Hello and welcome back to HeadWay. Today, senior Emmy Mitchell sits down with our interim head of school, Ricky Lapidus, and talks about the magic of his emails, leading Head-Royce, and what he was like before he was the one making the rules. Ricky brings years of experience as an educator and leader, including serving as Head of Upper School here at Head-Royce. But what comes through most in this conversation is his love for the school, his sense of perspective, and his willingness to be both thoughtful, silly, and self-aware. Especially when reflecting on his own time in school. In this conversation, Emmy takes him from his path in education to his own high school experiences, including a few moments that didn't exactly make it into the official bio. It's candid, occasionally unexpected, and well worth a listen. Hi, Mr. Lapidus. Hi Emmy. It's so nice to see you here at the Head-Royce School in Oakland, California. Like we don't every day, but that's wonderful. All right, I have a couple questions for you today. Very casual, very fun, very fluid. This one I like to start with, kind of broad. What brings you joy? speaker-1 (00:20) Puppies. Puppies are good. I'm pro puppies. I like takeout. I like binging a good HBO Max vehicle. speaker-0 (00:29) Okay, yeah. I'm loving HBO Max right now. speaker-1 (00:33) have thoughts on streaming services we can get into later and like what my rankings are and things like that if you want to do that sort of thing speaker-0 (00:38) Well, just give me your all-time number one streaming platform. speaker-1 (00:43) So it actually is HBO. Like, HBO changed the game with The Sopranos, which is not that it's my favorite show, but it made television profoundly different. And I'm a prestige TV guy. Not that I'm on prestige TV, but hashtag ought to be. ⁓ Yeah. speaker-0 (00:57) right, we can make that happen, probably. speaker-1 (01:00) Can we? Well, maybe not, but. speaker-0 (01:03) We'll see. Any of you listeners got some connections? speaker-1 (01:06) Anybody out there like in the biz? Emmy and I are looking for starring roles. Am I allowed to ask you questions, Emmy, in this podcast? Okay. Do you see TV in your future? speaker-0 (01:10) Yeah, essentially. Sure. Well my mom works in TV. She did a lot of pieces with me and my brother growing up. So I don't think that's in my future, but it's definitely in my past. speaker-1 (01:27) Okay, we'll get into that in our next therapy session with Emmy Mitchell. speaker-0 (01:33) Alright, okay, so if you had to describe your leadership style in three words, what would they be? speaker-1 (01:40) Dictatorial, aggro, and domineering. I'm sure that's the vibe that I'm giving out. My leadership style in three other words. I don't know. Relational, joyful. ⁓ A lot of hashtags. I use a lot of hashtags in my leadership style. speaker-0 (01:44) Right, right. Retweet. Hashtag leader. Okay, so when I was trying to come up with some questions last night. I feel like I know you pretty well. The whole point of this is for other people who don't know you that well to get to know you. So I crowdsourced some questions. So if you are okay with it, let's go through some student questions. And they can be a little rapid fire. Okay. You love quoting niche movies. So. Tiffany in 9th grade wants to know, if you could only communicate in movie quotes for the rest of your life, what movie would you choose to quote from? speaker-1 (02:32) Wow, okay Tiffany, thank you for this opportunity. I'm stalling a little bit, but definitely The Usual suspects would be up there. speaker-0 (02:38) Yes, I just watched that for the first time this year. Right. It's like, wow. speaker-1 (02:43) Kind of an important moment for me. Not that you watched, I that I watched it. I mean, I sort of important that you watched as well. Hashtag proud of you. The Royal Tenenbaums. speaker-0 (02:51) Hashtag thanks. Okay, never even heard of that. speaker-1 (02:56) Okay, we have to pause the podcast and go watch The Royal Tenenbaums. I have complex feelings about Wes Anderson, which we can get into another time, but the Royal Tenenbaums was a really, really big deal in my life. So I would quote that. Boomerang, Eddie Murphy vehicle, which I can do quite a lot of. Fletch. speaker-0 (03:15) You're the same age as my mom, so you have a lot of the same... ⁓ great. Yeah, basically. And so yeah, Eddie Murphy is a regular, in our house. Do you know "Lemonade, that cool, refreshing drink." speaker-1 (03:18) Oh, your mom's 35 also? as well he ought to be. speaker-0 (03:32) Okay, Olivia in 12th grade wants to know. She just dropped me off outside. ⁓ How would you feel about the nickname "Lappy D" if she were to coin that? speaker-1 (03:34) I know her. I know Olivia. I've had worse. Generally in terms of nicknames, I'm okay with that. speaker-0 (03:48) Got it. All right, Ayumi in 10th grade wants to know, if you were a high schooler today, what would your Instagram handle be? speaker-1 (03:54) I'm thinking that's a fabulous question. It used to be like, what's your wifi network name? But this is better. What's my Instagram handle? LappyCakes. speaker-0 (04:05) Lappy cakes, okay, not Lappy D. speaker-1 (04:08) I mean, I like cake. So, LappyCakes. speaker-0 (04:10) Yeah. I don't know. Would you have like a cupcake business or like Justin K. Bakes style? speaker-1 (04:17) JK Bakes is hard to keep up with. That dude makes a lot of money. And actually, he used to offer stuff to me for free. I don't know if that's something we shouldn't talk about. I was his teacher at the time so now that I think about it, may... Well, if you've had JK Bakes, Head Royce community, you'll know why it was a useful bribe. No, I'm more of like a taker than a giver. So I like to eat cupcakes and whatnot, but I'm not much of a baker myself. speaker-0 (04:29) He's bribing you with marshmallow chocolate chip cookie. Me as well. speaker-1 (04:43) LappyCakes is an okay Instagram handle, but I'm not 100 % sure that that's mine for life yet. speaker-0 (04:49) I agree. That's maybe like a spam name. Yeah. Harper in ninth grade wants to know if you could make school lunch anything for a whole week, what would it be? Really? speaker-1 (04:51) That's my Finsta. jambalaya. Yeah, I really like our jambalaya. Although I like it better when they do it with rice. And I feel like yesterday they did a pasta jambalaya and I was like... speaker-0 (05:06) Hmm. No rice. It was very spicy yesterday. I can't handle spice so I was like Oh. how speaker-1 (05:11) disappointing for you. speaker-0 (05:12) Okay, all right, I'll let Harper know. Bryson in 11th grade wants to know your favorite dance move. speaker-1 (05:18) The Running Man. speaker-0 (05:20) And now he wants a demonstration. speaker-1 (05:22) Well, thank goodness this is a podcast. speaker-0 (05:25) I think you should just run up to Bryson today and just like start Running Man. speaker-1 (05:29) I saw Bryson walking on his hands on the patio yesterday and there was a part of me that was like, Bryson you're gonna hurt yourself and then there was a bigger part of me that was like, Bryson, so you stay on your hands as long as you can. speaker-0 (05:32) So did I. That's cool. Exactly. King. Hashtag King. Amelia in 10th grade wants to know if you could switch jobs with anyone at Head-Royce for a day, who would you switch with? speaker-1 (05:50) ⁓ I don't know. Bobby Gavin, Mic Jones, one the English teachers... speaker-0 (05:53) I you were going to say Bobby Gavin. I took Invisible Man, which was his English class this year, you sat in on it. Literally, as soon as she said, that's my question, it's going to be Mr. Gavin. speaker-1 (06:05) I mean, I really, really like what Elena and Marisa do in kindergarten and I think it's awesome. I just think I would be utter trash at it. I would get so flustered and sweaty so quickly. speaker-0 (06:15) I feel like your humor would just like fly over a kindergartener's head. speaker-1 (06:18) And it might be inappropriate. Let's make some good decisions about where Ricky should be located. Yeah. speaker-0 (06:23) Siwoo in 12th grade wants to know what you remember about students when they leave. speaker-1 (06:28) Thank you for asking, Siwoo. I remember many, many things about them. I remember who they dated. I remember what classes they did well in. I remember papers they've written. But weirdly, once in a while, I'll get stuck on a name for a second, and I'll have a total panic attack. And then once I have that, then everything comes flooding back. And I'm in touch with kids from 20 years ago and 25 years ago and things like that. And just with the tiniest bit of prompting, I'm like, oh my god, you were the one who X, Y, and Z. Yeah. So tell Siwoo It's all in the vault, but it's up there. speaker-0 (06:56) Mm-hmm, totally. I will let her know. Ava in 10th grade wants to know your favorite student essay you've ever read and why. speaker-1 (07:08) Emma Horwitz was probably one of the, and she still knows this, and she's like 33 or something. She was probably the best writer I ever taught, at least off the top of my head that I can think of. And I remember a play she wrote that was fabulous. I don't know if I remember an essay she wrote that was fabulous. I tend to like people's memoirs and personal essays and things like that. You can write a kick butt essay on the green light in Gatsby, but so have a bunch of other people. So I like the personal stuff better. I don't have one that's springing to mind right now, but I do remember Emma's writing really, really well. speaker-0 (07:40) What made her writing so good? speaker-1 (07:42) She didn't do anything you were supposed to do. She thought the five paragraph essay was stupid. And I'm like, you know what? She might have a point. I mean, I remember she handed in a résumé as an essay. I'm not explaining it very well, but the essay was built into her resume. She was a memorable writer and she's done some playwriting and some screenwriting and stuff like that. And I don't think she's actually hit it big yet, but Emma, if you're out there listening in New York City, I hope you do. speaker-0 (08:05) Elyon in 6th grade wants to know your favorite thing about being head of school. speaker-1 (08:11) Sometimes people just give you food. I don't know if they think I'm wasting away or whatnot. Nobody gave me food last year and now I'll be walking down a hallway and children will offer me food. JK Bakes, perfect example. speaker-0 (08:19) Justin K. Banks is like... Callie in 4th grade wants to know your favorite sport. speaker-1 (08:28) So the sport that I was best at, not surprisingly, was basketball. Like if you look at me, probably could tell that. No, I was probably best at soccer, but what I would like to be best at now is tennis. And I'm not that good. Me But I'm passionate. speaker-0 (08:43) It's okay. That's good. Have you seen a game of Chaboi Gentlemen's Racquet Club yet? speaker-1 (08:50) I have not seen a spring one yet. I keep looking for them and they're not to be found. speaker-0 (08:53) I haven't had home games for a Yeah, they are not. They've been on the road. Henry in 3rd grade wants to know if you will give him 50 "million billion" dollars? speaker-1 (09:06) I will. Yes, Henry. I will. Do you want that in cash or is it like a stock option and Jayhawk stock of some sort that you would like? But Henry, I believe that your financial security is on its way. speaker-0 (09:20) His follow-up was, what's your Venmo? So. speaker-1 (09:25) It's @LappyCakes. That's what we call a callback in the biz. speaker-0 (09:30) There you go, hashtag callback. An unnamed freshman whose name starts with J and rhymes with schmuniper wants to know how many of your friends have gone to clown school? speaker-1 (09:39) Okay, all right, we're just gonna talk about this. Well, fine, we'll just talk about this. Juniper, if you don't know, is my offspring ...among my offspring, it makes it sound more bounteous. There's only three offspring. Juniper met Mark, who did go to clown school. He did go to high school with me. I think the word friend is a little loose to her there. Yes, she met Mark and she claims he said, "Don't go to college, go to clown school like I did." He only slept underneath her bed for a few days. I don't know why she's so sensitive about it. But yeah, it's just Mark Indick he is a professional clown. speaker-0 (10:15) This sounds like a Modern Family plot. There's a storyline where someone's a clown and he would fit right in. speaker-1 (10:22) I do like Modern Family. Can we talk about sitcoms for a second? speaker-0 (10:25) Yes, Modern Family is my all-time favorite. So what's yours? speaker-1 (10:28) It was good comfort food during COVID. I kind of like Arrested Development. I'm kind of a G.O.B. Bluth guy. Not in terms of my own way I carry myself, but you know, just interests. I loved Seinfeld for many, many years, of course. What else do I really, really... Oh, well, Veep. speaker-0 (10:33) That's very on speaker-1 (10:45) So Julia Louis-Dreyfus, she's my queen. If I could invite somebody to come speak at graduation this year who would take me up on it, she probably won't take me up on it--I don't know the woman. