1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,880 Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. First of all, I'm not on my usual setup at the moment, 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:12,160 so I apologize for the audio quality. If you hear any movement or anything, it's just me 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,960 kind of walking around. I sort of do this and I walk around a little bit when I have 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:19,400 like the freedom to do so, because I'm not on a wired headset today. It gives me the 5 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:24,200 opportunity to walk around, so sorry if you hear any background noise. But this will be 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:28,120 a pretty informative episode, or at least I think it will be. So I hope you take some 7 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:34,160 value from it, and I hope it's not too unbearable to listen to an airport quality voice. Anyway, 8 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:39,560 so today I wanted to talk about something that's been a pretty recent thing for me. 9 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:46,800 I will say this right now, I haven't been sort of having this like mindset for, I guess 10 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:52,280 it's a mindset for long. But I've done some research in that time and I've talked to a 11 00:00:52,280 --> 00:01:00,200 few professionals, including my own therapist, counselor, whatever you call it in this time. 12 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:04,000 So I do have a little bit of insight, but it might be something that other people have 13 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,320 realized already, but just for me, this is a pretty new discovery. I just wanted to share 14 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,280 it and talk about it because there may be some other people in the same position as 15 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:18,640 me that kind of need to hear this. So basically, when I first developed all this and metaphobia 16 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:25,600 stuff, and I did my research, and I discovered what it was and I did, you know, that's just 17 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:31,120 what we all do at the start. You know, there was peace and finding out that it was something 18 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:37,440 real. But at the same time, it was also like how the hell am I supposed to deal with this? 19 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:43,120 During that time, I sort of have went through all the motions, just random panic attacks, 20 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:47,560 days where I wanted to give up, days where I was fine, just your usual healing process 21 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,960 or dealing with a process. I wasn't really healing, but I went through, you know, the 22 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,040 same thing as you did, I guess, you know, most for the most part, I assume it's pretty 23 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:03,080 similar. And then I got to a point where I was comfortable enough doing the things I 24 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,000 was doing. I was comfortable enough eating the food that I liked. I had a pretty wide 25 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:12,720 a wide variety of food I ate. I was comfortable going for my walks outside again. I wasn't 26 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,400 afraid to leave the house so much that even I could do my shopping, I could drive to, 27 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:21,800 you know, the town over and do my groceries and fuel and fast food and whatever the hell 28 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:28,240 I wanted to do. So I was at a point where I needed to push forward. Like it was a big 29 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:33,040 step. There wasn't really a baby step for me to go after that, it felt, you know, because 30 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:37,760 obviously baby steps are very important. But I couldn't take anymore. There wasn't any 31 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,800 really more baby steps to, you know, take. I didn't have a job and I couldn't have gone 32 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,000 to a job interview and said, hey, can I work one day a week? You know, like they're probably 33 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:51,280 not going to hire me if I said that. But I, if anyway, I'm granting, but I, the next step 34 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:59,640 was a big one. And I did it. I did that big step. And then I did a few big steps after 35 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:05,240 that. And then I progressed to a point where I hadn't been before a point of actual happiness. 36 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,200 I was happy pretty much 90% of the time. I didn't have panic attacks anymore. I was normal 37 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:14,720 basically like I live normally. Shouldn't say normal. But yeah, I was living relatively 38 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:21,920 normally. Like there was no real issues for quite a while there. But during that phase 39 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:26,640 of like having to do those big steps, I sort of got into this mindset where I had to push 40 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:32,040 because it wasn't easy. Like it took a long time to do these big steps because they were 41 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:38,000 big steps. And I had to do some, you know, baby steps in between the big steps when I 42 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:44,120 could. But it was mostly big, bigger steps, what I would call bigger steps anyways. And 43 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,440 I had this mindset on me that I developed that I had to push and just push and push 44 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:52,800 and push, you know, and no matter how hard it got, I had to push further and it worked 45 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:59,440 for a while. It was sort of what I needed was to be sort of, you know, pushing a little 46 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:05,040 harder. But I took that way too far. I would force myself into things. I would force myself 47 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:12,960 into situations that would make me panic and freak out. And that would make me feel awful. 