Hey guys, it's Jen. Welcome back to Student Stories.
Hope that you're doing well. Finals are next
week, so hope that your studies and your projects
are all going well. Today I am joined in the
studio by a new friend, Nick Fisher. Nick, please
introduce yourself to our listeners. Hi, never
done this before. My name is Nick Fisher. Grew
up in Overland Park, been at JCCC for about,
this will be my second semester, so almost through
my first year of schooling here. Grew up in Overland
Park, went to a late East high school, graduated
there in 2024. And yeah, just got here, was invited
on this podcast since I had a showcase, did pretty
well in it. And I'm here to try and share my
story. pretty much all you need to know about
me for now. Yeah. So that's actually a perfect
lead in to my next question. When we met and
we were talking offline, you shared your incredible
story with us. And I will have you share that
with our listeners in just a moment. But before
we do so, tell us a little bit about what you're
studying here at JCCC, when you think you might
be graduating, maybe if you've had a favorite
class or two that you've taken here. Yeah. Yeah.
So I got here around or I started right after
graduating high school. So this last August of
2024, I started. I originally I wasn't supposed
to be here. I was training to be a pilot pilot
and I had been working towards what's called
the private pilot license, which is basically
the driver's license for flying an airplane.
And I was right there. I was about to take my
test. the first the test just didn't go so well
and it was at that end it was about like that
due date of when i needed to have it done to
where i could go into i was going to end up going
to k -state salina uh their aerospace program
great program by the way um i was originally
going to go there but i was going to be a year
ahead since i had already completed my private
pilot and i didn't feel like going there and
redoing everything that i had already done for
the past about, I would say about a year going
into that. And so I would, my plan was to be
here, get a couple of classes out of the way.
All I took was macroeconomics and I was, I had
to take algebra, college algebra, which I had
already done pre -calc in high school, but didn't
have the college credit for. So that was fun.
Yeah. I took that class way too lightly and it
didn't reflect well on my grade because I didn't
think it was going to move so fast, but it did.
A good first semester, but it wasn't really meant
to be a forever thing here. And I was meant to
just kind of finish my private pilot. Then I
was going to be in KZ Salon this year or this
semester and ended up really liking it here.
And I've always been a huge mental health advocate,
which we'll get to with my story and everything
like that. But really found a liking for it here
and decided I was going to start going into the
psychology area of things and social sciences.
And my goal right now is to get some prerequisites
done. and um go into nursing and then take that
nursing step a step further and become a psychiatric
nurse that works in mental health that practices
mental health so mental health hospitals mental
health floors and regular hospitals anything
like that I love working with people that – I
love mental health. I'm a huge advocate for it.
But that's pretty much my thing, yeah. That's
perfect. And that's, again, another lead -in
to my next question. So I came to know you because
of a recent on -campus competition. And your
story is pretty incredible. You had a pretty
incredible journey that led you to that moment.
Will you share that story with our listeners?
Yeah. I'll just start from the beginning. I'll
just lead right into it. I was 16 years old.
When I was 16 on October 23rd of 2022, so almost
pretty much about two and a half years ago now,
my dad took his life and caught me and my family
by surprise. I'll head back even a little bit
further. My dad struggled with alcoholism throughout
my life. He never took it out on anyone. He was
never like an angry drunk parent or anything
like that. He just. He could never release his
emotions. So he kept them all very hidden. And
for a year and a half, he went to rehab and he
actually got very he was very good for a year
and a half after his four month retreat. I mean,
I had some very great memories with my dad. I
could share a few, but we'll we'll keep going
here. And he had a lot of medications in about
the beginning of October. Without telling anyone,
he went cold turkey off of every medication he
had, which is very, very detrimental to mental
health. It puts you into a very manic, maybe
not so much manic. Manic is usually euphoria,
but very depressed state. Very, very heavily
depressed state. Yeah. And it got to him. And
I was coming home from a friend's house one morning.
I actually saw him that morning that he ended
up taking his life. And I went upstairs, went
back to bed because I'd been out with my friends
late and I'd woke up early. So I was just asleep.
My brother woke me up, asked me why cop cars
were outside. I walked downstairs. My mom's outside
the front door. Police are surrounding her. I
thought I did something. I mean, I've had dumb
teenager moments like every teenager does. So
I thought maybe the police were there for me.
And my mom comes in and gave me a hug. I still
remember. The moment she said it and how my brother
reacted, my brother was the most painful part
of that experience. He, you know, crying. He's
like, my dad's dead and all that stuff. And very,
very, very hard moment. And for the past two
years, I have been doing therapy. I was doing
therapy before that, but even more extensive
therapy with the grieving process. I'm now at
the point where I really want to use my story
to help other people, especially from a youth
perspective, because I feel like youth isn't
something that's shown a lot in today's age.
