WEBVTT 00:00:02.379 --> 00:00:07.740 before time had a name there was a garden a place 00:00:07.740 --> 00:00:13.419 where heaven and earth walked as one this is 00:00:13.419 --> 00:00:17.780 the echoes of eden where we rediscover ancient 00:00:17.780 --> 00:00:27.760 roots and awaken to our eternal purpose all right 00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:32.219 guys so we are back And I am joined again by 00:00:32.219 --> 00:00:34.719 or with my friend Ray. Ray would you like to 00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:38.560 say hello to everybody? Hello everybody. And 00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:42.939 this week we are talking about being present 00:00:42.939 --> 00:00:46.780 in a digital age. And I chose you for this because 00:00:46.780 --> 00:00:53.840 you've got three teenagers and a young one. Obviously, 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:56.100 I've seen the three teenagers. They are glued 00:00:56.100 --> 00:01:01.250 to a cell phone. and the little one is also which 00:01:01.250 --> 00:01:08.930 you know my oldest daughter is more so um she 00:01:08.930 --> 00:01:11.390 has her little play phone just one of an old 00:01:11.390 --> 00:01:14.590 phones that we have it's the last one i got that 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:17.829 she can play with and text friends with she broke 00:01:17.829 --> 00:01:19.989 her last one and she's like i need a new phone 00:01:19.989 --> 00:01:22.230 i said you're 10 you're not getting a new phone 00:01:22.230 --> 00:01:31.700 right yeah i went through that um but I Know 00:01:31.700 --> 00:01:35.760 I Know they're going to grow up in this technology 00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:39.480 more world more so than even I did and you did 00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:46.420 we're already seeing the whole AI stuff and To 00:01:46.420 --> 00:01:48.579 the point people don't even know if you gotta 00:01:48.579 --> 00:01:51.480 really pay attention to a video to see is this 00:01:51.480 --> 00:02:10.039 AI or is this not Yeah, you've got to really 00:02:10.039 --> 00:02:14.620 think about it So I know they're going to grow 00:02:14.620 --> 00:02:20.620 up with this and I I guess for me you you want 00:02:20.620 --> 00:02:23.379 them to know how to use it properly and how to 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:27.840 All this kind of this does that that part do 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:29.740 you want to let them know how to use stuff properly 00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:33.580 and? Correctly because you know us working immediately 00:02:33.580 --> 00:02:36.240 with the church. You know me technology can be 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:41.180 used for good the good side It's like I heard 00:02:41.180 --> 00:02:44.360 somebody say Technology is not good or bad. It's 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:47.300 all in about the hands that it's in that's where 00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:53.819 it comes down to But One of the things that stuck 00:02:53.819 --> 00:02:56.250 with me And you've kind of been challenging me 00:02:56.250 --> 00:02:57.969 as a dad, and I've never told you this before, 00:02:58.550 --> 00:03:00.849 but it's knowing that you and your family, y 00:03:00.849 --> 00:03:03.449 'all set a time to do Bible study as a family. 00:03:04.530 --> 00:03:07.030 And not just that, but I know we've joked about 00:03:07.030 --> 00:03:09.509 this. You have the ability to cut your Wi -Fi 00:03:09.509 --> 00:03:14.189 on and off. Yes. And that phone service. I'm 00:03:14.189 --> 00:03:17.550 blessed with that. I truly am. Because even her 00:03:17.550 --> 00:03:20.650 parents, we talked about it. And they're like, 00:03:20.729 --> 00:03:33.819 well, we got it. So you don't have phone service 00:03:33.819 --> 00:03:40.780 so they can use phone Wi -Fi Okay, okay that 00:03:40.780 --> 00:03:43.639 makes sense and that I would have to agree that 00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:47.500 would probably be a blessing I could see blessing 00:03:47.500 --> 00:03:49.259 and a curse but having teenagers and be able 00:03:49.259 --> 00:03:52.259 to shut that off and forcing them to do something 00:03:52.259 --> 00:03:59.020 different. I could see that. But that to me is 00:03:59.020 --> 00:04:02.520 a big deal because y 'all are living in that 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:05.919 world of having the kids with the technology 00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:08.819 right now. I'm not there yet other than my oldest 00:04:08.819 --> 00:04:11.439 daughter. I don't have to worry about all this. 00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.219 But y 'all do, y 'all got two teenage boys, teenage 00:04:15.219 --> 00:04:18.279 daughter, got a younger daughter who used... 00:04:18.540 --> 00:04:21.079 Said is following in those footsteps, of course 00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:29.360 Recently I think in the past two years she's 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:35.199 been introduced more to social media, but Everything 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:41.560 Control with passwords we have access to passwords 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:46.300 they can't change them without us and their social 00:04:46.300 --> 00:04:48.579 media accounts are linked to ours so at any time 00:04:48.579 --> 00:04:50.300 we can go on theirs and see what they're doing 00:04:50.300 --> 00:04:53.040 not so much as a control factor but just to be 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:56.699 able to see what they're into. Now do you get 00:04:56.699 --> 00:05:01.620 any kind of attitude ever with that? Not generally, 00:05:01.779 --> 00:05:05.439 only time it ever come with an attitude was when 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:07.480 generally it come with a punishment we were taking 00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:11.699 our phones. But as far as like they knew the 00:05:11.699 --> 00:05:14.420 rule when we bought the phones we own it we paid 00:05:14.420 --> 00:05:17.949 for it. you're using it you're in our house just 00:05:17.949 --> 00:05:22.230 like we battled it with school it's a property 00:05:22.230 --> 00:05:25.449 that we put on our child the same as jackets 00:05:25.449 --> 00:05:29.649 shoes we give it to them for them to have for 00:05:29.649 --> 00:05:35.029 our reasons it's not to be removed so they know 00:05:35.029 --> 00:05:38.329 when we say we want to phone unlock it hand it 00:05:38.329 --> 00:05:41.600 to us they do and anytime we can't unlock it 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:43.360 with the password and they've changed it, they 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:45.079 tend to know they're in trouble for that one. 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:47.740 As long as they hand it over right away, like 00:05:47.740 --> 00:05:49.519 they tell us, it's not a big deal. Like, okay, 00:05:49.579 --> 00:05:51.860 you changed it because one of your friends seen 00:05:51.860 --> 00:05:54.480 you put your password in at school, understandably, 00:05:54.500 --> 00:05:57.199 you just didn't tell us. No big deal, you unlocked 00:05:57.199 --> 00:05:58.939 your phone right away, you didn't argue with 00:05:58.939 --> 00:06:02.759 us about it. Yeah, that makes sense. Cause not 00:06:02.759 --> 00:06:06.939 everybody can be trusted with. We did battle. 00:06:11.509 --> 00:06:14.910 the Not supposed to see things the exploring 00:06:14.910 --> 00:06:17.329 phase with our kids especially You know when 00:06:17.329 --> 00:06:19.170 you're asleep because you have work next day 00:06:19.170 --> 00:06:20.769 and they're up and they're on phones And you 00:06:20.769 --> 00:06:22.709 know, they are this back before we could control 00:06:22.709 --> 00:06:30.069 the Wi -Fi Those conversations always just Got 00:06:30.069 --> 00:06:32.790 interesting as far as like you don't want to 00:06:32.790 --> 00:06:42.660 fuss them, you know Thankfully, both of them, 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:47.040 we was calm about it. You know, of course, mama 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:49.420 was hostile. Took her a minute to calm down, 00:06:49.500 --> 00:06:52.040 but once the conversation was had and the explanation 00:06:52.040 --> 00:06:55.360 and the understanding got across, they realized, 00:06:55.879 --> 00:06:58.000 don't go there. That's not somewhere I should 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:01.220 be. Right. They haven't really had much issues 00:07:01.220 --> 00:07:06.399 with that since. So, to pry a little bit, did 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:09.740 they come to you? Well, they were caught. They 00:07:09.740 --> 00:07:11.019 were caught. Well, yeah, they were walked in 00:07:11.019 --> 00:07:13.339 on caught. Okay. And they couldn't have the phone 00:07:13.339 --> 00:07:15.139 fast enough. They couldn't, you know, they couldn't 00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:18.639 get rid of nothing. But this was, this was actually 00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:22.339 back in not full -on phone service times. These 00:07:22.339 --> 00:07:24.579 were back use phones just running off of Wi -Fi. 00:07:24.759 --> 00:07:27.779 Yeah. That's when all this happened. Wow. And 00:07:27.779 --> 00:07:32.040 honestly, you know it had to be from friends 00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:35.560 of school. Probably. Because it wasn't at home. 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:37.920 They didn't see us on our phones with nothing 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:42.639 like that. So it was somebody found it or someone's 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:44.680 cousin shared it with them and they shared it 00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:46.519 with them, like took this website out or you 00:07:46.519 --> 00:07:49.779 could see whatever. That's what I assumed happened. 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:56.120 So you made a good point, especially with teenagers, 00:07:56.220 --> 00:08:01.379 you can't stop them. No. How do you say that? 00:08:01.660 --> 00:08:03.759 Exploring. They're going to be exposed to this. 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:06.600 2025, with everything out there right now, they're 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.939 going to be exposed. But the important part goes 00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:12.220 back to having the ability to have the conversation. 