WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:38.450 Thank you. bit scared for this series. Not going 00:00:38.450 --> 00:00:41.030 to lie, but I'm still going to come in hot. Okay. 00:00:41.310 --> 00:00:45.850 All right. Focus. For a while now, I've been 00:00:45.850 --> 00:00:48.229 wanting to do a series on masculinity. It's something 00:00:48.229 --> 00:00:50.729 that I've reflected on quite a bit, both in myself 00:00:50.729 --> 00:00:55.350 and in my relationships with other men. But it 00:00:55.350 --> 00:00:58.369 wasn't really until I started doing work on myself, 00:00:58.530 --> 00:01:00.869 until I started going to therapy for an extended 00:01:00.869 --> 00:01:03.130 period, that I think I gained some awareness 00:01:03.130 --> 00:01:10.930 of uh men or a lack thereof uh today instead 00:01:10.930 --> 00:01:14.969 what i've been seeing a lot of uh is lots and 00:01:14.969 --> 00:01:18.530 lots of bitches masquerading as men it's not 00:01:18.530 --> 00:01:21.450 a novel idea and probably nothing i say will 00:01:21.450 --> 00:01:24.170 be unique in any way so i guess this is just 00:01:24.170 --> 00:01:27.609 another voice joining a chorus um hopefully a 00:01:27.609 --> 00:01:31.379 growing chorus And for me, I wanted to start 00:01:31.379 --> 00:01:34.180 by identifying what I think really makes a man 00:01:34.180 --> 00:01:38.760 a man and not, say, a bitch. I personally find 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:41.180 all this talk about specific behavior of men, 00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:44.420 like the affinity for UFC and football or all 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:48.599 the catcalling or the not sharing feelings. Talking 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:52.079 about men's behavior, I think in the general 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:55.760 public, has not really gotten much at the heart 00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:58.359 of what I think. might be going on with men. 00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:00.799 It's not really much of a nuanced discussion, 00:02:01.060 --> 00:02:05.640 nor do I find the more abstract intellectualized 00:02:05.640 --> 00:02:08.159 discussions of masculinity that you find more 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:11.400 in academia to quite hit home for any of the 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:14.699 regular everyday people. I'll keep it simple. 00:02:15.319 --> 00:02:19.500 I think that for some reason, we, including myself 00:02:19.500 --> 00:02:22.539 here, collectively as men, are having a hard 00:02:22.539 --> 00:02:27.330 time identifying who to look up to because We're 00:02:27.330 --> 00:02:29.669 confused. We haven't drawn clear lines about 00:02:29.669 --> 00:02:33.650 who the men are and who the bitches are. There 00:02:33.650 --> 00:02:36.590 are people today looking up to people like Elon 00:02:36.590 --> 00:02:39.590 Musk, Donald Trump, Joe Rogan, and think, yeah, 00:02:39.610 --> 00:02:43.129 that's a real man, not realizing that they're 00:02:43.129 --> 00:02:46.669 all just bitches in different form. And if you 00:02:46.669 --> 00:02:49.389 look up to these bitches, then guess what? You'll 00:02:49.389 --> 00:02:55.550 become a bitch. So in this series, it's going 00:02:55.550 --> 00:02:58.250 to be my feeble attempt at setting the record 00:02:58.250 --> 00:03:02.009 straight on who I think anyways that the real 00:03:02.009 --> 00:03:06.409 men are and who the bitches are. And to provide 00:03:06.409 --> 00:03:09.650 at least what I use as some surefire ways to 00:03:09.650 --> 00:03:13.069 differentiate between them. Because once you 00:03:13.069 --> 00:03:15.110 expose these bitches as the bitches that they 00:03:15.110 --> 00:03:18.699 are, then the attraction to being anything like 00:03:18.699 --> 00:03:22.659 them or imitate them or try to, you know, attain 00:03:22.659 --> 00:03:25.039 the kind of lifestyle that they have should, 00:03:25.139 --> 00:03:28.840 I think, dissipate. And maybe that'll be the 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:32.319 start of people looking for better role models. 