I think you can always look at doctors and you
can look at, you know, you can use whatever you
want to use to research mental health. But you
hardly ever get that personal experience, especially
from somebody from a kid who's been through something
like that. It's very hard for an adult to tell
you that they know what you're feeling when you're
so young and you're not ready for that. No, no
kid is ready for something like I went through.
And I sympathize with everyone who has been through
something similar to that. And my speech, like
you said, like you mentioned, I gave a speech
pretty much on a quote that my dad said to me
a week before he died. It's learn to love the
sunshine and the clouds equally. I have it tattooed
on my arm for about a year now. And that quote
pretty much symbolizes the fact that you need
to love the clouds of your life because if you
don't love them, you can't just throw them away.
So they're always going to be there if you don't
nurture them and help them move on. And that
was one of the big points of my speech was you
got to nurture the clouds. The second one is
you got to let the emotions that you don't like
out. And the third one, and I think one of the
biggest ones, is that love and grief are the
exact same thing. They're the two sides of the
same coin. Absolutely. To grieve something, you
got to lose something. And to grieve something,
you must have loved something. And to love something,
you must know that you will grieve it eventually.
Absolutely. Because nothing in this life lasts
forever. So that's, yeah. I'm sorry. When I lost
my father a few years ago, that's what I said
as well. You know that grief is a gift because
you wouldn't feel the grief but for the love
that you had. Thank you for sharing that story
with us. I know that that was very painful, but
I'm very, very grateful that you shared that
with us. When we were off the air, you and I
talked a lot about the importance of connection
and the importance of helping others and the
importance of not feeling alone. And I think
you spoke to that beautifully when you said a
lot of people will say, oh, I know how you feel.
No, you don't. You're not a young person going
through this. You might have a perspective, but
you don't have my perspective. So I think that
what you said is very, very powerful. There is
a lot of power in community. Can you talk a little
bit more about that, about the power of community
and the power of connection? It's one of the
biggest things I harp on anytime. And I told
you this on the call, and I want to make sure
that anyone who does listen to this knows I'm
not a licensed therapist. I have only taken one
psychology class. I love it. But I have been
doing therapy for— about five years now, about
maybe even six now that I'm thinking about it.
But I've been doing therapy for quite a long
time and I have learned coping mechanisms. So
I do understand things that work for me. But
the thing is, is that my story and my process
of grieving is different from every single other
person out there. When people would always tell
me, I know how you feel or I know what you're
going through. It almost felt like pettiness.
at times. Not that I ever held it against them.
I knew that they didn't mean it in a bad way,
but when that comes across to somebody who's
in such a bad place, you get very defensive because
the truth is no one knows how you feel. And I
have plenty of friends who I talk to and I've
had friends come to me with bad times and stuff
like that. And I'll always say, I don't know
how you're feeling, but I can sympathize with
it because while not every feeling is the same,
there is some things that are very similar. Like
with grieving, I think everyone can sympathize
with that grieving sucks and that you can feel
it's that whole of somebody that you loved is
no longer there or something that you loved is
no longer there. And I think everyone can sympathize
with that feeling. It's different for everyone,
but it is something that can be a connection
between two people. And it's, I guess just going
back to it, you got to treat everyone differently.
Everyone goes through everything differently.
Somebody's worst day, never. I'll go back. Never
compare emotions. They're different for everyone
because my worst day could be when my dad died.
Another person's worst day, a five -year -old's
worst day is when they lost their toy. Sure.
Those emotions can be felt at the same level.
They may not be the same circumstance. And one,
yes, on a scale, however you want to put it,
is maybe higher in how bad it is. But the emotions
are the same. Right. And they're equally as important.
You know, I've heard people say that, you know,
well, gosh, my life isn't as bad as so and so.
So maybe I shouldn't complain. No, what you're
going through is valid. The pain that you feel
is valid. And I love what you said about don't
compare pain. Pain is pain. Hurt is hurt. If
any of our listeners should need help, what are
some resources that they can check out? Have
you utilized any of the resources here on campus,
any of the mental health counseling resources?
Well, I. Had my own therapy process. Luckily,
I do come from a place where my family was able
to afford paying for personal therapy, which
my first step, anytime you're going through something,
I always recommend therapy. The hardest part
about therapy is learning to talk because it's
really hard to share your worst thoughts. And
it's really hard to share what you don't want
to share with anyone else. But I promise you
when I say I used to be a person who would. never
open up about anything. I buried everything deep
inside. Everyone says you just bottle it, shove
it, shove it down as hard as, just as much as
you can. You just shove it down into your gut
and it'll never bother you. That isn't true.