00:08:13.259 --> 00:08:16.259 To say, hey, you know, in this instance, we caught 00:08:16.259 --> 00:08:20.819 you. Let's talk about this. And that's an important 00:08:20.819 --> 00:08:24.500 part of it. Yeah, you go for, you know, it's 00:08:24.500 --> 00:08:27.000 hard to tell somebody not to do something without 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:30.139 just to find a reason. So the same with your 00:08:30.139 --> 00:08:36.279 kids when it comes to learning technology. Why 00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:38.500 you don't do certain things and then you gotta 00:08:38.500 --> 00:08:41.879 show reason for it. You don't go to certain websites 00:08:41.879 --> 00:08:44.299 just because your friend told you to because 00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:47.220 you wipe out a whole computer. You can get a 00:08:47.220 --> 00:08:49.720 virus on it quickly and then you have no computer 00:08:49.720 --> 00:08:53.159 left. Or they can get important information that 00:08:53.159 --> 00:08:54.820 your parents didn't want nobody to have. And 00:08:54.820 --> 00:08:56.840 same thing true with the phones. I mean, phones 00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.440 are basically a small computer. That's what that 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:04.960 is. So once those conversations went through 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:10.320 and staying calm with it helped a lot, you know, 00:09:10.419 --> 00:09:13.480 because when you're irate and mad, you can't 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:15.059 get a child listening. They're just more worried 00:09:15.059 --> 00:09:17.679 about the fact they're in fear because you're 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:22.649 upset. Yeah. We always found it better to give 00:09:22.649 --> 00:09:25.590 it time and then go back and you know talk again 00:09:25.590 --> 00:09:29.049 like You can't help but let them know you're 00:09:29.049 --> 00:09:30.750 disappointed at the point time you found them 00:09:30.750 --> 00:09:34.230 doing whatever they shouldn't be yeah, but to 00:09:34.230 --> 00:09:37.629 Look don't do this no more. I don't ever see 00:09:37.629 --> 00:09:39.169 that again, or you're not gonna have your phones 00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:43.929 no more then walk away Take time calm down like 00:09:43.929 --> 00:09:47.080 me and her we'll talk about it Then later on 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:49.019 several hours later like they're gonna come in 00:09:49.019 --> 00:09:52.159 here. Let's let's explain this why this was wrong 00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:55.460 Why we lost our temper a little bit and you'll 00:09:55.460 --> 00:09:57.620 have an understanding and shouldn't ever be a 00:09:57.620 --> 00:10:01.340 problem. Thankfully. It's not yeah now Of course, 00:10:01.559 --> 00:10:04.279 they're older now if they hid it from us. They've 00:10:04.279 --> 00:10:07.879 just learned to hide it. Yeah, but They they 00:10:07.879 --> 00:10:10.779 know they know right from wrong. They know they 00:10:10.779 --> 00:10:16.559 shouldn't be yeah I can't stand on top of them 00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:19.120 like that. And I've talked to my wife about it. 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:23.840 I used to sneak around in the house at night 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:25.279 when they're talking a good bit because it was 00:10:25.279 --> 00:10:27.559 9 o 'clock bedtime. You wouldn't understand. 00:10:27.899 --> 00:10:30.000 Stand in the kitchen, get a drink of water, stand 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:31.799 there quietly. You could tell somebody was up. 00:10:32.059 --> 00:10:33.860 You hear them talking. You hear them giggling. 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:36.200 You could peek around the corner, look in the 00:10:36.200 --> 00:10:38.779 room. You'd see the light off the phone. You 00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:41.679 always found a way to call them. And generally, 00:10:41.700 --> 00:10:43.580 if I wanted to catch them, it wasn't that hard. 00:10:43.769 --> 00:10:47.789 They always did. Eventually just come to the 00:10:47.789 --> 00:10:53.350 point of. You're going to do it when you're told 00:10:53.350 --> 00:10:57.570 not to. Then you're going to learn the hard way 00:10:57.570 --> 00:11:00.870 and it took several months down struggling of 00:11:00.870 --> 00:11:02.909 a morning because I'm waking up earlier for school. 00:11:04.350 --> 00:11:06.549 If I know they were up, I was waking up early. 00:11:07.590 --> 00:11:10.750 Yeah. Eventually will be tired enough. You won't 00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:14.330 step on phone. You go bed. Yeah. And now they've 00:11:14.330 --> 00:11:17.149 gotten to that, they realize it. Eventually I'll 00:11:17.149 --> 00:11:19.549 learn to say no to it because it'll keep me up 00:11:19.549 --> 00:11:21.529 all night and I'm gonna pay dearly for it tomorrow, 00:11:21.730 --> 00:11:25.230 not the phone. Yep, that's a good point. Just 00:11:25.230 --> 00:11:28.070 had to let them learn it. It's a very good point. 00:11:30.029 --> 00:11:33.110 So, okay, so let's circle back to the Bible study 00:11:33.110 --> 00:11:36.190 thing that you guys knew as a family. Do you 00:11:36.190 --> 00:11:38.309 allow them to have their phones during that time? 00:11:40.549 --> 00:11:43.029 Yeah, we don't take it from because I know we 00:11:43.029 --> 00:11:44.950 keep the app on our phone for our Bibles and 00:11:44.950 --> 00:11:47.769 generally notes on our phones Okay, that makes 00:11:47.769 --> 00:11:51.110 sense Crystal likes to write in a notebook Ray 00:11:51.110 --> 00:11:54.529 likes to write things down in a notebook I'll 00:11:54.529 --> 00:11:58.009 write notes in mine. I like a phone. Just to 00:11:58.009 --> 00:12:00.710 me it's faster typing. I keep everything organized 00:12:00.710 --> 00:12:03.509 better. I'm horrible at that anyway. Are there 00:12:03.509 --> 00:12:07.269 any... I know that feeling too Are there any 00:12:07.269 --> 00:12:10.129 rules as far as the phones during the Bible study? 00:12:10.429 --> 00:12:12.610 They're not supposed to be on social media during 00:12:12.610 --> 00:12:14.909 the Bible study. Of course we've caught them. 00:12:15.509 --> 00:12:19.250 They get interrupted distractions. That's a very 00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:22.450 real thing, the distractions sink in. Always 00:12:22.450 --> 00:12:26.029 something tries to distract. It happens. We just 00:12:26.029 --> 00:12:27.950 have to kind of bounce off of it and keep going. 00:12:29.029 --> 00:12:31.990 So that's one of the things trying to engage. 00:12:33.289 --> 00:12:37.549 our kids, even spouses at times, our wives, without 00:12:37.549 --> 00:12:40.889 distractions. And this day and age is not an 00:12:40.889 --> 00:12:44.649 easy task to overcome. That's why I was kind 00:12:44.649 --> 00:12:46.769 of curious to see whether he rules as far as 00:12:46.769 --> 00:12:49.269 Bible study that they can't, because I'm the 00:12:49.269 --> 00:12:55.269 one, even on Sundays and stuff, you know, get 00:12:55.269 --> 00:12:58.389 your Bible out. I don't carry a Bible with me. 00:12:58.470 --> 00:13:00.610 Well, it's in my bag, but I don't get it out. 00:13:00.750 --> 00:13:03.809 My Bible was on my phone. I got every translation 00:13:03.809 --> 00:13:06.950 I want. I got access to all that. And then, you 00:13:06.950 --> 00:13:09.129 know, when it comes to taking notes, I like taking 00:13:09.129 --> 00:13:11.889 notes on my phone. Biggest reason for that for 00:13:11.889 --> 00:13:15.789 me is because I do have a lot of notebooks at 00:13:15.789 --> 00:13:19.350 home and I have tried like different notebooks 00:13:19.350 --> 00:13:22.509 for different things, ideas and whatever, but 00:13:22.509 --> 00:13:25.230 I guess I just haven't stuck with it long enough 00:13:25.230 --> 00:13:27.549 to make it work. So one thing I like about my 00:13:27.549 --> 00:13:30.909 phone is I can search my notes quicker and find 00:13:30.909 --> 00:13:33.860 where I typed in something, and that is easier 00:13:33.860 --> 00:13:36.679 for me than having to go back and flip through 00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:39.000 papers and all this kind of stuff. I got horrible 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:41.179 writing, so it's way easier for me to write out. 00:13:41.399 --> 00:13:43.600 You can make out what I put on the phone way 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:46.580 better than what I did on paper. See? And it 00:13:46.580 --> 00:13:49.139 depends for me, like if I'm taking my time writing, 00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:51.720 you can read, but if I start going fast... You're 00:13:51.720 --> 00:13:53.899 jotting stuff down real quick. There's times 00:13:53.899 --> 00:13:55.759 I go back and I'm like, what did I write? What 00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:59.460 was I trying to say here? I can make out some 00:13:59.460 --> 00:14:01.399 of this, but that looks like a foreign language 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:05.360 to me. I have done that, really. Yeah, that's 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:08.700 why I prefer just to type it in the phone. It's 00:14:08.700 --> 00:14:10.799 so much faster. And honestly, it's quieter. You're 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:11.940 back there trying to write something down. You 00:14:11.940 --> 00:14:14.740 got rustling paper and stuff. Yeah. Just type 00:14:14.740 --> 00:14:17.000 it in on the phone, be done. Be done with it. 00:14:18.019 --> 00:14:21.679 I don't believe that there are benefits to technology. 