WEBVTT

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Hello and welcome back to Real Talk with Rayne.

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I am joined once again with the best boy, Gabe.

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Oh, that's me, I'm best boy. Today we are going

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to cover jobs that we've worked that have changed

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us as people. And nice way to say jobs that we've

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worked that may or may not be terrible. Not name

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dropping any jobs, but I'm sure that we can for

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those jobs that are. a little more common hint

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at what kind of jobs they are. Oh, I'm going

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to be name dropping for sure. You're like, no,

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I'm going to spill out the tea. Because I have

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like positive and negative work experiences,

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so I feel like I should name drop them and just.

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Very true. Would you like to start us off? Sure.

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I'll probably tell my stories like chronologically,

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but do it. I'm here to listen. OK, you can we

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can switch between. Stories if you want, but

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so The worst place we're gonna start off great

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with the worst place that I've ever worked Do

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you okay? Have you heard of the place called

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the Alamo draft house? No, I have not okay. So

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the Alamo draft house is a concept of a movie

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theater and a restaurant so You would be able

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to watch any kind of movie that is available

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in any movie theater, as well as be able to order

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like a burger or nachos or like anything outside

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of just popcorn that you would usually get at

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a like an AMC or something like that. So it was

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a full on restaurant service, restaurant service

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on top of being at a movie theater, which is

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a great concept, very interesting, probably great.

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for the customer but as working for it was not

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that great because basically not only would we

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be paid as waiters so we would be paid under

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minimum wage but we would also be responsible

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for cleaning up the theaters which is not what

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a server does so that's fun but outside of like

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payment because I was like in community college

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at the time. So I had classes like two days a

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week and like little blocks. And those were the

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only days that I would get off of work was to

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just to attend class. And then they would be

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like, OK, so you can do all the other days. Right.

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And I'm like, OK, sure. But the Alamo Draft House

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in Woodbridge, Virginia, because we're going

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to expose those, was severely understaffed and

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completely overworked to the point where not

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only were these servers assigned theaters, so

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I would be assigned theater four for the entire

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night, I would also have to be a food runner

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for other theaters at the same time. So bigger

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theaters, I would have to work on top of and

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keep in charge of my own tables in my own theater

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as well. And it got so bad that I literally broke

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down crying in the middle of the shift. Like

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I had, this was like the second job I've ever

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worked and I had to go into the family bathroom

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and cry because I was so stressed out. I was

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so tired. I only had two days off and that was

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just to go to class and do classwork. I would

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get home at 2 a .m. because the theater would

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close at 11. And it got so bad. Like I'd like

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literally left for a break or a lunch to go outside

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and like to cool off. Like literally one of the

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managers was like who saw me crying was like,

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do you need to go outside? You can go outside.

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He was nice. He was a nice man. He was the only

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good manager there. And he wasn't even he was

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like on loan or something. But anyway, I literally

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went outside. one of my shifts and I called my

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mom crying and I was like, I don't know if I

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can work this. I don't know if I can do this.

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This is really stressful. And my mom was just

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like, leave. You don't have to work. You don't

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have to work right now. You should focus on school

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anyway. You should just quit. And I was like,

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OK, I'll think on it. And then literally that

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morning, the next morning where I had like. Another

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shift. I was like, I called them and I was like,

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I'm not coming in today. I can't do this anymore.

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This is stressful. I'm sorry. But I quit. And

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the server manager was like, are you sure? Are

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you really sure? And I'm like, yeah, a little.

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And he says, can you just take the day off today

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and think on it and call me tomorrow? Because

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I had another shift after that, because, of course,

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I did. And I was like, OK. So I thought on it

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for about two seconds. And then the next day

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I called him again. It was like, yeah, I'm not

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coming in. And he's OK. And that was it. That

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was the entire conversation. The next time, like

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I had to go in to get my check, my final check.

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And it was a little embarrassing, but I was I

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was in and out in under two minutes. It wasn't

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even that bad. But they were like, oh, what are

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you doing now? And I'm like, nothing. Not working

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here. Not working here. Bye. See you. Thanks

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for paying me. Yeah. And like, obviously, so

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many server jobs are exactly like that, but that

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was like the worst server job that I've had.

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And I've had other server jobs since then. So

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I can say this for a fact, but that Alamo draft

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house specifically in Woodbridge, Virginia was

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the worst place I've ever done a serving job

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at. just because everything was like everyone

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was understaffed. Everyone was running around

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literally in my first day, like on my first two

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training days. I was sweating so bad. I was chugging

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water like I drank maybe five cups of water during

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my entire four hour shift because they just had

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me running around so much and I was just sweating

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and hot and disgusting. And then I still came

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back to work the next day. So I wasn't even like

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desperate for money or anything. I was just like,

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I don't know what I was thinking. I was just

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like, I guess I should have a job. And that's

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what he did. You're being reliable. Yeah. That

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was yeah, we're starting with a great bar. Worst

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job I've ever had that one. Let's say for me,

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the worst job I've ever had was I don't want

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to name drop. just because they're not the company

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itself. I have mixed feelings about because it

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was one of the first ABA jobs I had as an ABA

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therapist. So if you don't know what ABA is it's

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applied behavioral analysis and it's for majority

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of the time it's for kiddos on the ASD spectrum.

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So autism spectrum disorder spectrum. And it's

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where like a lot of times I worked in early intervention

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where the kiddos are anywhere from I want to

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say it just like zero to three where early intervention

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is the thing. And then they get regular ABA behavior

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technician stuff at like age four and up. Every

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company was different, but this company was,

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I believe the early intervention was zero to

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five years old. And I just started working there

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and a lot of Admittedly, a lot of my ABA experience

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is very similar to a lot of other behavior technicians'

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experience in ABA because it has a very high

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turnover rate. Staff are not, they're not really

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taken care of in a lot of the companies that

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have ABA services, but they expect you to obviously

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be on your best A game for the clients. However,

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clients can cancel on you. Last minute and you

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don't get paid at all for that session So if

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you had one session that day that was two hours

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or you go to the house and you hang out and you

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do programs so programs could be anything that

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are like match the colors or Working on speech.

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Can you say dog? And then you go dog and like

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try to help them depending on what they needed

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Depending on their skill level and the program

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requirements of what we were implementing I had

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this one family that I just got so angry at.

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I was livid because I don't have kids myself,

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but I have a very maternal, almost a primal maternal

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instinct. I don't have kids for multitudes of

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reasons, but we won't get into that right now.

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But I... My dad's a pediatrician. So I grew up

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watching him take care of little kiddos as well.

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And I just, I love them. They're the cutest and

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they're so much fun. And so I loved working with

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the little kiddos, but there was this, these

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parents are always the ones that were the problem

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when it came. It was never the kids. It's always

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the parents. And the parents always needed way

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more training than the kids did. And a lot of

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old ABA companies that had old values would say

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that they didn't. But then as soon as you got

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hired, of course they would hire you right away

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because they were desperate for help because

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people were seeing behind the smoke and mirrors

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all the time. And so they would hire you and

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then you would really see like you'd go into

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a session with the BCBA, which is the board certified

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behavioral analysis or behavioral analyst, sorry.

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Those are the ones that get the master's degree

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and then they oversee the behavior technicians.

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And then you can do a test to get like a registered

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behavior technician license, but they're separate.

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So the behavior technicians are ones that don't

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have the license and the registered behavior

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technicians are the ones that do. They're the

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same thing except registered behavior technicians

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are paid, I think slightly more and they get

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different cases. All of that aside, I did ABA

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for five years off and on because I tried to

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find different jobs in different companies. This

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is why a lot of my jobs were like hop one, two,

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three, four into like different companies because

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I didn't feel comfortable staying in these ABA

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companies that had values that really just felt

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wrong to me. So what was really the straw that

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broke the camel's back was I was working with

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this kiddo. And I believe she was between four

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and five. And she was, she was so smart. She

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was amazing. She was so much fun to hang out

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with. She was just very silly, just full of life.

