From the Dungeons of Morningstar, I'm Clint.
And I'm Stretch. And this is Prevailing Strange.
Welcome back to Rant and Sundry, another segment
of Prevailing Strange where we touch on the segments
that we've previously covered and, you know,
chat shit about other stuff. Yeah. Have you got
some jokes? Anyway, I've got, okay. I've got
one from, I'm going to save my one from Jack.
My son has got a good joke that he told me the
other day that his dad told him. Right. It sounds
weird when I say it like that, doesn't it? No.
Anyway, so this one's just for me. What goes
clop, clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop,
clop, clop, clop, clop, clop. An Amish drive
-by shooting. Okay. Told you, man. That's a cracker.
Okay. So this one's from Jack. He told me this
the other day. He went camping with his dad the
other week, on the weekend, and he come back
with this joke. What's the difference between
an enzyme and a hormone? You can't make an enzyme.
You can't hear an enzyme. Your sausage? I can
make a hormone. Wow. Rude. No, you can't. You're
married. No, I can't. That's right. That was
the first joke I had on the list. Was it really?
I don't know where I saw that, but yeah. Yeah.
Brendan told Jack that. That wasn't a joke. That
was fucking disgusting. I've got a few jokes.
It was instant. How? Pea and ham soup. Sorry,
bro. Tell me your joke. I need your reaction.
Oh, you'll get it. How many incels does it take
to screw in a light bulb? None. None. They'll
just sit in the dark and complain that no light
bulb would screw them. And then shoot the light
bulbs. Jesus. Oh, shit. Oh, incels. God. A vegan
and a vegetarian jump off a cliff to see who
could hit the ground first. Who wins? Society.
Well, yeah. You've heard of a hole in one before?
Yeah. How do you get seven holes in one? Stick
a flute up your ass. Wow. I thought we were going
to shoot someone, but yeah, all right. The Amish
crowd by shooting. Amish? Amish? Amish. There
we go. Why doesn't Vin Diesel like reverse cowgirl?
I don't know. Because you never turn your back
on family. Oh, that was an incest joke. I like
that. That was a good one. It was hilarious.
And then, oh, you flip the script. I've got one
that I probably won't put on the show. Yeah,
do it. No, you can't censor it, dude. What's
the difference between an orphanage and a terrorist
training camp? Nothing. I don't know. I just
fly the drone. Oh, that was pretty brutal. Oh,
shit. Oh, wow. That was a good one. That was
good. It's pretty dark. Oh, wow. That was darker
than Wesley Snipes, dude. That was so good. Oh,
that was a good joke. Jeremy. Thank you. What
are cameras? Oh, you got more? I got more. Oh,
shit. What do cameras and condoms have in common?
I don't know. They both capture the moment. You
got more? Come on, dude. We're going to cut yours
down. Three a week. I get headaches. Okay, I'll
give you one more. Thank you. Why do they call
it a waste? Because you could fit in a whole
other set of tits down there. Tits are so cool.
How good are tits? Okay, I've got more jokes,
but I won't. Yeah, please do. Just give me a
break. You can't. Are they all jokes? Yeah. No,
dude, come on. You've got to pace yourself. Yeah,
okay. So we were talking before. You said that,
which I found interesting, and I'll pose a question.
What would you do without music or art? And I
mean like… I know what you're talking about,
paintings, drawings, stuff like that. Yeah. Dude,
I can't live without music. Yeah, okay. Music,
happy, music, sad, music, popping around, music,
driving, music. Yeah, it would be… Really difficult
because I love drawing. I love art. Well, I rely
on drawing and art for my job. That's how I provide
for my family, dude. But I couldn't live without
music. It's just if I'm having a shit day and
I need to sort myself out before I get home because
I don't want Logan to ever see me in my low,
I've got to have some music. I've been drawing
all day. and it hasn't fixed my funk. So the
music, I can fix my funk in seven minutes on
the drive home. When my mum died, I went to work
the next day. I was like, okay, all right, the
most important person in my life has passed away.
I made jokes about it the next day. I made jokes
at her funeral. That's how I deal with shit.
When Chester Bennington died, I took three days
off work. Yeah, right. I was buckled, man. Even
to this day, me and Rachel sit down and we watched
a list, 20 people who passed away after their
song. And it had all these incredible artists.
