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Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast.

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Today I wanted to talk about something I think a lot of us can relate to.

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The feeling of progress being too slow or not there.

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I know first hand that it is probably one of the most frustrating parts of this.

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Especially when you get to a point where you can sort of function but sort of can't.

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And then you just feel like you've been stuck in that same spot for like three months and it's not getting any better.

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But you've been doing all the things you need to do or you've been trying your hardest.

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I know that position well. I've been there multiple times.

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And I just sort of wanted to share things that help me stay a little motivated.

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And maybe like experience my own in that and some tips I have for that sort of thing.

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Remember, I'm not perfect in that. You know, I still do this to myself.

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It's just easier now with the strategies I've sort of made and sort of researched and found for myself.

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To help me sort of pull myself back out of those moments.

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So yeah.

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So I remember a time there where I got to the point where I could sort of do things again.

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Like I was able to leave my house and do just regular things again.

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But I didn't have a job and I still didn't really have any friends and I was still pretty alone.

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I still had a lot of anxiety most of the time.

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Like I was able to go to the shop and say buy my groceries but it wasn't easy.

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It was very hard. And every time I did it, it didn't feel like it got any easier.

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And it stayed this way with basically everything to do with just going anywhere or existing for like a couple months.

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So like life was just, it was livable but it wasn't good.

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You know, like it was, I was able to just get by but not in a good way.

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It was just really hard.

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And I remember thinking to myself like what, like is maybe this is how I'm going to be for the rest of my life now.

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You know, maybe this is the peak. Maybe this is as far as I get and I'd never get any better from this.

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Now, looking back, I know that is completely false, stupid and wrong.

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Because you can get but you can get basically 100% normal or maybe like 95% normal.

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But I didn't know that back then. You know, I just assumed, like I was like this is it.

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You know, and it really, really sucked.

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But something inside me sort of just said keep going. Just keep going a little bit. You know, just keep trying.

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So I did. And like long story short, I got to a position where I was working again, a full time job.

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And I had more responsibilities. I went to the gym every day and I got my groceries without an issue.

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And I ate whatever I want, went to restaurants and movies, traveled to different places, you know.

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So I lived normally. Like and that was only about a year after that I was experiencing those feelings.

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Like I was normal basically. As normal as I could be.

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So it proves to me that it is very possible. But it just feels so unreachable.

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You know, for me it felt like I was just I was never going to get there.

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You know, like I had the idea in my head like I've been normal before or my definition of normal before.

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But I don't know if I can get back to that. I don't remember what it feels like to not have to struggle to do things.

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Like go to the supermarket or see friends or eat dinner or have a shower or do anything.

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You know, I don't remember what that feels like. But I did just keep going.

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You know, and it's as it can be really hard to do that.

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I didn't really have anything motivating me besides the like the only thought I had in my head of any type of motivation was like I want to get to a point where I am.

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I can do these things easily. You know, I could live a 95 percent anxiety free life.

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I didn't believe that was going to be possible. Like I didn't actually believe that. But it was my goal.

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It was my only source of motivation. So I really didn't have anything going on because I didn't believe it.

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But it is what it is, you know.

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But I sort of had to learn in that time that acknowledging setbacks, it's like like setbacks and slow progress.

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They're sort of a normal thing. They're sort of a part of it. You kind of have to experience these things, you know,

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and setbacks don't automatically mean progress lost.

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Like if you go to the supermarket and you have a panic attack, it doesn't mean that you are back to the point where you were before you could go to the supermarket and not have a panic attack or whatever.

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You know, you are not losing progress by that happening. You are just probably more overwhelmed that day than you were the day that you did it.

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It's not a loss of progress. It feels so bad and like so disheartening and so like it feels like it takes all your progress away when you have a panic attack.

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If you haven't had one for a while, especially. But it's just not the case.

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It can feel scary for a few days, maybe a week after you have like especially like a really bad panic attack.

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But it'll go back to normal. Like you will feel the same as you felt before that and you can then continue on with your with your healing and your journey.

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But it's just good to remember that it's a setback is not a loss of progress and progress in general will be slow regardless.

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Like you will always find that like for me, for example, like I found that even though I was going to the supermarket and stuff, like I just felt like I wasn't getting further.

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I felt like I was stuck in the same position for a few months.

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But obviously that's not the case. Like I improved to a point where I could go even further and do more things.

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But it just was so slow that I didn't notice it happening, which is kind of cool.

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It's kind of cool being able to like just like when you realize you can do those things and like it feels easier than it like you ever could have imagined it feeling.

