Hello and welcome back to Real Talk with Rayne.
I'm back once again with Gabe. That's me. Hello.
Gabe is our regular co -host because that's just
how it is now. At this point, I should have my
name on the podcast. You really should. You really
should. I'll get right on that. I'll group brand
and everything. It'll be fine. Oh, thanks. Nobody
cares. Anyway, it's all good. We only get like
20. Oh, 20 whole people listening to my voice.
Oh, my God. That's crazy. It's like a room full
of people. It is. I'm talking to a room full
of people right now and I don't know how I feel
about that. It's all good. They adore you, I'm
sure. Leave a like below if you adore Gabe and
think his voice is adorable. If you don't, leave
a comment about it so I can read it and internalize
it forever. Don't leave comments that'll make
Gabe spiral. Don't do that. No, do it for the
engagement. Do it. You know what? I dare you.
I dare you to leave mean comments about me. I
won't read them, but I want you to leave them
there. All right. Okay. You know what? We're
causing drama on purpose. Oh, that's a perfect
segue into our conversation today. The topic
is drama channels. So we both have quite a few
opinions about drama channels and in my honest
opinion, I think they're extremely toxic and
not good for people's mental health and I mean
because we're talking about drama channels that
make money off of the profiting off of people's
You know misfortune and I just yeah. Yeah, like
content farms where they just like constantly
have updates around a certain situation that's
not even... It's obsessive. It's creepy, it's
obsessive, and it makes me cringe thinking about
people watching anything that I do just to make
a video about me. Do you have anything better
to do with your life? Yeah. Anything productive
to do with your life? Why are you so obsessed
with this person? I understand some drama channels
are like, you know, I won't say the names of
people, but you know, I've seen a couple that
are covering things like influencers that are
pushing or like they're saying that they're pushing
unhealthy lifestyles, but that content creator
saying that they're not, but it's very clear
that they need help. And then it's kind of like
the gray area with that where But then again,
if somebody is profiting off of like shock content
or, you know, negative attention is still attention
on the internet. So almost in a way you're enabling
the behavior that you want to see stop. Absolutely.
Yeah. Yeah. It's not helpful. So I don't, I don't,
I don't know. I think there's a whole like ethical
dilemma that goes into it too, or like, you don't
know this person. Why are you? obsessed with
commenting on their life and everything that
they do. Mm -hmm. I was definitely like a watcher
of some drama channels like years ago, but it
was like, you know, it was like Big T drama where
it's like the the I forget the name of it, but
it was like the whole scandal with James Charles,
Tati and Jeffree Star. What drama gathered or
whatever? Yeah, like whatever that that was like
fucking years ago, you know, yeah, but like I
you know, like I would watch that because i'm
just like, oh i'm so nosy But I also feel like
it's also the fact of like it's not my area As
well, like I wasn't into beauty youtubers. I
wasn't into the beauty scene I didn't have any
strong opinions on uh, james charles tati or
um jeffree star before the drama came out but
like I think that's like why so many people are
interested in drama channels is because they
either have a huge stick in the game or they
don't have a stick in the game or it's just like
oh I just want drama for drama's sake because
I'm a nosy little bitch and I just want to know
what the hell is going down in like another part
of the internet like I'm not into Minecraft YouTubers
but I know all the I know most of the Minecraft
drama Not anymore because it's like it's it's
over and done with and I have a short -term memory
but like Like I feel like a lot of people watch
drama videos and go like oh my god, that's insane
Anyway back to my taxes, you know, like it's
not Yeah, but you're not even getting that person's
side either like the person's actually yeah,
you know being made There's a content creator
that I've seen many a times crazy K adorable
adorable has been a writer for a while does cosplays
as I believe she uses she her pronouns I hope
that I'm not incorrect but I believe that she
uses she her pronouns she she's been doing a
lot of really cool like character makeup and
she gets a lot of hate and for people that are
just like for no reason like And there was, I
guess, one time where I didn't even really, I
don't even remember the whole thing that went
down, but somebody made a video on her and we're
saying that, like, she doesn't care about her
viewers' mental health. They're like, she's profiting
off of, like, making videos about mental health.
And then Kay responded to that, just being like,
are you serious? Like... Yeah. So if I talk about
my mental health, I'm profiting off of mental
health and, like, exploiting mental... No. Like...
people can't even be genuine anymore without
somebody being like, I don't like that, or I
feel like I can twist that into my narrative
and make profit, which is gross. To me like and
it like I feel like it also feeds into like the
topic We've talked about previously where it's
just like people want to nitpick people that
they don't like Just so that way they have a
reason to hate on them or dox them or XYZ do
a call -out post do a drama video And it's like
Because again as someone who you know had enjoyed
the that kind of content as like background noise
when I did art Um, it's like Like it's one and
done for me because it's not my business i'm
not involved but i'm sure the people who are
either being called out for nitpicks, yeah, or
As are being exposed are genuinely fucking hurt
about this or are being genuinely like affected
Where it's just like now their real lives will
never be the same because of an internet call
-out video It's not even being cognizant of the
fact that that person has feelings and has a
side to it too. And it's just like people that
see drama videos immediately jump on the person
that's being reported on and don't even bother
thinking about their side or what they might
be going through or how it might be affecting
them. They just believe blindly what they're
seeing from this person where a lot of times
the person that you're hearing like shit from
is the problem. and is twisting the narrative
because the person that doesn't respond is like
I'm trying to just like do my life and like live
my life but like it's just to me I don't understand
why the internet feels so entitled to everybody
else's life just because you put your life on
the internet people say all the time well you
put your life on the internet with so you want
people to see it that still ethically doesn't
mean that you have a right to then harass and
obsess and stalk that person for your own personal
gain. Like whatever happened to being a community
of people or having, you know, any kind of emotional
intelligence to be like, oh, that sounds bad.
