Number two was feeling pursued, which got me
thinking like, yeah, that is, you know, I don't
really often do that these days, you know, with
the kids and stuff, but it is something to kind
of think about. And do you ever like pursue your
husband? No, but I think just like what we want,
like you look good in that outfit or you look
pretty or it's going to date night and different
things like that. They also probably want that
as well, right? Welcome back to Keep It Good.
I'm your host, Emily. And I'm your host, Carly.
So Father's Day was just this past Sunday, and
we thought, you know, with all the big hype about
Mother's Day and the episode about mothers, we
thought we need to give a little shout out. So
this episode is all about husbands and relationships.
Can't wait. Because we love them, right? Yes.
I mean, we said previous episodes that mom is
the CEO, usually. Not always. But that's usually
the case. That's true. I mean, there are some
guys who step up and do that role. For the most
part, yeah, mom's CEO. But like any working team,
everybody needs a balance in life. And there's
certain jobs that moms just can't do, you know?
And fathers really step up to the plate these
days. And we wanted to highlight what they contribute.
in the household that often goes unseen as well.
Yes. I mean, I do not want to be getting rid
of the dead mice and the traps. Yeah. Or like
the gutters, cleaning the gutters. Yeah. I feel
like they have all the dirty work. They are the
plumbers, the pest control, the heavy lifters,
the garbage men, the handyman. They offer a sense
of security, I think, that just makes everyone
in the house feel safe, you know? 100%. I don't
worry or think about any of that. That's like
on his plate, right? Yeah. I'm doing a lot more
of that cruise director type stuff, and there's
not even a conversation. He plays his role and
I play mine, and that's kind of how it works,
you know? I don't touch anything dirty, basically.
Yeah. We love them for that. I mean, that makes
our life a hell of a lot easier. So if you don't
feel appreciated, guys, we love you. Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah. I mean, my husband's great.
If anything goes wrong in the house, like plumbing,
electricity, anything that is outside my scope
of practice, like he figures it out. He handles
it. He makes our house our home, you know? and
keeps it safe and I mean thinking about you know
all the things that mom carries and and has in
her mind I can't imagine what it's like to be
a guy because I feel like they hold a whole different
sense of responsibility for the family yes a
lot of times they are the providers or Not always
but you know, they just have that protective
character or that role that they kind of are
meant to step into or Expected to step into and
I think that puts a lot of pressure on somebody,
you know you're overnight you have this whole
family to kind of protect and It oftentimes just
goes unnoticed. Like I said, yeah, absolutely.
I totally agree with you and I think when that
baby does come, because even like when you do
have a baby and you're pregnant and they know
they're becoming a father and they're excited
and all of that, but they don't get to feel the
feels that you do through those basically 10
months, you know? And so it maybe isn't real
until that happens. And I think that for a lot
of them, there is a switch of like, okay. Now
I got the real family unit and I got to protect.
You know, we always talk about mama bear, but
there's definitely a papa bear thing too. And
yeah, they do a lot of the things that, I mean,
I don't even know maybe all the things he does
because he just does it. And just like us, I
know we like to think that everybody's 50 50
and how, you know, we run our relationship and
our households, but things are kind of split.
Like, mom does this, dad does that, you know?
Yeah, I know we kind of stepped into that role,
not even realizing it, but Like Jacqueline said
in the Struggles of Motherhood episode, the evolution
of fathers really has come a long way. There's
so many dads who do dive in and do diapers or
do the overnight bottle feeds. My husband was
fantastic through all of that. I could not have
asked for a better partner in such a chaotic
part of my life. Absolutely same. Well, and I
think, too, to have that good partner who knows,
like, okay, it is definitely my turn to step
in because, you know, without even having to
be asked, right, especially in those baby months,
but that's what's making him a dad and getting
to enjoy a Father's Day himself. I know. I hope
they all had a really good Father's Day because
you do, you all mean so much to us. We could
not make our lives and the kids' lives. The way
that they are without you. It's a family unit
and you are an equal part of that that unit So
we did a fun little poll with our friends and
families and co -workers Just a random little
bunch of guys and we asked them ways that make
them feel appreciated I'm I mean everyone can
kind of guess what number one was right That
goes unspoken but moving on down the list uh
here are a few things that they they had mentioned
so yeah number two was feeling pursued which
got me thinking like yeah that is you know i
don't really uh often do that these days you
know with the kids and stuff but it is something
to kind of think about and do you ever like pursue
your husband No, but I think just like what we
want like, oh, you look good in that outfit or
you look pretty or, you know, it's going to date
night and different things like that. They also
probably want that as well, right? They want
to know that you're still attracted to them and
that sort of thing where it's kind of an unsaid.
