[Bright staccato synth music.]

[ADAM] 
Hello, my name is Adam Grant Warren. I'm a playwright, an actor, and the Co-Artistic Director of Realwheels Theatre.

[NATASHA] 
And I'm Natasha Nadir. I'm a director, a dramaturg, and a playwright.

[ADAM] 
For those of you who are new to Realwheels, we're a disability-led company based in Vancouver, Canada.

Our work in theater and performance creation explores the fullness and complexity of disability experience, identity, and community.

[NATASHA] 
It's been our absolute pleasure to spend the last 10 weeks from September to December of 2024 with an incredible group of 10 emerging playwrights who identify with disability. 

Each week, we dug into ideas of character, story structure, and even creative process to bring excerpts of some really exciting plays in-progress from the minds of these writers to your ears.

[ADAM] 
Our Playwriting Circles have been around for a while, but this year we thought we'd tried something new.

For the first time in our history, we're sharing this work in podcast form, featuring original music and sound designed by the award-winning duo, Finka Wood.

[NATASHA] 
With one excerpt per episode, you'll also hear the playwrights in conversation with us.

We'll talk a little bit about what drew them to write their play and why the work feels important to them.

[NATASHA] 
Without further ado,

[ADAM] 
Welcome to Waveforms.

[Music fades out.]

[NATASHA] 
This week, we are here in Vancouver with Sarah Shepard to chat about her play, un/REAL.

So you've set up a very specific world. Can you tell us a little bit about that to help us understand the excerpt?

[SARAH] 
Yeah, un/REAL is a sci-fi psychological horror in which the main character, Cesare, is taking part in an experimental medical treatment for their degenerative muscular disorder. In this treatment, they are put in a medically induced coma, which will, in theory, allow their doctors to try more extreme methods of treatment.

While in the coma, Cesare is put in a virtual reality simulation, attempting to replicate their... quote-unquote ideal life. 

The one flaw in the simulation is Cesare's own reflection. They are instructed that if they ever see their appearance in reflection look off, they should wait until it settles to look away. Otherwise, they risk breaking the simulation.

Due to the subtle changes in their appearance made in the simulation, they start to have a hard time distinguishing what could be a glitch, what could simply be the simulation working as intended, and what is their own real appearance that now looks wrong.

At the top of the scene, Cesare believes they have woken up and the treatments have been working. And Cesare and Maren, the other character in the scene, have an intensely close relationship, having been raised together from about 10 years old when Cesare's father died in a car crash.

Prior to the scene, Cesare has confessed romantic feelings to Maren, which she reciprocated and they have begun a relationship.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Cesare's home. Cesare and Maren sit together, comfortably occupying each other's space. Cesare is reading something from a notebook while Maren is watching them read.

[CESARE] 
Maren, this is really good.

[MAREN] 
You think so?

[CESARE] 
No, it's terrible. Of course, it's brilliant. You wrote it. Please tell me you submitted it to that fancy magazine.

[MAREN] 
Better than that.

[CESARE] 
Wait, they didn't—

[MAREN] 
Hold on, I'll go get my laptop.

[Footsteps receding.]

[CESARE] 
I'm so proud of you. You know you're the coolest, right? Like, ever? I'm going to start bragging about you for social clout. "That amazing essay in the literary magazine? My girlfriend wrote it." "Famous, talented writer Maren Olson? Yeah, I'm with her."

We should go out and celebrate tonight. We didn't go out after I got out of the hospital so we should celebrate both things tonight.

Hold on, I'll look up what's close by.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Cesare pulls out their phone, but before they turn it on, they catch their reflection on the dark screen.

[CESARE] 
What the—?

[NATASHA] 
What was the inspiration for this play? Or what kind of got you writing about this subject?

[SARAH] 
There's a lot of points of inspiration for this play, but the thing that gave me that generative spark to start writing it was actually a Spider-Man movie. It's the one where Jake Gyllenhaal is the villain, and he has this power where he can influence what a person is seeing or how they're perceiving reality. And there's this sequence where Peter is seeing all these weird things, and then he wakes up and he like breaks out of Jake Gyllenhaal's control, and then he keeps seeing weird things and he realizes he's still under his influence.