Maybe I should do my own research, talk to the
person, or maybe I can talk to people that are
close to that person. Why are you believing some
random person on the internet that's doing drama
channels on somebody who doesn't even know the
person? You really want tea? Go to the people
that they know. That if you don't get tea, there
you go. People aren't allowed to just exist anymore
and put themselves out there to be seen with
how people that are upset or jealous of them
immediately jumping on them for something. You
know bring them down, which is a horrible mindset
to have Yeah, and again you can dislike someone
you can not get on with someone and still like
treat them with respect right you don't have
to Call out every little mistake or even just
like make a reason to hate somebody Because it's
just like because if anything you're just grasping
at straws in order to make yourself feel better
about not liking someone i'm going to give you
to anyone listening i am going to give you the
explicit permission to not like someone for no
reason you're allowed okay yeah it's your god
-given right to hate people i stand by that like
you can just you can just not like people and
it doesn't have to be any specific reason you
can just be like i don't i don't like their vibe
and it's like that's fine yeah or Or it's like,
you know what? They kind of have the mannerisms
of something I don't like or they even just them
existing next to me is really like messing with
my Like it's overstimulating me that's fine.
You can you can set you can experience that And
still be polite to that person, you know, like
you don't have to Straight up be like, okay now
i'm going to look into their past Yeah, and try
to come up with a reason, a real reason to hate
them. Like, oh, they must destroy them. Like,
yeah, what you need to go to therapy like that.
So that's a lot, boo. That is a lot for you to
just get upset over somebody you don't even know
and want to destroy their life. Like if the tables
were turned, you'd be like, why is this happening
to me? Like. There's no emotional intelligence
in that. Yeah, there's no empathy like there's
no weight. Would I how would I feel if somebody
was doing this to me? Yeah So it's not yeah not
to also mention is like a lot of these early
callouts that I've at least I've been witness
to or like towards people in like the early 20s,
right? It's either doing the callouts or being
called out for their actions. Right. And as someone
who's frontal lobe just like developed this past
year. Right. I could say with absolute certainty
that I am not going to like fully judge a person
for what they did. You know in their early 20s.
It's like the argument of like oh, but they're
an adult and it's like, okay, but No one wakes
up on their 18th birthday and know exactly what
the fuck they're doing Okay, not yeah, they're
an adult but that doesn't mean they're mature.
No, it doesn't because and even if at 25 I'll
give like some like brace with maturity is definitely
like a thing like Obviously when you get older
you're supposed to be knowing better, but there's
also like the idea of like people mature at different
rates depending on their environment depending
on Whether or not they actually were able to
socialize as a child And experience other people
if your only viewpoint of the world is your small
house small -ass town in the middle of bumfuck
any state You're not gonna know exactly how it
feels or how to talk to someone who's completely
different than you. And so you're, I feel like
you're giving, you're allowed to give people
the grace to learn and to understand that they
are learning. This isn't to say, this isn't to
give an excuse, obviously, to people who are
like genuine assholes, but you kind of also have
to understand that if you're unable to tell this
person to their face, like, hey, what you said,
kind of was a bitch move, um, then that's a problem
on their part as a character, you know, like
the person offending you. Cause it's like, cause
if you're not open and you're not showing that
you're open to critique or to growth, you're
going to stay stunting, stunted forever. And
it's like, yeah, you know, and, and like, I'm
not saying drama, like drama videos don't help
that. at all. Like, there's no way that you could
be like, you could post a very public video to
call out on someone and then expect that person
to take it well and to grow from that. Like,
some content creators do, and that's great for
them. I'm glad they were able to grow. Sorry,
my cats are fighting. I don't know if you can
hear that. I'm on a podcast. Get off the couch.
Oh, God, I lost my thought. All right. So some
content creators are able to know it's fine.
It was the cat's fault. But sometimes like some
content creators are able to grow from that call
out. And that's great for them. I'm glad that
they are able to mentally handle that. Yeah,
but. Being publicly shamed, because that's what
this is. You're being publicly shamed. Like millions
of people too. Like we're talking like big influencers.
Potentially millions of people. And like for
like little nitpicks of things. Or like... bigger
mistakes where it's just like maybe you had bad
business practices and you you accidentally like
stifled people's pay or you did you had a miscommunication
and now your artist isn't being paid like i heard
um i i follow um A youtuber called cat and chat
and she does a lot of like art and vtuber Drama
content in the realm of like beware of like scammers
and stuff like that. Yeah, but in some cases
the people doing the call -out are more like
exposing the fact that this artist who is Has
a chronic illness Doesn't type fast enough and
it's like okay. That's not really a call -out.
Yeah, just you know so but like That's not that's
a shame that that kind of post that kind of call
out is to shame the artist And to quote unquote
doing better when really you are guilt tripping
a person who is chronically ill into feeling
guilty about being ill You know like um, you
are not helping that artist gain accountability
Um in some cases you could be if that person
genuinely was someone who had bad management.
I was definitely someone who uh did not do commissions
well when I was like 23 because I Did not know
how to time manage and so I would leave people
I would ghost people. Yeah Like while I was being
paid, but right I would definitely like stall
for sure But like Like that's not reason enough
to cancel an artist forever or right to like
if that helps like if Public shaming helps them
become more aware of the fact that like their
time management sucks and they should fix that.
I still don't like the method, but I'm glad he
was able to grow or whatever. But. But I feel
like they would have grown anyway. I feel like
they would have gone anyway without the public
shame. Like why are you so entitled to think
that you will change this person? If this person
is a shitty ass person like you claim, they're
going to continue being that way. If there's
somebody who wants to be better and wants to
grow, it's gonna happen in their real life when
karma kicks them in the ass. And they're like,
Oh, now I'm at a crossroads. And now I need to
figure out whether I want to be better or stay
on this path. And I can either stop what I'm
doing, switch things around, rethink and go forward
and be better. Or I can just be like, eh, fuck
you. I don't care. Like, I'm gonna just keep
doing what I do. And either way, like, That's
going to happen offline. That's not going to
happen online. Like you doing that is it might,
you might think it helps, but a lot of times
these influencers don't even, may not even see
what you're saying, depending on how big they
are and, or don't care. Or like they're, you
know, some influencers that are constantly clapping
back. I'm like, you don't need to prove yourself
to anybody, babe. Like. Yeah. Why are you, you
don't need to prove yourself. You don't need
to explain yourself. What you need to do is if
you feel like they have a point in their call
out, don't let that be like detrimental to you
as a person because you need to, you need to
learn for yourself. Like these people don't know
you. They have no clue what you're going through.
