WEBVTT 00:00:02.220 --> 00:00:07.740 before time had a name there was a garden a place 00:00:07.740 --> 00:00:13.320 where heaven and earth walked as one this is 00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:17.780 the Echoes of Eden where we rediscover ancient 00:00:17.780 --> 00:00:28.239 roots and awaken to our eternal purpose Alright, 00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:32.020 well we are back starting season two of the podcast 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:36.960 and This one will be geared more toward men and 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:41.079 I have the privilege of Having my dad join me 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:46.520 on episode numero uno And we're just gonna have 00:00:46.520 --> 00:00:48.439 real conversation and then I'm gonna pick his 00:00:48.439 --> 00:00:51.200 brain. He has no idea what questions are coming. 00:00:52.420 --> 00:00:55.820 I Have no idea what questions are coming 100 00:00:55.820 --> 00:01:00.579 % We just kind of do this as we go. I do want 00:01:00.579 --> 00:01:05.359 to open up with a scripture. Psalms 127 verses 00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:08.620 3 and 4 says this, children are a gift from the 00:01:08.620 --> 00:01:13.579 Lord, they are a reward from him. Children born 00:01:13.579 --> 00:01:16.060 to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's 00:01:16.060 --> 00:01:18.739 hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is 00:01:18.739 --> 00:01:24.000 full of them. And I wanted to bring my dad on 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:26.730 this. didn't I just asked him actually I told 00:01:26.730 --> 00:01:31.609 him I was going to interview him and He reluctantly 00:01:31.609 --> 00:01:36.450 did not argue too much about it But this being 00:01:36.450 --> 00:01:40.290 the first episode I wanted to be about the foundation 00:01:40.290 --> 00:01:44.569 of fatherhood and What better person to have 00:01:44.569 --> 00:01:49.090 had that conversation than my own dad? And life 00:01:49.090 --> 00:01:51.609 hasn't always been easy we've both had our issues 00:01:51.609 --> 00:01:54.319 and work through things, but I think the important 00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:57.060 thing is that we've had the conversation, we've 00:01:57.060 --> 00:02:01.420 had the hard conversations. Yes, we have. I can 00:02:01.420 --> 00:02:03.659 remember, I'm sure you remember this too, when 00:02:03.659 --> 00:02:06.599 we went to Tennessee years ago and sat on the 00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:15.580 top of a roof. Make sure you talk into the mic. 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:21.759 Sorry, this is new to me. Need to get better 00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:25.280 mics. I really do but we hit we got on top of 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:28.919 the roof and this was when the Something happened 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:33.460 to my vehicle the fuel pump went out on vacation. 00:02:33.580 --> 00:02:35.539 I didn't have the money We didn't have the money 00:02:35.539 --> 00:02:38.879 to pay this was like six seven hundred dollar 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:42.340 Expense it just happens when we're gone on vacation 00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:44.360 trying to have a good time and mean you stayed 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:48.340 back the girls went to the aquarium aquarium 00:02:49.740 --> 00:02:52.400 and we stayed back and waited for somebody to 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.460 come fix the vehicle on site, because it was 00:02:55.460 --> 00:03:00.180 undrivable. We probably had other conversations 00:03:00.180 --> 00:03:02.539 somewhere, but I know that was one of the biggest 00:03:02.539 --> 00:03:05.280 ones that I can recall and remember, is having 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:09.900 the hard conversations. And one of those, one 00:03:09.900 --> 00:03:11.419 of the things you said, I think it was maybe 00:03:11.419 --> 00:03:12.719 in that one, it could have been in another one, 00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:16.800 I don't remember. But, you only get on that you 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:21.669 didn't always get it right. I still question 00:03:21.669 --> 00:03:23.949 whether I get a lot of stuff right, but definitely 00:03:23.949 --> 00:03:27.710 when y 'all were kids, I messed a lot of stuff 00:03:27.710 --> 00:03:32.509 up. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. And if I 00:03:32.509 --> 00:03:35.349 can keep someone else from making the same mistakes 00:03:35.349 --> 00:03:39.870 that I made as a father, then yeah, I mean, I 00:03:39.870 --> 00:03:43.889 would do that in a heartbeat. One, I think, you 00:03:43.889 --> 00:03:46.569 know, I think maybe as a kid and even a teenager, 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:52.280 It's easy to throw blame wherever You name it, 00:03:52.659 --> 00:03:55.379 but as for my own personal journey when you have 00:03:55.379 --> 00:03:58.780 your own kids They don't come with no manual. 00:03:59.340 --> 00:04:02.259 Yeah And you just do the best you can and just 00:04:02.259 --> 00:04:04.479 like with my kids there's times I just have to 00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:06.960 apologize because I didn't handle a situation 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:11.439 right or whatever But there's parts of me that 00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:13.879 thinks I'm able to do that because I saw how 00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:17.300 you did And we've never had this kind of conversation. 00:04:18.139 --> 00:04:20.920 But I can apologize to them a whole lot easier 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:24.360 because we've had those hard conversations. And 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:28.240 that's not something you find a whole lot, especially 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:32.160 in men. Because we've got too much pride to admit 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:36.279 we've done something wrong or we messed up. We 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:37.980 think we're always the ones that get everything 00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:41.279 right. It's always somebody else to blame. But 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:46.500 if you take a step back and look, There's always 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:49.000 something that you could have done better or 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.519 wish you had done, but you get that little thing 00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:53.839 called pride and you won't admit it that you 00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:55.279 could have done it better and then you just let 