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a phenomenal actress and... speaker-0 (10:58) She's amazing. She made Seinfeld, in my opinion. Yeah. speaker-1 (11:01) And she was so young when it started. So, Emmy, you're not over the hill. There's a future for you out there. That's what I wanted to lead up to. speaker-0 (11:09) Good, good, glad. Okay, Benny in 7th grade wants to know your favorite song of all time. I knew you were gonna say that, wow. speaker-1 (11:14) Benny and the Jets by Elton John. And I actually taught a Benny a gazillion years ago who if you are a US men's national soccer team fan, his name is Benny Feilhaber and he played for the men's team and when he was like six he was better than I was and I used to sing Benny and the Jets to him. So Benny, Head-Royce Benny, if you're out there listening and if you're a soccer player, I guess the lesson is that I can make you on the national team is what I'm taking away. speaker-0 (11:41) You just have to find him in the hallway. I think he was wearing a soccer jersey actually when I saw him. speaker-1 (11:46) Do think it's the Benny that I knew before and it's like a Benjamin Button situation and he's getting younger? Yes. That would be so cool. Come to the Head-Royce School, we'll de-age you. speaker-0 (11:53) and Right, right, that's a promise we can make. Okay, Bill Tilson had a lot of questions, but he really wanted to know what made you go into education? speaker-1 (12:08) I had some health problems when I was in 7th grade and Mr. Rose was my English teacher and he was the most gentle, thoughtful, kind person and I could hang out in his room at lunch and we would talk about the Knicks and he looked like Kiki VanDeWeghe which is an old school cut if you're a real NBA head out there. And I just loved so much about Mr. Rose and I thought, maybe I'll become a teacher. speaker-0 (12:32) Wow, I love that. What has kept you in education? Because it's not an easy field to work in. speaker-1 (12:37) No, it's super easy, totally disagree. The kids are really funny and nice and warm and I love what I do for a living and I've never considered doing anything else. speaker-0 (12:44) Wow, very, very. speaker-1 (12:46) I mean except for, you know, like my acting career and like trying to get on the sitcom and Like a few other odds and ends but... speaker-0 (12:50) to What is a moment at school that made you stop and think, this is why I do this? speaker-1 (13:02) Tommy Orange was one of the Nia Speaker Series folks, and he was fabulous. And he said that he never found any books in high school that made him feel interested, seen, fired up. And I thought to myself, and this is totally arrogant, I wish Tommy had been my student. I bet I could have found something that he would like. So every once in a while, I have a kid like that, and I feel like I find something that they can connect to, or I can show them why. this 19th century novel or something is actually relevant to their lives and to the adults that they can become and to things that they do care about. I don't know if I have a perfect moment, but that's like my goal. speaker-0 (13:41) That's a really, really great moment, I think. Do you think you did that with Invisible Man at all last year? speaker-1 (13:49) I hope so. speaker-0 (13:51) I know multiple people who are like, that is my favorite book of all time after that class. speaker-1 (13:56) Yeah, so that's in my couple books that I really love teaching the most. So I put Ellison's Invisible Man, I put God of Small Things in there. Beloved, William Faulkner's novel, As I Lay Dying. speaker-0 (14:10) Visit from the Goon Squad, is that on the list? speaker-1 (14:12) So I love A Visit from the Goon Squad. I think it's in many ways the book that I reread as much as almost anything because it's kind of about lives that feel very similar to my own time period wise, the fragmentation, sometimes the importance of music and pop culture. It's bicoastal, which I never realized I would become a Californian and here I am. But I don't know that students need me to read that with them. I think that they can access it pretty fabulously without me. Whereas I feel like with God of Small Things or Beloved or one of those other novels I mentioned, we can do it better together than we can by ourselves. speaker-0 (14:46) That was the most interesting thing about the class Invisible Man was that I would read the passage and I'd be like, what is he talking about? And then Mr. Gavin would be like, "and then you didn't notice this, but this is a reference to this niche jazz singer from 100 years ago." And I never would have caught that ever in my life. Okay, vibe switch. My mom wants to know your favorite flies when you go fly fishing and who at Head-Royce each fly reminds you of. She has examples if you want. speaker-1 (15:15) I absolutely do want speaker-0 (15:18) The Parachute Adams. Who reminds you of a Parachute Adams fly? speaker-1 (15:22) Okay, so a Parachute Adams for those who don't know, like if you have a parachute Adams, like the world is your oyster, like you can do a lot with that fly. So I would say, I'm gonna go, such a strange question. I'm gonna go Linnea Ogden is kind of like a Parachute Adams. You could give Linnea any class of kids and they will connect with her and she will have so much fun and it'll work with everybody and they will work with her. speaker-0 (15:47) Okay, who reminds you of an Elk Hair Caddis? speaker-1 (15:51) Okay, so the Elk Hair Caddis is a very straightforward traditional fly. If skated, it can entice some aggressive strikes from fish. So I'm trying to think, okay, who's kind of like a traditional person, but when they can do a little shimmy. I'm gonna go with Chef Leo. Chef Leo is my Elk Hair Caddis. He can do all sorts of straightforward things, but sometimes he goes jambalaya. speaker-0 (16:03) okay, yes. Yes, One time he was teaching students how to open glass bottles with a spoon. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. speaker-1 (16:21) He can open things with all sorts of other things. He does it with his cell phone sometimes. I'm like, careful of that cell phone. Yeah, I think that's kind of like an Elk Hair Caddis. It looks like one thing, but man, those fish, they come fast and furious for it sometimes. speaker-0 (16:24) like the counter, the spoon, the- cheap. Totally. Who reminds you of a Chernobyl Ant? speaker-1 (16:43) Eric Taylor. That one was too easy. Mr. Taylor teaches middle school history for those of you out there who did not know that. He really likes fishing ants. He actually doesn't do the Chubby Chernobyl quite as much. That's what it's called. That's its full title. The Chubby Chernobyl. But when we're being really mysterious and like Manzanita and I fish with Mr. Taylor, Mr. Von and Mr. Walters, speaker-0 (16:57) I need to Google this I don't know what that looks like speaker-1 (17:06) somebody will yell you what are they eating? And Mr. Von thinks that people are listening who are not listening. And he will say "Sally's," by which he means like Aunt Sally, but he doesn't want to say the word aunt because somebody else might start fishing ants. But anyway, Mr. Taylor is like a Chubby Chernobyl. It looks one way. It creates a lot of fuss. And you never know what he is going to do. Just like what a fish is gonna do to that Chubby Chernobyl ant. speaker-0 (17:32) Wow, that is beautiful. He gave our 8th grade graduation speech and I have never laughed harder in my life and then immediately switched and I was like, whoa, life lesson right there. That was a 10 out of 10 speech. speaker-1 (17:44) There's a plug right there from Emmy Mitchell. Mr. Taylor is also speaking in our Spring Parent Conversation Series, he's going to talk about his teaching ethnic studies at San Quentin Prison this May. So hopefully, anybody who listens to this podcast might be able to come and listen to that. speaker-0 (17:57) hashtag shout out Mr. Taylor. Okay, new segment. speaker-1 (18:03) I could spend another hour and a half attaching teachers to flies speaker-0 (18:07) I think perfect comparison. You should just write people little thank you notes. You're like, to me you are the Chernobyl Ant Okay, now new something to do, true or false, except it's actually "Ricky Lapidus email or not Ricky Lapidus email." So you have to tell me if this is actually something you wrote, all right? speaker-1 (18:28) Oh gosh. speaker-0 (18:30) "Hi chat, that's a thing, right?" speaker-1 (18:33) 100 % I wrote that. speaker-0 (18:34) You did. "As my friends in Argentina say, au revoir for another year." speaker-1 (18:39) ⁓ I can't remember when, but I thought that was so funny, but nobody really responded to it. And I was like, did you not get the joke or is it just not that funny? speaker-0 (18:50) Subject line. I'll miss you most of all scarecrow." I don't remember. It was from the same email. speaker-1 (18:57) Well, you just gave it away. I don't remember writing that, but that does sound like me. speaker-0 (19:01) That was you, that was from Roscoe. speaker-1 (19:05) Oh...okay, well hang on a second then. Roscoe is an elf who, he "secrets" himself on Head-Royce's campus around the holidays. So I did not write that, Roscoe wrote that. Okay, but it might have come from my email. speaker-0 (19:17) Well, that's why I say it was from Roscoe. Yeah, right, exactly. It could have been played off as written by Ricky Lapidus, but it was Roscoe. Valid. Subject line. "Interview with a naked mole rat / reminder about drill." speaker-1 (19:34) I think I wrote that. speaker-0 (19:35) I know you wrote that because Miss Niles brings that up every time I talk about emails. speaker-1 (19:39) Is it because she doesn't like the way the naked mole rat looks? Or is it a word thing? speaker-0 (19:44) I think it was the personification of the naked mole rat. It was a back and forth, like, "Hey, should I bring a jacket to the fire drill?" And then you're like, "Why, yes, of course." Or the naked mole rat said, "Why, yes, of course. I'm a naked mole rat. I need a jacket. It's going to be chilly." And Miss Niles was like, ugh. speaker-1 (20:03) So I've had to get a little more serious in my emails in my new position and Ms. HollIman, our director of MarComm, I don't know how she would feel about my using the voice of the naked mole rat again, but we're probably gonna find out. Yeah. speaker-0 (20:16) Hey, why not try it? Oh this was a good one. "As I sit here trying to decide what my favorite version of the song, Romeo and Juliet is—Dire Straits, Indigo Girls, The Killers— it occurs to me to remind you all that you are being dismissed at 2:05 on Friday." speaker-1 (20:31) Well, we both 100 % know I wrote that and I did tell you about your dismissal time, but I had more important things on my mind. Totally. And there is a correct answer, I guess. I mean, ultimately it has to be the Dire Straits version. Okay. Yeah. I do like the Killers version. speaker-0 (20:42) Has to be. I feel like you're like a Killer's kind of guy. Is that an accurate statement? ⁓ speaker-1 (20:49) ⁓ I mean I can hold a Las Vegas crowd if that's what you're asking. speaker-0 (20:53) Yeah, that's pretty much what I was asking. "Because this feels like a boring email, let's talk about something more fun. Cereal. Would you rather eat it with warm milk or orange juice? Not as a side drink, I mean in the bowl." speaker-1 (21:07) I feel like this is not a true or false game, this is "Emmy finds weird emails that I've sent." I stand