Thank you. And that was Knife Trick with the
theme song of Beginner's Luck. Welcome, everyone.
I am Larry, and this is episode five, guys? Is
it episode five? Episode five. Yeah. Okay, episode
five of Beginner's Luck. Welcome, everyone. And
we're just going to... Well, it's me, Larry,
the DM. I'm sure you know me by now. And you
also know my players. But for those who don't
know, let's just go ahead straight from the top.
Hello, I'm Bella. I play Annie the Goliath Artificer.
My favorite color is yellow. Annie's favorite
color is green. Hello, my name is Robert and
I play Gorda Sevrok. Hi, my name is Avia and
I play Raynor the Elf Bard. Okay, just pointing
it out there. My favorite color is purple. Is
it? No, it's not. Is it? No, it's not. What are
you saying is it? I forgot. It's actually pink.
Just throwing it out there. It is pink. So before
we do begin, I would like to ask a question for
you, my lovely players. A question more for you
to get into your character's heads. And that
question is, if your character had a... profile
for a dating app what would it look like so let's
start with you annie or bella i am not one to
use dating apps especially at my current age
but if i did have one if i was when i was younger
it would be i don't know selfies of me just working
at my desk it's what i do most often anyway photos
that my employees may have taken of me while
playing chess in the break room um my favorite
corner shop where i would get my favorite snacks
chips skewers whatnot mirror selfies of my favorite
suits and do dating apps have quotes ah it certainly
can if if there would be a profound quote that
annie would add to her dating profile what would
that quote be something along the lines of i'll
be the one carrying you okay one of those uh
uh footsteps on the sand sort of thing you know
like uh jesus Footsteps on the sand. It sounds
like one of those quotes. I didn't think it would
sound like that. I'm so sorry. That's what it
sounded like. The other pair of footprints on
the sand. Jesus. I mean, Jesus. God, why'd you
have to say it like that? I mean... I'm not much
of a religious person. If anything, the type
of people that I would bring to my bedroom would
not... They would be screaming for help from
the gods, if anything. Okay. So, Rob, what would
a Gotan's dating profile look like? Well, it
is very different. I don't also do dating apps,
but I did find out my sister set one up for me.
And, well... She thought I was staying at home
and spending too much time trying to help my
father and I needed to get out there and meet
common people and talk to people more. It was
a waste of time, to be honest. It was just pictures
of me that were paintings of the family that
had just been cut out of just singular me. I
don't have a lot of artwork of myself. Is it
one of those where, like, there's a with a with
a picture of you like it shows you and then everybody
else is either like blurred out or just like
has a sticker on top of their faces is it like
very much like blurred out if it was like watermarking
and just like smudged just like the z the with
since uh Sarah was the one that set it up. Do
you think that she would have added some sort
of quote to sort of represent you or anything
like that? It wouldn't be a quote. It would be
along the lines of like, set this up for my loser
brother. And like description about him, but
like being slightly like, you know, that's just
like derogatory, just like complete idiot. But,
you know. He can be quite nice. Yeah, he means
well. Like, means well. Like... Has a expensive
taste, so will always take you to nice places
and, like, stuff like that. Has money, basically,
is what she said. Yeah. Has money. Without saying
has money. Okay, that's interesting. All right,
lastly, Raynor. What would Raynor's dating profile
look like? It would look terrible. I think he
would be... Probably the most avid user of it.
He would have, like, thirst trap photos of him,
like, leaning with his shirt out so, like, he
could see his abs. Yeah, the slight lift of the
shirt, yeah. The slight lift, like, posing in
a way that kind of makes him look a bit taller
than he is. Kind of, like, real photographic
photos where it's just like, okay, that's a lot.
Very good. And then his quote would be, looking
for someone I don't have to lie to, just with.
Oh, searching for my partner in crime. One of
those. Yeah. That's hilarious. So yeah, definitely.
One of those profiles, you'd kind of go like,
oh, that's a red flag. It's just all red flags.
Oh no. When the profile comes in the app, it's
got like that sort of. redness to it that the
app has already detected that you are a red flag.
Yeah. They're like, please, like when you swipe
on it, it's just like, don't, don't. Are you
sure? You need to love yourself. But are you
sure? Are you really sure? Are you okay? Here's
a mental health institution number. Okay, that
was very interesting and very insightful to know
what it would be like if you guys did have your
own dating profiles. What would Samson's dating
profile look like? Samson. Oh, that's interesting.
I'm going to keep throwing these. Yeah, no. Okay.
Okay, so. No, no, no. I'm not giving you an answer.
I'm thinking, what would Samson's one look like?
oh he would be one of those with like that has
uh like a meaningless title for a job right where
he would like a you know a head executive uh
managerial regional manager blah blah blah uh
really talking himself up i imagine that samson
if he did uh did have a dating profile it's one
that would really it would show like uh a huge
sense of overconfidence um maybe something along
the lines i may be a fish in a bowl but I don't
know. I may be a fish in a bowl, but... Something...
I can't do this, guys. Excuse me. That's the
end of the show. Good night, everybody. See you
later. I'm surprised that he wasn't doing one
of these where he was flexing with the gorilla
body and then being like, I won't forget you
in 10 seconds. I'm trying to think of what he
would write, like Samson, because... I imagine
his profile, it's not him speaking about what
he's looking for in particular. It's everything
about him. So it's just like, yeah, I've accomplished
this. This is what I can do. It's a LinkedIn
profile for his date. I imagine that it's just
all about him. And if he does eventually get
a date, I imagine that that date would go so
poorly in the sense that he would... always just
be talking about himself and then if the other
his date would try to interject to say something
oh yes that's quite interesting anyway let me
tell you about the project that i'm currently
working on see we have 65 people in this brother
so he he must definitely be that sort of type
of uh self -absorbed and i also imagine that
he's not very kind to the wait staff oh god yeah
so most definitely a red flag oh hell no that's
a bigger reflective meter i like and it's almost
in that sense like he he's very while he is disrespectful
to wait stop i imagine he does it in that sort
of uh polite condescending way where it sounds
like a compliment but it's not a compliment who
i do like what you're wearing there you're so
brave to wear something like that you know what
i mean absolutely brave i imagine he would talk
like that to his date as well actually come to
think of it it's just yes yes i do like that
it is quite a daring outfit that you have on
oh my god this guy sucks Absolutely not. This
guy stinks. We've let most folks, most of my
NPCs fucking stink and are just awful people.
And now that I got that question out of the way,
screw you guys for putting me on the spot. Yeah,
you're welcome. Let us get into that recap. With
only a night of peace settling in at the encampment,
our onerous outlaws begin their day preparing
for their journey out to the expanse. They are
to venture out to the nearby settlement that
was once considered part of Antilles' soil, Briar
Rose. There, they are to ensure the safety and
security of the locale, be the canaries in the
mine, so to speak. Having very little to no breakfast,
a heated but collected discussion regarding the
requirements and the necessities of survival
wrestled with the three. Learning a little bit
more about each other, and with the exchange
of some harsh words, our three nefarious ne 'er
-do -wells take a short break from one another.
Raynor, staying at the mess hall, chatting up
some of the pauses. Godard, trapped within his
own thoughts, wandered the grounds. And Annie,
having a little powwow with Sasha Blackburn.
After reconvening with Samson and getting the
final details of their objective, the three depart
with Gimbal in tow. It was not long until they
had reached the wall that separated the expanse
from the rest of the world. There, they find
the checkpoint station. Within the labyrinthian
corridors, they find themselves at the control
room for the main gate. It is here where they
were attacked by some creatures that resembled
both man and spider. The creatures were no match,
as they fell one after the other. Exiting the
checkpoint station, they have finally arrived
at Matushia, the expanse. The air held still,
the domain riddled with magical emanation. The
land, muted and colorless, brought a sense of
trepidation. Here they witnessed the remains
of what once was 80 years ago. Skeletal remains
of those who ran from it all, heading towards
the checkpoint station. Clearly, none had made
it, and with this brief moment of realization
on what they were seeing, there, the skeletal...
remains of a dragon rose before them, with a
thunderous voice shaking the very grounds they
stood on. And now we come back to this large,
hulking... necrotic skeletal dragon that has
just risen its wings stretch and this thing is
huge it is like more than a building and a half
more like two buildings if anything uh and what
are you all doing as this thing rises oh um god
i was just looking to see if you can hide behind
anything Uh, this is pretty much, like, almost
an open field. There's a few trees. Yeah, there's
a few trees here and there, so I can imagine
that, like, Godaku... Is there, like, a crater
I can dive into? Sure. Let's say there is a Yamcha
crater not too far from here. Just full of, just,
even just laying flat, just head in the ground,
just, like, dives headfirst, just... Do any of
you speak Draconic? Me. okay so as he spoke in
his word he is now flapping its skeletal like
wings with its leathery leftover membrane wing
things words I am amazing at them praise me that's
a new record two minutes in so The words that
it spoke, you understood the words that it's
spoken. The war has not ended. Antillions will
suffer under my strength. And as it says this,
it beats its huge wings and takes flight. Oh,
that's not good. The ground shakes and trembles
as this thing ascends and flies to the north.
Oh no. That's someone else's problem now. Actually,
it's all of our problem. Is it gone? Yes, but
it might come back. What did it say? All Antelians
will be destroyed. Ew. Yep. The war is not over.
Okay. I have no idea what that means. Nor do
I care. Our job is done. I agree. You can see
Gimble not too far. Actually, he had taken a
few steps forward. Several steps forward closer
to where the dragon was while it was speaking.
And he's just sort of sitting there with his
ancient diver suit on and he's got his book out
and a pen. And if any of you come closer to him,
you'll find that he had been taking notes on
this huge... creature also making rudimentary
sketches of what it looks like. I swear this
thing has no regard for his own safety. Why does
he keep wandering off forward? It's not like
his life is on our hands or our lives are in
his hands. Gimble? What do you have there? Show
us this book. Show us a sketch of the uh... even
though it's a rudimentary sketch you can see
that it's actually fairly well done you can see
uh that he had done a sketch of the dragon head
quite well uh showing uh certain details such
as the the loose sort of leathery scaly skin
that sort of hangs off on like the cheek of this
creature the the the void on where eyes should
be and bone and sinew that still remain he has
included it in his sketch huh very good sketch
but still you should not be running off like
that i i wasn't too far i was only he looks to
where god still is somewhere near the crater
Judging by the distance, I didn't go too far.
I just needed to take a closer look to make sure
that I get this. And then he points at this certain
section. This part, I was too far to see and
I needed the detail. That is a great point, Gimble.
But you know what? I think you wouldn't be able
to make any notes if that dragon took an extra
step and blew you up. Then we would die. You
would die. I guess that doesn't matter. Like
your notes would just be here for someone to
collect. But they won't collect it, will they?
Because no one will come here because we're all
dead. Oh, I'm sure if I don't return, I'm sure
Samson would send someone. But I have nothing
to worry about because I have every faith in
you guys. He says with a smile. You wouldn't
happen to be able to make up a papoose, could
you? Make a what? It's a papoose. It's like a
baby holder. You wear it. Will you be the one
wearing it? No, of course not. I'm not going
to wear it. But it'll stop this little one from
going off and dying and then us getting our heads
blown up. Well, I'm not wearing it. Or at least
a leash. He's on, like, all fours, like, while
you guys are talking, and he's, like, going through
blades of grass, and you see him just, like,
examining bugs. We could cut off his legs. They
said he had to be alive. They didn't say he had
to be alive in a well. Okay, that's a bit much
even for me. Even I'm not entirely okay with
that. We could cut off one leg. Like, I'm 50
-50. God, I was considering it. Yeah, same with
Annie. Annie's like, she's tilted her head and
she's looking up to the sky and it's like, that's
not a bad idea. We could break it, if you don't
want to injure him. Will you be the one to break
it? Me? Yeah, I mean, I could. Gimble, do you
want to come over here for a minute and take
off that suit? You know what, it's almost worrying
how enthusiastic you are about this. He had so
much faith in us! Gimbal is... Gimbal is... What's
the word? Enraptured by the bugs that he's cracked.
I could make a rope. A rope would be good. I
think we already have some. Gordos is going to
pull out his rope, walk over to Gimbal, and then
just tie it around his forearm. Oh, excellent.
I imagine... You know how toddlers walk? That's
what I'm picturing in my head right now. With
a child leash around his... Where'd you tie it?
So he's going to do one around both forearms,
and then at the base of the U is where Goldar's
going to be holding, just in case one slips off
and he tries to run away. Right, so is he bound,
or does he still have sort of... No, like...