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And dad was, it just, it makes me so upset thinking

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about it. So he was like, yeah, I just, I need

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you to cure my daughter. And I was like, that's

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not how that works. That's for one, what? And

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for two, huh? Yeah. Like, I haven't been diagnosed

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as on the spectrum, but I'm pretty sure I am

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just somewhere on the spectrum, just undiagnosed.

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And I'm pretty sure, my therapist is pretty sure

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as well, but she's not authorized to diagnose

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me. But no, I just, it made me so mad because

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she tried so hard and. He would treat it as if

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the autism was like a disease that could be lured.

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And he's, I want to be, I want her to be, he

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literally said, I want her to be normal and be

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in the normal classes. And I was like, I literally,

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can you excuse me for a minute? And walked out

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of the room and you can hear how heightened I'm

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getting right now because it makes me so mad

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when I think about this man. I don't. No, I try

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not to think people are malicious on purpose.

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I don't think he meant it that way. I'm sure

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he loves his child. I just, okay. So I texted

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the BCBA, my supervisor, and I was like letting

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them know what he was saying. And I was like,

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I'm getting really uncomfortable. And they were

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like, just try to push through the rest of the

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session. I was like, okay. So I try to push through

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the rest of the session and We're sitting down

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for it was either it was like lunch or snack

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time. It was a while ago so I don't remember

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exactly what time it was, but she was sitting

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down to eat and Dad had a cup of juice and he

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was holding it out in front of her and he was

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saying tell me juice and She was saying juju

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juju, but she wasn't getting the this part so

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He kept holding it in front of her until she

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said, juice. And then as soon as she got it,

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he was like, okay, say it again. Oh my God. And

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he made her say it like six times and she started

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like getting really frustrated and crying. And

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I was like, she already said it. Yeah. And like,

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Party Me was also like, what are you doing? In

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your role as a BT, you cannot overstep and tell

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the parent what to do. You can model it for them

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by saying or like showing them, but it's very

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specific in ABA. Like you can't be like, oh,

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you can't do that or oh, that's not how you do

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it. That's for the BCBA to do because they train

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the parents. Yeah. And so it's so frustrating

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just sitting there. I'm like stewing and like

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just watching this. And it's making me so upset

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that at one point I was like, you could just

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give it to her. Like, it just like the nicest

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voice I could. But she's close enough, like she

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didn't say juice like multiple times, but she

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got so close. And at one point he's, but I want

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her to be able to say it right. I want her to

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be able to say the word so that she could be

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in normal classes. And like, can you stop saying

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that for the - Right. My God. Like, and so she

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finally - Gets the drink that she's asking for

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and she's just not interested anymore is oh now

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you don't want it. I'm like I'm like if you drilled

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me to say juice eight times before I could drink

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because I'm thirsty I Wouldn't want it either

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just to spite you like yeah, I I'm with you girl

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like I was pissed so I just felt really uncomfortable

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and really upset. And unfortunately it's like,

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you get a degree in human services. Like these

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are the kinds of jobs that you work. And I have

00:15:49.429 --> 00:15:52.470
way more, I have so many ABA stories I could

00:15:52.470 --> 00:15:54.029
tell, but it's just going to put me in a bad

00:15:54.029 --> 00:15:55.669
mood. So I'll just, I'll start with this one

00:15:55.669 --> 00:15:57.509
and probably end with this one with ABA unless

00:15:57.509 --> 00:16:00.889
something else comes to my mind later. But this

00:16:00.889 --> 00:16:06.460
ABA one was like, it, it. grind in my gears for

00:16:06.460 --> 00:16:09.919
the rest of my professional career. I was sitting

00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:13.080
there. I'm, I don't want to go as far as to call

00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:20.100
this abuse, but. Definitely not good. Right.

00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:22.340
And then at the same time I'm getting ready and

00:16:22.340 --> 00:16:27.320
this is, I'm getting heated. Like shaking. I'm

00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:30.200
so mad thinking about this. And also not, it

00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.240
wasn't just dad, but it was mom too. Like when

00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:35.500
she would sit down to do an activity with mom

00:16:35.500 --> 00:16:38.279
and again I only worked with her like a couple

00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:40.740
times and I saw this behavior from the parents

00:16:40.740 --> 00:16:43.639
I wasn't even really I hadn't built rapport with

00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:46.500
her yet. It was like the first week of working

00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:51.840
with this kiddo and mom like when she was trying

00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:55.600
to play a game with the little girl the little

00:16:55.600 --> 00:17:00.159
girl got upset and mom would smack her hand and

00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:06.079
She would start crying And I was like, I have

00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:10.059
a family emergency. I need to go. I mean, go.

00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:14.940
And so I left very shaken, just like I am now.

00:17:15.339 --> 00:17:18.200
And of course it's, it's not as violent as it

00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:19.819
could be, but I'm like, you're doing that in

00:17:19.819 --> 00:17:23.339
front of me though. What are you doing when I'm

00:17:23.339 --> 00:17:28.099
not here? Yeah. I don't want to think that way.

00:17:28.259 --> 00:17:30.940
I don't want to spiral and catastrophize it because

00:17:30.940 --> 00:17:33.480
I don't know. I don't see them when I'm not there,

00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:37.940
but it just, as somebody who had similar treatment

00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:41.160
growing up as well, it hit a nerve with me as

00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:46.539
well. And so when I told my supervisor, they

00:17:46.539 --> 00:17:49.299
were like, unfortunately we can't report that

00:17:49.299 --> 00:17:53.980
because that's not really considered like. abuse

00:17:53.980 --> 00:17:58.099
that's not really considered X, Y, Z. And I was

00:17:58.099 --> 00:18:01.500
like, I do not feel comfortable going in this

00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:04.680
home anymore. No, I wouldn't either. Yeah, I'm

00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:07.160
like, I cannot do this. I don't feel right. And

00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:11.180
I think somebody, namely you, supervisor, you

00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:12.940
need to go in there and work with parents more

00:18:12.940 --> 00:18:18.329
because they clearly don't understand. how autism

00:18:18.329 --> 00:18:20.569
works. They don't understand their child and

00:18:20.569 --> 00:18:24.150
they have very unrealistic expectations of thinking

00:18:24.150 --> 00:18:26.950
that a behavior therapist is gonna come in and

00:18:26.950 --> 00:18:30.210
beat it out of your child. Like, it's not gonna

00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:33.670
happen. And they even, I swear to God, were like,

00:18:33.809 --> 00:18:35.829
our program doesn't do that, but there are some

00:18:35.829 --> 00:18:40.210
programs. And I was like, what? Excuse me, I'm

00:18:40.210 --> 00:18:42.829
sorry. This is my one day notice. I gotta go.

00:18:43.329 --> 00:18:48.019
I quit and I was out. I was outy. I was like,

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:51.500
no, because ABA can do such wonderful things

00:18:51.500 --> 00:18:55.000
for people, but it also can really hurt if it's

00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:57.099
wrong, if it's done the wrong way. I've had a

00:18:57.099 --> 00:18:59.980
lot of people tell me that they had ABA as a

00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:03.019
kid or they have siblings that had ABA as a kid.