00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:23.940 And you know, social media is saying keep it 00:14:23.940 --> 00:14:28.860 up with family, but also realize that... Video 00:14:28.860 --> 00:14:33.279 calling people is amazing. When you get a distant 00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:36.460 family, you can video call, you can have face 00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:38.700 -to -face conversations and see things that you 00:14:38.700 --> 00:14:42.059 couldn't do unless you made that trip. But it 00:14:42.059 --> 00:14:45.740 also can play into a lazy factor, which I've 00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:49.059 caught myself in. My parents' live is 13 miles 00:14:49.059 --> 00:14:53.080 exactly from my house. But I have come to the 00:14:53.080 --> 00:14:57.129 point it did. A 20 to 30 minute video call with 00:14:57.129 --> 00:15:01.309 my parents is a lot simpler than an hour and 00:15:01.309 --> 00:15:05.389 a half, two hour visit. The fuel, the drive, 00:15:06.009 --> 00:15:10.110 then the time, then back home. I can sit down 00:15:10.110 --> 00:15:13.230 in the comfort and talk to my parents face to 00:15:13.230 --> 00:15:15.529 face, but it's not the same because you're not 00:15:15.529 --> 00:15:18.889 present with them. True. So some of the good 00:15:18.889 --> 00:15:23.620 things are not always good. I think it... I think 00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:25.940 it takes it a step further at least to where 00:15:25.940 --> 00:15:29.720 okay so let's we'll take text messages for example 00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.200 well when I'm just reading a text from you I 00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:36.379 don't know your tone I don't know your emotion 00:15:36.379 --> 00:15:38.740 in it you know because I can be very sarcastic 00:15:38.740 --> 00:15:41.080 at times well sarcasm in a text doesn't come 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:44.179 out the same as if I'm in person being sarcastic 00:15:45.819 --> 00:15:48.019 It's the same thing if you go to the next phase 00:15:48.019 --> 00:15:49.879 if you're just talking on the phone I can't see 00:15:49.879 --> 00:15:52.059 your facial expressions. I can't see your body 00:15:52.059 --> 00:15:54.860 language So the one benefit I would go back to 00:15:54.860 --> 00:15:58.259 what you said about the video is I can at least 00:15:58.259 --> 00:16:02.320 see your facial expressions Kind of get a little 00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:04.340 bit it gives more context to what you're saying 00:16:04.340 --> 00:16:17.519 and you know That that makes any sense It can 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:20.120 be misconstrued and used in a lot of bad ways 00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:25.259 too. My dad told me a long time ago when it comes 00:16:25.259 --> 00:16:28.500 to kids, kids are like spinning tops. Once you 00:16:28.500 --> 00:16:30.740 set them on the table and set them spinning, 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:37.019 their direction is kind of all over the place. 00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:40.799 You can't force them in a direction. no matter 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:43.600 how hard you try to blow the top in that direction, 00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:45.820 it ain't going to go, but it's kind of the way 00:16:45.820 --> 00:16:47.919 it's wanting to go. The way it's spinning, the 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:50.159 momentum of it, the only thing you can do is 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:51.820 set up obstacles for when they bounce off of 00:16:51.820 --> 00:16:54.519 them. So when it comes to introducing our kids 00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:57.080 to technology, which I stood against, my wife 00:16:57.080 --> 00:17:00.340 pushed more because of their age. And I understand 00:17:00.340 --> 00:17:02.840 her reasoning behind it, because she wanted to 00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:04.940 learn more about them from their interests, what 00:17:04.940 --> 00:17:07.259 they liked, what they didn't. I can see that, 00:17:07.259 --> 00:17:14.019 yeah. Also, when it comes to, okay, this is an 00:17:14.019 --> 00:17:16.119 obstacle you bounced off of, how do we react 00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:18.799 and reset your direction to put you back on the 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:23.259 right course? Every situation can be different. 00:17:25.059 --> 00:17:29.000 And learning from them, sometimes the punishment 00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:32.240 is a bad one and it ends up in an argument and 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:34.380 a disagreement and they're mad at us for several 00:17:34.380 --> 00:17:38.589 days or mad at them for several days. You learn 00:17:38.589 --> 00:17:43.690 from those. Screaming and hollering didn't get 00:17:43.690 --> 00:17:45.930 nothing accomplished. We're just all mad at each 00:17:45.930 --> 00:17:49.230 other. Next time they mess up, let's stop for 00:17:49.230 --> 00:17:51.890 a minute and maybe try to have a one -on -one 00:17:51.890 --> 00:17:54.210 conversation with them alone. Maybe one parent 00:17:54.210 --> 00:17:57.750 go in and talk to them about it. Maybe someone 00:17:57.750 --> 00:18:01.990 they're not as mad at at the time. Makes sense. 00:18:02.349 --> 00:18:04.150 You've got to just, you know, punishments. We 00:18:04.150 --> 00:18:07.240 realized when they were younger. Time now didn't 00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:11.880 work for everything. No Losing something like 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.720 fun like a video game or you know been stuck 00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:18.259 to your room for a day or so Everything had to 00:18:18.259 --> 00:18:20.160 be different. It couldn't always be the same 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.980 because it didn't always work. So true Yeah, 00:18:22.980 --> 00:18:25.039 because you know you take something away from 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:26.660 somebody for so long. They're eventually just 00:18:26.660 --> 00:18:29.259 not gonna want it They're not gonna let it be 00:18:29.259 --> 00:18:34.079 that Like hurt and you took took my favorite 00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:36.900 RC car, but now I can play with it, so eventually 00:18:36.900 --> 00:18:41.519 I won't play with it. Yes. That's like when Kayla, 00:18:41.619 --> 00:18:43.680 she broke her phone, so she went without her 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:46.380 phone for a couple of weeks. And then when she 00:18:46.380 --> 00:18:49.380 had her phone back, she had an attitude or something, 00:18:50.480 --> 00:18:52.359 and of course Amanda said, you know, you lost 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:55.279 your phone. And Kayla's remark was that, well, 00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:56.920 I went without it for two weeks, it'd be okay. 00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:04.230 I'm like. Yeah, okay, so that doesn't work change 00:19:04.230 --> 00:19:12.349 them, but It's just It is like we had a conversation 00:19:12.349 --> 00:19:20.170 I just want to go home and What the youth service 00:19:20.170 --> 00:19:23.369 tonight crystals like no, you know, I'm not gonna 00:19:23.369 --> 00:19:25.859 let her just What way is my job to make sure 00:19:25.859 --> 00:19:28.440 she's here? Yeah, and I'm like, wait a minute 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:31.599 She's growing. She's 16. She's getting ready 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:34.579 to be driving You know, I don't expect her to 00:19:34.579 --> 00:19:36.259 come home every day from school. She's not gonna 00:19:36.259 --> 00:19:38.660 get in the car and drive straight home She's 00:19:38.660 --> 00:19:40.160 gonna go different place. Well, hey, I'm gonna 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.220 go to Walmart or she gonna run to McDonald's. 00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:44.599 Whatever. Yeah, I don't expect her to come home 00:19:44.599 --> 00:19:48.200 every day Just like last week. She had to spend 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:50.420 the night during the week at a friend's house 00:19:50.420 --> 00:19:53.640 Yeah, go ahead My wife's like, why let her do 00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:56.619 it? It's school week. She's getting ready to 00:19:56.619 --> 00:19:57.720 start driving. She's getting ready to become 00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:59.819 an adult. You've got to let them have some freedom 00:19:59.819 --> 00:20:03.279 now in order to make mistakes to learn from them. 00:20:03.420 --> 00:20:05.220 True, especially while they're under your care 00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:07.619 still. That makes sense. And if you don't let 00:20:07.619 --> 00:20:09.859 them get out and explore... This is the time 00:20:09.859 --> 00:20:12.099 you want them to make mistakes because you're 00:20:12.099 --> 00:20:16.039 there to help guide them. She was like, well, 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:19.029 you know... God wants her in church. We're supposed 00:20:19.029 --> 00:20:20.789 to keep her in church. And I'm like, yes, but 00:20:20.789 --> 00:20:23.029 we can't tear our relationship apart with her 00:20:23.029 --> 00:20:25.170 by constantly making her mad by not letting her 00:20:25.170 --> 00:20:29.849 grow. So if she makes this choice, it's not a 00:20:29.849 --> 00:20:32.910 choice we want her to make. But if we stand and 00:20:32.910 --> 00:20:36.210 be like on top of her and try to be controller, 00:20:37.069 --> 00:20:39.089 she's just eventually when she does realize she's 00:20:39.089 --> 00:20:43.490 got freedom, she won't run. Yeah. I can see both 00:20:43.490 --> 00:20:48.170 sides on that. I do too. I want her to come to 00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:50.990 these. I want her to be as much involved in this 00:20:50.990 --> 00:20:54.730 church as she can. But the more we try to push 00:20:54.730 --> 00:21:00.329 it, the more she fights back. When instead I 00:21:00.329 --> 00:21:01.970 believe there will come a point where this is 00:21:01.970 --> 00:21:08.349 where they'll want to be. If we, as the parents, 00:21:08.410 --> 00:21:11.289 leaders in my position as a youth pastor, if 00:21:11.289 --> 00:21:13.329 we will take the time and create the culture. 00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:19.190 of this is where they want to be. And I've seen 00:21:19.190 --> 00:21:21.670 that with a couple different youth groups that 00:21:21.670 --> 00:21:24.690 I watch from afar, one specifically down in Alabama, 00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:29.049 where that's where their youth wants to be. They're 00:21:29.049 --> 00:21:31.750 asking the parents during the week, hey, we're 00:21:31.750 --> 00:21:34.809 gonna go down to the church and pray. And that's 00:21:34.809 --> 00:21:39.849 not something you hear as teenagers do. We were 00:21:39.849 --> 00:21:41.210 watching the show, and I might have mentioned 00:21:41.210 --> 00:21:43.049 this last time, I don't remember, about parents 00:21:43.049 --> 00:21:46.450 and different types of parenting. And one of 00:21:46.450 --> 00:21:50.170 them was super controlled, super strict, limited 00:21:50.170 --> 00:21:53.849 everything. Like they had an hour for this study, 00:21:53.990 --> 00:21:57.190 an hour for time outside, an hour for learning 00:21:57.190 --> 00:22:00.890 this. They'd write back to schoolwork, all homeschooled. 00:22:00.890 --> 00:22:03.089 When it come to technology, their time was limited 00:22:03.089 --> 00:22:06.609 to an hour. So when they agreed to this program 00:22:06.609 --> 00:22:10.259 with... I think it was like 14 other parents. 