Welcome back to Real Talk with Rayne and Gabe.
So today, the topic that was voted on is protecting
your peace and energy, which is a good continuation
from our last episode. So I think to start off
the conversation, this is definitely a spiritual
take on how you're living your life. And protecting
your peace and energy is so incredibly important
because people don't actually realize that when
you're burnt out, it's because you're not protecting
your peace and energy. You're not protecting
your boundaries. You're not looking out for yourself.
And that's extremely important because if you
can't show up for yourself, you can't show up
for other people that you care about either.
So I would say, to start things off, my biggest
advice in my spiritual journey that I've recently
been endeavoring on is that... When it comes
to things that bring negative energy or negative
attention into your life, you really have to
sit back and have the emotional maturity to dissect
the situation and think about it in a way of,
is this really worth me putting energy into this
or is this silly? Am I over analyzing what my
boss said at work today about Like, I do this
all the time and I have to stop myself when my
boss says something like, oh yeah, there's definitely,
you're doing awesome, but I'd like to work on
this. And then it's hard to not internalize that
and then spin out and be like, oh my God, it
means I'm doing everything wrong. That's very
harmful to your psyche and very harmful to your
energy. Yeah. And it goes back to that let them
theory as well to help you protect your peace
and energy because You have to learn that you're
not in control at the end of the day. You are
not in control of anything other than yourself,
and even then, there's aspects about yourself
and your spirit that you can't control either.
The mystery of the universe. Like, we're walking
around in a flesh body, but our spirit's something
completely different. So, what can we do to continuously
protect our peace and our energy. It doesn't
need to be a toxic positivity kind of mindset,
but more practicing being mindful about what
we're spending our energy on, if that makes sense.
What do you think, Gabe? Definitely agree. Because
I have definitely experienced burnout many times
in my artist career as a college student, as
a freelancer, even just like casually in what
I want to draw for myself. And it's really easy
to have that burnout be inspired by your own
views about yourself as an artist. I will definitely
be the first to admit that I have very low self
-esteem when it comes to my art. But I feel like
that's with every artist, like every writer,
every sculptor, like. Everyone is either this
piece is like the fucking bomb diggity or it's
a piece of shit and it should never see the light
of day. But. Yeah, the way. I am still struggling
with protecting my piece from burnout for fairer,
because it's very easy, especially for me to
beat myself up for not doing work or for not
doing art. This is your job, motherfucker, you
got to do it, but. I think that's something that
a lot of people should keep in mind is that work
life balance to begin with, because sometimes
it's OK to just be like, I'm not going to do
art today. I'm going to do something else. I'm
going to do something that I never done before.
Like very recently, I've actually have been struggling
with not burnout, but I'm definitely like on
the cusp of it. And what actually gave me. this
sense of rejuvenation was my mom came to visit
this past weekend. And I was able to basically
show her the state parks near me in West Virginia,
because West Virginia is very known for its nature.
And I haven't been outside in months since it
was cold. So being able to actually go outside
and experience, like, the world with stuff. Oh,
my gosh. That's crazy. Wow. And it's not even
just like, I know touch grass is used as like
a joke, but it's not even just touching grass.
Like, obviously people go outside to go to work
or to go get groceries or to go run errands.
I'm talking outside of that. Just going outside
to exist. Yeah. Basically. And that was like
the first time I ever saw, like, my local national
park that is literally like 30 minutes up the
road. And it was great and it was beautiful.
And I'm like, oh, my God. I love being outside.
I always liked the mountains. I always liked
walking trails with my family. Why can't I do
that by myself? It's the fact that hadn't occurred
to me until literally I needed it. But it's going
outside, just changing it up. I feel is a great
way to protect your peace and to rejuvenate yourself
and to give yourself a fresh slate because it's
very easy to fall into the routine of okay every
weekend I gotta do chores or I gotta catch up
on stuff that I didn't do during the week and
I gotta go get groceries and I gotta go it's
very easy to fall into that routine and it's
very easy to get very depressed doing the same
thing every single week. every single month so
that would be my advice is to just change it
up go outside actually go outside and exist and
maybe you're like oh man i always wanted to go
to that coffee shop that i see every time i drive
past to go to the grocery store maybe just stop
in order something you've never heard of before
or something that you know and just sit and just
exist it doesn't have to be for long it doesn't
have to be like this huge, profound thing, because
I have social anxiety. I know what it's like
to just feel weird existing around other people
and interacting with them. But I promise you,
it's very nice to just take a step back and just
be like, wow, I'm not going to think about anything
and just exist. I think it's hard too, because
we, most people, not all people, but... A lot
of people, especially people I feel like us,
that have that social anxiety. I'm like an ambivert,
so I'm either like, oh my god, yay, or I'm like,
oh, I need to sit in my booth in an enclosed
space for five hours and no one talk to me and
I'm gonna be in the fetal position. Like, it's
one or the other and it's not like, I'm never
like in the middle. I'm either - Yeah. so ready
and my energy bar is full and I'm ready to hang
out but then once I crash and my social battery
is out I just need to be alone or just like with
my wife because it's the shared energy I feel
like as well something that kind of has been
interesting to me recently is that we find people
that we vibe with so well that match our energy
and a lot of times our energy can be replenished
when we're around those people and it's not necessarily
That you enjoy that person's company over anybody
else's it's more like the difference in energy
that you're feeling is With my wife. I'm very
comfortable. I'm very at home. Like she is my
person. She is my rock. She is everything to
me like I still sometimes get butterflies, but
it's not like that all the time because once
you're married and you've been together for half
a decade, you're just there and you're my best
friend and I just know I'm safe here. And that
energy almost becomes a core part of who you
are, which is why when people go through like
separations and stuff like that's really traumatic
because it's like... having that safety and that
normalcy and that feeling of home taken away
that you thought was never going to be broken.
