WEBVTT

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Hi and welcome to a new How Did You Make It,

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the podcast in which we help you manage the confusion,

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navigate the uncertainty and challenges of your

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teenage life onwards. Here you will get insights

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and advice from diverse individuals who face

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very similar challenges and who can't wait to

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empower you. I'm Yusra, your host, and today

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I'm welcoming Maya. And there is so much to learn

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from her. I'm not going to spoil you too much,

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but essentially you're going to learn the impact

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of sports in her life from her early teenage

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years till today. And what's absolutely brilliant

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is throughout the podcast, she's going to share

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with you tools you can take home and use every

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day to build your confidence, resiliency, and

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to simply empower yourself. So let's go. Hi,

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Maya, and welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy

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to have you with us today. I'll just give you

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the floor. Hi, Yorsa. My name is Maya Lawrence.

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Thank you so much for inviting me and having

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me join the podcast today. I am an American who

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is living in Paris now. I'm also a former Olympian

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and I went to the 2012 Olympics for fencing.

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And right now I'm living in Paris and I have

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a family and I have a job. And I moved on a bit

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from my athletic life into fintech corporate

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life. And I can't wait to talk about everything

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you mentioned already. Thank you, Maya. But first,

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I always ask guests to share their own definition

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of success. What's yours? I really think that

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success is how you define it. I think a lot of

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the time in life and with myself too, I kind

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of let other people define what success is. And

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I got caught up in what they thought it meant

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to achieve goals. So whether it meant... you

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know, getting good grades or going to a good

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school or living a comfortable life or winning

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a certain amount of medals or making a lot of

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friends. I think that is actually kind of very

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difficult because when you're young, you're trying

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to figure out what it means for you. So in the

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end, oftentimes it's a mix of what other people

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suggest it can be and what you decide it is for

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yourself. For me, my definition of success basically

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changed a lot over time as well. So when I was

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younger, it meant certain things. And when I

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got older and as I grew up, it meant other things.

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And I guess I can say, too, that if I think specifically

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about sports and I think specifically about fencing,

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my definition of success changed. Even weekly.

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It wasn't something that was, you know, was always

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the same. One week it would be, I don't know,

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like try to win a bout against an older fencer

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on my team. The next week it would be try to

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win a bout against someone on another team. And

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then the next month it would be try to win this

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competition. And then that morphed into... um

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try to go to the olympics and then that morphed

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into try to win a medal so it the definition

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of success for me in sports grew a lot um over

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time so here you go your success doesn't need

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to look like a big thing success can be counted

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in your everyday actions it can be you showing

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up it can be you managing to do your exams better

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than planned you decide Maya, you also mentioned

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that sometimes success can be defined by other

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people for you. So how do you find a balance

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between listening to the pieces of advice you're

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receiving or when are you supposed to, how can

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we call that, maybe listening to your gut? And

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it's probably different when you're a teenager

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and when you're an adult. So how would you find

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this balance between? How would you find this

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balance in those two different times in your

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life? Actually, now that I think about it, I

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think for me, and I don't know if it's the same

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for other people, it might not be so different

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as a teenager or as an adult. And maybe that's

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just kind of the way that I operate. But I've

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noticed and I found that I try to also surround

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myself with people who I admire and who I trust

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and who believe in me. And I think that maybe

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for me, it might be hard for me to be sometimes

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brave enough to set the goals. And I think about

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it and almost every time that I did something

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that's considered quote unquote successful, it's

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someone else who told me that I should try to

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do that thing. It's almost like I couldn't articulate

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that thing myself so someone else had to say

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it for me and then I had to say oh yeah that's

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a really good idea um this is what happened to

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me when I um decided to apply to Princeton this

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is what happened to me when I decided I wanted

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to win a medal at the Olympics this is what happened

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to me even now at work excuse me I have like

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mentors and managers who say like you should

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try to you know like go to the next level and

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do this or you should try and like lead this

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project and I kind of just say oh yeah that's

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a good idea and I just go and do it so I think

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that also these people probably realize that

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I need a little bit of a push sometimes to decide

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that I want to do something and then after that

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I'm really good at following through and doing

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it but like that initial decision is always probably

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the hardest part. And that's been the same thing

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for me since I was a teenager in through adulthood,

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I think. So I think finding the right people

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to surround you with who can be that support

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and sometimes give you that push is really important

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in, you know, figuring out exactly what that

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success means to you. And then of course you

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modify and think about ways that it might not

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be exactly what they say. It might be better

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if it's a certain way because that's how you

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feel. But I think that the base of it is just

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making sure that you're surrounded by people

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who believe in you and trust you and know you

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and your boundaries and your limits. And that

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ecosystem is so important, right? Because it

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is also explaining you what exists out there.

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And sometimes they are showing you how capable

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you are, that you deserve more than you think.

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But if that ecosystem is not built in by that,

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I mean, siblings, family members, friends, whoever

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it is, how do you build that for yourself? That's

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an excellent question. I think that some people

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are probably lucky enough to have something like

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that built in either with family or friends.

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That's, you know, good and solid and ready made.

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Not everyone has that. that luck for that to

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happen and a lot of people I think have a mixed

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bag you know you've got some people who are you

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know that are that are good for you some people

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who are not so great for you um but I think it

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comes down to also figuring out and understanding

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like what your values are and what you believe

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is true and right and important and then Once

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you figure that out, it becomes clear who the

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people are that should be the ones that you keep

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around to form that good ecosystem for you. Yes.

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And to add to that, I think there's one way you

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can approach it gradually is to put yourself

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out there. Because the reality is that no one

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is going to come to you. At least it's very,

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very rare. But essentially... No one is going

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to come to you and say, oh, I see potential in

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you. You can do this, this, this and that. So

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what do I mean by putting yourself out there?

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So if you're already practicing any sports or

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any crafts or you're already volunteering or

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you have a job, it means actively looking for

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opportunities, asking management, coaches, teachers,

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what opportunities can you seize? What opportunities

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can you walk towards too? And if nothing works,

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that's completely fine. Maybe the next thing

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you will be doing will get you somewhere. But

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anyway, I know I'm repeating myself in each episode,

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but everything that's meant for you will find

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you, but you still need to take those actions.

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So let's learn about you, Maya. Can you tell

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us about your teenage years, your passions, the

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activities you were doing, and everything else

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that shaped your early teenage years? Yeah, so

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I was a good student. I liked school, so that

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made it a bit easier. There were certain things,

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obviously, that I was better at than others.

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I was not a great math student, and it's not

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because I didn't really like it. It just didn't

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come. as natural to me as, as some of the other,

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some of the other subjects. So, um, but that

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doesn't mean I didn't try. It doesn't mean that

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I didn't, you know, do, do the work and take

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the harder classes I did, but it was, it was

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something that I probably had to spend at least

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a third more time on than, than anything else.

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Um, I, I would say when I was a more preteen

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when I was in middle school, I never got in big

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trouble, but the problem was always the same,

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which was that I was talking in class with my

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friends. Always the same reprimand on the report

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card. So all the grades would be fine, but then

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there'd always be a note from the teacher. I

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had to really figure out how to stop talking

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in class. I don't know, I guess there was always

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something that we felt like we needed to share

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with each other that was really important in

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that moment. But no, I liked school and I got

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good grades. I do remember that, I mean, I come

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from a town that is extremely, extremely diverse.

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When I was living in New Jersey, a town called

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Teaneck, New Jersey, when I was growing up there,

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there were a huge mix of different kinds of people

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in the public schools, and I was in the public

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school system. So there were a lot of African

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Americans, a lot of Jewish people as well, of

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all different kinds of like ranges of religion

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from conservative to um reformed there were also

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people you know of uh hispanic origin southeast

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asian asian it was like just a huge mix of different

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kinds of people so a lot of the time it was all

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it was a very and still is a very liberal town

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so um oftentimes when there was um i guess you

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can say an inkling that something might be unfair

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because of race or religion or gender was brought

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like out in public very quickly. So when I was

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in eighth grade or seventh grade, I think there

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was a huge, huge kind of, I guess you can say

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scandal in the public school system where there

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were There were accusations of like institutional

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racism in the classroom so that students who

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were either Black or Hispanic were getting tracked

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into classes that were like easier classes, not

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honors classes, not AP classes and things like

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that. So I remember at one point, for some reason,

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there was one class that or two classes I was

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taking that were not like higher level classes.

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My parents, my mom, I think it was specifically

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marched up to the school in order to make sure

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that I, you know, like got put into the classes

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that she thought were the ones that were the

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most challenging. So I think also seeing and

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again, having people around you who believe that

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you can do things really helps you to believe

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that you can. And if you don't have those people

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who. who can push you and can give you the encouragement,

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then it's a lot, it can be a lot harder to, to

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try and push yourself to do it without having

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them behind you. So, so yeah, I liked school.

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I took challenging classes and I, and, and I

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enjoyed it. I also did a lot of activities. You

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were talking before about. getting out of the

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house and making sure you meet people and do

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things. When I was in middle school and high

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school, it was really seen as important if you

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wanted to go into college to have lots of extracurricular

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activities. So it was the 90s and that was the

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way that things were in the U .S. I think it's

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similar now. Maybe it's toned down a bit, but

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then it was just like you had to do as many things

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as possible. um and try and do them relatively

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well um so yeah I mean I was in like um lots

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of different clubs like the Black Youth Organization,

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American Cancer Society and like the Honor Society

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and Marching Band and all these kinds of different

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clubs that I really enjoyed being in and I made

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a lot of friends too um in these in these clubs

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so I think that that's actually one of the great

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things about the U .S. system is that you have

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a shorter school day, so you have more time to

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do these things. So you get out of school, you

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know, at like 2 .30 or something. And you have

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the afternoon to do these activities and these

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clubs so that you are able to socialize with

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other kids and learn, you know. either, you know,

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either run a sport or music or volunteer all

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at the same time. So I did a lot of that. And

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then, of course, I did a lot of sports, too.

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So I was I was not very good at most sports,

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actually. It's pretty bad. A lot of them. But

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I did them anyway. So I played basketball and

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softball and baseball, like from a very early

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age and then kind of fell into fencing when I

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was. When I was a sophomore in high school, I

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actually, I actually joined the fencing team

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my freshman year. And then I, I got a C on a

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math test and I freaked out and I quit the fencing

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team because I thought that it was interfering

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with my academics. I was very dramatic. It was

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one, one quiz. I think it was like a 10 question

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quiz or something. So I quit the team and I didn't

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fence my freshman year. And then I went back

00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:42.019
and tried to get my sophomore year. And then

00:16:42.019 --> 00:16:45.779
I stayed and continued to do it. So yeah, lots

00:16:45.779 --> 00:16:49.200
of activities and sports when I was a teenager.

00:16:50.779 --> 00:16:52.940
Your inputs are so valuable, Maya. Thank you

00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:56.279
so much. First, I'm sure that a lot of us can

00:16:56.279 --> 00:17:02.779
relate to being quite talkative at school. You

00:17:02.779 --> 00:17:06.299
raise crucial points. And here I will be calling

00:17:06.299 --> 00:17:10.980
to parental figures, whoever is in charge, as

00:17:10.980 --> 00:17:13.819
you were mentioning institutional racism, there

00:17:13.819 --> 00:17:15.940
is a crucial call to action. Please keep an eye

00:17:15.940 --> 00:17:19.160
and track the decisions that were made for the

00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:21.480
new generation, who probably doesn't even know

00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:24.200
and realize the potential impacts and the decisions

00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:26.380
that are made for them by structures who want

00:17:26.380 --> 00:17:29.349
to marginalize them. And if you... And if you're

00:17:29.349 --> 00:17:31.309
listening and you don't even know where to start,

00:17:31.390 --> 00:17:34.349
start by attending the parent -teacher meetings.

00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:37.049
Or another option would be to reach out to NGO

00:17:37.049 --> 00:17:41.170
structures where you're based and ask them to

00:17:41.170 --> 00:17:43.789
help you understand more what the next generation

00:17:43.789 --> 00:17:47.730
deserves and need. Another thing that I found

00:17:47.730 --> 00:17:50.869
very interesting is what you said about sports.

00:17:51.509 --> 00:17:55.109
Essentially not taking it too seriously and not

00:17:55.109 --> 00:17:57.569
being that good at them. And be okay with that.

00:17:58.109 --> 00:18:01.109
So how do you build that mindset to just take

00:18:01.109 --> 00:18:03.990
part of those activities and not care much about

00:18:03.990 --> 00:18:08.009
how good you are doing? For me, there is definitely

00:18:08.009 --> 00:18:11.349
this idea that like it's OK, even if you're not

00:18:11.349 --> 00:18:16.109
the best one at it, because you're still doing

00:18:16.109 --> 00:18:19.349
it and you get to see your friends and you get

00:18:19.349 --> 00:18:24.490
to play a game and you get to try. And I think,

00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:28.460
though, like. So there is this layer of it's

00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:31.460
okay because I still have something else. Like,

00:18:31.480 --> 00:18:36.099
you know, I'd go to like softball practice. And

00:18:36.099 --> 00:18:42.019
I remember that the junior varsity team would

00:18:42.019 --> 00:18:45.880
practice like. on one level and then there was

00:18:45.880 --> 00:18:47.740
like a hill and there was a second level with

00:18:47.740 --> 00:18:49.519
another field and the varsity team would practice

00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:52.299
there so i would always go to practice and think

00:18:52.299 --> 00:18:54.960
oh it would be so great if one day like i can

00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:58.299
practice up on the on the the field like on the

00:18:58.299 --> 00:19:01.859
top of the hill um and i would be a little bit

00:19:01.859 --> 00:19:05.220
sad about it but then i would kind of just like

00:19:05.220 --> 00:19:08.779
keep going and get through practice and try really

00:19:08.779 --> 00:19:11.539
hard and see whether or not i could like get

00:19:11.539 --> 00:19:15.640
better But then I would always say, oh, it's

00:19:15.640 --> 00:19:17.799
OK, because, you know, I also have this other

00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:21.359
thing to try. Like I also am trying to like be

00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:23.519
a really good flute player. And I'm also trying

00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.619
to like, you know, like be really great at piano.

00:19:26.660 --> 00:19:28.319
And I'm also trying to get really great in school.