Because it's a, like, what, a 30 -foot rope or
whatever it is? So, like, one side is on one
hand, one side's on the other, and then it used
back to where Gordaro's standing behind him,
like, 15 feet. Just, like, holding it so he can't,
like, sprint off. Like reins. Yeah, like reins.
I don't see why this is necessary as he's, like,
putting some of these, like, he's capturing some
of these bugs now that he's putting in, like,
these small sample jars that he's pulled out
of his bag. And he's like looking at the robe.
I don't, I don't, I don't. Well, if anything
comes to eat you, we can pull you away. You can
focus on your research. Oh, that's, oh, that's
a very good idea. As he's like putting more bugs
in and he's now, you see, he pulls out this like
small sort of chest or cabinet and he pops it
open and he's able to. put in each sort of sample
that he has gotten into these little shelving
units in this little chest. He closes it up and
then he returns it to his bag. Yeah, I think
we need to just follow this road. It shouldn't
take us long to get to Briar Rose from here.
Wait, this wasn't Briar Rose? No, we're in an
open field. We're not done yet? Oh my god. And
you were about to kill us like ten times. gimbal
okay we're going to have we're going to just
relax here both of us right you're not making
me relax though gimbal Personality changes aside,
I think we should march on, shall we? I don't
want to be out here when it becomes night time.
Or if that dragon decides to come back. I'm a
little concerned on how calm the little one is
with the fact that we just saw a dragon skeleton
get up and fly away. He decided to move closer
for some reason. I'm not worried about that.
I'm more worried about that he's not fazed. Look
at him. He's like a dog. Like a little toddler
walk. He's doing the toddler walk when they're
wearing the puff jacket, their arms out. You
know what? Also the one with the heavy full nappy.
Do any of you know how long his species live?
Just a brief question. I have no idea. But for...
According to this one, probably not very long.
That is a good point. Okay. Gimble, just a quick
question before we start heading off, right?
The dragon that left, do you have any sort of
notes that say why a dragon can heal? And he
goes, pops open his bag and he's pulling out
like several different things and then he pulls
out a book of, on the cover it says, what's those,
what are those kid books? Dragonology? one of
those and it has like a gem yeah and a dragon
wrapped around the center around the gem uh and
he pops it down and he starts flipping through
the book well according to this of what we do
know of dragons um they are capable of magic
uh any sort of any magic that we would be capable
of so would they With the addition of breathing
certain elemental things, he says. Fire, ice,
acid. Though it has no mention of any... And
he's like flipping through it faster and faster.
He goes, there's nothing here about dragon skeletons.
What happens when a dragon dies then? Does it?
Does its mana go into the environment? Does it?
They go to the dragon graveyard. Okay, so this
book is useless, and I don't know where you got
your education from, but we're going to look
into that later. Let us know. The book is literally,
like, written for children, this one book, or
young teens. And it's just like, it says here...
dragon graveyard where they all go to take their
final rest and then he shows the picture that
is drawn on here and it's reminiscent to what
you can like as you players could surmise much
like a elephant graveyard and where when it is
their time a dragon will go to a designated um
place which is called to them by i don't know
what's the instinct to take their final breath
and you can see it is all sort of do you remember
the the elephant graveyard from lion king yeah
think of that like bones green and uh yeah he's
showing that he's got it up high for podcast
listeners when this little dude picks up his
book it's covering his face like a toddler would
oh yeah also for this yes annie has rolled her
eyes three times which is gold yeah stop rolling
your eyes bella okay stop rolling your eyes i
do what i do but yes that's that's the information
i have on dragons so it is new that anyway is
new As he points up to the sky and you can see
the skeletal dragon, not necessarily circling
you in particular, but it looks like it is circling.
Well, I don't want to stay here for any longer
in case he decides that he wants more flesh for
his bones. I think we should get going. I think
so too. You know that... Briar Rose is at least
another few hours away. From what you understand,
you'd probably get there by nightfall. But you
all go straight ahead. Everybody give me a survival
check, please. That is a 14 for Gordar. Raynor
got a 13. And he got a 9. That can't be good.
Okay. Who's taking the lead? Who is walking along
with little old Gimble here with his little old
map? I'm like five feet behind him with a rope.
Okay. I'm not walking alongside him. I'm just
like with a rope behind him, double -handed and
the rope just... So is it safe to say that Gimble
is taking lead? I would say he's taking lead.
I'm just behind him. I'm not letting him wander
off. I'm holding the rope. He's five feet maximum
away from me. He's not able to get away. Yep.
Everybody give me a perception check. Very perceptive.
So perceptive. Gorda got a three. Annie got a
two. Raynor got a 16. All right. So it's been
about an hour of trekking, and you're still on
this same road, which is fairly wide. Think of
like a, what do you call it, an eight -lane highway.
So it's fairly wide. It looks like that judging
from... what you have seen along the way uh this
road was not only used by uh the local matutians
but also antelians um this road is also you was
also probably used by dragons as well uh so along
the way it has been roughly about an hour uh
rainer not too far ahead you're is prick and
you can hear uh uh the clashing of steel the
uh this the screams uh you can hear a battle
happening not too far from you uh i think uh
godar you're a bit distracted with uh gimbal
And even though he knows that you guys should
stick to this road, he's still looking at his
map. And he knows that it's just straight ahead
till eventually you'll eventually make it to
Briar Rose. Annie, you are lost in the mutable...
colors that are all around you you and your party
seems to be rather vibrant compared to everything
else here there are whilst walking there are
moments where color seems to have returned to
your environs where it almost seems normal but
a little off so the leaves of trees and the grass
would give a hue of purple rather than green
um the wind sometimes feel both hot and cold
as you're walking past certain areas uh there's
almost a sort of electrical tinge in the air
as at some points where and then sometimes it's
just no longer present but reyna a battle ahead
do you guys hear that stop for a second stop
yeah As he just goes into like a T pose as the
arms just get like pulled back. It sounds like
swords. It sounds like a fight is up ahead. A
fight? I thought this place was meant to be deserted.
It could be ghosts. Why would you say that? What
else would be here? And I don't like ghosts.
I'm saying it. Can I see any like shiver? A little
bit. At the thought of there being ghosts. Does
Annie believe in ghosts? She's heard stories.
And she doesn't like them. Or to her, a ghost
are nothing more than reflections of each individual's
past. That's a thought experiment for another
time. Alright, let's put a physical in the middle.
Annie has this sinking feeling that someone is
telling her that from the great beyond and now
she's having like a bit of a mini existential
crisis just off the as you move forward and closer
and closer to the um the the noise that you are
now all hearing is getting louder and maybe about
around 50 feet away from you you can see a battle
happening and it is leagues of men clashing with
swords and shields and spells and you can see
there are those who are adorned in suits of armor
that have the uh the crest of the city of Antili
with its five birds and on the opposition you
have an array of dragonballs and uh dragonborns
sorry dragonborns dragonballs dragonborns and
kobolds mash them up dragon boards and kobolds
uh with other sort of lizard folks and you see
that it is an intense battle going on it the
opposition doesn't seem to be as organized as
the antelians but then here and there you see
uh almost smaller packs of kobolds would come
running in and just like take out a huge chunk
of the antelians and the bloodbath is just happening
and it's just going on and on you take a moment
to just witness this and it's almost never ending
I'm assuming Goddard would be like pulling back
on the rope because I'm sure he's trying to like
move up ahead. Gimble has taken a brief stop
and he's observing and he's watching and he looks
to the rest of you. Are those Antelians? They
look like it. I think so. wouldn't know what
um do you think's happening here can any roll
an insight check uh what are you trying to glean
if this is like something that's been stuck in
here like a time loop or if it's like a what
do you call a replication is that the word is
that a word um interesting thought uh give me
an investigation That's a four. What did you
get? A total of four. Okay. As far as you can
tell, this is, they don't seem to be any form
of apparition. This does not seem to be some
sort of crack in time or whatsoever. It looks
like this is just a current skirmish that is
happening right before your eyes on this parts
of the field and parts of this road or freeway.
Bodies flying, blood splattered. Oh, goodness.
And it begins to rain. Um, I didn't think anyone
else was out here. But this, ugh, this is ghastly.
Um, I don't exactly want to get anywhere near
this. We want to try and find a way around them.
Yes, let's. I don't think it's wise to get involved
in this battle. whatever it may be judging as
as the rain picks up judging just looking you
know to your left and to your right uh judging
by the sheer number of things you don't know
you can't see the end of it so you can certainly
try to go around but you don't know how long
it will take you either from the from your left
or to your right it is a huge battle that is
ongoing so are you guys like just at a standstill
here are you guys moving forward or you guys
what exactly you guys doing as you are seeing
this battle that is happening before you goddard
has kind of looked away at this point after saying
what he said i mean like we should either try
and find another way or whatever I'm not... I
don't think our chances of going through this
war zone would be great, but I'll leave that
up to you all. I'm just going to make sure this
one doesn't disappear. No, no, you're right.
We should ascertain a different way to go around,
even if it does take more time. I think we should
just go through. We should just ask them, hey,
can you move aside? Take your fight somewhere
else. And we need to go through. Because these
people that are going to come through, they're
going to have the same issue. It's not feasible.
And he's just looking at you with astonishment
that you could suggest something so brash. So
I say, Annie, since you're the decision maker,
you go through and you go talk to them. What?
This was not my idea. Why don't you do it? We
did this last time. Remember, Rob and I volunteered
you to be the leader for this expedition. Annie.
Remember? We had that, like, who goes first,
and then Annie steps into the gate. Who's Rob?
Who's Rob? Who's Rob? Are you okay? Who are you
talking to? Gorda. Oh, yes, we did vote that
you were the leader. What? I'm not the leader.
I thought Gimble was the leader. You're the one
who is holding onto Gimble right now. You think
this is the leader? Yeah, I'm making sure our
dog doesn't run off. I'm the leader. No, you
are not the leader. Can you just pull him quickly?
He's already there next to you guys. I'm not
going to torture him. Okay. Well, look, either
way, we need to get through this. We don't know
if this battle spans this entire region, right?
Because eventually, I'd say we just kind of try
to talk to someone there. Well, go on. Well,
I don't speak these languages. So, Annie. No,
I wouldn't even know who to talk to. What? Oh,
I hate all of you. The rain is getting heavier.
And now that it's getting heavier, this rain
is different than what you're used to. The rain
is red. Is this blood? Annie's gonna smell the
liquid that she just caught. from the quote rain
unquote it does have that acrid um metallic smell
of blood oh fuck no it is raining red hallelujah
and he's going to walk over to the battle scene
just mumbling to herself i'm used to a different
kind of negotiation not this god why did they
choose me as the leader this is not what i signed
up for i just wanted to get this over and done
with the rain is getting heavier and as you approach
and you're at this precipice of like this this
this uh this battle and you see individuals fall
at your feet others are like dying at your side
And you can see several different dragonborns
just run past you. Same with Antelians. And it's
almost as if your presence has not been noticed.
Hello? The clash of steel continues and Antelian
falls down as a blade is driven straight into
his chest and right back out. Blood splatters.
She's like, what do you call it? Grimacing at
that sight? She's grimacing at the sight of the
fallen Antelian and she's just going to try and
grab someone. Excuse me. As you try to grab someone,
you make perches. You can feel them. They're
there. But they pay you no heed. That is strange.
You know how if you put your hand on someone's
shoulder and they sort of brush it off? They
don't even give that. They just continue whatever
motion that they were doing. They continue whatever
action that they were taking. any sort of uh
distraction that you put forth between them it's
as if they can't even see you are they going
to move for us sorry just for the viewers uh
rob just moved further away from his mic so he
just looks super tiny okay sorry you just see
like gold i'm assuming you're seeing like the
three of us at the back just like Just staring
there, just like... Yeah, you found another yum
chuck, Raynor. You and Raynor are just there.
Are they trying to stab you yet? Are they going
to move? No, it's very strange. They don't seem
to notice me. Cool. I'm going to try walking
forward. And she's going to take one, two, three
paces forward. You continue to move forward and
again. It's as if your very presence, your very
presence here has gone unnoticed. This battle
just continues to rage before you on all sides,
and you look beyond, and the battle continues,
leagues ahead, and it's the same to your left,
it's the same to your right. A big brouhaha,
if you will. You love that phrase. As best as
I can describe it, it is a huge brouhaha. Listen
here! I can't believe you've got a bingo on me!