And even some of the people that do know they
will conveniently leave out things that would
make more sense on your behalf. to make them
look better. And it's like, it just doesn't,
it's so cruel to me and it's childish and immature
and cruel that I watch these drama channels and
they're like, Oh my God, guys, I'm such, I'm
hot tea. And I'm like, did you work today? Or
like was the tea that like you did a double shift
and you're so tired, like that you did anything
to contribute positively to society, or you sat
behind your computer and were a high school bully
to someone. Like, good for you? If that's what
makes you happy? Like, tearing other people down
and obsessing over their life and just obsessing
and commenting on their life, if that means you
feel better, I'm very concerned about your mental
health and your state of being because you don't
clearly have a life that is satisfactory enough
to you to feel okay not doing that and not being
somebody who craves constant attention from strangers
on the internet. Like, we need to, and I think
a lot of it's the younger generation being so
chronically online that my dad, he's a pediatrician
out of Arizona, and he's done a lot of conferences
with like, the board and you know a lot of different
places. I won't say names but he he's talked
about it a lot and I think I might have mentioned
it in a previous podcast but my memory is absolute
garbage so but I know that he had mentioned having
kids so he's a pediatrician so he sees kids up
until I think they're like 18 and so they come
into the office and they're just on their phones
like they can't even look at him. And he's like,
hi, I'm here, I exist. Like, are you going to
be with me? And the family, like the mom or the
caregiver, the caregiver is there answering for
them while they're just brain dead on the fucking
phone. And I'm like, you should be telling him
what's wrong. You know, if you're old enough
to, you know, and if you're able to express your
symptoms. But he's talked a lot about in his
field of study, that it is just, it's the rate
of not only mental health decreasing, but the
rate of people not making it out of it is, you
know, I'm trying not to say the words, but people
who can't handle that, that make a final decision
that takes them away from us. because of something
that happened on the internet. Yeah. And it's
just so, that is so sad to me that it's not even
just all young people, but it's mostly young
people having like influencers to look at and
unrealistic body images. It's just things like
the internet has just become a way to make people
feel worse about themselves. And by doing drama
channels, you're not making the world a better
place. You're making it. a more toxic place.
Do something better for yourself. Talk about
your journey, your mental health. Do something
like that. I feel like that's good tea. I could
go on a podcast. We could have episodes of talking
about, we thought, whoa, what was that? Rethinking
failure. We did that one where we talked a lot
about how our failures shaped us into people.
your call -outs are not going to be the catalyst
for change in somebody. They're just not. No.
Especially if they don't know you, we're all
people on the internet and we're all pretty irrelevant
when it comes to the internet, because the internet
is a huge place. Even people who have millions
of followers, you could ask somebody, especially
people chronically offline, they're like, who?
Yeah, they don't live their lives online so And
it's it's better to like your mental health is
so much better when you're not constantly online
Yeah, I I completely Agree, especially like because
I know that there's gonna be drama channels that
argues like oh, well, I'm just I'm giving the
news or something I'm giving like something important.
Like if it's you know a scandal involving essay
or Talking with people underaged in a very gross
context And like that's fair. Like I understand
wanting to give that News outlet, you know, like
give that voice give that voice to those people.
Yeah but in the same like vein is like a lot
of these drama channels because there's not like
a scandal like that Every week, you know, so
they have to Keep pushing out content in order
to get their fat, you know, their fat check from
YouTube. Yep So they pick they they pick smaller
crimes and I put crimes very loosely, you know
Like it's not even really crime so much as like
I knew like a nuisance or a nuance push just
like Oh, this guy unfollowed this guy. So there
must be some drama involved. And it's like, or
maybe they just don't want to follow each other.
I don't know. Like, it's like these all these
social cues in social media is being used as
evidence when really it could just be as simple
as like, hey, we did a collab once that collabs
over. You have your content. I have my content.
I don't want it. You know, that's it. Why is
it your business? Like why is it? Why is it your
business? Why is it your business? Did they ask
you to? Like call out somebody or did they yeah,
why is their life your business? I don't understand
like oh this person followed unfollowed this
person. Okay Yeah, and lanes and that's like
where the issue with drama channels come from
is that they run out of news so they start like
just picking up random stories like there's a
reason why 24 hour news channels are so not.
Very good with journalism that much yeah because
it's just like you don't have news all the time
you know you're there's not you know a crime
happening every minute of the day that they need
to report on sometimes. That's why you have like
parts of the morning broadcast where it's like,
oh, we tried a recipe or look at this dog we
found, you know, like it's they have to like
pad out the pieces with other stuff or just minor
things where it's just like, yeah, so we heard
a rumor once and it's like, OK, that's not good
journalism. You're not you're. It just becomes
bullying at one point. It does, yeah. It just
becomes bullying, online bullying. You think
you're helping but you're not. And it's like,
I don't really understand what you get out of
it if you're getting paid by YouTube, like great,
but I don't know why you would feel happiness
from hurting somebody and then getting paid to
do it. For me, I can't even think about doing
that. I don't feel like that's worth the money,
like any money. That's it's not something that
I would want to do. I don't want to make people
feel bad about themselves. I already feel bad
about myself enough. So like it's why am I doing
it to someone else? Yeah, you know, and that
creator then is like, well, now I don't know
who I can trust. Now I don't know who actually
supports me or if they're just watching me because
they want to catch me slipping up or catch me
saying something that they can misconstrue and
twist around to profit them like. It's sick,
and I don't like it. I wish that people were
more cognizant of how their actions affect other
people, but they're not because they don't care.
There's a lack of empathy in the community, in
all age groups. It's even in workplaces, too.
It's not just the internet, but the internet
is a huge hub for it, so it centralizes there.
And it's also just the fact of, like, similar
to how the saying goes, where it's just like,
once you say something, you cannot take it back.
It's like that, but you're amplifying it through
the internet, you know? Like, I'm a huge advocate
for, like, shit talking towards people when they
can't hear you. Or they will never hear you.
Because, like, sometimes you do need to vent.
Sometimes you do need to vent about, like, coworkers.
or you're like, oh, God, remember that X that
one time and that's fine. You can talk shit all
you want. But it's the when you put that shit
on the Internet or those people that you don't
even interact with anymore to see and their family
to see. And it's like you are putting out into
the world so much hatred that is now Basically
out of your control. Yeah, it like you drop the
pebble in the water and now the tsunami hit in
the island is now you know, like it's Like you
drop that pebble you Start you could affect someone
so badly that they as you said leave the world.