Layne Staley, it had Chris Cornell, Johnny Cash.
And then Chester Bennington, dude. And even,
yeah, so when Chester passed, I was buckled,
man, for days. And even to this day, like if
I sit there and listen to Chester, it's, yeah,
man, it hits. And my whole back piece, and I
spoke to my friend Jacinda Minahan. You see me
always wearing it. I think I'm wearing one of
her shirts now. Yeah, I am. She's one of my favourite
artists, dude. And she was going to do my back
piece for me. there's a photo of Chester and
he's on the stage and he's backlit and he's sort
of reaching down and all of his fans are sort
of reaching up like that. And he's, I was going
to get the lyrics to given up across my back.
And at the end of the day, I'm thought, no, I'm
not going to do that. I love Chester Bennington.
I love Lincoln park, but that was a time where
I wasn't okay. And I don't want a remembrance
of that. That's fair. And now, I've got another
band that I listen to and it just brings so much
joy, man, and it's Electric Callboy. Yeah. It
just brings joy. No matter how shit of a day
you're having, you put on some Electric Callboy,
man, I guarantee you in five minutes it's going
to be all better. There's a saying or a quote
that I've heard that talking about art versus
music. Art is the way we decorate space. Yep.
Music is the way we decorate time, which I think
is pretty fucking, Fantastic and true. To be
honest, I don't know if I could handle not having
one of the two. Yeah. As someone who, like, and
I'm a cinephile. Like, I love movies. I love
TV. In case nobody's noticed, it's what we talk
about the majority of the time. A lot of my personality
is revolved around movie quotes. Yeah. But to
say that. I wouldn't be able to listen to music
ever again. You try watching a movie without
music, dude. Yeah. Well, I mean, I wasn't talking
about movies to be. I was talking about, like,
animation, like, drawing. Right. Okay. But, yeah.
Yeah. Music is definitely bigger for you. 100%.
100%. Yeah. And I could never be a musician.
Like, I've tried to play music. I can't, dude.
I'm not talented. I can draw and I can tattoo
people and I can make people laugh, but music's
something I'll never be able to be doing. I can
tongue punch a fart box. I know it's business,
but. And try doing that without music. It's just
not fun. No, it is. It's a lot of fun. It's the
sweetest kiss of all. Last time's the year. Have
you watched Bad Thoughts yet? No. Oh, mother
effer. Come on now. No time. Wow. So, well, you
don't need a lot of time. It's only 15 -minute
episodes. So you can watch it on your phone while
you're doing the shit. Space it out. You can
watch seven episodes a week. Just go and do your
15 -minute poop. Well, mine are like half an
hour. So Jack the Ripper Ink, our tattooist,
I posed a question to him today and he fucking
nailed it with the answer to it. Yep. If you
had three wishes. Right. Can you narrow it down?
You've got to abide by the three wishes law.
Can't wish for more wishes. Can't make someone
fall in love with you. Can't bring someone back
from the dead. What would your three wishes be?
Yeah, okay. It's hard, isn't it? Yeah, because
where do you draw the line at certain things?
I'm going to give you an answer that he gave
me, just one. The ability to fill things up.
Car's empty, fill it. Bank's empty, fill it.
Pantry's empty, fill it. Pool's empty, fill it.
Yeah. The ability to fill things up is something
that I never thought of wishing for, dude. No,
that's a pretty cool one. That's incredible.
It solves 90 % of every issue you will ever have
in your life. Yeah. I was blown away by it, and
I've been thinking about that all day. Like,
I can't think of three wishes. Everyone, oh,
I wish I had money that never run out. Okay,
cool. The ability to fill things just blew me
away. It was so simple, so simple and just blew
me away. What was his other two? I didn't listen.
I was too blown away by that one. Yeah. I don't
want to drag it down, but it would be something
along the lines of the health of everybody I
know and love. That's nice. I like that. But
then at the same time. I'm like, where do you
draw the line with that one? Health of everyone
you know and love. If there's someone out there
that's rude to you, you know them. And you want
nothing but bad health for them. And then why
is it my choice that somebody else doesn't kind
of get that? So it's, yeah, very grey, grey area.