Okay, this is strange. Is Annie at all getting
aimed at, or is she in the way of anyone's strikes
or means of defense? no so if you intentionally
like say stand in front of an any individual
while your presence is almost seems non -existent
non -existent to everyone around you they still
sort of move in a way where they completely avoid
you oh that's strange she's going to like call
back over to the three who's still waiting I
think it's safe to cross. They don't seem to
be attacking me. They're going around. Okay,
well, let's all move up slowly and I'm going
to... Very tight. I'm only like 30 centimeters
away from the rope. Just real close. Okay, come
now and make sure you don't walk into any swords.
I imagine... Because of him being tied up, and
also with your snakes. It's just that he looks
at you, looks at the battle, and how just close
he is to you, Godot. Jesus, that little panic
that he has. But I presume that the three of
you now are also moving forward? Mm -hmm. Carefully
and slowly. With your careful trepidation? Yes,
that seems correct. Upon entering the battle
before you, you're experiencing the same things
that Annie is experiencing, where it's as if
that your presence here is non -existent. While
certain events happening before your eyes, you
find that if any moment of any moment that you
were to make some sort of contact with anyone
here or anything they would conveniently avoid
avoid you and the rain continues on this bloody
rain and it is heavy and it is the ground now
being so muddy and drenched and You march on
forward. When someone is slain, do their bodies
just remain on the floor? Yes. Raynor's going
to check their puppets. Okay, give me an investigation.
Oh my god, is he doing what I think he's doing?
Four. Let's see. Okay, so in this one particular
individual, you... pat him down in search of
in hopes of finding anything in their pockets
or whatsoever uh you get nothing you try a few
others and again nothing they don't seem to be
carrying anything apart from the weaponry there
this is specifically on the antelians uh you
look upon the dragon foe Like the Dragonborn,
the Kobolds, the Lizardfolk. While some of them
are, particularly the Dragonborn, they're all
adorned on this ornate armor. They too don't
seem to have anything on their pockets apart
from the weapons that they carry and such. I
mean, you find what you can only presume to be
water skins full of water. But other than that,
there's very little things of value. Well, that
was a bust. As you move forward, you've been
walking for quite a while through this fields
of sword and steel. the rain continues to get
heavier and heavier. And as about 30 minutes
into this war zone, ahead of you now, rather
than combatants exchanging blows, the place is
now strewn with just corpses of both sides. Almost
fresh. Oh. So it's like, um, so if we look backward,
we see the fight, and then now we see forward,
it's the result of the fight. In a manner of
speaking. Oh, onwards and upwards. Let's go.
This is very disturbing. Um, should we have covered
the little one's eyes? nah he's like his book
out and he's just like okay making notes of what
he is witnessing you can see that the uh the
rain itself like the blood splatter rain is staining
uh parts of his book and he's doing his best
to sort of like cover it with his uh gigantic
sort of uh diver's helmet To make his notes as
you guys press on. You're going to need a lot
of therapy later. Let's hope your species don't
live very long. Can we look up? Yep. You certainly
look up. I just want to see where the water is
coming from. Is it clouds or is it just appearing
out of nowhere? Like the blood rain. It is what
you had expected. It is a cloudy sort of overcast
where it looks like regular rain, but red. Okay.
Sorry, I cut you off, Gimbal? No. Was I saying
something? As he's, like, taking notes. Well,
let's not stay here too long. I would not want
to be out here at nighttime, so hurry along,
Gimbal. He closes his book and moves forward
tentatively. Another 30 minutes had passed of
just trudging along, not only this muddy, muddy,
bloody ground, but through the mass of corpses,
seemingly so fresh, all so fresh, and you reach...
this threshold of just where it just ends and
you see that the the road the highway continues
on you continue on for another few hours and
you know that it is now the late afternoon and
gimbal comes to a stop uh you seem to have come
to a fork in the road great choices Gimu, do
you know which way we need to go? No. According
to the map, we should have just been following
this road. There's no fork here. There shouldn't
be a fork here. Oh, great. What do the different
paths look like? Is one more like dark and menacing
than the other? And one with sunshine and rainbows.
Unfortunately, no. So the environment around
you is more or less still the same with the muted
colors and with the pockets of colorization in
certain points. But both the roads look exactly
the same. So you know how it was an eight lane.
sort of freeway that you had been marching on
it looks like it had split four to the left and
then four to the right like in a y shape rather
than a hard left and hard and gimbal looks at
his map and looks to the rest of you um but there's
no for this road is supposed to just be straight
Well, it's not, so are there any landmarks upon
that map that we can see? He places the map on
the ground, and he's following the... What's
the word? The route that you have taken, following
the road along, and he's... estimating you know
he's pulled out his like a little compass and
on the side of this it's a rather than a round
sort of round sort of compass that you would
normally have his one is sort of this rectangular
piece where the compass sits at the top of it
and on the side it actually has a little measuring
tool and you can see him begin to sort of measure
measure and sort of judge on where you are exactly
and he points to the map and he goes this is
where we are and you can see that the road just
goes straight ahead and there isn't a lot of
and then he looks it points to a particular the
mountain face uh to the east and you do see that
mountain face to the east uh but as far as you
can tell there's no uh huge identifying landmark
and man -made anyway well it's a gamble well
according to the mountains and i'm gonna like
trace the finger up the pathway is it supposed
to be like a dead straight ahead or is it like
yeah it's not straight okay And so one road is
kind of veering off to the west and then one
is veering off to the east. Well, I'm stumped.
Can I get a perception check while you guys are
here? For Gorda, that is a zero. Oh, I see. For
Raynor, it is five. Oh, I see. Annie's is ten.
Oh. I see. Interesting. Let me just make a quick
note over here. Oh no. That can't be good. I
would like you all to roll initiative. Oh please.
Oh no. Okay, what did everybody get? For Gorda,
I got a 16. And he rolled a 4. Vayne rolled 16.
So as you're discussing the uh your current predicament
of absolutely being well i wouldn't say absolutely
being lost but this appearance of a fork in the
road uh immediately something jumps out almost
out of nowhere and then takes a chunk out of
gimbal and it is this huge dog -like thing and
takes a bite out of him And as he takes a bite
out of Gimble, it disappears once more. Whoa.
Okay. That was... Okay. What... Did anyone see
that? Oh, goodness. Oh. What was the point of
the rope? What was the point of the rope? Is
he alive? Gimble is just like... And you see
a piece of his... What do you call it? His suit
now ripped from this dog -like creature. And
as you're all wondering, Annie, another dog appears
just in front of you. And you see it goes and
it tries to take a bite out of you. Whoa, okay.
Stupid street dog. Now, does a seven hit? Seven
does not hit. Okay, so you see this dog appear
just before you. It tries to take a bite out
of your huge leg, but misses. And you see it
immediately. As it misses, it disappears. Okay,
that's not great. We can't exactly move forward.
We can't move back. I think we're surrounded
by dogs. Yeah, so the one that disappeared, the
one that took a chunk out of your leg, you now
find it on the east side of the... of the the
roads and it's like about 40 feet away goddard
you're up oh this is this is not good um back
to back if we can and i'm going to hold uh hold
my action and cast mind sliver so the snake just
flare up and it's just getting ready to like
release this psychic energy towards whatever
dog comes out into melee combat Okay. All right.
Well, sorry, appears. It's within 60 feet. At
the moment, you do see one of them, which is
on the east road. Yes. The one that took a chunk
out of Annie disappeared and has reappeared about,
he Nightcrawler bamfed on the east road and you
see him about 40 feet away. I'm going to mind
sliver that one then. Sure. So can you make me
a DC 13 intelligent saving throw, please? Sure.
DC intelligence check. Yep. DC 13. So this thing,
it does a total of 10. Alrighty. So it takes
two points of psychic damage, and from its next
saving throw, you reduce 1d4 from that. That's
my turn. So it's next to what, sorry? Saving
throw. Okay. Alright. Raynor, you are up. Okay.
You just saw two of these huge hulking dogs that
took a chunk out of Gimble and disappeared. And
then you see another one that tried to leap towards
Annie, trying to take a bite out of her, but
disappears. And you now see one that had reappeared
on the east road, just about 40 feet away from
you. Mm -hmm. So... He's kind of going to look
at the one that Gordar had kind of targeted.
And he's going to use Tasha's Hideous Laughter.
Okay, very good. Go ahead and... Does he have
to make a save? A wisdom saving throw. I think
it's 13 as well. And I'm minus 1d4 out of this,
is that correct? Yep. Okay. So that is a 12.
So it now you see you cast your Tasha's Hideous
Laughter and it's now giving off this hyena -like
cackle as it falls on its side just laughing
if dogs can laugh. Is there anything else? That
is all. You see another one just appear before
you this time, Rainer. Just bamfs in front of
you and is going to go ahead and try and take
a chunk out of your leg. And does a nine hit.
It does not, thankfully. Okay. So this one disappears.
As it tries to take a bite, it disappears and
then reappears on the west road. Okay. Annie,
you're up. You can now see two of these dogs.
One on the west road and one on the east road.
Great. Annie's going to use her magical action
to create her cannon, her eldritch cannon. So
from her prosthetic arm, you can kind of see
the fingers switching out for Smith's tools.
As below the hand, uh different sorts of materials
with a purple glow um they form together to create
a small how did i describe it before cylinder
a small cylinder and a handle on top just something
simple easy easy to hold and with her bonus action
she's going to do force ballista cool which one
are you aiming at Gonna aim at the one closest
to her, which is on the east, I believe you said
before? Sure. Yeah. They're essentially equidistant
from where you're standing, but... Okay, great.
Okay, so that's 2d8 force damage. Yep. Oh, wait,
I should have rolled to hit first, huh? That's
probably a good idea. Yeah, probably. Okay. Is
that a d20? Yep. Does a 7 hit? Most certainly
not. So you fire your cannon and it goes a bit...
Oh, actually, do you get an advantage? Because
it is prone? Oh, not with ranged weapons. It's
a disadvantage with ranged weapons on foreign
targets. Okay, so roll it again because you have
disadvantage. Okay. Does a 12 hit? I'm sorry,
but we're going to have to take that seven. We're
going to have to take that seven. And unfortunately,
as you fire your cannon, this thing is just too
low under the ground. And it is, while its movements
aren't frantic, it is a little harder to hit.
And so you just, well, not just, but you do miss
this thing. So that is your bonus action. Yes.
Do you also have an action in that case? Uh,
that was a magical action to create the cannon.
Oh, so that, okay. All right. So that wasn't
a boss. Okay. All right. Uh, is there anything
else you'd like to do? Um, I believe that would
be it for now. Okay. Uh, that's the cannon. So
another dog appears, uh, this time teleporting
right in front of gimbal, uh, is going to try
and take a chunk out of gimbal. Okay, you see
this thing just grab onto Gimble's leg and is
now slowly trying to drag Gimble away. Now, the
dog onto the east road, it is... Oh, it can't
do anything, right? Because it's under the effects
of the laughter, correct? Yeah, incapacitated.
And then... It has to make a saving throw. At
the end of it. Okay, so you're... Godar, your
d4 thing, is that constant or is that a one -time
thing? No, it's just the next one. Okay. All
right. So it is, it loses, basically loses its
turn, but it still needs to make a whiz save
and it is with advantage, correct? Only if it
gets hit. Ah, okay. Only if it gets hit. It did
not get hit. So it will go ahead and make its
wisdom saving throw. And it is a total of eight.
So this thing is still down, giggling its way
through, hyena laughing its way through. Gordar,
you are up. You can see now another dog had just
appeared just right in front of Gimble, has taken
a chunk out of Gimble and is trying to drag him
away by the foot. Goodness, this is not good
at all. Well, the snake crown is going to flare
up. as i'm going to activate innate sorcery so
for that my attack rolls are at advantage my
dc goes up by one um and i'm going to cast i'm
going um you see the magical uh snakes just flare
up going up his arms that like tattoos like appear
and they also curl up his neck and around his
throat as he speaks out towards the dog trying
to um attack uh gimbal and as a echoey voice
comes out of his throat he's going to say flee
i'm going to cast command very cool a new spell
that i have uh so So you need to make a wisdom
saving throw, please. DC 14. And if it fails,
the target drops whatever it is holding and then
ends its turn. Okay, that is a total of 19. 19,
so it succeeds. Anything else happens with that?
Nope. Okay. It doesn't seem to heed your word
as it's now slowly trying to drag Gimbal away.