00:22:11.380 --> 00:22:13.339 And they all had different parenting styles. 00:22:14.380 --> 00:22:17.680 They gave the kids a free day. You have a free 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:20.359 day to do whatever you want without parent restrictions. 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:24.079 And generally the ones that were controlled went 00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:27.839 wild. It's like they got a taste of just freedom 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:30.579 and they had to explore every bit of it they 00:22:30.579 --> 00:22:33.240 could find. Compared to the kids that had more 00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:36.660 relaxed home, not so controlled, well to them 00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:41.819 nothing changed. nothing was completely out of 00:22:41.819 --> 00:22:43.519 the question for them, so there was nothing they 00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:49.259 hadn't already learned from. Technology, once 00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:51.299 I give in and I let them have the phones and 00:22:51.299 --> 00:22:54.440 I realized, okay, social media's got my wife 00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.200 on it, they're watching it, she's on top of what 00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:59.180 they post, she's on top of who they talk to, 00:22:59.180 --> 00:23:01.779 who their friends are, I don't have to deal with 00:23:01.779 --> 00:23:06.319 that part. I'm more, when they get in trouble, 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:10.039 bring them to me. I'm the judge in it, and I'll 00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:14.259 dish out what punishment's seen. She is more 00:23:14.259 --> 00:23:18.680 the watchful eye. And her perspective on things 00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:22.019 is not the same as mine, but I trust her judgment, 00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:26.240 so we don't have conflict with it. It works out 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:29.160 great. And the kids, they seem to have become 00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:31.940 comfortable with it. They know boundaries, they 00:23:31.940 --> 00:23:35.180 know time limits. Dinner time generally, you're 00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:36.759 not supposed to be on your phone. We all eat 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:39.680 together. We might sit in different rooms, like 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.240 she might sit in the living room. I might be 00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:45.240 on the kitchen table. Wherever you sit comfortably, 00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:48.059 because with her back messed up now. Completely 00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:51.539 understand that. Yeah. But it's gotten a lot 00:23:51.539 --> 00:23:55.599 more relaxed since they've grown with them. In 00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:57.279 the beginning, it was a lot more stressful. Hearing 00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:59.420 you talk reminds me of what you said about what 00:23:59.420 --> 00:24:00.880 your dad taught you about the whole spinning 00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:04.000 thing. you know they're going to spend everywhere 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:09.359 kind of our job is to give the boundary so you 00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:12.299 don't run off the cliff so you can hit this and 00:24:12.299 --> 00:24:14.700 bounce back over here if you need to that's kind 00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:17.180 of when i'm hearing you talk that's what i'm 00:24:17.180 --> 00:24:19.240 hearing is yeah that's that's kind of the way 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:22.299 i grew up and relaxed parenting is just not it's 00:24:22.299 --> 00:24:25.180 not not parenting it's just i'm not going to 00:24:25.180 --> 00:24:28.420 control you to the point that you can't become 00:24:28.420 --> 00:24:32.119 who you exactly And then when you do taste, like 00:24:32.119 --> 00:24:33.819 you say, when you taste freedom and you just 00:24:33.819 --> 00:24:36.519 go completely wild and actually run off the cliff. 00:24:37.579 --> 00:24:39.279 Or if I just let you get close and look down 00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:41.440 at it, and then I can push you back the other 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.720 way. Yeah, you can guide them. But if you just 00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:48.779 go off the wall with them and you lose your temper, 00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:51.579 they're not getting nothing. They're not learning 00:24:51.579 --> 00:24:53.960 nothing. They're just learning to fear you because 00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:57.420 they did something to make you mad. Yeah. That's 00:24:57.420 --> 00:25:02.599 big right there. It is I've tried to always tell 00:25:02.599 --> 00:25:05.640 us I was really strict especially with sons. 00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:09.019 I don't know why Not so much with daughters men 00:25:09.019 --> 00:25:11.259 tend to be more relaxed with daughters You'll 00:25:11.259 --> 00:25:14.759 feel it a couple years when he's starting school. 00:25:14.759 --> 00:25:17.980 That's generally when who they are comes into 00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:26.720 play attitudes and all I got a six -year -old 00:25:29.199 --> 00:25:32.140 that Crystal's cousin, it's his little boy, going 00:25:32.140 --> 00:25:36.400 to school. And he's learning to tell the teacher 00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:41.079 what he really thinks of her. And you know, as 00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:44.519 a parent, he's kind of okay. Yes, I'm mad at 00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:47.259 what he said, but I want to know as a father, 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.619 why he's saying it. Why does he have this opinion 00:25:49.619 --> 00:25:52.460 towards the teacher? And me as an outsider, when 00:25:52.460 --> 00:25:56.859 he talks to me about it, I'm kind of like, he's... 00:25:56.599 --> 00:25:58.819 He's what you want in your children. You want 00:25:58.819 --> 00:26:04.740 your child to be bold and not fearful. Yeah What 00:26:04.740 --> 00:26:07.220 comes across their mind right or wrong because 00:26:07.220 --> 00:26:11.240 that means that they're not afraid and you don't 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.319 want a child afraid so I Love even though I know 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:18.400 he didn't control. Yeah, but he's been 100 % 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:22.460 honest with what he says. Yeah And when he tells 00:26:22.460 --> 00:26:24.299 me it's kind of hard not to laugh and sigh and 00:26:24.299 --> 00:26:26.480 be like, well, I mean, he's honest. He's not 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:29.019 wrong. What he feels about him. You don't have 00:26:29.019 --> 00:26:31.339 to worry about where you stand. Yeah. You know 00:26:31.339 --> 00:26:35.619 exactly where you stand. That's so true. I love 00:26:35.619 --> 00:26:37.920 hearing when they talk. But, you know, it goes 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.500 back to something you said a while ago about 00:26:41.500 --> 00:26:47.000 you don't want them afraid of you. When you said 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:49.740 that, you can take that into the spiritual world 00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:53.240 too. God doesn't want you to be afraid of him. 00:26:53.880 --> 00:26:55.880 We have the fear of God, but that's not like 00:26:55.880 --> 00:26:58.859 a fear as in, it's the same kind of fear that 00:26:58.859 --> 00:27:03.480 we want as parents. Don't be afraid to come to 00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:09.140 me. The fear to me is more of a respect type 00:27:09.140 --> 00:27:13.299 of just respect. In my relationship, I'm your 00:27:13.299 --> 00:27:17.640 dad. Same way with your teenagers and the scholars 00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:23.579 younger You're their dad so respect that position, 00:27:23.579 --> 00:27:29.039 but don't be afraid to come and that's something 00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:30.500 happened we did something Wednesday night with 00:27:30.500 --> 00:27:32.480 the teenagers they may have told you I don't 00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:38.740 know but We had them Walk through a thing about 00:27:38.740 --> 00:27:40.960 trying to one of the things trying to do is teach 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:42.680 them how to hear the Holy Spirit from themselves 00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:46.940 And so I had him go to this exercise and Dale 00:27:46.940 --> 00:27:50.559 was there and he made the statement when he got 00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:52.480 to the door and I said, what do you hear the 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:55.880 Holy Spirit saying? And I had each one of them 00:27:55.880 --> 00:28:00.259 speak up and Dale spoke up and he said, are you 00:28:00.259 --> 00:28:03.720 afraid of me? Or are you afraid or something? 