48 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,680 And if I didn't do those things, I would also let myself know I would definitely not be 49 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:23,840 nice about it to myself. I would, I would, I would internally destroy myself for not 50 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,840 being able to achieve something that I achieved the day before or that I had set myself a really 51 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:37,920 like a high standard for. And that mindset never really ended. I've had that ever since 52 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:43,280 and this was two years ago. But things also obviously for me at least haven't been as hard 53 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:48,400 as they are at the moment. And I've had to learn how to be more gentle with myself, how 54 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:53,640 to be kinder, how to have better self talk, how to trust the process that I'm going through 55 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,560 because I know I'm doing the right things, but there's no time limit and I can't make 56 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:05,080 it go can't make it be better now. But from day dot, it's all I've been doing for the 57 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:10,120 last like three, four months is pushing and pushing and pushing. And I've been forcing 58 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:20,360 myself into situations that make me feel anxious, like really anxious. And I took some time 59 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:26,640 off work about a month or a couple weeks ago, about a month ago, I'd say. And it's been 60 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,920 good not having to worry about work. I'm in a situation where I don't have to worry so 61 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:36,760 much about the financial part of it. So like, which is good for now, it's not a forever 62 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,520 thing, but it's a for now thing. So it made it easier. You know, there's not so much stress 63 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:47,560 on me for that right now. But I went to go back to my first shift the other day just 64 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:52,040 on four days ago from recording this, and I'll post this is the same day I'm recording 65 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:57,400 it. So yeah, about three days, four days, my first shift. And I got up in the morning, 66 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:02,680 and I was feeling a little anxious about the night before as well. But I when I got up 67 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:10,280 in the morning, I was feeling just not good. Not anxious, particularly, particularly whatever 68 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:16,720 the fuck that I don't know how to pronounce that it's like, I wasn't too anxious. I wasn't 69 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:22,200 I was just, I guess I was just uncomfortable. There's something in me that was telling me 70 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:29,960 like this isn't going to be a good day. But I pushed it aside, I got ready. Not so willingly, 71 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:34,760 but I did I got in the car and I drove about basically got to my work, which is about half 72 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:41,400 an hour away. And like the entire time I was driving as well, I was just thinking I can't 73 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:47,560 do I don't think I can do this. But I kept having thoughts of like, what's going to be 74 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:53,200 the benefit of this? If I've already feel this way. I've already set myself up for this. 75 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:58,440 And I know that there's a part of me that can do this. Like I knew it and beside myself 76 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:05,520 that I was going to be able to do it if I really wanted to. But I didn't like I the 77 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:10,920 first time I sort of, I felt my body and how it felt. And I took, you know, like I took 78 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,280 it into consideration, I paid attention to what it actually felt like. And I thought 79 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:20,280 to myself, I'm fucking tired. I don't want to do this. I'm not even anxious. I just straight 80 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:26,360 up don't want to do this. I was definitely a little anxious. But something told me that 81 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,120 regardless if I made it through that shift or not, it wasn't going to benefit me. And 82 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,840 I might be wrong. I don't know that. But I know myself well enough to know that I trust 83 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,480 I needed to trust that. And I thought to myself, Hey, you're forcing yourself into this and 84 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,920 you're not really that ready for it. You can probably do it, but you're going to be 85 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,240 wrecked for the rest of the week. You're going to be exhausted. You're not going to be able 86 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,040 to pay proper attention to your partner. You're not going to be able to do anything. You're 87 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,520 not going to be able to, you know, you're going to be super anxious when you get home. 88 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,280 All the anxiety is going to come out when you get home. You know, because you're going 89 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:06,320 to get it from this regardless. And I just knew it wasn't a good idea. So I turned around. 