Okay, they They decide that they can't handle
it anymore. And that's your fault because you
decided to make a mole. Sorry. A mountain out
of a molehill. Right. And yeah. Over something
that you're not even a part of. Like you weren't
in the trenches. You weren't the one like. You
weren't the one that was being affected by it.
You just heard about it. Right. You see it out
of context, or you take someone complaining about
them doing their job as an excuse to put out
a video about how terrible their boss is. Yeah,
okay. You're allowed to complain about work.
You're allowed to complain about your boss. But
the second someone takes what you say as like
a complaint and decide to ruin your boss's life,
that's a little, that's a little much. You know
people have gotten like fired from their jobs
and stuff because of internet stuff and it's
exactly it's terrible like Yeah, you were going
to sleep well at night. Like yeah, you know Like
do you feel better now that you made this person
want to harm themselves? homeless jobless Seeing
no hope in the world taking away any creative
freedom they had again over something that is
so, so small. We're not talking about, um, assaulters.
We're not talking about huge, like, literal crimes.
We're talking about mistakes that drama channels
like to amplify to be these huge fucking things
when it's shit that was either done as an, like,
it ended up badly because it was a mistake or
It just didn't pan out the way they hoped or
they just like They didn't know any better or
just you know Like that was fucking ten years
ago. You know like it's right. Why are you living
in their past? It's their past to move forward
from yeah, why are you? What's the word why are
you punishing people for being? Uneducated in
something like that's another thing. It's like
yeah Or young and dumb, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like,
like, it's not like, God forbid, you know, like,
I'll, I'll use me as an example. Yeah. I don't
know jack shit about accounting. I barely know
how to use Excel. Same. Thank you. Even though
it's confusing. It is confusing. I don't understand
the formulas. Anyway, but point being. And I
try to be like, and you guys need an account,
say, for example, like someone needs an account,
be like, well, I know enough and we're friends,
so I'll help you out. And then, you know, I do
the job and then, you know, oh, now we have to
pay ten thousand dollars out of pocket because
I did the taxes wrong. Right. Like that's a huge
oopsie on my part. You know, like that's paying
fucking thousand dollars. But like. And I should
be fired as your fucking accountant, but that
doesn't mean that I should be homeless jobless
and harassed Right, right. Those are the mistakes.
We're referring to is stuff where it's just like
yeah, you were kind of incompetent, but You're
not you shouldn't like Be put to death on a spike
and burned and then thrown into the river and
drowned like it's not The worst thing that happened
was like, okay, there's 10 K or. And it's just
like, all right, we got it, you know, the worst
case that happens, it's like it's still my fault.
I still have to like in this example, I would
still have to pay the ten thousand dollars or
whatever. And that would be like my punishment
was to pay that back or something. But like and
lose my job. But right. That should be it. No
one should be going onto the Internet. and being
like, guys, don't hire this guy as an accountant.
It's not your business either. Yeah. And it's
like, I don't work with him ever because he's
actually super incompetent all the time. And
it's like, no, dude, I just I do it to kind of
help. But I knew a little bit more about Excel
than everyone else in the room. Like, it's not.
Like, God forbid I had the dream to be an accountant,
God damn it. You know, like. Well, it's also
just like people that want to grow from their
mistakes. I feel like yeah, they can't because
when it's painted that way, like they can offline.
I'm not saying they can't. That's bad choice
of words. But but when you have stuff like that
words lives on the Internet forever, like you
might grow up and look back on that video and
be like, oh shit, like I. Maybe you made up with
that person Maybe something happened where you
saw that person grow from their experience like
maybe you yourself matured and had You know have
been reflecting and gone on a self -help journey
and you know, you're starting to mature as a
person You're like I can't take that back now
Yeah, because now that's out there forever and
it's showing me being toxic towards this person
Do you realize it's also going to come back on
you? It's not necessarily always going to come
back on the person that you're reporting on.
It's going to come back on you too because people
that truly think for themselves and are emotionally
intelligent, they will look into something and
they'll be like, okay, that's one side. I'm going
to see what this other side is, or I'm just going
to make my own educated opinion whether I want
to even be involved with either of these people
and move on with my life. Most people don't care,
so they're just like, okay, whatever. But in
my own conscience, I wouldn't want to have something
out there myself where I was tearing down somebody
else and then later on, I'm seeing them do better.
I would rather be like, okay, behind the scenes,
I don't like what you did. I'm not going to associate
with you anymore. That should be punishment enough.
They're losing people that they associate with.
You don't need to be the person that comes in
and goes all like, oh, we're going to start an
army and everyone's going to hate on this person
now, even if they didn't even talk to them. It's
a very much like a bully and gang up on people
mindset, which is just really, really childish.
And it makes you to people like myself who I
wouldn't say I'm super emotionally intelligent.
I'm getting there. I'm working on myself. But
like, I am getting to the point where like, when
I see drama channels, I'm like, I don't have
any interest. Whereas like, when I was younger,
I'd be like, okay, maybe I'll look. Maybe I'll
see the tea. And it could just be, you know,
I'm 33 now, and I'm just have no interest because
I'm busy working and I'm busy living my life
with my wife and, you know, trying to pay bills
and living in the moment. But And then I looked
on these things and I'm like, especially the
titles and like the headlines that they put to
get clicks, even if it's click bait, it's just,
or people use thumbnails of somebody who isn't
even involved. Yeah. And then it's like their
pictures there. And then that person gets harassed,
even though they were not even involved. It just
was somebody else that like looked like a good
thumbnail. Like, what are you doing? It's ridiculous.
Like, I don't understand how you don't think
that that makes you look bad. Yeah. Like really
think about that for a second. Really think about
what am I doing here? Am I being a positive influence
on the world and the people that I interact with?
Or am I being a bully just because I can? And
just because I think that I'm entitled and I
can make other people hate this person because
I do and I want to feel validated. And I want
to feel like I'm leading something. Like, you're
not though. You're not. You're being somebody
who no one should aspire to be because you are
not a very nice person. If this is what you get
your kicks off of. You know, like if you get
your kicks by hurting others, that's a serious
problem. You know, it's like you said, it's stuff
that's, you know, things that people get called
out for. We're not talking about things that
should actually be like tried and, you know,
yeah, you know, put in jail for stuff like people
have been, but it's, you know, I think the internet
just is so entitled and so almost like feeling
people are spoiled a little bit on the internet
because they it's so easy. To twist a narrative
to have people then be like, oh my god Yeah,
like we should all jump on the hate wagon like
and then I see people still though I do see people
on the internet who will comment and be like,
oh, well, what about this? They're like, let's
think about it this way and they all get like
hated on because they're trying to Be emotionally
intelligent about it and be like, well, maybe
we should think about this from the other person's
point of it No, that gets buried. Yeah, like
just with people being like, no, no, no, no,
no, no, you're either with us or against us.