And I was watching that, I was thinking, like, how would you ever trust that you're in real life again?

And then I also have very complicated feelings about medically assisted suicide being legalized in Canada. It was legalized in 2016, so I was 14 when that happened. And, you know, since then I've learned about it more and, like, my feelings have gotten more complicated.

And then there's this literary art thing called "mise en abyme", very similar to, like, "mise en scene", but it literally means "put into abyss". And it's about dreams inside dreams and images inside images and when you put two mirrors up against each other, the images reflect forever. And they get more and more distorted as they go back.

So all those things kind of came together to be this play. [laughs]

[STAGE DIRECTIONS]
Maren enters, but she looks different, frazzled, like she's been burning the candle at both ends.

[MAREN] 
Cesare, oh my God.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
She lunges forward and hugs Cesare.

[CESARE] 
Hey, what's going on? Are you okay?

[MAREN] 
Sorry, I just, it's been so long.

[CESARE] 
What are you talking about?

[MAREN] 
Like, it's been a while, since I actually got to talk to you when you're, you know, awake.

[CESARE] 
Baby, I just saw you. Are you all right? What were you going to show me?

[MAREN] 
Baby? What? Oh.... you think I'm... Sorry.

I don't know what it's been like in here or what she, the other me is like, but...

[CESARE] 
What?

[MAREN] 
Cesare, it's me. I— I don't think I have much time before they catch on to what I did, so we need to go.

[CESARE] 
Wait, hold on. I... I need a second.

[MAREN] 
We don't have a second. We need to wake you up.

[CESARE] 
But I... Maren, I did wake up.

[MAREN] 
No, you didn't. You've been under for three years.

[CESARE] 
If this is a joke, it's not funny.

[MAREN] 
Listen to me. This is not a joke. You're still under. You've been under for three years.

Three birthdays. Three Halloweens. Three New Years.

[CESARE] 
But I… I woke up. I broke the VR. I woke up in the hospital. Dr. Calloway said the gene therapy was working. You were there.

[MAREN] 
Didn't it seem too good to be true? Only what, a couple months and they solve everything?

[CESARE] 
I... No, stop.

[MAREN] 
What about your reflection? Hasn't it ever been off like Calloway said?

[CESARE] 
I... I don't. There was… Your glasses.

[MAREN] 
What?

[CESARE] 
Once I saw myself in the glasses and I thought, I thought maybe I just forgot what I looked like in the real world, but why would they do that?

[MAREN] 
I don't know. Maybe you wanted to wake up so bad they made it happen in here.

[CESARE] 
That's... This is real. Please tell me it's been real.

[MAREN] 
It's not. I'm sorry.

[CESARE] 
I thought this... I thought you... She was real. And I told her, I told her I loved her and she said, oh my God, they made this happen. They, they were—

[MAREN] 
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

[CESARE] 
I'm going to be sick.

[MAREN] 
Hey, okay. Sit down. Just sit and take some deep breaths. Are you okay?

[CESARE] 
Maren, are you okay? Three years is a long time.

[MAREN] 
Yeah, it's been tough. The treatment is expensive to run.

[CESARE] 
No, Maren, how are you?

[MAREN] 
I'm fine. I'm not alone. I promise. I joined a book club.

[They both laugh.]

[CESARE] 
A book club? Maren, that's the most lonely thing you've ever said, and you hate reading.

[MAREN] 
I don't hate reading. I just don't like fiction.

[CESARE] 
I know. "Who has time to waste reading about things that never even happened?"

[MAREN] 
Turns out, I have plenty of time when you're not taking it all up.

[They both chuckle.]

[MAREN] 
No, really. The first month, I think I had so much free time I didn't even know what to do with myself.

[CESARE] 
I don't take up that much of your time, do I?

[MAREN] 
Oh, you're a tyrant.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Maren stands.

[MAREN] 
We really need to get you out of here.

[CESARE] 
Waste some of my time, why don't you? Take your revenge.