00:19:28.359 --> 00:19:30.700
So I was all I was like trying so many things

00:19:30.700 --> 00:19:33.779
that sometimes like not being great at some of

00:19:33.779 --> 00:19:36.089
those things was fine. So there was always something

00:19:36.089 --> 00:19:38.869
else to continue to keep striving for. And I

00:19:38.869 --> 00:19:41.109
think that that helped. I never just always had

00:19:41.109 --> 00:19:47.650
one thing. And then I think I probably, in the

00:19:47.650 --> 00:19:53.869
back of my mind, it was a game of stats. If I

00:19:53.869 --> 00:19:57.369
try enough stuff, then one of the things will

00:19:57.369 --> 00:20:01.029
probably work out to the level of my satisfaction

00:20:01.029 --> 00:20:03.859
as well. I think there was probably a bit of

00:20:03.859 --> 00:20:06.779
that in the back of my mind. But like, you know,

00:20:06.779 --> 00:20:09.400
just the fact that a lot of the stuff and actually

00:20:09.400 --> 00:20:11.279
all the stuff I was doing with my friends, I

00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:14.339
think really, really made it just fine. Even

00:20:14.339 --> 00:20:17.380
if, you know, I was just operating at one level

00:20:17.380 --> 00:20:22.039
and not another. So would you say that self -talk

00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:25.299
played a main role in helping you making the

00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:28.099
most of those activities or were there anything

00:20:28.099 --> 00:20:34.599
else that helped you? yeah yeah and and i i think

00:20:34.599 --> 00:20:40.720
that too it was um it was my like the people

00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:43.519
who were around me like my friends who were okay

00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:50.259
also with that and and i trusted them so so that

00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:58.059
was so that was fine um and Yeah, I actually

00:20:58.059 --> 00:21:00.640
never thought about that question, whether or

00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:05.599
not it was the self -talk that made it okay to

00:21:05.599 --> 00:21:12.720
just enjoy the moment. I don't know. I think

00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:16.500
for me, it was really, and maybe it would have

00:21:16.500 --> 00:21:18.700
been easier if it were that, but I do think it

00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:24.650
was really just that I... I felt that things

00:21:24.650 --> 00:21:27.430
were going to work out in some way at something

00:21:27.430 --> 00:21:32.190
on some level. So that made it okay. That maybe

00:21:32.190 --> 00:21:35.369
it wasn't working out right now. But one day

00:21:35.369 --> 00:21:38.589
if I keep trying and keep going, then it kind

00:21:38.589 --> 00:21:41.190
of just had to because I was putting so much

00:21:41.190 --> 00:21:46.769
effort into it. I'm not sure how, if that's the

00:21:46.769 --> 00:21:48.329
right way to think about it, but that's kind

00:21:48.329 --> 00:21:50.789
of the way that I think that I was thinking about

00:21:50.789 --> 00:21:54.859
it at that time. i think this is a great way

00:21:54.859 --> 00:21:57.299
of thinking about it it's you're putting the

00:21:57.299 --> 00:22:00.400
effort you're believing in yourself if it works

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.339
it's absolutely fantastic if it doesn't that's

00:22:04.339 --> 00:22:06.880
completely fine because you enjoyed your time

00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:10.039
you enjoyed the process you're trying different

00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:13.400
things which also helps you determine what you

00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:17.279
like and what you like a little bit less And

00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:19.680
another thing that's happening along the way

00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.039
is that you're building community. So you're

00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:25.339
joining an activity and you're meeting like -minded

00:22:25.339 --> 00:22:28.099
people. So here you go, you put yourself out

00:22:28.099 --> 00:22:32.500
there and you're learning more. And as Maya said,

00:22:32.700 --> 00:22:35.900
if it sticks and if it works, absolutely fantastic.

00:22:36.119 --> 00:22:40.519
And eventually what was meant for you, find you.

00:22:41.380 --> 00:22:45.859
Maya, let's go back to your grades classes. So

00:22:45.859 --> 00:22:48.920
you said that math was not your strength? Yes.

00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:52.140
How did you make it through that challenge? How

00:22:52.140 --> 00:22:55.700
did you step up your game when it came to math

00:22:55.700 --> 00:23:00.119
or any other class? And, you know, you mentioned

00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:02.980
something very interesting is that at that age,

00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:06.920
we tend to compare ourselves quite often. So

00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:11.440
how that comparison went for you? What was the

00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:13.579
impact of that comparison when you were looking

00:23:13.579 --> 00:23:17.279
at people who were doing better than you? That's

00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:21.720
a great question. I think it definitely drove

00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.880
me to try and do better. When I was looking around

00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:30.480
at the people I was in classes with and my friends,

00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:38.039
I definitely looked to them for kind of a...

00:23:41.130 --> 00:23:43.329
That's the point of comparison is not the right

00:23:43.329 --> 00:23:47.349
word, but like kind of what I should strive to

00:23:47.349 --> 00:23:49.849
be, particularly if they were good at something

00:23:49.849 --> 00:23:53.049
that I wasn't good at. But I think the more important

00:23:53.049 --> 00:23:56.349
thing of what I learned, and this took me a little

00:23:56.349 --> 00:24:04.029
while, was that there's kind of like a baseline

00:24:04.029 --> 00:24:07.569
that makes sense for achievement in academics,

00:24:07.849 --> 00:24:12.269
which my parents helped me. to find because you

00:24:12.269 --> 00:24:15.750
know like I but you know what actually that's

00:24:15.750 --> 00:24:17.789
funny because whenever I tell my mom that she

00:24:17.789 --> 00:24:20.049
says no like it was all you you were just like

00:24:20.049 --> 00:24:22.970
constantly trying to do better to do better but

00:24:22.970 --> 00:24:26.130
it's weird in my mind it was um it was not all

00:24:26.130 --> 00:24:28.930
me it was definitely partially my parents but

00:24:28.930 --> 00:24:32.509
in any case probably a mix of the two um I I

00:24:32.509 --> 00:24:35.009
think that the thing that though what I was what

00:24:35.009 --> 00:24:36.710
I want to come back to that I think is important

00:24:36.710 --> 00:24:41.740
is um once you find that baseline of like what

00:24:41.740 --> 00:24:44.920
is kind of like the okay right like you know

00:24:44.920 --> 00:24:47.619
you're you're in a relatively challenging class

00:24:47.619 --> 00:24:49.339
but maybe it's not the most challenging class

00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:53.039
for me that was the situation for math and then

00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:55.180
all of the other classes like I took the most

00:24:55.180 --> 00:24:57.380
challenging classes and did really well in them

00:24:57.380 --> 00:24:59.660
and that was great and I was happy about that

00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:03.319
but being okay with the with the thought of not

00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:06.839
being in the hardest class for math and Being

00:25:06.839 --> 00:25:09.660
in one that was slightly easier, but that I could

00:25:09.660 --> 00:25:15.279
still do well in if I put my mind to it, was

00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.180
the thing that I had to understand. Because at

00:25:17.180 --> 00:25:20.539
the very beginning, I was just very upset and

00:25:20.539 --> 00:25:26.519
sad and disappointed and embarrassed that I wasn't

00:25:26.519 --> 00:25:28.380
going to take this other class like some of my

00:25:28.380 --> 00:25:30.799
other friends. But in the end, I realized that

00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:35.279
it was fine because that baseline was already

00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:39.779
there. And now that I think about it, I probably

00:25:39.779 --> 00:25:42.700
didn't have any time to be in that class anyway.

00:25:43.660 --> 00:25:45.740
I would have probably had to spend another four

00:25:45.740 --> 00:25:48.579
hours studying that. But I didn't have because

00:25:48.579 --> 00:25:50.980
I was doing something else that was just as,

00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:54.059
in the end, important and interesting and all

00:25:54.059 --> 00:25:57.089
of that. And were you driven by anything else?

00:25:57.089 --> 00:25:59.509
Did you know exactly what you wanted to do or

00:25:59.509 --> 00:26:04.630
wanted to study later on? Oh, no. I mean, before

00:26:04.630 --> 00:26:08.990
high school, I had no idea. In high school, I

00:26:08.990 --> 00:26:13.829
had like a vague idea, maybe my senior year.

00:26:15.309 --> 00:26:17.369
I got it stuck in my head that I wanted to do

00:26:17.369 --> 00:26:20.589
like finance or economics. I have no idea why,

00:26:20.789 --> 00:26:23.309
particularly with my relationship with math,

00:26:23.509 --> 00:26:25.769
maybe it was like some sort of a, I thought that

00:26:25.769 --> 00:26:28.849
it would be some sort of a, like, I don't know,

00:26:28.849 --> 00:26:33.349
way to show that like still conquer the numbers.

00:26:33.490 --> 00:26:36.130
I have no idea, but no, I really didn't know.

00:26:36.369 --> 00:26:41.430
And I think this is also why I. went to a school

00:26:41.430 --> 00:26:43.589
that allowed me to like explore different options

00:26:43.589 --> 00:26:48.170
for quite a long time for, you know, like basically

00:26:48.170 --> 00:26:51.369
the entire four years that I was in school was

00:26:51.369 --> 00:26:54.470
just like about learning about things that I

00:26:54.470 --> 00:26:58.789
liked. It was a bit like the learning vacation.

00:26:59.789 --> 00:27:04.450
I just spent the whole time. Yeah. I mean, for

00:27:04.450 --> 00:27:08.099
me also to like what I did. university with sports

00:27:08.099 --> 00:27:11.339
was part of my learning so that plus like my

00:27:11.339 --> 00:27:14.619
classes and my papers and my theses like that

00:27:14.619 --> 00:27:18.059
that was you know the the learning part that

00:27:18.059 --> 00:27:23.279
was that was nice um but no I had no idea really

00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:29.119
what I wanted to do in um definitely not in middle

00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:32.140
school definitely not really in high school um

00:27:32.140 --> 00:27:36.400
so no and I don't think that you have to some

00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:39.259
people do and that's great for them and they

00:27:39.259 --> 00:27:42.180
can start on their path early but if you don't

00:27:42.180 --> 00:27:46.059
then that's absolutely fine um and you can change

00:27:46.059 --> 00:27:52.680
your your path you know even once you're in school

00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:54.920
once you're out of school you can change careers

00:27:54.920 --> 00:27:59.200
even once you start one and you don't always

00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:03.039
have to prescribe to what you feel like you should

00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:08.349
do or what people say that you should do. And

00:28:08.349 --> 00:28:10.849
you should try to take the time that you need

00:28:10.849 --> 00:28:13.650
to figure it out. And you might not get it right

00:28:13.650 --> 00:28:15.950
the first time that you try to do something.

00:28:17.730 --> 00:28:20.170
I have a lot of friends and know a lot of people

00:28:20.170 --> 00:28:23.349
who tried first careers and decided that's not

00:28:23.349 --> 00:28:25.190
what they wanted. And three or four years later

00:28:25.190 --> 00:28:26.950
or 10 years later, they decided to do something

00:28:26.950 --> 00:28:29.630
else and they're much happier and they're much

00:28:29.630 --> 00:28:31.470
better at the other thing. And it was a much

00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:34.460
better choice. Don't feel as though you have

00:28:34.460 --> 00:28:37.079
to make the best choice and the right choice

00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:41.460
right off the bat. And remember that it can change

00:28:41.460 --> 00:28:43.140
and you can change and you're not supposed to

00:28:43.140 --> 00:28:44.880
know what you want to do when you're 14 years

00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:49.740
old. If you do, you're lucky, but I don't think

00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:53.660
you're really supposed to know. Because it can

00:28:53.660 --> 00:28:59.720
also, I think, change the way that you live.

00:29:00.519 --> 00:29:03.019
your teenage years and your your college years

00:29:03.019 --> 00:29:05.720
too if you feel like you you know exactly what

00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:08.519
you want to do then maybe there are other stuff

00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:10.539
there's other stuff that you won't try because

00:29:10.539 --> 00:29:13.200
of that and that would be a shame so i would

00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:16.220
say try to have an open mind and and know that

00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:18.180
even if you think you want to do something it

00:29:18.180 --> 00:29:20.660
could be great and continue to try and do it

00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:23.059
but it's all right to change your mind it's fine

00:29:23.059 --> 00:29:26.500
okay first things first i just want you to listen

00:29:26.500 --> 00:29:30.079
to what maya just shared with us right now And

00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:32.559
second thing, if you're currently completely

00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:37.000
lost, how we are showing is that not only it

00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:40.579
gives you so much flexibility, it pushes you

00:29:40.579 --> 00:29:44.519
to explore more, be more curious, but also think

00:29:44.519 --> 00:29:47.200
about it. I've shared an episode a couple of

00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:51.059
months ago where you can find research stating

00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:53.819
that the jobs of tomorrow are quite unknown.

00:29:54.339 --> 00:29:57.740
So if you were 100 % sure about the job that

00:29:57.740 --> 00:30:01.069
you want to do, maybe it won't exist actually

00:30:01.069 --> 00:30:05.369
in five, ten years from now. Exactly. So your

00:30:05.369 --> 00:30:07.750
confusion is actually a strength. A strength

00:30:07.750 --> 00:30:11.049
you have to exploit by remaining curious again,

00:30:11.210 --> 00:30:16.369
by keep on developing new skills, invest in your

00:30:16.369 --> 00:30:19.170
growth and learning. But before we continue to

00:30:19.170 --> 00:30:21.809
talk about that, Maya, can we go back to your

00:30:21.809 --> 00:30:25.240
high school years? Can you tell us about... your

00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:27.880
high school experience what kind of students

00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:31.180
you were the activities that you were doing those

00:30:31.180 --> 00:30:35.420
years which are kind of shaping the way the following

00:30:35.420 --> 00:30:40.980
one will look like yeah um so in high school

00:30:40.980 --> 00:30:45.000
i i had like i had mentioned before i was doing

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:47.099
a lot of different activities i also had like

00:30:47.099 --> 00:30:51.980
an overload of classes um and didn't have a lot

00:30:51.980 --> 00:30:57.750
of free time um i remember in high school on

00:30:57.750 --> 00:31:00.089
saturdays i would get together with my friends

00:31:00.089 --> 00:31:03.569
and it was back when you had to like rent a movie

00:31:03.569 --> 00:31:06.309
from blockbuster like you had to go to the physical

00:31:06.309 --> 00:31:09.109
store and like get a vhs tape and i think at

00:31:09.109 --> 00:31:13.089
the very end no i don't even think that i don't

00:31:13.089 --> 00:31:14.869
even think it was dvds i think it was really

00:31:14.869 --> 00:31:18.990
hs tapes i think maybe like when i was my first

00:31:18.990 --> 00:31:21.609
year in college it like switched to dvds but

00:31:21.609 --> 00:31:24.329
we would go to blockbuster and we'd get like

00:31:24.619 --> 00:31:29.240
one or two like um vhs tapes and they'd like

00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:31.460
pop them in we'd have popcorn and stuff me sitting

00:31:31.460 --> 00:31:34.920
there and like 10 minutes into the movie i would

00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:38.039
just be like asleep falling asleep like completely

00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:40.880
exhausted on friday night at like eight o 'clock

00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:43.460
like couldn't couldn't do anymore because i would

00:31:43.460 --> 00:31:45.759
just had too too many things that were going

00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:47.880
on but they would they were so nice to be like

00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:51.940
a cover with a blanket wake her up when it's

00:31:51.940 --> 00:31:56.039
time to drive her home um but yeah I like I had

00:31:56.039 --> 00:32:00.420
a lot going on um still like obviously in high

00:32:00.420 --> 00:32:03.279
school really focused on my on my grades and

00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:07.240
I had the first year of high school was still

00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:12.619
doing a lot of everything um the second year

00:32:12.619 --> 00:32:15.059
of high school had like stopped a couple things

00:32:15.059 --> 00:32:19.640
um but still had a lot going on um like I stopped

00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:23.380
piano, but then went back to fencing. So I guess

00:32:23.380 --> 00:32:25.420
it was kind of just a replacement and didn't

00:32:25.420 --> 00:32:29.279
really have a lesson that I was doing. But yeah,

00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:32.420
I stopped that first freshman year after a couple

00:32:32.420 --> 00:32:36.680
of weeks. And the reason I had started actually

00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:38.519
was because a group of my friends were just like,

00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.440
oh, let's just try this new sport. I didn't even

00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:42.940
know what it was. And like, none of us knew what

00:32:42.940 --> 00:32:46.140
it was, but we all just wanted to do it together.