Like, yeah, no. That's not how that's not how
you should be thinking as an adult. As an adult,
you should be thinking. Does this person know
this person? Like, is this act? Is this a real
thing? Like, why are we involved if it's something
so serious like their community and their family
and people that know them need to get involved?
Like, If you're just doing drama to do drama
and to try to stir the pot, like it just really,
I don't know. It just, it makes me sad for the
people, both of them really, because it makes
me sad thinking about the person that clearly
has nothing better to do than to tear other people
down and try to make them feel bad about themselves
so that they can profit off of that. That's terrible.
And then I feel bad for the people who are being
harassed and reported on because they can say
whatever they want back or they can respond to
it. But then it's just going to be the people
that have already watched that that video first.
Mm hmm. Like the drama video first that spins
the narrative a certain way. It's they say it
was such conviction that then it's like, oh,
we're sold now. And then they go to the creator.
And even if they're trying to talk about it,
say like, oh, yes, I've heard this, blah, blah,
blah. No, not good enough. Apologies. Not good
enough. No, no, no, no. Cancelled. No forever.
You're done. Like. Really? That's. That's just
it's it's shameful. And so like my job is legitimately
one of the best jobs I've ever had, also one
of the hardest jobs I've ever had, because. like
I don't get paid as much as well also my company
agrees on this but we work through the state
so it's like the state insurance is kind of finicky
um but we're in the business of literally every
day I know that I'm doing good because I'm helping
families get access to food shelter housing transportation
and medical appointments for their kids school
therapy like I'm not the one actually doing the
services, but in my position, we're like that
middleman who we can contact the PCP and be like,
hey, this kiddo needs therapy or family therapy,
or they need a tablet so that they can speak
through it. I'm helping those families find those
resources, referring them to those places and
getting them supported better to where they may
not be able to afford it themselves. So we're
finding programs for them. that they can afford
or that's free to help them and their family
live a little easier. And that, that's a huge
impact on families. Like I have 60 families on
my caseload right now, 60. Yeah. Families, not
just kids, families of all varying sizes. And
I'm not going to come home from a day of work
and be like, okay, so I saw X, I saw this person.
I don't remember what, like. I have enough to
deal with during the day with parents and people
and hearing stories that break my heart and I
can't do more than what my job allows me to do.
Do something that fulfills you and challenges
you every day that makes you a better person,
that allows you to grow. It doesn't have to be
human services. I'm not saying that. I'm in a
pretty extreme, based on what I do. got in college
for my bachelor's like that's why I'm kind of
in this this one area. But things that are similar
to that were even just small things like spreading
compliments I for the longest time I have always
tried to whenever I'm in the car or whenever
we're out This is legitimate. You can ask my
wife. I do this all the time just because I know
what it's like to feel really down. I know what
it's like to feel really insecure. And a lot
of times, I just want to make people feel better.
And it might be the human services aspect of
it, but I will try to give at least one compliment
to a stranger a day. Just because. because it
makes me feel better. It makes me feel like I
might have made somebody smile and I may have,
you know, made their day a little better. That
fills me like I'm not going to insult one person
a day because I want to feel powerful. Like.
That's just lonely and it's going to weigh down
on your heart and your soul and your energy that
you're giving out is going to be very. Gross
negative energy, so yeah, yeah. even if it's
us driving, and I'll roll down my window and
be like, I love your dress! The amount of people
who kind of look, and I'm like, bye! And my wife
is like, oh, I signed a contract. I am in it
for the long haul. Long haul! But it's just like
almost every single time. that I've done something
silly like that I've looked back and they've
been smiling even if it was like giggling like
oh my god that was weird like they went from
not smiling to smiling yeah and it's just it's
a good feeling to know that you're putting positive
energy into the world like my car has a sticker
that says I hope something good happens to you
today smiley face so even if I don't talk to
them You're seeing me on the highway and I'm
like, I hope you're doing good, BB. Be better.
Be somebody who puts out love and light in the
world and not this. Life is already so fucking
hard. You don't need to make it harder for someone
else just because you feel like you are to quote
unquote saving somebody from this person. Because
it's like it's like another thing that like a
lot of these call out posts or like one off video
is like to do is they're like, oh, just so you
guys know, yeah, this artist is a scammer because
they don't respond fast enough or this. Right.
This person is a scammer because they didn't
pay me fast enough. And it's like Like I understand
wanting to bring that to attention to people.
Yeah, but You don't need like tell your friends,
you know word -of -mouth exists Yeah, you know
like if you truly care about people you would
like say for example It's on Twitter, right?
You would go to the people who follow that artist
on Twitter and be like hey, just so you know
This artist you follow they kind of like Are
slow with responding or they did this or they
stifled me or whatever like and if they make
a call out post that's on their conscious but
at least for you you're not directly. Causing
this kind of like hard kids again some artists
aren't very good at communicating. But you don't
know what's going on in their life and they don't
they're not required to tell you that. As well.
I feel like a lot of clients feel like they have
the right to know if you're in the hospital or
if you're experiencing anything in life that
causes even just not doing work like their Clients
are entitled to knowing every everything you
do or why you're not doing the thing that they
want you to do Like should you be transparent?
Absolutely as transparent as you can but you're
Clients shouldn't feel like it's like an obligation.
That's what a TOS is for and a contract as well.
You're using words to make it sound worse than
it actually is. Exactly. Yeah. We need to go
back to word of mouth when it comes to drama
and stuff, especially for lower fractions. or
infractions because it's like like if you truly
care about other people you would tell that person
you know like if someone is like working for
someone that you know slighted you before you
would be like hey just so you know just to be
cautious a few years ago this person slighted
me and i just want you to know that you know
that's in their history uh so just be cautious
and like try to think of a solution that I didn't
think of during that time. You know, you absolutely
can do that. You absolutely should, because that's,
you know, trying to look out for your fellow
man. But doing a whole call out post over a small
infraction is completely uncalled for, especially
in like, again, the public shaming sphere. It's
like you are not. Helping you are not making
the situation better if anything you in like
the worst cases you have We have lost artists
on the internet as in like they just leave the
internet They yeah, they're like hanging around
but they stop doing internet stuff on the internet
because of a Call out where it's just like hey
don't do this artist because they actually kind
of suck at time management And it's like that
fucking sucks You can't even grow from that.