But having that feeling of having somebody who
you feel like completes you as your other half,
or if you have multiple partners or other parts,
I'm just going to say partner in terms of monogamy
because that's what I'm doing with my life. So
not to be against anybody who's Collie, do you?
No judgment. Just for me, And for my wife, we're
monogamous. And so sometimes I feel like when
I'm with friends, my energy is higher than when
I'm with my wife, or I appear to be more excited
to hang out with friends or people that I haven't
talked to in a while or people that I haven't
seen or hung out with in a while. And I think
at the beginning of our relationship, it came
across as I didn't want to spend time with her.
That was not the case at all. It just... because
when you start getting so comfortable with the
person that you're with and people you're around,
it's almost like it becomes part of your energy.
And you're looking for a different stimulus,
if that makes sense. Something where it's not
as normal, it's not as routine. That kind of
interaction tends to get more of an excitement
from you. And that's a good thing a lot of times,
because if your energy is positively heightened,
by associating with somebody else, that's a good
sign that you're creating that bond with them
as well. Like having that sense of normalcy and
comfort with your partner, your friends, your
family, that's the ideal situation. You don't
always need to have that, oh, I'm so excited
feeling. Protecting your energy and your peace
is having more of those people around you that...
become your support system and become your family,
whether they're blood related or not. And that
excitement isn't really necessary once you feel
like you're at home and you have that core kind
of group of people that you can rely on. That
way your energy becomes more relaxed and it doesn't
mean you're bored with the people that you're
hanging out with or the people that you're with.
It just means that you're just comfortable and
you're safe. And that's a good feeling to have
that you can go home and be with somebody that
loves you for who you are, that's always going
to be in your corner and have your back. And
same thing with your friends. Like protecting
your peace and energy is knowing where to put
the energy. If you have a friend who, I'm trying
to think of a good example. I used to have a
friend who was extremely depressed all the time.
And for not any fault of theirs, just, they just
were going through it. And the thing is, you
can't help somebody that doesn't want to be helped,
and it's not your job to fix them. Even if you
feel like you're doing a good thing. A lot of
times it's gonna push people away if you try
to be overly nurturing, which is something that
I definitely have done in the past where I was
way too nurturing of people, way too protective
of people. I still am and it's still something
I need to work on because I put so much of my
energy onto protecting other people, like in
situations that either I've been through before
or that I've been similar because in my brain,
My toxic trait is literally like, I'm going to
protect them so they never feel hurt ever. And
then, but then my wife is, you're really overbearing.
And I'm like, oh, that's valid because I'm coming
from a good place and the intention is good.
My energy is in the right place. It's coming
from a place of care and love, but to somebody
else, that might come across as smothering. That
might come across as overbearing. It might come
across as, do you think I'm a child? Do you think
that I can't make my own decisions? That's not
the way I want to come across. It's just my natural
mode is like mother bear kind of energy. So it's
very difficult for me to not put all of my energy
towards that. And then almost in a way when I'm
not doing it and I'm holding myself back, It's
a constant feeling of anxiety of, well, what
if they get hurt? Well, what if something happens
and I could have stopped it, but I didn't. And
so that's where I have to learn for myself, protecting
my peace and energy that it is normal for people
to go through life, make mistakes and fuck shit
up on their own. And you need to let them. Yep.
You just need to let them make mistakes and do
stupid shit and learn their own life lessons.