00:32:46.680 --> 00:32:51.759
So we all tried. They continued. I stopped. And

00:32:51.759 --> 00:32:54.039
then I remember one day one of them was just

00:32:54.039 --> 00:32:56.240
playing around. We were like at our lockers and

00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:59.660
she was like, you know, my quitters never went

00:32:59.660 --> 00:33:03.759
in life. She said to me, and she was kind of

00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:06.240
joking, but I was like a little bit offended

00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:10.000
that she had said it. So then I said, okay, well,

00:33:10.019 --> 00:33:12.259
next year I'm going to have to start fencing

00:33:12.259 --> 00:33:16.299
again because she said that. Then I started again,

00:33:16.539 --> 00:33:18.279
and then I realized I really liked it, wanted

00:33:18.279 --> 00:33:20.299
to keep going, and, like, it kind of stuck. But,

00:33:20.339 --> 00:33:23.880
like, if she hadn't said that, I don't know if

00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:25.859
I would have gone back. Because I was really

00:33:25.859 --> 00:33:27.720
kind of like, I think that she might be right

00:33:27.720 --> 00:33:30.900
about that. I probably shouldn't just stop because

00:33:30.900 --> 00:33:34.920
of, you know, this one grade. But I did give

00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:40.619
myself that year. And then I went back. So I

00:33:40.619 --> 00:33:43.500
started again my second year of high school and

00:33:43.500 --> 00:33:46.119
then it kind of like snowballed from there. I

00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:51.420
started fencing outside of school and like going

00:33:51.420 --> 00:33:53.359
to a club and taking lessons and in competitions

00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:59.700
and stuff like that. So. Oh, wow. That conversation

00:33:59.700 --> 00:34:03.140
definitely changed your whole life. So you initially

00:34:03.140 --> 00:34:06.710
stopped because of. how difficult it was to manage

00:34:06.710 --> 00:34:09.909
everything so how did you move forward with balancing

00:34:09.909 --> 00:34:13.070
everything before a little bit earlier talks

00:34:13.070 --> 00:34:17.690
about like the the baseline of of acceptability

00:34:17.690 --> 00:34:20.489
i guess that i i guess i created in my head for

00:34:20.489 --> 00:34:24.909
myself perhaps but um what i knew i needed to

00:34:24.909 --> 00:34:29.469
do in order to get through high school at the

00:34:29.469 --> 00:34:31.090
level i wanted to get through high school at

00:34:31.090 --> 00:34:34.940
so that i would be able to go to the kind of

00:34:34.940 --> 00:34:36.980
university I wanted to go to and give myself

00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:42.039
the opportunities later um I think that actually

00:34:42.039 --> 00:34:45.079
a lot of that baseline well it was it came from

00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:47.500
different places so it came from my parents it

00:34:47.500 --> 00:34:49.420
came from my friends it came from my guidance

00:34:49.420 --> 00:34:52.599
counselors it came from even like I remember

00:34:52.599 --> 00:34:56.780
um they probably these are probably just all

00:34:56.780 --> 00:35:00.780
online now but when I was in middle school they

00:35:00.780 --> 00:35:07.280
had these huge like books um like you can go

00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:09.880
to like barnes and noble or like the library

00:35:09.880 --> 00:35:11.980
or whatever and get these books on like colleges

00:35:11.980 --> 00:35:14.300
and it would have like just excerpts from colleges

00:35:14.300 --> 00:35:16.840
and it would say like what the college was where

00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:20.139
it was like what the average gpa was of someone

00:35:20.139 --> 00:35:22.179
who entered the college like what the student

00:35:22.179 --> 00:35:24.420
teacher ratio was like all the things you can

00:35:24.420 --> 00:35:26.739
study and all that so i would like look at those

00:35:26.739 --> 00:35:31.440
books and try and find places that like seem

00:35:31.440 --> 00:35:34.179
like they would be interesting for me and then

00:35:34.179 --> 00:35:37.480
I think even like looking at those like numbers

00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:39.219
that they would put there like what you should

00:35:39.219 --> 00:35:41.420
get on your SAT and all of that other stuff like

00:35:41.420 --> 00:35:42.900
those were the things that I put in my head to

00:35:42.900 --> 00:35:46.340
like form these baselines so I think that whenever

00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:51.719
I was like falling below those then I would try

00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:56.340
to manage it by either easing up on an activity

00:35:56.340 --> 00:36:04.940
I was doing or maybe like deciding that I shouldn't

00:36:04.940 --> 00:36:09.860
like do a particular thing on a weekend or like

00:36:09.860 --> 00:36:12.539
staying up later so that I can make sure I studied

00:36:12.539 --> 00:36:16.619
for a really important quiz or test or whatever.

00:36:17.219 --> 00:36:23.380
I spent a lot of like, like late nights studying

00:36:23.380 --> 00:36:26.860
in college. I mean, and also in high school.

00:36:26.980 --> 00:36:31.190
So I think that the, in terms of managing it,

00:36:31.230 --> 00:36:35.309
like I wasn't really functioning on like as much

00:36:35.309 --> 00:36:38.210
sleep as a 14 to 18 year old should be probably.

00:36:38.230 --> 00:36:44.449
So I think that what I was able to do that was

00:36:44.449 --> 00:36:47.889
good was that, or what my parents were able to

00:36:47.889 --> 00:36:51.989
do that was good was let me know when I was like

00:36:51.989 --> 00:36:55.469
going overboard too much with something. So I

00:36:55.469 --> 00:37:04.000
remember i wanted to i wanted to um go to a fencing

00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:08.139
camp when i was a junior in high school i think

00:37:08.139 --> 00:37:11.840
like all summer because i wanted to like get

00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:13.960
better and go to the junior olympics and this

00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:17.460
and and all that and my mom was was like okay

00:37:17.460 --> 00:37:20.039
fine you can go to the camp and in the same year

00:37:20.039 --> 00:37:25.159
i got like accepted into this like um what they

00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:29.039
call it Oh, gosh, I can't believe I forgot the

00:37:29.039 --> 00:37:32.480
name. I think it was called the Governor's Program

00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:35.699
in New Jersey. And basically they like chose

00:37:35.699 --> 00:37:40.159
like 20 or 30 kids from the whole state to go

00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:44.179
to like this college campus and like take classes

00:37:44.179 --> 00:37:48.599
all summer. And I was ready to. like not go to

00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:50.239
that and go to the fencing camp. My mom was like,

00:37:50.280 --> 00:37:53.500
absolutely not. You're going to the governor's

00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:56.480
school because school is first and like everything

00:37:56.480 --> 00:37:59.480
else is second. So I think that there was also

00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:02.239
that mindset as well. Like sometimes I had to

00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:05.760
give up the other stuff and not do it so that

00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:10.860
I was on point with the academic things. And

00:38:10.860 --> 00:38:14.199
my parents helped me to make those choices when

00:38:14.199 --> 00:38:17.260
I... I thought I could make them myself, but

00:38:17.260 --> 00:38:20.900
they helped me along to figure out what the best

00:38:20.900 --> 00:38:23.800
choices were to make based off of their lived

00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:26.460
experiences as well. So I think that some of

00:38:26.460 --> 00:38:28.320
the management came from outside from them. Some

00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:30.099
of the management came from me, like figuring

00:38:30.099 --> 00:38:32.519
out when I should do a little bit less of something

00:38:32.519 --> 00:38:35.400
or a little bit more of something else. Um, some

00:38:35.400 --> 00:38:39.000
of it came to from, you know, little digs from,

00:38:39.039 --> 00:38:40.679
from friends when they thought I wasn't doing

00:38:40.679 --> 00:38:42.059
something well enough when they thought I could

00:38:42.059 --> 00:38:44.480
do it better. So I think it came from, from many

00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:50.400
places. Um, and yeah, I would say it goes back

00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:53.460
to that idea of the, the ecosystem that's created

00:38:53.460 --> 00:38:56.119
that helps you to figure out like what the balance

00:38:56.119 --> 00:39:00.860
should be. Um, when sometimes you can't or are

00:39:00.860 --> 00:39:03.559
not as great. at making those decisions yourself

00:39:03.559 --> 00:39:06.000
especially if you're someone who is a little

00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:11.219
bit over ambitious okay so there are three things

00:39:11.219 --> 00:39:14.159
you have to keep in mind the first thing you

00:39:14.159 --> 00:39:16.920
need to do is to understand the expectation the

00:39:16.920 --> 00:39:20.059
next expectations so here maya is explaining

00:39:20.059 --> 00:39:22.659
you that she was making research to understand

00:39:22.659 --> 00:39:26.840
what were the act scores that were needed and

00:39:26.840 --> 00:39:30.239
what did she need to have to make sure that she

00:39:30.239 --> 00:39:33.500
would be considered if she was applying to x

00:39:33.500 --> 00:39:36.079
or y school if you have a clear understanding

00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.780
of the expectations at least at least you can

00:39:38.780 --> 00:39:40.699
understand where you need to invest your time

00:39:40.699 --> 00:39:44.860
okay so the second thing is she didn't use that

00:39:44.860 --> 00:39:47.280
word but you need to learn how to prioritize

00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:50.400
and it actually goes hand in hand with the first

00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:53.380
point because if your time is limited and you

00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:56.519
still want to enjoy your sport class and the

00:39:56.519 --> 00:39:59.019
other activity because it helps you in any way

00:39:59.019 --> 00:40:02.639
it helps you It helps you get better, feel better,

00:40:02.780 --> 00:40:06.860
or any other great feeling. So daily, weekly,

00:40:07.079 --> 00:40:10.059
monthly, you need to understand and try to plan

00:40:10.059 --> 00:40:13.719
on what you need to do to make sure that you're

00:40:13.719 --> 00:40:17.739
meeting at least the minimum expectations from

00:40:17.739 --> 00:40:21.539
where you want to go. And the third point is

00:40:21.539 --> 00:40:24.400
seeking advice and sometimes actually listening

00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:27.809
to people who are slightly older than us. doesn't

00:40:27.809 --> 00:40:29.710
need to be people who are decades older than

00:40:29.710 --> 00:40:32.210
us if we don't have those people around us but

00:40:32.210 --> 00:40:34.849
it can also be someone who's just slightly older

00:40:34.849 --> 00:40:37.809
because they have a clearer understanding of

00:40:37.809 --> 00:40:42.030
what you'll face very very soon and this actually

00:40:42.030 --> 00:40:44.489
refers to the governor's program can you tell

00:40:44.489 --> 00:40:46.929
us a little bit more like what is this program

00:40:46.929 --> 00:40:50.789
what is in intel how did you apply for it tell

00:40:50.789 --> 00:40:54.329
us everything about it well i wish i could tell

00:40:54.329 --> 00:40:59.090
you more but it was really It was it was a surprise

00:40:59.090 --> 00:41:01.750
to me, too, because I think what happened was

00:41:01.750 --> 00:41:05.789
I think I didn't apply to anything like I don't

00:41:05.789 --> 00:41:07.510
remember filling out any forms. I don't remember

00:41:07.510 --> 00:41:11.889
like knowing what this was before it happened.

00:41:12.170 --> 00:41:16.170
So what we understood was that like a teacher

00:41:16.170 --> 00:41:19.489
had done it for me. So someone had like put my

00:41:19.489 --> 00:41:21.750
name somewhere and then like I got this letter

00:41:21.750 --> 00:41:25.900
that was like. if you'd like to go to this program,

00:41:26.059 --> 00:41:28.539
I'm kind of like, oh, wow, that's interesting.

00:41:28.679 --> 00:41:31.760
No, it was done for me in some way. I don't know

00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:35.260
if that was normal or not, or if someone just

00:41:35.260 --> 00:41:37.860
decided to do that. And that's how it worked

00:41:37.860 --> 00:41:40.880
in my case. Like, I have no idea. But it was

00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:43.500
a really great program. It was at Monmouth University,

00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:47.179
which was coincidentally like 15 minutes from

00:41:47.179 --> 00:41:49.159
my grandmother's house. So my mom thought that

00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:54.000
was great. so I was going away but not really

00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:57.340
going away um it was my junior year of high school

00:41:57.340 --> 00:42:02.039
between my junior and senior year I believe yeah

00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:06.960
um and we just took classes there we lived like

00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:13.500
on campus we um we uh like lived like almost

00:42:13.500 --> 00:42:16.320
like as college students but like in high school

00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:21.909
and I think The classes that I took were on like

00:42:21.909 --> 00:42:27.809
logistics and transport, something really random.

00:42:28.110 --> 00:42:30.409
But I learned a lot because we were also not

00:42:30.409 --> 00:42:33.269
very far from like the ports in New Jersey. So

00:42:33.269 --> 00:42:35.329
we would like go on these trips and we'd learn

00:42:35.329 --> 00:42:38.570
about like container cars and stuff like that.

00:42:38.630 --> 00:42:40.269
So I mean, I think it was really mostly just

00:42:40.269 --> 00:42:44.590
an opportunity to have high school students who

00:42:44.590 --> 00:42:47.869
like, you know. excelled in high school and got

00:42:47.869 --> 00:42:50.670
good grades to learn on a college campus and

00:42:50.670 --> 00:42:52.769
get a bit of a feel for that before they actually

00:42:52.769 --> 00:42:55.769
went away to school. And then they could figure

00:42:55.769 --> 00:42:57.570
out, too, a little bit more about what it was

00:42:57.570 --> 00:42:59.510
that they were interested in studying and stuff

00:42:59.510 --> 00:43:00.869
like that. But I had a really great time. It

00:43:00.869 --> 00:43:05.070
was a lot of fun. And I would recommend it if

00:43:05.070 --> 00:43:08.389
it still exists for anyone who happens to be

00:43:08.389 --> 00:43:11.889
in New Jersey and looking for something to do

00:43:11.889 --> 00:43:17.099
between junior and senior year. And do you remember

00:43:17.099 --> 00:43:19.260
if you had to pay for it? No, I didn't have to

00:43:19.260 --> 00:43:21.239
pay anything. No, no, it was free. Yeah, that

00:43:21.239 --> 00:43:24.059
I definitely remember. That also might have been

00:43:24.059 --> 00:43:28.119
one of the things my mother realized as being

00:43:28.119 --> 00:43:31.360
a very interesting point for the governor's school,

00:43:31.380 --> 00:43:34.500
that no, it was completely free. So if you're

00:43:34.500 --> 00:43:37.320
interested in joining any kind of programs. similar

00:43:37.320 --> 00:43:39.880
to this one, I would suggest you to reach out

00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:42.760
to counselors or teachers within your high school.