It will come to bite you at some point. And if
it doesn't come to bite you, you're not realizing
that it is. Or you'll get sick. Like it'll manifest
itself in some other way. So my first thing I
always want to say is therapy. Schools, especially
if you are going to JCCC or if you go to school,
they usually have free programs and they have
free counselors. I do think those are great.
My step, I think that a step further is personal
therapy, somebody who's trained. Because while
school therapists, I believe, are great people
and I do truly respect them, I think that it
is sometimes great to have one person who is
trained in a specific area, especially if it's
something like grieving. If it's something like
grieving, there are therapists who specialize
in that. If it is something like addiction, there's
therapists who specialize in that and they can
talk to you in ways that a school therapist might
not be able to. So I would always say, if it's
something that you can't afford, 100%, just talk
to somebody. And I will throw myself into this.
Anyone is welcome to message me. My goal through
this whole process of talking about this on the
podcast and just talking about it through my
speech, I'm never in it for... the money. I'm
never in it for the stature of somebody that
does this. I really, truly think that everyone
deserves to be heard. And I believe that in a
world that is so filtered with technology and
how everyone sees something through a specific
lens of this perfectness, this everything around
you, everyone else around you is doing so great
because everything on their Instagram, everything
on their Facebook, whatever you use, TikTok,
whatever. It's all filtered to look great. Right.
Shiny and perfect. And it's not. The world isn't
that way. Right. Exactly. And it makes you feel
alone because you're looking at all that stuff.
It makes you feel like you're the only one going
through that. Right. So I would love to just
say, please reach out to me. We can plug Instagram
and everything in that later. But I truly, I
would love to meet anyone and talk to anyone.
I can be a friend. I would love to hear anyone's
story. Thank you for that. And that's a perfect
lead in. When we were offline, Nick gave me permission
to say this to you. So I'm going to share this
with our listening public. If you would like
to get in touch with him, please reach out to
me. I am on Instagram at... uncovering Jennifer.
You are welcome to DM me, message me anytime.
And I'm happy to get your information along to
Nick. Also, selfishly, I love to get to know
people here on campus. So I would love to meet
some new friends here on campus as well. But
I will absolutely pass your information along
to Nick. I do want to speak just slightly for
a moment to some of the mental health resources
here on campus. Again, I am not an expert, but
I will say that there is a counseling center
here on campus and you get, I think, think six,
I think, free sessions with counselors through
Johnson County Mental Health. There are some
counselors here on campus, some social work,
I'm not social workers, forgive me, psychologists
here through Johnson County Mental Health. So
go to jccc .edu and hit that search bar and take
a look at it. Or of course, you can just message
me on Instagram and I will happily send you a
link. If you could leave our listeners with any
one thing from your experience. And that's probably
going to be hard to say since there's such a
wealth of journey and a wealth of learning and
knowledge and feeling in your journey. What would
it be that you would leave our friends with?
Yeah. So real quick, I'll plug my Instagram as
well since you had yours. I'm just going to say
mine. If you want to message me specifically
and you want to get in touch with me, mine is
at NickFisher2005, N -I -C -K, no space, F -I
-S -H -E -R. 2005. So Fisher is like the animal
fish, not the F -I -C -H. Not Jenna Fisher, right?
Go ahead and message me. My goal, something that
I would love to do is I would love to speak to
students. I would love to speak at schools. So
I will just say that if you know anyone that
works in the school districts or anyone that
works with a public speaking area of things,
reach out to me. I would truly love the experience
to talk to the youth. from the youth perspective.
Like I said, that's something that I think is
very big in today's age is that there's not a
lot of young people advocating for it. And if
they are, it's not very seen. Have you reached
out to maybe the student government here on campus
or the honors office or any other potential pipelines
for student connections? I haven't yet. Like
I said, it's my second semester. I'm not super
familiar with everything here. And I think it's
great that JCCC offers six free sessions. That's
something I actually didn't know. I think it's
six. Don't quote me on it, but close to -ish,
six -ish. Either way, free sessions is great.
Sure, absolutely. And so your question was if
there's one big thing? Yes, that you could leave
our listeners with. Yeah. Well, it depends on
the subject. I think if we're going, I can give
like one thing per thing about my life. I would
say that if you're dealing with grieving, I think
the biggest thing is to truly, I'm going to figure
out how I want to say this, let everything out.