00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:04.859
And when I had mentioned, like I had a college

00:19:04.859 --> 00:19:06.740
class, I had mentioned that I had been an ABA

00:19:06.740 --> 00:19:10.240
therapist and they They like hated me just because

00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:13.680
I was an ABA therapist for a while and saying

00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:17.440
ABA is dog training for kids. And I'm like, I

00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:25.259
can't believe people that it's so bad. That it's

00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:28.579
gotten that reputation because essentially a

00:19:28.579 --> 00:19:32.579
lot of places will like, Oh, if you get five,

00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:36.680
you get like a cookie or something, or we're

00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:39.869
going to work for. this. So sometimes it comes

00:19:39.869 --> 00:19:42.670
across that way to people, for sure. I do think

00:19:42.670 --> 00:19:45.329
that sometimes the way that programs are implemented

00:19:45.329 --> 00:19:47.369
can really help. Potty training, if they go to

00:19:47.369 --> 00:19:48.670
the bathroom, all by themselves, you're like,

00:19:48.730 --> 00:19:50.509
Oh my god, yes, we're gonna party. We're gonna

00:19:50.509 --> 00:19:52.890
cook it. We're gonna have a pizza party. We're

00:19:52.890 --> 00:19:55.589
gonna do whatever you want. We watch Spongebob.

00:19:55.829 --> 00:19:59.109
Like, we can, there was one kid that loved gummy

00:19:59.109 --> 00:20:03.089
bear and he, he played it on repeat, but like

00:20:03.089 --> 00:20:05.710
500 different versions of it overlapping at the

00:20:05.710 --> 00:20:09.130
same time. Just non -stop and I was like I need

00:20:09.130 --> 00:20:15.089
to go home This is like a kind of torture I feel

00:20:15.089 --> 00:20:19.630
like But it I after that I was just like I don't

00:20:19.630 --> 00:20:22.250
have a heart for this anymore not it's not consistent

00:20:22.250 --> 00:20:25.650
work one and two You deal with these parents

00:20:25.650 --> 00:20:28.410
that are like fix it. I'm like, there's nothing

00:20:28.410 --> 00:20:31.990
to be fixed Okay, that's not why we're here.

00:20:31.990 --> 00:20:34.910
It's not a fixable thing It's a different way

00:20:34.910 --> 00:20:36.869
of thinking. The brain is wired differently.

00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:40.549
That's not something that's bad. It's not curable.

00:20:40.869 --> 00:20:43.930
You just need to learn how to be less of an insufferable

00:20:43.930 --> 00:20:48.269
asshole about it. Yeah. And learn how to communicate

00:20:48.269 --> 00:20:50.329
with your child who just thinks differently than

00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:54.849
you do. God forbid people grow up having different

00:20:54.849 --> 00:20:57.809
thoughts and opinions and have different processing

00:20:57.809 --> 00:21:00.250
times or different skill levels than others.

00:21:00.329 --> 00:21:03.759
Like we're all unique and different. Because

00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.759
that's the beauty of being unique and different.

00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:08.660
If we were all meant to just be the same, we

00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:11.259
would all be the same. We'd be robots. Exactly.

00:21:12.059 --> 00:21:16.319
But no, and it's so that that frustrated me so

00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:20.700
much and really upset me to the point where it

00:21:20.700 --> 00:21:24.180
was that plus not caring about the staff, not

00:21:24.180 --> 00:21:27.859
having good enough support in terms of like you

00:21:27.859 --> 00:21:30.240
couldn't make a full time job out of that. Because

00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:33.000
if somebody canceled, screw you, you just lost.

00:21:34.660 --> 00:21:37.779
They'd be like $28 an hour, but you'd only get

00:21:37.779 --> 00:21:39.759
six hours a day because it'd be like two hours

00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:43.700
with each client and then driving. And if somebody

00:21:43.700 --> 00:21:47.460
canceled, that sucks. Not everywhere paid 28,

00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:49.900
but a lot of places did because they thought

00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:53.519
that it would bring more people in. And it did

00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:57.400
until people were like, okay, but this is literally

00:21:57.400 --> 00:22:05.410
like a bait and switch. Yep. So quench my thirst

00:22:05.410 --> 00:22:09.529
because I was getting heated. I have my tea and

00:22:09.529 --> 00:22:11.549
I'm sipping it. It's cold tea, but it's still

00:22:11.549 --> 00:22:15.910
good. But yeah, that for me was like, I just

00:22:15.910 --> 00:22:20.789
can't with. Yeah. I love that ABA is trying to

00:22:20.789 --> 00:22:24.970
be better and that the community itself, they're

00:22:24.970 --> 00:22:27.789
trying to be, there are good ABA companies out

00:22:27.789 --> 00:22:30.549
there. There was one that I worked for absolutely

00:22:30.549 --> 00:22:33.269
loved them. They were the best. They had all

00:22:33.269 --> 00:22:36.710
of the right ethics in place, but they didn't

00:22:36.710 --> 00:22:40.089
have security for the staff. So that is why it

00:22:40.089 --> 00:22:43.329
grew. So not to say there aren't good companies.

00:22:43.410 --> 00:22:46.950
There's not good people that are in ABA, but

00:22:46.950 --> 00:22:54.349
it's heavily outweighed and outnumbered by places

00:22:54.349 --> 00:22:59.509
that are just like It's become such a common

00:22:59.509 --> 00:23:01.890
Diagnose II in the world that it's oh, we're

00:23:01.890 --> 00:23:05.829
just gonna make a company and Just figure it

00:23:05.829 --> 00:23:10.369
out as we go and it's like Some people really

00:23:10.369 --> 00:23:12.329
shouldn't even if they have the qualifications

00:23:12.329 --> 00:23:18.609
they should do more research yeah, no, so it's

00:23:18.609 --> 00:23:21.470
I The only other one I can think of is it was

00:23:21.470 --> 00:23:23.450
very brief. I worked there for a couple days

00:23:23.450 --> 00:23:26.779
because the BCBA that it was also the owner of

00:23:26.779 --> 00:23:29.559
the company. It was a very new company. And she

00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:31.079
didn't tell me anything about the client that

00:23:31.079 --> 00:23:33.980
we were going to go see. The client was 16. She

00:23:33.980 --> 00:23:37.059
was nonverbal. And she had a lot of behaviors

00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:41.660
that were violent. And this girl is like tall.

00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:44.680
She's like tall as hell. She's strong. She's

00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:48.220
a strong girl. I basically literally got my hair

00:23:48.220 --> 00:23:52.339
like she out of nowhere just was overstimulated.

00:23:52.380 --> 00:23:55.400
I think she was just having a moment and She,

00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:58.160
like, put her hands through my hair and grabbed

00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:02.400
them, like, at the root. Oh my God. By the fistful

00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:05.299
and just would not let go. This is the first

00:24:05.299 --> 00:24:07.460
time I'm meeting this client within the hour

00:24:07.460 --> 00:24:11.839
I'm there. Holy shit. And I just had to sit there

00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.920
calmly while my boss was, like, trying to pry

00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:18.980
her off of me. It's not her fault. She didn't

00:24:18.980 --> 00:24:22.000
understand that she was doing anything bad. But

00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:27.450
it's like, you... need to warn somebody. Oh yeah,

00:24:27.470 --> 00:24:29.269
that's happened with a few people. I'm like,

00:24:30.029 --> 00:24:34.230
what do you mean? She gets overstimulated with

00:24:34.230 --> 00:24:39.170
new people. I'm like, wouldn't that be something

00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:42.470
you would tell somebody before they go into the

00:24:42.470 --> 00:24:45.190
home? And then this lady had the nerve to ask

00:24:45.190 --> 00:24:47.410
me, so do you feel comfortable going by yourself

00:24:47.410 --> 00:24:52.849
tomorrow? No, no, I do not. No, I do not. If

00:24:52.849 --> 00:24:55.450
I'm going to get attacked by a giant 16 year

00:24:55.450 --> 00:24:58.630
old who's going to pull my hair out of my head.

00:24:59.289 --> 00:25:03.809
No. No, I'm not comfortable going by myself.