00:43:42.920 --> 00:43:45.900
Maybe the program is not called like that, but

00:43:45.900 --> 00:43:48.599
you can probably explain that you would love

00:43:48.599 --> 00:43:51.340
to take part of a similar program. So you did

00:43:51.340 --> 00:43:53.699
mention that you got into that program because

00:43:53.699 --> 00:43:56.940
you had great grades. Can you tell us more? What

00:43:56.940 --> 00:43:59.199
about the people surrounding you? Were your friends

00:43:59.199 --> 00:44:02.659
as studious as you were? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:02.739 --> 00:44:07.139
I mean, I did have good grades and in high school

00:44:07.139 --> 00:44:12.320
um and but there were a lot of people who had

00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:14.639
better grades than than me in high school like

00:44:14.639 --> 00:44:19.480
i i think um i mean i wasn't by any means the

00:44:19.480 --> 00:44:22.980
valedictorian or the salutatorian but those were

00:44:22.980 --> 00:44:27.039
my friends so i think that that is really important

00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:30.679
it's not you then it's good for it to be a friend

00:44:30.679 --> 00:44:33.659
but no i think that that also helps you to have

00:44:33.659 --> 00:44:39.000
a certain kind of um standard as well it makes

00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:41.840
it easier you're not really you know like if

00:44:41.840 --> 00:44:46.460
you're if you've got people that you can um you

00:44:46.460 --> 00:44:50.980
can look up to and that who you know you're to

00:44:50.980 --> 00:44:53.519
a certain extent emulating in terms of the way

00:44:53.519 --> 00:44:56.179
that they work and what they think is important

00:44:56.179 --> 00:45:00.219
then then that definitely definitely helps um

00:45:00.219 --> 00:45:09.050
and i think that Um, the, there were also, you

00:45:09.050 --> 00:45:14.909
know, like, um, a fair amount of friends that

00:45:14.909 --> 00:45:22.230
I had, um, who were like through sports and other

00:45:22.230 --> 00:45:26.409
activities from other places. Um, and I think

00:45:26.409 --> 00:45:28.869
that also having that kind of diversity and in

00:45:28.869 --> 00:45:31.789
friendships gives you a different kind of perspective.

00:45:32.800 --> 00:45:38.099
which is also super important. And during those

00:45:38.099 --> 00:45:41.460
years, how did you make it through those difficult

00:45:41.460 --> 00:45:44.719
times? So you did explain to us that when you

00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:47.920
had a lower grade, you would just try to reprioritize

00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:51.260
and identify where you could invest more time.

00:45:51.480 --> 00:45:53.659
What was your first reaction when you had those

00:45:53.659 --> 00:45:56.659
lower grades? Were you realizing that was...

00:45:57.130 --> 00:46:00.070
an opportunity for growth, for learning, for

00:46:00.070 --> 00:46:02.550
improving your strategies. What about sports?

00:46:02.690 --> 00:46:05.369
Were you also identifying opportunities for improvement,

00:46:05.489 --> 00:46:08.130
for growth? Were you taking those difficult moments

00:46:08.130 --> 00:46:10.409
personally? How did you manage those moments?

00:46:10.610 --> 00:46:14.550
How did you make it through those moments? No,

00:46:14.710 --> 00:46:16.469
so that's definitely not the first reaction.

00:46:16.750 --> 00:46:21.090
The first reaction is like, for me, I would say

00:46:21.090 --> 00:46:27.320
sadness, sorrow, shame. And then, I don't know,

00:46:27.340 --> 00:46:30.559
sometimes it could be a few hours later, sometimes

00:46:30.559 --> 00:46:33.579
it can be a week later, sometimes a month later,

00:46:33.739 --> 00:46:35.500
then it's like, okay, what are you going to do

00:46:35.500 --> 00:46:37.579
about it? How are you going to change this and

00:46:37.579 --> 00:46:43.780
turn it around? I remember one time, I'm laughing

00:46:43.780 --> 00:46:45.860
now because it's so ridiculous when I think about

00:46:45.860 --> 00:46:48.199
it, but it's something that happened and that

00:46:48.199 --> 00:46:56.010
I was able to turn around. In high school, I

00:46:56.010 --> 00:46:58.550
was on the fencing team, like I mentioned, and

00:46:58.550 --> 00:47:05.269
we were fencing another team. And the fencing

00:47:05.269 --> 00:47:08.809
team didn't have a lot of resources in terms

00:47:08.809 --> 00:47:11.889
of like where we could have our matches. They

00:47:11.889 --> 00:47:14.570
were just like in the cafeteria. So we would

00:47:14.570 --> 00:47:17.969
push like all the tables to the like out of the

00:47:17.969 --> 00:47:20.170
middle of the cafeteria and put them on the sides

00:47:20.170 --> 00:47:22.130
and we would just have fencing strips in the

00:47:22.130 --> 00:47:23.309
middle. And that's where we would have our meets.

00:47:24.489 --> 00:47:27.090
we had another team come it was a home meet and

00:47:27.090 --> 00:47:31.829
i remember my mom came and watched and um and

00:47:31.829 --> 00:47:36.050
i so like there are three different bouts that

00:47:36.050 --> 00:47:38.289
you can have you you fence three times in a team

00:47:38.289 --> 00:47:43.289
meet and i had fenced twice and won and fenced

00:47:43.289 --> 00:47:46.829
once and lost and i was really really upset that

00:47:46.829 --> 00:47:51.880
i had lost But winning two and losing one is

00:47:51.880 --> 00:47:54.320
not, like, it's fine. Like, there's not a big

00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:56.500
deal about it. But for me, this was, like, the

00:47:56.500 --> 00:47:58.860
absolute worst thing that could have happened.

00:47:58.920 --> 00:48:00.639
We didn't lose the meet. We still won the meet.

00:48:01.059 --> 00:48:03.820
Like, I think that I lost by, like, one point

00:48:03.820 --> 00:48:05.880
or something. But I was, like, so embarrassed,

00:48:06.059 --> 00:48:10.920
so devastated. And because I think also at this

00:48:10.920 --> 00:48:13.280
point, it was expected that I would win all of

00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:17.860
my bouts. So I remember. And at this point, I

00:48:17.860 --> 00:48:21.460
was like 16. I crawled underneath the table in

00:48:21.460 --> 00:48:25.460
the cafeteria with all of my fencing stuff on.

00:48:25.519 --> 00:48:28.900
I was just crying because I was so upset. And

00:48:28.900 --> 00:48:31.239
that was like my first reaction. And a couple

00:48:31.239 --> 00:48:34.840
of minutes later, I got up. And also too, this

00:48:34.840 --> 00:48:37.599
is, I think at this point, I wasn't the captain

00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:39.260
of the team. So it was kind of still acceptable

00:48:39.260 --> 00:48:41.800
that I would have this behavior that was like,

00:48:41.900 --> 00:48:47.829
you know, not so. Not so hurrah, hurrah, hurrah

00:48:47.829 --> 00:48:50.469
for everybody. The next year after that, when

00:48:50.469 --> 00:48:52.710
I was captain, I think that's something important

00:48:52.710 --> 00:48:54.789
to remember that it wouldn't have been acceptable

00:48:54.789 --> 00:48:58.429
because when you're leading people, you do have

00:48:58.429 --> 00:49:02.769
to know when you can. show all of your emotions

00:49:02.769 --> 00:49:04.949
and when you should hide them because you were

00:49:04.949 --> 00:49:06.670
supposed to be the one that's inspiring them.

00:49:06.789 --> 00:49:09.869
At that point, though, I was still I was still

00:49:09.869 --> 00:49:12.329
kind of, you know, like I wasn't captain. So

00:49:12.329 --> 00:49:14.750
they gave me a bit of leeway to cry under the

00:49:14.750 --> 00:49:16.670
tables, crying under the table, got back out.

00:49:17.170 --> 00:49:21.130
And then what did that mean? No, it was it meant

00:49:21.130 --> 00:49:24.409
like I took off all my stuff, my fencing stuff.

00:49:24.650 --> 00:49:29.289
The meet was over. I put my bag away. And then.

00:49:30.110 --> 00:49:32.269
I went home and I got my other bag that I got

00:49:32.269 --> 00:49:34.469
for club practice. And then at night, that night

00:49:34.469 --> 00:49:36.190
at seven o 'clock, I went to club practice and

00:49:36.190 --> 00:49:39.489
I stayed till like 1030. And that was my way

00:49:39.489 --> 00:49:43.769
of like seeing the problem and like wanting to

00:49:43.769 --> 00:49:46.429
turn it around. again I was probably over dramatic

00:49:46.429 --> 00:49:50.429
I don't I don't even know if the three I mean

00:49:50.429 --> 00:49:53.210
every every hour of practice helps but like that

00:49:53.210 --> 00:49:56.110
was my way of of saying okay I have to fix the

00:49:56.110 --> 00:49:57.710
situation like these are the things that went

00:49:57.710 --> 00:49:59.590
wrong that shouldn't have gone wrong like I have

00:49:59.590 --> 00:50:02.010
to work on trying to fix them and I went and

00:50:02.010 --> 00:50:06.269
I immediately did that so I think that um that

00:50:06.269 --> 00:50:10.000
is kind of how Like the difference between the

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:11.760
immediate feeling and reaction and then like

00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:13.860
what you do about it. And sometimes, like I said,

00:50:13.940 --> 00:50:15.960
that can be hours in between. Sometimes it's

00:50:15.960 --> 00:50:19.780
a week, sometimes it's a month. It varies. But

00:50:19.780 --> 00:50:25.800
yeah, everyone has that first reaction, I think,

00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:32.219
of sadness and disappointment. But it's what

00:50:32.219 --> 00:50:36.559
you do after that makes the difference. Absolutely.

00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:40.659
that will happen over and over again but it's

00:50:40.659 --> 00:50:43.159
always what you do after that's the most important

00:50:43.159 --> 00:50:48.059
i could not agree more and would you say that

00:50:48.059 --> 00:50:52.440
crying and externalizing it helped you come back

00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:58.039
stronger um yeah i think it did i mean i think

00:50:58.039 --> 00:51:05.139
that you there's always um a um amount of just

00:51:05.139 --> 00:51:09.440
like rawness that you need to go through sometimes

00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:14.039
before moving on and fixing a problem, like just

00:51:14.039 --> 00:51:17.559
sitting with emotions and feeling them instead

00:51:17.559 --> 00:51:20.480
of just covering them up and trying to move on.

00:51:21.199 --> 00:51:24.519
So, I mean, if the same thing or I'm sure the

00:51:24.519 --> 00:51:26.800
same thing did happen the next year when I was

00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:29.539
captain of the team, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't

00:51:29.539 --> 00:51:31.739
like cry. I just wouldn't do it in the middle

00:51:31.739 --> 00:51:36.500
of the cafeteria. i would have to say okay i

00:51:36.500 --> 00:51:39.059
have to you have to keep a strong face just make

00:51:39.059 --> 00:51:42.739
sure that like the entire team so maybe it means

00:51:42.739 --> 00:51:45.659
like going into the bathroom or maybe it means

00:51:45.659 --> 00:51:47.800
like just waiting a couple of hours and letting

00:51:47.800 --> 00:51:49.900
it out at home like you have to figure out also

00:51:49.900 --> 00:51:52.440
i think and this is important just in life in

00:51:52.440 --> 00:51:54.539
general like when and where it's appropriate

00:51:54.539 --> 00:51:58.340
to show emotion um in public and where it's not

00:51:58.340 --> 00:52:01.039
particularly if you're you know well if you're

00:52:01.039 --> 00:52:04.519
in the workplace or if you are like leading um

00:52:04.519 --> 00:52:09.039
a a team whether it's a sports team or a team

00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:11.619
at work or something like that you have to know

00:52:11.619 --> 00:52:13.300
what's appropriate and what's not appropriate

00:52:13.300 --> 00:52:16.159
and a lot of high schools is about that learning

00:52:16.159 --> 00:52:18.340
about what works what doesn't how to how to work

00:52:18.340 --> 00:52:20.940
how to learn what's appropriate what isn't so

00:52:20.940 --> 00:52:23.760
you know that second year like when when i would

00:52:23.760 --> 00:52:25.539
feel bad i would just have to figure out ways

00:52:25.539 --> 00:52:29.309
that you know i i was able to still feel that

00:52:29.309 --> 00:52:32.769
rawness, but perhaps not in the same kind of,

00:52:32.769 --> 00:52:36.309
you know, public melodramatic way that I would

00:52:36.309 --> 00:52:38.929
do it previously. But yeah, it actually, I mean,

00:52:38.949 --> 00:52:42.070
I think it does help to, you know, you have to

00:52:42.070 --> 00:52:45.150
let yourself feel different feelings in order

00:52:45.150 --> 00:52:48.829
to move past them. If you don't feel those feelings

00:52:48.829 --> 00:52:51.030
and you just pretend like they're not there,

00:52:51.150 --> 00:52:53.789
then they will just come back in some way, shape

00:52:53.789 --> 00:52:57.400
or form later. So there's one thing. you have

00:52:57.400 --> 00:53:00.300
to keep in mind the failure which you can consider

00:53:00.300 --> 00:53:04.679
as a lesson is not defining what's going to happen

00:53:04.679 --> 00:53:08.539
next but your action following that situation

00:53:08.539 --> 00:53:12.739
is going to define it so as much as you can try

00:53:12.739 --> 00:53:16.219
to seize any opportunity to learn from what happened

00:53:16.219 --> 00:53:20.119
what didn't go well what can you do better what

00:53:20.119 --> 00:53:23.139
are the resources around me which i can leverage

00:53:23.139 --> 00:53:29.630
to improve in any way or capacity? Who's surrounding

00:53:29.630 --> 00:53:33.389
me and can help me? What's my next immediate

00:53:33.389 --> 00:53:40.230
step? Also, Maya, earlier you were sharing that

00:53:40.230 --> 00:53:45.150
there were two options for your junior high summer.

00:53:45.610 --> 00:53:49.250
So either going to the governance program or

00:53:49.250 --> 00:53:52.960
going to that training camp. It's going to be

00:53:52.960 --> 00:53:57.460
a very difficult question. But how do you build

00:53:57.460 --> 00:54:02.400
the confidence to aim this high and say to yourself,

00:54:02.699 --> 00:54:09.599
I think I can represent my country? How did I

00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:16.619
decide? It was never like, I think I can do this.

00:54:17.599 --> 00:54:20.079
It was more like, this is what I want to do.