Is there anything else you want to do? Nothing
else I can do. Raynor, you are up. There's now
three dogs in total that you can see. One that
is taking Gimbal away. One at the East Road and
one at the West Road. What do you do? He's going
to... What can he do? He's going to use Vicious
Mockery on the one that is dragging Gimbal away.
Okay. All right. How does Vicious Mockery work
again? So he... uses a string of insults at the
creature that can seal here within range and
they must succeed on a wisdom saving throw of
14 okay wisdom saving throw 14 and that is a
12 so what happens at this point he's like oh
puppy oh puppy you don't even have any owners
oh what a yucky puppy okay Go ahead and give
me its damage. Three. A three. Okay. All right.
You can see as you're not sure if it's paying
attention to you or not, but it is still trying
to drag Gimble away. Is there anything else you
want to do? I'm going to give Bardic Inspiration
to Gordar. okay so he's gonna kind of turn backwards
and go go go godar boom all right perfect uh
now this one the one on the west road uh it disappears
and reappears in front of you uh let's see rainer
so you now as you do your go go uh go go godar
this dog just bamps right in front of you and
he's going to take a try and take a bite out
of you and that is going to be uh nine verse
ac does not hit it is now beginning to sort of
circle you this one dog annie you are up okay
um annie is going to see that reyna is being
circled by a puppy So she's going to cast Sanctuary
on Raynor. Okay. Could you go ahead and just
tell me what that does again, please? Yeah. You
ward a creature within range until the spell
ends. Any creature who targets the warded creature
with an attack roll or damage spell must succeed
on a wisdom saving throw or either choose a new
target or lose the attack or spell. Okay. Interesting.
Cool. Is that an action or a bonus action? That
is a bonus action. Okay, and what would you like
to do for your action? For my action, Annie is
going to use Force Ballista of her cannon again
and target the three puppies. One of them is
carrying Gimbal. You have two within your group
now. One that is dragging Gimbal away. There
is another that is now kind of circling Rainer,
and you have one at the east. Okay. And he's
going to target the Force Ballista to the puppy
that's on the east road. That is currently prone.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. The one on Gimble.
Sure. Go ahead and just give me that roll, please.
Oh, that's another bonus action. Oh, no, that's
activate. Yeah, so to order your cannon, you
need to use your bonus action. Can you forego
your action to use it as a bonus action? No.
So you cannot command this because you've already
used your bonus action for the spell that you
cast. So you just have a plain action. Well,
just a standard action. Okay, Annie's going to
make her way closer to Gimbal and the dog that's
holding on to him. And what are you going to
do? She's going to chase the dog and she's going
to try and... She's going to try and snatch gimbal
from the dog. Okay. Opposing strength checks,
please. Ability check? Yeah. So you just have
to beat Nat 20, baby. Okay. So you rolled a Nat
20. The dog rolled a Nat 1. so i just need to
point out the duality of the two at both end
of the spectrum which is amazing because you
rolled a 20 and it rolled one okay so you try
to pull gimbal out of the maws of this uh this
dog And as you're pulling, you manage to shake
Gimble off with pieces of his suit, sort of his
diving suit ripping off. And it is now within
the jaws of this thing. Is there anything else
that you'd like to do? Oh, my God. Gimble, don't
get eaten by dogs again. Do you hear me? I don't
know what to do. Pulls out his book, starts drawing
the dog. Now's not the time for that gimbal.
Is there anything else you'd like to do? No.
Okay. Now with that very same dog, as it's pulling
away, trying to pull, or fail to pull gimbal
away, it has now disappeared and is now on the
east road. And you can see it sort of just circling.
And the one on the... Sorry, no, I would... Not
East Road. It went to the West Road. Okay? So
that particular one is now on the West Road.
The one on the East Road at the moment is still
currently prone. Cannot do anything, so it needs
to make another Wisdom saving throw to see if
it can get back up. And it's a 14, not a 13,
because I leveled up. And it rolled a total of
10, unfortunately. So it is still prone, that
particular dog, or the one on the east road.
Godard, you are up. You have a dog that had just
disappeared and reappeared on the west road.
You have the dog on the east road, which is currently
prone. And you have one dog that is currently
circling Rainer. oh goodness i'm sick of all
these dogs the mouse he's keep running getting
eaten and then the snakes flare up and the air
kind of vibrates a little bit in front of him
um in a 15 foot cone he's going to try and angle
it or the dog that's circling raynor um is going
to you see a wave like wave after wave just like
come from him of just like uh slightly green
kind of waving mist as i'm going to as a bonus
action oh as a magic action sorry cast a new
spell dragon's breath oh cool how absolutely
apt for where we are And can you make me a DC
14 dexterity saving throw? As a bonus action,
I am activating it to cast this waving poison
force. And he rolled a very large number of seven.
Alrighty. So it's going to be poison damage.
That's 3d6. That is eight points of poison damage.
as a kind of like the jaw kind of like detaches
as well like a snake and like falls down the
the fang teeth are a little bit more prominent
much like a snake's and the full like crown goes
off as this wave of just like poisonous energy
seeps into the creature okay very cool all right
is there anything else you'd like to do that
is my action and bonus action Perfect. Raynor,
you see Godard just spew this poisonous - Didn't
spew. Sorry. What would be the apt word here
then, if not spew? It did the Medusa stare, and
then there was waves of energy coming off him.
Sorry, okay, I don't know why that didn't stick
to my head. That! You had just witnessed. I'm
separating it from a dragon's breath or just
spewing up. So that you had just witnessed which
inflicted the dog that is currently circling
around you. What do you do? Okay. How close is
Gimbal to me? We can say a good maybe 10 feet
now. 10 -15 feet. And if they're circling me,
do they get opportunity if I move? If you move
towards Gimbal, yes. Yes. Okay, what I'm going
to be doing is using my Mage Hand. I'm going
to be creating my Mage Hand. That's an action,
so I'm just going to create the Mage Hand. And
it's now invisible, so I can use my bonus to
shove if I wanted to. So, I'm just going to try
and shove the one that's not prone. The one that's
circling you, or the one on the west road? The
one that's circling me. Okay, go ahead, and does
it have a particular roll that you need to make?
It is a DC 8 plus my ability modifier, which
is plus 2, so 10. Okay, let's see if it makes
that. I'll end my proficiency. So 12. I think
so. You make the attempt. You see. Well, you
don't see. You telekinesis. I can't speak. Telekinetically.
Word to heart. Telekinetically push this dog
away from you. unfortunately you can see that
the the dog does not uh it seems to be unaffected
and is continuing to just circle you sweet that's
his entire action okay all right let's take a
look let's go oh and that one that you did just
try to shove is now going to try and pounce towards
you uh cool let's just see here So does a 23
hit? A 23 does hit. Okay. So I want you to go
ahead as you try to push this thing, it lunges
towards you and it takes a bite out of one of
your legs. And just go ahead and take six points
of damage from it, please. Yep. And as it takes
this bite, you see this dog disappear. And it
is now on the West Road. Not the same distance
as the other one. A little bit closer. So it
is currently maybe about 20 feet away from you
guys. Annie, you are up. Okay. Annie is going
to... let's make sure i do this correctly otherwise
i'm going to cry uh with gimbal next to her and
the puppy just ahead behind it's on the west
road now so you've got two dogs on the west road
and one of the east road okay uh and he's going
to do the flamethrower action a bonus action
of her cannon And aim it for the two puppies
on the west road. Okay, let me just take a look
here. You're going to have to order it to move
closer because... Yep. So you order your little
cannon to move forward towards the west road.
And it gets into this prime position where it
can aim for both. And you're doing the flamethrower,
is that correct? That is correct. Okay. So, and
they need to make a dexterity saving throw? Yep.
Dexterity saving throw. All right. What's the
DC? It is a DC of 13. All right. Okay. So let's
go ahead and do that. One of them rolled a natural
20. And then the other one, the one that's further
away. This one. You're not going to like this,
Bella. Larry saying it. I'm not going to like
it, but it is also a 20. Are you? I am not joking.
Hold on a second. This is how we're going to
die? Okay. Wow. That's BS, first of all. This
is how we find out Larry hates us. I'm showing
you my dice roll right now. I've revealed it.
No, I don't believe you. You fudged it. I somehow
fudged it. Okay. But do they take at least half
damage? Actually, I have something of a passive
ability called Lucky. Oh, interesting. Yeah.
Okay. What does Lucky do again? Go read it for
me. You have a number of luck points equal to
your proficiency bonus, which in Annie's case
is two, and can spend the points on the benefits
below. You regain your expended luck points when
you finish a long rest, blah blah blah. When
a creature rolls a d20 for an attack roll against
you, you can spend one luck point to impose disadvantage
on that roll, or for advantage when you roll
a d20 for a d20 test, you can spend one luck
point to give yourself advantage on that roll.
Can Annie roll... so can any use the lucky uh
passive ability twice for each of those uh unfortunately
they don't apply because they making a save and
not doing a uh they are not doing an attack roll
or it's not you making an attack roll either
so according to the wording of that particular
thing it is not like portent i don't know if
it's the same in 2024 where you can just assign
a particular role to a particular role but uh
yes unfortunately no i am sorry they both succeed
do they take half damage or not let me read that
again go on read it see if it could also be applied
to a saving throne i'm like half fuming and half
crying okay Half as much damage. Yeah, that's
half as much damage. Okay, so just go ahead and
roll the damage rolls for me. Yep. So each of
them take three fire damage. That's okay. And
you still have your action. Annie is really dejected.
She's irritated that the weapon isn't working
as well as it used to. She's feeling pretty goddamn
angry. So she's going to set the cannon down
on the floor. Well, no, the cannon has gone forward
to get in range. Sorry, my brain is just out
of it. She's going to, from her back, pull out
her rifle. And she's going to aim it at the dog
on the east path. You will have disadvantage
because that one is prone. That's fine. Are you
going to aim for that one? Gonna aim for that
one. Alright, go ahead and aim for the one at
the east road, and you have disadvantage on this
shot. What did you get? Does a 10 hit? Unfortunately,
no. That thing is still cackling. Is there anything
else you'd like to do? Cry in the corner. Okay.
That's a free action. So, the one that's furthest
away... has now disappeared and has now made
and has now reappeared in front of you goddard
okay uh this miserable dog is going to go ahead
and take a bite out of you and does a 16 hit
shield does not perfect uh so it's try so you've
cast shield is that correct yep So this thing
tries to take a bite out of you, but then you
have your shimmery... What color was your shield
again? It's like a faint greenish gray just...
...bears in front and completely stops this dog
just taking a bite out of you. Not today, mutt.
Oh, shut it. Okay, so the one that is currently
laughing like a hyena, it is now going to try
and make that save. Let's see if he does. And
it rolled a 12. The DC was 13, wasn't it? 14.
14. It's still cackling. That poor dog. Well,
poor us. We're dying here. Godar, you are now
up. Godar, you are up. I said, piss off. And
it's going to flare up again. I'm going to, as
an action, cast Mind Sliver upon it. So DC 14
intelligence saving throw, please. It got a total
of... You're not going to believe this. But another
nat... You got another natural 20. Another nat
20. Alrighty. Following up, the waves of poisonous
energy is going to rupture over. As a bonus action,
I am activating Dragon's Breath. Can you make
me a dexterity saving throw DC 14, please? Okay.
It got a 13. 13. That fails, so it takes 11 points
of poison damage. Perfect. Alright. Sit, mutt.
And that's going to be Gordos' turn. It whimpers
as it feels this wave of energy that, not spew,
not spew, it just felt itself rapture of this
wave of energy hits it. Raynor, you are up. Raynor
is very hurt right now. So he's kind of just
been like, what can I do? What can I do? What
can I do? As he's going to cast invisibility
on himself. Okay. You are now invisible. That
is your main action, correct? Yes, that is my
main action. And as the bonus, he's just going
to use a telekinetic to try... I don't think
anyone's being attacked right now, are they?
Apart from like... There's just... one in front
of godar yeah so he's just going to try and push
the one that was circling him like shove him
again okay all right go ahead and give me that
oh they're gonna make a dc save yeah a strength
of 14 it turns out so it's my charisma ability
modifier plus my proficiency Okay, so that's
a total of six. So the one that's circling you
guys at the moment is the one that Godar attacked,
and it's now ten feet away from you, Godar. It's
no longer within melee range. Is there anything
else you'd like to do? Nope. Okay. The one remaining
on the west road, it disappears once more, and
it has now reappeared before you, Annie. And
this thing, it's going to go ahead and try and
take a bite out of you. Stupid straight dog.