90 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:12,800 I made it for the first time in my life, I made a decision to not force myself into 91 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:18,840 doing something for the benefit of my anxiety or for what I thought would be a benefit. 92 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:23,480 And I don't think I've felt such a weight lift off my shoulders, even if it was only 93 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:30,160 for the day. There was such a relief in that because I chose to do something for myself 94 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:35,160 because I've been getting hounded by everyone around me that I need to take a break, that 95 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:39,080 I need to relax, that I just need to let it go and let things go at their own pace because 96 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:45,600 I'm doing what I can and it'll work. But it'll work when it works. I can't make it work right 97 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:57,080 now. I know some of you feel that too. I know a lot of people force themselves into things. 98 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:02,440 They push and push and they never relax and they wonder why they're not getting any better. 99 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:09,560 That's me. At least that's what I'm trying to unlearn right now, is that behaviour. Because 100 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,560 from the research I've done, or like an end from my own experience, I can tell you now 101 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:16,760 that it doesn't necessarily help your anxiety when you force yourself into doing something 102 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:22,120 because just because you did it doesn't mean you did a good thing for yourself, I guess. 103 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,440 As weird as that probably sounds. Because I had the mindset from when this started that 104 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,240 all I knew, all I remembered from my past was I needed to push. I didn't remember the 105 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:35,240 time I was gentle with myself, which I was. I was very gentle for a time there before 106 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:40,840 I started this pushing stuff like a few years ago. So the only part I remember was the pushing. 107 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,840 So as soon as I noticed things were getting off, I pushed really hard. And that started 108 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:51,720 four months ago and I haven't stopped until then, until that day. And I've sort of put 109 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,320 that into like that's at the forefront of my mind. That's the main thing I'm focusing 110 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:59,360 on is I'm not going to force myself to do something that I really don't want to do. 111 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:03,240 I will know when the time is right to push myself to do so. I will know when I need an 112 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:08,120 extra push, when I need to do something. But I also know the difference between doing 113 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,680 that and forcing myself into something. And I know if it's going to benefit me or not, 114 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:16,240 because I've been here too. I've been in these situations too many times. I know these things. 115 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,480 We all are capable of knowing that we all do know this. We know ourselves way better 116 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:26,120 than we think. But I feel like we don't take the time to listen to ourselves. Dude, like 117 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:30,560 I, that when I, for example, like, this is probably like a little bit of a rant on enough 118 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:36,200 as it's boring or not, but I'm going to post it anyways. That day that I, I decided to 119 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,840 do that for myself. Just a couple of days ago, like I did every single thing that day 120 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:46,440 that I wanted to do without a feeling of anxiety. And I'm not saying it's a magic cure either. 121 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,640 But for the rest of the day, I felt free. I went on a date with my, with my partner and 122 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,240 we hadn't been on one in ages because of me. I ate food at a restaurant I've never eaten 123 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:02,680 before. We went to op shops and I was touching things little weird kids would touch and with 124 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:11,400 their dirty fucking hands, whatever, you know, like I was, I was, I was free for like 12 125 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:17,280 hours. It felt like because of how heavy that forcing myself to do things was weighing 126 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:24,400 on me. And like, I'm not going to lie. As I said, it's not a fix. It's not a solution 127 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,440 to all my problems. It's not going to make everything better right now. But I can tell 128 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:38,000 that I'm letting a wall down for myself. I've sort of locked myself in a part of this progression 129 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:42,040 in this healing process with the forcing myself. I was at a point where I wasn't necessarily 130 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:46,160 getting worse, but I definitely wasn't getting any better. But at the moment, I'm sort of 131 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:53,040 just letting things flow as they want. And just healing in general, isn't about pushing 132 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,920 yourself really hard, exposing yourself to everything. It's about giving yourself the 133 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:01,000 space to process