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:35.139 And maybe even hopefully the start of people 00:03:35.139 --> 00:03:37.060 trying to be better role models because they're 00:03:37.060 --> 00:03:40.580 trying to avoid being like these bitches. Let 00:03:40.580 --> 00:03:42.719 me be clear about a few things before I get deeper 00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:45.909 into this topic. It'll be important for me to 00:03:45.909 --> 00:03:48.789 set some foundations of what I'm attempting to 00:03:48.789 --> 00:03:51.389 do, because if you start projecting things onto 00:03:51.389 --> 00:03:53.849 me, this discussion is going to go way off the 00:03:53.849 --> 00:03:57.110 rails quickly before it even gets started. So 00:03:57.110 --> 00:03:59.909 I want to be very explicit on a few points just 00:03:59.909 --> 00:04:03.409 so that we're all on the same page. First off, 00:04:03.469 --> 00:04:05.629 everything I express in this series is just my 00:04:05.629 --> 00:04:08.710 personal views. OK, you don't have to agree with 00:04:08.710 --> 00:04:11.030 me. It's fine. I'm not looking for your agreement 00:04:11.030 --> 00:04:15.439 or your approval. My views are my own. However, 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:18.199 I don't find it helpful if you just tell me that 00:04:18.199 --> 00:04:21.939 you disagree. What matters to me is that we talk 00:04:21.939 --> 00:04:24.860 about why we disagree. Look to reasons, evidence, 00:04:25.160 --> 00:04:30.199 right? Examples to back up our views. And I want 00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:32.980 both of us anyways to be open to changing our 00:04:32.980 --> 00:04:36.060 views in light of those discussions in that exchange, 00:04:36.259 --> 00:04:40.600 right? I'm not coming in as an expert I'm not 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:42.899 coming here to tell you what's correct or true 00:04:42.899 --> 00:04:46.480 I'm just telling you what I think But you might 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:49.660 have different opinions. And if so, I want to 00:04:49.660 --> 00:04:52.819 hear why that is. And I genuinely do want to 00:04:52.819 --> 00:04:54.500 hear because I'm one of those people who are 00:04:54.500 --> 00:04:57.819 constantly changing my views in light of these 00:04:57.819 --> 00:04:59.980 types of discussions. So I'm always open to changing 00:04:59.980 --> 00:05:03.600 my mind. There'll be spots along the series you'll 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:06.100 see where I'll admit I don't know very much about 00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:08.100 it. And I'm sure some of you probably have greater 00:05:08.100 --> 00:05:12.230 expertise in certain areas. Share it. Don't stay 00:05:12.230 --> 00:05:15.910 silent. Talk about it, at least with people that 00:05:15.910 --> 00:05:17.629 are open to hearing what you have to say, and 00:05:17.629 --> 00:05:21.750 I'll be one of those people, right? If you yourself 00:05:21.750 --> 00:05:24.790 are not open to being wrong, to learning, to 00:05:24.790 --> 00:05:27.290 changing, to challenging yourself and others, 00:05:27.490 --> 00:05:34.050 then you're a bitch, okay? All right. Two, I 00:05:34.050 --> 00:05:37.170 am not here to shame or attack men or manhood 00:05:37.170 --> 00:05:41.149 or masculinity. That is not my aim at all. If 00:05:41.149 --> 00:05:44.370 anything, I want to have an honest discussion 00:05:44.370 --> 00:05:47.970 about what manhood is because I think there's 00:05:47.970 --> 00:05:50.949 some benefit to actually having an open conversation 00:05:50.949 --> 00:05:53.930 about it. But that also means that we're going 00:05:53.930 --> 00:05:58.430 to have to be honest. And that means that sometimes 00:05:58.430 --> 00:06:01.069 we're going to point out things that maybe isn't 00:06:01.069 --> 00:06:04.439 such a positive thing about being a man. But 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:06.300 ultimately, I want the world to just have better 00:06:06.300 --> 00:06:09.339 men. And I truly believe that there are good 00:06:09.339 --> 00:06:13.399 men out there who want the same thing. They want 00:06:13.399 --> 00:06:18.560 good men to have their moment in the sun, right? 