Look, there's things that I'd wish, one of the
things I'd wish for is like for no diseases to
be incurable. I've lost too many people that
I love to cancer, man. I hate that shit. I know.
It's funny, but only with me mum, though. And
the thing, well, you know what me and Kayla are
like. Like, we both lost our mothers to cancer,
and we're dead brother, mother, sister. So that's
the way we work shit out. But another one of
my mates, Johnny Noise. He doesn't joke about
it. He lost his mum to cancer and that's the
thing. I don't joke about it in front of him
because he don't deal with shit like I have.
Like if I'm sad, man, I'll make myself laugh
in one way or another where I'm making fun of
me or making fun of somebody else. I respect
that about you. Yeah. It's the way I deal with
it and it's fucking psychopathic to some people.
Some people are definitely weirded out by it.
Yeah. Well, that's the thing. When mum passed
away and I was making jokes about it the next
day, people were like, what the fuck, dude? What
is wrong with you? And I'm like, you'll be right.
Speaking about fucked up shit, you know we're
talking about cannibalism. This little motherfucker
upstairs, this little fucking blood nut, right?
Yeah. He was talking about cannibalism all day
yesterday. Man, he's been on brands lately. He's
excited. He's like, I just want an excuse. So
there's a fellow I follow on Instagram called
Books Are Sick. I've followed him for a while
now. Anyway, I decided to join the – he has a
book club, which Patreon kind of is a Discord
server. More people should be using Discord,
bro. Yeah. I'm not fully into it, but I've dabbled
with Discord. So I was like, oh, yeah, fuck it.
I'll join this Discord. And I'd seen he'd had
a post a while ago, not that long ago actually,
about the people in this Discord. They were posting
videos of their favourite books with them with
their favourite books onto his Instagram page.
and their names. So in the fucking Discord chat,
they have names that are kind of given to them
by the chat. Right, okay. So I've joined today.
I've heard about this kind of ritual that they
go through, and another fella had signed up at
the same time as me. They have a general chat.
From what I gathered, it was when you first kind
of... say something in this general chat, they're
like, new person, naming ceremony, and they just
start fucking rapid fire, do, do, do, do, do,
all these fucking random names that they've obviously
had on lists for fucking people. But then they're
like, they're hitting them with prompts like,
you know, do you want gross? Do you want fucking
safe for work? Do you want, you know, are you
vegetarian? Are you a meat eater? Fucking what
do you do? What do you do for fun? Whatever.
So this fellow that was before me, I think he's
profile picture, he's wearing like a Maple Leafs
fucking hockey jersey. Toronto Maple Leafs. A
lot of hockey kind of stuff. So his name ended
up being Glory Goal, like a pun on a glory goal.
Nice. I like that. Yeah, pretty funny. Just it's
fucking there hitting him with all these different
things and I happened to comment in there like
this is fucking hilarious. And they're like,
oh, we've got another one. We'll get to you in
a minute. I'm like, I'm about to knock off work
and they're just fucking rapid firing this other
guy. So they've named him and they get on to
me and they're like, okay, because my handle's
realbighero on a lot of things. All right, realbighero,
you know, fucking this, that, whatever. And one
of the prompts was, what was the last thing you
ate and what was the last book you finished?
Oh, shit. So today I had pea and ham soup and
the last thing I finished was tender is the flesh.
Yep. I was talking to Jack about that, tender
is the flesh. So they're hitting me with like,
do you want gross or do you want like, give me
your best. Give me your best. So they're hitting
me with like lunch lady meat and fucking all
this fucking weird fucking shit and bam, bam,
bam. Anyway, so I ended up with Soylent. Soylent
is my name. That's disgusting. But, man, how
on brand has it been lately? Cannibalism is everywhere.
Two weeks ago we were talking about Hannibal.
Last week we were talking about Tender as a Flash,
and then I get named Soylent in this chat. Jack
was sitting there last night, today, and we were
sitting there talking about it. Can you remember
back in the day? I can't remember how long ago
it was. But there was the German guy who put
up and he just wanted to consume human flesh.