I think most people just are married to you.
So I love you and you should know that, you know,
but we all like to feel like, oh, yeah, I'm noticed
again. Yep. So, I mean, I got to step up my game.
Yes, I mean, I don't we all but yeah So that
was that was an interesting point of view from
a guy's perspective is feeling pursued And I
think a lot of women kind of let that slide because
that he pursued Yeah, we don't want to do the
chasing Number three was just kind of helping
out with certain things like yard work or You
know any kind of task that's a lot for like the
house You know just helping out right like weeding
or yeah something that tends to sometimes fall
on them or Yeah, and I totally get that. I mean
who doesn't want to feel Helped, you know, right?
And that goes hand -in -hand with kind of number
four acknowledgement so like You know, wow, you
did a really great job with that. I love how
you thought of this or You know great idea. I
loved how this came out This was I would have
never thought of it and you know kind of a Bravo
to you type of yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely and
then number five like along with kind of helping
out outside sort of Say they're you know outside
working on Some kind of a project just thinking
oh, you know what he could use a coffee or a
little snack Just being thoughtful and bringing
him out something without him asking or maybe
something that you think he could use in the
time Do you ever do that Emily? I mean, I don't
know I don't know if I do. I like to think I
take care of him pretty good, but Well, the next
time he's outside doing yard work get him a freaking
snack. I'll get a fresh lemonade, freshly squeezed.
Yeah. Bring the boy a snack. It's so funny though,
because these things are like things that women
want too, right? So it's just, it's what you
want. Assume your partner also wants that. Yeah.
It's a good lesson, right? Treat others the way
you want to be treated. Yes. Yes. And then the
last two is show interest, encouragement, and
compliments. compliment that boy, he wants it.
Gotta feed the ego a little bit. Yeah, yeah,
water it, feed it, and then back off a little
bit so that it keeps him guessing. Yeah, I love
it. It keeps it interesting still. It's like
you always have to be dating, right? Like you
gotta keep, it can't, things can get stagnant
and that's life, like we're busy, but I think
you have to keep it fun and exciting. Like my
husband is so good with spontaneity and surprising
me with different things and I have just become
I think is he's so good I've just become like
a bad gift giver and you know I when we did that
Mother's Day one I'm like I had to step up my
game I gotta you know like I don't know I know.
Like as much as we're offering different ideas
for people, listening back, it's like, oh wow,
like I kind of have to, you know, it makes you
second guess it, even though we're making these
episodes. Yeah. We have to practice what we preach.
Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of them are like, you know,
oh my God, I can't even believe I said that.
Where did that come from? But that's great advice
and I need to do it. Yeah. Like, do you flirt?
Do you flirt with your husband still? Yes. I
would like to think that there's definitely some
flirting going on when there's time You know
we with our jobs we kind of won for many years
gotten better, but we passed in the night It
was literally that the ships passing in the night
and so you got to try to do that when when you
can and Don't be lazy about it. Yeah well like
Me and my husband flirt all the time. I love
that about us, you know constantly every day
It's just it's just fun. It keeps it, you know
electric and no that's but that's like that spark
is still always alive and Like I said, some people
don't have the time together. But like even if
you're not right, it's through text or A phone
call or a funny little emoji it can be even just
something simple like that doesn't have to be
Yeah, right. A face to face. It's funny because
when we were in high school, we would pass each
other notes and like little things here and there.
And now that technology is involved, like the
texts are our new love notes that we passed.
So, you know, like... So cute. I want to save
it. Yeah. You know, like you have to keep it
fun. You have to keep it fresh. Yes, we've been
together for 20 plus years, but he still gives
me the butterflies. He still gives me, you know...