00:54:20.300 --> 00:54:24.289
And how do I do it? and then later it was like

00:54:24.289 --> 00:54:27.090
you know you always have like i'm not sure will

00:54:27.090 --> 00:54:29.230
this work am i good enough like all those things

00:54:29.230 --> 00:54:32.789
come but like the main thing was always like

00:54:32.789 --> 00:54:36.570
i want to do this thing so how do i do this um

00:54:36.570 --> 00:54:43.309
and i remember the timing was was was um like

00:54:43.309 --> 00:54:45.550
i guess you can say good for that too like i

00:54:45.550 --> 00:54:50.099
saw the like 1996 olympics were in atlanta and

00:54:50.099 --> 00:54:51.940
they were on tv and this was like when i was

00:54:51.940 --> 00:54:53.539
junior in high school so that was like super

00:54:53.539 --> 00:54:56.159
inspirational i remember watching a lot of gymnastics

00:54:56.159 --> 00:55:00.280
that summer um and like i mean because fencing

00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:02.079
they didn't have on television at all but they

00:55:02.079 --> 00:55:04.760
had a lot of gymnastics on on tv and swimming

00:55:04.760 --> 00:55:07.239
and stuff like that so that was very very inspirational

00:55:07.239 --> 00:55:10.980
too and that's kind of like when i was you know

00:55:10.980 --> 00:55:14.340
i got the I kind of got it in my head, like,

00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:15.739
that's what I want to do. Like, if I'm going

00:55:15.739 --> 00:55:19.099
to do this and spend all this time doing this

00:55:19.099 --> 00:55:23.679
thing, like, I may as well try and do like, you

00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:27.300
know, it at the highest level. That's kind of

00:55:27.300 --> 00:55:32.360
like the way I was thinking. Yeah, it was it

00:55:32.360 --> 00:55:34.559
was. And then after that, it just kind of became,

00:55:34.679 --> 00:55:36.679
well, like, what are the things that I need to

00:55:36.679 --> 00:55:41.000
do in order to get there? And I wasn't like super

00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:43.920
clear on paths and how things worked until like

00:55:43.920 --> 00:55:47.099
my coach started explaining it to me. But like,

00:55:47.159 --> 00:55:50.139
I just knew that I just had to go to a lot of

00:55:50.139 --> 00:55:53.400
practices and go to a lot of competitions. And

00:55:53.400 --> 00:55:59.260
so that's what was basically on my mind. So build

00:55:59.260 --> 00:56:02.639
your confidence through actions, through learning,

00:56:02.780 --> 00:56:05.320
through trying. And this is absolutely applicable

00:56:05.320 --> 00:56:09.079
to your courses, to your classes. And we'll shortly

00:56:09.079 --> 00:56:11.780
talk about Maya's higher education, but essentially

00:56:11.780 --> 00:56:14.719
it's the idea of putting yourself in a situation

00:56:14.719 --> 00:56:17.719
where you are identifying the next steps to achieve

00:56:17.719 --> 00:56:21.400
something you have identified. The process will

00:56:21.400 --> 00:56:25.960
be extremely long and challenging, but the idea

00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:28.000
is that you can make it through the challenges

00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:32.059
as long as you're identifying either your own

00:56:32.059 --> 00:56:36.289
tiny steps or... you identify people within your

00:56:36.289 --> 00:56:38.690
ecosystem who can guide you and help you move

00:56:38.690 --> 00:56:41.789
toward that goal. And to wrap up on those high

00:56:41.789 --> 00:56:44.789
school years, do you have any pieces of advice

00:56:44.789 --> 00:56:47.570
for parents, for the younger generation listening

00:56:47.570 --> 00:56:56.110
to us now? Make a plan. Make a plan early. Early

00:56:56.110 --> 00:57:00.130
meaning like, you know, I would say start thinking

00:57:00.130 --> 00:57:04.309
in eighth grade what it is that you want. to

00:57:04.309 --> 00:57:08.329
have done by the end of 12th grade. Because a

00:57:08.329 --> 00:57:11.349
lot of the time, the way that classes and schools

00:57:11.349 --> 00:57:14.989
are set up, if you're not in the right place

00:57:14.989 --> 00:57:16.929
at the right time, it can be even harder for

00:57:16.929 --> 00:57:19.090
you to get there later. So I would say make a

00:57:19.090 --> 00:57:21.550
plan, but it's okay if the plan changes, that's

00:57:21.550 --> 00:57:27.389
fine. And that might change because of what you

00:57:27.389 --> 00:57:31.199
decide you want to do. that's different or what

00:57:31.199 --> 00:57:34.139
you fall into. Like maybe you start playing an

00:57:34.139 --> 00:57:35.760
instrument and that becomes your passion. Or

00:57:35.760 --> 00:57:39.900
maybe you decide that you, I don't know, want

00:57:39.900 --> 00:57:42.940
to study abroad for a year in high school and

00:57:42.940 --> 00:57:45.280
learn a language. Like maybe things can happen.

00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:47.320
So that's okay if the plan changes, but have

00:57:47.320 --> 00:57:50.059
a plan at the beginning for sure. I would say

00:57:50.059 --> 00:57:55.429
to get support from the guidance counselor or

00:57:55.429 --> 00:57:58.809
someone at school who knows the inside workings

00:57:58.809 --> 00:58:00.510
of the system, because there are things that

00:58:00.510 --> 00:58:02.550
you probably don't know about that they might

00:58:02.550 --> 00:58:05.570
know about. Maybe it's scholarships, maybe it's

00:58:05.570 --> 00:58:08.349
programs over the summer, maybe it's a certain

00:58:08.349 --> 00:58:12.630
group or series of courses that you need to take.

00:58:12.710 --> 00:58:15.969
There are plenty of things that they know about

00:58:15.969 --> 00:58:17.909
because they've just been there for so long.

00:58:19.250 --> 00:58:22.500
And then the last thing I would say is try not

00:58:22.500 --> 00:58:25.960
to stress too much out about everything. It is

00:58:25.960 --> 00:58:30.000
a stressful time, but, you know, one test is

00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:32.019
not the end of the world. If something goes wrong,

00:58:32.099 --> 00:58:36.019
it does not mean that, you know, it's everything

00:58:36.019 --> 00:58:40.039
that you've been trying to accomplish can't be

00:58:40.039 --> 00:58:42.900
accomplished. Like the one good thing about.

00:58:43.719 --> 00:58:45.780
high school and school in general is that there

00:58:45.780 --> 00:58:48.199
are so many opportunities to succeed and if you

00:58:48.199 --> 00:58:50.719
if something goes wrong once or twice or three

00:58:50.719 --> 00:58:54.840
times or however many times um you can still

00:58:54.840 --> 00:58:58.099
turn it around it doesn't mean that um it's the

00:58:58.099 --> 00:59:03.340
the end all thank you maya Now, tell us more

00:59:03.340 --> 00:59:06.079
about your higher education. You earlier said

00:59:06.079 --> 00:59:08.340
that you were empowered to go to Princeton. So

00:59:08.340 --> 00:59:11.480
tell us about the support you received and the

00:59:11.480 --> 00:59:13.820
pieces of advice you received yourself, but also

00:59:13.820 --> 00:59:16.639
all about your experience there, how fencing

00:59:16.639 --> 00:59:19.579
was still playing a huge part of your life, and

00:59:19.579 --> 00:59:22.619
why you chose to study political science when

00:59:22.619 --> 00:59:25.260
earlier you were talking about economics, for

00:59:25.260 --> 00:59:29.360
example. Well, I can talk about going from high

00:59:29.360 --> 00:59:35.780
school to... to Princeton. I didn't apply there

00:59:35.780 --> 00:59:38.059
at the very beginning. I applied to a bunch of

00:59:38.059 --> 00:59:45.199
other schools and one school early as well. But

00:59:45.199 --> 00:59:48.860
then I was kind of like at a point where I was

00:59:48.860 --> 00:59:50.280
trying to make a decision about where I wanted

00:59:50.280 --> 00:59:54.840
to go. And my mom said, oh, you should apply

00:59:54.840 --> 00:59:59.159
to Princeton too. And I was kind of like, I,

01:00:00.239 --> 01:00:03.340
why should I do that? And she was like, just

01:00:03.340 --> 01:00:05.340
to see, just to see, we don't know, blah, blah,

01:00:05.380 --> 01:00:07.800
blah. I was like, okay, well, whatever. So I

01:00:07.800 --> 01:00:14.219
applied also. And then I found out that I got

01:00:14.219 --> 01:00:18.980
in. So I, at the, I guess it was in April, when

01:00:18.980 --> 01:00:20.780
you have to choose which school you're going

01:00:20.780 --> 01:00:25.840
to go to, I had a lot of different choices. And

01:00:25.840 --> 01:00:30.500
I was not going to, choose it actually but my

01:00:30.500 --> 01:00:34.980
mom again said well let's just go on like the

01:00:34.980 --> 01:00:38.159
like there was a weekend that you could do I

01:00:38.159 --> 01:00:40.579
think I can't remember what it was called but

01:00:40.579 --> 01:00:43.800
it was like a weekend where I stayed with people

01:00:43.800 --> 01:00:48.820
who were already at the school like freshmen

01:00:48.820 --> 01:00:52.340
I guess so I stayed with them for a weekend and

01:00:52.340 --> 01:00:54.719
then I came back I was like oh I think I think

01:00:54.719 --> 01:00:56.980
I might want to go I think it might be I think

01:00:56.980 --> 01:01:00.460
it might be I think it could be in a nice place.

01:01:00.579 --> 01:01:05.000
So then I decided to go. And I have to say also,

01:01:05.099 --> 01:01:07.940
Princeton has amazing, amazing, amazing and still

01:01:07.940 --> 01:01:10.719
does financial aid. And that was a key factor

01:01:10.719 --> 01:01:15.219
as well. The majority of the other schools I

01:01:15.219 --> 01:01:18.000
applied to gave me good packages, but it was

01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:21.420
by far the best one. So that also was very helpful.

01:01:21.500 --> 01:01:23.219
And I'm very, very grateful and thankful for

01:01:23.219 --> 01:01:29.340
that. Once I was there, like I had mentioned

01:01:29.340 --> 01:01:32.559
before, I thought maybe I would study economics

01:01:32.559 --> 01:01:38.699
or something other than what I ended up studying,

01:01:38.760 --> 01:01:44.659
but I ended up studying. So the major was what

01:01:44.659 --> 01:01:46.539
was called politics, but it's basically political

01:01:46.539 --> 01:01:52.449
science and government. And a lot of political

01:01:52.449 --> 01:01:55.289
theory. I also did a minor in African -American

01:01:55.289 --> 01:01:57.670
studies. So I had a lot of classes about like

01:01:57.670 --> 01:02:02.010
the intersections between race and class and

01:02:02.010 --> 01:02:04.670
gender and politics. And I loved it. I thought

01:02:04.670 --> 01:02:09.489
it was so interesting to study. And I thought

01:02:09.489 --> 01:02:13.250
about this a little bit, like why I decided to

01:02:13.250 --> 01:02:15.869
study that. And I think I decided to study that

01:02:15.869 --> 01:02:20.760
because it helped me to. understand better like

01:02:20.760 --> 01:02:24.820
what was going on around me in the U .S. and

01:02:24.820 --> 01:02:29.360
in the world too at a certain level but particularly

01:02:29.360 --> 01:02:31.480
in the U .S. because the classes were like very

01:02:31.480 --> 01:02:35.280
very actually U .S. focused in terms of the things

01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:40.960
that were around politics and history and anthropology

01:02:40.960 --> 01:02:45.679
and stuff like that so I think that Yeah, I think

01:02:45.679 --> 01:02:47.699
that it helped me to kind of like make sense

01:02:47.699 --> 01:02:50.380
of things better, to understand why things happened

01:02:50.380 --> 01:02:52.400
or why things could happen or why things should

01:02:52.400 --> 01:02:56.219
happen or why things might not happen by understanding

01:02:56.219 --> 01:03:00.340
like the history and the theories and everything

01:03:00.340 --> 01:03:07.019
that happened in the past, like at a more, at

01:03:07.019 --> 01:03:12.159
a deeper level. So I think that that's why I

01:03:12.159 --> 01:03:16.119
chose to. focus on on those things while I was

01:03:16.119 --> 01:03:19.940
in school um and yeah I really enjoyed it I thought

01:03:19.940 --> 01:03:24.719
it was um I thought it was really um a really

01:03:24.719 --> 01:03:27.659
solid education around all those those different

01:03:27.659 --> 01:03:29.960
themes of course there are there are all kinds

01:03:29.960 --> 01:03:32.139
of themes that themes that change like every

01:03:32.139 --> 01:03:35.500
every year five years or ten years so I actually

01:03:35.500 --> 01:03:38.920
also was I was thinking a couple months ago how

01:03:38.920 --> 01:03:41.900
interesting it would be to go back and redo all

01:03:41.900 --> 01:03:44.659
those classes that I took, but now and how different

01:03:44.659 --> 01:03:48.119
they would be. Um, and like how all the, like,

01:03:48.199 --> 01:03:50.780
you know, how the teachers would explain things

01:03:50.780 --> 01:03:52.699
and like how they would talk about history of

01:03:52.699 --> 01:03:55.579
20 years ago as like 20 years ago, but not what

01:03:55.579 --> 01:03:57.139
was happening in present day and how it would

01:03:57.139 --> 01:03:59.119
be super interesting to like, just redo all those

01:03:59.119 --> 01:04:00.800
classes and wondering what they would be like.

01:04:01.280 --> 01:04:04.760
Um, but yeah, I, I think that the, the choice

01:04:04.760 --> 01:04:08.000
that I made in terms of the major was, was probably

01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:12.389
on a a deeper psychological level than I'd like

01:04:12.389 --> 01:04:15.510
to, or than I realized at the time. But that

01:04:15.510 --> 01:04:18.489
I really did, I really do think that it was a

01:04:18.489 --> 01:04:23.429
great education, a great way to learn about learning

01:04:23.429 --> 01:04:26.730
and to learn about what was going on in the world.

01:04:30.429 --> 01:04:33.929
That makes so much sense. And did you know exactly

01:04:33.929 --> 01:04:35.690
what you wanted to do with that degree after

01:04:35.690 --> 01:04:40.110
that? I'm still not. No, absolutely not. So I

01:04:40.110 --> 01:04:45.349
knew that I wanted to, like, what did I know

01:04:45.349 --> 01:04:47.670
when? I'm trying to remember. So I came into

01:04:47.670 --> 01:04:52.269
school, I think my freshman and maybe my sophomore

01:04:52.269 --> 01:04:55.670
year, definitely once I majored in politics,

01:04:55.750 --> 01:04:58.050
I knew I didn't want to have anything to do with

01:04:58.050 --> 01:05:03.789
finance or economics. So not as a career anyway.

01:05:06.170 --> 01:05:09.969
And I also knew that I didn't want to be, like,

01:05:09.989 --> 01:05:12.329
I didn't want to continue higher education and

01:05:12.329 --> 01:05:14.170
want, like, to get my doctorate or be a professor

01:05:14.170 --> 01:05:15.989
or anything like that. I knew that I wanted to

01:05:15.989 --> 01:05:18.449
keep fencing, but that was kind of the easy part.

01:05:18.530 --> 01:05:20.750
But I didn't really know what kind of career

01:05:20.750 --> 01:05:24.989
I wanted. So once I graduated, I kind of, like,

01:05:25.050 --> 01:05:27.429
for a year, I, like, taught fencing classes.