Like it's stupid for someone to feel so entitled
to call somebody out. And then that person can
grow from that and become a better artist or
you learn from their mistakes or realize that
something wasn't the right path. And then that's
not allowed because you did this thing once.
And like, even if you've clearly made it better,
I'm still going to hold that over your head or
someone new is still going to hold over. It's
like, you can't. It's not your job to keep people
honest, it's their job to keep themselves honest.
Even word of mouth can be toxic because the way
that you're telling stories, a lot of times people
are telling stories where they only tell the
parts where something bad happened. They don't
tell any parts about what they said or what they
did that they contributed to any kind of fallout
there was. like, or the context that they may
have known. It's just chaos. And it's something
that I've noticed more and more when I'm online,
that any tiny thing that can be said or misconstrued
is immediately blown up into something and made
into a drama video. And I'm like, when did we
when did we become a society that was so immature?
Yeah. And toxic and wanting to hurt other people.
Like this is why we're always divided. It's not
all of the things that people think. People think
it's all politics. It's not all politics. It's
literally the fact that people can't have mature
conversations with one another, especially if
they've, you know, done wrong. Like I had somebody
who was in our life for a past couple of years,
my wife and I, who really, really hurt us. and
it was very toxic and we aren't friends with
them anymore. But they reached out recently and
they said, you know, I don't know. I mean, I
don't know how much of it was genuine, but I'm
not going to like assume that it wasn't. But
they, you know, emailed me and said, I just want
to apologize for the way that I acted. I want
to take accountability for my part and, you know,
acknowledge the things that didn't acknowledge
before and I was like honestly I responded back
I'm like I I accept your apology things were
tough between everybody I'm you're not the only
one that was wrong in every situation it always
takes multiple people to be wrong in a situation
and I'm I'm very appreciative that you apologized
for your part and I hope that you're doing well
I hope that you can continue to find peace and
just sending love and light even to people who
have really hurt you. With the exception of some
people that have really hurt you in ways that
you don't want to forgive, you don't need to.
I'm just saying. I have an ex that will not forgive.
I feel like I've kind of forgiven, but... It's
to the point where like there was just so much
that happened there. That was really bad that
I can't I Don't believe that the apology is genuine
because I know what that person is, right? And
it's I'm seeing the same patterns when they apologize
that I saw 12 years ago So I'm like, okay that
kind of gives me the feeling that you're not
being genuine. So mmm, no, no, thank you but
then again, it's it's more just I Don't have
a desire to have you in my life but I don't wish
you any ill will. I hope that you find happiness
and please don't contact me again. Just be civil
and break it up. Then you don't have to go and
be like, oh my God, I can't believe this person
said that don't talk to me anymore. Can you believe
somebody doesn't want to talk to me? Exactly.
You're not entitled to people's time and their
energy or their life or their anything. No one,
no one's going to keep that person honest about
themselves and think that you're helping, but
you're actually hurting. Yeah. And it's also
just like the fact of like, like you have someone
in your life that you could, if you, like you
had the, you have the power to ruin someone's
life if you made a public post. Right. Or, and
I do as well, but it's like. I'm not, we're not
gonna do that because we understand that like,
that's not going to be helpful. And I'm not gonna
feel better because I said that. You know, that's
another thing is like, if you like, you're not
gonna feel better. As the person involved if
you make the callout post But because these people
are like third parties or they're not actually
in the fucking trenches. They're not the people
being harmed Right They feel like they're doing
a duty to the people who are harmed by making
a callout post about the person and it's like
Like it doesn't you're not helping the people
That were harmed or slighted or whatever or slightly
inconvenienced in some cases if anything you
are just like Bring up unnecessary things Under
the guise of being a white knight about being
a savior like No one like I would not feel Seen
if someone made a post talking about someone
who slighted me. Like in my example, it's also,
you know, like NX. Because those usually, they
usually do that. A lot of NX stories. A lot of
NX stories that we will not make an episode about
because... No. No. That's exclusive on our Patreon
for $100. No. Right, right. Sorry, $10 ,000.
True. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. That's
fair. If you want the tfa is ten thousand dollars.
It's already up on our patreon a month a month
for at least a year We want a year subscription
up front. Yeah But anyway, like if if someone
that I told about my ex too Decided because like
my ex, you know Has a little bit of an influence
online um, okay, not a lot, but like, you know
like More than me. Definitely. Like let's say
he's in like the 40k range but If someone came
to me because this was like again years ago,
so it's like is he's probably not even the same
person. Yeah But anyway, if I were to tell somebody
that like oh, hey this X that I have that has
currently 40k followers on Twitter Did this really
awful thing to me and then they decided to go
around and make a call -out post based off of
what I said Keeping me anonymous. I would feel
like my trust was violated, right? Like and if
they're like, oh, but I'm you know, I'm exposing
him. Don't you feel better? I'm warning others
about him and it's like that's not why I told
you that you know You're not Doing this for me
that you're doing this for you because you're
the one getting engagement. I'm not because I'm
like and even then it's like No, it's not gonna
he could have changed by now. Yeah, and even
if he yeah Yeah, and even if he didn't he'd stayed
exactly the same I still wouldn't want that because
it's like he still got success somehow, you know
It's like but also like we I told you these things
in confidence, too. Yeah, it's like actually
Why would you then, like, go and spread that,
like, because you don't have my consent to do
that? And so that makes me feel like I can't
tell you anything. Like, we can't be friends
because I can't tell you anything in confidence
without you feeling like I can profit off of
this. That's not a win. And especially like,
like, obviously his crime was more than this.