by that question. That's a super relevant question. speaker-0 (21:18) Well, what's your answer? speaker-1 (21:21) I don't like warm things. I think I'd rather have it with orange juice. If it's cold orange juice, I'd rather have cold orange juice with cereal than warm milk. speaker-0 (21:29) I feel like the sugar would really throw it off. Like you'd have to have plain, not Honey O's like Cheerios. speaker-1 (21:32) going on yes Cheerios yeah these are the sorts of things one decides in college like I didn't put the milk away for two days but it is milk versus like the orange juice has been in the fridge right which one do I do yeah speaker-0 (21:49) Or play it safe but dangerous. speaker-1 (21:52) can we go back to the movie thing? I quote Good Will Hunting a lot. speaker-0 (21:56) "How you like them apples?" I recently saw a parody that was Matt Damon in the Odyssey, but giving lines from Good Will Hunting, and he was like, "I got a prophecy, how about that?" speaker-1 (21:58) got a number. so Emmy, where are you on the Odyssey with Matt Damon? Do we want to see this? Do we think this is a terrible idea? speaker-0 (22:16) I don't know. I think it's like interesting because I have read the Odyssey shout out Enelow, but I hate it when I see a movie and I can see the actor in it, you know what I mean? Like, okay, that's Matt Damon not that's Odysseus or like I'm gonna see Tom Holland and be like That's my sixth grade crush not Telemachus or whatever Telemachus Sorry, Dr. Enelow speaker-1 (22:35) Yeah, I think it's Telemachus, but no judgment. Dr. Enelow if you're listening to this podcast, feel free to mark Emmy down retroactively. speaker-0 (22:45) Well, maybe don't. Don't know if I could take that. How are you feeling about the Odyssey? speaker-1 (22:51) I mean Christopher Nolan is great. I just wake up at night in a cold sweat thinking this is gonna be a huge huge huge disaster. speaker-0 (22:58) That's what really weighs on you. You're like yeah, Christopher Nolan is making a big mistake here. Yeah Yeah, okay. "Is it better to be early or exactly on time? Philosophically rich question. Practically speaking, please be early to class." speaker-1 (23:13) Sorry, is that an email or a question to me? I don't remember that one at all. Ok, so what we're learning is that my memory is still sharp. speaker-0 (23:15) Yeah, that's because I made it up. ⁓ Yeah, you're kind of good. I feel like your memory's better when you write things down, so maybe that's helping you out. speaker-1 (23:27) Yeah, didn't okay. That's why I didn't remember that one. Okay speaker-0 (23:31) "Everything is in bloom. The Zyrtec is flowing and the cyclical nature of the Upper School means I'm feeling preemptively nostalgic." I think that was the senior dinner email which is coming up because of the cyclical nature of high school. speaker-1 (23:38) That sounds like something I wrote. There is a cyclical nature, and that is a hard word to pronounce. It's Monday the 30th, I believe. Will you be there? speaker-0 (23:54) I will be there. I will be singing. I will be emceeing. You'll see me all over. yes. ⁓ This is my favorite one. "Dear families. Okay, so I feel like baseboard heating is newfangled." Period. speaker-1 (23:58) in a variety of different roles. Sorry, guess I just wanted you to read my whole paragraph back to me. Yes, I did write that only like a week or two ago. That one was relatively recent. speaker-0 (24:18) I clicked on the link in the news thing and then it gave me a whole new tab and I was like, this is a serious one and then it was baseboard heating. I was like, okay. speaker-1 (24:28) I think I did get into AI at some point in that email, but the whole thing was a setup for me to talk about baseboard heating. speaker-0 (24:31) Yeah. I feel like this is actually funny. We were talking about AI and teachers. We were well, how do we know if teachers are using AI? I think this was during StuCo. And I think Caleb Roth was like, well, we know Lapidus isn't. AI could never replicate that. speaker-1 (24:49) ⁓ I'll take that as a good thing. And thank you, Caleb, for being a reader. speaker-0 (24:53) Yeah, he reads your emails. That's a compliment. Caleb. Mm-hmm. "You may note that today is Albert Einstein's birthday, appropriately enough for Pi Day. It's also Steph Curry's. Thinking about Einstein or Steph makes me think about genius and how it often passes as something else." You did write that. speaker-1 (25:10) I believe I wrote that. Do know who else shares that birthday? Geoff Evans. March 14th. speaker-0 (25:15) Yes, May 14th. March 14th. Yeah. Thank you. Is it also your birthday? speaker-1 (25:20) It is also my birthday, that's why Ms. Holliman was pointing at me. But I wasn't gonna say that, Ms. Holliman. speaker-0 (25:26) Wait, you and Mr. Evans and Steph Curry and Albert Einstein all have the same birthday? Correct. Wow. That's a big day. That's a really big day. Yeah. That is a big day. If you ever look at her Instagram stories, it's oh my goodness, Pi Day, and then like eight GIFs of Pi. speaker-1 (25:34) And it's Pi Day, which for Ms. Sarkar is a big day. Boy, that like a boring GIF speaker-0 (25:46) Yeah, it's just like rotating pie slices. "I started this email intending to write about one thing and have ended up somewhere else entirely, which feels like a metaphor for both writing and life." speaker-1 (25:58) Yeah, that's me. I don't love that one. Sorry, I love it, Emmy. It's so good. It's so profound. speaker-0 (26:00) Nope, that was me. Now I know, now I know. speaker-1 (26:10) No, no, no, no, it's really good. It's really good. You just need to drop I don't know, maybe like a Veep reference in there or something. speaker-0 (26:14) Right, right. I should reference something niche. "If you ever find yourself in an elevator..." speaker-1 (26:19) Still struggling with that moment we just had. speaker-0 (26:22) Yeah, well, I was trying to move past it, to be honest. I was like, okay. speaker-1 (26:25) So do you ever like work on autobiography titles for yourself? speaker-0 (26:28) Yes, yours is, wait, hold on, I remember this from an email. "A Series of Awkward Moments." speaker-1 (26:33) Yes, good