00:06:18.839 --> 00:06:22.000 To be the ones that are proper role models for 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:25.560 the youth, who give to their community and make 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:29.250 the world a better place. Here's the thing. Being 00:06:29.250 --> 00:06:31.550 a man means owning up to your shit and being 00:06:31.550 --> 00:06:34.310 able to handle others pointing out some realities 00:06:34.310 --> 00:06:37.290 that aren't easy to hear. So I'm not going to 00:06:37.290 --> 00:06:40.910 lie. You might feel shame or feel attacked. And 00:06:40.910 --> 00:06:42.990 if so, I hope that you can take a moment to acknowledge 00:06:42.990 --> 00:06:46.350 your feelings. I will acknowledge them if we 00:06:46.350 --> 00:06:48.089 ever get the chance to meet, right? That you 00:06:48.089 --> 00:06:51.550 feel the way that you do. And to work with you, 00:06:51.649 --> 00:06:53.490 to talk with you, to find out where it's coming 00:06:53.490 --> 00:06:57.800 from. I'll share myself. I've had many experience 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:01.379 of feeling attacked, sometimes by women, sometimes 00:07:01.379 --> 00:07:04.019 by other men, only to realize that I just felt 00:07:04.019 --> 00:07:06.620 that way because something I heard honestly rang 00:07:06.620 --> 00:07:09.180 true. And it was something that I didn't like 00:07:09.180 --> 00:07:11.100 about myself. So it was like hitting certain 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:14.730 insecurities that I have. And then so I was reacting 00:07:14.730 --> 00:07:18.189 by feeling, I was feeling this way for a reason, 00:07:18.230 --> 00:07:20.089 right? I'll acknowledge your feelings. In other 00:07:20.089 --> 00:07:22.189 words, I'll acknowledge that you feel the way 00:07:22.189 --> 00:07:27.329 that you feel, and that you are allowed to feel 00:07:27.329 --> 00:07:29.629 the way that you feel. I'm not going to stop 00:07:29.629 --> 00:07:31.850 you from feeling how you feel. But I also want 00:07:31.850 --> 00:07:33.889 to be clear that that is not the same as acknowledging 00:07:33.889 --> 00:07:37.319 that what... you know you make of that feeling 00:07:37.319 --> 00:07:39.579 like placing blame or claiming that there's some 00:07:39.579 --> 00:07:42.339 injustice has been done to you or that some moral 00:07:42.339 --> 00:07:45.339 judgment is you know being placed upon you or 00:07:45.339 --> 00:07:48.000 something like that like that doesn't necessarily 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:50.060 follow from the fact that you feel the way that 00:07:50.060 --> 00:07:51.379 you do your feelings are your feelings right 00:07:51.379 --> 00:07:54.000 so please realize that your feelings are your 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:56.579 feelings and your feelings are not the same as 00:07:56.579 --> 00:07:58.879 reality i've learned that in my own life i have 00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:01.160 to you know had to grow into differentiating 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:02.899 between it but your feelings are not the same 00:08:02.899 --> 00:08:05.889 as reality okay If you can't see that distinction, 00:08:06.149 --> 00:08:09.769 guess what? Then you're a bitch, all right? Okay, 00:08:09.850 --> 00:08:15.670 three. I am focusing on men because there's clearly, 00:08:15.850 --> 00:08:21.410 undeniably, an epidemic among men. I actually 00:08:21.410 --> 00:08:25.389 think it's probably more men of particular economic 00:08:25.389 --> 00:08:28.490 situations and depending on the kind of community 00:08:28.490 --> 00:08:30.269 that they're in. There's a lot of other factors, 00:08:30.310 --> 00:08:33.969 not just men across the board necessarily. Generally, 00:08:33.969 --> 00:08:37.690 among men, we have some major, collectively, 00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:43.149 some issues that are haunting men, right? I think 00:08:43.149 --> 00:08:44.870 this is backed up well by the studies, at least 00:08:44.870 --> 00:08:46.950 the ones that I'm aware of, regarding male loneliness, 00:08:47.149 --> 00:08:50.529 depression, suicide rate, that shows us that 00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:53.190 men on the whole are suffering. Whether we want 00:08:53.190 --> 00:08:57.090 to acknowledge it or not, it's there. To be clear, 00:08:57.309 --> 00:09:01.539 this isn't necessarily true of all men. However, 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:04.820 the data and my own experience, at least the 00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:07.879 people in my community, when I see, you know, 00:09:07.879 --> 00:09:10.419 the difference between how girls are doing at 00:09:10.419 --> 00:09:12.679 school, how the boys are doing at school, how 00:09:12.679 --> 00:09:15.940 they're doing in terms of social, you know, acceptance 00:09:15.940 --> 00:09:17.919 and so on, right? Like clearly there's something 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:22.360 off here, right? And it's affecting men specifically, 00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:26.840 right? And it's a gender gap. I'm not going to 00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:29.669 deny it. There's a gender gap. And that's leading 00:09:29.669 --> 00:09:33.230 to men experiencing this sort of harm and suffering. 