[Waveforms Intro Theme begins to play — bright staccato synth music.] [ADAM] Hello! My name is Adam Grant Warren. I’m a playwright, an actor, and the Co-Artistic Director of Realwheels Theatre. [NATASHA] And I’m Natasha Nadir. I’m a director, a dramaturg, and a playwright. [ADAM] For those of you who are new to Realwheels, we’re a Disability-led company based in Vancouver, Canada. Our work in theatre and performance creation explores the fullness and complexity of disability experience, identity, and community. [NATASHA] It’s been our absolute pleasure to spend the last 10 weeks – from September to December of 2024 – with an incredible group of 10 emerging playwrights who identify with disability. Each week, we dug into ideas of character, story structure, and even creative process to bring excerpts of some really exciting plays-in-progress from the minds of these writers to your ears. [ADAM] Our Playwriting Circles have been around for a while, but this year we thought we’d try something new. For the first time in our history, we’re sharing this work in podcast form, featuring original music and sound design by the award-winning duo, Finka Wood. [NATASHA] With one excerpt per episode, you’ll also hear the playwrights in conversation with us. We’ll talk a little bit about what drew them to write their play and why the work feels important to them. Without further ado, [ADAM] Welcome to Waveforms. [Music ends with a flourish] [ADAM] This week, I am physically in the same room with playwright Araceli Ferrara to talk about their play, Vampire or My sister, the prophet. [ARACELI] Hi. [ADAM] Hello. [ARACELI] Thanks for having me! [ADAM] Thanks for coming in. So tell us a little bit about this first scene that we are going to hear [ARACELI] Yeah so in this scene, it's kind of a flashback between sisters Leti and Nena and it takes place when Nena is like around 12 years old, and Leti is maybe around 16 — in her late teens — and it's set around Christmas time. It’s the first scene of the play and I thought it was very important to kind of set up the sisters’ relationship at their best. [Fireplace crackles.] [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena is sitting on the floor of the living room. She wears a hot pink bathrobe, a poorly wrapped Christmas present in her hands. Leti enters quietly, at first a little surprised to see her sister awake. She sneaks up behind Nena. [LETI] Nena! [NENA] Leti! [Present drops] [LETI] What are you doing? [NENA] I couldn’t sleep– [LETI] More like you couldn’t wait– [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti slides the present over towards herself, her face falling when she reads the label. [NENA] It’s not for me. [LETI] You bought me a present? [NENA] I bought everyone a present. You, Mami, Papi– [LETI] With what money? You’re 12. [NENA] Mami gave me money. [LETI] So you didn’t buy everyone presents– Mom did– [NENA] I chose them– I wrapped them– [LETI] Yeah, I can tell. You didn’t break it, did you? [NENA] It’s not breakable! [Present slides across the floor.] [NENA] No peeking. [LETI] I didn’t buy you a present. [NENA] You didn’t have to. [LETI] That’s not fair, I didn’t know you were gonna do this– [NENA] What are you doing awake? [LETI] I’m hungry. [NENA] You should stop eating in the middle of the night. Mami thinks it’s me. [LETI] Yeah, well, that’s because you’re fat. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena frowns, standing. She grabs Leti’s Christmas present off the floor. [NENA] You know what? You don’t deserve this– [LETI] Nena! [NENA] She gets mad at me– for something you do– [LETI] Nena, wait– Please wait! What did you get me? [NENA] Apologize. [LETI] Nena– [NENA] Apologize. [LETI] I called you fat, not ugly. [NENA] You think I care about that? [LETI] I’m sorry... I let you take the blame. And that Mami yells at you, not me, it’s not fair. [NENA] I got you something you’ll actually like, for once, but... wait until Mami and Papi wake up before you open it, at least. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] She hands Leti her present. [LETI] But they won’t be up for hours. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena makes a face and Leti rolls her eyes. [LETI] Fine, fine! You hungry? [NENA] No, I’m tired. [LETI] Then go back to bed. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti goes to leave, but then she stops and looks back at Nena. [LETI] You can’t... can you? [NENA] It’s just my legs. I had one of those weird dreams again... and when I woke, I thought I’d have a fever, but I didn’t so... [LETI] Do you need Mom? [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena shakes her head, plopping down on the couch. Leti puts her present down on the coffee table. [LETI] Are your joints, like, super swollen? [NENA] No more than usual. I’ll be fine, Leti. It’s Christmas. I’m not gonna be sick on Christmas. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti nods, forcing a smile. She rearranges the pillows on the couch, tucking a couple underneath Nena’s legs. [LETI] I can sing– like Mom does– I can sing to you... if you want. [NENA] You are a terrible singer. [LETI] Dad’s a terrible singer. I’m not great, but... would it make you feel better? [NENA] It can be your gift to me. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti grins, settling on the armrest next to Nena’s head. She starts singing the Spanish song "A la nanita nana" softly to Nena. [LETI] A la nanita nana, nanita ea, nanita ea… [STAGE DIRECTIONS] As she sings she plays with Nena’s hair, braiding and unbraiding. [LETI] Mi niña tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena eventually falls asleep. [Fireplace crackles fade out.] [ADAM] So one of the things I find most compelling about this play is the tension between mental disability, the treatment of mental disability, and the treatment of physical disability, in terms of how Leti’s diagnosis and Nena’s impact the family differently. Can you talk a little bit about that and why you felt like that was— I mean it's, it's really challenging territory and so why did you want to explore that? [ARACELI] I think the basis for my inspiration to kind of really explore that topic, especially within a family dynamic is… are you familiar with the term “Glass Child”? [ADAM] No. [ARACELI] So, “Glass Child” is kind of like an informal term to describe the experience of siblings who have siblings who are sick, or experience chronic illness, or other forms of disabilities, and how they kind of get neglected within the family unit. They’re referred to as glass children because they feel see-through, that their needs are not being met because the parents' attentions are focused on the child who is sick instead of them. What’s interesting about Leti and Nena is that within their family dynamic, they both play as “Glass Children” because Nena, who was diagnosed with Lupus at a young age, was the sick child at a young age. Which means that Leti, as the older sister, her needs didn’t take priority in the family. And now that both sisters are grown up, and Leti is going through psychosis, and has bipolar disorder, Nena’s needs are being less looked after in the family, because Leti’s illness is taking the focus. [ADAM] What about this next scene? [ARACELI] Yeah, so in this scene, it is between Nena and Rahim. It takes place in a hospital cafeteria, and this is them reuniting after not seeing each other since they graduated high school. So in high school, they were best friends. Now, they’re kind of both grown up, Nena has moved away, she’s now back in town, and Rahim is her sister’s nurse in the psych ward. And so, this is them reconnecting and Nena opening up to him. [Ambiance fades in, a crowded area, people chatting.] [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena eyes her lunch silently while Rahim eats his. [NENA] You know what sucks? [RAHIM] I have a feeling you’re going to tell me. [NENA] Her delusions... they’re mine. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Rahim looks at her, confused, his mouth full. Nena frowns. [NENA] Not like that– I didn’t mean– I’m not– The whole... thinking everyone is a vampire thing. That’s mine. Not the rest– not the prophet thing– I mean, every mentally ill person suffering from psychotic delusions thinks they’re the next Jesus fucking Christ– but vampires– at least... thinking everyone else is a vampire out to suck her dry... You see, when I was a kid, I had this... nightmare. Everyone I knew– just everyone, actually– in this whole city– were vampires. And there was nowhere you could go where they wouldn’t find you. So, my sister and I go on the run. Our parents were turned, and now they’re after us. They want to turn us into vampires too. And I don’t know how, but we wind up in this bar. And everyone there is a vampire. We’re surrounded. And then... our parents find us. They turn her first. And then she... she sinks her fangs into my index finger and the whole bar watches as the bite marks instantly heal. She bites me again– my wrist– I heal. Again– my arm– I heal. Again, and again– my neck– I heal. And I don’t turn. No matter how hard she tries. No matter how hard she bites. And I can feel it– the venom– sinking in, each time, burning through my veins like a fever... but I don’t turn. I don’t turn... and then I wake up. And I tell my sister. It was a dream. It was a dream I had. And now... she thinks everyone is a vampire, and she’s the only one who can’t be turned. And I can’t even tell her... that’s me. You are me. It’s my dream. You stole my dream. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Nena stares at her food. [NENA] I’m not hungry anymore. [RAHIM] Eat. [NENA] Why? She doesn’t even want to see me. I should go home. [RAHIM] Eat first, at least. Please. [Nena sighs.] [NENA] How is she? [RAHIM] How are you? [STAGE DIRECTIONS] She sends him a look. [RAHIM] She’s fine. How are you? [NENA] I don’t know how to talk about this with other people. [RAHIM] Me neither. My family asks about work but I... I don’t know what to tell them. I don’t think it would comfort my mom to know... whenever a patient threatens to harm me. It’s just words. [NENA] It’s not all words. [RAHIM] Your sister... she’s not violent. I don’t think she would actually hurt anyone. [NENA] No, she probably wouldn’t. But the things she’s done... if she gets better... I don’t know how she’ll forgive herself. [RAHIM] And what about you? [NENA] What do you mean? [RAHIM] How do you feel? [NENA] You know what my mom calls Leti’s psychosis? The Monster. It’s not your sister speaking... it’s the Monster. It’s not your sister who hates you... it’s the Monster. And I know that helps her cope with it all... but it was my sister who was stalking her ex-girlfriend. She was the one who was calling her non-stop. And the things that she said– the voice messages her ex-girlfriend shared with my parents– my dad wouldn’t even repeat them to me. He said that I didn’t want to know. But her ex-girlfriend reached out to me for help– because I warned her that Leti was getting sick again– and she asked for my parents’ phone number because her own father was threatening to go to the police– Leti– she’s– she took a torch to her own life– and I know it’s not her fault... I know it’s not her fault but it’s so hard not to blame her. It’s so hard not to hate her. [Ambiance fades out.] [ADAM] There’s a lot of work out there, not all of the work by any means, but there’s a lot of work out there that aims at typically-bodied and neurotypical audiences to explain the lived experience of disability. To prescribe, sometimes, ways of interacting or not interacting with people who have that lived experience of disability, varied as it may be. Your work doesn’t do that. [Araceli laughs.] [ADAM] Your work doesn’t prescribe. It does offer and ask for understanding of lived experience, but it doesn’t feel super message-y. How do you do that? [ARACELI] I really didn’t want it to be message-y. I also didn’t wanna treat myself like an authority over mental illness, or psychotic episodes, or families that have to deal with family members who go through psychotic episodes… I was thinking about this a lot, this morning. How do I kind of break away from being prescriptive when it comes to the dos and don’ts of how to behave around people who are going through mental health crisis? And I think what it really kind of boils down to is the family, at the heart of it. And not only the love that they have for each other— but the real kind of like question that I’m constantly digging at is: How do you love someone through their worst moments, and not know whether or not when they come out of this, that they will love you back? It’s not really unconditional love, but it’s almost kind of like unrequited family love? Where it’s like, you have to love someone even if they hate you, and the challenges of — not only how do you love someone through their worst moments, but how do you listen to someone? And how do you fail to hear their needs? And how do you meet someone where they are instead of your expectations of where they should be? [ADAM] What about this last scene? [ARACELI] This scene is between Leti and Rahim, it takes place in the psych ward in Leti’s room, and it’s kind of really a day-to-day, “life in the psych ward” for Leti. But it also kind of shows the relationship she has with Rahim, who is her nurse, and the scene is really trying to show how Leti is now, and how she is going through a psychotic episode. And how other people outside of her family interact with her. [Ambiance fades in, hospital machines beeping. A pill bottle rattles and the cap pops open.] [LETI] I hate pills. Do you hate pills? Have you ever had to take pills, Rahim? [RAHIM] Uh, yeah, ibuprofen. Melatonin. But I get gummies now for the latter. [LETI] Lithium gummies... someone should really get on that if they haven’t already. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti tips back a couple pills into her mouth, swallowing them down with water. Once she’s finished, she sticks out her tongue towards Rahim. [LETI] Ahhh! [RAHIM] Good, can you lift your tongue for me? [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti lifts her tongue, trying to touch the tip to her nose. [RAHIM] Very good. [LETI] I live to entertain. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] She falls back against her pillows. [LETI] I’m bored. [RAHIM] I got you something for that. [Bag plops down and is unzipped.] [LETI] Is that for me? [RAHIM] I heard you like gifts. [LETI] Who told you that? My dad? My mom? Nena? I don’t want anything from her. [RAHIM] It’s not from her. It’s from me. [LETI] You’re too good for her, you know that, right? You’re like an angel. An archangel. Raphael! That's who you remind me of! "God has healed" and God heals through you– but I don't mean that like... like in a "Thank God" kind of way because– He doesn't deserve all the credit– you do– it’s you– you heal people because you care– and I hate it when people say thank God instead of doctors and nurses– because it’s not God, not really, it’s you– and I just think– I think that sometimes people are meant to do something– and that’s God, or it can be God, in a way– and when they don’t do what they’re meant to... they’re miserable, I think. Are you miserable, Rahim? [RAHIM] Uh, I don’t know. I don’t think so. [LETI] I worry I am. I worry we all are. [RAHIM] Like... the whole world? [LETI] No, not the whole world. What did she tell you? Nena? [RAHIM] Nothing bad. She just said... gift giving is one of your love languages. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti smiles, nodding. Rahim smiles in response. [Papers shuffling.] [RAHIM] I know you don’t have access to your phone or laptop while you’re in here, and that you like to write poetry, so I thought... I thought you could use some of my old school supplies? They’re kind of just collecting dust at home, to be honest. My mom made me keep them because she thought my brothers would eventually use them up, but Zayan takes notes on his laptop and Hamza doesn’t “believe in taking notes”. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] He places the notebook and tote bag down on the edge of her bed. [RAHIM] Anyways, write away. There are pencils. Pens. Highlighters, but I don’t know how helpful that is for, uh, prose? [LETI] You did this... for me? [RAHIM] Yeah. I know, uh, that I was technically assigned to you... and while you’re in here, I’m your nurse, but– you can think of me as a friend, Leti. [LETI] You’re not just saying that because of Nena, right? [RAHIM] Partly, probably. That might not be what you want to hear but– [LETI] No, you’re honest. I like that. Everyone lies. They lie to me, and I know when they’re lying, and they hate me for it– you don’t lie, do you, Rahim? [RAHIM] I try not to. [LETI] What lies have you told? You can tell me. I can absolve you. [RAHIM] Absolution can wait. I have other patients. [LETI] You’re leaving? [RAHIM] Don’t worry, I’ll be back. You want to take a walk after group therapy today? [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti nods with a smile. She looks down at her breakfast as Rahim goes to leave. Her eyes glance back at the notebook and tote bag. [LETI] Rahim? [RAHIM] Yeah? [STAGE DIRECTIONS] Leti stands and rushes to hug him. Rahim doesn’t know how to react at first, but eventually he pats her back. After a moment, Rahim checks his watch. [RAHIM] I really have to go, Leti. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] She pulls away, nodding, wiping tears from her face. [LETI] I’m good at making friends. I know I am. Everyone’s always told me so. But I... I’m not very good at keeping them. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare you. [RAHIM] I’m not scared of you, Leti. [STAGE DIRECTIONS] His pager beeps. He checks the message. Leti returns to bed, far away now. Rahim frowns, then exits. [Ambiance fades out.] [Waveforms Outro music fades in — bright staccato synth music.] [ADAM] Thanks for listening to Waveforms. For a full list of our cast and crew, check out the episode description. [NATASHA] Waveforms was produced by Realwheels Theatre with the co-operation of the Union of B.C. Performers. A special thank you to our funders: the Canada Council for the Arts, the Province of British Columbia, the City of Vancouver, and the Hamber Foundation. [ADAM] If you like what you heard, please drop us a rating and a review on the podcast platform of your choice. It really helps new listeners to find us. [NATASHA] See you next week. [Outro music fades out.]