But let's say it's like a lesser crime of like,
oh, he stood me up on a date once, you know,
like that's still a shitty thing to do. It was
still like an asshole move. But I don't want
him canceled over that, over being a bad partner
or something. Like, sometimes the crime does
not fit the punishment. So it's like, it's not
that big. Like, I'm not gonna, you're not saving
me. You're not speaking for me on my behalf when
I didn't even want it. Yeah, no one I never asked
you to do it like it would be different if I
asked them to do it but like is that's you know?
vindictive I'm addictive but like I if I didn't
ask and I Didn't like have any consent involved
yeah, that's really shitty to do and like I can't
imagine for the people who like are Like if there's
like a drama where it's like, oh, we're exposing
this person because all the people they worked
with said that they were a shitty person. And
I was one of the people that worked for them.
And I would be like, I was never asked. Where
is my question? Where was my sit down interview?
I've worked for this person. Sure, it was like
for a one off contract, but it was still like
I worked for them for many months. during this
crucial period of this timeline. And I was never
asked. So it's just like, it's just one of those
things where it's like, interesting, interesting
how you don't ask one of the people that were
involved, but you claim all of these people feel
this way. But really, it's just a few people
just complaining. And they're allowed to complain,
but that doesn't make... Doesn't make it true.
It doesn't make it true or it doesn't make it
like worthy enough for a video or like a call
out post or something because it's like Again,
everyone complains about their job. You know,
like I love my job. I love where I work I love
the people I work with but goddamn sometimes
they're fucking stupid. Yep And so I come home
to my wife and I fucking complain. Yes As I should
and then I would go to work and be like, hey,
remember that thing you did last time? How about
we try it this way? You know, like, I would never
say it to their face. I would be like, hey, you
did, like, a minor mistake that really fucked
me over. I wouldn't say fucked, but, you know,
like, you really, like, you did a minor mistake
that really, like, inconvenienced me. So we're
gonna go over it together so that we both know
what's expected of us, you know? Or if there's
something that you don't understand that I said...
We should fix that, you know, like I'm not going
to just leave it alone, you know. Like, yeah.
But again, everyone can complain about their
job, they can complain about clients they don't
like working with, but still work with them because
that's what being a professional is, is doing
your job. Because it's your job. And obviously,
and also because, you know, I don't know any
like I'm talking strictly about the United States
the United States is I think the phrase is uh
will to work um so if you don't want to work
you can leave if you don't want to work you can
quit and you don't have to say Anything to anybody
you can just be like I don't want to do this
anymore You guys treat me shitty or I don't do
this anymore. You don't pay me enough You can
go and you don't have to say anything about it
except for when we talked about worth it work
work experiences, and I just talk shit the entire
time, but right But sometimes you know like at
that point those managers that worked at that
Alamo draft house are public gone Because they're
bad managers they left They were fired or they
went somewhere else. They don't like that Alamo
that I called out in Virginia are probably way
better now. You know, because again, it's been
years and people change. Management changes.
People grow. You can still be like, hey, this
company like sucked to work with. I wouldn't
recommend them. And that's fine. You can say
that without like. Being like, oh, actually,
Disney fucking fucked, you know, like you don't
have to. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's just I feel
like people think that their opinions are going
to. I don't know what the word is, but get them
more authentic. Connection and sometimes it might.
But sometimes it's like, is that really a connection
you want with people? Like that are gonna grow
with you or they gonna grow with you and learn
with you as friends as people that are in your
life or they just there because right now you're
doing something that's popular and Yes, or like
hating on somebody that's popular which is like
a whole like we said very toxic mindset to have
but then as soon as like Just like the internet
does it turns its back on you in like a second.
What makes you think it will happen to you? And
those same people are going to do the same thing
to you. So like the behavior that you're seeing
right now, what makes you think that that's not
going to be the same treatment that you get?
Because people on the internet are so easily
swayed that it's like authenticity almost it
doesn't even reach anymore. Yeah. So like like
not to mention like if someone came to me like
we were just like hanging out and they were like,
oh my god, I ruined like So many artists lives
with like call -outs because they were terrible
people. I would be like noted Yeah, I'm not gonna
be your friend anymore because I'm an artist.
Yeah, you know like it's not I'm because at that
point I could complain about anything and they
could make a cobble out post about it like remove
context remove Nuances remove the fact that like,
you know I don't I have a full -time job on top
of freelancing, you know, like it's not like
like remove context in order to paint me as someone
who Doesn't talk to their clients or is slow
with updates and it's like like No, I'm not going
to be your fucking friend anymore. No. Especially
if you parade it around like a fucking peacock.
Right. Like it's this huge badge of honor and
it's just like, no, that's fucking weird that
you are so proud of the fact that you've ruined
so many artists' career. Badge of dishonor. No,
for real. Dishonor, honestly. Because for me
too, I'd be like, hmm. Now I'm thinking that
if I say anything to you or like if I piss you
off like yeah No, no, no, I'm a ride or die.
Like I'm gonna oh your secrets are safe with
it. Ah I'm pretty sure your rider died with these
people too or at one point something and like
There's no privacy anymore in the world and there's
no like it's so hard to find on authentic friendships
and relationships now. Yeah because of that because
people feel like they have a sense of power over
others and rather than seeing us all as equals
and seeing us all as people who are flawed or
are gonna make mistakes and are gonna do stupid
things and you know whatever the reason is like
just being like giving people like you said the
grace and the kindness to Change and to learn
and if you really concerned about that person
Like again with like people that are talking
about people's health online You're really concerned
reach out to them personally reach out to people
that are in their real life That can maybe help
like I know it happened to one of the creators.
I won't say names but Like somebody had reached
out and then they got To go into like therapy
and got help But that was because they contacted
people in their real lives that helped them get
to that point and then when they came back on
the internet It was like a whole relapse. It
just yeah and that those real friendships that
really tried to help this person this person
was so So interested in the internet that they
are completely blind to what their friends were
telling them and really trying to help them mm
-hmm because they wanted that attention. And
I think the society is so attention -starved
when you're chronically online that you have
to build a community around yourself because
you want to feel like you're wanted and you want
to feel like you're needed. And like, at the
end of the day, you're alone with yourself. It
sounds really bad, but it's not. At the end of
the day, you need to be your own best friend.
Everybody says that, but The right people will
find you when you know how to love yourself and
when you know how to work on yourself and acknowledge
things that you've done and Sit there and go
no that makes sense. Like I I'm gonna make note
of that and I'm gonna try harder like It's not
about hate and guilt and shame. It's about it
should be about love and patience and kindness
and and change But it's Nobody wants to see it
that way. Yeah. And that's the problem. Sorry,
I had to drink because I was like, oh, my throat.