Don't hold anything in. My biggest thing was
anger, and I actually talked about it in my speech.
I held my anger in for eight months. I never
once got mad at my dad, even though people would
be like, you know, but he chose to leave you.
Like, it was his choice, and it was. But it was
also something that I could sympathize with because
when you're in a suicidal mindset, which I have
been in my past, when I was 16, actually before
my dad passed away, and after my dad got much
worse, I had suicidal thoughts, and it was very
hard. There was nights where I would sit outside
on a swing set in this park that's by my house,
and I would look out at the road, and I would
just wonder what it would be like just to walk
out there. And it was very hard. And I know that's
– and to anyone who's listening, that's very
hard to hear for. I'm very sorry. I'm just trying
to give a very – I'm just trying to make sure
this sits in. When you're in that thought process,
you're not really yourself. It's almost like
how that consciousness that's in the back of
your head that everyone always feels, it's almost
like you're that consciousness. And the bad thoughts
– are now in control. And you don't really feel
like you can control them because you're that
voice in the back and it feels like you're just
watching yourself consistently feel sad and you
don't know what to do. In those moments, that's
the biggest moment to get help. And I mean that
by whatever you can do. And talk to somebody.
If your parents aren't somebody you want to talk
to, talk to a friend. My biggest point, find
a therapist. Like JCCC has the free counseling
sessions. Just find somebody to tell that to.
And know that if you tell it to a therapist,
they are legally obligated not to tell anyone.
So you have that confidentiality. No one will
ever know. But that is the biggest point to get
help. I will also say that from a perspective
of grieving, let everything out. Don't bottle
it all in. Like I said with the anger, I held
it in for eight months. There was this one day
where I was in my mom's room alone. I've talked
about it in my speech, but I was in my mom's
room alone. And I looked behind me at a picture
of my dad that she had on his old nightstand.
And then in that moment, I felt this rage, like
this just bottled up, just like I knew it. I
couldn't hold it any longer. And I mean, for
45 minutes straight, just words like, I mean,
like it was all one picture of him. It was just
this little, it was like this cardboard cutout
of his face, almost like the basketball games
where they have like the posters and they're
holding up like a player's face, like something
like that. It was this little cutout of him that
my mom had. It was really big. And I was just
like. you know, I was saying stuff that I'm not
going to repeat on the words. Like I was saying,
you know, F you, how could you do this? You know,
like, why, why would you leave us? Why would,
why did you, why'd you do this to us? What made
you like, was I not good enough? Like all these
anger things just piled into one just spur for
45 minutes. I mean, 45 minutes to an hour. I
was tears, shambles, everything that you can
mention about that moment. But after it, that
moment after it, I realized how good it felt
and how. in how impactful that moment was. I
mean, I remember that moment so clearly. I remember
every vivid detail from it. I just, I just let
it all out. And, you know, you said you held
that for eight months. Let's say you held it
for 16. Let's say you held it for five years.
You know what I mean? Think about the magnitude
of the release that would be in that moment.
And unfortunately, that's something that a lot
of people. Of course, my experience is different,
but there's a lot of people who have that. They
can never be mad at somebody. And there's also
people who are too mad and they don't let the
other emotions out. Their sadness manifests itself
into anger or they don't ever take the time to
cry because men shouldn't cry or you shouldn't
cry. People are doing worse things. Crying is
the best thing. You feel so good after crying.
Same thing with the anger. It's like that feeling
when you just cry everything out. After the fact,
that release that you just let all those emotions
out very much helps your brain and it's scientific
as well that crying and letting all those emotions
out, it helps the brain have a reset moment.
It helps the brain feel like it's pushed, pushed,
pushed to where it's just tired and it wants
to just go to sleep and you can take a nice nap
afterwards and it's all good. I think a lot of
people, and I'm one of those people, tend to
hide things. They're not perfect. I want everybody
to think I'm together. I'm the with it girl.
You know, like, look at my Instagram. Everything
is great. You know, that's the world that we
live in. I think a lot of people are like that.
And so we tend to shove those things down because
we don't want to be a burden to anyone. Right.
You're not a burden. You are loved. Yeah. You
are loved. And the world is a better place for
you in it. It's for you. It's a better place
for you. And it's a better place because. And
it's really hard to hear that. I will say that
it is. It's so hard to hear that because you
almost feel, I guess another thing, I didn't
mention this in my speech, but something that
has come to my attention is that the world doesn't
stop. And that's something that I think a lot
of people use as an excuse not to let their emotions
out because the world doesn't stop for anyone.
Can you elaborate on that? When you're feeling
it, I'll go to my experience, but I think other
people can feel this in their own sort of way.