Does that... Does that... Does a 16 hit? It does
hit, unfortunately. Okay, this thing takes a
bite out of you. I want you to go ahead and take
four points of damage, please. Great. Let me
just do that. And... As it turns out, it is now
your turn. Okay, great. So just before that,
I can't recall if this is how it works, but because
the dog is currently biting on Annie's leg, gross,
by the way, rabies, she has a giant ancestry
Storm's Thunder. reaction where when you take
a damage from a creature within 60 feet of you
you can take a reaction to deal 1d8 thunder damage
to that creature okay that would have been uh
during its turn okay so we can say that you did
use your reaction for that so go ahead and do
that uh damage please okay so that's one damage
okay and now you can take your turn okay great
um to actually do here that is the question isn't
it so you now have a dog in front of you uh there
is a another dog that is just 10 feet away from
gadar and another one that is still currently
pro which is at the east road okay you can see
gimbal kind of like panicking at this point god
damn it okay i really didn't actually prepare
for any combat for this one i have like no combat
spells You have a gun! I do have a gun, but it
doesn't necessarily work at point -blank range,
now does it? No, it doesn't. No. Okay. So instead,
Annie's going to do a bonus action to command
her cannon to travel 15 feet so that it is facing
the dog. Is the turn perpendicular? So it's like...
going in a t -shape so annie is facing the dog
but the cannon is facing the dog on the side
i can say i can say with your cannon are you
going to do another flamethrower no yeah i'm
gonna do a different thing okay uh you can't
so whichever dog that you aim for you can most
certainly aim for either one of those to the
dog that's in front of annie so the cannon travels
15 feet uh or however long it takes to be on
the side of the dog that's facing annie and from
there the cannon will do a force ballista to
hopefully push the dog out of the way okay go
ahead and uh do they need to do anything or do
you need to roll something for that one uh let's
roll to hit shall we does an 11 hit so is it
just a flat roll you don't add any modifiers
to it That much I actually am not sure of. I'm
reading it and I'm not seeing anything that says
it, but I'm not seeing anything that does say
it. You're making a ranged spell attack. So you
add that to your modifier, your spell casting
modifier, which in this case is intelligence.
Which is a plus three. So three and then plus
two. So it's a total of five. 16. Does a 16 hit?
A 16 most definitely hits. Okay, great. Perfect.
So go ahead and roll the damage, which is, what
was it again? 2d8 force damage. 2d8. So that's
5 force damage. And does it have any other additional
effects? If the target is a creature, it is pushed
up to 5 feet away from the cannon. Okay. Now,
did you command your cannon to be opposite to
you or at the same... So it's Annie, and then
in front of Annie is the dog. The cannon would
be on the side of the dog. Okay. So it's like
an L shape. Is there anything else you can do
or would like to do? Annie would like to take
five paces back. Okay. Yep. You can take five
feet behind, five, ten feet, as much as you need.
but you will not incur an attack of opportunity.
Okay, great. Kadar, the one that is circling
you at the moment, it's going to go ahead and
try and take another bite out of you. All righty.
And it's sort of, what's the word here? It sidesteps
you in a way, and it lunges towards you. Does
a 17 hit? I still have short ups, I know. No,
perfect. And as it... As it takes its lunge,
it hits the shield once more. It whimpers and
then disappears and then reappears at the west
road once more. Okay, so it is now the dog that
is still prone. Cackling like a hyena. Let's
just go ahead and see if it makes it safe. As
it is cackling like that hyena sound thing. it
ceases and now stands back up thank that's my
one and gordar it is now your turn why won't
you just go away and i'm going to bonus action
um dragon's breath um so dc14 Dexterity saving
throw, please. DC 14. Which one are you aiming
at? The one that's only... The only close one.
The other two have blinked away. That is a 13.
13, so it fails. It takes 11 points of poison
damage. Okay. What does this look like? Pretty
much just sit or go away already as the waves
continue and then the poison just seeps into
its paws and corrodes it on the skin. before
it just kind of just falls limply, dying from
the poison running through its veins. Okay, that
one is definitely Gornsky's. Okay. And then he's
going to, as an action, turn to one of the other
ones in the distance. You as well! And the little
beads of poisonous energy on the ring finger
and pointer finger on the right hand are going
to fang out, and he's going to sorcerous burst
one of them in the distance. okay which one the
one in the west or one of the east west sure
uh because it's a sorcerer spell i attack with
advantage perfect in the innate form for a total
of 18. that definitely hits all right and then
it's poison damage so it takes seven points of
poison damage What does this look like? Once
again, same thing. The snake fangs, like they
travel through the air spiraling like a helix
and there's like a faint trail behind them and
it kind of like zips around and then embeds themselves
into the dog's neck before like sinking in like
snake fangs would. And then you see like the
venom course a little bit through the veins before
the dog just stops. It's hard stopping and just
goes limp and falls around. Very good. Okay,
that one is most definitely down and out. And
he's just heavily just like panting, having to
use so much sorceress energy in this fight right
now. Oh, goodness. Can someone just take out
that last one, please? I'm sick of dogs. And
with that, Raynor, you are up. Okay. Raynor is
going... He's still invisible for the moment.
He's gonna try to get as close to Gimble as possible.
He's crying. Yes. I can imagine. And he's just
going to try dragging Gimble as far away from
Annie as possible. Another one's got me! Another
one's got me! I can't see it! As Gimble is being
dragged. Yeah. So... From there, I'm going to
cast Darkness. Oh, cool. What does this look
like? I've never seen Raynor do this before.
So what does this look like? So he's going to
be dragging. He's like, shut up, please shut
up, please shut up. As invisibility kind of fades
from him. And as he's speaking, black liquid
kind of smoke. Kind of comes out of his mouth.
That was terrifying. As it surrounds the 15...
That is cool. As the 15 feet radius around him.
And he's like, shut up and just stay down. I
love you and I miss you. Is there anything else
you'd like to do? As Gimble is just... Okay.
That's it. He's just going to tell Gimble, just
stay prone. Annie, you are up. You just see this
shadowy, inky blackness just sort of, not descends,
but envelops Gimble. You have no idea what this
causes. You don't know if it's another dog that
can just turn into shadow. you don't know if
it's this place everything's out of whack and
but there is still another dog that you can see
at the distance at the east road i'm just going
to ignore that and uh the the cannon is going
to um move so that it's closer to the dog on
the east road as it prepares itself to act as
a flamethrower towards the dog Okay, and it's
going to go ahead and do its flamethrower -y
thing. So that means it makes a DC saving throw?
Yes, it does. Okay, so that is a total of...
So that is a total of... That is a dirty 20.
What are you doing? what that is just that is
i don't i don't i don't trust guys i'm sorry
this can't be true you need to go back to rolling
real dice not using it I mean, yeah, I agree.
I like rolling physical dice. If you want this
to end, just drop rocks on us. What are you doing?
Bring the dragon back. What are you doing? That
is a dirty 20. What's more a rumbling you hear
and overhead you see the dragon with a great
big roar. No, I'm kidding. Larry, I swear to
God, I will end you. All right. So it does take
half damage though. Is that correct? It does.
Yes, that is correct. So go ahead and give that
to me, please. Okay. So what's the total? Okay.
Total is nine. Okay. Do we do decimals? No, we
round down. Okay. So that's going to be four
damage. Yes. All right. And that was your bonus
action. What are you going to do in your main
action? Just a question. How far is the dog?
Roughly about 30 feet away. 30, 40 feet away.
Okay, great. Rifle time. Go on. This time you
have a clear shot. No disadvantage whatsoever.
It is no longer prone and it is now currently
standing. Come on. As she's going to take aim
of her rifle. Please, gods. Does a 20 hit? Most
definitely hits. Go ahead. You take aim with
your rifle with a sense of frustration. previously
missing all your shots. But this time around,
you've just, you've got it right in your sights.
You fire your rifle and it hits. Go ahead and
give me the damage. Right where I want you. Exactly.
That is nine damage. Okay, very good. Now, is
there anything else you'd like to do? At this
moment, no. All right. this dog that you just
shot at it almost takes a step back and you're
pretty sure you did make a hit but as as you
fired your gun it disappeared and has now reappeared
in front of you it being this close to you you
can see that your shot did make purchase and
you can see a gunshot wound upon it and upon
its shoulder but Even with that brief moment
of you taking notice of this, it jumps straight
towards you and it's going to take a bite. You
mangy mutt. And as it tries to take a bite out
of you, does a eight hit? An eight does not hit.
Okay. And that's that little guy. Goddard, you
are up. Oh my goodness. I am sick of these. dogs,
puts the mouse key to rain off. Where is the
mouse? Where is it? You see he's huge. Yeah,
he's just a huge blank dome, just like, I really
hope that it's in there. And then just going
to bonus action, do the dragon's breath. So DC
14 dexterity saving throw, please. I will this
time roll with dice. You better. I do not trust
you. Okay, so what was the DC once more? 14.
Deck save. What is that? Did you roll another
natural 20? No, it's not. What is that? I was
using these Cthulhu dice here, so it's a bit
hard to read. So that's a 14 plus a 3, so that's
a 17. So it does succeed, so it takes half damage.
So that'll be 6 points of poison damage. Okay.
So you see, once again, with your, well, not
unseen, but this force that you've pushed from
yourself, it has, as far as you can tell, has
taken its effect on the dog. All right, as an
action, sorcerer's burst. It is an advantage.
I needed that advantage. I'm going to use my
bardic inspiration. Yeah, let's go. It's a d6.
D8, I think. You're a D8. Oh. Make that a day.
Very nice. Does a 12 hit? Unfortunately, no.
You just missed. Bugger. So you see your sorcerer's
burst as it goes flying through the air, and
as it's about to hit this thing, it just jumps
right out of the way, and your spell hits the
ground. Is there anything else you'd like to
do? That is all. for now thank you very much
very nice and beautiful and amazing dm okay okay
you know what you made that hit you've played
upon my ego you've actually killed the thing
all right right now you are up hidden in this
uh this inky blackness uh with gimbal who is
now whimpering still but quietly this time so
it's a bit of a What do you do? Rainer is just
going to be trying to just shush for a minute.
As he's trying to listen for the dog. So that
he can just shout out. You can't see out of this
darkness, correct? No, I cannot. So it is complete
darkness. I can't even tell what gimbal is. I
can just hear him. And I'm just like, shut up,
shut up. Please. He's doing his best. Can you
hear the dog outside of this area? Sure. Okay.
So he's going to use the vicious mockery and
he's just going to scream out. Nobody wants a
dog that can't understand commands. Okay. And
the DC for that is 14. 14 wisdom. Like he's very
injured. So he's, he can not think. Nor can I.
That is a total of 10. Sick. It's a 1d6 psychic.
Two points of damage. Okay. Is there anything
else you'd like to do? Nope. Prone. Go prone
if I can. Okay. You are now currently prone.
Annie, you are up. You're... Okay. Looking at
this mangy mutt that's still... for some reason
cannot die uh she's going to aim her rifle once
more feeling good about this shot go on oh you're
at a disadvantage by the way because it is in
front of you that's fine annie what did you roll
um one i see now do i do something fun here do
i do something interesting something wait wait
before you do wait wait wait wait before you
do let me double check something Something so
torturous. I got it too, Rob. Let's see if she
remembers. Ladies and gentlemen, let's see. Can
we have one of those countdown music playing?
Wait, what are you guys talking about? What are
you guys talking about? I'm scared. I'm going
to give you 30 seconds. Is it my luck passive
ability? Yes. Yeah, okay, I was looking at that.
Why'd you think it was something else? This session
is not going great for me right now. You're like
half gaslit in there thinking it was something
else. That's why I reacted, because her saying,
wait, can I use it? I'm like, yes! Rob, I'm not
gonna lie, when I saw your arms go up, I thought
you were cheering for Larry to do something horrible.
No! I was like, you can use it. I also thought
that. Yes! Yeah, so with your luck you can reroll
your attack roll, is that correct? Yes. Could
you go ahead and just read that for me? When
you roll a d20 for a d20 test, you can spend
one luck point to give yourself advantage on
the roll. Okay, so that means it would have been
just a flat attack roll. Okay. So, are you going
to use your luck roll for this? Yes. One of your
luck points? Alright. So that means I'm looking
at the dice that you rolled from your disadvantage,
which was an eight and a one, because we're giving
it a flat roll instead. I don't know if I should
just take that eight or just have you re -roll.