Talking for too long. Talking for too long. I
don't know how people do this. We were on a call
when you were doing your recording and you were
like. No, I never like I was telling my wife
about it and I was just like. Oh my god, I don't
know how these fucking people do it for so long
and it's like and and like the thing is we do
like an hour long recording for these podcasts
Yeah, but it's like but because we like take
turns it's not nearly as bad but like just sitting
with you on that one hour Like call just like
talking by myself No, it was really appreciated
especially when I like flubbed lines and I was
like right, you know, like it was great Yes I
was there for support the whole way. Yeah at
this point you should just be like my Was it
called like audio director or something like
the person that just sits in during calls and
gives direction I was gonna be like soccer mom.
You doing great, sweetie. Ah, you call that a
foul Ref get over here. I need to talk to you
Honestly, yeah, so I think In closing because
I know we've been chatting for a while We we
seem to have a lot of the same topic requests
or topics that are voted on In the discord that
I have for like close friends And it's a lot
of like internet culture internet What is the
word? Internet etiquette. That's the word I was
looking for. And I think because people talk
about it, but I don't think they talk about it
a lot of times in a really real, raw, authentic
way in terms of really getting down to the nitty
gritty, which I feel like we... We kind of do.
We try to. I'm sure there are other podcasts
and other people that talk about it more. And
if you guys have any recommendations on podcasts
that have similar topics to ours, I would love
for you to leave them in the comments and let
me know so I can check them out and support them.
But yeah, it's more just because it's so prevalent
and there's always something to talk about when
it comes to internet culture because the world
is running on the internet right now. So, but
my honest thoughts or what I've, what I've said
every time is just try your best to sit with
yourself, self -reflect, see things from others
point of views as well, and not just assume that
you're always right. And, you know, living in
a victim mindset, like my uncle, it's not healthy
and it's sad because then you isolate yourself
from the world as you get older and people don't
want to be around you as much. You don't want
that. You want people to know that you're adaptable
and that you're somebody that they can talk to,
that you can have a conversation with. It's all
about being willing to change and being willing
to adapt and listen and communicate and not just
always have to be right. And that's my final
thought. Nice. I agree with all of that. Yes.
You can't just steal. You can't just copy me.
I copy you entirely. You can't just say D, all
of the above game. Yes, I can. And you or else
you'll have to make a call up video about it.
OK, well, my thoughts, you know, like D, all
of the above plus. Plus. Plus my own thoughts.
Like there's always going to be two sides to
every story. Always be aware of the fact that,
you know, some people will omit things in order
to make the argument seem better for their side.
Yeah. For those of you who, you know, want to
be a voice for the victims, think for a second
a little bit more about how the victims would
feel or if you're even speaking for all of them
or just a choice few. Right. And to like divulge
that. Also, just like as Rain was talking about
earlier, it just puts some positivity out in
the world. If you see someone wearing really
cool earrings, talk to them about it. You don't
have to scream out of the car like she does.
Because if you're like me and you're normal,
you can just be like, oh, I like your hair as
you walk by, you know, it's not you don't have
to, you know, make it big, big deal. But it's
not my fault that I'm eccentric, whatever it
is. You were just you were raised that way. Anyway,
I suppose, yeah, you just like you just came
out like that. You can't scream out the car door.
That's mine. I've trademarked it. Oh, I'm so
sorry. Yeah, yeah, you can't even talk about
it Sorry, you know what just editor bleep bleep
that hole in a pair of conversation now Especially
when I say it Right But anyway serious note is
like there's already so much negativity in the
world So try putting something positive in it
when you can. Even just, you know, like complimenting
your favorite artist's artwork under their posts,
or just like a kind little comment to your favorite
writer, to your favorite creator can really make
their day. You may think that they don't see
it, but... I promise you that they probably do.
And they think about that really kind word that
you said. But yeah. And to read out, like honestly,
if you feel like you've hurt somebody and you're
too embarrassed or ashamed to reach out and apologize.
I would say take the chance and apologize, like
own it more than likely that person's going to
appreciate and accept that apology. and move
on from it if they don't like if they want to
live and be angry at you for the rest of their
lives at least you owned it and at least you
apologized and took ownership of you know somebody
else's hurt that you even if you indirectly caused
it you know it's it's good practice to really
see things and go wow like like my friend like
i said reach out apologize for your side of things
they can either Give their side and apologize
to and you could have a good closure or they
could just be like, yeah fuck you and But yeah,
I would encourage people to actually try like
yeah and not to feel ashamed of that It's it's
a good positive thing to understand when you've
done something that hurts hurt somebody else
and reach out and apologize to them And also
just like definitely put those podcasts In the
comments about that better similar to us Give
them a little shadow give them a little attention
and also if you have any topics that you guys
would be interested in hearing our perspective
on Also flood those in the comments and don't
forget to insult me make me cry Gabe make me
feel things Yeah, we got to have the good balance,
you know, we got to have the negatives in the
positives Gabe is chaotic evil. Yeah, so every
so for every negative comment, I'm expecting
a like on this video as well. I will be counting.
I will be holding accountable. I will find your
IP address and send the letter. Oh, my God. Oh.
But yeah, insult me like the video. Any other
closing thoughts before I just. Well, I'll just
say thank you guys for watching I do have a patreon
patreon .com slash song of brain If you think
remember ten thousand dollars, we'll talk shit
about our exes. Oh my god. Yeah, don't forget
about that. That's totally gays doing now No,
I'll do it. Fuck it Oh, I'll drop names, too.
You want names? OK. In our job podcast. Hey,
I didn't say the name of any of the managers.
You said the name of the company. That's a no.
But anyway, anyway, you guys will be back soon.
And like I said, I'm going to try to post at
least one podcast a month with my full time job.
Everything is going on so that I can have a good
backlog. So. This one's probably coming out in
at like maybe like a month after it was recorded
or two So just keep you know, keep tuning in
let us know which ones you like versus which
ones you think could be better Constructive feedback
is always great. Um, if you just are here to
be an asshole like go do something with your
life and think about your choices. So that way
we get engagement and then move on with your
life. Like literally go do something better with
your life than just sit here and be hateful for
no reason. Like I feel bad for you. Put love
into the world, put positivity into the world,
and everybody make sure you stay hydrated, stay
healthy, and we'll talk to you again soon. Goodbye.
Bye.