and deal with these things. If you ever do it, you're risking burning 134 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:07,840 yourself out, making setbacks for your really bad, really like way worse. And I definitely 135 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:13,280 experienced that. Like I like every time I couldn't do something like lately has just 136 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,240 been, is I've been dreading the most traumatizing. I just I don't forget it. It ruins my whole 137 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:24,080 day. It ruins everything about the next day as well. I do not let go. It's a part of me 138 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:29,000 finally learned that I need to a little bit. And I don't think this is all just for me. 139 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,800 Like I'm not I probably sounds like I'm just ranting about myself. But I think a lot of 140 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:39,240 us can learn something from that. From letting go a little bit, from being kinder to ourselves, 141 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:47,240 from not forcing ourselves into things so much. You know, we all know a little bit of 142 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:52,000 exposure is good. But what about too much? Now whenever talks about too much exposure? 143 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:58,640 Well, at least I don't hear that. I don't see people talking about that. We've all done 144 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,920 it. We've all we've all over been overconfident with ourselves and try to push it, which is 145 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,080 good. It's good to feel confident. It's good to feel like you can do something in the moment 146 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:11,280 too. A lot of us get carried away sometimes like we might be with friends drinking. And 147 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,160 we don't drink much. We're a metaphobic we'll have like two and be good. At least that's 148 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:20,160 for me is if that's how it goes. But sometimes we can get carried away. And it's good exposure 149 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,880 for a little bit until you realize what's happened. Or you could eat something that you 150 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,520 thought was really good. And then you start getting really worried about it. You read 151 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:31,160 some reviews, you heard a story from a friend, some idiot told you they got through poisoning 152 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:40,280 from it and just wrecked your whole night. I don't know. Whatever it could be for you. 153 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,720 But it's good to feel that way like we can do things. But we do sometimes get carried 154 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:49,800 away with those things. And it could be a good or bad, you know, positive or a negative. 155 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,800 The thing that happened for me was a massive negative. Like all of it for months has been 156 00:13:54,800 --> 00:14:00,840 a negative. I have not been progressing. I've not been making myself better. I have not been 157 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:05,120 learning anything besides that I need to fear these things more because of how scary they 158 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:09,440 feel because of how hard I just push myself into them instead of letting myself go at 159 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:20,960 a less dangerous pace, I guess, less intense pace. I know I've rambled a lot. It's sort 160 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,400 of weighed on my mind a little bit. And I sort of see it every day because I'm in a 161 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:31,480 few groups throughout the socials about a metaphobe. And I do see a lot of people talking 162 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:36,120 about when they've been somewhere and then they have a panic attack and then, you know, 163 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,600 they force themselves to do something. Like they're really bad about going somewhere and 164 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:46,720 they did it anyway. Sometimes you have to trust that feeling inside of you that says 165 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:54,640 it's not today. Today is not the day for this. And I get it's hard to decide that because 166 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:59,320 I mean, most of us feel that every day or most days or a couple of times a week. We 167 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:05,440 don't really sometimes know the difference. But I guess what I'm saying is that if you 168 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:10,120 can, you should try to listen to your body a little bit or a little more. It's not always 169 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:17,560 lying. You know, for the first time I trusted myself and it ended up being a really good 170 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:24,400 decision. And maybe next time it might backfire. It can't always go right. And it's not always 171 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,920 going to make you feel really good, right? Sometimes it's going to make you feel a little 172 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:33,080 disappointed that you couldn't do that thing. I for sure wasn't. I was happy. I was so happy. 173 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,400 But I'm sure that if that happened another day, you know, where I was feeling a little 174 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,600 different about it, but I still decided to listen to myself, I would have felt shitty. 