I want to say re -roll. What does the other players
say? Rob. I'm leaving this up to God. Yes, that
is I, the God. What shall we do? His luck is
different in 2024 than it is in 2014. You know
what? Just for this moment, I'm feeling kind
of nice, I guess. Kind of. I will allow you to
re -roll it. Just this one time. But normally
I would take that eight. So you need to, yeah.
Well, because it is the first roll of the two.
Yeah, makes sense. But just before I do re -roll
that attack roll, Annie just has like, for some
reason, a feeling that she should look up to
the sky, take her right hand and just give the
sky the bird. We are going to be taking that
eight, which gives you a total of... No, no,
no. You brought this upon yourself, so that is
11 total. Does an unnatural 20 hit. A dirty 20
most definitely hits. Yeah. Okay. So now this
is at point -blank range as well. Five damage.
Okay, so how does this look like? Okay, Annie's
going to look down at the mangy mud. She's going
to say... go away and she's going to aim it she's
almost going to like push the rifle closer to
the mutt's face and right right above the snout
like the bridge of the nose she's going to just
aim and shoot point blank and you see the bullet
just go through the fur then the skin then the
bone you hear crackling you hear specks of bone
just appear in this in the air okay so this is
a uh mortal combat fatality situation that we're
getting right now you just see the bullet go
straight through the skull of the mutt and it
comes out at the back of its head as it kind
of like shivers goes stiff and then just flops
over as the now corpse of this thing flops down
and hits the ground. There's a moment of silence
with the faint whimper of Gimbal from the shadow.
And you hear a voice, Annie. Well, that was an
amazing shot. That was something that I really
like. And we're going to take a break. Add time,
folks. Add time! Add time! Hi there. I'm Mike
Kubrick here. And I'm the Chief Major of Nightwatch.
I have been with Nightwatch for the last 30 years.
And even longer than that, Nightwatch has been
keeping your community, nay, your city safe.
Because of Nightwatch, Anteli is the safest nation
this world has to offer. And now I come to you
with a hand reaching out and asking, will you
join our ranks? We are looking for new recruits
who really want to make a difference. People
who care about others and their community. Those
who are willing to defend the defenseless. Be
trained with the skills and be equipped with
the tools to make you the best of the best of
law enforcement. Uphold the tenets of this great
institution of justice, honour and peace. Just
a few words from our boys in black. I'm getting
too old for this shit. I'm just out here ensuring
I keep our community safe. Ah yeah, what a shame.
He was only two days from retirement. Gonna miss
that bloke. Yeah, I used to be out here selling
smack on the street, but then was muscled out
by another gang. So I joined the Night Watch
and ain't no one selling smack out here no more.
Well, what are you waiting for? Take up the mantle
and wear the cloak with pride and exude the values
we represent. Justice, honor, and peace. This
has been Mike Who Works Here, your chief major,
and I approve of this message. And that was a
word from our sponsor, so please look them up
and just make sure, you know, give them a little
business their way and just make sure you tell
them where you heard them from. Most definitely
us. And also while you're there, leave a comment
or... rating for us, because small podcasts need
it to grow and spread. Five star only! Five star
only! What the fuck is this guy doing? You can't
see him, but you can do this accent. You give
five star only, okay? Five star! I can't do this,
but he can. It is okay, I swear. Oh god. No.
We're only starting. Okay. So. You, Annie, had
just taken out the last of these dogs. And you
just hear a voice that says, That was quite a
beautiful shot there, my lady. Yes. Hi. Oh, hello.
And you see this, not portly, but this man, which
you assume is a man. It most certainly looks
like a man with a bowl cut. and sort of like
wispy, very thin mustache and bead. Sort of,
what do you call this one? Just the mustache.
Yeah, a goatee, yes. Essentially, it doesn't
have the side bead thing, sideburns, whatever.
A bowl cut and wearing an exceedingly tight shirt
that... He seems to be proud of wearing and showing
off his physique. He stands at about a Danny
DeVito height, which is now a standard measurement
unit that we all adhere to. Yes, we all agree
to that Danny DeVito height. He stands at four
Danny DeVito heights. How tall is he? I have
no... My non -visual imagination isn't working
here. How tall is Danny DeVito? I think he's
four something. Four, four, nine. Yeah. It was
around that height. Oh God. And you see him holding
like, uh, this, uh, like he's wearing like that
really tight shirt and he's got like these, uh,
jorts, uh, these denim shorts that just hit above
his knees and wearing kingdom heart like shoes
or like Crocs. Also holding a katana. Well, what
looks like a katana. You seem to be such a lovely
lady. Oh no. And can I just say that you have
that giat, he says. I have a what? And Annie
is going to like... Aim down sight at whoever
is speaking to her. He raises his arms, still
holding his blade. I'm just a simple traveler,
m 'lady. Such a lovely lady that I have not seen.
Your beauty just absolutely astounds me. I suggest
you shut your mouth and tell us who you are right
this second or else I will pull this trigger.
That will be rather difficult for me to tell
you who I am if I were to shut my mouth, m 'lady.
Tell us who you are. Now. You can call me Jerememe.
Like Jeremy, but with a meme at the end. I want
to make it known that I'm really trying to stifle
a laugh right now. I can't. It's just so funny.
It's too much. I'm really trying not to die inside.
My name is... God, Larry, what is it with you
and these stupid names? My name is Jerememe.
So, bowl cut, very thin wispy goatee with a very
tight shirt with an anime print on it. It's very
chilly. Let's just say it's very chilly at the
moment for him. It is very chilly for him. Yeah,
go on. Rainer is going to scream outside of this
dome of, like, smoke and say, Are they dead yet?
Oh, I've never seen such a such a black smoky
thing that would speak in such a way. The hell?
Um, I think not all of them. There might be one
new one. What exactly are you? I'm just a wanderer,
a warrior wanderer. As you can see, I have dedicated...
His hands are still up with one hand holding
his blade. As you can see, I have a blade and
I have been training my whole life. I have dedicated
my entire life to this sword. How has he survived
out here? I think he's lying. He's saying this.
Yes, you're right. How could he have survived
out here? As far as you can tell, there is, he
shows no signs of the magical sickness that you
would expect to see from those who have been
exposed here for a long time. If anything, he
seems quite normal. Raynor is going to step out
of this bubble and he's going to be like, kind
of like trying to feel for Gimbal as he's kind
of like dragging Gimbal out of it as well. And
he's going to... He's gonna look at this guy
and he's gonna like... And he's just gonna start
laughing. I don't see what's exactly so funny.
I just came to admire your prowess. And he looks
at you, Annie. Such prowess. Stop talking. He
likes you, Annie. Wait. Stop. talking. She didn't
even kill anything, though. Oh, wait, she killed
one. I killed one. My ribs. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm
sorry. I'm sorry. God, I'll put his hands up,
too. As far as I could tell, it is this lovely...
What was it again? Annie? Yes. Annie, is it?
Yes. It seems that you are the most powerful
of the group, and I absolutely admire that. Annie's
a bit confused, because she... Did not do anything
during that encounter. She just took like two
good shots and that's it. She's quite confused.
She wouldn't call herself the strongest at the
moment. That's not what he saw. Clearly you are
the strongest out of these other boys. And you,
a strong and powerful female. I'm sorry, I can't
hold that in. I feel so gross saying that. Yeah,
that is... I don't care. This attitude is so
disgusting. Okay. This guy, man. God, I can't
keep it in. I can't keep it in. Most powerful
female. Yes. This is all staying in. It's everyone
vomiting. This is... This is so cringe. Excuse
you for automatically assuming that we're all
men over here. You're right. Forgive me, my lady,
he says to Yggdrasil. I am not a lady either,
as the snakes are still flaring up. I can keep
concentrating on this for a while yet, if you
want to burn like the rest of them. He looks
down and then looks towards you. Well, now I'm
just very confused. Hey, buddy. You know what?
You make great points. Annie is the strongest
one here, and she's very, very single. So you
know what you could do? You could heal me, and
then I will help you in your pursuit of such
a strong lady. Raynor, what are you doing? Shut
up. I'm injured. Unfortunately, my skills is
only with a blade. I cannot do this thing that
you say is healing. I am so strong and powerful
that it's not something that I require myself.
That is not something that I have trained in.
Right, so you're useless too. What was your name
again? So I do have these. And he pulls out,
he reaches around his... What do you call this?
Like his belt. And he has a few tinctures with
him. I was told once upon a time that these things
can actually do some sort of healing. However,
you being a man, I don't feel absolutely comfortable
giving them to you. Oh, God. I hate this NPC.
Everyone just takes a level of exhaustion from
this conversation. I take five more levels of
exhaustion and die. Excuse me, my lady. Would
it be proper for me to lower my arms just for
you? I know you. I can understand that you do
admire this amazing physique that I have. And
he's like kind of trying to flex his arms while
he's like trying to show you. Yes. And like he
does that little, you can see through his tight
shirt that he's doing like a pecs dance. Are
you not impressed by my beauty? I'm really not.
Oh, she's playing hard to get. Don't worry. I'm
up for the chase. That's not. And he's going
to lower her gun, but still keeping it like aimed
at him. Aimed at the groin area. Yeah, that.
He lowers his arms. It is not often that we get
travelers in this land. So, I ask you, travelers,
where is it exactly are you heading? As he, like,
tried to straighten himself, and you see him
sort of straighten his katana to his side. Perhaps
I can be of some assistance. Gimble. Yes. His,
like, suit is now torn at different places. The
only thing still standing is, like, still largely
intact is his helmet. Gimble, we're going to,
what is it, Briar Rose? Oh, that is very interesting.
Is there a lady under there? So many ladies.
And he bows down towards Gimbal's direction.
My lady, he says. What is wrong with this man?
Hey, buddy. I was going to say, hey, buddy. You,
oh, Jeremim, was it? That's right, the great
Jeremim. Did you know that Briar Rose, the manor,
is filled with beautiful women? Like, women that
are so tall and beautiful. Like, I think one
of them has this thing that, like, it's called,
like, a domi -momi thing. Do you think you could,
like, help us get there? Because, as you can
see, we don't have the strength for such an endeavor.
He does not even, like, look at you. I am not
looking at you because you are a man. But I shall...
I shall send my gaze towards the beautiful giant
lady, as I am from Briar Rose, but there are
no other beautiful women in that village, for
there is only a grandma, several grandmas, and
several aunties, and myself. There are other
men too, but I am from Briar Rose. I am the protector
of Briar Rose. Clearly. What is so wrong with
an older woman? I'm still very confused. Good.
Please, show us to this briar, Rose. You wish
to have directions? I... Cha! I can... Wait,
hold on. What does he say? Let me think of what
he's... I can't keep up this horrid voice. His
horrid personality. I'm dying inside. Why did
I concoct this individual? My lady. Oh, go. It's
like, ugh. Just give that ick. I am grossed out.
So. We're keeping all of this in, by the way.
I know! The viewers, they're gonna enjoy this.
They're gonna be like, so my fortitude will always
be strong enough for you. Just so you know, across
the board, I have 18 in all my stats. I have
18 strength, 18 dexterity. But only a 3 in stamina.
Would not surprise me. Please rate five. And
a zero in... Actual negative in charisma. Mm
-hmm. He ain't fighting anything. So he considers
your words for a brief moment. He considers your
words for a brief moment, Godar. But then continues
to face you, Annie. And then he goes down on
one knee. and his head down low. What are you
doing? I will take you to my village, my lady.
But there is one thing that I ask of you. And
he looks up and he flings his bowl cut hair around
and he's almost trying to look like he's trying
to like he's doing a smoldering look towards
you. My lady. Is he hungry? Will you marry me?
He says. What is exactly going on? I think you
know as much as we do. Yeah, but this is really
entertaining. For those who are listening, it's
as if me, myself, Larry have proposed to Bella,
the player. And she is just in so much pain right
now. Shall we put him out of his misery? Or her
out of her misery? I don't know what's happening
anymore. As you say that, Godot, he stands up
and he readies his hand on his blade at the ready.
No one will be touching a hair on her head, for
I am her protector. Oh, sit down. Annie, what
are we doing? I'm used to having people bow down
to me, but not like this. Well, command him to
take us somewhere where we can actually, like,
survive. I don't want to get attacked by dogs
again, please. And I don't want to have a simpering...
God, there has to be a term for this type of...
Hero is the most appropriate term. A warrior
of light. A protector of all females of the land.
A virgin. You've seen Annie... I think we can
go with simple. That sounds good. You've seen
Annie roll her eyes before. Not like this. This
rolling of her eyes is full of disdain, disgust,
and just... We can hear the eyes literally rolling.