01:05:29.519 --> 01:05:33.519
um again my parents uh and then the next year

01:05:33.519 --> 01:05:35.079
my mom was kind of like you need to figure out

01:05:35.079 --> 01:05:40.719
what um we're happy to support you but you you

01:05:40.719 --> 01:05:42.219
need to figure out your plan so they gave me

01:05:42.219 --> 01:05:46.260
like a year kind of like you know just um post

01:05:46.260 --> 01:05:49.300
post grad uh figuring out and then actually that

01:05:49.300 --> 01:05:53.179
next year I applied to grad school at Columbia

01:05:53.179 --> 01:05:56.920
Teachers College so I'm I got a master's there

01:05:56.920 --> 01:06:02.309
but This was all for my plan of basically for

01:06:02.309 --> 01:06:06.349
fencing. So at the same time as I was, again,

01:06:06.409 --> 01:06:10.409
fulfilling my academic obligations, I guess you

01:06:10.409 --> 01:06:12.789
can say, for that baseline again, I was also

01:06:12.789 --> 01:06:16.710
trying to set myself up so that I could do what

01:06:16.710 --> 01:06:19.710
I wanted to do for fencing. So I went and I got

01:06:19.710 --> 01:06:27.510
that degree from Teachers College in... So that

01:06:27.510 --> 01:06:29.710
I could teach non -native speakers English. So

01:06:29.710 --> 01:06:33.030
when I, my plan was, and what I did was I moved

01:06:33.030 --> 01:06:36.730
to Europe after I got that degree. So like, I

01:06:36.730 --> 01:06:40.949
guess it was two years after I graduated, I moved

01:06:40.949 --> 01:06:43.730
to Europe. And then with that degree, it was

01:06:43.730 --> 01:06:47.750
really easy to find like part -time employment.

01:06:48.309 --> 01:06:52.230
So I was able to easily, easily find part -time

01:06:52.230 --> 01:06:56.980
employment that helped me to fund the like, training

01:06:56.980 --> 01:06:58.539
that I had to do for fencing because fencing

01:06:58.539 --> 01:07:03.500
is not well now maybe you can do pretty well

01:07:03.500 --> 01:07:05.940
with endorsement sometimes but then like you

01:07:05.940 --> 01:07:07.320
were pretty much funding everything yourself

01:07:07.320 --> 01:07:15.400
so um I moved to Paris and um found a club and

01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:22.039
a coach and um I actually lived with another

01:07:22.039 --> 01:07:25.760
fencer for a while who was there like doing her

01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:31.539
exchange program for a year or two and I used

01:07:31.539 --> 01:07:36.099
that degree that I got to to to work part -time

01:07:36.099 --> 01:07:39.559
and then fund my fencing training and competitions

01:07:39.559 --> 01:07:43.920
but yeah again it was it was kind of like figuring

01:07:43.920 --> 01:07:48.699
out a way to have continue my education so I

01:07:48.699 --> 01:07:50.719
would have a degree so I could think about what

01:07:50.719 --> 01:07:52.320
I would do, you know, it would be helpful for

01:07:52.320 --> 01:07:57.400
later and also using that as a way to, um, to

01:07:57.400 --> 01:07:59.940
help me continue, um, to help me continue with

01:07:59.940 --> 01:08:03.619
fencing. This is so interesting. So can you tell

01:08:03.619 --> 01:08:06.539
us more about your fencing experience when you

01:08:06.539 --> 01:08:09.280
joined Princeton? In high school, I was on the

01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:12.119
high school team and I had a club. And then in

01:08:12.119 --> 01:08:18.399
the U S when you go to university, um, For certain

01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:21.300
sports, many sports, they have really strong

01:08:21.300 --> 01:08:24.800
university teams, so you are not really obliged

01:08:24.800 --> 01:08:27.560
to do a lot of practicing in the club. You do

01:08:27.560 --> 01:08:31.319
your practicing with your team. In some universities,

01:08:31.399 --> 01:08:33.500
it works a bit different. They have more of a

01:08:33.500 --> 01:08:35.920
club system, like if you're in New York or in

01:08:35.920 --> 01:08:37.819
other places where there are a lot of people

01:08:37.819 --> 01:08:40.659
and a lot of universities. But at Princeton,

01:08:40.760 --> 01:08:44.939
it's not very, very close to a big city. You

01:08:44.939 --> 01:08:47.340
are, in essence, just practicing with the people

01:08:47.340 --> 01:08:50.619
who are there. I was really, really lucky with

01:08:50.619 --> 01:08:52.439
the people who I came in with that year. They

01:08:52.439 --> 01:08:57.939
were all amazing fencers. They were on the national

01:08:57.939 --> 01:09:04.279
team or they were very highly ranked fencers

01:09:04.279 --> 01:09:09.020
nationally. And at that point, I wasn't really.

01:09:10.589 --> 01:09:13.029
there but i had access to just like people who

01:09:13.029 --> 01:09:15.609
were so much better than me um and they're the

01:09:15.609 --> 01:09:17.949
reason why i was able to excel because i was

01:09:17.949 --> 01:09:19.649
just practicing with them every day and i didn't

01:09:19.649 --> 01:09:23.670
have the ability or i didn't have the um the

01:09:23.670 --> 01:09:27.189
privilege of doing that that previously um so

01:09:27.189 --> 01:09:30.949
i practiced on the the varsity team there at

01:09:30.949 --> 01:09:37.029
princeton and my coach there was is amazing amazing

01:09:37.029 --> 01:09:42.689
coach and um i just kind of, he kind of put me

01:09:42.689 --> 01:09:48.630
on this, this program where I feel like I did

01:09:48.630 --> 01:09:51.149
the fencing that we did, um, with the team, but

01:09:51.149 --> 01:09:54.590
then I also did like extra stuff. So I would

01:09:54.590 --> 01:09:57.869
do like extra things in the morning, extra workouts.

01:09:57.949 --> 01:10:03.510
I just kind of like fell into, um, his, his kind

01:10:03.510 --> 01:10:06.590
of, um, program. I should probably preface this

01:10:06.590 --> 01:10:13.529
with, he was an ex, uh, like, military. So he

01:10:13.529 --> 01:10:17.609
was very methodical in the way that he did training,

01:10:17.750 --> 01:10:22.170
which I think was really helpful for me. It's

01:10:22.170 --> 01:10:24.270
just easier for me when training is like that.

01:10:24.449 --> 01:10:29.569
So yeah, we were really, like, he was a really

01:10:29.569 --> 01:10:34.670
great coach and inspiration for many reasons,

01:10:34.729 --> 01:10:38.569
not just for the, like, sports part but he was

01:10:38.569 --> 01:10:41.750
also very into like sports psychology and like

01:10:41.750 --> 01:10:45.369
applying um sports things you learn in sports

01:10:45.369 --> 01:10:47.829
to like things you learn later in life and now

01:10:47.829 --> 01:10:50.970
that i'm working i immediately see the connections

01:10:50.970 --> 01:10:53.189
of the things that he would talk about like in

01:10:53.189 --> 01:10:55.170
the corporate world as well like it's very very

01:10:55.170 --> 01:11:02.210
similar in terms of um philosophy and like psychology

01:11:02.210 --> 01:11:05.270
of sport and in business world there there are

01:11:05.270 --> 01:11:08.720
a lot of um a lot of similarities in the in the

01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:13.560
two but in any case um i continued to fence on

01:11:13.560 --> 01:11:15.119
the team there but at the same time i would go

01:11:15.119 --> 01:11:19.720
to national competitions because the other fencers

01:11:19.720 --> 01:11:22.319
on the team were at that level we would like

01:11:22.319 --> 01:11:24.500
travel together to the competitions which made

01:11:24.500 --> 01:11:28.699
it a lot easier as well um and we did that like

01:11:28.699 --> 01:11:31.119
um you know the four years that we were there

01:11:31.119 --> 01:11:36.229
um And then after that, when I graduated, I kind

01:11:36.229 --> 01:11:37.689
of just like continued to do the competitions

01:11:37.689 --> 01:11:40.510
and with the same, like, you know, well, there

01:11:40.510 --> 01:11:42.550
were a couple less people who decided to stop,

01:11:42.550 --> 01:11:45.890
but with the same group of girls, we continued

01:11:45.890 --> 01:11:53.189
to do the national circuit as well. After school

01:11:53.189 --> 01:11:58.229
and through into our 20s. Sports psychology is

01:11:58.229 --> 01:12:00.369
something that is so fascinating and that we

01:12:00.369 --> 01:12:03.560
should all learn from. So are they? two or three

01:12:03.560 --> 01:12:06.659
things that you can share with us now from what

01:12:06.659 --> 01:12:09.819
you've loved in the past and which you're still

01:12:09.819 --> 01:12:14.159
using to this day? Yeah, sure. So I would say

01:12:14.159 --> 01:12:22.340
the, actually it's something that you said. You

01:12:22.340 --> 01:12:24.779
mentioned earlier that no one's going to come

01:12:24.779 --> 01:12:27.619
and knock on your door and say like, you're the

01:12:27.619 --> 01:12:30.100
one I'm going to support you. And I think that

01:12:30.100 --> 01:12:37.659
that is something. that my my coach um michelle

01:12:37.659 --> 01:12:42.640
sebastiani he made clear as well too like you

01:12:42.640 --> 01:12:47.640
have to do something first yourself like no one's

01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:50.500
going to no one's going to let you hit them in

01:12:50.500 --> 01:12:52.460
fencing it's not just like they're going to stand

01:12:52.460 --> 01:12:55.439
there and just let you hit them you have to make

01:12:55.439 --> 01:12:58.819
it happen you have to be the one that creates

01:12:58.819 --> 01:13:02.170
the situation so that it can be to your advantage

01:13:02.170 --> 01:13:07.930
no one is going to willingly create the situation

01:13:07.930 --> 01:13:11.189
in the best way um that it should be created

01:13:11.189 --> 01:13:13.250
other than you like you're the only one who can

01:13:13.250 --> 01:13:15.449
who can do that of course you have people who

01:13:15.449 --> 01:13:17.149
will help and people who want the best for you

01:13:17.149 --> 01:13:19.670
and all that but but you're the one who has to

01:13:19.670 --> 01:13:23.170
has to want it and has to do it so i i think

01:13:23.170 --> 01:13:25.069
that's one of the the first and most important

01:13:25.069 --> 01:13:29.340
things that he that he taught me um I would say

01:13:29.340 --> 01:13:36.159
the second one is that you can be thoughtful

01:13:36.159 --> 01:13:40.859
and empathetic and polite and nice and have friends,

01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:45.640
but not when you're fancy. Not when you're actually

01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:49.520
in front of another person. So you should and

01:13:49.520 --> 01:13:54.039
can be all of those things because that is how

01:13:54.039 --> 01:13:57.640
humans should try to behave. But you have to...

01:13:59.050 --> 01:14:03.630
figure out a way to, when you're in this combat

01:14:03.630 --> 01:14:06.609
situation, separate that from those other things.

01:14:07.010 --> 01:14:12.729
And I think that when you're working in the corporate

01:14:12.729 --> 01:14:15.930
world, like it's very similar, you should be,

01:14:15.989 --> 01:14:18.109
especially if you have a team, empathetic and

01:14:18.109 --> 01:14:20.409
you should take other people's thoughts into

01:14:20.409 --> 01:14:24.029
consideration and you should work as a team and

01:14:24.029 --> 01:14:28.920
you should generally be a nice considerate caring

01:14:28.920 --> 01:14:32.779
person but there are points in time when you

01:14:32.779 --> 01:14:36.760
have to separate all that from other things because

01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:40.359
there is a particular goal that needs to be accomplished

01:14:40.359 --> 01:14:43.159
so i think that that's the second thing that's

01:14:43.159 --> 01:14:48.060
important that he taught me um and i would say

01:14:48.060 --> 01:14:54.930
the third thing is is about hard work being the

01:14:54.930 --> 01:14:59.409
most important thing but maybe not being the

01:14:59.409 --> 01:15:02.529
only thing that is responsible for success so

01:15:02.529 --> 01:15:05.210
you obviously have to work really hard you need

01:15:05.210 --> 01:15:08.210
to do you need to put in the work so in sports

01:15:08.210 --> 01:15:11.689
it's you need to like even though you're a fencer

01:15:11.689 --> 01:15:13.649
like you need to go to the gym you need to do

01:15:13.649 --> 01:15:18.050
your track work you need to um you need to like

01:15:18.050 --> 01:15:21.489
do your which is where you practice moving back

01:15:21.489 --> 01:15:23.170
and forth, but without actually fencing, you

01:15:23.170 --> 01:15:25.369
need to do your belts with other people. You

01:15:25.369 --> 01:15:29.470
need to do a ton of different things. And they

01:15:29.470 --> 01:15:31.289
might not be fun. You might not like it. And

01:15:31.289 --> 01:15:33.270
there will be things that are not fun that you

01:15:33.270 --> 01:15:34.869
don't like, but you have to do them anyway because

01:15:34.869 --> 01:15:42.869
you have a goal. But you also need to, there's

01:15:42.869 --> 01:15:52.220
a layer of like, how do I say? In fencing, it

01:15:52.220 --> 01:15:54.279
would be there's a layer of making sure you're

01:15:54.279 --> 01:15:57.300
in the right place so that it happens that you

01:15:57.300 --> 01:15:59.260
need to create. So you need to make sure that

01:15:59.260 --> 01:16:01.220
you're going to the right competitions. You need

01:16:01.220 --> 01:16:04.579
to make sure that you're training in the right

01:16:04.579 --> 01:16:09.279
facilities. You need to make sure that you maybe

01:16:09.279 --> 01:16:11.220
choose the right roommate. If you're staying

01:16:11.220 --> 01:16:14.220
someplace, you need to create the context so

01:16:14.220 --> 01:16:18.100
that it is most advantageous for you. And then

01:16:18.100 --> 01:16:21.359
in the business world, I would say you need to

01:16:21.359 --> 01:16:23.800
do exactly the same thing. You need to make sure

01:16:23.800 --> 01:16:25.420
that you have the right mentors. You need to

01:16:25.420 --> 01:16:28.260
make sure that if you're constructing a team,

01:16:28.300 --> 01:16:31.079
that you do it in the right way. You need to

01:16:31.079 --> 01:16:33.500
also make sure that you're networking and that

01:16:33.500 --> 01:16:37.399
you know a fair amount of people so that if you

01:16:37.399 --> 01:16:39.220
need something, you can call them. There's ways

01:16:39.220 --> 01:16:43.390
of constructing your... what we can say again,

01:16:43.430 --> 01:16:45.630
ecosystem, but also just like your surroundings

01:16:45.630 --> 01:16:49.630
so that you can carve the path in a way that

01:16:49.630 --> 01:16:52.869
actually works for you. So those are, I would

01:16:52.869 --> 01:16:55.189
say the three things that I learned from him.