00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:06.599 And I took that as interesting because I think 00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:09.619 he was the first one that gave a question. Other 00:28:09.619 --> 00:28:11.920 people in the room gave a statement that they 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.109 heard. But his was are you afraid then I said 00:28:15.109 --> 00:28:18.089 maybe that's an invitation to you from the Holy 00:28:18.089 --> 00:28:23.170 Spirit to not be afraid I said because if you're 00:28:23.170 --> 00:28:25.210 approaching him and some of this has been taught 00:28:25.210 --> 00:28:26.730 in the church if you're approaching him with 00:28:26.730 --> 00:28:29.789 fear You're not approaching me rightly and if 00:28:29.789 --> 00:28:31.730 you can't see him correctly which is good But 00:28:31.730 --> 00:28:33.609 this goes in a little bit to what I'll be teaching 00:28:33.609 --> 00:28:36.230 tonight if you can't see him rightly you're never 00:28:36.230 --> 00:28:39.789 going to see yourself rightly so we have to learn 00:28:39.789 --> 00:28:44.230 and it's For us as dads were kind of the representation 00:28:44.230 --> 00:28:48.049 of the father because of people nowadays especially 00:28:48.049 --> 00:28:50.710 with teenagers when I'm encountering them When 00:28:50.710 --> 00:28:53.890 you use the phrase of God as a father the first 00:28:53.890 --> 00:28:56.730 image they're going to think of is their dad 00:28:56.730 --> 00:28:59.529 And so you're either going to have the well if 00:28:59.529 --> 00:29:01.710 he's like that I want nothing to do with him 00:29:01.710 --> 00:29:04.789 Or you'll have the one saying well, I had a great 00:29:04.789 --> 00:29:07.809 relationship my dad. So let me Experience, you 00:29:07.809 --> 00:29:10.740 know, you've got to have to In my position you 00:29:10.740 --> 00:29:13.460 have to wrestle some of that because not everybody 00:29:13.460 --> 00:29:16.940 had a good relationship with their dad. Yeah 00:29:16.940 --> 00:29:22.940 some some some had which I know Some but I luckily 00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:25.200 was blessed. I didn't have that relationship 00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:31.900 That was bad with my father He worked a lot When 00:29:31.900 --> 00:29:37.519 he was home with me I was more Like student helper 00:29:38.169 --> 00:29:40.109 Whatever he was doing. I generally was there 00:29:40.109 --> 00:29:44.029 to help. Yeah, and I guess it was curious to 00:29:44.029 --> 00:29:45.869 me because you know, we didn't have a whole lot 00:29:45.869 --> 00:29:47.950 of technology back when I was younger So whatever 00:29:47.950 --> 00:29:50.609 dad done was more interesting than what was going 00:29:50.609 --> 00:29:52.910 on in the house with mom make sense So if he 00:29:52.910 --> 00:29:55.789 was outside messing with a vehicle or you know, 00:29:56.049 --> 00:29:57.490 just cutting down a tree I'd rather be seeing 00:29:57.490 --> 00:29:59.849 that with mom and sweeping the kitchen floor. 00:29:59.950 --> 00:30:02.349 That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense Yeah, 00:30:02.349 --> 00:30:06.309 and once I got older, you know technology come 00:30:06.309 --> 00:30:09.960 into play He wouldn't have a part of it. We got 00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:11.400 a computer in our house for the first time. I 00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:17.440 think I was a teenager. Middle school? He would 00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:20.440 never touch it. Mom did. She went on, learned 00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:24.299 to talk with family, message and stuff. Me, I 00:30:24.299 --> 00:30:28.539 was just into everything. Whatever come across 00:30:28.539 --> 00:30:32.259 my mind, whatever I was told to look up, some 00:30:32.259 --> 00:30:35.500 things I regret, I won't mention on here. You 00:30:35.500 --> 00:30:40.500 just don't want to look up. And you know, I learned 00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:44.640 boundaries quick that way. Which I feel helped 00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:49.960 me learn to communicate better with my children 00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.920 on these boundaries and what to be aware of. 00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:56.180 You know, spam calling is a huge thing. Even 00:30:56.180 --> 00:31:01.400 my youngest gets spam calls. And if it's not 00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:03.779 a number you recognize, you don't answer it. 00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:07.150 Unless you gave your number to a friend. That 00:31:07.150 --> 00:31:09.470 you may not have their number you don't answer 00:31:09.470 --> 00:31:11.390 it and then you got to look at the area code 00:31:11.390 --> 00:31:13.710 don't answer Don't give it no information now 00:31:13.710 --> 00:31:17.529 If they asked you anything other than your name 00:31:17.529 --> 00:31:21.829 hang up they're not for you That's it that's 00:31:21.829 --> 00:31:26.109 crazy the world that we live in with all that 00:31:26.109 --> 00:31:32.029 I'm Maria scripture because I think it ties into 00:31:32.029 --> 00:31:36.660 all of this it's friend of Deuteronomy chapter 00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:39.720 six, and it says, you must commit yourselves 00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:42.119 wholeheartedly to these commands that I'm giving 00:31:42.119 --> 00:31:44.380 you today. Repeat them again and again to your 00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:47.240 children. Talk about them when you're at home 00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:48.779 and when you're on the road, when you're going 00:31:48.779 --> 00:31:50.500 to bed, and when you're getting up. Tie them 00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:52.099 to your hands and wear them on your forehead 00:31:52.099 --> 00:31:54.920 as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of 00:31:54.920 --> 00:32:00.039 your house and on your gates. That to me, reading 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:03.599 that scripture, is what we've been talking about. 00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:10.720 It's having the conversations. Teaching them, 00:32:11.059 --> 00:32:14.339 putting the boundaries up as they're spinning 00:32:14.339 --> 00:32:21.119 and trying to figure out who they are. Go for 00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:35.579 it. very even with my wife because what I used 00:32:35.579 --> 00:32:38.180 to do for a living, seen a lot of it, the dangers 00:32:38.180 --> 00:32:41.680 of people using the phone and driving. And I 00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:45.299 found it easy to point it out to my kids while 00:32:45.299 --> 00:32:47.140 we were driving, even though I'd have to pull 00:32:47.140 --> 00:32:49.240 their attention from the phones or whatever. 00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:51.680 When someone was acting or driving or writing, 00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:54.920 because I could tell the phones up in the window, 00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:57.140 you could see it through the back window, to 00:32:57.140 --> 00:32:59.220 point it out and be like, look, watch how they're 00:32:59.220 --> 00:33:01.400 driving because they're distracted with the phones. 00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:05.259 and you'll see it firsthand for yourself. They're 00:33:05.259 --> 00:33:07.059 driving over in front of people or they're running 00:33:07.059 --> 00:33:12.119 off the road and made them aware of it before 00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:15.039 they actually get behind the wheel. Plus, made 00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:18.359 it a point myself to demonstrate not doing that. 00:33:18.420 --> 00:33:20.720 Not doing it. Don't answer the phone. If text 00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:22.980 goes off, I will. I'll get it when I stop. It's 00:33:22.980 --> 00:33:27.200 not that important. Yep. Because we let ours 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:31.019 the other day, well no. A while back, we led 00:33:31.019 --> 00:33:33.059 on, I think it was for Ray's birthday, riding 00:33:33.059 --> 00:33:36.059 the back of the truck. We led from here and drove 00:33:36.059 --> 00:33:40.259 to Eris, eight miles, in the back of the truck. 00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:44.319 I was nervous enough that I watched four different 00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:47.380 people cross the line in front of me and counted 00:33:47.380 --> 00:33:49.980 it. And I'm like, okay, now I understand. We 00:33:49.980 --> 00:33:52.680 don't do this. And I pointed, I had to show them, 00:33:52.900 --> 00:33:55.000 look, I know you like riding the back truck. 00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:58.339 Y 'all never got to do it. It's fun. But it is 00:33:58.339 --> 00:34:00.670 very dangerous. Four different times people come 00:34:00.670 --> 00:34:02.789 over in front of us that could have hit us. We 00:34:02.789 --> 00:34:04.750 wouldn't be here right now. Especially if you're 00:34:04.750 --> 00:34:07.730 in the back of the truck. Makes sense. Short, 00:34:07.789 --> 00:34:10.110 you know, down to the mailbox stuff if you want 00:34:10.110 --> 00:34:12.610 to ride in that truck. Great. But down main roads? 00:34:12.829 --> 00:34:14.929 No. People can't be trusted. They're too distracted. 00:34:15.130 --> 00:34:21.110 Yeah. And it's not even phones. Yard sales. People 00:34:21.110 --> 00:34:22.750 run off the road looking at yard sales driving 00:34:22.750 --> 00:34:24.909 by because they don't want to stop. Don't want 00:34:24.909 --> 00:34:26.250 to stop but they want to look and see what's 00:34:26.250 --> 00:34:28.610 over there and forget what's going on in front 00:34:28.610 --> 00:34:31.360 of them. That's, that's so true. But back to 00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:33.760 technology, you know, it's grown so much. Your 00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:36.940 cars is full of technology. Your homes are still 00:34:36.940 --> 00:34:38.840 full of technology. Especially the newer vehicles. 00:34:38.840 --> 00:34:41.739 Clients. Yeah. A washing machine to text you 00:34:41.739 --> 00:34:44.760 when it's done. I mean, there's an app that we 00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:46.840 can, I thought it was cool when we first got 00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:48.920 it, but I don't think I've used it not once, 00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:52.639 but that you can put the app on your phone and 00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:54.679 tell it what to do and it'll tell you. And I'm 00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:57.300 like, oh, that's really cool. The only bad thing 00:34:57.300 --> 00:35:00.010 is, is if one of these breaks, how much is that 00:35:00.010 --> 00:35:03.869 going to cost to fix versus you know it's kind 00:35:03.869 --> 00:35:06.349 of like my little car I drive everything's manual 00:35:06.349 --> 00:35:09.730 the windows are manual and I used to when I first 00:35:09.730 --> 00:35:11.349 got it I'm like this is one I only got it because 00:35:11.349 --> 00:35:13.889 I drove a lot at the time yeah like this be perfect 00:35:13.889 --> 00:35:19.090 little car to go drive around I said but dang 00:35:19.090 --> 00:35:20.829 everything's manual and then I got to thinking 00:35:20.829 --> 00:35:22.889 well heck if something breaks on this it's not 00:35:22.889 --> 00:35:25.889 that hard to fix Versus if you got stuff that's 00:35:25.889 --> 00:35:28.289 motorized and everything else that gets more 00:35:28.289 --> 00:35:50.190 expensive to replace and time -consuming And 00:35:50.190 --> 00:35:53.070 to me, I try to avoid things like that. I try 00:35:53.070 --> 00:35:58.710 to avoid what apps is on my phone. Games, you 00:35:58.710 --> 00:36:00.710 know, I have one or two games on my phone that, 00:36:00.710 --> 00:36:02.769 you know, I like giving attention to when I'm 00:36:02.769 --> 00:36:04.489 relaxing in the bed, getting ready to go to sleep. 