00:09:33.570 --> 00:09:36.830 So collectively, men are not doing so well, even 00:09:36.830 --> 00:09:39.950 if there might be exceptions. And if there is 00:09:39.950 --> 00:09:44.230 an issue facing men, then anyone who is not a 00:09:44.230 --> 00:09:46.850 man will have zero reason to care. I'm sorry, 00:09:46.970 --> 00:09:49.169 but no one's coming to save you, man. Except 00:09:49.169 --> 00:09:52.429 people who might care, which might probably be 00:09:52.429 --> 00:09:57.289 other men. If they see... And they're able to 00:09:57.289 --> 00:09:59.409 go ahead and empathize with your suffering, right? 00:09:59.570 --> 00:10:03.490 The only ones that can save men are men, right? 00:10:04.389 --> 00:10:07.110 I can't stress this enough. We need to do this 00:10:07.110 --> 00:10:09.529 for each other. And we won't get started on giving 00:10:09.529 --> 00:10:11.389 each other the right kind of support and helping 00:10:11.389 --> 00:10:14.330 each other grow if we don't acknowledge that 00:10:14.330 --> 00:10:16.970 we men as a group have a serious problem on our 00:10:16.970 --> 00:10:19.610 hands. And it's a problem that no one else is 00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:24.529 going to take care of other than men, okay? And 00:10:24.529 --> 00:10:26.570 I want to, again, stress, I'm stressing this 00:10:26.570 --> 00:10:29.450 a lot because I think people often take it, some 00:10:29.450 --> 00:10:31.149 of the things I say quite personally, and I'm 00:10:31.149 --> 00:10:33.269 like, you know, this is not personal. This is 00:10:33.269 --> 00:10:35.649 not directed at you, right? So I repeat, this 00:10:35.649 --> 00:10:37.629 is not about any one individual man. This is 00:10:37.629 --> 00:10:40.929 about the male community as a whole. And if you 00:10:40.929 --> 00:10:43.110 can't differentiate between the tendency within 00:10:43.110 --> 00:10:47.070 a collective group versus some small subset of 00:10:47.070 --> 00:10:50.929 individuals within that larger group, then you're 00:10:50.929 --> 00:10:56.259 a bitch. All right. Finally, number four. If 00:10:56.259 --> 00:10:59.440 you were offended at my suggestion that you might 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:02.860 be a bitch, then you're a bitch, okay? Look, 00:11:02.980 --> 00:11:06.159 there's a little bit of bitch in all of us. There's 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:08.559 no shame in it. Like I said, I'm not here to 00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:10.820 shame you, all right? I have a little bit of 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:13.580 bitch in me. I don't like it, when others point 00:11:13.580 --> 00:11:17.490 it out. or maybe point it out to somebody else 00:11:17.490 --> 00:11:20.990 and I see the parallels. But I also try to acknowledge 00:11:20.990 --> 00:11:23.710 it to be true when it is true, because to be 00:11:23.710 --> 00:11:26.330 honest, denial is not going to help me be any 00:11:26.330 --> 00:11:29.330 less of a bitch. Only hardcore bitches are too 00:11:29.330 --> 00:11:31.870 insecure to acknowledge that they're being a 00:11:31.870 --> 00:11:34.289 little bit of a bitch, right? So stop being a 00:11:34.289 --> 00:11:36.529 bitch and just accept the reality that you aren't 00:11:36.529 --> 00:11:39.309 perfect, just like I'm not, just like no one 00:11:39.309 --> 00:11:41.750 else in the world is. I will be wrong sometimes. 00:11:41.990 --> 00:11:44.590 You'll be wrong sometimes. I'll make mistakes 00:11:44.590 --> 00:11:47.529 sometimes. You make mistakes sometimes. That's 00:11:47.529 --> 00:11:51.330 just reality of deal with it, okay? Not dealing 00:11:51.330 --> 00:11:53.690 with it is what will make you more of a bitch. 