[MAREN] 
We really need to go. I don't know how long until a nurse or someone...

[CESARE]
 Why did you join the book club?

[MAREN] 
This could be our only shot. I don't want to lose it.

[CESARE] 
Maren, please just slow down for a minute. We don't know what's going to happen, and I don't want to rush off of here if I… Maren, what if I don't wake up? What if this is it?

[MAREN] 
Cesare, I—

[CESARE] 
Just talk to me. Like, nothing else is going on. Just for a minute.

[MAREN] 
I just started thinking about how they base everything in here on what you already know and how bored you would get without any new books to read. I read this article about how there's evidence people in comas can hear you talking to them. And I didn't know if you would be the same for this kind of situation, but I thought maybe if I read to you… You would hear it.

It also made me feel a little less crazy than just talking to you all the time.

All that being said, I didn't have any idea where to start to find books to read to you. So I joined the book club, and when everyone's sharing what they think of the books, I just start thinking about you and all the brilliant things you'd have to say about them. And I start crying, so everyone thinks I'm really emotionally in tune or whatever, but really I'm just a mess of a person who misses her best friend.

[CESARE] 
How much are you visiting?

[MAREN] 
Most days. Sometimes I come straight from work and then spend all day here and then go to work again.

[CESARE] 
Doesn't sound like you're living.

[MAREN] 
I'm living.

[CESARE] 
You go to work and you visit me and book club. There's got to be more.

[MAREN] 
Well, this whole treatment and the gene and whatever and surgeries are expensive and… your savings ran out pretty quick, so I've been pulling extra shifts to cover.

[CESARE] 
Extra shifts?

[MAREN] 
And selling plasma.

[CESARE] 
Why would you do that?

[MAREN] 
Why wouldn't I?

[CESARE] 
No. Tell them to wake me up. It's over.

[MAREN] 
They won't.

[CESARE] 
What?

[MAREN] 
That's why I'm here. I told them to put you out, wake you up, but they refused. They said the degradation of your muscles has been too extreme.

You wouldn't survive off the support.

[CESARE]
Is that true?

[MAREN] 
I don't know. I don't know what's true and what they're just saying. Something terrible is going on here and we need to get you out.

They said you signed— [glitch]

[CESARE] 
What?

[MAREN] 
They said you signed a— [audio glitches]

[CESARE groans in pain. Glitching sounds build.]

[MAREN] 
Damn it, we're out of time. Did you—

[Glitch.]

[CESARE] 
I can't— Maren— Agh!

[MAREN] 
A— [glitch.]

[CESARE] 
A what?

[MAREN]
D-N-R!

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Cesare looks at her, shocked.

[MAREN] 
Cesare!

[CESARE] 
I did. Just in case... I couldn't wake up.

[MAREN] 
No. I'm no— [glitch] going to kill— [glitch] —ou. I'm going— [glitch] get you back!

[CESARE] 
You might have to.

[MAREN] 
No, I can't do that. I'll fi— [glitch] way. You're all— [glitch] I have.

[CESARE] 
Listen to me.

[MAREN] 
Ces— [glitch] I— [glitch] understand— [glitch]

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Maren looks as if she's speaking, but she isn't making any sound.

[CESARE] 
I don't want to be stuck here. Make them wake me up, Maren!

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Blackout.

[Glitching stops.]

[NATASHA] 
I thought it was interesting as you were writing the idea that in the virtual world, the people in Cesare's life only have the characteristics and secrets that Cesare knows, because they're sort of coming from their imagination or understanding. Is that correct?

[SARAH] 
Yeah, I can't remember what it's called, but there's this philosophical concept that's like very much rooted in like the Matrix where you're the only real person and everyone else is like fake. It's a very like nihilistic, self-centered point of view to have. But that is literally what Cesare is experiencing in the VR where everyone around them and everything around them is sort of sprung up from their own consciousness and created to kind of serve them in a way and like serve what they're wanting from their life.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Lights fade up. Maren is gone. Cesare on the ground. They slowly come to.

[CESARE] 
Maren, are you still here? Maren. Maren! Maren!