Right. It's exciting for a date night and yeah,
yeah So definitely prioritize date night. I mean
get even if you can't get a babysitter one of
our favorite things is You know, we put in a
lot of hard work in our house. We've been here
for like 11 years now We just kind of walk around
once the kids go to bed. We get like a glass
of wine or coffee It's like a Tuesday night.
You make it work and you walk around the yard
and we just kind of like Look at where we've
been and where we are now, you know and kind
of give recognition about this project or that
part of the garden or this and oh What are we
gonna do with this area for the future? And it
it just kind of it's my favorite date night with
him because it's like you just appreciate each
other You appreciate where you've been where
you're going Where you are now? Yeah, the life
you've built. Yeah. You know, to think back like,
oh my gosh, remember when it was this and now
look what we've done. And yeah, it's such a nice,
nice thing. Yeah, it's like walking down memory
lane. Yeah. That's my favorite. And it doesn't
cost us anything. I mean, we're enjoying the
fruits of our labor. It's just, it's one of my
favorites. So if you can't, you don't have the
extra money to go out for dinner or You don't
have the time to get a sitter or any of that.
You can make anything into a date night. It's
just about spending that quality time together
and really just seeing each other for who they
are and, you know, set time together. That's
really all you need. Right. It's like it's one
of those love language, right? We look into like
really kind of understanding your love language
and what your partner's love language is. and
recognizing how to kind of show the love that
they're going to reciprocate or accept, you know?
Right. So there's five different types of love
languages. I want to know which one you are after
we're done. Okay. First one, quality time, words
of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service,
and then receiving gifts. So... I mean, I would
sign up for all five. Yes, I think so too. I'm
like a little bit of each one. I can't say that
I'm definitely just one of those. I mean, quality
time is probably at the top of my list because
like I've shared my husband's job and we don't
always get time together. So whatever we can
get, even if it's an hour, once the kids are
asleep, like you said, the date night thing,
like just at home, that's so important to me.
And I know that it's important to my husband
too. let's have some time sometimes it is just
us talking sometimes it's us watching a show
or having a glass of wine together or something
like that but i think that's probably my top
one but yeah so you like all five as well i want
all the love languages i want yeah i'm very fluent
in all the love languages uh no i would say yeah
same quality time just having that minute you
know also words of affirmation I think because
I love to hear like encouragement or you know
like I love you it's something so simple those
three little words but they mean a lot in a relationship
it's comforting it's you know words are a big
deal and I think my husband definitely knows
that yeah about me by now yeah and I know him
His is definitely physical clutch I was gonna
say I think Matt's is I don't know if I had to
guess I would say his is probably quality time
too, but I mean lucky they're all They're all
good, of course, but yeah, what what would be
your favorite date? I know your favorite date
night with the kids, but like what would you
want to do if you had a date night? Oh Kids are
with a sitter. I like experiences. Yeah, right
I love experiences. So, um, we sometimes, you
know, we'll do like a mid day where like if the
kids are at school and he has the day off, we'll
go for a hike or one time the four of us went
for, you know, the cooking class. Like, I just
love doing things that are different. I don't
really want to go and sit across from him and
have dinner and talk about the kids. Yeah. Well,
it's a memory and that's kind of fun too. It's
like, Yeah, I don't know and you could play off
of each other's hobbies like maybe you could
rotate like oh my god I've always wanted to try
this and even though that might not be your favorite
thing because it's his or something He wants
to do you should want to do it, too. Yeah, definitely
Yeah, whatever makes them happy and like glow
from the inside for sure. Absolutely. I know
he would You know, I'd have to drag him to a
sip and paint But at the end of the day, he would
do it because he wants to make me happy and he
would drag me to a shooting range or something
very manly. And I would just kind of suck it
up and do it because he thought of it, he wanted
to do it. And yeah, I'll encourage whatever makes
that man smile, I'm up for. Have you ever seen
those cards? It's like game. like, date cards.
I don't know exactly what they are. I don't know
if it's specifically a game or, like, you just
pick from this deck of cards and it gives you
ideas to do for a date night, something spontaneous.
You have to, like, do whatever's on the card.
Oh, I would love that. That sounds really cool.