Just be there when they need you. And that's
what you need to do. So for me, that's the hardest
thing because I've been through so much shit
in my life as well. And I always was like the
rock in my family for everybody. Sometimes even
including my parents. I didn't feel like I had
anybody like that for me. So I conditioned myself.
to be the rock for everybody else and the protector
for everybody else so that they never had to
feel alone. They never had to feel like what
I felt like growing up. And it's taken a lot
of time and it's still something I'm struggling
with for me to be able to step back and tell
myself this is not something that I'm responsible
for and I can't continue putting my energy towards
this because I'm gonna burn out. If things don't
work out the way that I want them to work out,
like that control aspect again of having the
let them theory sneak in. Like you just have
to let it happen. And it feels really shitty
because you don't want to just sit there and
want somebody you love or care about go through
something and feel like you have the power to
stop it, but you don't. Yeah. And just, but that's
the thing is you have to let people have their
own experiences. and acknowledge that at least
they have that support system, at least they
have you there to be a safe place to fall when
they mess up and when they go through these really
hard life lessons. Whereas, like me, I didn't
really have a lot of people like that when I
was growing up, except the people that were very
far away from me, unfortunately. I'm rambling,
but... My point in this section before I hand
it back over to Gabe is that you have to understand
Your energy is precious as well. And if you're
putting all of your energy onto other people,
you're not saving any for yourself So you're
not working on You know helping yourself grow
as a person you're not helping on looking at
your own faults or looking at your own needs
that are being skipped because You have this
mindset of I need to protect and be everything
for everybody else and my needs can wait. It's
not selfish to prioritize your needs and take
care of yourself. With that. I totally agree.
Yes. Gabe, take it away. I've been rambling.
Okay. I'm taking the baton from you. Right here.
I have it. I'm sorry. I'm covering it with my
body. Oh, I can't wait for this to be an animatic.
Oh, this will be great. Sorry. I just had to
stretch and break all my bones. But of a similar
vein, I feel like it's also important to surround
yourself in your environment by stuff that Is
not necessarily a hundred percent positive like
you shouldn't coddle yourself, but at the same
vein You should not go looking or allowing negative
Spaces or rage bait or any kind of defeatism
or triggers that you know you have to encroach
on your space especially on social media like
It's fine to be informed. You should be informed.
You should watch the news if if you can We should
definitely be important on stuff. I'm not saying
you shouldn't be but Sometimes you enter that
spiral that really dangerous spiral where you
feel like what's the point? Everyone's against
me because I'm we're a person of color XYZ woman
like literally anything or They specifically
create content trying to get a rise out of you
like rage bait. I've seen so many people fall
for rage bait. Drama channels. Like drama channels
or TikToks where they're like on the bigoted
side of views and they just use bigoted buzzwords
just to get engagement, just to get the comments
really heating up. I forget the name of this
content creator, which is... Unsurprising, because
she was very unimportant. But there was this
content creator on TikTok who basically was using
all of these bigoted buzzwords in order to get
Republican men to want to date her. She was basically
the picnic girl for Republicans. She was taking
applications? She just wanted to be seen by men
and the mana sphere is very toxic. So she just
fed into she was the woman who was like, yeah,
I believe you're toxic views. And obviously that
created rage bait and created content and just
continued to write rank up. or money but that's
what I mean by like rage bait is you do not have
to engage with these people you don't have to
comment you can literally just continue swiping
in the case of instagram reels or tiktoks or
shorts or whatever you can just keep going you're
allowed to have your own mind and your own brain
and use it it's fine you do not have to follow
the herd it's yeah you don't and not everyone
deserves a comment either like sometimes you
can just mind your own business or not even mind
your own business just like you know that what
they're saying is bigoted and hateful and wrong
you're not going to change them nor the hundreds
of thousands of comments calling them out is
going to change them because that's the content
they're making is for rage bait because they
want you to be angry they want you to engage
so i feel like i'm a strong believer in Blocking
people without a reason. Yeah, I say without
a reason but if I don't like your content or
if I'm like Hey, this content actually triggers
me I'm just gonna block you from this part of
the fandom that I'm in just so I don't have to
see it Yeah, I'm a huge advocate for that They
could be like the nicest person in the world,
but I just don't I don't vibe with that content
So I'm just gonna hit block and I'm not gonna
talk to them. I'm not gonna see it It's so much,
it feels like I have clear skin every time I
do that because it's just like I'm minding my
business. I'm protecting my energy. I'm protecting
my space. And it's not, I'm trying to like not
use the word safe space, but it's not like I'm
trying to force everyone else to have the same
space I'm in. It's catered to me. This is my
section of the internet. And I have decided that
I don't want to see any transphobes. I don't
want to see any turfs. I don't want to see any
weird, funky art styles I don't vibe with. It
can just be personal opinion. It doesn't have
to be the deepest cut in the world. It could
literally be like, you know what? I actually
find this person annoying. I'm just going to
block them. It's not that deep. No, I don't even
have to tell them that I'm blocking them because
it doesn't matter. Or just don't follow them
and be like, hide this content. Exactly. Hide
this content is also a great way to do it because
it's never as deep as everyone tries to make
it out to be. And you're not like this special
snowflake because you're catering your content
to what you want. That's literally the point
of an algorithm anyway. You're just helping it
along by being like, I definitely don't want
this. So don't show me that. I feel like it's
something that is so simple that a lot of people
treat as taboo or being a sissy or being like
a coward or something like that where it's just,
no, I'm just protecting my energy and I don't
want to see that shit. when all I want is to
see my two favorite gay boys kiss. That's it.