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And then it's consistently easier, you know, like you don't have as many problems doing those things and you will have slightly less problems every time you do do it.

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But it's just going to be really slow. Like I wish I knew that beforehand.

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If I could go back in time, I would have told myself that. But it's just a part of it.

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But just remember, progress is slow, but it's always there.

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As long as you are trying to move forward, you will always make progress, even if it's small.

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Another thing that helped me was recognizing small victories.

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So they actually add up quite a lot and they will add to your progress a lot.

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We tend to ignore them because we want to focus on the big ones.

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Like, for an example, say you go have a lunch with your friends and you it's like the first time you've done that year.

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That is a massive thing and you should be so fucking proud of yourself if you were able to do that. Right.

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Like you're not only outside, but you're with your friends at an unfamiliar place, probably eating food that someone else made.

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That is like 20,000 things in one. That's so good. You should be super proud.

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But we focus on things like that and they happen not as often as smaller things.

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You know, like we had a panic attack today, but after we, you know, after that happened,

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we still went to the shop and bought a few groceries and got ourselves some food to last us the next couple of days or the night.

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We just got out of the house after we felt immobilized by fear and panic.

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You know, that win is equal is like is in my mind is equally as important as the massive win.

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And it will add probably the same amount of progress, which is, again, not that much.

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But it's it's still important to recognize those smaller wins.

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That's a pretty big win, actually. I probably should have made maybe even smaller.

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Like, let's say you do the dishes and you haven't done them in three days. That's a win.

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You should be proud of that is adding to your progress, especially if you're like scared of what's in the sink.

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I know like a lot of people with this phobia do like have problems with dishes and stuff.

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I don't like the sink water, but I'm not like it's not a problem.

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I just don't like the cold, especially when it gets all cold.

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I don't like and I got to put like hot water in it. It's just a pain in the ass.

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But like I know a lot of people have problems with doing that because it's just gross and I can understand that.

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So that's a win. No, it's not a massive win. Of course not. But you should still acknowledge that.

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You should still look in the mirror and look yourself in their eyes and say, I did that.

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I acknowledge what I did. And this is progress. This will help me.

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You know, it feels silly and it's hard to be proud of something that you've done a million times.

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And especially if you've done a million times without problems and now suddenly you do have a problem doing it.

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It can be very hard to like feel good about that and said like it sort of makes you want to blame yourself and just like being like mean to yourself instead and just be like, oh, what a loser.

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Like I'm very guilty of that, but that's fucking not helpful. So don't do that.

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But yeah, like those small victories add up so much.

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And that will sort of segue me into my next thing is journaling, writing down your victories if you don't want to write down how your day was, whatever, just a victory journal.

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Something you write only the positive things that you did that day that you know that are going to add to your progress.

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So I went to the supermarket today and I got this and did whatever. That's progress.

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That's something that is out of your comfort zone. That's not as familiar as your bedroom where you are most comfortable or your house.

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You know, because I know a lot of us, we sort of have this safe bubble around our property, like around our house or our bedroom or wherever.

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And that is like the most certain, the most comfortable spot in the most uncomfortable situation you could be in, which is, you know, this.

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And like we sit there and we sort of isolate and do whatever.

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Like anything you're doing that is outside that bubble is progress.

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And anything you are doing inside that bubble that feels uncomfortable is progress.

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And you need to be or you should. You don't have to. I'm not your dad or anything. You don't have to do what I say.

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But what I do is I like to write those down because it gives me something to look back on.

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It gives me something to look back on and see. Like every time I write it, if I'm having a bad day and I've only got one win for that day,

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I open that book and I'll see two days ago I did four things. I'm like, damn, like I'm doing good.

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And I've only done one thing today, but that's OK. I deserve a break. And that one is still one. It's better than zero.

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You should always try to have a small victory every day. And you do. You probably do.

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I can't imagine a situation where you don't have at least one small, maybe tiny victory every single day.

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But I would recommend writing those down. It's good to look back on and it helps you sort of realize what you are doing for yourself.

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They all add up. But yeah, so more of a rambley episode today, I'd say. But I hope anyone listening found some value in it.

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Yeah, if you'd like to leave a review rating like whatever your app tells you to do, I guess.

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If you want to, that'd be awesome. You can find my socials underneath.

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And if anyone would like to come on, I am looking for someone to come on and maybe share some things about their story with a metafobia,

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some advice for other people, just have a chat sort of thing. If you'd like to do that, feel free to hit me up.

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If not, that's cool. So until then, I will see you next time.