the lesson. More. This is actually 00:16:20.110 --> 00:16:24.490 what it feels like. Because I think that's what 00:16:24.490 --> 00:16:28.269 people connect with more. Not perfection. Not 00:16:28.269 --> 00:16:31.230 someone pretending they've transcended every 00:16:31.230 --> 00:16:38.429 struggle. Just truth. Just someone saying, yeah, 00:16:38.889 --> 00:16:43.570 this has been hard. And I think there's power 00:16:43.570 --> 00:16:49.870 in that. I think there's power in speaking from 00:16:49.870 --> 00:16:53.669 inside the struggle. Instead of waiting until 00:16:53.669 --> 00:16:59.139 you've perfectly finished it. because if we only 00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:02.159 ever speak when we've got all the answers, then 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:06.559 a lot of the most important conversations never 00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:11.460 happen. And I don't want this podcast to be that. 00:17:11.700 --> 00:17:14.259 I want this to be a place where the real stuff 00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:17.140 gets said, the messy stuff, the frustrating stuff, 00:17:17.180 --> 00:17:21.039 the tired stuff, the stuff people often carry 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:25.079 quietly. I want to be the place where someone 00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:28.380 can listen and think, thank the gods it's not 00:17:28.380 --> 00:17:34.740 just me because that matters feeling less alone 00:17:34.740 --> 00:17:39.480 matters especially when your head's been heavy 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:42.799 especially when your body's been fighting you 00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:47.019 especially when you've started to feel a bit 00:17:47.019 --> 00:17:51.799 disconnected from yourself and I'll be honest 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:56.019 there have definitely been moments lately Where 00:17:56.019 --> 00:17:59.700 I felt a bit disconnected from myself not fully 00:17:59.700 --> 00:18:07.980 gone not fully lost But not fully like me either 00:18:07.980 --> 00:18:14.319 And that's hard to sit with because when you 00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:19.240 build something around honesty and hope and resilience 00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:23.400 There can also be this pressure to always embody 00:18:23.400 --> 00:18:27.920 that perfectly To always be the one with the 00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:33.440 words. To always be the one to bring hope. To 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:40.039 always be the one saying the strong thing. The 00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:44.400 truth is, the pink persuader is still a person. 00:18:46.140 --> 00:18:52.839 I'm still a person. People get tired. People 00:18:52.839 --> 00:18:59.990 get worn down. people struggle people go quiet 00:18:59.990 --> 00:19:05.490 sometimes that doesn't mean the message was fake 00:19:05.490 --> 00:19:14.210 it just means I'm human too and sometimes people 00:19:14.210 --> 00:19:22.829 think that as a mental health advocate you are 00:19:22.829 --> 00:19:30.410 somehow healed and things don't get to you anymore, 00:19:30.630 --> 00:19:40.890 but I think this return means more because of 00:19:40.890 --> 00:19:48.160 that. Because I am human. Because I'm not coming 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:51.579 back as some untouched version of myself I am 00:19:51.579 --> 00:19:54.859 coming back with pain with frustration with tiredness 00:19:54.859 --> 00:20:01.720 with lessons I really didn't ask for and What 00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:05.279 I'm with a bit more understanding of how much 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:12.420 silent battles can take out of a person So if 00:20:12.420 --> 00:20:15.539 you've been feeling a bit quiet in yourself recently 00:20:16.940 --> 00:20:22.180 If you've been feeling a bit worn down. If life's 00:20:22.180 --> 00:20:26.240 been heavier than people realize. If your body, 00:20:27.140 --> 00:20:31.880 your brain or both have been making things harder. 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:38.000 I just want to say this. You do not have to wait 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:43.099 until you are fully fixed to still matter. You 00:20:43.099 --> 00:20:46.579 don't have to be thriving all the time. still 00:20:46.579 --> 00:20:52.180 be worthy. You do not have to hide your struggle 00:20:52.180 --> 00:20:56.799 just because other people can't see it properly 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:02.660 and you do not have to earn rest by completely 00:21:02.660 --> 00:21:07.200 breaking first because I think a lot of us wait 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:12.319 until we're absolutely on our arse before we 00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:18.859 admit that we need help. And then we're not just 00:21:18.859 --> 00:21:30.700 tired. We're wrecked. So many people end up wrecked. 00:21:31.900 --> 00:21:35.519 So maybe part of the strength is catching it 00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:42.299 sooner. Maybe part of the strength is being more 00:21:42.299 --> 00:21:49.599 honest. about what we are about what things are 00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:56.420 costing us maybe part of strength is adapting 00:21:56.420 --> 00:22:03.380 without shame it's trying to learn that I think 00:22:03.380 --> 00:22:08.660 I'll probably keep learning that for a while 00:22:08.660 --> 00:22:14.200 but I'd rather learn about it honestly than fake 00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:18.160 my way through it. And that's what this episode 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:22.859 really is. It's not a grand comeback speech. 00:22:23.180 --> 00:22:26.240 It's not me saying I'm all better and now I've 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.779 returned to triumph from the mountain with wisdom 00:22:30.779 --> 00:22:35.700 and polished answers. It's me saying life has 00:22:35.700 --> 00:22:39.059 been hard. Pain has affected me more mentally 00:22:39.059 --> 00:22:42.799 than Probably than I probably ever admitted. 