That's all I want to see when I scroll through
Tumblr is two gay boys kissing. I don't need
to see all this other shit that I don't want
to see. And I think, yeah, it goes back into
that inclusion of people want to be a part of
something bigger, and they don't want to be against
something that's bigger because then they're
outcasted. And then my piece is going to be disturbed
because... People are disagreeing with me instead
of agreeing with me. I'm not fitting in to this
narrative and I found that even though it feels
nice for a while to be involved in things where
like you're in a community or you're sharing
similar mindsets with people that maybe in the
back of your mind you're like And you're like
having second thoughts or maybe your own thoughts
that differ from your friend's thoughts or the
people that you follow, their thoughts. You're
like, those are my friends and those are people
I follow and these are the people that I want
to be around. Because if you're listening to
that little voice, in the back of your head that's
nagging you and giving you that anxiety of, I
don't fully support this or I don't fully agree
with this, but I'm scared of being alone. I can
tell you in my experience as a 33 year old woman
that I have been isolated before and I have been
parts of communities before and it does feel
very... lonely when you're not a part of something,
but it's also in a way, it's more peaceful when
you don't feel like you need to answer to somebody
or agree with them all the time. And you're able
to make your own judgment and your own decision.
And that gives you the power and gives you your
own energy and your own peace back because eventually
you're going to learn as you get older and as
you grow and mature that... the right people
that either share your mindset or are open to
hearing your mindset and exchanging mindsets
with you, even if they differ, they will come
to you, even if it's just like one person. That's
enough because you don't need to be a part of
something big that you don't fully agree with
just because you're afraid of being ostracized.
You need to be true to yourself and that is the
best way to protect your energy because if you're
lying to yourself and you're giving into these
narratives and you're Not doing what truly feels
right for you That's gonna weigh on you for the
rest of your life. It may not hit you now, but
it'll hit you at some point It always does And
at some point in your life, you'll come to the
crossroads where you'll be like, okay, I need
to make a decision, like how I'm going to live
my life. And I can either continue down the path
that I've been going where I'm comfortable. And
I have all of these friends that I'm very popular,
but I have some regrets or have things that they
agree with that I don't. But it's easier to just
stay there than starting over. Or I can start
over and I can... really sit down with myself
and think about what I want and what I believe
and what my morals are. And maybe it'll be lonely
for a little bit, but the right people will find
you. And finding comfort within yourself, that's
also going to bring a lot of peace to you, even
if it doesn't seem like it will. It definitely
will. and it'll help you be more okay with the
silence and more okay with your own company.
That's what makes you stronger and attracts better
people to your life. Yeah, to add on to what
you said about being okay with yourself, like
just being present in yourself. There's so many
distractions that I feel like we'd never check
in with ourselves truly, because like... We never
just take the moment to exist, to quiet all the
noise, turn off social media, turn off YouTube,
turn off music even, and just have 20 minutes
where you just sit there and maybe like your
house outside or you're sitting in your car during
your lunch break and you're like, I just want
to exist for a second. I just want to... Realize
what do I want? What do you want for yourself?
What does peace look like to you? Because it's
so hard to really put emphasis on the self without
being told that it's extremely selfish or extremely
wrong or Too individualistic because that's I
don't know if you were raised entirely in the
American society or not, but I know that like
in American society, we are very individualized.
We are very like. Focusing on. Ourselves being
perceived by everybody else in the grand scheme
of things. What do I as a cog mean to the machine
that is America? And sometimes it sucks to think
about yourself as a cog in this machine that
you may not even want to be doing the thing that
you're doing. I personally don't want to be a
cog. I want to be proud of myself. I want to
have peace with who I am. Like you mentioned
in a previous podcast episode, or may have just
been in front of our conversations about defining
success. and what that means to you personally.
And that's a really hard question to answer because
a lot of people will be like, oh, I want to have
a career. I want to be married. I want to have
a family, blah, blah, blah, blah. But even though
I'm very young in the grand scheme of things,
because I'm like, I'm only 26. So like, I still
have 50 to 70 years left. There's a lot of years
to be had. And even now, even as someone who's
like a baby in the timeline of a human span,
I feel so much failure because I didn't get my
degree in four years. I don't have this big corporate
career job. I have something that's the equivalent
to retail, but I love it. It's still a good job.
I like it. It's the least in my degree. That's
another thing. is the excuse that I just about
made about it being related to my degree is something
that shouldn't matter to me. It shouldn't matter
that my degree is being put to work. It shouldn't
matter that I am not that well known as a freelance
artist. It's not the success that I want. Yeah.
I have these affirmative statements and I just
believe it. And I'm just like, no, that's a failure.
And it's like, I still have 50 to 70 years left
to figure that out. Art could blow up and you're
like 90 and you'd be like, cool, bro. Yeah, exactly.