memory. Emmy's a reader. speaker-0 (26:35) Oh yeah, I'm a reader. Mine, I think I wrote a memoir in like 4th grade. There were three chapters, but I think it was like "The Life of a Star" or something like that. I had really big ego. I still do, I think. speaker-1 (26:50) No, that's a great title, "The Life of a Star." I love that. It's a little... speaker-0 (26:54) presumptive. Okay, this is the last one. "If you ever find yourself in an elevator, say a really long elevator ride with a stranger, I hope you'll be the sort of person who will smile and if someone says hello in response to your smile, you'll say hello back." speaker-1 (26:55) No, not at all. Not at all. great. I believe that was an email I wrote. speaker-0 (27:15) That is an email you wrote. I think it was funny that I only included two that were not emails that you wrote. speaker-1 (27:22) And one of them I knew I didn't write and the other one I thought I had written but I was sad. speaker-0 (27:27) You actually trashed on it, and it was mine. That is really funny. So sorry. Well, I really liked that last one. I thought that was less of one of the funny ones and more of the very philosophical ones. Because I think that saying hello to someone in the elevator is a beautiful way to go through life. speaker-1 (27:45) Don't whistle in the elevator. Do know what that's from? No. Death of a Salesman. speaker-0 (27:49) Mmm, that's a Broadway show, right? speaker-1 (27:51) Yeah, very famous play, an Arthur Miller play. He tells his son who's going for a job interview, don't whistle in the elevator. I think the idea is people don't take you seriously if you whistle in the elevator, but like, say hi, whistle in the elevator. Be that person instead, because, well, the salesman dies in the end, and he's not all that successful. No, he is a tragic figure and a terrible dad. speaker-0 (28:03) Whistle. Got it. Two things can be true at once. Yeah, I feel like that mentality is sort of how you walk through campus. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're like walking through saying hi to Noah this morning and then stopping at the next group and just saying hi. speaker-1 (28:29) Just working the room man. Just trying to get in past that velvet rope. speaker-0 (28:33) Yes, that was actually one of our freshmen's questions was, how long does it take you to come up with your dad jokes when you see people? speaker-1 (28:41) I'm sorry. I don't come up with dad jokes. I come up with deep philosophical points. A. B. Not that long. speaker-0 (28:50) All right, thank you for the question, Osa. I will let him know that he was quite offended. Um Yeah, so let's move to these questions. What was the worst job you ever had? speaker-1 (29:06) My worst job. Well, when I was in high school, I worked in a textile rental cleaning plant. And we would get linens from hospitals and restaurants and things like that. And you'd have to dump them in these huge, huge industrial... washers and you know you dump in tons of chemicals to clean them and this was early I don't think OSHA was involved in this situation. You'd basically use your bare hands and scoop whatever chemical that was and be like scoop and a half will probably do it I kind of liked it. I felt like one of the guys you know it was sort of fun in that way But I wonder if that's why I'm not taller than I am. speaker-0 (29:45) that why you are the way you are? Let me remember that you are my principal. speaker-1 (29:53) So there was that one. I worked at the New York Post. Not a lot of people know that, which is a tabloid newspaper in New York City. And there were some really fun things and there were some really depressing things about it. So I remember, gosh, there was a bombing in Saudi Arabia. I think it was like at a barracks that was being used by American Marines. I can't remember all the details. It was a really long time ago. And I remember the man who is the night editor for the Post, and I used to work the overnights in college because I was so popular. He wanted me to call a survivor from the famous Beirut disco bombing where a lot of American service people were killed in the 80s and get comment. And please don't fact check this because some of my details I'm probably forgetting exactly the time frame and things like that. And it was, 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night, something like that. I said, you know, gosh, I'm just going to call and wake somebody up and ask them for a comment on some terrible thing that just happened. And not unkindly, he said, "Yeah, that's what I'm asking you to do." And I thought, ⁓ maybe I'm not going to be a reporter. Maybe that's not something that I can do. Right. It was something like that. And so it wasn't that it was a terrible job, but it wasn't the job for me. speaker-0 (31:05) It's not really a joyous thing to report on news. speaker-1 (31:09) No, I mean, I respect it deeply and I believe our world needs people, maybe not that phone call exactly, but people who are able to do those hard things. But that was not me. And to be honest, I've picked a life and I've picked a workplace and I've picked a world that is, not hard for me. I really, really genuinely like what I do. I like coming to school each morning and I like seeing the kids and I like... being goofy and hearing about their lives and things like that. And so I think there are people who pick something really challenging for a living for them and then they lean into that and they make the world a better place. I don't do anything that I do to make the world a better place. I do it because I like it. I hope, as do we all in different ways, that things we do have an impact. But I'm doing this because I like it. speaker-0 (31:56) Right like the NBA. speaker-1 (31:58) Like the NBA. So, okay, I feel judged, but we'll just move through that. I have the best pivot moves for a five foot six person you've ever seen. So if you could scale me up, I don't even need to be six six, let's say. Barkley was always listed at like six six, but I truthfully he's more like six four. because Charles's pivot moves were such that he was able to beat players much bigger than he is. I'm