00:11:54.029 --> 00:11:59.789 So stop being a bitch. Now, now that I got all 00:11:59.789 --> 00:12:01.710 of that out of the way, let's return to the central 00:12:01.710 --> 00:12:06.029 question. What makes a man a man and not, say, 00:12:06.029 --> 00:12:09.690 a boy? That's the core of what I want to get. 00:12:10.029 --> 00:12:12.830 into in this series, right? I want to focus on 00:12:12.830 --> 00:12:15.669 what it means to grow into a man. A boy is a 00:12:15.669 --> 00:12:18.470 boy, a man is a man. A man that is still mentally 00:12:18.470 --> 00:12:22.809 and emotionally a boy, that's a bitch. But how 00:12:22.809 --> 00:12:26.470 do we make sure that boys grow into men and not 00:12:26.470 --> 00:12:29.129 into bitches? Well, we're going to have to begin 00:12:29.129 --> 00:12:33.529 with the basics of properly defining what it 00:12:33.529 --> 00:12:36.720 means to be a man. And I think too many people 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:40.120 get confused with images of men versus the heart 00:12:40.120 --> 00:12:44.840 of what it actually means to be a man. Then we 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:46.720 could go on to discuss how to nurture boys into 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:49.299 becoming men. But first, we need to get our facts 00:12:49.299 --> 00:12:52.779 straight and figure out what a real man is. Why 00:12:52.779 --> 00:12:56.419 do we need to have this discussion at all? Don't 00:12:56.419 --> 00:12:58.240 we all know what it means to be a man? Oh, hell 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:01.450 no. It's clear that many boys don't know what 00:13:01.450 --> 00:13:04.009 it means to be a man and aren't aiming to be 00:13:04.009 --> 00:13:06.429 men because of the role models they have in their 00:13:06.429 --> 00:13:11.169 lives. Many boys seem to hold up bitches to be 00:13:11.169 --> 00:13:13.970 the exemplar of a man. Let me give you a classic 00:13:13.970 --> 00:13:17.429 prime example. Drake's bitch ass. If you don't 00:13:17.429 --> 00:13:20.870 know Aubrey Drake Graham, that bitch ass motherfucker, 00:13:21.309 --> 00:13:24.730 this bitch got all these kids confused about 00:13:24.730 --> 00:13:29.269 what a real man is. And we need to fix it. I'm 00:13:29.269 --> 00:13:31.350 going to say my piece on the issue. I honestly 00:13:31.350 --> 00:13:36.429 don't want the talk to end there. Again, my hope 00:13:36.429 --> 00:13:38.269 is that every man gets off their ass and speaks 00:13:38.269 --> 00:13:40.690 loud and clear on calling out bitches and bitch 00:13:40.690 --> 00:13:43.470 assness in the world so that collectively we 00:13:43.470 --> 00:13:47.090 can create a culture against bitch assitry, if 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:50.070 that's even a word. I believe there are good 00:13:50.070 --> 00:13:53.970 men in the world that have a clear eye and, you 00:13:53.970 --> 00:13:57.240 know, good. way of differentiating between men 00:13:57.240 --> 00:14:00.340 and bitches. I just want them to be more vocal 00:14:00.340 --> 00:14:03.820 leaders in their community. But you and I might 00:14:03.820 --> 00:14:07.360 differ on what we view as good men. So I need 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.919 for us to see eye to eye on this issue before 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:12.419 you go off and become another one of these bitches 00:14:12.419 --> 00:14:15.460 with a microphone, rather than a real man that 00:14:15.460 --> 00:14:19.740 raises up the next generation of real men. Okay? 00:14:21.940 --> 00:14:24.750 I want to be clear about something, though. We 00:14:24.750 --> 00:14:27.529 are discussing in part how to nurture boys to 00:14:27.529 --> 00:14:32.970 become men. But I am honestly primarily in this 00:14:32.970 --> 00:14:36.269 series, I'm primarily talking to adults. That's 00:14:36.269 --> 00:14:39.570 my target audience. At least that's my aim. And 00:14:39.570 --> 00:14:41.929 I'm pleading with y 'all to get your shit together. 00:14:42.570 --> 00:14:45.809 Here's the thing. I work primarily with students 00:14:45.809 --> 00:14:48.669 in the high school to college range, right? So 00:14:48.669 --> 00:14:53.190 mostly in the 15 to 23 -year -old range. I am 00:14:53.190 --> 00:14:55.230 not directing my attention at them because the 00:14:55.230 --> 00:14:58.009 truth is that, you know, they will only become 00:14:58.009 --> 00:15:00.730 what the previous generations guide them to become. 00:15:01.509 --> 00:15:03.190 They're still figuring things out for themselves, 00:15:03.409 --> 00:15:05.690 trying to figure out who they are, trying to 00:15:05.690 --> 00:15:07.470 figure out what their purpose in life is, right? 