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:59.519 it keep going and going and going until it gets 00:04:59.519 --> 00:05:03.660 to the point where you think everything's alright 00:05:03.660 --> 00:05:14.040 when it's not. That's very true. Very true. piece 00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:16.959 of honesty when it comes to recognizing, hey, 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:22.699 I screwed that one up. And it's not always easy 00:05:22.699 --> 00:05:24.959 to admit. You really do, like you said, you have 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:29.279 to swallow that pride and be able to admit. It's 00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:31.379 not easy to, especially as a man, it's not easy 00:05:31.379 --> 00:05:35.759 to always sit there and go, crap, I got that 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:40.439 one wrong. Let me go fix this one. Yeah. And, 00:05:40.500 --> 00:05:42.459 you know, I even think of the verse I opened 00:05:42.459 --> 00:05:46.410 up with, One of the things I was reading on it 00:05:46.410 --> 00:05:50.970 about says This verse frames fatherhood as a 00:05:50.970 --> 00:05:54.170 divine trust their children are not possessions, 00:05:54.230 --> 00:05:58.129 but their gifts entrusted by God the imagery 00:05:58.129 --> 00:06:01.509 of arrows also connect fatherhood to vision direction 00:06:01.509 --> 00:06:04.350 and legacy fathers are called to shape to study 00:06:04.350 --> 00:06:07.009 and to launch their children into God -given 00:06:07.009 --> 00:06:14.439 destinies and I Think back to I reflect on my 00:06:14.439 --> 00:06:21.259 own life and where I'm at. And regardless of 00:06:21.259 --> 00:06:25.420 whatever happened, even our ups and downs in 00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:29.639 our relationship, I am who I am because we've 00:06:29.639 --> 00:06:32.959 been able to have conversations at times. I can 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:36.100 remember even, and again for all the listeners, 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:41.740 I'm not one to just talk like this constantly, 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:44.350 but I think these conversations are important, 00:06:44.370 --> 00:06:47.649 so I'm going to let stuff out. But even on my 00:06:47.649 --> 00:06:50.250 wedding day, I remember you told me something 00:06:50.250 --> 00:06:52.329 on my wedding day about how proud you was of 00:06:52.329 --> 00:06:56.990 me. And that still has, let's see, we've been 00:06:56.990 --> 00:07:01.790 married 2012. My wife is not here. She'll hear 00:07:01.790 --> 00:07:08.110 this though. 2012, that's 13 years. Thank you. 00:07:08.189 --> 00:07:12.139 13 years. But 13 years later, that's still, I 00:07:12.139 --> 00:07:15.779 can recall that conversation in that room when 00:07:15.779 --> 00:07:17.379 you sit there and told me how proud you was of 00:07:17.379 --> 00:07:21.839 me. And Amanda's not here to tell her story, 00:07:21.839 --> 00:07:23.639 but I know her and her dad just recently had 00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:26.399 a conversation and she said, she told me, she 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:30.399 said, even at 35, she said, never was talking 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:36.800 to me about our kids. She said, never. Never 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:38.899 doubt yourself and your ability to say you're 00:07:38.899 --> 00:07:40.639 proud of your kids and the impact that has on 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:43.939 them Even at 35 years old that back then I'd 00:07:43.939 --> 00:07:49.860 have been 20 22 Yes, 22 when we got married and 00:07:49.860 --> 00:07:54.819 I can still recall that conversation and We don't 00:07:54.819 --> 00:07:57.379 have this kind of conversation a lot a lot of 00:07:57.379 --> 00:07:59.279 our stuff is more goofing off. We're going to 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:03.860 watch like the conjuring and Just doing stupid 00:08:03.860 --> 00:08:10.290 stuff But I think of the cars or tailgates of 00:08:10.290 --> 00:08:13.790 trucks. How I'm still alive. Yeah, having jumping 00:08:13.790 --> 00:08:15.750 contests. There ain't no way that I wouldn't 00:08:15.750 --> 00:08:17.269 try to jump over a pencil now. I wouldn't do 00:08:17.269 --> 00:08:19.250 it today. I'd be afraid I'd break something, 00:08:19.250 --> 00:08:22.470 yeah. Oh, that little red picket truck. But you 00:08:22.470 --> 00:08:24.269 know, you said something about the conversation 00:08:24.269 --> 00:08:29.189 that we had at your wedding. And as a father, 00:08:30.350 --> 00:08:31.930 God, this is hard for me too. You're throwing 00:08:31.930 --> 00:08:38.059 some doozies out here already. But I know growing 00:08:38.059 --> 00:08:43.620 up I was probably one of the worst fathers to 00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:46.960 you and Courtney that there was But when you 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:49.279 got married I was just under thinking you were 00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:51.500 twice the man that I was and I just pray to God 00:08:51.500 --> 00:08:55.639 that God used you To do something that I couldn't 00:08:55.639 --> 00:09:01.139 do for you If that makes sense it does but I 00:09:01.139 --> 00:09:02.940 hear you say that you were the worst father but 00:09:02.940 --> 00:09:05.539 and In hindsight, looking up, I think you did 00:09:05.539 --> 00:09:11.000 the best you knew how. And that's my honest opinion. 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:13.940 I know back then I probably said some hurtful 00:09:13.940 --> 00:09:16.200 things. I put distance between us. I did a whole 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:21.299 lot of different things. But as a dad now, looking 00:09:21.299 --> 00:09:24.940 back, I wholeheartedly believe you just did the 00:09:24.940 --> 00:09:28.659 best that you could in that moment. And life 00:09:28.659 --> 00:09:31.440 took you on a journey just as much as life has 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.740 taken me on a journey. and even now sitting here 00:09:35.740 --> 00:09:39.059 today and having, now you've got three grandbabies 00:09:39.059 --> 00:09:45.159 and watching the interaction there. I mean, you're 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:49.039 not the same man you was then. No. God, I'm glad 00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:52.399 I'm not the same person I was then. I'd like 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:54.659 to think I've learned some stuff and God's put 00:09:54.659 --> 00:09:56.620 into me something that I didn't have back then 00:09:56.620 --> 00:10:02.149 and that was a more compassionate person. Lot 00:10:02.149 --> 00:10:04.970 a lot of times like I would kind of let You know 00:10:04.970 --> 00:10:07.850 my brains think first and do stuff that I probably 00:10:07.850 --> 00:10:09.629 shouldn't have done instead of thank you