00:25:04.410 --> 00:25:10.589
What the hell? That's insane. Yeah. So left that

00:25:10.589 --> 00:25:14.009
job, another ABA job that didn't last long. But

00:25:14.009 --> 00:25:16.670
again, it's things like that where ABA has such

00:25:16.670 --> 00:25:20.210
potential to be a great career for people, but

00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:24.180
All of these experiences that people have are

00:25:24.180 --> 00:25:27.839
like, it's not sustainable and people are not

00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:31.160
taking the right, they're not taking the right

00:25:31.160 --> 00:25:34.380
steps to actually make an ABA company that's

00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:39.279
worth anything. And the ones that are have wait

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:41.480
lists that are like two years long for kiddos

00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:46.079
to even get services. So it's just really frustrating.

00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:50.480
That's end rant. But that's my main frustration

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.299
with the jobs that I've worked and why it was

00:25:52.299 --> 00:25:54.700
so difficult. Like when I was doing RSP, I was

00:25:54.700 --> 00:25:58.940
doing a lot of ABA and that inconsistency was

00:25:58.940 --> 00:26:04.599
just not helpful. So all in all, it was all a

00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:08.599
learning experience, but it just was too much

00:26:08.599 --> 00:26:11.339
and don't think I'd ever go back to that ever,

00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:15.039
honestly. I wouldn't blame you. And that's like

00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:18.180
another thing is that I've learned is like, because

00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:21.359
I've had so many different jobs in so many different

00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:26.539
sectors to figure out what you are OK with doing.

00:26:27.019 --> 00:26:30.359
Like, I can't do food service unless the management

00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:34.740
team is literally really nice to me and very

00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:37.759
caring. But I feel like I'm OK with stocking

00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:40.160
and retail and all that kind of stuff. Yeah,

00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:43.960
it's not bad. No, it's not that bad. But it is

00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:48.859
bad transition. If if it's an overnight shift,

00:26:48.859 --> 00:26:53.920
I found out because I used to work as a overnight

00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:58.779
stalker at Wal -Mart local to me. So I won't

00:26:58.779 --> 00:27:02.960
say where it is, obviously. But it was the first

00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:08.220
it was the job that basically allowed me to move

00:27:08.220 --> 00:27:11.559
to the state that I'm in now, which is a red

00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:15.279
state. For those of obviously no one else will

00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.359
know but you but so the state I live in is very

00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:22.299
red and as I mentioned in the last episode I

00:27:22.299 --> 00:27:30.019
am trans I am queer and At first I was very concerned

00:27:30.019 --> 00:27:35.480
about other people knowing that I was trans Because

00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:38.119
you've heard all this stuff about red states

00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:41.829
red states are usually the loudest when it comes

00:27:41.829 --> 00:27:47.269
to being against LGBT plus people and queer people.

00:27:47.369 --> 00:27:54.230
But because I am passing as a man in my. But

00:27:54.230 --> 00:27:57.210
because a lot of my documents are still female

00:27:57.210 --> 00:28:01.869
sex, when I applied to the Walmart position and

00:28:01.869 --> 00:28:05.490
it asked me what gender I was on the application,

00:28:06.250 --> 00:28:09.930
I put prefer not to say. because it's none of

00:28:09.930 --> 00:28:11.869
their business. I don't think they should know

00:28:11.869 --> 00:28:15.150
anyway. But apparently that is, for everyone

00:28:15.150 --> 00:28:17.710
else out there, this is important to know, especially

00:28:17.710 --> 00:28:21.490
if you're queer. That is apparently a, almost

00:28:21.490 --> 00:28:23.609
a, it's not a red flag, but it's almost like

00:28:23.609 --> 00:28:27.769
a dog whistle. It's a dog whistle for management

00:28:27.769 --> 00:28:30.869
to be like, oh, this person is queer. And the

00:28:30.869 --> 00:28:34.170
reason why I know that is because while I was

00:28:34.170 --> 00:28:39.190
doing orientation, the HR person of Wal -Mart.

00:28:39.369 --> 00:28:41.349
I think they have a different name, but basically

00:28:41.349 --> 00:28:44.670
HR pulled me aside and was just like, by the

00:28:44.670 --> 00:28:46.809
way, what are your pronouns? And I'm like, oh,

00:28:46.809 --> 00:28:49.549
it's he, him. And he's okay. I wasn't sure because

00:28:49.549 --> 00:28:52.750
you said prefer not to say on the application.

00:28:52.869 --> 00:28:55.369
And I'm like, okay, that's fine. Whatever. I

00:28:55.369 --> 00:28:58.470
don't care if HR knows. Make your applications

00:28:58.470 --> 00:29:01.250
better. No, that's the thing with like job applications

00:29:01.250 --> 00:29:03.529
is they have a lot of little dog whistles like

00:29:03.529 --> 00:29:06.430
that. But apparently that was one of them. So

00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:09.400
Always go for the one with that you're passing

00:29:09.400 --> 00:29:12.619
as. But anyway, yeah, so I think it just it ends

00:29:12.619 --> 00:29:15.339
at HR. Only HR knows they're the only one who

00:29:15.339 --> 00:29:18.519
should know. And I didn't find out until I was

00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:23.640
maybe. Three months, almost two, no, yeah, two

00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:29.480
months into this job. That. Multiple people knew

00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:32.720
that I was transgender and I did not come out

00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:36.240
to them. I did not tell anyone else. And the

00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.440
reason, so it was, there was a manager there,

00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:44.880
her name was Candice, and she is lesbian. She's

00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:48.980
a lesbian and she has a wife. And the HR manager

00:29:48.980 --> 00:29:53.960
went to her and told her, hey, this guy is trans.

00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:56.180
I want you to look out for him in case something

00:29:56.180 --> 00:29:58.619
happens, that kind of stuff. Because I guess

00:29:58.619 --> 00:30:02.619
that's what HR does, is tell the other queer

00:30:02.619 --> 00:30:05.730
people that there's queer people around. Since

00:30:05.730 --> 00:30:09.869
you relate, can you be the bodyguard? Are you

00:30:09.869 --> 00:30:13.650
serious right now? For real. And the thing is,

00:30:13.849 --> 00:30:17.829
she didn't even tell me that that happened. The

00:30:17.829 --> 00:30:21.069
way I found out was through a friend, a coworker

00:30:21.069 --> 00:30:24.109
of mine that I got in close with. His name was

00:30:24.109 --> 00:30:28.089
Brian. He's a great man as a wife and two kids.

00:30:28.130 --> 00:30:31.470
He's a great guy. He, like, pulled me aside while

00:30:31.470 --> 00:30:34.640
we were in the back, putting all the leftover

00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:38.140
stock away. And he was like, Hey, I just want

00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:42.339
you to know that I know that you're trans and

00:30:42.339 --> 00:30:46.460
that I don't think that you're weird or anything

00:30:46.460 --> 00:30:48.319
and that I got your back. I think you're actually

00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:50.660
a really cool dude. I think you're probably the

00:30:50.660 --> 00:30:54.160
coolest guy here. You got my support. I think

00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:57.470
you're awesome. And I'm like, Like a first I'm

00:30:57.470 --> 00:30:59.210
like touched because I'm just like, wow, I'm

00:30:59.210 --> 00:31:03.410
a cool guy. That's so awesome. And then I and

00:31:03.410 --> 00:31:05.369
then the first thing I asked him is who told

00:31:05.369 --> 00:31:09.450
you? And he was like, Candice told me we were

00:31:09.450 --> 00:31:14.250
believing in you, Candice. No, for real. And

00:31:14.250 --> 00:31:17.009
isn't just Candice who knew apparently all the

00:31:17.009 --> 00:31:19.970
other managers that work overnight knew as well.