00:15:07.870 --> 00:15:10.210 I mean, just think back for yourself if you're, 00:15:10.210 --> 00:15:12.309 you know, past these ages, right? Like where 00:15:12.309 --> 00:15:15.539 you were mentally at these ages. You didn't have 00:15:15.539 --> 00:15:17.399 a good sense of the rest of the world. You were 00:15:17.399 --> 00:15:19.480 still kind of living in a little bit of a bubble. 00:15:19.899 --> 00:15:23.120 You were still not unsure of yourself. You're 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:24.620 trying to still figure things out for yourself, 00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:27.360 right? It doesn't make sense for us to put the 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:30.120 responsibility, at least completely, on them 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:32.820 to know what it means to be a man when they're 00:15:32.820 --> 00:15:35.139 still trying to figure that out. No, I'm talking 00:15:35.139 --> 00:15:39.480 to grown -ass men or... suppose it men i'm talking 00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:42.320 to the 38 year old father i'm talking to the 00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:45.759 50 year old store manager or a leader in their 00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:48.639 community i'm talking to those who are in a position 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:52.659 to make a real difference the one thing i hate 00:15:52.659 --> 00:15:55.019 is when older generations whine and bitch about 00:15:55.019 --> 00:15:57.659 the younger generation talking about how kids 00:15:57.659 --> 00:16:01.679 were back in my days right That, oh, yeah, if, 00:16:01.779 --> 00:16:03.580 you know, they just grew up in my generation, 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:05.840 right, we wouldn't do this and that. And this 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:08.220 is so appalling. Like, how dare they, you know, 00:16:08.220 --> 00:16:10.519 spend so much time worrying about getting their 00:16:10.519 --> 00:16:13.360 avocado toast and yada yada. Okay, look, it's 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:16.100 the older generations that gave birth to and 00:16:16.100 --> 00:16:18.440 raised the younger generation. If you want to 00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:20.240 see what went wrong in the younger generations, 00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:23.179 you can't look at the youth. You need to look 00:16:23.179 --> 00:16:25.419 in the fucking mirror. You need to look at the 00:16:25.419 --> 00:16:28.639 adults in the room that gave rise to that generation. 00:16:29.580 --> 00:16:33.139 You, all you 30 plus year olds need to take a 00:16:33.139 --> 00:16:35.519 hard look at yourself and acknowledge your part 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.759 in how the younger generation is turning out. 00:16:39.220 --> 00:16:42.139 Take some ownership of your part in this and 00:16:42.139 --> 00:16:46.580 find a way to do better, right? It's your responsibility. 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.679 It's yours. It's mine. It's all of us, right? 00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:53.289 It's all these adults. that should be taking 00:16:53.289 --> 00:16:56.169 responsibility for how the children in our community 00:16:56.169 --> 00:16:58.549 turn out. And when the children turn out to be 00:16:58.549 --> 00:17:02.029 bitches, look in the mirror. Look inward because 00:17:02.029 --> 00:17:04.549 you were the generation that raised these bitches. 00:17:04.769 --> 00:17:07.650 Bitches are not born out of a tree. They are 00:17:07.650 --> 00:17:11.089 nurtured and raised into being bitches. So I 00:17:11.089 --> 00:17:13.910 am imploring all of you adults to get your shit 00:17:13.910 --> 00:17:17.089 together, stop complaining, and get off your 00:17:17.089 --> 00:17:19.700 ass to do something about it. it doesn't have 00:17:19.700 --> 00:17:21.900 to be anything fanciful in fact the best way 00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:24.480 to make a positive impact is just not to be a 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:27.440 bitch yourself children learn from what we do 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.720 not from what we say the