with 00:10:09.629 --> 00:10:11.269 my heart And ask me you know what what would 00:10:11.269 --> 00:10:14.250 God do yeah, or what would God want me to do? 00:10:14.870 --> 00:10:18.389 but now I kind of I'm not saying I'm perfect 00:10:18.389 --> 00:10:21.730 by no means, but I'll say here, and I will I'm 00:10:21.730 --> 00:10:26.990 nowhere near the person that I was then and you 00:10:26.990 --> 00:10:32.820 know even Even with all of it though. I do reflect 00:10:32.820 --> 00:10:41.059 back and No, we know no one was perfect But you 00:10:41.059 --> 00:10:44.220 still had the You still ensure that we stayed 00:10:44.220 --> 00:10:47.059 in church also though. Yeah, like God was still 00:10:47.059 --> 00:10:51.460 a part of our life. Yeah May not have been the 00:10:51.460 --> 00:10:55.360 way we wanted it or whatever But God was still 00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:59.700 and not just that but I can reflect on and even 00:11:01.169 --> 00:11:04.029 Being 35 now and just trying to figure out ways 00:11:04.029 --> 00:11:06.990 to you know, like considering my grandparents 00:11:06.990 --> 00:11:11.830 and trying to find ways to Either like we're 00:11:11.830 --> 00:11:14.129 going to see granny once a month or doing something 00:11:14.129 --> 00:11:17.750 I can remember on at least this side of the family. 00:11:17.750 --> 00:11:19.730 People don't know I've got divorced parents, 00:11:19.730 --> 00:11:23.730 but With with you we would go to church This 00:11:23.730 --> 00:11:25.250 is probably when I was younger. We would go to 00:11:25.250 --> 00:11:27.809 church and then we go to granny Granny goats 00:11:27.809 --> 00:11:32.399 and have lunch Everybody get together over there. 00:11:32.600 --> 00:11:35.820 And my favorite thing was the big old pot of 00:11:35.820 --> 00:11:40.240 mashed potatoes. That was my favorite. That and 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:43.919 drinking out of the little spoon that she had 00:11:43.919 --> 00:11:48.039 at the sink. Little dipper. Little dipper. Yep. 00:11:49.620 --> 00:11:51.539 But it's stuff like that that I reflect back 00:11:51.539 --> 00:11:56.500 on now and I'm trying to find ways to do something 00:11:56.500 --> 00:12:01.279 to incorporate. My grandpa like Granny Wilma 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:05.299 Granny Debbie Trying to find something to allow 00:12:05.299 --> 00:12:08.200 them Let's just be honest Granny Wilma is not 00:12:08.200 --> 00:12:10.840 going to drive to my house. No, she's not going 00:12:10.840 --> 00:12:12.919 to do that She'd have to have a ride or whatever. 00:12:13.580 --> 00:12:17.039 So, you know, I wouldn't want her driving No 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:22.799 No Most definitely no and if you ever get behind 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:24.659 the woman or in front of the woman just just 00:12:24.659 --> 00:12:28.279 pull over let her let her go by She will never 00:12:28.279 --> 00:12:32.259 hear this. It's OK. Oh, I tell her all the time. 00:12:32.379 --> 00:12:35.240 Mama, you don't need to be driving. Oh, goodness. 00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:39.379 But you know, so I'm trying now to take some 00:12:39.379 --> 00:12:42.860 of that more into consideration. The past couple 00:12:42.860 --> 00:12:44.580 of months has been hard because the girls have 00:12:44.580 --> 00:12:46.820 been soccer. And it just feels like every day 00:12:46.820 --> 00:12:51.399 is busy constantly. But anyhow, I can just remember 00:12:51.399 --> 00:12:56.820 those things back then. And again, no, it wasn't 00:12:56.820 --> 00:13:00.879 perfect. Neither was I, but I wholeheartedly 00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:04.700 believe you did the best that you could. And 00:13:04.700 --> 00:13:08.879 then, you know, fast forward that to, you know, 00:13:08.899 --> 00:13:12.259 just a few years ago especially, we did have 00:13:12.259 --> 00:13:16.500 to have those hard conversations. I have to reflect 00:13:16.500 --> 00:13:18.559 back, you were man enough to have those conversations. 00:13:19.460 --> 00:13:22.519 Because how many men would not? How many men 00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:26.720 still don't have that kind of conversation of, 00:13:28.599 --> 00:13:31.019 And to me, I guess those kind of conversations 00:13:31.019 --> 00:13:34.639 help bring healing to whatever. Yeah. Because 00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:37.519 it's not about, you know, once we had that conversation, 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:39.639 this ain't a, well, you did this, you did that. 00:13:39.940 --> 00:13:43.500 The blame game's over. Yeah. Now we just grow 00:13:43.500 --> 00:13:46.320 up and move on. And we build off where we're 00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:50.220 at. Before it slips my mind, you was just talking 00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:54.539 about like when you were younger and going over 00:13:54.539 --> 00:13:57.340 the granny goods. I think that's a lot of the 00:13:57.340 --> 00:13:58.759 problem with some of the stuff we've got going 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:03.200 on now. It's like everybody's too busy to actually 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:05.799 take time to spend with the people that they've 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:08.379 got here. You know, they want to run here, run 00:14:08.379 --> 00:14:10.519 here, stay like you're doing now, stay on your 00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:13.700 cell phone. You know, it's like technology is 00:14:13.700 --> 00:14:16.080 ruling our world. I mean, and technology's great, 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.720 but you need to take time to spend with the people 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:20.700 that you love and even the ones that may get 00:14:20.700 --> 00:14:22.299 on your nerves because, you know, they're here 00:14:22.299 --> 00:14:24.340 one day and they're gone tomorrow and you don't 00:14:24.340 --> 00:14:26.840 ever know that. Yeah, and you never know when 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:29.019 the last thing that you say I mean it might be 00:14:29.019 --> 00:14:31.580 something hurtful It might be I love you, but 00:14:31.580 --> 00:14:34.200 I mean you just you never know So you need to 00:14:34.200 --> 00:14:36.779 just live each day like it's the last day that 00:14:36.779 --> 00:14:40.259 you get with someone It's very true because I 00:14:40.259 --> 00:14:42.159 mean you just don't know I mean you could be 00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:44.779 driving down the road and get swiped swiped or 00:14:44.779 --> 00:14:49.940 get the diagnosis with cancer Whatever and you 00:14:49.940 --> 00:14:53.500 just you just don't ever know I mean, I'm still 00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:55.559 kind of guilty of that now. I mean, I don't know 00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:58.340 how many weekends we sit here and say, we need 00:14:58.340 --> 00:15:01.120 to come see y 'all. And then we get busy, you 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:02.620 know, doing something else. And by the time you 00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:04.059 lift the clock, it's like, well, it's too late 00:15:04.059 --> 00:15:07.019 to go now. Yeah. You know, every second that 00:15:07.019 --> 00:15:08.919 you miss out on that is a second that you don't 00:15:08.919 --> 00:15:12.419 get back. That's very true. I mean, so, you know, 00:15:12.419 --> 00:15:14.139 don't take it for granted that it's going to 00:15:14.139 --> 00:15:18.299 be here tomorrow when it may not be. It's like 00:15:18.299 --> 00:15:20.779 you said, technology, it's a blessing and a curse. 