When you're feeling sad and you really want a
day off. It almost feels like you can't because
you either have a deadline due or you have work.
You have stuff that you need to do for other
people. Trust me. It is okay to take a day off.
Mental health days are not a day to be. You're
not being lazy. You're not failing a day. You
have plenty of time on this earth. Take a day.
Do what you need to do to feel okay. Now, obviously,
if you need a week. There are some people who
need a week. That needs to be something that's
communicated. But I think it's great if on a
Saturday or a Sunday, you cancel all plans, you
take the day and you do nothing. Or you do a
puzzle or you just whatever you need to do. I
mean, truly, it's up to you. But whatever makes
you feel happy. I talk about it. Nurturing those
clouds, loving those clouds, loving the bad parts
of your life doesn't mean you have to sit with
them and be sad about them. You can do things
that make you feel a purpose or make you feel
helpful or happy. Whatever that is, that helps
those dark clouds because it gives you that sense
of self again, and it gives you that sense of
control, which is something I think a lot of
people... who are having a hard time don't feel.
They don't feel like they're out of control of
their life. Like I said, with the whole being
in the back of the head when you're having suicidal
thoughts or whatever thoughts you're having,
you don't feel like you're in control of yourself.
So you need something to feel control. And for
some people, they do that in very detrimental
ways, self -harm, all that stuff. It can be very,
that's a very, very hurtful, but very strong
reach for that sense of connection to yourself
and worth. and just control. But yeah, I... Go
ahead. Honestly, I don't know where I'm going
to go from that. No, you're fine. When my daughter's
23, when she was growing up and then in our family,
we have this phrase and we use it for everything.
It's take your power where you have it. You know,
you may feel like, you know, this is awful and
this is terrible. This is happening to me. Well,
yes, maybe something outside your control is
happening. You have cancer. I had cancer last
year. You know, that was not a great moment.
But I took my power where I had it, you know,
in education, in loving my family, in my attitude.
You know, that sort of thing. You took your power
where you had it multiple times throughout your
journey. And I think what you said is genius
and it's spot on. People think that when bad
things happen to them, they have no power. Oh,
yes, you do. It might not be as easy to find.
You might have to think about it. It's a challenge.
It is a challenge. Yes, but you are worth it.
I saw this great interview with Anderson Cooper
and Stephen Colbert, who I love both of them
dearly. And Anderson has some pretty sad tragedy
in his life. Suicide has affected his family
as well. And he actually broke down during this
interview, which, of course, made me cry because
nobody cries alone in my presence. I'm that kind
of girl. And Stephen said something to the effect
of it. And shame on me for not remembering. Learn
to love the things that hurt you the most. And
it's so similar to what your dad said. Because
those things that hurt you the most are going
to have some of the greatest impacts on your
life. Learn to love them, like your dad said,
because that's going to help you to grow from
those experiences. And I guess I will go off
that. I mean, let's just stay on this topic.
I like where we're at here. So my final day with
my dad was... Honestly, one of the best days
I've had, one of the best days I've actually
had with my dad was that final day before he
passed away. And I don't think it was a plan
in his mind to take his life the next day. I
don't. I think that it was, he was not a good
sleeper. He had very hard time sleeping. I would
hear him up at 4 a .m. in the morning. And I
think that it was a combination of one medication,
all that stuff that took his life. But that's,
we're past that point. That final day with my
dad, we went, we got food. We went and got, we
went and. Watched a movie. It was Smile, that
one horror movie where all the characters smile.
I don't know if you've seen it. It's a good movie.
I can't go see the second one because I want
to. It looks good. I didn't go see the second
one just because I don't. It's a little too close
to home for me. But I remember I could see the
whole day that he was not fully there. He was
trying so hard to be. To be what he wanted to
be for me, but I could see it wasn't fully there.
And I remember he goes. He told me that actually
the day before he didn't say his exact quote,
but he was like, you got to learn to love the
sunshine. And I was like, what? And he's like,
find a job that makes you feel like you're in
the sunshine. He's like, he's like, find a job.
And I think and I was like, OK, I was I fully
didn't didn't fully understand what he meant
by that yet. And he's like. And I was like, are
you okay? And he's like, I just got some clouds
hanging over me. He's like, but I'll be okay.
And that night, went to a friend's house. Like
I said, he texted me that he loved me. Good night.
Next morning, I woke up. I believe I saw him.
That could be a thing in my imagination. That
morning is very fuzzy sometimes. So maybe I did
see him. Maybe I didn't. But I believe I did.