like that, but possibly better. It's just that I'm not 6'4". speaker-0 (32:29) That's the only thing keeping you back. speaker-1 (32:32) Well, yeah, yeah. speaker-0 (32:35) I like that mentality. Thank you. All right. What is something people and students in particular would be surprised to learn about you? speaker-1 (32:47) So when you're a pretty candid and open person, you kind of run out of secrets. So I'm struggling to come up with one. Yeah, I can see. Emmy's like, yeah, I know exactly what you mean about that. speaker-0 (32:59) I got pantsed in the hallway one time by myself because I tripped and I literally told the whole school about it by the next morning So I yeah don't really have secrets. speaker-1 (33:08) I'm glad I don't have to answer that question because Emmy answered it for herself. Yeah, I've never pantsed myself Emmy I mean like I've changed clothes speaker-0 (33:18) Yeah. speaker-1 (33:21) But I've never pantsed myself in the hallway. ⁓ I can't think of a secret to share right now. I will get back to you on that one. speaker-0 (33:28) Please do. ⁓ Why did you elbow your Spanish teacher in the stomach? speaker-1 (33:33) ⁓ Ernie Collabolletta. Well, I thought it was a friend of mine. And Mr. Collabolletta came up behind me and grabbed me by the shoulder. And I think he was being kind of jocular and humorous in a 1991 kind of way. And I didn't know who was behind me. And I elbowed really hard because I thought it was one of my friends. I was just being funny too. But I guess that's what I thought funny was. And I hit Mr. Collabolletta in the solar plexus. And he went down hard. And I'm like, am I gonna get arrested? Am I gonna get kicked out of school? Okay, in my defense, this was the early 90s, and there was a smoking room on campus, and Mr. Collabolletta smoked a lot, and so like, hashtag who's at fault here, Ernie? So in his defense, I don't think he reported me to any kind of authorities. Mr. McDermott was the assistant principal and I never got called in for that, but I hit him hard. That's probably the hardest I've ever hit anybody because I'm not a fighter. speaker-0 (34:28) You were prepared to hit your friend that hard. speaker-1 (34:30) Well, yeah, but just like, know, a like a, wow, know, elbowing each other kind of way. speaker-0 (34:36) I think that happened to Olivia actually, where a teacher was reaching over her shoulder and she thought it was me and she went, whapak. And this teacher was well known as a strict teacher and she was just flabbergasted. No, it was not. But that would make sense. I actually have a question about that. ⁓ Ms. Duke related. speaker-1 (34:49) Was it Miss Duke? Cough discreetly if it was Ms. Duke. speaker-0 (35:01) So with the new direction of the school and this tumultuous period of change, I think people really want to know who is taller, you or Ms. Duke? speaker-1 (35:10) Okay, that's patently absurd. The fact that you're asking that, Emmy, puts this whole podcast into question. That was such a bait and switch. That was such a bait and switch. I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. That is an absurd question and sometimes shame is a powerful tool and I hope you're feeling some right now. speaker-0 (35:21) Do you like that bait and switch? Right, right, right. I did ask both Ms. Duke and Miss Niles yesterday at the men's volleyball game, what should I ask? Should it be serious and what do I do? And they were like, Ms. Duke was like, you gotta ask him, you gotta ask him. I was like, all right. She's like, open with that. I was like, I don't think so. speaker-1 (35:52) We're pretty far into the podcast here, so it's going to be interesting to see if anybody has listened this far to comment on that. But we'll look below the line in the reader comments. speaker-0 (36:00) Hashtag, drop it in the chat. Yeah. Yeah, okay ⁓ speaker-1 (36:03) How many hashtags have we used in this podcast? speaker-0 (36:06) We need to a hashtag counter just like in the corner. Hashtag 700 or something. Oh, this is a good question. If your high school self met your adult self, what do you think he'd say? speaker-1 (36:19) Gosh, it didn't come together, did it? speaker-0 (36:24) Those NBA dreams. speaker-1 (36:27) Yeah, sure. I think my high school self would be faintly horrified. ⁓ Pleased that not every moment is of excruciating self-reflection anymore. speaker-0 (36:41) That's a key theme of high school, feel like, the spotlight effect. speaker-1 (36:46) So there's all sorts of teachers out there. I think maybe my most formative teaching moment, I was in Philadelphia. I used to teach at a school called Penn Charter in Philadelphia and, the prom, everybody met at school, and then we got on these like cool city trolleys or something to go downtown to the prom at some hotel. And so I was the teacher. I was like 20 something. and I was sitting in the front of the trolley bus. And it was clear that the two kids who were sitting closest to me were on a terrible, terrible, terrible date. Like they didn't know each other. Somebody must have asked somebody. And it was just gonna be a rough night for the two of them. had nothing to say to one another. And I just did bits. Oh, we got stuck in traffic. So I did bits for like an hour and 45 minutes so that these two people didn't have to talk to one another. I was 100 % just running through material. speaker-0 (37:34) Just like doing stand-up. Is this where your long-standing, I wouldn't say hatred, but ambivalence towards prom comes from? speaker-1 (37:45) ⁓ well, no, that comes from my prom. speaker-0 (37:49) Tell me more. speaker-1 (37:51) yes, ⁓ my prom was not perhaps like in the storybooks, if there are storybooks about prom. Or maybe it's like exactly like the ones that are in the storybooks, except for Carrie, like that one is a little darker, but ⁓ no, no, no pig's blood. Prom is like, Valentine's, all these things that are built up to be the be all end all, they're never gonna be the perfect night. speaker-0 (38:03) No pig's blood. speaker-1 (38:13) But you get material and that ain't bad. speaker-0 (38:16) That's true. That is very true. I feel like prom last year yielded more funny stories