00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:26.570 Yeah. It has its usefulness, but it's like I 00:15:26.570 --> 00:15:32.990 even told the girls This is probably I Think 00:15:32.990 --> 00:15:34.990 we had this conversation at the start of summer, 00:15:36.210 --> 00:15:43.450 and I'll probably have it again soon But we I 00:15:43.450 --> 00:15:46.509 told him I said we made I found something online 00:15:46.509 --> 00:15:49.309 about a summer schedule because our kids are 00:15:49.309 --> 00:15:52.080 homeschooled and I don't want them spending all 00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:54.360 summer on technology and all this kind of stuff. 00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:59.399 So it had the basis of it was you can spend as 00:15:59.399 --> 00:16:02.059 much time on your tablet or phone as you would 00:16:02.059 --> 00:16:05.080 like, as long as, and it gave a list of things, 00:16:05.080 --> 00:16:07.399 you had to spend 30 minutes outside, 30 minutes 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:12.159 doing something creative, 30 minutes doing, helping 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:13.720 around the house, making sure that everybody, 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:17.779 you had to make sure that nobody else needed 00:16:17.779 --> 00:16:20.409 your help with something. So like, especially 00:16:20.409 --> 00:16:22.669 with their mom being at home and having a baby 00:16:22.669 --> 00:16:25.350 brother, is there anything mom needs me to do? 00:16:25.529 --> 00:16:27.269 You had to make sure all this stuff was done 00:16:27.269 --> 00:16:30.950 before you got any tablet time or anything. And 00:16:30.950 --> 00:16:33.190 I told them, I said, my priority as your dad 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:35.330 is not to make sure you know how to use a phone, 00:16:36.289 --> 00:16:39.710 but how to do life. And that's still one of the 00:16:39.710 --> 00:16:42.970 things I'm, you know, us growing up, we didn't 00:16:42.970 --> 00:16:45.389 really have this kind of cell phone and all that 00:16:45.389 --> 00:16:47.509 kind of stuff as technology. We had video games. 00:16:49.889 --> 00:16:53.389 But we didn't have the glue of a phone in front 00:16:53.389 --> 00:16:56.649 of us or a tablet in front of us constantly It 00:16:56.649 --> 00:17:00.230 was you know growing up. It was the N64 and the 00:17:00.230 --> 00:17:04.029 Nintendo Gamecube so like Mario Kart and different 00:17:04.029 --> 00:17:06.789 things of that and dad coming into the room and 00:17:06.789 --> 00:17:09.329 Hey, we're having a Mario Kart championship. 00:17:09.690 --> 00:17:11.750 Let's get them. Let's get the controllers out. 00:17:12.789 --> 00:17:15.970 Yeah and you know, then there was other times 00:17:15.970 --> 00:17:22.380 and This was my life growing up was cut off the 00:17:22.380 --> 00:17:27.740 game and go outside Y 'all stay outside Go play 00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:31.079 outside Do not come back do not come back in 00:17:31.079 --> 00:17:34.759 and we didn't have the toys like my kids do You 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.220 know, you just made stuff up you've got your 00:17:37.220 --> 00:17:40.599 bikes out or you played imaginary stuff or take 00:17:40.599 --> 00:17:43.920 the BB gun out into the woods and now I watch 00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:46.920 like my kids have a whole chest full of toys 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.859 to play outside and they get they use the phrase 00:17:49.859 --> 00:17:52.559 I'm bored and don't know what to do and I'm like 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:54.640 y 'all have more toys than I could have thought 00:17:54.640 --> 00:18:00.160 about having and you're bored go outside and 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:05.119 find some so I mean it's just it's it's difference 00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:08.140 of where we're at in today's world versus when 00:18:08.140 --> 00:18:10.259 I was growing up and so I feel like you have 00:18:10.259 --> 00:18:14.079 to be much more intentional a dad today of you 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:16.599 know making sure they are spending time it's 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:19.940 like Okay, even being here today. I know Kayla 00:18:19.940 --> 00:18:22.220 had her phone and I have to tell her We're not 00:18:22.220 --> 00:18:23.579 just because you're popping in is we don't need 00:18:23.579 --> 00:18:25.579 to have her phone. You're here to spend time 00:18:25.579 --> 00:18:28.319 with them That's what's more important. We don't 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.200 need your phone your phone can You can play with 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:32.859 it going up and down the road. That's whatever 00:18:32.859 --> 00:18:38.140 but I think I think you just made a good point 00:18:38.140 --> 00:18:42.799 a while ago as far as We don't make that a priority 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:46.240 as much We know more about spending time on a 00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:48.859 phone than we do face -to -face communication 00:18:48.859 --> 00:18:52.960 and conversation We don't know how to have those 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:58.279 conversations We don't even know this just some 00:18:58.279 --> 00:19:01.339 stuff me and Amanda are going through even in 00:19:01.339 --> 00:19:06.480 the church world We don't even know how to disagree 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:13.180 and still hang out together as far as if you 00:19:13.180 --> 00:19:15.500 have different beliefs than I do, that becomes 00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:19.940 an issue to some people. And that just shouldn't 00:19:19.940 --> 00:19:22.380 be. We should be able to have disagreements and 00:19:22.380 --> 00:19:31.539 still have a relationship. I was going to throw 00:19:31.539 --> 00:19:35.480 mine at you. I remembered it. I got you before 00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:38.970 you got me. What was I saying now say when you 00:19:38.970 --> 00:19:41.390 get old you forget what you were saying about? 