way you move will say 00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:33.339 a lot about what our youth pick up about what 00:17:33.339 --> 00:17:36.130 it means to be a man so start with yourself then 00:17:36.130 --> 00:17:39.589 your home, then your community. It can be as 00:17:39.589 --> 00:17:42.410 simple as becoming a part of a chorus of men 00:17:42.410 --> 00:17:45.190 who mentor children, especially those without 00:17:45.190 --> 00:17:49.730 fathers, or push for school or social policies 00:17:49.730 --> 00:17:53.369 that better nurture future men. The reality is 00:17:53.369 --> 00:17:56.369 that boys don't become men by watching people 00:17:56.369 --> 00:17:58.609 on the internet. They become men when there is 00:17:58.609 --> 00:18:01.529 a real man that actually enters into their real 00:18:01.529 --> 00:18:05.099 life face -to -face. and invest their time and 00:18:05.099 --> 00:18:08.240 energy in walking through life with them, guiding 00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:11.940 them, giving them resources and direction, helping 00:18:11.940 --> 00:18:14.400 them find their purpose, right? Boys respond 00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:17.279 to men who develop a real relationship with them. 00:18:17.539 --> 00:18:20.700 You need to be outside, and you need to be outside 00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:25.579 doing something, engaging with these boys, no 00:18:25.579 --> 00:18:29.170 matter how big or small. Little things done with 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:32.069 great intention can make a real impact, especially 00:18:32.069 --> 00:18:35.990 if each of us are doing our part so that collectively 00:18:35.990 --> 00:18:39.430 a lot of this work is getting done. But doing 00:18:39.430 --> 00:18:41.869 nothing is not an option. If you are not part 00:18:41.869 --> 00:18:44.589 of the solution, you're a complicit bitch hindering 00:18:44.589 --> 00:18:47.230 progress, and I have no respect for you. Just 00:18:47.230 --> 00:18:49.170 as I would want you to call me out for being 00:18:49.170 --> 00:18:51.849 a complicit bitch, I hope you can see this is 00:18:51.849 --> 00:18:54.250 not a desire to shame you, but to acknowledge 00:18:54.250 --> 00:18:58.619 that you are actually capable of more. I'd like 00:18:58.619 --> 00:19:01.519 to stand by your side in this fight together 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:05.900 to help young boys. But if you're not fighting 00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:09.460 with me, I cannot wait for you to decide whether 00:19:09.460 --> 00:19:11.259 or not you're going to participate. There's just 00:19:11.259 --> 00:19:14.019 too much at stake to just sit on the sideline. 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:19.740 Sorry, I told you I was going to come in hot. 00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:22.740 All right. Now, I need to address the title because 00:19:22.740 --> 00:19:25.119 I imagine it might seem a bit intense or maybe 00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:27.619 a little clickbaity. I don't know. So I don't 00:19:27.619 --> 00:19:29.640 want any confusion about what I'm doing, why 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:31.480 I'm using the words I'm using, and why I'm being 00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:34.140 so damn blunt and in your face, so much cursing. 00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:37.819 The term bitch here can be used in a pejorative, 00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:41.539 gendered way. That's not how I'm using it, as 00:19:41.539 --> 00:19:45.220 you can see. I'm using it as a way to describe... 00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:49.619 Basically, people who are cowards, people who 00:19:49.619 --> 00:19:53.240 are mentally, cognitively still children that 00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:55.440 haven't matured, right? So immature might be 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:59.160 a synonym for the way I'm using it. But is there 00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:02.940 a better word for it that's not so blunt and 00:20:02.940 --> 00:20:05.839 explicit? Yes. Will it be as effective as getting 00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:08.559 the message across? Hell no. I don't think it 