175 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:46,520 I would have been like, damn, I wish I went to work, but I know this is good for me. 176 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:51,240 Slowing everything down a little bit sucks because I want myself to be out of this as 177 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:56,680 fast as possible. And we all want that for ourselves. We all want to be so far out of 178 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:03,760 this phobia and out of the states we're in with it. But we can't force that. We don't 179 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:08,600 necessarily have control over how quick this process happens. We have control over what 180 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:16,800 we do. We can spend the time we are like we have in this as, you know, doing things that 181 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:21,120 benefit us. And we're going to make mistakes along the way. We're going to fuck up. We're 182 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:25,080 going to eat something we didn't necessarily know we shouldn't have eaten or decide that 183 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,680 we shouldn't have eaten after we're already ate it or we're going to drink too much. We're 184 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:33,520 going to do this, go there, do whatever we're going to do hundreds of things wrong. We're 185 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:37,040 going to have panic attacks. We're going to have shit days. We're going to have days 186 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:44,720 we're going to give up. But we're not going to. Okay. I promise you, if you're in a position 187 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:50,400 where you feel like you're not getting any better, please try slowing down a little bit. 188 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:58,920 Don't force yourself to do so much. Take it back just a little bit. It'll give you a little 189 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:04,760 more time to think and that will be a good thing when you can, you know, it clears your 190 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:10,360 head a little bit at least for me. It was a bit scary because I've let go of a few other 191 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:16,840 things and it's freed up a little bit of time. For now, it's going to free up a little bit 192 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,600 of time. These are things I do want to piss you still, but for now I decided I needed 193 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:27,120 to, they're just not that important right now. And it's given me more time, but I have 194 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:32,120 that time to spend on other things, things for me. I've gotten into guided meditation. 195 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:36,800 I don't know what everyone's opinions are on that, but I seem I like it so, so far. I 196 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:41,680 don't mind it. I like going outside and being mindful, you know, just spending more time 197 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:48,600 doing the things that I want to do that don't cause me anxiety so I can sort of save up 198 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:53,280 my energy to push myself a little further tomorrow to do something just a little bit. 199 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:59,000 I'm not forcing anything just a little bit, but I just want sort of everyone to know that 200 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,600 it's okay if you need to take a break or if you don't want to, you can't go to work today 201 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,560 or you can't go to that fucking wedding or something. I don't know. It's not the end 202 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:15,160 of the world. It might feel like shit if you can't do that thing. But if you, if you have 203 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,200 to force yourself to do that thing, you're probably going to end up having the biggest 204 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:23,320 panic attack. Most of the time, I think anyway, sometimes you can get through it and it be 205 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:30,000 okay. I'm not, I don't know your situation. I just know my own. I just know what's happened 206 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:35,560 with that. And I can just say that most times I've like absolutely forced myself like just 207 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:43,040 to the limit of forcing myself is what I'm talking about. Like it has ended badly. Like 208 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:48,040 I have literally just pushed myself into a panic attack and I can't mindfulness my way 209 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:54,400 out of that one, you know, like I need to leave sort of thing. So I just, yeah, I just 210 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,240 want, as I said, I want people to sort of maybe chill a little bit. If you're in a position 211 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:05,800 where you feel like you're not getting anywhere, take a step back, you're not taking us, you 212 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:10,480 know, you're not taking an L here. It's not a setback. You're not giving up. You're not 213 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:17,920 losing to anything. All you're going to be doing is trying, but in a different way. 214 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:24,280 It might be a better way. It might be exactly what you need. It's just an option though. 215 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:29,160 As per usual, I'm not giving any proper professional advice. I have no idea, but I'm just talking 216 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,800 from my own experiences. And I hope that despite how much I've rambled in this, I hope someone 217 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,160 finds some value in it. It means a lot to me that I've sort of had this realization for 218 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:44,920 myself. And I've tried to do the most research I can in like, you know, the short days until 219 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,840 I decided I can't wait anymore. And I want to record this and I want to get this out 220 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:52,120 there. So this might be common knowledge, but for me it wasn't. I hope you're having 221 00:19:52,120 --> 00:20:18,960 a good day. See you later.