than group bonding. speaker-1 (38:22) Yeah, then like the under the sea moment from Back to the Future or something. speaker-0 (38:26) Yes, exactly. What was high school like for you and what were you into? speaker-1 (38:35) You know man, I was just a kid in the middle of Kansas like roping and I don't know where I'm going. speaker-0 (38:45) Riding the trails... speaker-1 (38:46) Yeah, yeah, you know, I remember just sitting out on the prairie whistling a long slow mournful tune. speaker-0 (38:53) Watching the tumbleweeds. speaker-1 (38:57) Emmy and I are doing bits here. What was high school like for me? It was complicated as it is for a lot of people. I was good at sports and that got me a certain level of social okayness. I had really good friends. I grew up in the same town. It's a pretty different experience than my kids are having themselves. I had the same friends since I was three or four years old until now. And so that part was great. School was a pretty safe space. And then honestly, I just didn't have very much confidence in myself. Despite having loving parents and a stable household and all these things that are advantages in the world, it doesn't mean necessarily that you feel that reflected. And of course, those things were deeply beneficial, but high school was hard. And I don't know that I liked myself as much as I wish that I had. speaker-0 (39:46) What would you say to people who are feeling like that? What was your strategy to shift that mindset? speaker-1 (39:53) I don't know that I had a strategy, but do you remember a few years ago there was, I think it was a YouTube campaign and I think it was called It Gets Better. And it does, it does. I I've been to high school reunions and college reunions and everybody likes themself. You really, you like yourself better now than you did when you were a kid. And I'm not sad at getting older. I think that my teens were hard but important, of course. My 20s may have been a little bit easier. My 30s were easier than my 20s. My 40s were easier than my 30s. And now that I've just launched a new decade, I hope that my 50s are even better still. And I think you grow to accept and love yourself. And even with mortgages and difficult things in family life and personal lives and professional challenges and things like that I really believe in acceptance and forgiveness and love and I think that comes with time. speaker-0 (40:50) Yeah, that's very beautifully said. We just did a project in our communication and choice class that was like, you have to give a speech on your biggest value, which is a crazy prompt. And it was either to the high school or to the upperclassmen or to your grade. And Elena just did one on growth. I would highly recommend that you watch back that video because it was a mirror to what you just said. speaker-1 (41:13) That sounds extraordinary. I'd love to see that. speaker-0 (41:15) Yeah, and she talked about how we got in a fight on the pool deck down there on the third day of 2nd grade, and she scratched me, and then we got an email home, and now we're best friends. She was like, hey, wouldn't have happened without that email home. All right, let's see. What's something you wish you'd taken more seriously and not so seriously as a student? speaker-1 (41:34) College. Very easy answer to that. I'm such a morning person now and in college I don't think that I was and I don't think I was taking as many interesting classes. Now I'm like, would have loved to take X, Y, and Z. I mean, you know, the cliches about youth being wasted on the young, college being wasted on the people who are going to college. And then I see people for whom it's not true and who are taking wonderful advantage of it and I am super impressed with their maturity. I just think about classes that I would have taken, professors that I would have gotten to know better, and I think I just wouldn't have cared so much about some of the things that just tend to sort themselves out, truthfully, school didn't stress me out. My social capital stressed me out. Like, who I was in school was way more stressful to me than the academic part of it. speaker-0 (42:23) I think that's probably similar for a lot of students, I would say. Even students who maybe should care a little bit more about the academic side and kids who are great at the academic side. It's the nature of being in the same space with so many people who are, and you think, I I know I walk through the patio and I'm like, everyone's watching me, they're making sure my shoelaces are tied and my hair is done. And really, I could show up with my hair not done tomorrow and nobody would notice. speaker-1 (42:51) Yeah, it's true. And maybe that's the journey that we have to take. Maybe that's necessary so that, you life is a series of iterations and you have to go through these different things. Teenagers have this really protective zone of narcissism that surrounds them like a bubble. And it's because they need to focus on themselves, I think, with the hope that someday they can focus on others. And the vast majority of human beings get there. I mean, that's what empathy is about, right? Is if you can think about who you are, then hopefully someday you can think about who somebody else is. speaker-0 (43:22) Okay, great. Well, I think this is actually a perfect lead up to our closing question, which is, what do hope people take with them when they leave Head-Royce? speaker-1 (43:23) enough material. I hope that they will have felt seen over the course of their time here and that they were seen for who they are, who they will become, who they may become, and valued. It's definitely like an admissions tagline that I've started throwing around, but I really believe that we should be Jayhawks for life. And it doesn't mean you have to... be 60 years old and come back to Oakland and raise your kids here and send them to Head-Royce. And if that happens, wonderful. But I think that what you've learned here, more in the hallways than in the classroom, will stand in for the rest of your life for who you become. speaker-0 (44:15) Wow, mic drop, hashtag mic drop. Of course. Thank you. speaker-1 (44:18) Thank you, Emmy.