00:31:19.970 --> 00:31:23.329
I don't know through her or through HR or whatever,

00:31:23.670 --> 00:31:27.579
but all of upper management knew. who then told

00:31:27.579 --> 00:31:33.180
Brian and Brian, Brian apologized for this because

00:31:33.180 --> 00:31:35.960
he didn't he didn't think about it until he saw

00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:39.640
my reaction to basically everyone knowing that

00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:43.000
I was trans. But he told another coworker, Isaac,

00:31:43.019 --> 00:31:45.859
who I'm still friends with. He's probably the

00:31:45.859 --> 00:31:48.579
only friend that I kept after I left that job.

00:31:49.140 --> 00:31:52.220
And he was like he was telling Isaac that I was

00:31:52.220 --> 00:31:56.640
trans and Isaac was the one who encouraged Brian

00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:03.019
to let me know that other people knew. And it's

00:32:03.019 --> 00:32:05.819
like, it's none of their business. No, it's not.

00:32:05.980 --> 00:32:08.880
It's none of their goddamn business. And I felt

00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:12.960
so violated. But at the same time, I had to give

00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:15.700
them the grace of remember, this is a red state.

00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:19.539
I am probably one of the few trans people that

00:32:19.539 --> 00:32:22.279
they know that is completely transitioned and

00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:26.099
completely masculine. because but it still felt

00:32:26.099 --> 00:32:30.700
so concerning because now I would look at all

00:32:30.700 --> 00:32:32.900
my coworkers and I would be like, I don't know

00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:36.619
who knows. I don't know who knows this big secret

00:32:36.619 --> 00:32:40.559
about me or this big X, like this huge part of

00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:43.539
my identity. And it's a secret like it should

00:32:43.539 --> 00:32:45.519
just be who you are. And it shouldn't have to

00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:48.799
be like a topic of conversation. Like, really,

00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:54.039
it really like it was. Yeah, it was. And. It

00:32:54.039 --> 00:32:57.700
was that was like probably like the biggest thing

00:32:57.700 --> 00:33:01.839
that happened to me while working there. But

00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:07.000
upside down, there was a trans man who worked

00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:11.099
on the shift before my shift. So like on shift

00:33:11.099 --> 00:33:15.920
two, we were shift three. And he and his coworker

00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:19.880
friend, they saw me like pulling down boxes from

00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:23.460
from a pallet to put up in. Bath and body and

00:33:23.460 --> 00:33:26.559
he was like, hey, sorry. This is a weird question.

00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:28.799
Where'd you get your top surgery? And we like

00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:32.839
it was like, okay I'm just the trans guy everyone

00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:39.680
comes to now So Like I told him obviously I like

00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:43.640
oh my god I got it at a hospital in DC and it

00:33:43.640 --> 00:33:46.099
was a blah blah blah and we talked hormones and

00:33:46.099 --> 00:33:52.079
all that stuff and But it was still like so daunting

00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:57.720
because. It was like. Because that wasn't even

00:33:57.720 --> 00:34:00.799
the only question I was asked from it wasn't

00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:03.240
even from the trans man, it was from his sis.

00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.480
I'm assuming says she did. He was presenting

00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:10.519
feminine and but basically his coworker friend

00:34:10.519 --> 00:34:13.320
was like, by the way, how do you feel about bottom

00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:18.510
surgery? And I'm like, you don't ask that. And

00:34:18.510 --> 00:34:22.110
I was like, I don't want it personally. Yeah.

00:34:22.809 --> 00:34:26.650
Like even so, it's no, it's just I don't know.

00:34:27.710 --> 00:34:30.170
Those kinds of questions, I feel like you don't

00:34:30.170 --> 00:34:32.690
ask people unless you're like really close with

00:34:32.690 --> 00:34:40.769
them. Yeah, it was. Crazy to be so exposed, especially

00:34:40.769 --> 00:34:43.190
because it was like, again, the job that got

00:34:43.190 --> 00:34:47.519
me to move to this red state. I didn't know what

00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:49.219
the culture was. I didn't know anything like

00:34:49.219 --> 00:34:55.159
that. But it was, again, both very daunting,

00:34:55.179 --> 00:34:59.880
but also a little reassuring because it was just

00:34:59.880 --> 00:35:04.280
like, oh, OK, so they're not going to pull me

00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:07.260
up by my toes because I'm trans. They're just

00:35:07.260 --> 00:35:09.960
going to be like, OK, I'm going to ask you questions

00:35:09.960 --> 00:35:12.579
that are a little uncomfortable, but you're the

00:35:12.579 --> 00:35:15.849
only person I can ask. It's just like one of

00:35:15.849 --> 00:35:18.050
those things where I'm giving you grace, but

00:35:18.050 --> 00:35:21.329
at the same time it's oh my god Why would you

00:35:21.329 --> 00:35:27.909
do that? Yeah, it's yeah, I just it's I understand

00:35:27.909 --> 00:35:30.110
obviously it's like giving them grace and like

00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:31.929
I can understand that people might be coming

00:35:31.929 --> 00:35:35.289
from a place of genuine curiosity and not meaning

00:35:35.289 --> 00:35:39.710
any harm by it, but I Wouldn't ask any questions

00:35:39.710 --> 00:35:43.289
like that like One of my, one of my, two of my

00:35:43.289 --> 00:35:47.630
besties are actually trans. One I've been friends

00:35:47.630 --> 00:35:50.989
with for over five years in person. We hang out

00:35:50.989 --> 00:35:54.230
almost every single day and I still don't ask

00:35:54.230 --> 00:35:57.530
those kinds of questions. Like I had once when

00:35:57.530 --> 00:35:59.730
we were like on the topic of conversation and

00:35:59.730 --> 00:36:02.989
we were like, it was in the topic of we had little

00:36:02.989 --> 00:36:05.030
cars that were pulling out to get to know each

00:36:05.030 --> 00:36:07.530
other. And it was me, my wife and her. And it

00:36:07.530 --> 00:36:10.900
was all questions about like. insecurities and

00:36:10.900 --> 00:36:13.260
goals and things like that. Cause it's just a

00:36:13.260 --> 00:36:15.219
nice group activity to do at night when you're

00:36:15.219 --> 00:36:18.880
hanging out after a long work week. And I think

00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:21.719
the topic came up and we discussed it, but it

00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:25.599
wasn't like a, I had to know it, but it's for

00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:27.800
me, like it was coming from a place of I don't

00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:29.679
have this experience. So I'm not going to pretend

00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:33.000
like I know. And I'm not going to pretend like.

00:36:33.870 --> 00:36:36.730
anything makes sense to me because it's not my

00:36:36.730 --> 00:36:39.469
lived experience so I'm asking you because you

00:36:39.469 --> 00:36:42.389
have the lived experience and I want to respect

00:36:42.389 --> 00:36:45.590
you and see where you come from and what makes

00:36:45.590 --> 00:36:49.070
you feel more comfortable and in the best way

00:36:49.070 --> 00:36:52.409
that I can understand not being in your situation

00:36:52.409 --> 00:36:55.650
and in your lived experience asking these questions

00:36:55.650 --> 00:37:00.280
and because it's a curiosity but That doesn't

00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:03.119
come up until it's like, you've known this person

00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:05.300
for a long time, you've had deep conversations.

00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:08.480
Like these are deep questions to ask somebody

00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:11.519
that you really need to have rapport and like

00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:17.679
huge, a hugely deep trust of each other to have

00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:20.820
those kinds of conversations. And like my other

00:37:20.820 --> 00:37:23.840
friend who we've been friends for over a decade,

00:37:24.519 --> 00:37:27.139
we only talked about that. probably recently,

00:37:27.460 --> 00:37:31.539
again, and during very intimate and deep conversations

00:37:31.539 --> 00:37:34.019
when I would talk about things that I'm secure

00:37:34.019 --> 00:37:36.360
about or things that we've gone through and those

00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:38.480
kinds of conversations that you have organically

00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:41.360
with friends to help you grow closer. I don't

00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:47.519
understand that, but just like casually. No.