You never know. Yeah, exactly. And it's also
just like the fact that like these well -known
actors, Harrison Ford was a carpenter when he
was 30 and Oprah Winfrey. she was fired before
because she wasn't Oprah yet. Right. You're not
the person you could be. You just continue to
allow yourself to have this defined failures,
I would say. Unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Yeah, because it's like, there's no way that
every person who quote unquote, has success when
they're 26, when they're 30, is going to define
that success when they are older. Or even just
in this current moment, they would be like, oh,
I need to be bigger. I need to be better. And
it's like, sometimes it's OK to be satisfied
with what you have. Yeah. And obviously. Do you
got ambitions? Go for it. Like obviously, I want
to be known for my art. I want to be able to
just do art full time. Even if I don't get there,
I should be able to be proud of my art and be
proud of the work that I have done for people.
Be proud of your growth too. The whole journey,
not just the good parts. Like you can have massive
failures and just... That helps set up the path
for you to get to your success because the road
to success is literally paved with all of your
failures like you need those failures in order
to Learn from them and be cognizant of them to
then be like, oh, you know what? I did it that
way that didn't work I'm gonna do it this way
now and it's life is trial and error. So it's
so unfair to do that to yourself which Like,
when I was running my company, I was not paying
attention to myself at all. I was in over my
head. I was making bad decisions. Like, there
was nothing ever malicious that happened. It's
just, I didn't know what I was doing. I was so
focused on numbers, performance, blah, blah,
blah, everything that other people were in my
ear about. Yeah. That... I just got so, like,
confused and frazzled, and then I just made a
lot of impulsive decisions and a lot of, I'll
figure it out. And it was a massive... I wouldn't
even... I don't even see it as a failure anymore.
Like, I did it first when I first closed it.
But it skyrocketed me into this new way of thinking,
into really looking at myself as a person and
being like, wow, I am a doormat. I need to stop
that. because that's not serving me and that's
making me do stupid shit that's not helping me
get to where I need to be. So I need to stop.
I need to fix it. And then I need to reassess
and move forward because staying in a situation
and in a spot or a mindset like that, it's going
to eat you alive. Like in the moment, it's OK
to feel those feelings. It's always OK to feel
your feelings. You just have to make sure that
you move on from that and that you grow from
them and you don't let those moments define you
or let other people let those moments define
you. Like, you can't do that to yourself because
you are an ever evolving person and human that's
gonna make mistakes and is gonna do stupid shit.
And as long as you're not going out of your way
to hurt people on purpose, You have room to grow
everybody has room to grow and it's really unfair
For you to try to take that away from yourself
Yeah And I like you know, I totally agree with
that and to add on it's the whole idea of self
deprecating yourself. Yeah based off of past
mistakes or just like Comparing yourself to others.
It's not a motivator. A lot of people think If
you continue to hold this guilt, it'll motivate
you to be better. It'll motivate you to want
to draw more, or it'll motivate you to, I don't
know, just keep it in your head forever. Doing
great, sweetie. Thanks, mom. I imagine that with
your company, a lot of people want you to feel
the guilt of not succeeding. But a lot of people
want you to feel that guilt forever. And that's
not productive to anybody. There's so many companies
that have failed, have picked themselves up,
rebranded, and started again. And that does make
them failures. That just makes them people who
have learned, grabbed their shit, and we're like,
let's try again. There's no guilt in failure.
There's no guilt in wanting, like, in the example
of art. Someone can be a tracer, right? Someone
who traces artwork and posts it online. I don't
think a person should be known for tracing forever.
Tracing is a tool in some cases for artists to
get better. And there's nothing wrong with that.
No one should have the guilt of being a tracer
over their head forever. Same with having a failed
business or having Failed relationship or being
a cheater like all that stuff if you genuinely
Feel bad for what you did. Yeah, you should be
able to let go of that guilt for yourself at
least yeah and Move forward because I'm I don't
think it's very fair to yourself to hold all
this guilt Just so that way you can feel like
a martyr of sorts being like, oh, I'm so strong
because I'm carrying all this guilt No, Jimmy,
you're just not doing art anymore. And here's
the thing. It's nobody's fucking business. Yes
Like your growth and your journey is your growth
in your journey If it's online, obviously people
are gonna see it. Don't put things out there
online. These people are gonna see it. Okay Thanks,
Gerald I don't, what if I just wanted to share
my passions with the world and it just ended
up not working out? It doesn't mean that at that
point, like you have to do things, whether it's
in the public eye or not, whether it's just in
your own personal life with your career. Like
when I, I did not have a good track record with
jobs and longevity at jobs because of my medical
disability and most jobs wouldn't work with me.
So. I had to explain that to a lot of jobs where
they're like oh why were you only here for a
couple months and then there for a couple months
and I'm like because I get sick very easily I'm
sick very often I'm sick right now as we're recording
I'm sweating and trying not to pass out but I'm
here but that's the thing is like I push myself
so hard and it really It was, when I was working
full -time and running the company, it was, my
health was getting so much worse because I was
like, I would imagine so. Oh my God. Like I already
have a chronic illness girl. Calm down. What
are you doing? And it's because I wanted to be
so much to prove the people that told me I couldn't
do it wrong to in my, again, in my head from
the core of my being, I always came from a place.
of caring and wanting to make things better for
the creative world, I take on way too much. And
I have way too big ambitions and aspirations
for myself sometimes, like I'm a dreamer. And
all of that really came tumbling down because
I was not being realistic with myself about it.