01:16:56.449 --> 01:17:00.869
Thank you, Maya. And how did you, how did you

01:17:00.869 --> 01:17:03.789
make it through those moments where you had to

01:17:03.789 --> 01:17:06.670
show up, but you didn't want to, how did you

01:17:06.670 --> 01:17:13.640
build the discipline to still show up? I think

01:17:13.640 --> 01:17:17.760
I'm going to tell a story. That's okay. So because

01:17:17.760 --> 01:17:21.460
actually this is the tail end of the fencing

01:17:21.460 --> 01:17:23.159
stuff that we didn't talk about, but I think

01:17:23.159 --> 01:17:27.720
this is perfect for what you're asking. So when

01:17:27.720 --> 01:17:39.779
I was training to try and make the 2008 Olympic

01:17:39.779 --> 01:17:44.699
team, I was at a very last competition and I

01:17:44.699 --> 01:17:49.760
needed to come in the top 16 of this competition

01:17:49.760 --> 01:17:58.100
in order to have a shot at making the team. And

01:17:58.100 --> 01:18:06.000
it was the very last touch of this bout. I remember

01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:10.819
I was fencing a Hungarian woman. We were in Greece.

01:18:11.039 --> 01:18:17.100
I remember this too. And there were like five

01:18:17.100 --> 01:18:19.880
seconds left. So usually when there's five seconds

01:18:19.880 --> 01:18:21.300
left, there's usually like one person running

01:18:21.300 --> 01:18:25.699
after the other person to try and hit them. And

01:18:25.699 --> 01:18:30.020
I was ahead and she was behind. So if the time

01:18:30.020 --> 01:18:32.199
ran out, that means that I would win and I would

01:18:32.199 --> 01:18:36.439
be in 16. And it was actually based off of two,

01:18:36.500 --> 01:18:39.529
I think, whether or not this other. person would

01:18:39.529 --> 01:18:43.529
have made a result but like if like she hadn't

01:18:43.529 --> 01:18:45.989
at that point so if i'd been in the 16 then i

01:18:45.989 --> 01:18:48.029
would have been good in terms of number of points

01:18:48.029 --> 01:18:53.869
but the the woman came came at me and like i

01:18:53.869 --> 01:19:03.170
blocked her so she didn't hit me um and um then

01:19:03.170 --> 01:19:08.880
like i i twisted my knee so i fall down and um

01:19:08.880 --> 01:19:12.520
i didn't like really know what had happened like

01:19:12.520 --> 01:19:16.640
why like like how serious it was so it was um

01:19:16.640 --> 01:19:20.960
after that like she i blocked her and then she

01:19:20.960 --> 01:19:23.279
didn't get the point so i was still up by one

01:19:23.279 --> 01:19:31.800
um and then um there was another touch that happened

01:19:31.800 --> 01:19:35.800
but i couldn't move so she hit me and then after

01:19:35.800 --> 01:19:40.630
that like the the um coaches came and were like

01:19:40.630 --> 01:19:43.470
you like you can't fence anymore I was like really

01:19:43.470 --> 01:19:46.289
upset I was like no I have to finish because

01:19:46.289 --> 01:19:50.670
it because um at that point too I think um I

01:19:50.670 --> 01:19:52.489
think also at that point what had happened is

01:19:52.489 --> 01:19:56.210
they had done a um they do like a coin toss and

01:19:56.210 --> 01:19:59.149
if it's a tie and you have one minute left then

01:19:59.149 --> 01:20:01.310
like if you have priority which I had then you

01:20:01.310 --> 01:20:03.470
went about so I basically didn't I basically

01:20:03.470 --> 01:20:06.479
just had to make sure she didn't hit me or I

01:20:06.479 --> 01:20:10.340
had to hit her for one minute. And, um, they

01:20:10.340 --> 01:20:11.979
were like, no, no, no. Like you, something's

01:20:11.979 --> 01:20:14.659
wrong. Like you hurt your leg. And I was like,

01:20:14.699 --> 01:20:16.840
so full of adrenaline. I knew, like, didn't want

01:20:16.840 --> 01:20:18.699
to listen to anything. I was like, no, I'm going

01:20:18.699 --> 01:20:21.199
to finish. Like if I am, I'm not going to stop

01:20:21.199 --> 01:20:24.939
now. Um, but then they like put me on the floor

01:20:24.939 --> 01:20:27.180
and they did like, they do like this test to

01:20:27.180 --> 01:20:30.199
see whether or not you like have torn your ACL

01:20:30.199 --> 01:20:32.600
and they like did the like little they do this

01:20:32.600 --> 01:20:34.039
thing with your leg with this test and they're

01:20:34.039 --> 01:20:36.039
like oh no no like you can't stand there like

01:20:36.039 --> 01:20:38.279
you don't have a ligament left in your leg so

01:20:38.279 --> 01:20:41.359
you have to stop so she ended up winning the

01:20:41.359 --> 01:20:45.420
bout because I had to like um retire from the

01:20:45.420 --> 01:20:47.479
bout or whatever so she ended up winning I ended

01:20:47.479 --> 01:20:51.199
up not making the 16 and that was kind of like

01:20:51.199 --> 01:20:54.640
the beginning of this like two two and a half

01:20:54.640 --> 01:20:56.739
year like resilience journey that I had to go

01:20:56.739 --> 01:21:03.840
on between 2008 and 2000 basically 2010 um so

01:21:03.840 --> 01:21:08.739
I had to go back to the U .S. I got surgery like

01:21:08.739 --> 01:21:10.619
I had to take like nine months off I had to go

01:21:10.619 --> 01:21:17.140
through rehab and that actually happened I went

01:21:17.140 --> 01:21:19.779
back to fencing and then at the first competition

01:21:19.779 --> 01:21:23.689
that I was at after that I tore my other ACL

01:21:23.689 --> 01:21:28.729
um so which is very interesting because my coach

01:21:28.729 --> 01:21:31.489
was like I kind of knew that it would happen

01:21:31.489 --> 01:21:34.329
but like you can't you can't really like do anything

01:21:34.329 --> 01:21:36.729
to prevent it besides like doing your exercises

01:21:36.729 --> 01:21:41.090
but he was like it like when you at that point

01:21:41.090 --> 01:21:43.949
too like the surgery was not it's not the way

01:21:43.949 --> 01:21:45.829
it is today like you can tear your ACL today

01:21:45.829 --> 01:21:48.850
and you can be like doing high -level sports

01:21:48.850 --> 01:21:50.810
like much sooner than before before it was like

01:21:50.810 --> 01:21:54.409
really you need nine months but um i ended up

01:21:54.409 --> 01:21:55.890
trying the other one so i had to go through the

01:21:55.890 --> 01:21:57.470
whole thing again for another nine months so

01:21:57.470 --> 01:22:00.550
by that time it was 18 months um and the only

01:22:00.550 --> 01:22:04.250
thing though that was consistent for me like

01:22:04.250 --> 01:22:07.050
during the that like 18 months when i had to

01:22:07.050 --> 01:22:11.529
basically do all the rehab and like i wasn't

01:22:11.529 --> 01:22:14.210
fencing i was just like doing lessons sitting

01:22:14.210 --> 01:22:18.239
down and like on like a stationary bike and stuff

01:22:18.239 --> 01:22:23.060
like that was just that like, I will like come

01:22:23.060 --> 01:22:25.560
back stronger after this, like everything that's

01:22:25.560 --> 01:22:28.819
wrong or didn't work last time or before, like

01:22:28.819 --> 01:22:31.260
I have the time now to fix it. Like I have the

01:22:31.260 --> 01:22:34.220
time to work on like all of my mental training.

01:22:34.340 --> 01:22:36.380
I have the time to work on like my hand strength.

01:22:36.420 --> 01:22:38.199
I have the time to work on like my hand speed.

01:22:38.840 --> 01:22:41.680
Like everything that wasn't like my lower body,

01:22:41.779 --> 01:22:43.460
I was like, I would just concentrate on that.

01:22:43.479 --> 01:22:44.880
So it was like everything from my hips up, we

01:22:44.880 --> 01:22:47.180
just concentrate fully on that and just try and

01:22:47.180 --> 01:22:52.060
come back stronger than I was before. And it

01:22:52.060 --> 01:22:55.000
was just constantly like that image of like what

01:22:55.000 --> 01:22:57.319
I wanted and like I could still achieve that

01:22:57.319 --> 01:22:59.939
thing that I wanted and then just follow the

01:22:59.939 --> 01:23:02.939
plan too. And with rehab, like it's like they

01:23:02.939 --> 01:23:05.420
give you like a plan. So like I said before,

01:23:05.500 --> 01:23:08.630
I like plans. So that was helpful. Um, and I

01:23:08.630 --> 01:23:12.090
just made like a, you know, layer upon layer

01:23:12.090 --> 01:23:14.189
upon layer of this plan. So I had my rehab plan.

01:23:14.270 --> 01:23:18.010
I had my like, you know, sports, uh, psychology,

01:23:18.270 --> 01:23:21.470
um, mental training plan. I had like my, you

01:23:21.470 --> 01:23:25.670
know, plan for like my, um, for like my speed

01:23:25.670 --> 01:23:28.609
and lower body strength. And I had my plan for

01:23:28.609 --> 01:23:30.329
like upper body strength. I had everything like

01:23:30.329 --> 01:23:34.670
planned really well. So, um, yeah, I think just

01:23:34.670 --> 01:23:38.199
concentrating on, um, what it is that I wanted,

01:23:38.279 --> 01:23:41.199
having a strong plan and being really resilient

01:23:41.199 --> 01:23:43.699
in those times when it feels like everything

01:23:43.699 --> 01:23:47.300
is kind of falling apart was really helpful.

01:23:47.479 --> 01:23:49.920
And I don't know if I would have succeeded if

01:23:49.920 --> 01:23:52.600
that hadn't happened, because I don't know if

01:23:52.600 --> 01:23:55.939
I would have known how to manage the resilience.

01:23:57.260 --> 01:24:02.779
How do you come back stronger after that? I think

01:24:02.779 --> 01:24:07.579
I'm really, really stubborn too. I'm really stubborn.

01:24:07.680 --> 01:24:10.939
If I want to do something, it will get done.

01:24:11.439 --> 01:24:14.180
If I don't want to do something, it might or

01:24:14.180 --> 01:24:17.199
might not get done. But I think that stubbornness

01:24:17.199 --> 01:24:24.859
is part of it. I just didn't want to take no

01:24:24.859 --> 01:24:30.020
for an answer. It wasn't really an option. And

01:24:30.020 --> 01:24:34.039
I was going to be the one that controlled. what

01:24:34.039 --> 01:24:36.500
i tried to do or what i didn't try to do i wouldn't

01:24:36.500 --> 01:24:38.720
have full control over everything of course there's

01:24:38.720 --> 01:24:40.579
competition there's lots of other people and

01:24:40.579 --> 01:24:42.039
there's lots of other variables and things like

01:24:42.039 --> 01:24:46.680
that but i wasn't going to let um something that

01:24:46.680 --> 01:24:49.979
i viewed as happening to me be like the reason

01:24:49.979 --> 01:24:53.060
why i would stop doing something so i think that

01:24:53.060 --> 01:24:57.039
stubbornness um kind of like helped transform

01:24:57.039 --> 01:25:02.840
into resilience um and Again, it was the same

01:25:02.840 --> 01:25:04.939
kind of like, I've put in so much time and effort,

01:25:05.100 --> 01:25:07.739
like I'm not going to allow this stupid ligament

01:25:07.739 --> 01:25:11.500
thing. That's the reason why this isn't going

01:25:11.500 --> 01:25:15.039
to work the way I want it to. And I think too,

01:25:15.159 --> 01:25:19.439
my coaches, my teammates were so, so, so, my

01:25:19.439 --> 01:25:23.159
parents were so, so, so supportive. And like,

01:25:23.180 --> 01:25:24.979
they would get on my case too. I remember they'd

01:25:24.979 --> 01:25:29.039
be like, well. Like I remember one of them said

01:25:29.039 --> 01:25:32.880
when I first got back after my surgery, we were

01:25:32.880 --> 01:25:35.420
talking and she was like, all right, I'll see

01:25:35.420 --> 01:25:37.340
you at practice tomorrow. And I was like, you

01:25:37.340 --> 01:25:38.760
know, I can't do anything. She's like, yeah,

01:25:38.800 --> 01:25:43.939
but you still have to come. I guess so. She actually

01:25:43.939 --> 01:25:49.939
was a world champion, too. So like, yeah, that

01:25:49.939 --> 01:25:53.119
being around people with that mindset, super,

01:25:53.220 --> 01:25:56.399
super important. I think I'll have to go back

01:25:56.399 --> 01:26:01.199
to sports psychology. So how do you build resiliency?

01:26:01.979 --> 01:26:05.359
How did you build your own resiliency? Honestly,

01:26:05.579 --> 01:26:10.239
I had a sports psychologist that I worked with.

01:26:10.539 --> 01:26:14.659
And I think that that really, really helped a

01:26:14.659 --> 01:26:17.859
lot. I gave myself the space and the time to

01:26:17.859 --> 01:26:20.539
do it as well. So it wasn't just like something

01:26:20.539 --> 01:26:23.119
I tried to cram in. It was like it became part

01:26:23.119 --> 01:26:28.859
of routine. So when you're not sure how to do

01:26:28.859 --> 01:26:31.020
something, there are lots of people who know

01:26:31.020 --> 01:26:33.979
how to do it. So you can find them and ask them

01:26:33.979 --> 01:26:40.739
how to do it. And if you don't have the resources

01:26:40.739 --> 01:26:44.340
to pay them or to do something like that, like

01:26:44.340 --> 01:26:45.899
you'd mentioned before, there's lots of stuff

01:26:45.899 --> 01:26:49.899
online. There's lots of people who have dedicated

01:26:49.899 --> 01:26:55.609
the time to explain things. in either MOOCs or

01:26:55.609 --> 01:26:58.409
webinars or on YouTube or in other places. Of

01:26:58.409 --> 01:26:59.869
course, pick wisely because there's a lot of

01:26:59.869 --> 01:27:01.609
people out there that explain, that's explaining

01:27:01.609 --> 01:27:04.289
things but are not really explaining them in

01:27:04.289 --> 01:27:06.930
the right way. So be careful about that. But

01:27:06.930 --> 01:27:09.930
I think you'll find too that there are lots of

01:27:09.930 --> 01:27:12.710
people who you can find too that are willing

01:27:12.710 --> 01:27:15.149
to be mentors who you might not have even dared

01:27:15.149 --> 01:27:18.550
to ask, but that are very, very happy to lend

01:27:18.550 --> 01:27:23.849
their insight to you so that you can. Either

01:27:23.849 --> 01:27:26.949
figure out what it is that you need to do to

01:27:26.949 --> 01:27:29.750
reach the next step or figure out how to move

01:27:29.750 --> 01:27:34.229
through a tough time. I would absolutely insist

01:27:34.229 --> 01:27:37.489
on you looking into all the resources that are

01:27:37.489 --> 01:27:41.489
available on podcasts, on YouTube. doctors themselves,

01:27:41.750 --> 01:27:45.909
PhD candidates and leverage those to learn more

01:27:45.909 --> 01:27:48.989
about sports psychology, about psychology, about

01:27:48.989 --> 01:27:51.890
resiliency and everything that you need to learn

01:27:51.890 --> 01:27:56.649
more about to empower yourself. Maya, can you

01:27:56.649 --> 01:28:00.949
tell us everything about your 2012 Olympics experience,

01:28:01.350 --> 01:28:05.449
your journey before, during and after that? Yeah,

01:28:05.489 --> 01:28:08.930
so I did end up going to the 2012 Olympics. It

01:28:08.930 --> 01:28:15.279
was great. um i would say that the the same person

01:28:15.279 --> 01:28:18.100
who told me i had to go to practice is the one

01:28:18.100 --> 01:28:21.560
who helped me to realize that my goal was not

01:28:21.560 --> 01:28:26.180
just going but was to win a medal um and that's

01:28:26.180 --> 01:28:31.520
what i should strive for um it was it was an

01:28:31.520 --> 01:28:33.840
amazing experience like i being surrounded by

01:28:33.840 --> 01:28:38.029
like so many people who are so great at what

01:28:38.029 --> 01:28:40.710
they do. And also I would say being part of a,

01:28:40.710 --> 01:28:44.670
a big, big, large team like that and being able

01:28:44.670 --> 01:28:49.930
to, um, being able to be part of a big group

01:28:49.930 --> 01:28:53.329
of different kinds of athletes. Um, I mean, I

01:28:53.329 --> 01:28:55.130
had done that before and a couple of other kinds

01:28:55.130 --> 01:28:57.470
of competitions, but this was by far, obviously

01:28:57.470 --> 01:29:00.630
the biggest stage. So that was, that was amazing.