00:37:48.179 --> 00:37:51.889
Yeah. No, thank you. Yeah, not a topic for you.

00:37:51.929 --> 00:37:54.769
Sorry. You're at this package. You need to be

00:37:54.769 --> 00:37:57.409
like this premium package before you can ask

00:37:57.409 --> 00:38:01.969
me those questions. Yeah, I will say it's been

00:38:01.969 --> 00:38:07.090
a good experience for me finding work here in

00:38:07.090 --> 00:38:10.449
this red state as a trans person whose preferred

00:38:10.449 --> 00:38:13.929
name does not look anything like what's on my

00:38:13.929 --> 00:38:17.230
government papers, because in the job that I

00:38:17.230 --> 00:38:21.519
currently have for about I want to say like a

00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:25.400
good month or two, I was going by my government

00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:28.019
name, which isn't what I consider my dead name

00:38:28.019 --> 00:38:30.619
to be. So I wasn't like that upset about it.

00:38:30.619 --> 00:38:32.599
But then I realized, hey, I'm probably going

00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:36.380
to be at this job for a long time and I don't

00:38:36.380 --> 00:38:38.619
want to be called by government name all the

00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:41.679
time. So I gathered the current because this

00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:45.860
was again months in and I was getting to know

00:38:45.860 --> 00:38:49.500
my manager and I really trusted her. And so I

00:38:49.500 --> 00:38:53.739
pulled her aside and I was like, hey, I am trans.

00:38:54.260 --> 00:38:56.719
I go by a different name. Is there any way that

00:38:56.719 --> 00:38:59.820
I can get even just like my name changed on my

00:38:59.820 --> 00:39:03.900
name tag or on my business cards? And she was

00:39:03.900 --> 00:39:07.639
like, yeah, sure, for sure. And he was like,

00:39:07.639 --> 00:39:10.420
I'm going to go talk to H .R. I'm going to go

00:39:10.420 --> 00:39:14.320
tell our executive director and we're going to

00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:19.110
get this figured out and. No one has ever batted

00:39:19.110 --> 00:39:21.789
an eye at the fact that three months in my name

00:39:21.789 --> 00:39:25.190
is now Gabe. No one asked me questions about

00:39:25.190 --> 00:39:28.269
it. No one assumed anything. If anything, they

00:39:28.269 --> 00:39:29.969
were just like, oh, my God, this is so easier

00:39:29.969 --> 00:39:31.670
than your government name. We'll call you Gabe

00:39:31.670 --> 00:39:35.590
forever because my government name is like super

00:39:35.590 --> 00:39:39.110
Irish and Gaelic. So it's like vowels and consonants

00:39:39.110 --> 00:39:43.389
and no one can pronounce it right. But. That

00:39:43.389 --> 00:39:46.670
was the most heartwarming experience I've ever

00:39:46.670 --> 00:39:51.090
had as a trans person in the work environment.

00:39:51.510 --> 00:39:59.369
And I am very grateful that I have a great manager

00:39:59.369 --> 00:40:01.949
and great management and like a great person

00:40:01.949 --> 00:40:05.929
in H .R. that and I .T. as well because they

00:40:05.929 --> 00:40:09.530
had to change my name in like the system. But

00:40:09.530 --> 00:40:11.989
the way that they were just like, oh, yeah, for

00:40:11.989 --> 00:40:15.900
sure. is a little mind -boggling to me because

00:40:15.900 --> 00:40:19.300
I've been, I don't want to say conditioned, but

00:40:19.300 --> 00:40:23.159
I've been under the assumption, because I was

00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:27.739
raised in a very blue state, that red states

00:40:27.739 --> 00:40:30.820
are not necessarily full of bigots, but very

00:40:30.820 --> 00:40:37.320
bigotry leaning, or very easy to assume the worst

00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:41.510
of somebody. that really opened my eyes to the

00:40:41.510 --> 00:40:44.389
fact of no sometimes there's just people and

00:40:44.389 --> 00:40:48.150
those people can be kind no matter where you

00:40:48.150 --> 00:40:52.289
are in the red state or a blue state and yeah

00:40:52.289 --> 00:40:57.369
that was just like that's it's been very i've

00:40:57.369 --> 00:41:02.110
been very fortunate that i've been working for

00:41:02.110 --> 00:41:09.829
companies here and they have never Made me feel

00:41:09.829 --> 00:41:18.670
bad or scared for being queer. Yeah. I'm glad

00:41:18.670 --> 00:41:21.889
that they've been supportive and obviously not

00:41:21.889 --> 00:41:25.090
everybody is the same, but it's still there's

00:41:25.090 --> 00:41:27.530
a lot of fear. I feel like that, especially right

00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:30.030
now, not getting into details of that, but especially

00:41:30.030 --> 00:41:32.449
right now in the queer community, like who's

00:41:32.449 --> 00:41:35.329
on our side and who's not and who can we trust

00:41:35.329 --> 00:41:38.989
and who we feel safe with and It's nice to hear

00:41:38.989 --> 00:41:44.469
that like even in a stereotypically not progressive

00:41:44.469 --> 00:41:50.449
political party that some people are trying or

00:41:50.449 --> 00:41:53.829
either still allies or trying to become allies.

00:41:54.030 --> 00:41:58.409
There are some people like my family. Oh my God,

00:41:58.469 --> 00:42:04.170
red, very, it's bad to the point where we just

00:42:04.170 --> 00:42:09.179
don't talk about politics at all. because it's

00:42:09.179 --> 00:42:15.980
just, it's too much. And we can sometimes have

00:42:15.980 --> 00:42:21.019
talks about certain topics, but not necessarily

00:42:21.019 --> 00:42:23.780
like the overarching view of the party. So it's

00:42:23.780 --> 00:42:27.980
like, they used to be much more opinionated and

00:42:27.980 --> 00:42:30.860
harsh on things, like when they were still learning

00:42:30.860 --> 00:42:35.840
to be more accepting of me and... learning that

00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:39.380
it's not like a death sentence to be queer and

00:42:39.380 --> 00:42:43.219
Lebanese. I could still believe in God. I can

00:42:43.219 --> 00:42:46.280
still do anything that I want to do. And it's

00:42:46.280 --> 00:42:50.719
just, but for them, a lot of the stress comes

00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:55.920
from arguing over the state of the country and

00:42:55.920 --> 00:43:00.719
who's running it and how that affects people

00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:05.460
and their family that they love. They may not

00:43:05.460 --> 00:43:08.000
agree with it. They may not fully understand

00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:11.840
it, but they want a relationship with me and

00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:14.719
they want that relationship not to be tarnished.

00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:18.960
In the past, there's been a lot of really bad

00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:22.900
like arguments and just tension, things like

00:43:22.900 --> 00:43:25.539
that and butting heads. So I think over the years,

00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:27.780
the conversations have become more organic and

00:43:27.780 --> 00:43:31.159
they've become more mature on both ends. Like

00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:34.110
I definitely have. not have mature conversations

00:43:34.110 --> 00:43:36.309
with them as well. It's not all on their side,

00:43:36.610 --> 00:43:39.750
but it's really, it depends on the people who

00:43:39.750 --> 00:43:42.889
and how much they value you, how much they're

00:43:42.889 --> 00:43:46.110
willing to compromise and work on it. And you

00:43:46.110 --> 00:43:48.570
don't have to agree on everything to be friends.

00:43:49.010 --> 00:43:52.289
Like you, I know that some people go to extremes

00:43:52.289 --> 00:43:57.769
of if I have somebody who is voting red, like

00:43:57.769 --> 00:43:59.329
I'm never going to talk to them again. I'm like,

00:43:59.329 --> 00:44:01.309
I can't really do that with my family. I could.