And not taking the time to sit with myself, I
was just go. And it just constantly made me sicker
and sicker. And unfortunately with the chronic
illness, I was screwing myself over more because
now I'm at a worse place with my illness than
I was before I started my company because of
all of that. But it's all, it's all a learning
process and it's okay to not be where you want
to be. It's okay to not reach your goals or your
dreams. What's not okay is going out of your
way to hurt people so you feel better about yourself.
Or going out of your way to do horrible things
and never learning from them and never doing
anything to redeem yourself or better yourself.
It's never okay to tear other people down for
your own gain. It's never okay to be that kind
of person who is so miserable within themselves.
That's how you sleep well at night. I can't understand
that. And for me, like... The whole thing that
happened with my company is that taught me that
I was going too fast and I just needed to stop
because I was living, regardless of what anybody
says about me, I don't fucking care. I know who
I am. I know what my intentions were. And the
thing is, I always came from a place of... Oh,
I like this person. This person's talented. Let
me see if I can incorporate them in some way.
Let me see if I can do this. Let me see if I
can do that. And coming from a place of wanting
to celebrate not just my creative talent, but
other people's talent as well, it's just I didn't
have the business know -how or experience or
money management skills. And at the end of the
day, it didn't work. And I paid everything I
needed to pay, closed it down. which was my decision,
nobody else's. And then after that, I sat with
that. And my energy, my peace was very disturbed
at the end of this. But I had to sit with that.
I went to therapy. I talked to my therapist about
it. And after a little while, I just started
feeling lighter. because I wasn't doing it anymore
and I didn't have those expectations, not from
other, even from other people on me, but expectations
on myself that were unrealistic. And I still
don't consider that a failure. I consider it
a huge life lesson for me. And I'm still gonna
celebrate my creative passions. I'm still gonna
try to get my stories out there. I'm always gonna
try to find a way to be creative. And no one
can take that away from me. No one should because
as people we have the right to protect our energy
and our peace and know that we know who we are
as people and the people that are around you
know who you are know where your intentions are
it's people that don't know you that are making
assumptions and that really have something that
they need to work on within themselves and go
to therapy to work on that because for me I firmly
believe in every single life lesson that you
get is moving you towards something better. As
long as you're able to get through it and reflect
and take accountability and say, oh yeah, that
didn't work and this is what I did wrong. These
are the things I did incorrectly and then I need
to change. And then this is what I'm gonna do
differently next time. Coming. from a problem
-solving mindset, similar to the first episode
that we did on the podcast, where, what's my
objective? Stuart said. And it can sound cold,
but what am I trying to do? And am I doing this
for myself or am I doing this for other people?
I need to live my life for myself, not for others,
because I can't constantly be trying to please
other people. It's unrealistic. Yeah. So your
growth and your success... at the very core should
come with the very first thing to know that you've
been successful is knowing that you were growing
as a person and you were learning from your mistakes.
That is number one. If you can't take accountability
and you can't look at yourself and your actions
and say, oh, you know what? Yeah, fucked up there.
And use that to make it better, then that's a
problem. But should those moments in your life
define you forever? No. A lot of celebrities
talk about cancel culture, which we also talked
about. And I feel like everything kind of ties
in at the same time with protecting your peace
and energy because it's like the way that you
protect your peace and energy is not letting
other people decide where you put your peace
and your energy. You decide. And as long as,
like I said, you're not going out of your way
to hurt people on purpose and being a malicious
person or an evil person, that's completely different.
There are people out there like that and they're
completely separate from this conversation. Yeah,
that's not protecting your energy. That's being
a fucking asshole. Yes. You are not protecting
yourself by attacking people. You are not protecting
yourself by instigating... Conflicts by calling
people out for minor mistakes that can just be
in the DMS or like the hatchet is already buried
Why are we talking about the hatchet like? Right
there protecting your energy Does not mean you
should go instigate and damage the energy of
somebody else, right? You are protecting yourself.
You're being a warmonger and you're Not nice
word. Okay, you're gonna have to bleep that.
Yeah, it's pride month I'm allowed you get one
you get one, but I'm gonna have to bleep it.
Sorry dusty Okay in case Google day, you can't
say that word on a podcast. Okay fine. See you
next time figure it out. Yeah, see you next Thursday
We all know what I'm spelling right, but yeah,
you are not protecting your energy by being a
terrible person by just... Like you said, there's
no way that you could protect your peace or your
energy by being hateful to somebody else. There
is no way that anyone would feel better about
that. Because those people don't have peace.