And yeah, I think that. the idea where he would
just, just where he was, it was a point where
he just couldn't go get help. And like, it was
just, he wasn't there. Like he just wasn't all
the way there. Like you could tell, I could see
how hard he was trying to. And that's a, I want
to go off the whole medication thing. If you're
ever prescribed an anti psychotic, anti depressant,
whatever, anti blah, blah, blah, anything that's
supposed to help you feel better. It does change
your brain. Don't take it sporadically. And if
you take it consistently. Talk to your doctor
before going off of it because it is true that
antidepressants can make you feel worse than
you did before. But it's even worse if you go
off of it. So, yeah, I will just say that I guess
the question that we started this all off with
was what's my biggest point? And it truly is
to learn to love the sunshine and the clouds
equally, just like you said with the Anderson
Cooper quote. It's the hardest thing to do. But
you really got to take care of yourself in those
moments. And especially when you're dealing with
medication, don't go off it or don't go off it
quickly. If it throws your brain into a spiral,
every doctor will tell you that. Go to your doctor.
Ask to help them tip you off. And then if you
don't like medication, don't do medication. Medication
doesn't work for everyone. Therapy is the one
thing that I will say I think is a universal
thing. Talking to somebody truly helps. And there's
a lot of study to back that up. But teach their
own. handle it the way that you feel healthy
about it. Lucky I still live in this day and
age with access to science and technology. You
know what I mean? And workplaces that support
employee assistance programs and mental health.
If you are working, I encourage you to speak
with your human resources office, look on your
company's webpage to see what kind of mental
health services are available to you. I work
for an agency where they are also available to
my family that live with me. So again, every
company is different. Of course, every school.
School is different. We hope that this podcast
is reaching a really large audience. Hopefully
not too large. Hopefully not too large of an
audience. I don't think like Albuquerque or anything
like that. Well, I mean, I hope it's not hitting
everyone's heart. I hope for the most part everyone
goes through a life where they don't have to
suffer such things. Right. We live in an unfortunate
world. Right. No, what I meant was like space
-wise. But so I just encourage you to avail yourself
of any services that are available to you, either
through your job, through your church, through
your community, through your friends. And then,
of course, here at JCCC or wherever you may be
a student. Is there a place that our listeners
can go to listen to your speech if they weren't
able to hear it the first time? So my Instagram
will be a place where my speech is. The YouTube
link, I believe, is a protected link by JCCC
because it's a school thing. I don't think they're
allowed to do it fully public. I haven't been
able to find any other speeches from the signed
showcase. Like I looked it up on YouTube beforehand.
I'm pretty sure they're all on GCC specific,
like hidden private page. Right. So my Instagram,
like I said, at Nick Fisher, no space in between
those two, at Nick Fisher, N -I -C -K -F -I -S
-H -E -R -2 -0 -0 -5. That's my Instagram. It's
a public Instagram. You're welcome to look at
it. I'm thinking about if I do get the opportunity,
I will most likely make a speaking. Instagram
page. And then at that moment, I'll link it on
my actual, on my main page, because I would love
to truly, I truly would love to grow this. I,
if I could pick a job, I told you this yesterday
on the phone, if I could pick a job in the world,
it would be to just talk. It would be to talk
and it would be to, and I actually second talk
first would be to listen. I want to hear people's
stories. I am so interested in. everyone's story.
I'm interested in how everybody's brain works.
That's why I'm going into this whole nursing
with psychiatric stuff. I just love the way,
I think the brain is so diverse. And I think
that we know maybe 10 % or 20 % of what the brain
truly works like. It is a complicated matter
and it is something that I truly just want to
meet everyone. And I think that, well, again,
I'm not a licensed psychiatrist. eventually I
hope to be a nurse practitioner in that type
of area. So I will have that studies done. But
if I didn't, if I had a choice, I would just
go around, speak at schools, talk to students,
you know, have like an open, like just be a person
to where I can go to different schools. And if
there's a student that's having those problems,
they can talk to me because like I said, I went
through my own suicidal process and. One thing
that helped me was exercise. I found a love for
the sport of swimming. And if there's any swimmers
out there, I can connect with that. Swimming
is a hard sport. Swimming actually teaches you
a lot about, I think, is a very hidden sport
for the mental health community. It's a sport
where you have to tell yourself to push. You
got to tell yourself that you can do something
because there's moments in races and it's just
like track where if you're running 200 or anyone
that runs like the 200 or 400 in track knows
this as well. on that last 100, on that last
100, or if you're in the 100 or 200 and swimming
on that last, like 25 % of it, you are gassed.