And he found somebody. A bloke donated himself
and he goes, I want to be consumed. There is
a movie out called, you're going to put it up
somewhere. I don't know. Where are you going
to put it? Next to your head. Oh, yeah. Grim
Love. Holy shit. Now he's like. Dude, I just
want an excuse. If someone makes it okay, I will
consume human flesh. I'm like, I work beside
this guy and I'm like, what the fuck, Jack? What
the hell? He goes, oh, you know, just to try
something new. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong
with you, man? He goes, what? I've had penis
in my butt. I'm fine. I'm like, penis in your
butt and eating fucking human is different, bro.
Each their own. Very, very proud bisexual. And
he's like, yeah, I've had it in my butt, I'll
eat it. I'm like, well, fuck me, right? He goes,
gladly. Oh, God. I think there's a documentary
on Netflix at the moment of this fella that was
living in some English town and he ran the website
for these people who wanted to cut their own
penises off. We're going to circle back to that.
There was an artist in Japan who cut his own
penis off and then he auctioned off six dinner
tables and he was going to feed it to people
and only two people turned up. That's all it
would have fed, man. Legitimately, because it's
not muscle, it's just tissue. As soon as you
put it in a frying pan, it shrivels up. It sounds
funny. It does sound funny. But all mate that
ate, when he consumed his, because they became
lovers. The first thing he cut off was his dick.
And he's like, I want us to consume it together.
As soon as he put it in the frying pan, it went
and just absorbed. So they're both sitting there
eating this 20 -cent piece -sized meat that's
his penis. And he's like, I'm so sorry, baby.
I thought it would be more tender than that.
This is in court because he filmed it all. This
is in court fucking. Manuscripts, dude. What
the fuck? What is wrong with people? Do you know
what's worse? Have you ever seen the website
Beamazine? B -M -E -Z -I -N -E. Every four years
they hold something called the Pain Olympics.
I've heard about this, yeah. From the annals
of the internet, I've heard about this. There
is a category called self -barbification. Jeremy,
barbification. What do you think that entails,
Jeremy? I heard it and I've forgotten about it.
I'm going to remind you. No, I'm going to remind
you right now. Self -barbification is Barbie.
What does Barbie have? A lack of. Cut off the
balls and fuck off. And they sew the scrotum
over the hole, bro. Fuck off. No. No. No. Mm
-hmm. No. No good. No. Please, nobody look up
beamazine .com. No. The link will be in the description
below. No, it won't. No, it won't. It will not.
And this is something that I'm not here to yuck
anyone's yum. Mm -hmm. If that's what you're
into. Power to you, man. As long as you're not
hurting someone else, I didn't give a fuck. That's
always been my opinion. Do what you want. Your
fetishes are yours. You do whatever you want.
Go for it, man. As long as you do not hurt the
innocent. Do not hurt another person that doesn't
want to be hurt. And even if you're in the middle
of doing something like that and they say stop,
fucking stop. Because no doesn't have a time
limit. But yes, I wrote self -barbification down
there just so that I remembered. But I don't
think I'm ever going to forget that because the
last time I looked at Beamerzine was probably
about 10 years ago. I'm glad I've never looked
at it. Go on, give it a look. I remember looking
at rotten .com when I was a kid. That shit was
fucked up. Dude, that was so PG. I remember watching
the Tupac thing. Yeah, they had his, what was
it? They had his, the coroner. Yeah. The coroner
filmed it and put it up on rotten .com. He got
the sack and shit, but still, that was heavy,
man. What were we, 13? I'm younger than you,
bro. What was it? 32 KPBS modems? Yeah. That
sweet dial -up sound. So good, wasn't it? Used
to fucking try and hide the modem under the pillow
in the middle of the night when you're dialing
up the internet. Not even that, dude, because
we had a study at home, and I remember I went,
like, I downloaded a picture of Jerry Halliwell
nude in the Spice Girls. Before I went to school.
Locked the door. Went to school. Come back. The
fucker still wasn't downloaded. It wasn't even
her. It was her head. Photo chopped. Upset. Upset.
Jerry Howell was my favourite. She was good.