01:29:00.810 --> 01:29:06.050
Um, the actual event and the, the fencing too

01:29:06.050 --> 01:29:09.630
had its ups and downs. Like the first day individually,

01:29:09.789 --> 01:29:15.229
I, I, I did okay, but I didn't, I mean, I, I

01:29:15.229 --> 01:29:17.189
won one bout and then I lost the next one. So

01:29:17.189 --> 01:29:22.149
I ended up like in the top 16, which is great.

01:29:22.470 --> 01:29:27.569
And, but I remember after it was done, I was,

01:29:27.569 --> 01:29:31.670
I was like, I have, I have to keep going because

01:29:31.670 --> 01:29:35.310
I didn't do what I wanted to. And little did

01:29:35.310 --> 01:29:37.090
I know, though, that I would be able to do that

01:29:37.090 --> 01:29:39.270
in the team competition a few days later. So

01:29:39.270 --> 01:29:41.189
I was really happy that we were able to achieve

01:29:41.189 --> 01:29:42.810
that two together as a team because it wasn't

01:29:42.810 --> 01:29:49.789
easy. And the way that fencing team competition

01:29:49.789 --> 01:29:56.569
works is that if you win, like all of your bouts

01:29:56.569 --> 01:29:58.489
as a team, you basically win the gold medal.

01:30:05.229 --> 01:30:08.170
but you have to fence in order to decide who's

01:30:08.170 --> 01:30:10.329
three and who's four. So we had to fence another

01:30:10.329 --> 01:30:12.890
team, the Russian team, to decide who was three

01:30:12.890 --> 01:30:16.409
and four. And we won that bout. And we were so

01:30:16.409 --> 01:30:19.609
proud of ourselves because I think it was only

01:30:19.609 --> 01:30:22.729
the second time ever we had beaten that team.

01:30:22.810 --> 01:30:24.289
They were a really, really, really strong team.

01:30:25.529 --> 01:30:29.630
And it was interesting because I wasn't actually

01:30:29.630 --> 01:30:33.800
fencing the last bout, but we won in... A similar

01:30:33.800 --> 01:30:36.279
situation of overtime, I just realized this,

01:30:36.319 --> 01:30:39.119
a similar situation of overtime is when I lost

01:30:39.119 --> 01:30:45.520
in that last competition in 2008. And, you know,

01:30:45.560 --> 01:30:48.300
it's just like you just have to keep fighting

01:30:48.300 --> 01:30:50.520
until the end, basically, like until the last

01:30:50.520 --> 01:30:52.220
second, you just have to keep going and going.

01:30:53.039 --> 01:30:56.439
And trust that everything that you've done, all

01:30:56.439 --> 01:31:00.119
the hard work that you've put in. will will pay

01:31:00.119 --> 01:31:02.119
off and even if it doesn't like you're still

01:31:02.119 --> 01:31:03.899
there and it's still an amazing time and it's

01:31:03.899 --> 01:31:06.699
still an amazing thing that you've done um but

01:31:06.699 --> 01:31:10.640
uh yeah it's very obviously very happy with um

01:31:10.640 --> 01:31:14.180
with those games and being able to to be there

01:31:14.180 --> 01:31:17.159
particularly after the long road that it had

01:31:17.159 --> 01:31:20.920
been before and can you share with us any tricks

01:31:20.920 --> 01:31:25.539
that were suggested to you or any practices you

01:31:25.539 --> 01:31:29.350
are doing ahead of competitions or right before

01:31:29.350 --> 01:31:32.850
yeah absolutely absolutely so like they um i

01:31:32.850 --> 01:31:36.970
had like a book that i wrote like affirmations

01:31:36.970 --> 01:31:40.470
in so i had three specific affirmations that

01:31:40.470 --> 01:31:43.470
i had developed with the sports psychologist

01:31:43.470 --> 01:31:46.729
prior to the olympics and that i didn't like

01:31:46.729 --> 01:31:49.310
just go into their olympics and like recite those

01:31:49.310 --> 01:31:51.409
three like They were three that had been deciding

01:31:51.409 --> 01:31:53.789
for like six months before. So it was, you know,

01:31:53.789 --> 01:31:56.529
six or even nine months before. Sometimes I would

01:31:56.529 --> 01:31:58.449
change them slightly, like depending on what

01:31:58.449 --> 01:31:59.970
was going on. But there were like three basic,

01:32:00.010 --> 01:32:01.890
very basic things that it was just over and over

01:32:01.890 --> 01:32:06.149
again. So there was that. And then I had a really,

01:32:06.210 --> 01:32:09.170
really specific routine also, like before and

01:32:09.170 --> 01:32:11.050
after competitions. And I would just like always

01:32:11.050 --> 01:32:14.850
do like the same thing. So like always get a

01:32:14.850 --> 01:32:17.189
certain amount of sleep, like always arrive at

01:32:17.189 --> 01:32:19.880
like a certain. amount of time before always

01:32:19.880 --> 01:32:22.500
know who i was going to warm up with always know

01:32:22.500 --> 01:32:26.899
like which like weapons i was going to use like

01:32:26.899 --> 01:32:31.000
always like there were like very very specific

01:32:31.000 --> 01:32:34.500
things because that gives you also a level of

01:32:34.500 --> 01:32:37.020
comfort and also things that you just don't have

01:32:37.020 --> 01:32:38.739
to think about like you know that they're going

01:32:38.739 --> 01:32:40.239
to be there and that's going to happen so it's

01:32:40.239 --> 01:32:42.500
fine and then of course you always have a backup

01:32:42.500 --> 01:32:45.180
plan if something goes wrong but you're like

01:32:45.180 --> 01:32:47.949
very precise how you do things leading up to

01:32:47.949 --> 01:32:54.930
it um and i had like also like um i remember

01:32:54.930 --> 01:32:56.850
there was one trick i would do if i was feeling

01:32:56.850 --> 01:33:00.350
like too nervous because sometimes i would feel

01:33:00.350 --> 01:33:02.609
like not nervous enough to so there were like

01:33:02.609 --> 01:33:05.050
physical things i would do to like get my heart

01:33:05.050 --> 01:33:07.789
rate up but when i was feeling too nervous i

01:33:07.789 --> 01:33:09.289
need to calm down because you have to figure

01:33:09.289 --> 01:33:11.670
out what it is that you need to do too because

01:33:11.670 --> 01:33:13.390
it's not always the same feeling that you have

01:33:13.390 --> 01:33:17.100
that you have to regulate Like I would, as I

01:33:17.100 --> 01:33:19.859
was getting dressed, like every time I put on

01:33:19.859 --> 01:33:21.840
a piece of clothing, I would say a certain thing.

01:33:22.420 --> 01:33:28.539
And it was either like, I can't remember exactly

01:33:28.539 --> 01:33:31.800
what it was, but it was something about like

01:33:31.800 --> 01:33:35.380
being calm. So every time I put that one thing

01:33:35.380 --> 01:33:37.340
on, I would recite that thing over and over again.

01:33:37.720 --> 01:33:40.779
So yeah, those were a couple of the things that

01:33:40.779 --> 01:33:44.500
I learned from them. so you mentioned affirmations

01:33:44.500 --> 01:33:48.020
so what else were you doing where you were about

01:33:48.020 --> 01:33:52.619
to compete you were facing your team what were

01:33:52.619 --> 01:33:55.380
your thoughts how were you employing yourself

01:33:55.380 --> 01:33:59.439
um yeah yeah so like those affirmations that

01:33:59.439 --> 01:34:02.399
i talked about too i would say during the matches

01:34:02.399 --> 01:34:06.199
but based on specific feelings i would have um

01:34:06.199 --> 01:34:11.869
and then there were other ones too like um like

01:34:11.869 --> 01:34:14.130
if there was a specific situation and a match

01:34:14.130 --> 01:34:17.869
and I had to catch up, like if I had to get more

01:34:17.869 --> 01:34:21.050
than three in order to not think about getting

01:34:21.050 --> 01:34:23.909
three and only focus on getting one, I would

01:34:23.909 --> 01:34:28.289
say things like, like this touch this moment,

01:34:28.369 --> 01:34:30.289
for example. And then like, cause you can't,

01:34:30.289 --> 01:34:33.750
you can't try and think about getting three when

01:34:33.750 --> 01:34:36.460
you. when you're having problems even getting

01:34:36.460 --> 01:34:38.720
one so it's just like one at a time so I would

01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:40.779
say that like each time I needed to get to one

01:34:40.779 --> 01:34:43.600
more and then if I had more than the other person

01:34:43.600 --> 01:34:47.779
then I also had to remember that I couldn't relax

01:34:47.779 --> 01:34:51.199
because I needed to still try to get to the number

01:34:51.199 --> 01:34:53.560
I needed to get to so I would have another line

01:34:53.560 --> 01:34:56.939
or after like another like sentence I would say

01:34:56.939 --> 01:35:01.239
in order to make sure that um I was I was still

01:35:01.239 --> 01:35:04.500
concentrating on like getting the touches and

01:35:04.500 --> 01:35:09.359
there was a moment I remember too like um sometimes

01:35:09.359 --> 01:35:14.199
when I would get nervous and I um I would like

01:35:14.199 --> 01:35:18.300
not move I would like stand still so I remember

01:35:18.300 --> 01:35:23.439
the same friend that was that told that told

01:35:23.439 --> 01:35:25.939
me I should go to practice and change my goal

01:35:25.939 --> 01:35:30.359
like she was sitting there and she I heard her

01:35:30.359 --> 01:35:33.960
scream like uh sit down on your legs because

01:35:33.960 --> 01:35:36.140
I was standing up because I was nervous and I

01:35:36.140 --> 01:35:39.359
wasn't ready. And I heard her voice. I was like,

01:35:39.479 --> 01:35:42.560
okay, yeah, I have to do that. And so I did that

01:35:42.560 --> 01:35:44.920
thing. And that gave me the energy that I needed.

01:35:45.039 --> 01:35:48.199
So even when you're back to being around people,

01:35:48.279 --> 01:35:50.239
when you're around those right people all the

01:35:50.239 --> 01:35:54.000
time, they even know what they have to say to

01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:57.039
you in that moment. And that moment that she

01:35:57.039 --> 01:36:00.239
said that was the most important. moment of like

01:36:00.239 --> 01:36:02.159
the whole thing and she knew exactly what to

01:36:02.159 --> 01:36:04.520
say and she said it okay now I don't have to

01:36:04.520 --> 01:36:06.819
do and then you know so it's it's it goes back

01:36:06.819 --> 01:36:10.460
to it's not just you it's like your entourage

01:36:10.460 --> 01:36:12.600
it's your team like it's it's it's everything

01:36:12.600 --> 01:36:16.060
you know so my last call to action either you

01:36:16.060 --> 01:36:19.899
are a young person trying to figure things out

01:36:19.899 --> 01:36:23.140
or if you're older and you're trying to identify

01:36:23.140 --> 01:36:26.579
how you can support someone you know best so

01:36:27.119 --> 01:36:29.920
So don't forget to express your support. It's

01:36:29.920 --> 01:36:35.800
always incredibly appreciated. Maya, now you're

01:36:35.800 --> 01:36:40.260
still living in Paris. I'm still in Paris. I'm

01:36:40.260 --> 01:36:44.460
working in FinTech. I'm a product marketing director.

01:36:45.699 --> 01:36:49.640
And it's a really interesting industry. There's

01:36:49.640 --> 01:36:53.949
lots going on, lots to do. Has nothing to do

01:36:53.949 --> 01:36:55.529
with fencing, but everything to do with fencing

01:36:55.529 --> 01:36:59.449
and sports at the same time. I really enjoy it.

01:36:59.470 --> 01:37:02.090
I really like it. I have a fabulous team and

01:37:02.090 --> 01:37:07.569
the company is great as well. And it's a good

01:37:07.569 --> 01:37:09.649
fit. I stayed in Europe, didn't go back to the

01:37:09.649 --> 01:37:13.630
US, still here. And yeah, I would have to say

01:37:13.630 --> 01:37:16.050
everything that like kind of brought me to this

01:37:16.050 --> 01:37:18.329
place in this moment, like has to do with all

01:37:18.329 --> 01:37:21.130
of that, that we talked about prior, you know,

01:37:21.130 --> 01:37:25.550
like. Having a plan, having the right people

01:37:25.550 --> 01:37:29.250
and ecosystem around you, knowing when too much

01:37:29.250 --> 01:37:34.229
is too much and enough is not enough. Setting

01:37:34.229 --> 01:37:37.390
yourself up for success and remembering that

01:37:37.390 --> 01:37:40.590
even if things are not going as you'd like in

01:37:40.590 --> 01:37:42.810
the moment, that you can turn things around.

01:37:45.069 --> 01:37:48.770
And yeah, you're the one who decides what your

01:37:48.770 --> 01:37:52.380
goals are and what... your objectives should

01:37:52.380 --> 01:37:55.859
be with the help of some knowing and wise people

01:37:55.859 --> 01:38:02.340
as well well I was about to ask you last tips

01:38:02.340 --> 01:38:05.899
last pieces of advice you have for people listening

01:38:05.899 --> 01:38:08.020
to us thank you Maya for everything you shared

01:38:08.020 --> 01:38:10.960
with us today no problem I appreciate it thank

01:38:10.960 --> 01:38:13.260
you for having me I'm really excited to listen

01:38:13.260 --> 01:38:15.319
to more of your episodes and hear from some of

01:38:15.319 --> 01:38:20.680
the other guests that you have so Thank you for

01:38:20.680 --> 01:38:22.720
joining us today. Don't forget to subscribe.

01:38:22.819 --> 01:38:25.739
Don't forget to share five stars to the podcast

01:38:25.739 --> 01:38:28.699
wherever you're listening to it. Hope you have

01:38:28.699 --> 01:38:31.979
a lovely week and I'll see you next Sunday. Bye.