It is an all out sprint. You are gassed. And
you have to tell yourself. For swimming, you
have to tell yourself, don't breathe. You have
to tell yourself not to breathe. You got to push
as hard as you can because when you breathe,
you lose speed. So you got to keep going faster.
And in practices, it's the same thing. You got
to push, push, push because you want to consist.
You're racing against yourself. You're racing
your time. So you have to drop that time. And
it's one of those sports where I truly love it
for that. And it was great for me. And it really
helped me. I think that swimming is a sport where
anyone can get into it. And I guess I'm just
kind of going off tangent here. No, you're fine.
I love... if there's a sport and you don't know
what you want to do, but you want to get into
really good shape and you also want something
that really releases those endorphins and you
feel really good afterwards, swim is a sport.
Trust me, it's going to suck. And I'm not going
to hide that. It's going to hurt. But my process
of grieving with my dad, I was 220 pounds when
my dad passed away. I was very overweight for
my age. I was 16, like I said, so junior in high
school. And that was... That was not good. And
I lost 60 pounds and I was, that year of swimming,
I was, for junior year of swimming, I was about
five seconds. I was like, five seconds is a lot
in swimming. I was like five seconds off of making,
even close to making state. I lost 60 pounds
and I dropped a lot of time in swim. And after
eight months, I made state in swimming. That
was my accomplishment. That was my goal. I also
think that's something important to set. Set
a goal. Set something that you really want and
really just focus on it. Because when you focus
on something that makes you happy and makes you
something you really want, that purpose and that
control starts to come back in a very healthy
way. And I will also say that I'm just going
to keep going here. In that process of grieving,
there will be people who won't understand it.
You will have to face that fact. There is, and
I think everyone can sympathize with that, is
that sometimes you're going through a hard time.
But you're going to meet somebody who does not
care. I had teachers. I had teachers who, I mean,
I had a math teacher. And again, nothing against
her. She's a nice person. But she wasn't super
into the whole mental health thing. And so she
kind of had, she piled me up with schoolwork
that I wasn't, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't,
she didn't handle it well. And you're going to
have those people in life. But you also have
to understand that they're not doing it really
against you. They might act like it, but they
also just don't fully understand. And that's
something that. just kind of is going to happen
in life so it's one of those things where just
everybody's process is different everybody around
you is going to be different but there is always
and i mean always somebody who will be there
to talk to and if you have no one like i said
truly truly please reach out to me i i want to
hear stories and i want to talk to you and i
will be your friend and if we're and if we're
close you know if you need if you need to go
I play basketball. I play sports. I play basketball.
I throw football. I played football. I swam.
If you need somebody to do something, I will
throw my, I will put myself out there. I understand
that I might be talking to a lot of people and
that I might get too many of those messages.
Your box is going to blow up. I might have too
many people asking for that, but I will say it
would be my goal when I can and when I'm able
to, to truly talk to everyone. And like I said,
just don't be afraid to reach out. Yeah. I want
to circle back to something that you said. And
it's something that, I mean, I'm a non -traditional
student. I'm an older student. And I'm still
learning this at my age. You said something that
was so perfect. We have to meet people where
they are. You know, when we're going through
something and we're hurting and we're feeling
this and someone does not respond in the way
that we think they should, right? Like your math
teacher. You said it beautifully. It's no slight
against her. It doesn't mean she's a terrible
person. It just means that maybe there's other
stuff going on in her life that's preventing
it. her maybe. Or maybe she just lost someone
to suicide as well. Or maybe she has cancer.
Maybe she didn't get any sleep last night. We
don't know. So there is a lot of power in grace
and showing grace to other people and also to
yourself. And that's difficult for me. I don't
know about you guys in the room here with us
or our listeners, but it's very easy to be kind
to and supportive of other people. But then when
it's me, it's not so easy. So it's a learned
behavior. It's a hard thing to say, but it's
also a good thing. It's okay to be selfish sometimes.
You have to be. Selfishness is not inherently
bad. You got to be selfish sometimes when you
need a day. If you need a day, take it. Just
take it. It might hurt somebody else's work life
or whatever. It's one day. It'll be okay. Especially
if you communicate it. If you just say, hey,
there is no way I'm okay to make it into work
today. Or, hey, I don't think I can do my schoolwork.
I won't have this done by the test or I won't
be ready for the test by this day. They might
say they might be okay with it. They might not.
But if you truly know that in your heart and
you truly have your own plan to make sure that
you get it done eventually and in a healthy way
where you're prepared for something, be selfish.
Take a day. Take your power where you have it.
It's okay. Take your power where you have it.