00:19:41.910 --> 00:19:44.029 Disagreeing and you could still get along, but 00:19:44.029 --> 00:19:45.630 yeah, I mean you ought to be able to disagree 00:19:45.630 --> 00:19:49.130 and then after you get food That's watered under 00:19:49.130 --> 00:19:52.670 the bridge now now. Let's go on Not hold it against 00:19:52.670 --> 00:19:55.109 you. You know six months later and say you remember 00:19:55.109 --> 00:19:59.430 on this date when you said this yeah disagree 00:19:59.430 --> 00:20:02.369 and then move on move on still love each other 00:20:02.369 --> 00:20:07.119 and go on Just that something you just don't 00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:10.519 see that a lot in today's not just in church 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:13.440 and politics and just everything I told Amanda 00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:16.799 the other day I said her dad even made a statement 00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:18.619 said you know it's two things you never talk 00:20:18.619 --> 00:20:22.900 about is religion and politics and I told Amanda 00:20:22.900 --> 00:20:24.799 I said you know I said the sad thing is I said 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:28.039 we're always told You don't talk about religion, 00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:30.200 and you don't talk about politics yet. That's 00:20:30.200 --> 00:20:33.529 the two things that everybody needs to have But 00:20:33.529 --> 00:20:35.230 yet we're told not to talk about it because it 00:20:35.230 --> 00:20:41.410 causes too much division I'm like that's problematic 00:20:41.410 --> 00:20:50.329 Religion I mean I Mean I guess I guess like say 00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:52.950 like you go to the church that you go to now 00:20:52.950 --> 00:20:55.470 When I was growing up it was you know you went 00:20:55.470 --> 00:20:58.509 this way this way this way, but now it's you 00:20:58.509 --> 00:21:01.019 kind of adapt And I'm not saying the Word of 00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:02.859 God changes, but I mean now you've got to kind 00:21:02.859 --> 00:21:05.859 of find more ways, more creative ways to get 00:21:05.859 --> 00:21:09.660 young people to come to the church. Because if 00:21:09.660 --> 00:21:12.019 they don't come to the church, then they're going 00:21:12.019 --> 00:21:13.660 to be out here like we're around here where I 00:21:13.660 --> 00:21:14.799 live. They're going to be walking up and down 00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:18.140 the roads at night and trying to get us for a 00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:20.740 crack or meth or whatever they can get their 00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:28.720 hands on to get them to the next day. In politics, 00:21:28.940 --> 00:21:30.839 I wouldn't touch that with a 10 -foot pole myself. 00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:34.240 I mean, you start something, and you're going 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:36.099 to have half the room over here saying this and 00:21:36.099 --> 00:21:38.359 half the room saying that. Nobody can agree. 00:21:39.460 --> 00:21:43.660 And it's sad. It's sad. I mean, we're all in 00:21:43.660 --> 00:21:48.119 this country together. But I think, and this 00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:51.140 is just my personal opinion, the politicians 00:21:51.140 --> 00:21:53.500 that get up there and make it a career thing, 00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:55.980 they don't care. They don't care. They just want. 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:58.740 to do their thing and 20 years later get out 00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:02.099 and retire as millionaires and yeah you know 00:22:02.099 --> 00:22:03.900 if they would do what they say they're going 00:22:03.900 --> 00:22:05.740 to do you know the country be in a better shape 00:22:05.740 --> 00:22:08.160 you know they can't agree on nothing so it's 00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:11.099 like you know the citizens nobody can agree on 00:22:11.099 --> 00:22:13.880 nothing in it i mean it's a sad sad shape of 00:22:13.880 --> 00:22:16.759 the country but i don't know how you fix it i'll 00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:21.099 put it that way well and that that's that goes 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:23.500 back to what i read a while ago And again, I 00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:25.339 don't have the answers to this, but you think 00:22:25.339 --> 00:22:28.140 back to the verse I felt like we were going to 00:22:28.140 --> 00:22:38.180 open up with and go back to, as a father, you're 00:22:38.180 --> 00:22:40.720 called to shape, study, and launch your children 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:50.799 into God -given destinies. How do men today And 00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:53.119 I even ask this myself, and this is a prayer 00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:56.059 that me and Amanda pray. We try to pray as a 00:22:56.059 --> 00:23:00.119 family every morning. And it's something I consistently 00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:04.000 pray that God will give us as their mom and dad 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:09.180 the wisdom to know how to raise them. Because, 00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:13.400 and you know, having me and Courtney, but even 00:23:13.400 --> 00:23:17.980 just having two kids, I have three. Each kid 00:23:17.980 --> 00:23:20.519 is not the same. No. You can't handle, like, 00:23:20.619 --> 00:23:23.660 I can't handle Trinity like I do Kalen. No. They're 00:23:23.660 --> 00:23:28.859 different personalities. And so as a dad right 00:23:28.859 --> 00:23:31.980 now, my prayer is that he would help me and give 00:23:31.980 --> 00:23:34.839 not just me but Amanda also the wisdom to see 00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:38.240 their different qualities and to know how to 00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:42.700 raise them appropriately as their individuals. 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:50.940 But how do you? I go back to the question that 00:23:50.940 --> 00:23:53.680 I have lingering is how do you get men to, how 00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:56.160 do you help other men do that and to see that 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:58.900 and to see the importance of the children are 00:23:58.900 --> 00:24:01.579 not just possessions but like that verse talked 00:24:01.579 --> 00:24:05.339 about their arrows in your back. Like you know 00:24:05.339 --> 00:24:10.339 I'm sitting here I'll be your legacy. I am your 00:24:10.339 --> 00:24:12.519 legacy now but I'll be your legacy moving on 00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:15.759 even to how I raised Aidan. Like, there's something 00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:17.579 different, I love all my kids the same, but there's 00:24:17.579 --> 00:24:19.319 something different about having a little boy 00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:22.039 that changes your perspective just a little bit. 00:24:22.220 --> 00:24:25.539 Yeah. And I didn't, I would have never said that 00:24:25.539 --> 00:24:28.259 if I hadn't had Aiden, but there's just something 00:24:28.259 --> 00:24:32.339 different with the boy. As you know, the boys 00:24:32.339 --> 00:24:36.519 want to carry on. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know 00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:38.700 how to explain that. I don't want that to sound 00:24:38.700 --> 00:24:43.420 like a deep... devalue the girls. Carry on the 00:24:43.420 --> 00:24:46.900 cobbler name. The girls will get married and 00:24:46.900 --> 00:24:48.160 their name will change. They're still going to 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:51.559 be your babies. There's always going to be that 00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:58.119 next line of cobblers as long as Aiden. I'm not 00:24:58.119 --> 00:25:00.440 saying in any kind of way that I devalue my girls, 00:25:00.799 --> 00:25:05.240 but there's something different to that. And 00:25:05.240 --> 00:25:11.190 how do you not just see them as I guess being 00:25:11.190 --> 00:25:13.430 working in places like I have in the customer 00:25:13.430 --> 00:25:16.509 service and you see parents coming with the kids 00:25:16.509 --> 00:25:18.309 and it almost just looked like a burden that 00:25:18.309 --> 00:25:22.049 they had to get there. And how do you break that 00:25:22.049 --> 00:25:25.410 off of men to help them see that how important 00:25:25.410 --> 00:25:30.069 it is to have these kids and to be not into the 00:25:30.069 --> 00:25:34.289 cell phone and the... I still enjoy playing video 00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:37.269 games just as much. I'll take...Mando will tell 00:25:37.269 --> 00:25:39.890 you I take my hits to where I turn on the Xbox 00:25:39.890 --> 00:25:41.569 and I may take a week and that's when I come 00:25:41.569 --> 00:25:44.309 home from work and I want to play video games. 00:25:45.029 --> 00:25:46.910 Just because I want to beat this game for the 00:25:46.910 --> 00:25:50.930 sixth time. So I take those moments, but then 00:25:50.930 --> 00:25:54.210 after a while I'm like, eh, I'm over this. And 00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:55.970 during that time the girls would be like, oh 00:25:55.970 --> 00:25:58.069 daddy's playing the game, we get to watch him. 00:25:58.849 --> 00:26:00.710 And I don't know what it is about it, they love 00:26:00.710 --> 00:26:04.380 to watch me play the video game. And now... I 00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:08.900 have that little disk thing. Well now I got the 00:26:08.900 --> 00:26:11.440 new stuff where it has the N64 and they can play 00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:13.880 Mario Kart with me. They like playing all those 00:26:13.880 --> 00:26:18.660 games and different stuff. But then to get past 00:26:18.660 --> 00:26:23.180 that and to be intentional about being involved 00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:25.759 in their life and then turning the screens off 00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:30.720 and like we started something new two weeks ago, 00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:35.980 kind of little It's a 52 week journey of just 00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:38.259 going through scriptures together and devotionals 00:26:38.259 --> 00:26:41.079 and So we've started reading scriptures together 00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:44.440 and then asking them After reading the scripture, 00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:47.819 what did you get out of this? Yeah and realizing 00:26:47.819 --> 00:26:53.460 what the kid can come up with you just I was 00:26:53.460 --> 00:26:56.039 like and the key and the kids you think you know 00:26:56.039 --> 00:27:00.400 You think you're not listening you in a whole 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.059 different room And then you can be out in public 00:27:03.059 --> 00:27:06.940 somewhere. And dear God, the stuff that you can 00:27:06.940 --> 00:27:10.180 say to embarrass the parent at any given time. 00:27:10.660 --> 00:27:12.759 Like, oh my God, I didn't know they heard that. 00:27:16.500 --> 00:27:18.940 You think they're not listening and paying attention 00:27:18.940 --> 00:27:22.559 to what your daddy's doing? They are. You may 00:27:22.559 --> 00:27:24.900 think it, but just be careful what you're doing. 00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:31.470 I guess it's just how do you get men to... Realize 00:27:31.470 --> 00:27:35.190 their importance well the more the more stuff 00:27:35.190 --> 00:27:38.789 like you're doing here. I think the more You 00:27:38.789 --> 00:27:41.130 know say like somebody's listening to this now 00:27:41.130 --> 00:27:48.930 if they hear us admitting Then maybe they'll 00:27:48.930 --> 00:27:51.109 say you know that sounds like me maybe I need 00:27:51.109 --> 00:27:55.309 to maybe I need to just take time and Serious 00:27:55.309 --> 00:27:58.150 sit down with you know my son my daughter my 00:27:58.150 --> 00:28:01.250 wife and just say you know, this, what, my guess, 00:28:01.289 --> 00:28:04.529 but I'm gonna try to be, you know, with God's 00:28:04.529 --> 00:28:08.109 help, a better person. And then maybe, you know, 00:28:08.529 --> 00:28:11.210 if they sit down and do it, then maybe their 00:28:11.210 --> 00:28:13.369 son, daughter, whatever, then, you know, or maybe 00:28:13.369 --> 00:28:14.930 they'll get to telling somebody at work, you 00:28:14.930 --> 00:28:18.529 know, I sit down and, you know, word of mouth, 00:28:18.529 --> 00:28:23.150 I guess, is the best way to do it. I think the 00:28:23.150 --> 00:28:26.210 conversation's a big part of it, yeah. And again, 00:28:26.230 --> 00:28:29.799 like you said, the ability for me to admit I 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:33.599 got it wrong. Opens up the door for another man 00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:36.640 to say, well, if you can say that, then I can 00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:41.400 say that. Right. So I don't know how long we've 00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:42.680 been going. We've probably been going at least 00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:47.000 30, 40 minutes already. OK. No question time. 00:28:47.539 --> 00:28:50.839 I'll try to. Can I phone a friend on these? No. 00:28:52.619 --> 00:28:57.559 I'll try to. I highlighted five that I wanted 00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:01.420 to roll through. we'll see if we hit all five 00:29:01.420 --> 00:29:03.259 based off time I don't really have a time frame 00:29:03.259 --> 00:29:09.920 but in your view what is the