And it's not going to bring you more peace to
tear other people down. You might feel high and
mighty for a little bit. You might get... a high
off of being like, oh, I'm part of something,
but it's going to come to an end as everything
does. And eventually you're alone with yourself
looking in the mirror and you're like, okay,
something's got to give. And in order for you
to have peace and to surround yourself with good
people who share that peace, You have to have
that peace within yourself first. Like you...
I'm not sitting here on this podcast with Gabe
being like, I'm a martyr and I'm perfect. No,
I am a good person who has made a shitload of
mistakes. So many fucking mistakes. I have done
really stupid things that I could have just been
like, yeah, you know what? I would have been
better off just not doing that. But I wanted
to try. I wanted to have these experiences. And
that's what happens when you live your life.
Like you do things that... work out or they don't.
But I have never gone on in my way to hurt somebody
on purpose and just to be like, oh, because I
just want to feel like I did something. Like,
you don't have peace in your heart or in your
life if that's what you're doing. There needs
to be a lot of soul searching and emotional maturity
that happens for you to even get to the point
of having any peace come into your life. And
if you're somebody that's contributing to that,
You're not allowing yourself peace. The peace
is there for you to take, but you need to be
able to sit alone with yourself and really look
at things objectively and not from the voices
from other people, but look at it and see what
you think about it. You and your own morals and
your own mind, you are allowed to have your own
opinions. You are allowed to think for yourself.
I promise you, you are allowed. That's why we
are given free thought. You know what I mean?
So it's there. Use it. And don't let other people
constantly control you because the world is so
obsessed with controlling and being controlled
and being contained in something for safety.
Like you're in this box or this box for safety.
That's no way to live your life. So Would you
rather challenge the narrative and grow and then
become a better person to teach others about
your failures and your slip -ups like I'm trying
to do? That way I can help others hopefully who
listen to this podcast be like, oh, owning up
to your shit isn't a horrible thing to do. It's
actually something that helps you in the long
run to not continuously make the same mistakes,
to see Wow, I'm in a way different spot now than
I was before I met my wife. Oh my God. Don't
even talk to me six years ago, Rain. Please.
Like, I will talk to her. Like hug your inner
child, hug your past selves and stuff like that.
But it's, you have to have that moment of I've
come so far and I've learned so much, no matter
how long it's taken me. to realize that your
energy and peace is now finally settling into
the right place. Those things had to happen for
you to get to this point. It's all leading you
to a point of, are you going to continue down
this path or are you going to learn and grow
and continue challenging yourself as well? To
be the best version of yourself and to continue
growing into that best version of yourself Because
we're going to learn until the day we die. We're
never gonna be too old To learn something new
or to be better It's just You're never too old.
Yeah, that's not a thing so Try to really my
advice for finding your peace and protecting
it and protecting your energy is learning to
be lonely without other people, but having the
company with yourself where you can have those
conversations and you can look within yourself.
It's like shadow work and spirituality. If you
go to therapy, awesome. If not, highly recommend
it. That's one thing that you can do to really
have them challenge your way of thinking. A good
therapist is going to challenge your way of thinking.
And it is going to be like, so what do you think
they feel? Like helping you to have that empathy,
helping you to realize that without empathy for
others, you're never going to really know what
it's like to have peace for yourself. If that
makes sense. It does. So that's my spiel. I'll
give it back over to Gabe because I went on another
long rant. Thank you for the baton. And now I'm
thirsty and I'm going to drink my big 64 ounce
gallon of water thing. Sorry, that was so much
and I was so into it. I was totally paying attention.
I was just like, oh, what do I talk about? I
love your thoughts. My thoughts had empty. Smooth
brain. Smooth brain. That's me. I really use
like that sometimes. Honestly, I'm flying by
the seat of my pants. Okay. Aren't we all? There
you go. That's how you protect your energy. Yeah.
Fly by the seat of your pants. Just hang on for
dear life, man. Yeah. And also don't be afraid
of being cringe. I feel like that's another thing
is there's so much self -shame about your interests
or the fact that you draw silly anime figures
or you write little stories. Let people enjoy
shit. God damn it. Exactly. Fucking haters. Get
into that crunchy mic and just say it. But yeah,
let people be cringe. Let yourself be cringe
for sure. Like life is way too short to not be
cringe. Dad does a fucking rat dance. What does
that mean? How am I supposed to conceptualize
that? I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but it popped
into my fucking head. My dad. If he's listening
to this, he's going to text me and be like, why
would you expose me like that? And I'll be like,
I'm sorry, it had to be said. The world needed
to know all 20 people in the world needed to
know. But if I was depressed, like sometimes
he would do like really stupid things. And I
was younger, even as an adult, because it would
be much more cringy now as an adult, but he put
like his hands like to his mouth and dance around.