Spice Girls. No. No. No, she was my pick. I don't
know. You're wrong. Fair enough. No, you're probably
not. She was the wildest, though. Pretty sure
she did do nerds. I don't know. I watched the
thing with Stepping Away from the Nerds, but
watched the We Are the Beckhams, I thought, something
that was on Netflix. And had Jerry, not Jerry,
but Posh Posh was like. You know, we're just
a working class family. We're middle class. And
then fucking Beckham's like, what car did you
get driven to in school? Oh, that's not what
he could have. He goes, no, no, no. Tell everybody
what sort of car it was. She goes, it was a Bentley.
And I'm like, fucking what? Middle class is a
VN Commodore over here, bro. Yeah, he said, you're
not middle class. You're not a butler. Fuck off.
Oh, yeah, he tore strips off her foot. Oh, dude,
it was so much fun. And that's the thing. He's
like, dude, don't try to fucking lie to people.
You're not middle class. You never have been.
There's a reason why you're posh spice. But,
yeah, I was like sitting there talking to Jack
the other day. Jack, my son, I'm like. Just talking
to him about how it was back in the day and shit.
He's like. You're really old. So we've had it.
Wow. But this is the thing. I've never sat down
with my sperm donor and had the conversation.
And I've never had the sort of the conversations
that I have with my kids. Like I sit down and
they're like, they're my people. So I'll sit
down and I'll have, well, you've seen what I'm
like with fucking Lando. I'll sit there and talk
with Lando. God knows how long. I don't want
him to ever think that he's a stupid kid and
they're a kid. You don't deserve my time. Yeah.
Which is the way I always felt when I was growing
up. And I've had the relationship like with your
dad, with me mate, with Watto's dad, Dave Burke's
dad, Branchie's dad. And like I've always been
able to talk to them like they're actual humans
and they've never spoke down to me like I was
a moron. Yeah. And I think that's where. I've
never had that growing up and being able to do
that with my kids, man, makes me happy as shit.
It's good times. I always get pulled up for talking
to Landon like he's older. Man, he's fucking
switched on. Oh, dude. Even if he doesn't understand
at the moment, he's going to remember what I've
said and it's going to sink in at some point.
Yeah. Dude. He is more switched on than a lot
of kids are. He's a good kid, man. He's so fucking
fine. Thea's just going to dead set destroy humans.
She's going to take over the world, bro. Yeah,
I feel for whoever ends up with her. I'm not
worried one bit. Dude, she's so fucking cool.
Oh, dude, she's so cool. Births like the other
day and Jack goes, I can't believe Ruby's at
high school now. And I'm like, it was Marley's
13th birthday the other day. Had to go and headbutt
a wall. It's bullshit, isn't it? Oh, God damn
it. And then I remember, oh, hang on, Jack's
17, Rain's 18. A video came up in me memories
the other day on me photo album. Rachel put it
up on a story and it was one of the logos like
18 months old, two years old. Dude, I can't.
It felt like yesterday. And now he gets up and
he goes, Dad, don't want sultana brain, Nutri
-Grain. And if you're going to make me a Vegemite
sandwich, can you put some cheese on it, please?
No stutter, no slurring. Nothing like that. It
was just straight out with his request. And I'm
like, God damn it. Shit. Yeah. Baby fucking one
of those words up for me. It's like Theo at the
moment says. What did she say? Instead of cockroach,
cockroach, cockroach. It's a cockroach. And she's
crying. Dude, I mean, when Logan went to kindergarten,
his teachers go, oh, he says this word wrong.
He says this letter wrong. And I'm like, we've
got to try to get him. And she's like, oh, we've
got to try to get him out of that. And I'm like,
I don't want him to. No. It's cute as shit. We'll
keep that. So we started recording every time
he said a word wrong, just so I can keep it,
man, because one day he's going to come out from
school and he's going to say the word right.
Yeah. And it's going to be the last time I ever
hear it. Yeah. And it's going to break my heart.
On that note. Mate, you really do need to fucking
figure out how you finish this show off. You
finish it off. I started. Well, on that note.
I'm keeping you in line. Yeah, sure. Thanks for
joining us on this episode of Prevailing Strange.
Like, comment, subscribe, do all the things that
you'd like to do. Please, if there's any sort
of subject that you'd like to hear us talk about,
please comment and let us know. We're always
here to read them all. Love, peace, chicken grease
Bye. I have so much fun doing this shit
with you, dude. Oh, yeah.