core purpose of 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:20.400 fatherhood from a biblical standpoint I would 00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:22.720 say to take up to take that child that God blessed 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:27.210 you with and do everything that you can to raise 00:29:27.210 --> 00:29:33.930 them up for the next generation to carry on not 00:29:33.930 --> 00:29:37.109 so much what you want them to do, but what God 00:29:37.109 --> 00:29:41.970 wants them to do. To teach them to be a, you 00:29:41.970 --> 00:29:46.109 know, a helper or a good person to help people 00:29:46.109 --> 00:29:50.049 in need, not just pass them by, but to just kind 00:29:50.049 --> 00:29:56.089 of, you know, Just kind of be there for others 00:29:56.089 --> 00:29:58.990 when they need it. To me, when I hear you say 00:29:58.990 --> 00:30:02.630 that, be compassionate. Yeah. Don't just be somebody 00:30:02.630 --> 00:30:05.329 else to do it. No. Take time and take time for 00:30:05.329 --> 00:30:09.730 somebody and if you overhear somebody in the 00:30:09.730 --> 00:30:11.769 McDonald's line or something saying... You'd 00:30:11.769 --> 00:30:14.430 be the solution. Yeah. Take time and say, hey, 00:30:14.730 --> 00:30:17.170 I wouldn't be a nosy, but I overheard and how 00:30:17.170 --> 00:30:24.509 can I help? What can I do? That's good. Why do 00:30:24.509 --> 00:30:28.789 you think fatherhood is under so much attack 00:30:28.789 --> 00:30:34.549 in today's world? Because the daddy, I think, 00:30:34.869 --> 00:30:38.369 is supposed to be the head of the house. And 00:30:38.369 --> 00:30:42.410 if the devil can get the daddy into anything 00:30:42.410 --> 00:30:45.289 else, like going to the store and buying him 00:30:45.289 --> 00:30:50.029 a six pack of beer or cigarettes or looking at 00:30:50.029 --> 00:30:51.390 something on the internet that he shouldn't be 00:30:51.390 --> 00:30:53.740 looking at. you know, talking to somebody that 00:30:53.740 --> 00:30:58.059 shouldn't be taken out, then, like I said, the 00:30:58.059 --> 00:30:59.759 daddy's the head of the house, and if he can 00:30:59.759 --> 00:31:04.079 take out the head of the house, he can ruin the 00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:09.559 whole household. That's good. So, next three, 00:31:12.539 --> 00:31:14.960 just take where you've come from, for example, 00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:20.950 when I was little to now. What are the foundational 00:31:20.950 --> 00:31:24.670 values or truths that every father should build 00:31:24.670 --> 00:31:33.950 on? You had a group of men sitting here who were 00:31:33.950 --> 00:31:39.750 struggling to be a dad, been through all we've 00:31:39.750 --> 00:31:42.950 been through. You've got to be honest with yourself 00:31:42.950 --> 00:31:45.529 first. That's good, yeah. You've got to be honest 00:31:45.529 --> 00:31:48.440 with yourself. And if you look at yourself in 00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:51.119 the mirror, you know that there's something there 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:55.339 that you're doing wrong. And as hard as it might 00:31:55.339 --> 00:31:58.759 be, you've got to take the time to say, OK, I'm 00:31:58.759 --> 00:32:01.759 messing up here, and then ask, how do I fix it? 00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:06.539 And then you've got to be able to go out and 00:32:06.539 --> 00:32:09.819 not only apply what changes did you come up with, 00:32:11.319 --> 00:32:13.740 but you've got to make sure those changes don't 00:32:14.950 --> 00:32:17.930 Fall back the first time something bad comes 00:32:17.930 --> 00:32:24.569 along you don't you don't? revert revert back 00:32:24.569 --> 00:32:28.450 to The old person that you used to be just because 00:32:28.450 --> 00:32:35.089 things didn't go your way And then I Would say 00:32:35.089 --> 00:32:36.710 you got you got to be trusting you got to be 00:32:36.710 --> 00:32:39.450 able to trust your wife I mean you got you yourself 00:32:39.450 --> 00:32:42.589 has got to be trustworthy And if you're out here 00:32:42.589 --> 00:32:46.079 if you're out here doing God knows what, and 00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:48.779 hiding stuff, it's not going to work. I've been 00:32:48.779 --> 00:32:51.960 there, done that. Not going to work. So you think 00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:56.519 nobody else sees it, but God does. And I think 00:32:56.519 --> 00:33:00.720 to add to what you said, you said be honest with 00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:07.240 yourself and ask how do you fix this. I think 00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:08.920 the other part of that too was understanding 00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:12.839 you can't fix you by yourself. No. That's and 00:33:12.839 --> 00:33:14.539 that's a lot of problem. That's another problem. 00:33:14.539 --> 00:33:16.519 I think we kind of get into is me and we think 00:33:16.519 --> 00:33:19.740 we can do it all alone And he wasn't created 00:33:19.740 --> 00:33:23.299 to do that and and I mean you might get so far 00:33:23.299 --> 00:33:25.119 But there's gonna come a point in time that you 00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:27.460 just you just throw your hands up and say I just 00:33:27.460 --> 00:33:29.720 I can't take it no more And I've been there. 00:33:29.740 --> 00:33:31.779 I have been there. I have been up on the hill. 00:33:33.559 --> 00:33:37.720 Yep Probably shouldn't say this because I'll 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:40.779 say it anyway in there to that point use your 00:33:40.779 --> 00:33:43.529 mic that I have been up on the hill with my grannies 00:33:43.529 --> 00:33:46.309 with a pistol in my hand, sitting by a little 00:33:46.309 --> 00:33:49.910 fire that I built. And I said, I just can't take 00:33:49.910 --> 00:33:54.430 it no more. And I had the gun in my hand, and 00:33:54.430 --> 00:33:57.150 I was going to do it, and I just couldn't do 00:33:57.150 --> 00:34:00.730 it. Every time I tried, I thought of something, 00:34:01.750 --> 00:34:05.069 and then I couldn't do it. So I'm sitting here 00:34:05.069 --> 00:34:09.010 at the coldest point of the coldest date we had 00:34:09.010 --> 00:34:12.110 all year. And all I had was a little tarp and 00:34:12.110 --> 00:34:15.190 a little sleeping bag. So I laid down when I 00:34:15.190 --> 00:34:17.389 couldn't do it and let my fire go out. I woke 00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:19.650 up and I had frostbite. And the only reason I 00:34:19.650 --> 00:34:22.969 woke up was I heard a donkey, of all things, 00:34:23.289 --> 00:34:26.949 braying somewhere nearby. And I woke up and I 00:34:26.949 --> 00:34:30.650 had frostbite all over me. I ended up with pneumonia. 