00:36:04.690 --> 00:36:10.610 Yes, same. Others, you got to be careful and 00:36:10.610 --> 00:36:13.469 mindful of what you're doing with them. Because 00:36:13.469 --> 00:36:16.929 you can get, especially if they got ads. or, 00:36:16.929 --> 00:36:18.869 you know, advertising something. You can get 00:36:18.869 --> 00:36:21.150 caught up in those, too. You know, you're off 00:36:21.150 --> 00:36:24.469 Googling some... Random thing. ...thing that 00:36:24.469 --> 00:36:26.030 come up, and you're like, oh, that's interesting. 00:36:26.170 --> 00:36:29.289 Check that out. Because you know phones watch 00:36:29.289 --> 00:36:31.909 and they listen to you. They'll know if you're 00:36:31.909 --> 00:36:34.769 talking about getting them some special RC car 00:36:34.769 --> 00:36:37.329 or, you know... I'm gonna get on Facebook later 00:36:37.329 --> 00:36:42.980 and there'll be an RC car on my Facebook. That's 00:36:42.980 --> 00:36:45.280 that's so true and it's you know, it's one of 00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:47.059 those things I heard somebody say before and 00:36:47.059 --> 00:36:48.599 it's probably been a couple years ago But there's 00:36:48.599 --> 00:36:50.840 a lot of truth to it about you know You might 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:53.300 jump on social media and just want to spend five 00:36:53.300 --> 00:36:54.920 minutes before you know it you've been on there 00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:59.519 for two hours and you're just scrolling and watching 00:36:59.519 --> 00:37:02.559 videos and especially start watching reels and 00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:06.789 I'm like that's The amount of time that it can 00:37:06.789 --> 00:37:08.989 steal from you if you're not careful. Duck Dynasty 00:37:08.989 --> 00:37:12.510 done a great example of that. When they showed 00:37:12.510 --> 00:37:16.750 Uncle Si YouTube for the first time. I was just 00:37:16.750 --> 00:37:19.889 going to watch one or two videos. Six hours later, 00:37:19.969 --> 00:37:21.289 he was still on YouTube. He was still watching 00:37:21.289 --> 00:37:23.190 YouTube. And found something else different. 00:37:23.210 --> 00:37:24.849 Just kept leading him on. Because that's what 00:37:24.849 --> 00:37:27.730 those algorithms master in. They master getting 00:37:27.730 --> 00:37:30.289 your attention. So if you like this video, then 00:37:30.289 --> 00:37:33.929 we recommend this. And we recommend this. All 00:37:33.929 --> 00:37:37.730 that stuff is used for and we forget that that 00:37:37.730 --> 00:37:45.809 and it's Like lately I've started trying to One 00:37:45.809 --> 00:37:48.510 of the classes I'm taking he the guy talked about 00:37:48.510 --> 00:37:52.110 as far as having a different mindset It's not 00:37:52.110 --> 00:37:55.750 using social media to scroll But finding using 00:37:55.750 --> 00:38:00.199 social media to like the page that we made Using 00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:02.920 it more purposefully and going under to interact. 00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:06.320 So like if you read a couple things If you can 00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:09.400 add value make your comment that that helps get 00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:11.840 people's attention So I've been trying that but 00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:15.280 the other thing has been a schedule post So I 00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:17.840 might take a cut an hour in the evenings and 00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:20.159 build the post out for the entire week Yeah, 00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:23.079 so I don't have to get on social media to make 00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:26.360 my post today. Yeah, it's already going out there 00:38:26.360 --> 00:38:29.070 Yeah, so I said it for like eight o 'clock in 00:38:29.070 --> 00:38:31.670 the morning and it automatically is it and you 00:38:31.670 --> 00:38:33.190 don't have to worry it's on there i don't have 00:38:33.190 --> 00:38:35.670 to worry about anything and that keeps me from 00:38:35.670 --> 00:38:37.869 being distracted the other times as long as i 00:38:37.869 --> 00:38:42.909 sit this time away this is what i'm doing you 00:38:42.909 --> 00:38:45.269 can do that and to me i guess some of it just 00:38:45.269 --> 00:38:48.750 comes down to being intentional with what we're 00:38:48.750 --> 00:38:51.489 doing like just like with how you cut your wife 00:38:51.489 --> 00:38:54.219 off or you're being intentional with what you're 00:38:54.219 --> 00:38:57.360 doing and the purpose behind this. Shutting all 00:38:57.360 --> 00:38:59.940 that down for now. You want to figure out something 00:38:59.940 --> 00:39:04.800 else for this time frame. I think that's a big 00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:07.980 deal. Even with apps, I think it's important 00:39:07.980 --> 00:39:12.780 for us, especially as kingdom people, you know, 00:39:12.780 --> 00:39:16.300 why are we not building something? If we know 00:39:16.300 --> 00:39:17.900 that teenagers are going to be on there, why 00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:20.099 are we not building apps to grab their attention, 00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:26.340 at least teach them the word? instead of whatever 00:39:26.340 --> 00:39:28.900 else they can use on these phones. I heard the 00:39:28.900 --> 00:39:33.539 other day I was listening to something. Might 00:39:33.539 --> 00:39:36.820 have been the radio in the truck. They got to 00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:40.500 talk about how technology has kind of grown so 00:39:40.500 --> 00:39:43.760 vastly that it's plateaued. Yeah. Like they can't 00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:46.199 do technology in too much more. They've got it 00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:50.059 in homes, they've got it in appliances, they've 00:39:50.059 --> 00:39:52.650 got it in your... you know to the point like 00:39:52.650 --> 00:39:56.329 headphones are built into hoodies and stuff like 00:39:56.329 --> 00:40:00.070 this and they got heated hoodies and technology 00:40:00.070 --> 00:40:02.409 what more can you do it's plateau they can't 00:40:02.409 --> 00:40:04.670 really do much more with it so when the next 00:40:04.670 --> 00:40:08.050 thing comes out that one's going to be a game 00:40:08.050 --> 00:40:12.269 changer for technology what it is you know they're 00:40:12.269 --> 00:40:15.309 trying it in flights i know they've got what 00:40:15.309 --> 00:40:19.309 automated flights now for the i think it's like 00:40:19.309 --> 00:40:22.159 six passengers But they were just transporting 00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:24.260 them across property. It wasn't actually flying 00:40:24.260 --> 00:40:29.340 out and about. Yeah. Even that doesn't seem that 00:40:29.340 --> 00:40:32.239 great. If you really think about it. If you really 00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:35.239 think about it, like, okay, you're using a GPS 00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:37.480 and an oversized drone and you're transporting 00:40:37.480 --> 00:40:41.880 people. It can be safer as long as it's meticulously 00:40:41.880 --> 00:40:46.340 maintained. Same as aircraft now. Yeah. But... 00:40:46.409 --> 00:40:48.789 Who's gonna be the one meticulous maintaining 00:40:48.789 --> 00:40:50.849 it and then who's gonna regulate it who's gonna 00:40:50.849 --> 00:40:53.869 control where they go and And then who's gonna 00:40:53.869 --> 00:40:56.230 secure it making sure someone can't hack it and 00:40:56.230 --> 00:40:58.949 have a flight and then fly somebody, you know, 00:40:58.949 --> 00:41:03.750 that's a lot of truth for that. Yeah A lot of 00:41:03.750 --> 00:41:08.530 truth for that. There's a lot of More than technology 00:41:08.530 --> 00:41:10.369 when it comes to your children there's so much 00:41:10.369 --> 00:41:14.630 that you really got to Devote time to understand 00:41:14.630 --> 00:41:17.360 to be able to explain And then not been afraid 00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:20.179 to be like, I have no clue what that is. I have 00:41:20.179 --> 00:41:23.699 to go check it out for myself because, you know, 00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:27.380 like if they come in and talk about Roblox, I 00:41:27.380 --> 00:41:28.940 didn't know what that was. I still don't know 00:41:28.940 --> 00:41:31.780 what that is. I had to go on and actually download 00:41:31.780 --> 00:41:33.739 the game and start playing it and realize, okay, 00:41:33.780 --> 00:41:35.880 this is what it's about to understand it. And 00:41:35.880 --> 00:41:39.760 then realize, okay, this is a decently fun, you 00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:42.639 know, group game where communities come together 00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:45.650 and everybody plays and can chat and stuff. You 00:41:45.650 --> 00:41:47.909 also got bad people who come on and they're mean 00:41:47.909 --> 00:41:50.230 and they say inappropriate things. You just gotta 00:41:50.230 --> 00:41:53.530 learn to mute it. I can't stand there and tell 00:41:53.530 --> 00:41:55.789 you not to listen to it, but I can show you how 00:41:55.789 --> 00:41:58.570 to mute it. You don't have to hear it. Exactly 00:41:58.570 --> 00:42:01.550 right. You know, Skylar come to us one time and 00:42:01.550 --> 00:42:04.130 she's upset. They said something to her and it 00:42:04.130 --> 00:42:06.130 was like, baby, you don't have to hear it. You 00:42:06.130 --> 00:42:07.809 don't have to play the game. You can go to a 00:42:07.809 --> 00:42:10.510 different game or you can find something else 00:42:10.510 --> 00:42:13.789 to do. Or just mute it. You don't have to hear 00:42:13.789 --> 00:42:16.429 nothing nobody says. You don't even have to talk 00:42:16.429 --> 00:42:18.409 to them just to play the game. You walk around 00:42:18.409 --> 00:42:23.309 just kind of... Minecraft? You know, sort of 00:42:23.309 --> 00:42:25.289 like Zelda was. I don't even remember Zelda. 