And I was like, you're the weirdest man I've
ever met in my life. But I laughed. Like, big
belly laughs every time, even though I was like,
you're so stupid. See, that's a guy protecting
his fucking piece. He's in his 70s now, and he's
still... When babies come into the office and
they're afraid of getting their shots, like,
he'll, like, hold them and make a moonwalk on
the table. Oh, my God. He'll distract them, and
I'm like, this man... is forever gonna be a child
at heart. And it's cringey as his daughter, but
at the same time, I wouldn't have him any other
way. And it's, you know, it's so silly and fun
and just let yourself have fun. You're not hurting
anybody. Do silly things, make people laugh.
Yeah, definitely be yourself for sure. Have fun.
Be unapologetically cringe or... weird or silly
just to be yourself. That's entirely so fucking
important. Not in a malicious way. No. Never
in a malicious way. Don't be cringe to the point
of being an asshole. If you're just having fun
and you're like, yeah, I'm going to make this
Mary Sue insert OC into my favorite media. I'll
be like, yeah, man. Do it. Fuck it, everyone
likes her. It's just for fun. Just let people
enjoy what they enjoy. Why are you hating on
people for things that they enjoy, like the fandoms
in the world? Yeah. There's so much hate. Oh
my god, I hate this panel. Can you just let somebody
like a piece of media without being villainized?
Are you really that insecure and miserable in
your own life that you don't want other people
to enjoy things that make them happy? New topic
idea, we just talk about fandoms. Honestly, we're
literally a couple episodes away from the finale.
Maybe fandoms is the finale. That would be cool.
I'd be down for that. Oh my gosh, I could talk
about so many. I'm not a part of a lot of fandoms,
but I've dabbled in different fandoms, but I
don't ever get hardcore into it. because hardcore
fandoms scare me. Oh, absolutely. But I see it
a lot, and so I do have thoughts. Speaking of
thoughts, let's talk about the end of them. Yes,
the ending thoughts. My ending thought is that
protecting your peace and your energy looks different
for everybody based on your needs, based on your
upbringing, your environment, your access to
resources around you that'll be helpful. Ultimately,
try to be a better person every day. Try to challenge
yourself in the way that you think every day.
Try to get others' opinions around you and hopefully
you have people around you that can challenge
your way of thinking or can be like, hey, why
don't we look at, I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm just saying, let's look at all different
sides and perspectives. That way you have a more
rounded idea and complete idea of the situation
rather than it being so narrowly like you have
blinders on because that's not a way to live
and that's not a way to give back to the people
that are around you. So my biggest advice is
you have to work on yourself in order for you
to have peace in your life and be something peaceful
for others and offer good energy to others. You
have to take care of yourself first. You have
to put the oxygen mask on first before you help
somebody else. You got to give yourself that
air before you help somebody else. So be kind
to yourself, be kind to others, and try to always
do better than you were the day before. Herd.
Yes. Yay, cheers, and they're screaming and stuff.
I'm pretty sure you have to give your closing
thoughts too. You don't just get out of it. But
no, oh, look, it's time. Oh, great. Anyway, you
can support us on Patreon. No, I'm kidding. Okay,
my ending thoughts are like flatline noise. Okay,
be present. Just take the time to just exist.
I recommend 20 minutes a day. Just don't look
at your phone. Don't listen to music if you could
help it. And just exist wherever you are for
10 to 20 minutes. and just really check in with
yourself and exist and also don't be afraid to
avoid triggers and rage bait and just negative
spaces. There's no harm in doing that because
you're just protecting yourself and just figure
out what you want to do. What is something that
you want that makes you feel happy and feel accomplished
and feel like you Are who you are? Yes Without
malicious intent foot without malicious intent
I feel like we should just have that like at
the bottom of the screen is just in a little
asterisk that says without malicious intent Because
people will take things and be like, oh look
at the advice that they're giving it stop Stop
it go in the corner and think about what you
did man. We can't say anything anymore That's
a whole nother topic for another podcast. Write
it down. Write that down. Thank you for joining
me, Gabe. And if you would like to let them know
where they can find you. I'm on YouTube as Galen
Quest, G -A -E -L -I -N Quest. I do art YouTube.
I do like little speedpaints. I do little fun
videos. Slay. I have like, I have plans for videos,
hopefully by now. You say that and then I always
do. But listen, okay, after this, because the
let them theory, I talked about my OCtober video,
so that's probably definitely out by now. Good.
But I'll probably have another video out super
soon where I talk about my experience entering
an art exhibition for the first time. And I talk
a little bit about the art world shit. As a new
artist, I don't know. Good job. It worked. Good
job. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Thank you guys
for watching. And we'll be back with another
podcast soon. I'm trying to do two podcasts a
month now, if possible. The goal is to reach
10 for season one of this podcast. Let's see
how it goes. If we're going to make a season
two, I'm not really sure. But if you would like
to leave a comment, leave a like. And yes, we
do have a Patreon. It's patreon .com slash song
of rayne, R -A -Y -N -E, if you'd like to support
me there. And we will be back soon. So drink
water, take care of yourself and be kind for
real. Be kind. Or we'll kill you. With kindness
but kindnesses. Oh my god