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:49.960 The fire went quiet for a while. But never actually 00:22:49.960 --> 00:22:57.920 died. And if I'm honest, I think that. Probably. 00:23:01.940 --> 00:23:05.640 Is true for a lot of people listening as well. 00:23:06.980 --> 00:23:10.980 Sometimes your fire doesn't go out. Sometimes 00:23:10.980 --> 00:23:19.680 it just gets buried. Buried under pressure, under 00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:29.559 pain, buried under stress, disappointment, responsibilities 00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:36.579 and the effort of just trying to keep going. 00:23:39.500 --> 00:23:47.920 But buried isn't dead And think that's what I'm 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:52.180 holding on to at this minute Even when I felt 00:23:52.180 --> 00:23:56.920 lower Even when I felt more limited even when 00:23:56.920 --> 00:24:02.819 I felt frustrated and tired and not quite myself 00:24:02.819 --> 00:24:07.819 There's still something in me that wants to keep 00:24:07.819 --> 00:24:12.440 showing up There's still something in me that 00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:18.140 wants to speak honestly because Still nothing 00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:23.980 in There's something in me that wants to turn 00:24:23.980 --> 00:24:30.759 struggles into something useful Still something 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:36.880 in me that wants to connect and That matters 00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:42.549 so yeah, this is the return Not clean, not perfect, 00:24:43.630 --> 00:24:50.049 not polished, but real. And I would rather build 00:24:50.049 --> 00:24:55.109 from real than fake perfect. Every single time. 00:24:56.509 --> 00:24:59.990 So going forward, that's what I want more of. 00:25:00.529 --> 00:25:03.730 Real conversations, real mental health talk, 00:25:04.289 --> 00:25:08.759 real lived experiences. The kind of stuff that 00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:12.440 doesn't always fit neatly into a caption or a 00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:17.339 quick video. The kind of stuff that gives people 00:25:17.339 --> 00:25:21.960 room to breathe. There'll be episodes about pain, 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:25.059 about burnout, about men's mental health, about 00:25:25.059 --> 00:25:30.000 identity. Feeling lost in yourself and trying 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.240 to stay kind. When life's grinding you down. 00:25:37.230 --> 00:25:43.309 About real I resilience but not the fake shiny 00:25:43.309 --> 00:25:48.990 version the real one the one that sometimes looks 00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:58.829 like Just getting through the day and that's 00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:07.039 And that's where if that's where you are Right 00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:11.859 now then I want you to know That counts it all 00:26:11.859 --> 00:26:15.900 counts getting through the day counts Still being 00:26:15.900 --> 00:26:20.680 here counts still trying counts still caring 00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:26.420 counts Even if you're limping a bit even if you're 00:26:26.420 --> 00:26:28.640 slower than you want to be, even if your head 00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:32.140 has been noisy, even if your body's been fighting, 00:26:32.579 --> 00:26:38.480 even if you're not the version of yourself, you 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:48.420 wish you were right now. You still count. I think 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:53.779 that's where I'll leave this for today. Not with 00:26:53.779 --> 00:26:58.900 the perfect answer, just with honesty. Things 00:26:58.900 --> 00:27:03.000 have been hard. Pain has been hard. The mental 00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:08.700 side of it has been hard. But I'm here. I'm still 00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:12.500 here. And I want to keep building from that. 00:27:13.700 --> 00:27:18.019 So if you're listening, thank you. Thank you 00:27:18.019 --> 00:27:21.640 for staying. Thank you for coming. And thank 00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:28.190 you. for giving this space your time and now 00:27:28.190 --> 00:27:33.569 before i go i want to finish this the only way 00:27:33.569 --> 00:27:41.109 that feels right the fire went quiet beneath 00:27:41.109 --> 00:27:44.950 the ache beneath the weight beneath the frustration 00:27:44.950 --> 00:27:49.789 of a body that would not move as freely as it 00:27:49.789 --> 00:27:55.420 once did The path grew heavier, each step became 00:27:55.420 --> 00:28:00.220 a battle, and even the strongest warrior can 00:28:00.220 --> 00:28:04.160 feel worn down when the fight follows him into 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:10.200 his own bones. But a quieter fire is still a 00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:14.400 fire, and ember beneath ash still holds heat. 00:28:15.049 --> 00:28:18.589 And though the shield grew heavier and the body 00:28:18.589 --> 00:28:23.150 protested, the mind grew tired from carrying 00:28:23.150 --> 00:28:28.390 more than the most could see. Still, the flame 00:28:28.390 --> 00:28:35.150 remained. Not roaring, not raging, but waiting. 00:28:37.049 --> 00:28:41.809 Waiting for breath, waiting for truth. Waiting 00:28:41.809 --> 00:28:45.910 for the moment. its keeper would speak again. 00:28:47.250 --> 00:28:51.210 And now he does. Not untouched, not unscarred, 00:28:51.390 --> 00:28:56.789 but honest. Still speaking, still standing, still 00:28:56.789 --> 00:29:03.190 choosing, even through pain. To turn struggle 00:29:03.190 --> 00:29:09.369 into something that might light the way for someone 00:29:09.369 --> 00:29:15.609 else one day. This is the pink persuader on mental 00:29:15.609 --> 00:29:23.250 health and the fire is back. Much love and be 00:29:23.250 --> 00:29:24.069 more kind.