00:44:03.130 --> 00:44:07.530
but they haven't in a way I can understand. So

00:44:07.530 --> 00:44:10.429
I really, it's hard for me to have conversations

00:44:10.429 --> 00:44:12.610
about this too, because it's, I understand both

00:44:12.610 --> 00:44:15.710
sides. I understand the idea of I'm never going

00:44:15.710 --> 00:44:19.809
to talk to you again because your decision is

00:44:19.809 --> 00:44:23.550
impacting my life in a way. At the same time,

00:44:24.909 --> 00:44:29.010
it is and it isn't like what one person does.

00:44:29.550 --> 00:44:34.190
is not the choice of another person. So we're

00:44:34.190 --> 00:44:37.150
all separate individuals with our own choices

00:44:37.150 --> 00:44:41.610
and people who, for example, my family who voted

00:44:41.610 --> 00:44:46.949
red don't agree with everything that is happening

00:44:46.949 --> 00:44:49.429
and originally voted red because they didn't

00:44:49.429 --> 00:44:53.849
think things like that would happen. And now

00:44:53.849 --> 00:44:59.400
they are. And so when I've brought it up to My

00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:03.440
dad, he's mainly just been like, I just want

00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:05.420
to make sure you're okay. I just want to make

00:45:05.420 --> 00:45:07.960
sure you're safe, that you and Amanda are safe

00:45:07.960 --> 00:45:11.079
and doesn't need to be a screaming match. It

00:45:11.079 --> 00:45:13.199
doesn't need to be a fight. Like it doesn't need

00:45:13.199 --> 00:45:15.440
to be full of negativity. It could just be like,

00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:20.920
I'm upset that you made this choice. And I hope

00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.559
that By seeing the results of your actions you

00:45:24.559 --> 00:45:27.840
can understand and grow from that decision. Thankfully

00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:33.599
there will be no Third chance but to me it's

00:45:33.599 --> 00:45:38.960
just as I get older and I get I think more about

00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:42.739
Life experiences. I try to not think of things

00:45:42.739 --> 00:45:46.360
as such like such black and white as you're evil.

00:45:46.599 --> 00:45:50.800
You're good people are all inherently flawed

00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:56.539
and all have good and bad in them. So there's

00:45:56.539 --> 00:45:59.079
not one person that's like perfectly good or

00:45:59.079 --> 00:46:01.480
perfectly evil. And I think it all comes down

00:46:01.480 --> 00:46:05.960
to experience and life lessons that we learn

00:46:05.960 --> 00:46:09.679
that the universe sends to us. And maybe they'll

00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:12.519
still vote red, but maybe the next person that

00:46:12.519 --> 00:46:16.059
is red won't have those same ideals and won't

00:46:16.059 --> 00:46:23.690
have such aggressive and like, concerning thoughts

00:46:23.690 --> 00:46:26.769
of things. Like, it really, it depends on the

00:46:26.769 --> 00:46:30.449
person. And I think that we as a society have

00:46:30.449 --> 00:46:34.769
been through so much that we automatically catastrophize

00:46:34.769 --> 00:46:39.010
everything that happens. But at the same time,

00:46:39.110 --> 00:46:41.570
on the authenticity side of the coin, we do need

00:46:41.570 --> 00:46:43.469
to be concerned about the things that are actively

00:46:43.469 --> 00:46:48.519
being put into place that affect us and The people

00:46:48.519 --> 00:46:51.559
that helped put those things into place by voting

00:46:51.559 --> 00:46:55.860
for how they did Need to recognize that and they

00:46:55.860 --> 00:46:58.019
need to recognize that the thoughts and feelings

00:46:58.019 --> 00:47:00.960
of the people that are affected are just as valid

00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:04.000
Doesn't mean anybody needs to be like attacked

00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:07.619
or Swarmed with hate, but it just that people

00:47:07.619 --> 00:47:11.320
need to look at the reality of the situation

00:47:11.320 --> 00:47:16.010
and compassionate towards one another, but society

00:47:16.010 --> 00:47:20.730
is a long ways from that, I think on every front,

00:47:21.250 --> 00:47:25.690
not just one party or whatever. It's as a whole,

00:47:26.190 --> 00:47:29.730
I think society has a lot of growing to do and

00:47:29.730 --> 00:47:33.710
compassion and empathy to relearn for us to ever

00:47:33.710 --> 00:47:38.840
get to a point of peace at all, ever. But yeah,

00:47:38.840 --> 00:47:41.679
I'm concerned. Obviously I did not vote red neither

00:47:41.679 --> 00:47:46.780
did my wife and I I typically don't get involved

00:47:46.780 --> 00:47:49.599
in politics because I also don't understand them.

00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:53.059
So I try not to get involved in things that I

00:47:53.059 --> 00:47:57.019
don't understand on an educational level. I Myself

00:47:57.019 --> 00:47:59.260
grew up with a learning disability. So sometimes

00:47:59.260 --> 00:48:01.820
it takes me a while to really learn what something

00:48:01.820 --> 00:48:05.579
means and like really understand the concept.

00:48:05.719 --> 00:48:07.860
In most of my twenties, I don't think I, I don't

00:48:07.860 --> 00:48:10.679
know if I didn't vote every year. I think I voted

00:48:10.679 --> 00:48:12.900
occasionally, but I really was like, I don't

00:48:12.900 --> 00:48:15.500
understand this. So I don't want to make the

00:48:15.500 --> 00:48:18.679
wrong move. Yeah. But now as an, as I'm older,

00:48:18.679 --> 00:48:21.199
I'm like, okay, I understand. Like I look into

00:48:21.199 --> 00:48:23.239
it a little bit more and see what people are

00:48:23.239 --> 00:48:26.760
talking about. But then it goes back into this

00:48:26.760 --> 00:48:29.780
is a job too. And this is probably a job that

00:48:29.780 --> 00:48:31.519
the people in the past have had that has been

00:48:31.519 --> 00:48:33.869
very stressful for them too. running an entire

00:48:33.869 --> 00:48:38.550
country. But I guess people need to be at a place

00:48:38.550 --> 00:48:41.030
in their lives where they're willing to listen

00:48:41.030 --> 00:48:46.789
without judgment and willing to hear everybody,

00:48:47.369 --> 00:48:49.789
have those conversations, even if you don't agree

00:48:49.789 --> 00:48:52.869
on something, that it doesn't need to come down

00:48:52.869 --> 00:48:55.409
to hate. It doesn't need to come down to malice.

00:48:55.829 --> 00:48:58.710
And that happens a lot in work too, I think,

00:48:58.889 --> 00:49:01.719
disagreements with your boss or coworker. can

00:49:01.719 --> 00:49:04.599
easily be resolved just by talking to them if

00:49:04.599 --> 00:49:06.900
they're receptive. But if they're not receptive

00:49:06.900 --> 00:49:11.400
and you are, that's a moot point. How much are

00:49:11.400 --> 00:49:13.380
you gonna try to have a conversation with somebody

00:49:13.380 --> 00:49:19.019
who is convinced to be against you and only has

00:49:19.019 --> 00:49:20.539
one thought in their mind that they're right

00:49:20.539 --> 00:49:24.099
and there's nothing else in the world but them

00:49:24.099 --> 00:49:28.880
being right? Yeah. I don't know. It's a lot of

00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:32.590
jobs can teach you. quite a bit about yourself

00:49:32.590 --> 00:49:35.570
and about your environment and the world as it

00:49:35.570 --> 00:49:38.550
is and The world as it is a pretty scary place,

00:49:38.550 --> 00:49:40.690
which is one of the reasons I'm unsure about

00:49:40.690 --> 00:49:43.369
having children just to be completely honest

00:49:43.369 --> 00:49:45.909
Yeah, and I don't really know I don't know at

00:49:45.909 --> 00:49:49.510
what point Things will get better. I don't really

00:49:49.510 --> 00:49:53.969
know But I know that in order to at least make

00:49:53.969 --> 00:49:56.650
the right steps. There has to be more compassion.