I don't have time to deal with this. No, I will
not marry you. I don't understand. I did all
the right things. I was polite. I was courteous.
I was being so nice to you. I'm such a nice guy.
There it is. Oh, there it is. There it is. Hey,
Mr. Nice Guy, I'm still injured here. Yes, if
you truly are a nice guy, you will help people
around you and not just... I am sworn to you
now, my lady. I have sworn myself to you. That's
not what I said. I am at your command. Cha. God,
none of my other partners have ever done this.
Oh. Gora slides up next to Annie. If he wants
to be like, you know, a body shield for you,
that could be handy. Yeah, you could have a sneak.
Did you say previous partners? Oh, you are not
a high value woman. Sorry. I was too close to
the mic. This... This can't be happening. Am
I injecting a little too much of real life right
now? A little. Rob is on the floor. Yeah, I was
going to say, for those listening right now,
Rob is on the floor dying. Yes. Bella is shaking.
Listen. i'm actually shaking and avia is just
at shock unsure on where to take this yeah i'm
just like this guy is intense i and he's gonna
get married just so you know that i am a high
value man and i do not know if you are even worthy
of me anymore considering that you had previous
partners That's it. No, no, no. Annie, Annie.
No, no, no. Annie, stop. What? Mr. Jeremy. Okay.
I'm going to be real with you. See this guy here?
The mouse? He is an envoy for a... What was it?
A convoy that's going to be reaching Briar Rose.
Ow. My beard. Sorry. Let me continue. An invasion?
No. A bunch of people coming in. There is also
this beautiful other giant named Sasha. So an
invasion. He's like positioning himself. You
are bringing an army towards my home. Is this
correct? An army of women. Giant women. Women
of varying degrees. Despite this giant lady's
standing, I have sworn myself to her. There is
only her now. Annie. shakes his butt I thought
you said she wasn't high value yes but I had
already sworn to it and I am a man of my word
I am a knife guy so I must stick by my word Annie
Annie can you just command him to take us down
please just bite your tongue and just do it before
he gives us a speech about how his um how he
took all of the right leg and how inferior...
I have taken all the courses and learned about
all the inferior qualities that some of the females
may possess. God damn it. Annie's going to put
her rifle away on her back. Yes. Sorry, Rob looks
defeated, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, Rob
just looks absolutely defeated. He is like done.
He's like checked out and he's just like out
of here. He is out of here. If we didn't need
this motherfucker. Sir. Jeremy. Yes, my lady.
Oh, how I quiver to when you say my name. I...
Gorda and Robert are throwing up in the background.
Hey, guys, just so you know, this is difficult
for me as much as it is for you. He says this
with a massive smile. You need to do a selfie.
Wow! Wow! It is a joke. This is obviously not
true. Annie's just like, she's throwing up in
her mouth and every single word that she speaks,
she's like swallowing it back down. Will you
please take myself and my comrades to Briar Rose?
Will you please accompany us? So you're telling
me that there are just nothing more than your
me comrades and not actually your partners? This
is a job that we must do, so the sooner that
we can get this - So you're saying that none
of them have hit that thing? Excuse me? Do you
want to say that again? Hit that thing? God,
I fucking can't! And he's going to look over
to Raynor and Gordar and her eyes are just going
to go wide as her face is fueled with anger and
disgust as she quietly whispers to them. Can
I please kill this thing? We'll kill them when
we get there. So if we were to avoid Briar Rose,
which way would we go? That's interesting. Okay,
let's see if he picks up on what you're trying
to do. You do not want us to have our tainted.
Can I put a deception roll versus? Yes. Unfortunately,
that's only a seven. Let's do this. Let's do
this one more time. Are you kidding? Are you
kidding? You got a five as well. Third time lucky.
Come on. You got this. Okay. This time it's a
13. Okay. All right, dirty 20. Okay, so what
is your deception? Well, if we were not to go
towards Briar Rose, because you do not want us
to be there, where would we not head? Any other
kind of areas? We do not want to taint your lands
with our manliness. I'm not sure about you, if
you are a man or a woman, but I am, as they say,
very confused. Why does it have to be a singular
binary? He has both his hand, like, holding the
sword. He's got an erection. Yeah, he's, okay,
you know, putting it bluntly. He's got an erection.
He's covering up that thing. He's putting it
in front of his groin. That's very different
from a family friendly podcast. Did we ever say
that? To the listeners, I'm so sorry. No, no.
But we did have an F word count, so that was
probably self -explanatory. I was trying to put
it as politely as possible. Hey, sometimes you
gotta be scientific. Sure, keep telling yourself
that. I am very confused, but if you don't want
to head to Briar Rose, then either road can be
taken. Myth? You need to work on that. Gives
him a wink just to confuse him more. Yeah, he's
like, something's definitely working. And he's
like, not sure where to look. Something's definitely
working. Raynor is going to do Annie a solid.
He's going to put a hand on Annie for a moment,
and he's going to make her invisible. What do
you think you're doing to my lady? Annie, you
disappear. He draws his sword, Raynor. What have
you done to my lady? I have trained my whole
life with this blade. Prepare yourself. Annie's
going to walk around. jeremym and she's going
to take the blunt end of her rifle and she's
going to try and knock him out with it okay give
me a strength check please with advantage um
what'd you get i'm gonna die here that's a five
okay i can i use sure go ahead yeah go ahead
and re -roll that advantage Okay, I still have
both of them, I believe, so I'm just gonna...
Yeah, so this will be your second use of your
lucky for this day. Yep, okay. Can... Can I give
inspiration? I was going to say you also have
one inspiration each. But before anything, please
kindly tell me what you got on your second roll
from your lucky. Four. Let's see. Would you like
to use your inspiration? Yes. Go ahead and re
-roll that. We're wasting all of our stuff. Just
to knock him out. Because he needs it. 17. Thank
fuck. So, you... You... That is my second, and
I don't give a damn. You can have my one. Yeah,
for this, I am using it as... Anyway, you...
Bring forth the blunt end of your rifle and just,
I guess, is blackjack the correct word? You blackjack
him? No, that's not right. You pummel him, I
guess, at the back of the head to which his sword
drops his Ploth II katana from the gods themselves.
He falls out of his hand as he falls face -flat
forward into the dirt and is knocked out. God,
please tell me he's dead. I don't think he'd
be dead, but quickly wrap him up or something.
Agreed. I've used my rope on... It's okay, I
have my own. I don't have any more, unfortunately.
Hang on. She's going to rummage through her bag.
She's going to take out the rope and tie him
up as tightly and as securely as possible. Are
you going to hog tie him? Yep. Okay. You've spent
some time hog -tying him. Now, just a quick note
with your deception there, Godar. He said to
don't take either road. And from Gimbal's assertion
originally, it is straight ahead. Putting that
together, Godar was going to walk straight ahead
after looking at the map before. I, judging by
the way he spoke and the way the map looks, I
think we should just continue straight and make
our own path. Judging by, yes, that person said,
are you sure it's okay if we just leave him here?
I mean, we just had to deal with some dogs. He
doesn't seem to be... Oh, yes, perfectly fine.
He doesn't seem too useful anyway. Oh, I wasn't
going to leave him here. I want... Maybe in the
future we might use him as bait. Does that mean
we have to drag him along? I think so. Really?
Stuff some cloth in his mouth. I don't want to
go anywhere near his mouth. If we get lost, then
we can't get to where we need to go. He might
be able to help us. I really don't want to carry
him. No. Can we switch? You carry the... Drag
him. You don't need to carry him. Can you drag
this one and I'll drag... You have rope, do you
not? You are strong. No. I mean, you're just
slinging it. Oh, God. Have you looked at me?
I'm not built for manual labor. Rainer... Have
you looked at me? I'm literally old now. You're
still stronger than me. Fine. Rainer... With
the tinctures that he presented earlier and refused
to give to you, you now have... Can I just rob
him? Just take everything. In essence, that's
what I was just trying to suggest. I was trying
to suggest to just rob the guy. I'm just going
to take everything he's got. His plus two katana,
that is from the gods. His potions. So, the two
potions in and of themselves, there are just
two standard healing potions. So, yep. The katana
itself is most definitely not a plus two katana.
If anything, it looks like he's bought it at
some fair. where you pull it out well no sorry
it is out of its sheath and you are inspecting
this blade in itself and it is a blunt blade
so it is if anything not even not even worthy
of ceremony but more for show and display can
i do something with this blade i want to cut
off his hair i want to make like a he's He's
got a bolt spot on the back of his head. With
the sword? The katana? With my dagger. Because
you would... Yeah, that's gonna be hard. Okay,
because I was going to say you're not... Yeah.
Fuck it, I hate the guy. So, yeah, you create
a bolt spot at the back of his head. He's currently
hogtied, and yeah. That's what you get for not
healing me. Alright. Alright, well, someone grab
his rope and strike him behind us. Doesn't matter
if he hits a couple rocks or two. And let's continue
forward, shall we? Fine. Annie, wherever you
are, you do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm doing it. Come
now, little mouse. Lead the way. Okay. Are you
okay? This is getting a bit heavy as he takes
off the helmet. It might be a good idea to...
dropper at this point it's already been exposed
he's popped the helmet down just by a huge boulder
and you see him you know he undoes his pack and
he's like taking off the the the diving suit
off and he looks like he's about to cry with
the amount of um the amount of uh ruin that has
befallen his uh diving suit and he's just gonna
get cancer I'm getting a kiss. That's what he's
just like saying to himself. Gimble. Yes? Do
you really like that diver's suit? I like it.
It's the first thing I bought when I was told
that I was going to go on this expedition. Oh,
that's cute. Okay, give it to me. He raises it
up towards you. She has to like bend down a little
bit to actually pick it up and get it herself.
but she's looking at it where it's torn where
it's ripped where the scenes have come undone
and she's going to cast the cantrip mending okay
so i you take some time to repair it and you
watch gimbal in awe as you um you've mended his
suit and he looks at it with such uh such joy
and happiness that uh yeah gimbal's not so bad
now huh guys uh gimbal's not so bad now no i
was still gonna yell at him i was still gonna
i was like no i i don't know it hasn't changed
too much he's irritating in his own way but at
least he has to get himself killed and he is
he's a very brittle lifeline that we have he's
still bad he takes the um as you've mended it
you know he he watches in great astoundment as
you present it back to him and he he thanks you
oh thank thank you annie and he quickly puts
it back on he hurriedly puts it back on and then
he pops the helmet back on again and he's now
back into that toddler style of walking just
don't do anything stupid or reckless this time
okay Well, he can't exactly go too far. I'm still
holding the rope. As he gets pulled back, I'll
try my best. Sorry, I'll try my best. I don't
know why he had the list back. Oh, it's contagious.
God, it's rubbing off on him. So you make your
way... Go look at the flowers. Go look at the
flowers. We just start knocking everyone out.
You make your way northward. Until eventually
at some point now you've been walking and it's
almost, it will be dusk soon in about another
hour. And along the way, Jeremim had woken up
being dragged by, who's dragging Jeremim? Me.
Oh, is this our honeymoon as he's getting grazed?
Is this your idea of a little fun time? Oh, please.
You're not exactly my type. And second of all,
I declined your marriage offer, remember? Oh,
playing hard to get. That's okay. We'll work
on that when we get back to my place, honey.
And as he says that... Gorda leans over to Raynor.
I have a feeling she's aiming for us. Yeah, she
is. I can see it. Zigzagging. And he's kind of
just like, she's swinging the rope in the direction
of any nearby rock, boulder, or pebble. As she
takes a step, it does like an extra flick every
single time as well. It makes sense, but I think
he's starting to like it. Yeah. Yes, hopefully
he isn't knocked out eventually. I'm sick of
his voice. He's just the worst. Do you want his
sword? It's pretty useless. Oh, um, no, just
leave it here. No, but what? I'm just gonna take
it just in case we need to like tell his grandma
that he's being weird I'll leave that to you
I like that and as you're trudging along off
the distance you now it is almost dusk and the
sun is slowly setting you see Briar Rose and
what was said to be a village looks more like
a very busy town uh surprisingly you were informed
that this place should well as far as most have
assumed is empty but you can see smoke billowing
from uh the chimneys uh you can see some folk
just off to the uh off to the just the outside
of the low walls of this village and you can
see like woodsmen collecting wood um and as you're
slowly approaching you see the uh you know the
woodsman is just nice day we're having he says
as you continue to make your way and you have
now arrived at briar rose um they're all weird
yes they seem a bit happy and friendly for people
living in a wasteland that is magically toxic.