Yeah. I think they're fun. I haven't really looked
into them, but just something kind of different
where you're not like, oh, okay. I think, too,
we always do things... I mean, as you know, because
you're our friend, but we do things a lot as
groups. And that's so fun, too, as a group with
everybody so everyone can get together. And it's
so wonderful. But sometimes I think it does need
to be just the two of you. Yeah. You got to bring
it back to like where it started. Yeah. What
was your first date or the first time that you
like knew he was the one, you know? Oh, well,
I feel like I knew he was the one before he was
my man. So that goes back like a couple years
before we actually started dating. It was just
not kind of working. I just always had this connection
to him for like a few years before we actually
started dating. So I feel like I knew for a while.
And then it was great because once we were dating,
it was like, this is it. You know, this is it.
First date, we went out to dinner. It was like
actually just him and I. because in the beginning
I feel like it was still a lot of group stuff
and yeah it's hard to explain our situation at
the time but yeah no I get it. What about you?
Well ours was different because we were in high
school you know so but I remember first seeing
him when I was in sixth grade we got our yearbooks
I was sitting in the gym going through the yearbook
and then all of a sudden I saw this little Tiny,
you know those like collage pages with like just
random pictures of everybody from this from the
class Yeah, I saw this Like little tiny picture
of him and my heart stopped and I was like who
is that? Oh my god, like I had this weird Connection
right off the bat as soon as I saw this kid and
you know, he was two years older than me So that
was it that was like the last day school and
I didn't see him again until I was in ninth grade
And then I saw him in the hall and my heart literally,
it was crazy. And then he would like flirt because
he thought I looked like Neve Campbell. So he'd
be like, hey, Neve. As I walked down the, and
I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe he's talking.
No, freaking out. And then our first date, I
knew he was the one that day because I mean,
I come up with some wild ideas, right? And so
he's like, what do you want to do? And we picked
wild flowers and we went to this old Civil War
cemetery and we read everybody's name and put
a flower down and just honored them. Why? I don't
know. We were just living life in the moment.
And he was game. He was literally game for anything.
And I was like, wow, this guy's cool. Typical
guys wouldn't do this. But yeah, it was a very
out of the box first date. And he's been game
for all my wild ideas ever since. That's one
of the things I love about him. I could literally
tell him like, oh, so I read this will bring
us good luck if we bury a doll's arm under the
third bush in our front yard. And he'd be like,
well, how far do I have to dig the hole? He is
so like that. That's so funny. My husband would
be like, absolutely not. What are you talking
about? Yeah, he's just, he goes along with my
wild ideas. I love it. I love it. And you, you
know, you just got to find that person that kind
of just like the yin and yang, you know, he is
the yin and yang. No, I love that. And to the
yin and yang, I thought this was kind of cool
because we like, you say that about things, right?
Like, oh, you're the yin to my yang or, you know,
with your friends or whatever. But I looked into
it and the yin. and the yang have different personality
qualities. So yin people are emotional, empathetic,
calm, nurturing, intuitive. So that's like one
side of it. Yang people are protective, decisive,
energetic, strong, logical. So like They're two
totally different people. And Steve is Yang.
I mean, yeah. And it's just kind of funny because
don't get me wrong, moms or women or whatever
could be Yang for sure. But I think most people
would feel like, like us moms, we're the in and
dad is Yang. Oh, happy Yang day, guys. It's so
cute. That was so cute. I mean, I remember drawing.
Like that like, you know, yeah, I just it's so
funny. I don't even know what I means I never
knew what it means until today. That's really
cool to think about Yeah, so I just thought it
was like puzzle piece, you know, you're supporting
each other Yeah, like you're lifting each other
up and I think that that's huge in a relationship
What you lack hopefully your partner is giving
you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly Like you're just constantly
supporting. Yeah, I am 100 % Ian Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I mean, all the way. But that is really cool.