[MAREN] 
Hold your horses! Geez, I left the room for five seconds!

[CESARE] 
Maren, thank God.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
Maren reenters carrying her laptop. She looks normal, unfazed.

[MAREN] 
You okay? You look like you saw a ghost.

[CESARE] 
Do you know what just happened?

[MAREN] 
Um, I went to go get my laptop, and you started yelling my name, and I came back.

[CESARE] 
Did you know?

[MAREN] 
Did I know what?

[CESARE] 
Did you know that this is fake? That you're not real.

[MAREN] 
Cesare… I'm real.

[CESARE] 
No, you're not. I just saw the real Maren, and she told me I've been under for three years.

[MAREN] 
Are you sure you're okay?

[CESARE] 
God, I... I can't believe I didn't notice before. It's so obvious now. Your eyes, they're all wrong.

[MAREN] My eyes? What's wrong with you? Why would you say that?

[CESARE] 
You don't have to keep pretending. I know. Just stop with the charade. Leave me alone.

[Glitch]

[MAREN] 
Oh.

[CESARE] 
Why would you do that to me? Pretend to be her. Pretend to love me. Pretend that this is real.

[MAREN] 
I thought it was. I thought I was real. I thought… I do love you.

[CESARE] 
You can't love me. Just go. Leave me alone.

[MAREN] 
I can't. You still want...

[CESARE] 
I want her. I want my real life. I want to wake up.

[MAREN] 
Cesare—

[CESARE]
Wait. Hold still.

[STAGE DIRECTIONS]
Cesare grabs Maren's shoulders and holds her still, as if looking into her eyes, but they are instead finding their reflection in her glasses.

[MAREN] 
What are you—?

[CESARE] 
Just hold still!

[STAGE DIRECTIONS] 
They look away. Blackout.

[NATASHA] 
Do you know how the play will end? Have you finished this play?

[SARAH] 
I have not finished it yet, but I went into it with a very clear idea of what I wanted the end to be, which I don't always do. But it's kind of helpful to know what I'm writing towards.

I'm thinking of having a scene that sort of references the Truman Show, uh so at the end of the Truman Show, when he goes in the boat and he sails toward that big blue wall. Cesare is going to try to do something similar, I think.

[Waves on the shore.]

[SARAH] 
We had a very important scene happen on the beach earlier in the play. So Cesare is going to return to the beach and try to do what Truman does and swim to the edge of this virtual reality. And they're going to find that there is no edge because it's, again, all based off of their own consciousness.

And I think they're going to... in the virtual reality, drown in the ocean.

[Waves fade out, bubbles.]

[SARAH] 
And maybe while they're drowning, we're going to hear a conversation or argument between Maren and Cesare's doctor, Dr. Calloway. And then Cesare is going to wake up in the hospital.

[Hospital beeping sounds]

[SARAH] 
And it's going to seem very much like real life. And I don't want to give the audience an answer whether or not Cesare has genuinely woken up or not.

[Ambiance fades out.]

[SARAH] 
I love to give people an ambiguous ending. So I think the final scene is going to be them catching their reflection in the mirror and thinking like, "Oh, that looks weird." "I don't know if this is my real reflection or not." And then not being able to look away because what if they do look away and they do wake up again? And then all this, you know, all of this like hope has been false. 

And they decide, "I'm not going to test it." "I am going to just accept whatever I'm experiencing right now is reality because I don't know how I'm going to handle it if I wake up again, and I find out that this has been fake."

[Bright staccato synth music fades in.]

[ADAM] 
Thanks for listening to Waveforms. For a full list of our cast and crew, check out the episode description.

[NATASHA] 
Waveforms was produced by Realwheels Theatre with the cooperation of the Union of BC performers.

A special thank you to our funders: the Canada Council for the Arts, the Province of British Columbia, the City of Vancouver, and the Hamber Foundation.

[ADAM] 
If you like what you heard, please drop us a rating and a review on the podcast platform of your choice. It really helps new listeners to find us.

[NATASHA] 
See you next week.

[Music fades out.]