So, as you've approached this area just before,
you can see for the most part of this area, color
has somewhat returned. So it is not as muted
and not as drab as it previously was. So there
is a bit more greenery. You also notice that
while it seems normal, there's a lot in this
area that seems to have a particular growth in
forms of crystals. So in the sides of the trees
and stuff at the base of it, you can see crystals
growing out. Even at the walls of the town, there
are smaller... Almost like mushroom -sized crystals.
And then you have, you know, random crystals
of larger size of, you know, like as big as a
post box, if you will. So it's just a variety
of crystals and colors and a friendly woodsman.
And as you all arrive here, Jeremy goes, oh,
right. We're here at my home. So I do have one
thing to say before you continue on. That's where
we're going to end it. Oh, he has full floor
breaking powers now. He's getting too strong.
Please kill him. Everyone stamp on his prone
body. That's where we're going to end it, ladies
and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed that episode.
I hope you... Oh, love and care and be very devout
to our dear old Jeremim. Please comment on what
you think about him. Please don't. If only I
knew Fireball. If only I knew Fireball. Everybody
say goodbye. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. Goodnight,
Mrs. Suddenmonic, wherever you are. That was
dead inside. I don't have anything for this shit.
Who? Hi, please, stop. Don't go anywhere. Not
because I need your love, but because we have
Table Talk coming up right now. What's Table
Talk? Well, Table Talk is where we talk about
the episode we just played, things we enjoyed,
and just talking about, unfortunately, the cringy
man that is Jerememe. But we also plot to kill
him, so stick around. You can see us as personalities
talking about the game that we love. See you
there. God. Now, welcome back to Table Talk.
Hello, hello, hello. I'm Larry, the DM. You probably
already knew that from the episode that you've
just listened to. If you don't, why didn't you
listen to the episode? Exactly. How did you even
get here? She doesn't even go here. Why are you
here? Why have you not reviewed? Yeah, why have
you not reviewed yet? Yes, please review. If
you can't review because you can't leave reviews
on Spotify, at least give that five star, you
know? But you can comment on the episode on Spotify.
Oh, you can? Interesting. Individual episodes,
yes. Wow. Okay, well, there you go. There you
go, folks. No excuses. I'm looking at you. I
can see you. Through this camera lens, I can
see you. I thought you were looking at me. I
thought you were looking at me. Oh my. If you
don't review, Jeremy will come to you. Jeremy
will find you in your sleep. He is now your sleep
paralysis demon. I will. Unless you've reviewed
and left us a rating. He's now my sleep paralysis
demon. God, he's going to come to your window.
He's going to unlock it. He's going to feed you
eggs in the morning. Save yourself. Feed you
eggs in the morning? so i want to also just give
another quick shout out again to uh to knife
trick who did the theme song for this podcast
uh amazing musician uh great guy uh so if you've
you can follow him on spotify so just give him
a follow he has you'll find it all in the description
below of all of his links so he's pretty fucking
awesome guy But in saying that, back to the podcast,
let's first start before anything else, before
we discuss the nitty gritty of everything, let's
just get a quick highlight for each and every
one of you. Let's start with Bella. I have to
say, I think my favorite, sorry, I think my highlight
is actually the introduction of Jeremy. Okay.
Because it just brought out so much of our characters.
And he himself is such an interesting character.
And I think at this point we all just hate him.
Yeah, me too. But I think personally I'm very
grateful for him. Because he's just funny. It
adds a little bit of whimsy to this whole situation.
Especially just after being attacked by dogs.
So, yeah. That was quite a performance, my lady.
I didn't ask for you. Perhaps you could show
me a little more. Okay. So, yeah, like, he's
literally the worst, but I find it somewhat funny
that that is your highlight. So, cool. Good to
know. Rob, highlight, please. Hoo boy. I mean,
I liked us all ganging up on him. Annie's reaction
scene was just hilarious because like she's the
least amount of person who's ever gonna take
shit from this and honestly I'm surprised that
like we were able to well Raina was able to stop
her from just bang Pulling up the gun and just
being like, okay, I'm done with you. We're in
a wasteland. No one's gonna hold me accountable
here. Goodbye Far out How could you do this to
me, Larry? I need to edit this. You need to do
this once. I need to listen to this four times.
Okay, so that whole thing, I think we keep it
all together. Cut nothing out of that, that whole
everyone's reaction, because I think it was absolutely
fucking beautiful. All of our distant screams,
our distant cries. God. oh don't worry there's
gonna be a lot that isn't cut there will be some
things cut just for pacing but otherwise you
can you can get bored listening to it so cutting
for pacing but there's gonna be a lot of things
kept in there yeah far out oh my goodness i am
frustrated with him i'm like you were on the
floor so bad yeah yeah rob was on the floor weirdly
comfortable but yeah i started at the back you
know Rainer. Sorry, Zen. Yes. Aviar. Either is
fine. Whatever is easiest. For me, it's a very
specific thing he said. High value women. And
I was just like, oh god. I could just see Annie
going like, no. No. Both Annie and Bella. I thought
it was really funny. I didn't know how far I
should have taken him. Like, already I was giving
myself the ick. Like, just... He's literally
the worst. Awful. We didn't pick up on that at
all. We didn't. He's so lovable. He's so lovable,
guys. I don't understand. He's the new poster
child. He's going to be the icon. Goodbye, Gimble.
Goodbye, Gimble. Hello, Jeremy. I do love that
you were like, You know, Gimbal isn't so bad,
and we're all just like, no, he still sucks.
He still sucks. The difference is, we can kill
this dude. We can't kill Gimbal. Gimbal's trying
to kill himself. Literally cannot. He's just
an innocent little guy. I don't know what you
mean. He's two steps off Kenny from South Park.
Just constantly getting himself into situations
where he... Like, the dogs instantly attacked
him. He was in, like... Like, around us, protected
by bigger things, and they all went after him,
and we're just like, fuck. Yeah, quick, easy
meal. Quick, easy meal. Makes sense, bro, that
sort of thing. But yeah, man, I think... Yeah.
Look, this table talk has just become a Jeremy
talk. I mean, something on that. I felt like,
I was like... what would Raynor do in this situation
now that like he can't convince us this guy's
just gone he's only looking at it and I was just
like at first he's like gonna try to reason with
him try to convince him and I was just like Annie
you just gotta do it and I felt so bad doing
that to Annie as well I was like oh that's so
gross Raynor but Raynor why are you she really
didn't want to that's where like Godot ended
up like trying to like trying to manipulate him
in a way to get the answers that we need because
i'm like which was very good he obviously doesn't
this is not a cool thing for him and also he
was a little annoyed that he was like just automatically
gendered and it was just like okay fuck off first
of all most you can't put don't try and just
automatically put me in a box and yeah because
and they on a certain you know you know jeromeem
is just is the uh there are only two genders
yes yes yeah so instantly he was like all right
well i don't feel bad manipulating you uh i'm
instantly gonna go into business deception mode
and then just like tried to get exactly what
they needed to the point where if anything happened
afterwards he would they would just turn their
back and just keep walking and listen to the
things in the distance like alright got my answers
bye I'll be honest with you guys I was I was
thinking that you guys would just kill him I
honestly would just kill him try not to be murder
hobo yeah the only reason I stopped Annie was
because I was like there has to be a reason why
he has this energy like he has to be like the
chief son or something so like he never got anything
yeah Well, we don't know yet. He could be. He
could be a big figure in this town if we turned
up and they're like, wait, you didn't meet this
person? We're like, oh, yeah, you know, we saw
him. Oh, what happened to him? Got eaten by dogs.
A big old dragon just got him. The longer we
stay here without, like, you know, telling them
the truth, it could cause some issues. And then
you find out they don't know who Jeremy is. We've
never heard of no germ meme. Who is this person?
We'll just take him back after the dogs and execute
him. Oh, yes. Do you have a well? But yes, very
good. Dragon, come here. I did like the dragon
in particular. Just how, like, the way I was
thinking it, the... dragon did not even register
you guys it's just oh more ants beneath my feet
sort of thing you are not worth my breath and
the whole uh whole scene that that battleground
which i thought would have been interesting to
see of something that uh that had occurred before
and that seems to still be happening though is
within this time but also outside of time concurrently
a paradoxical sort of imagery of this scene that's
happening uh i personally like that uh for myself
and also just the rain of blood which i thought
was very cool it's uh very blade like We need
to have techno music playing. Oh god, we're walking
into a town covered in blood. Yes, you're all
dry blood. So. Yippee! While dragging someone
from the village behind us. Hold tight. Be very
interesting to see. Okay. Now. I would present
to you all now an opportunity to ask at least
one question about anything in the campaign or
the world or this session in particular. So I'm
opening the floor for one question each. So take
a moment to think. Mine's going to probably be
a little bit of a cop -out, but I'm looking forward
to just finding out in the session as we go.
So I'm not going to ask anything. yeah that's
fair uh sometimes a lot of as rob as you know
as a dm not everything is going to come up in
sessions so maybe something it won't pop up again
because it was like in that moment all that kind
of scene yeah no i understand that the things
that i am intrigued about right now we will find
out about next session so what are you currently
intrigued about right now well like you know
like how this town is still thriving in an area
of magic sickness and like death and all that
kind of stuff like from what we've been told
and our understanding of past those walls is
it is a barren wasteland abyss yeah there is
a city here which has some color and is seemingly
thriving yeah so you know that's that's kind
of what i'm intrigued in and interested to get
into next session no i just saw something on
my character sheet anyone got a question anyway
or any other comments i guess in terms of questions
i won't ask it but i will say i am very curious
as to what that actual battle was so now a theory
in my head is just like they are just stuck in
time because the dragon seemed more focused on
just destroying the antelions which could also
just mean the battlefield don't know if it actually
got out of the expanse Yeah, so you do know that
the war did occur 80 years ago, Antili and Metutia.
So that battle scene that you did come across
would have most likely been a battle happening
during that time, 80 years ago. With the dragon
in itself? As childish as it is that Gimbal did
present you with said book, common knowledge
would be in terms of dragons, even though they're
not seen anymore, very rarely seen, undead dragons
aren't a thing. So, yes, there's that. So it'll
be interesting to see if this dragon comes back.
or if there's any ties to the combat the battle
that you guys saw i mean let's have this way
and see zen um my only question and this is a
very important one do you think jeremy cuts his
own hair or is it just he puts a bowl on his
head and then just cuts around it i imagine I
imagine it's like a mum or something or like
one of the our town aunties that just like puts
a bowl on his head and then just like cuts it
like so. I can't wait for Annie to have that
conversation with them and just be like, so this
guy, he's just the worst. And then just talking
to their parents, just ratting him out. He's
getting a haircut and like from an auntie. Did
you know that I'm now betrothed to a lovely,
pitiful lady who seems to have that giat? Annie
would hide her face with pieces of paper from
her bag, trying to make her self -disguise. Can
I just point out, Rob is cringing so hard with
the giat thing. It's like the merger of three
generations of cringe. Just into one character
and I'm like, oh, this is like nice guy from
three different. No, no. Nope. I've done all
the right things. I have been polite. I have
opened those. When the Power Rangers combine
to make one giant mech. Why doesn't she want
to sleep with me? Jeez. Please don't tell me
he's going to kill Tarrasque with that power.
I got a lot of my inspiration from Reddit. Nice
guys. And also, am I the asshole? Yeah, am I
the asshole? That's my well of inspiration, folks.
That character is really similar to another character
that I have heard of. It's called The Chosen.
Does he wear a fedora? And it's just some guy
who carries around with a katana like yours.
And he's just a weirdo. I was going to say, he
wears a shirt with like a, like he doesn't wear
a fedora, he wears like a shirt with like a wolf
on it and that's his fursona. And he has like
big sunglasses. There's a beast inside of me.
do not feed this man he does not need the power
do not give this to him oh that's perfect that
is so perfect i had that is there are two wolves
inside of me okay thank you all for joining us
i hope you enjoyed this table talk and this session
please remember to comment and leave a rating
it really helps new podcasts um i promise you
it's probably not going unless you want it to
be this much cringe all the time oh well i'm
hoping okay well unless you want it to be then
maybe maybe it will be um help help me We need
a new DM. No, I'm kidding. I fucking can't. He's
literally the worst. He's the absolute worst.
But the only thing that I loved out of him is
everyone's reaction. That's it. That was well
worth it. All right. Goodbye, everybody. Everybody
say bye. Good night, Mrs. Akhmanik.