00:42:25.889 --> 00:42:28.050 Basically the same thing, but in a Lego form. 00:42:28.829 --> 00:42:31.170 Makes sense now. You're basically building, tearing 00:42:31.170 --> 00:42:33.550 up, and you got weapons and whatever. That's 00:42:33.550 --> 00:42:39.150 all it is. Interesting. Alright, so I'll ask 00:42:39.150 --> 00:42:45.800 you a couple questions. Close it out. No right 00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:48.659 or wrong, but these are just kind of for deeper 00:42:48.659 --> 00:42:50.639 reflection. What's the difference you think between 00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:55.400 being connected and being present? A difference 00:42:55.400 --> 00:42:59.480 between being connected and being present. So 00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:04.059 connected is something I find more in a private, 00:43:04.380 --> 00:43:07.179 comfortable setting at home. You're, you know, 00:43:07.340 --> 00:43:10.389 you're at peace there. and you can connect there 00:43:10.389 --> 00:43:16.309 you can block out all distractions so much simpler 00:43:16.309 --> 00:43:22.670 when i feel like i'm present i feel like i have 00:43:22.670 --> 00:43:28.449 submitted to where i'm being used i'll give a 00:43:28.449 --> 00:43:30.670 great example like when we do our bible study 00:43:30.670 --> 00:43:34.650 one of the times we didn't talk about nothing 00:43:34.650 --> 00:43:38.050 in the bible We've set there and literally had 00:43:38.050 --> 00:43:40.590 a conversation and it was more of a teaching 00:43:40.590 --> 00:43:44.670 moment for me and the kids and my wife to just 00:43:44.670 --> 00:43:46.929 interact with each other and they learn more 00:43:46.929 --> 00:43:49.269 about having a conversation and talking to each 00:43:49.269 --> 00:43:51.389 other and sharing things that they've learned 00:43:51.389 --> 00:43:55.849 or they've noticed and opening up than we ever 00:43:55.849 --> 00:44:00.230 did You know, maybe a verse in the Bible. Yeah 00:44:01.019 --> 00:44:02.920 That's my wife was kind of like, but we never 00:44:02.920 --> 00:44:04.760 taught nothing about the Bible. I said, but I 00:44:04.760 --> 00:44:09.440 was still Used to teach our kids how to communicate 00:44:09.440 --> 00:44:12.840 with each other back before technology was in 00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:15.059 the way when you had nothing else to do but you 00:44:15.059 --> 00:44:18.239 come home and You know, you were called. We've 00:44:18.239 --> 00:44:21.800 lost me. You said talk at the table about how 00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:24.380 your mom's feeling like if she's not feeling 00:44:24.380 --> 00:44:27.980 well or if she heard from the neighbor who's 00:44:27.980 --> 00:44:31.460 sick or a family member that might need somebody, 00:44:31.739 --> 00:44:34.760 whatever. And we literally just learned how to 00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:37.920 talk to each other like that. In my opinion, 00:44:37.940 --> 00:44:41.199 I think we've lost that ability. That Bible study 00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:43.699 I actually went, we try to keep it around an 00:44:43.699 --> 00:44:45.960 hour. That one I think went like an hour and 00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:50.329 45 minutes. Wow. Just talking. We hadn't done 00:44:50.329 --> 00:44:53.329 that since we moved in our house. But that speaks 00:44:53.329 --> 00:44:55.389 volumes because you're talking about you've got 00:44:55.389 --> 00:44:57.969 teenagers to talk to. You've got your own kids 00:44:57.969 --> 00:45:01.230 to have an hour and 45 minute conversation with 00:45:01.230 --> 00:45:04.369 you. With each other and us as a group. That's 00:45:04.369 --> 00:45:09.670 a big deal. You've got a society now where if 00:45:09.670 --> 00:45:12.090 we just talk for five minutes, I'm out of things 00:45:12.090 --> 00:45:14.969 to say because I don't have a phone. I actually 00:45:14.969 --> 00:45:19.289 battle that inside of myself. Say, you know pass 00:45:19.289 --> 00:45:22.449 somebody I know in a store. Maybe just an acquaintance. 00:45:22.449 --> 00:45:28.289 Maybe a neighbor I try Not purposefully just 00:45:28.289 --> 00:45:31.889 out of natural Reaction to shorten it. Mm -hmm 00:45:31.889 --> 00:45:34.550 to be you know quick. Hey, how you doing? I'm 00:45:34.550 --> 00:45:37.130 good. Everything. All right. Yeah We'll talk 00:45:37.130 --> 00:45:41.090 to you later and move on. Yeah It just comes 00:45:41.090 --> 00:45:43.869 natural for me to want to try to avoid that conversation. 00:45:44.170 --> 00:45:47.869 I think that's culture as a whole. If you really 00:45:47.869 --> 00:45:50.889 think about it, because we don't have those conversations. 00:45:50.909 --> 00:45:51.929 That's someone behind you holding a cart trying 00:45:51.929 --> 00:45:53.909 to push you up. Well, you're blocking me out. 00:45:55.750 --> 00:45:57.650 You just feel that way. I don't want to stand 00:45:57.650 --> 00:46:00.170 in the way. I don't want to be a bother to nobody. 00:46:01.050 --> 00:46:05.480 Maybe you've got stuff to do. I don't know. But 00:46:05.480 --> 00:46:08.300 you know even going back to what you mentioned 00:46:08.300 --> 00:46:10.079 crystal and said, you know, you didn't bring 00:46:10.079 --> 00:46:14.699 out a Bible verse I think we forget go back to 00:46:14.699 --> 00:46:17.380 When the disciples after Jesus has been crucified 00:46:17.380 --> 00:46:22.139 they didn't have the Bible They just had each 00:46:22.139 --> 00:46:24.920 other and didn't teach what they you know, some 00:46:24.920 --> 00:46:29.900 of them had walked with Jesus personally so They 00:46:29.900 --> 00:46:31.800 would teach the stuff that they heard and they 00:46:31.800 --> 00:46:35.900 would they had community and had fellowship You 00:46:35.900 --> 00:46:38.059 know, you go to other nations, like you think 00:46:38.059 --> 00:46:41.300 about China, they may get a couple pages out 00:46:41.300 --> 00:46:46.360 of a Bible. But if we could ever get back to, 00:46:46.980 --> 00:46:49.400 no, I may not have had a Bible verse directly 00:46:49.400 --> 00:46:53.500 for this conversation, but we had a conversation, 00:46:53.659 --> 00:46:57.000 Christ is within us, we're fellowshiping and 00:46:57.000 --> 00:47:00.300 learning and talking together to build this family. 00:47:02.609 --> 00:47:05.250 Open communication. As a dad and a husband, my 00:47:05.250 --> 00:47:09.250 first ministry is my family. And if I can't, 00:47:09.349 --> 00:47:11.530 if we can't do that here, then what gives me 00:47:11.530 --> 00:47:13.570 the right to try to do something in a church 00:47:13.570 --> 00:47:16.730 building? I mean, does that make sense? Yeah, 00:47:16.730 --> 00:47:20.769 definitely, because how can you teach others 00:47:20.769 --> 00:47:24.949 if you can't teach your own home? And that's 00:47:24.949 --> 00:47:27.489 one of the things that's, having grown up in 00:47:27.489 --> 00:47:31.179 the church world, it fascinates me. Because it 00:47:31.179 --> 00:47:37.519 and I'm starting to see a shift But it how many 00:47:37.519 --> 00:47:41.000 Families I guess were sacrificed on the altar 00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:44.280 of ministry Because I've got to be the man of 00:47:44.280 --> 00:47:47.500 the hour While my family's at home never seeing 00:47:47.500 --> 00:47:50.699 me my own kids don't see me. That's a problem 00:47:50.699 --> 00:47:53.539 And that's just for me personally speaking. I'm 00:47:53.539 --> 00:47:56.119 starting to see that shift but and I've lived 00:47:56.119 --> 00:48:00.099 that life but in previous seasons where you know 00:48:00.099 --> 00:48:02.360 we were in the ministry positions and you know 00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:04.800 that's what I got to do and just gonna be what 00:48:04.800 --> 00:48:09.300 it is and you know there's been previous ministries 00:48:09.300 --> 00:48:11.400 we were part of that the kids weren't allowed 00:48:11.400 --> 00:48:15.800 to come with us and I just decided this time 00:48:15.800 --> 00:48:20.000 if my family can't come then that's I don't care 00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:23.280 if my kids can't be here for a youth service 00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:28.279 I'm not interested in doing this number one And 00:48:28.279 --> 00:48:32.460 again, I've held these beliefs before. We sometimes 00:48:32.460 --> 00:48:34.880 think that if there's distraction in the room, 00:48:35.460 --> 00:48:37.280 somebody can be distracted, God can't move. Well, 00:48:37.280 --> 00:48:39.960 if God's not big enough to move over the distraction, 00:48:40.659 --> 00:48:43.880 then He's not a big enough God. Right. Because 00:48:43.880 --> 00:48:46.139 the God I know can take the distraction, turn 00:48:46.139 --> 00:48:47.860 it, and still speak to the heart of the individual. 00:48:47.960 --> 00:48:50.639 He can block it out in her. He can block it out 00:48:50.639 --> 00:48:53.280 in you and me be distracted. Exactly right. Because 00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:55.880 He wanted you to hear it, not me. I've seen that, 00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:59.079 I've witnessed that. Well, not just that, and 00:48:59.079 --> 00:49:02.340 I've read studies on this. You might be distracted 00:49:02.340 --> 00:49:04.099 in the moment, but who's to say when you get 00:49:04.099 --> 00:49:06.320 home and you go to sleep, something don't speak 00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:09.440 to you in the midnight hours? Because whether 00:49:09.440 --> 00:49:11.099 you realize it or not, your spirit was still 00:49:11.099 --> 00:49:14.500 paying attention. This was distracted. Your mind 00:49:14.500 --> 00:49:16.159 was distracted, for those that can't see what 00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:19.139 I'm doing. But your spirit was still engaged 00:49:19.139 --> 00:49:25.289 somewhere. And I'm just like that. Baby starts 00:49:25.289 --> 00:49:27.949 crying when I'm ministering. So be it. He's a 00:49:27.949 --> 00:49:29.530 baby. That's what he's gonna do. That's what 00:49:29.530 --> 00:49:32.130 they do. Either mommy will take him out or I'll 00:49:32.130 --> 00:49:34.329 get him or something and we'll just keep flowing 00:49:34.329 --> 00:49:36.809 somewhere. Crystal actually showed me that when 00:49:36.809 --> 00:49:40.710 we were younger. You can't be afraid to vacuum 00:49:40.710 --> 00:49:43.070 your house because your baby's sleeping. No, 00:49:43.190 --> 00:49:44.530 that's one of the biggest mistakes you can make. 00:49:44.550 --> 00:49:46.190 You gotta let them learn to sleep their noise. 