00:34:32.389 --> 00:34:35.030 And, you know, you can't do it alone. I mean, 00:34:35.070 --> 00:34:38.050 you'll get to that point where you just, I don't 00:34:38.050 --> 00:34:40.940 know. Or I did. Anyway, somebody else did it 00:34:40.940 --> 00:34:44.800 a better way. And if you let it get to that point, 00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:48.099 sometimes it's hard to come back from. So when 00:34:48.099 --> 00:34:50.579 you know that you can't do it in your heart, 00:34:50.940 --> 00:34:54.099 reach out to another man. Say, hey, look, can 00:34:54.099 --> 00:34:57.360 I talk to you a minute? Don't feel like you're 00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:01.400 less of a man because you're asking for help. 00:35:02.340 --> 00:35:03.760 I mean, that's only going to make you stronger 00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:06.539 when you realize that you have it. That you need 00:35:06.539 --> 00:35:09.800 it. It'll make you stronger as a person And then 00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:12.039 the next time you won't get to that point again 00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:24.400 with those you already have that Now I think 00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:27.719 you answered it pretty good And I'm gonna ask 00:35:27.719 --> 00:35:29.659 this one, but I feel like this one may just go 00:35:29.659 --> 00:35:32.880 into what you just answered and I feel you may 00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:35.110 have already answered this really but If you 00:35:35.110 --> 00:35:38.710 could instill one spiritual truth into every 00:35:38.710 --> 00:35:43.389 father's heart, what would it be? Love. Love. 00:35:46.349 --> 00:35:48.989 The more love you've got in you, then the less 00:35:48.989 --> 00:35:51.409 junk that you're going to have in you. By junk 00:35:51.409 --> 00:35:58.349 I mean, junk. Literally junk. Drugs, beer, alcohol, 00:35:58.590 --> 00:36:02.550 women. More more love that you can put in there 00:36:02.550 --> 00:36:04.670 the more love for your family the more love for 00:36:04.670 --> 00:36:08.769 your friends or strangers In the last room is 00:36:08.769 --> 00:36:10.829 there is in there problem that don't belong. 00:36:12.150 --> 00:36:25.789 Yeah All right last question see see No, no, 00:36:26.289 --> 00:36:30.349 so what encouragement would you offer to a man 00:36:30.349 --> 00:36:35.190 who feels unequipped to be a good father? And 00:36:35.190 --> 00:36:38.130 before you speak, I'm going to adjust your mic. 00:36:43.070 --> 00:36:49.010 To just try to be there. There's no manual, there's 00:36:49.010 --> 00:36:52.210 no playbook for being a daddy, for being a father. 00:36:53.329 --> 00:36:56.449 But just try to make every effort that you can 00:36:56.449 --> 00:36:59.050 to be there for your... for your kids. I mean, 00:36:59.210 --> 00:37:02.110 like you said, the little things, you being there 00:37:02.110 --> 00:37:04.269 for the little things, that's what they'll remember. 00:37:04.869 --> 00:37:06.949 They want so much to remember. You might go out 00:37:06.949 --> 00:37:09.730 and try to buy them the biggest toy in the world 00:37:09.730 --> 00:37:11.869 or the most expensive toy in the world. They'll 00:37:11.869 --> 00:37:14.030 play with that for a couple weeks and then they'll 00:37:14.030 --> 00:37:17.150 be like, what's next? What can I have next? Just 00:37:17.150 --> 00:37:19.750 be there. Be there for the little stuff. Be there 00:37:19.750 --> 00:37:21.849 for their t -ball. Be there, you know, like when 00:37:21.849 --> 00:37:24.530 you was doing track. I wasn't there for a lot 00:37:24.530 --> 00:37:27.719 of that. Just just be there as a parent be there 00:37:27.719 --> 00:37:30.099 as a daddy and let them see you there. Let them 00:37:30.099 --> 00:37:33.440 see you, you know being the person that you should 00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:36.519 be and everything else to kind of work its way 00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:39.360 out you just just make it make the effort to 00:37:39.360 --> 00:37:42.320 be there and and Stop worrying about being the 00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:44.099 perfect parent because there is no such thing. 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:45.960 There's one thing you're gonna make a mistake 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:48.619 Yeah, your kids gonna get mad at you. Yeah, they're 00:37:48.619 --> 00:37:50.599 gonna say things that you want to hurt your feelings 00:37:50.599 --> 00:37:52.800 Yeah, but just continue to be there be their 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:54.679 parent You don't have to be their best friend 00:37:54.679 --> 00:37:57.619 all the time. At some point, you've got to be 00:37:57.619 --> 00:38:02.360 the parent. But just be there and let them know 00:38:02.360 --> 00:38:06.039 that you love them. And I think they'll remember 00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:10.400 that. It may not be tomorrow, but like you said 00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:15.400 earlier, years later, when they got kids of their 00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:17.099 own, they'll say, you know what? I remember Daddy 00:38:17.099 --> 00:38:21.340 telling me that. He wasn't stupid. He knew what 00:38:21.340 --> 00:38:26.130 he was talking about. You know so yeah, I guess 00:38:26.130 --> 00:38:29.070 that's what I'd say like it. I think that's a 00:38:29.070 --> 00:38:32.550 good way to Close out again. I don't know how 00:38:32.550 --> 00:38:34.710 long we've been going probably close to an hour 00:38:34.710 --> 00:38:38.929 now Someone asked you to do what I like to ask 00:38:38.929 --> 00:38:42.969 anybody interview to do To throw you on the spot 00:38:42.969 --> 00:38:45.969 if you're comfortable with it But just to close 00:38:45.969 --> 00:38:51.280 out can you pray for any men listening? Dear 00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:52.719 Heavenly Father, Lord, we come to you, Lord. 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:54.940 We just want to thank you, Lord, for everything 00:38:54.940 --> 00:38:57.679 that you do for us every day, Lord. We just want 00:38:57.679 --> 00:38:59.940 to thank you for saving our souls, Lord. We just 00:38:59.940 --> 00:39:01.960 want to pray for each man out there, each father. 00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:03.840 We want to be father, Lord, and just pray that 00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:05.639 you just guide them, give them the knowledge 00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:08.000 that they need, Lord, and just lift them up to 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:10.500 you, Lord, and help them, Lord, to grow spiritually, 00:39:10.940 --> 00:39:13.159 and just help them to love their kids, Lord, 00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:14.920 and love their family, and be there for them, 00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:17.099 Lord, and just guide them in every step of the 00:39:17.099 --> 00:39:18.980 way, Lord. It's in your name we ask and pray. 00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:22.730 Amen. man alright guys till next time