Absolutely. Um, you have shared a lot of really
intimate, really personal details with us today.
And you've also opened your heart to our listeners.
That was huge. And we thank you for that very,
very much. I'm going to just pivot for just two
quick seconds. The competition that you entered,
can you tell us a little bit about it? And is
this something that is a recurring competition
here at JCCC? OK, yeah, share that with us, please.
So I had no idea about it. I was. When I talk
to my academic person for the credits that I
need, I need to do a public speaking class. So
I did public speaking. My professor here at JCCC
is Justin Stanley. And one thing real quick I
will say on him is he's what a teacher should
be. He is exactly what a teacher should be. You
can tell how passionate he is about it. You can
tell how much he cares for the subject. truly
understands you. He tries to understand every
student in their individual way. And that's something
that I just truly am so grateful for. That's
awesome. That's awesome. But our first assignment
was an informative speech. And I gave the speech
about my dad and about loving this. And but it
was more I was trying to inform about what suicide
is in that speech. And it was almost a tribute
speech. It did well in my class. It had that
impact. And I actually got nominated through
my class to go to the science speaking showcase,
which is something I believe. I don't want to
mess this up, but I believe something Stein.
Is it S -T -I -N -E? S -T -E -I -N, I believe.
S -T -E -I -N, okay. And then it might be an
E at the end. I'm not 100 % sure on it. We'll
clarify that. Can we clarify that in the write
-up for the show, Zach? Awesome. We'll make sure
that that's correct. I got nominated for that
showcase. And I believe there's a lot of public
speaking classes and there's a ton of public
speaking teachers. And so they get together and
each class nominates one student. There's 15
students. So there's 15 classes. I believe it's
around 150 to 170 kids. I was a top 15 prospect.
I got nominated for my class. And we went through
two rounds of semifinals. So that's where I went
to one room, did my speech in front of judges.
Before that, I tweaked my speech to be what it
is now, which is an informative speech about
loving the sunshine and the clouds equally. Wow.
Worked with my professor a ton. Like I said,
Professor Stanley, just great. He was so excited
about the speech. And he's over here like, I
think you could win. And he's like, I don't want
you to get your hopes up too high, but my hopes
are high. And I was like, you'll be my emotion.
I'll go into this series. You can be the one
hoping. You'll be my behind -the -scenes wingman.
Selected into the top five. And that's the final
round. That's where I gave it in the auditorium,
Hudson Auditorium, I believe it's called. Gave
my final speech there. And I don't know what
it was about it. I think that that nervousness
that I had about speaking in front of more people
than I ever have, I gave the clearest, best speech
that I've ever given on that topic. And I ended
up winning first. And I didn't even know that.
there was a prize involved until I got to the
final round. I don't, and I will just say, I
don't, I don't care about, I didn't care about
the prize. I was really, really, I only wanted
to make finals strictly due to the fact that
I knew I could at least share this story with
the few people who were in that room. And I,
like I said, again, I keep harping on it. I want
to keep doing this. I really, really do. I'm
really happy to be here on this podcast and I
really hope it reaches somebody else that wants.
that knows somebody or is in the school district
that can just say, let's get you here or let's
have you come talk to some kids. Thank you for
sharing your story with us. Any parting words
for our friends before we bid them farewell?
Oh, we're heading out? Yeah. Oh, okay. All right.
I guess I'll just leave you with the quote, learn
to love the sunshine and the clouds equally.
And by that, like I've said before. Nurture the
clouds. Take a mental health day. Exercise. Sleep.
Sleep can be hard sometimes, but try and get
it in when you can. Let the emotions out that
you don't like and know that grieving and loving
are two very strong emotions and you got to treat
them both with a ton of respect because they
can make you feel a very certain way in different
circumstances. Love them. Love every part of
it. Life can't be lived if you don't love both
parts of it. So that's my final words. Yeah,
learn to love the sunshine and the clouds equally.
Learn to love the sunshine and the clouds equally.
At Nick Fisher, F -I -S -H -E -R 2005, is our
guest, Nick Fisher. Thank you again for being
here with us today. Thank you so much for having
me. For opening your heart to our students. Friends,
I am also at Uncovering Jennifer, J -E -N -N
-I -F -E -R. I am also happy to talk to you as
well and to connect you to Nick. We are with
you. We are thinking about all of you as you're
putting the final touches on your finishing projects
and your finals next week. We are hoping that
whenever you're listening to this, the day is
sunny as it is today. We are thinking of you
and sending you good juju and good, good luck
for your finals. With that, we will say goodbye.
Jen, Nick and Zach, our podcast editors, signing
out. Bye.