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:11.299 will anyways. If you're caught up in the language 00:20:11.299 --> 00:20:13.440 that I use, then turn to a different podcast 00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:15.970 or listen to something else, okay? I'm not going 00:20:15.970 --> 00:20:18.009 to say it any other way because this is the way 00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:21.890 that at least people in circles that I run with, 00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:23.890 and I know that, you know, there's a lot of circles 00:20:23.890 --> 00:20:25.970 that are kind of like this. The people that at 00:20:25.970 --> 00:20:29.849 least I'm wanting to reach, this is how we speak, 00:20:29.990 --> 00:20:34.150 okay? I'm personally not worried and worked up 00:20:34.150 --> 00:20:37.089 over the specific words used to express the idea 00:20:37.089 --> 00:20:40.009 or thought. I do believe that there's power in 00:20:40.009 --> 00:20:42.609 words. But I also believe that what's important 00:20:42.609 --> 00:20:46.349 to communicate is the idea, not the word. And 00:20:46.349 --> 00:20:48.529 this idea I'm wanting to communicate is honestly 00:20:48.529 --> 00:20:53.569 captured best in common vernacular by the word 00:20:53.569 --> 00:20:57.250 bitch. The words coward, childish, immature, 00:20:57.430 --> 00:20:59.690 or anything of the like, it doesn't really capture 00:20:59.690 --> 00:21:03.049 the feeling that I'm going for. The utter disgust 00:21:03.049 --> 00:21:06.309 I feel at seeing the kind of bitch -assetry I 00:21:06.309 --> 00:21:10.079 see. Now, you can disagree with me, and if you 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:12.799 do and want to have an actual productive conversation 00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:16.140 about it, I'm not hiding. You can find me, contact 00:21:16.140 --> 00:21:19.660 me, and I'll make time for you as much as I have 00:21:19.660 --> 00:21:22.539 time for it. But just don't be a bitch about 00:21:22.539 --> 00:21:25.279 it and hide yourself behind anonymous comments. 00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:29.099 I don't respect that shit. All right, one last 00:21:29.099 --> 00:21:33.339 note. One last note. Though I am addressing manhood 00:21:33.339 --> 00:21:35.940 because there's a genuine issue with masculinity, 00:21:36.380 --> 00:21:38.519 at least in the United States, but I'm fairly 00:21:38.519 --> 00:21:41.619 certain this is kind of more worldwide. That 00:21:41.619 --> 00:21:43.680 doesn't mean that what I'm about to say about 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:47.640 manhood only applies to men. In fact, my abstract, 00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:50.500 more abstract philosophical belief here is that 00:21:50.500 --> 00:21:52.500 the points I'm making in this series are more 00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:54.539 generally about humans growing into virtuous 00:21:54.539 --> 00:21:58.240 people, into better people. I'm heavily influenced 00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.259 here by Aristotle, but also a lot of the 17th 00:22:01.259 --> 00:22:04.039 and 18th century, you know, enlightenment thinkers. 00:22:05.059 --> 00:22:08.940 And I think the central question is more about 00:22:08.940 --> 00:22:12.440 how you can grow into the best version of yourself. 00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:15.940 And that applies to men, women, non -binary, 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:18.640 whatever else category you want to put in here. 00:22:19.079 --> 00:22:22.359 I honestly don't give a shit. Now, again, I think 00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:24.319 as a group, there are issues with masculinity 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:28.490 that doesn't seem as prevalent as with other 00:22:28.490 --> 00:22:30.529 genders, at least the way that we as society 00:22:30.529 --> 00:22:32.750 kind of divide up these genders. But the truth 00:22:32.750 --> 00:22:35.250 is that there's a little bitch in every person. 00:22:36.109 --> 00:22:38.410 And we all need to work on addressing that bitch 00:22:38.410 --> 00:22:42.910 inside us. All this is to say, a bitch is a bitch. 00:22:43.250 --> 00:22:46.470 So don't get it twisted. No one is off the hook. 00:22:46.930 --> 00:22:49.390 If you're a bitch, I'm coming for you.