00:49:46.250 --> 00:49:49.110 Yep. Because they need to be able to do that 00:49:49.110 --> 00:49:53.500 in order to get full rest. You know. They gotta 00:49:53.500 --> 00:49:55.400 hear noise. You don't want them jumping every 00:49:55.400 --> 00:49:57.619 time somebody opens a door because they're so 00:49:57.619 --> 00:50:00.380 used to being dead silent. Yeah, you don't want 00:50:00.380 --> 00:50:03.519 that at all. And I was like that for the longest 00:50:03.519 --> 00:50:07.019 time. I remember as a kid, anything used to wake 00:50:07.019 --> 00:50:13.619 me up. Anything. And now, if it ain't out of 00:50:13.619 --> 00:50:16.489 the ordinary, I don't wake up. Kids talking, 00:50:16.610 --> 00:50:18.289 they come in my room, they can have a phone conversation 00:50:18.289 --> 00:50:19.710 with my wife. Generally, as long as they don't 00:50:19.710 --> 00:50:21.769 turn the light on, I don't hear nothing. You're 00:50:21.769 --> 00:50:24.190 out completely. I'm out completely. The phone 00:50:24.190 --> 00:50:26.989 can ring. As long as it ain't my ringer, I'm 00:50:26.989 --> 00:50:29.989 out completely. Yeah. But you're like, your mind 00:50:29.989 --> 00:50:32.170 knows when your phone rings. Mine knows when 00:50:32.170 --> 00:50:35.030 my phone rings and knows generally if it's the 00:50:35.030 --> 00:50:36.750 reason why I need to get up. Like if one of our 00:50:36.750 --> 00:50:41.349 kids ain't home and my phone rings. Okay. Probably 00:50:41.349 --> 00:50:44.159 nothing important. If it rings the second time 00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:46.219 I know it was important, I better answer it. 00:50:46.900 --> 00:50:49.500 Something's outside or a family member's calling. 00:50:51.800 --> 00:50:55.019 But most things don't disturb my sleep. I don't 00:50:55.019 --> 00:51:00.780 let them. There was a lot to that whole statement 00:51:00.780 --> 00:51:05.280 of just being around teenagers and having my 00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:07.300 own family. When you say you had an hour and 00:51:07.300 --> 00:51:10.599 45 minute conversation, that's a big deal. It 00:51:10.599 --> 00:51:15.639 was. even when we were going through it and i'm 00:51:15.639 --> 00:51:19.980 like because i think it started off i just i 00:51:19.980 --> 00:51:23.280 kind of released and i started crying and just 00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:25.139 talking and talking i was letting it flow out 00:51:25.139 --> 00:51:27.400 of me you know i know the holy spirit was talking 00:51:27.400 --> 00:51:31.280 yeah he was he was using me he was just opening 00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:34.539 me up in order for me to open to for them to 00:51:34.539 --> 00:51:38.590 see me open up and it opened them because they 00:51:38.590 --> 00:51:40.929 see me open. And you became, and this is just 00:51:40.929 --> 00:51:43.309 what I'm hearing as you're talking, you became 00:51:43.309 --> 00:51:46.230 a living scripture for them to read. Whether 00:51:46.230 --> 00:51:49.429 or not you had, you became Ray verse, chapter 00:51:49.429 --> 00:51:52.409 three verse one. That's what you became. Like 00:51:52.409 --> 00:51:57.889 you didn't have a precise scripture for the moment 00:51:57.889 --> 00:52:00.789 necessarily, but what was coming out of you. 00:52:00.929 --> 00:52:05.150 They were reading the scriptures. Yes. And they 00:52:05.150 --> 00:52:08.289 absorbed it like you wouldn't imagine. I could 00:52:08.289 --> 00:52:11.269 still look back and see their faces. They were 00:52:11.269 --> 00:52:15.849 just literally not distracted with nothing. That 00:52:15.849 --> 00:52:19.570 really reminds me, you think about how Jesus 00:52:19.570 --> 00:52:21.329 came and walked the earth and the things that 00:52:21.329 --> 00:52:24.329 he spoke. Yes, there was times he were referenced 00:52:24.329 --> 00:52:26.650 back to these scriptures from the Old Testament, 00:52:27.170 --> 00:52:29.989 but the other stuff that we have wrote down was 00:52:29.989 --> 00:52:33.989 he was the living word made flesh. He put it 00:52:33.989 --> 00:52:37.030 in a sense that everybody understood and and 00:52:37.030 --> 00:52:41.110 it opened them up and draw them in yeah And if 00:52:41.110 --> 00:52:42.730 we could figure out how to have more of those 00:52:42.730 --> 00:52:45.590 kind of conversations You know if we have a Bible 00:52:45.590 --> 00:52:48.030 verse great, and I'm all for that, but if we 00:52:48.030 --> 00:52:52.130 don't understanding that We're still having a 00:52:52.130 --> 00:52:55.550 conversation and building upon something mm -hmm, 00:52:55.789 --> 00:53:02.369 and he's in the middle of it Honestly, I've been 00:53:02.369 --> 00:53:05.750 thinking this about time to have that conversation, 00:53:05.769 --> 00:53:11.230 situation to come about again. With things changing, 00:53:12.289 --> 00:53:16.570 every day is something new between one's work 00:53:16.570 --> 00:53:19.309 and the things going on with after school football 00:53:19.309 --> 00:53:24.130 programs. Scholars first year in middle school, 00:53:24.710 --> 00:53:27.719 we definitely. We have that time again to where 00:53:27.719 --> 00:53:30.760 they can open up and just let's explore how they're 00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:34.320 feeling and all these new changes. I like that. 00:53:34.639 --> 00:53:36.360 If you do that, I'd like to know how it goes. 00:53:36.539 --> 00:53:41.179 Not to pry, I'd be nosy, but that to me, it fascinates 00:53:41.179 --> 00:53:44.219 me to see that there's families still doing that 00:53:44.219 --> 00:53:46.019 and not just sitting around a dinner table with 00:53:46.019 --> 00:53:48.840 everybody with their cell phone. Off in our own 00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:52.400 little worlds. Yeah. And I feel like you get 00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:55.599 most of that on TV. Yeah. I think TV displays 00:53:55.599 --> 00:54:00.699 that. I do. All right, last question then we'll 00:54:00.699 --> 00:54:04.719 wrap it up about 430. If you could give one challenge 00:54:04.719 --> 00:54:10.059 to listeners, maybe whether it's man, woman, 00:54:10.260 --> 00:54:14.579 dad, mother, whatever. If you could give one 00:54:14.579 --> 00:54:16.980 challenge to them for reclaiming their attention 00:54:16.980 --> 00:54:20.719 this week, what would it be? For reclaiming their 00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:26.829 children's attention? I don't want to throw out 00:54:26.829 --> 00:54:29.949 an easy one. I want something that's going to 00:54:29.949 --> 00:54:40.210 make them think. Let's say a challenge for the 00:54:40.210 --> 00:54:43.550 parent and the children that would be brand new. 00:54:44.329 --> 00:54:48.070 Something unexplored that you have nothing, no 00:54:48.070 --> 00:54:51.869 knowledge about. Like if you have to go online 00:54:51.869 --> 00:54:54.369 and randomly search it up, say like if it's exploring 00:54:54.369 --> 00:54:58.659 something. or going and visiting somewhere, or 00:54:58.659 --> 00:55:02.780 maybe if you've never played Monopoly in your 00:55:02.780 --> 00:55:08.219 life, sit down, find a family thing, even if 00:55:08.219 --> 00:55:11.420 it is a board game, and try to get everybody 00:55:11.420 --> 00:55:14.019 together and interested in it. Show your interest 00:55:14.019 --> 00:55:17.679 in it, try to hype it up, and then roll the dice 00:55:17.679 --> 00:55:21.420 and see what happens. I like that. something 00:55:21.420 --> 00:55:24.159 that everybody can be involved in. Even just 00:55:24.159 --> 00:55:26.159 going out in the backyard and trying to have 00:55:26.159 --> 00:55:29.659 a softball game or a badminton game. Something 00:55:29.659 --> 00:55:32.659 that everybody can be involved in. And when you 00:55:32.659 --> 00:55:34.619 do that board game or going outside and doing 00:55:34.619 --> 00:55:39.199 that, it can lead to afterwards conversations 00:55:39.199 --> 00:55:43.039 like we just said. Now that we've had all this 00:55:43.039 --> 00:55:45.440 fun, if you're doing a board game, you can have 00:55:45.440 --> 00:55:47.699 conversations while doing it. But let's say you 00:55:47.699 --> 00:55:49.730 go in the backyard and do a game of softball 00:55:49.730 --> 00:55:52.650 or kickball or whatever, you know, after once 00:55:52.650 --> 00:55:55.469 you're dodgeball, I used to love dodgeball. But 00:55:55.469 --> 00:55:57.750 once you get done, you know, just just sitting 00:55:57.750 --> 00:56:00.210 down laughing and as a family, you know, you 00:56:00.210 --> 00:56:01.449 know, what'd you get out of that? Did you learn 00:56:01.449 --> 00:56:05.469 anything? I mean, the conversations that can 00:56:05.469 --> 00:56:08.650 open up because now you've created a space and 00:56:08.650 --> 00:56:11.170 you've got attention. You've got attention. You've 00:56:11.170 --> 00:56:15.449 created a safe space to now everybody's playing 00:56:15.449 --> 00:56:18.670 and laughing and having fun. and taking that, 00:56:19.130 --> 00:56:22.889 I don't have to be afraid. Looking back, I kind 00:56:22.889 --> 00:56:25.769 of see how that works, because I remember my 00:56:25.769 --> 00:56:28.030 wife had my kids' attention long before I did. 00:56:29.110 --> 00:56:30.949 As to be expected, mom spends more time with 00:56:30.949 --> 00:56:34.929 the babies than dads do. But during that time, 00:56:35.070 --> 00:56:38.210 moms also have to be themselves, so when mom 00:56:38.210 --> 00:56:43.590 gets joy in her, maybe she likes dancing. They 00:56:43.590 --> 00:56:45.630 turn on the music while she's doing whatever 00:56:45.630 --> 00:56:48.110 with the baby. There's baby sitting there eating 00:56:48.110 --> 00:56:50.289 and mom's doing dishes or whatever. She turns 00:56:50.289 --> 00:56:53.190 the music up and she starts dancing. The baby 00:56:53.190 --> 00:56:56.190 sees mama open up, cut loose. That's true. And 00:56:56.190 --> 00:56:58.510 then learns to do it, which bonds mama more with 00:56:58.510 --> 00:57:02.530 the baby. Us as dads have to figure out in our 00:57:02.530 --> 00:57:06.369 own sense, how do we do that? Yeah. That's a 00:57:06.369 --> 00:57:08.840 good point. It ain't always got to be with dad, 00:57:08.940 --> 00:57:10.900 had to come home and the washing machine broke. 00:57:11.219 --> 00:57:13.880 We'll go help him fix the washing machine, you 00:57:13.880 --> 00:57:16.440 know, and try to talk to your child while you're 00:57:16.440 --> 00:57:19.000 upset and banging on stuff trying to tear and 00:57:19.000 --> 00:57:21.599 fix stuff because you're in a hurry. Yeah. You 00:57:21.599 --> 00:57:23.820 know, there's other things that dads like to 00:57:23.820 --> 00:57:27.760 do that can be competitive but still be fun. 00:57:28.360 --> 00:57:45.659 Yeah. That's exactly right. Walk on the trail 00:57:45.659 --> 00:57:50.400 even. Trails are everywhere nowadays. I love 00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:56.889 it. You want to close it out in prayer? Father, 00:57:56.889 --> 00:57:58.590 we just thank you. We thank you for this time 00:57:58.590 --> 00:58:01.449 together. And God, we just ask and pray a special 00:58:01.449 --> 00:58:06.349 blessing on every listener. Holy Spirit, may 00:58:06.349 --> 00:58:09.469 you teach them how to be present together, how 00:58:09.469 --> 00:58:12.329 to be engaged in conversations as families again 00:58:12.329 --> 00:58:16.750 with dads and kids and moms and kids and husbands 00:58:16.750 --> 00:58:21.050 and wives having conversation again. Just reveal 00:58:21.050 --> 00:58:24.510 yourself in the middle of the family. and help 00:58:24.510 --> 00:58:27.929 us to be present again with each other. We thank 00:58:27.929 --> 00:58:31.269 you for this time. In Jesus' name, amen. Thank 00:58:31.269 --> 00:58:34.809 you, Ray. Thank you. I love them.