I mean, you have to, what you lack, your partner
has, you know, and vice versa. Like, and that's
what just makes, makes it fit perfect. And it's
just like a strong connection, you know? Yeah,
it is. What about, like, do you remember when
you first saw your husband hold a baby? Not even
your own baby, just like any baby. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I think the first time I really at least
noticed it was with one of our best friends I
had twins and He was sitting this chair and he
had both the babies in his arm and I was like,
oh my god, it was just a softness to him and
it was it was incredible and You know come to
find out we were, you know pregnant probably
the next month with our first but it was just
it was really cool to see I know, it just makes
you freaking fall apart. There's just something
about, especially your own kid, when you see
that, you're just like, whoa. I was coming out
of surgery, so I was really a little messed up.
My eyes were swollen shut. You were swollen.
You definitely were a little puffy. I didn't
see it for a couple of weeks afterwards, but
when I came to and I looked up. But it is. It
is something to behold. Yeah. It is special.
It's just like, oh my god. I didn't think you
could be any more handsome or cute or irresistible,
but it's just like something with a man holding
a baby. You're like, my God, I love you. I love
you. I know. It's so great. I hope that they
know how much we appreciate them. And just like
for the moms, just feel the love all year round
and know that we're grateful for all that they
do, too. Yeah. They're incredible. We couldn't
do anything without them. I couldn't. I sure
as hell couldn't. I mean, I feel like me and
Steve have been together for past lives. Do you
believe in past lives? I sure do. And I 1 ,000
% agree with you. You two are like, yeah, you've
done this before. This is like old news. Yeah.
I feel like, I don't know. Believe in past lives
and I feel like I've been with this guy for hundreds
of years, you know It's just old souls. I think
too Yeah Yeah, I just love it. I love I can't
think you were people or do you think you were
like cats? Oh Interesting Okay, next person on
here we need someone who can do a regression
of some sort. Yeah, past life regression. Anybody
out there want to come and talk with us, that
would be a really cool episode. I'd love to find
out my past lives. I've been told that I was
like an herbalist, an alchemist. Yeah, I can
see that. I think I got my something read in
P -Town. And yeah, I had like my own apothecary,
which I was like, oh my god, yeah, that makes
so much sense. That's my dream. Yeah, like how
can, can I like, I don't know, tap into that
old hidden knowledge that I had before and like
make this happen in this life too. Yeah. But
yeah, I would love to know all about the past
lives. Do you think you were with Matt in past
lives? Or you think this is like fresh? I've
never thought about it. I don't, I don't know.
I don't know. I definitely think I've lived another
life. Well, we know that we were together in
past lives. Right. We did just find that out.
We just found that out. That I now believe, since
we were told. I agree with that. I would say
no. I would say no, but not in a bad way. I feel
like we have so much newness. You like to play
the field. My old souls. I might have been a
cat. That's funny. You're probably like... Well,
we know you don't like to fly. I don't. Maybe
you were a bird and that's why you died and that's
why you don't like to fly. That would make so
much sense. Yeah, mystery solved. Done. All right,
cool. I mean, I don't really know what else to
add after that. I mean, Nancy Drew figured it
out. We don't need anyone to come on anymore.
Never mind. No, I still want somebody to come
and talk to us. Yeah, so I mean, bottom line,
guys are awesome. We love them. We hope you all
had a really amazing Father's Day. Nourish your
relationship. Yeah, keep it fresh, keep it light,
keep it fun, flirt, date. You need to date, for
sure. Date your husband. And persuade him, or
not pursue him. Not persuade him. You can persuade
him too, if you want. You could persuade him
to like... Finish that project and then you'll
pursue him Maybe yeah goes at the end. Yeah,
no, but I have a fun little quote that kind of
corresponds with just You know who you pick as
a partner in life, right? So it's a it says life
hack by Justin Welsh. I don't I found it on on
his page, but It says, marry someone that if
you had no friends at all, you'd gladly spend
every waking moment with. And yeah, I found that
one. I will spend every lifetime with him, and
I will try and learn his love language a little
bit more. Hoping he switches his love language.
Yeah, can we make quality time or words of affirmation?
I'm really good at that one. Yeah, same. Yeah,
no, that's perfect. Love the one you're with
Yeah, and if and if it's not driving then kind
of re -examine that you want to be with your
best friend You want them to talk good about
you behind your back, you know, you should be
your ultimate hype man. Yeah, you're hype man.
Exactly Always well, I think that's all for today,
right? Yeah, I think so All right. Well, we hope
you have a really great week and as always, keep
it good.