00:49:56.650 --> 00:50:01.000
There has to be more empathy for each other No

00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:03.860
matter what we think, there shouldn't be hate

00:50:03.860 --> 00:50:07.159
based on religion. There shouldn't be hate based

00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:10.219
on race. There shouldn't be hate based on how

00:50:10.219 --> 00:50:14.659
you identify. It just should be, I don't understand

00:50:14.659 --> 00:50:17.179
it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to hate on

00:50:17.179 --> 00:50:21.300
you for it. Cause that just creates more problems

00:50:21.300 --> 00:50:25.000
and more negative energy in the world that we

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.869
don't need. We don't need any more. We have plenty

00:50:29.869 --> 00:50:32.889
right now. Like the world is imploding as we

00:50:32.889 --> 00:50:38.130
know it. And people are just taking that as an

00:50:38.130 --> 00:50:42.869
excuse to just go hard and on, on hatred. And

00:50:42.869 --> 00:50:47.269
it's sad to see, but I can also understand how

00:50:47.269 --> 00:50:51.969
people are very hurt. And I try to see, I don't

00:50:51.969 --> 00:50:54.389
know if it's devil's advocate, but it's more

00:50:54.389 --> 00:50:58.639
like I'm trying in my life to see things as more

00:50:58.639 --> 00:51:02.239
of like from a compassionate Side of things and

00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:04.579
I don't like that. I don't agree with that. I

00:51:04.579 --> 00:51:06.860
don't agree that my family voted red I really

00:51:06.860 --> 00:51:08.780
don't like that. I'm scared for what that means

00:51:08.780 --> 00:51:13.000
for myself and my wife and my family I'm not

00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:17.139
gonna then be like I hate you like you're dead

00:51:17.139 --> 00:51:27.730
to me because in a way like It's just They didn't

00:51:27.730 --> 00:51:31.449
do the actions that are being performed right

00:51:31.449 --> 00:51:35.829
now. It's a result of their choice, but it wasn't

00:51:35.829 --> 00:51:40.849
only them. It's a big group effort. So you can't

00:51:40.849 --> 00:51:45.389
penalize people that just by, just because they

00:51:45.389 --> 00:51:48.690
were a part of that. I think it's difficult and

00:51:48.690 --> 00:51:51.010
it goes into like those ethics a little bit.

00:51:51.210 --> 00:51:54.630
what's the right step to take when you have conversations

00:51:54.630 --> 00:51:58.329
like this and what's the appropriate outlook

00:51:58.329 --> 00:52:02.190
on something where does this deserve the negative

00:52:02.190 --> 00:52:04.849
energy that I'm going to give it? Does this deserve

00:52:04.849 --> 00:52:07.530
me breaking the ties? Obviously the people that

00:52:07.530 --> 00:52:09.750
you're talking to were being really terrible

00:52:09.750 --> 00:52:15.150
towards you and nasty and that's a good reason

00:52:15.150 --> 00:52:18.690
to break ties regardless. I can understand where

00:52:18.690 --> 00:52:22.190
each side comes from. I can understand on my

00:52:22.190 --> 00:52:25.289
side, like how I feel. And then I can also understand

00:52:25.289 --> 00:52:29.409
that I don't fully know what other people are

00:52:29.409 --> 00:52:34.570
thinking and I can't claim to. Yep. And at the

00:52:34.570 --> 00:52:37.650
end of the day, this is like the philosophical

00:52:37.650 --> 00:52:39.489
part of me, but like at the end of the day, when

00:52:39.489 --> 00:52:42.489
we all leave the earth, like none of it's going

00:52:42.489 --> 00:52:48.420
to matter. Yeah, exactly. I believe that we become

00:52:48.420 --> 00:52:51.019
energy and we just, we're like, we're chilling.

00:52:51.300 --> 00:52:55.480
It's not gonna, these little arguments over things

00:52:55.480 --> 00:53:01.019
are not, they may not matter. I don't know, I

00:53:01.019 --> 00:53:04.619
went on a little bit of a rant. No, I think that

00:53:04.619 --> 00:53:07.920
was a good rant to have. Are you just saying

00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:11.440
that? No, because the thing is, I don't want

00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:15.019
to get too off topic. Oh my God, we're always

00:53:15.019 --> 00:53:17.280
going to get off topic. Real talk with Rain,

00:53:17.480 --> 00:53:20.579
always off topic. We'll put a pin in it and we'll

00:53:20.579 --> 00:53:25.179
revisit on a future episode. Because I also have

00:53:25.179 --> 00:53:28.880
a very similar opinion of just because I did

00:53:28.880 --> 00:53:32.900
make the tough choice of distancing myself from

00:53:32.900 --> 00:53:35.039
certain family members because of how they voted.

00:53:35.230 --> 00:53:37.730
And also just because of the attitude they have.

00:53:38.469 --> 00:53:41.610
But again, that's it. If you want to hear that

00:53:41.610 --> 00:53:45.349
fun story, you should subscribe to. Subscribe

00:53:45.349 --> 00:53:49.670
to my channel for a future episode and support

00:53:49.670 --> 00:53:55.869
our patriotic. Yeah, I'll link in the bio. Probably

00:53:55.869 --> 00:53:58.090
not good to have that part way through the episode,

00:53:58.090 --> 00:54:01.329
but OK. We'll know who has actually stayed here

00:54:01.329 --> 00:54:04.280
long enough. If you have, comment down below

00:54:04.280 --> 00:54:08.079
what you do with your family that vote red. Yeah.

00:54:08.619 --> 00:54:11.219
How you handle that because it would be interesting

00:54:11.219 --> 00:54:15.619
to see other opinions and having an actual constructive

00:54:15.619 --> 00:54:19.219
conversation is also, I love having constructive

00:54:19.219 --> 00:54:22.039
conversations about hard topics because when

00:54:22.039 --> 00:54:24.360
you can have adult conversations that are constructive

00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:26.300
and it's not like one side's getting upset or

00:54:26.300 --> 00:54:28.679
taking it personally, you really can have these

00:54:28.679 --> 00:54:31.559
long. Good conversations with people. It doesn't

00:54:31.559 --> 00:54:33.320
mean that you agree. It just means you're having

00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:37.619
a conversation. Yeah, exactly. We lost that ability.

00:54:37.619 --> 00:54:39.500
This is like a little bit back to the internet

00:54:39.500 --> 00:54:42.739
podcast, but when the internet kind of starts

00:54:42.739 --> 00:54:46.539
taking over the world, people lose almost like

00:54:46.539 --> 00:54:48.699
that ability to have constructive conversation

00:54:48.699 --> 00:54:52.460
without putting all of your emotions in it. And

00:54:52.460 --> 00:54:55.360
just looking at it for what it is rather than

00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.469
taking it as. Just because somebody has this

00:54:59.469 --> 00:55:02.130
thought that means they also think this no because

00:55:02.130 --> 00:55:04.750
they didn't say that they thought that they just

00:55:04.750 --> 00:55:07.170
like we're focusing at the task at hand and the

00:55:07.170 --> 00:55:11.489
topic at hand and Going back to the jobs having

00:55:11.489 --> 00:55:14.389
crappy jobs Again, it's that happens at work

00:55:14.389 --> 00:55:16.750
all the time where you don't want to be job because

00:55:16.750 --> 00:55:19.889
you can't communicate with people Who aren't

00:55:19.889 --> 00:55:22.250
willing to have a constructive conversation with

00:55:22.250 --> 00:55:24.030
you? It's just oh you didn't do this, right?

00:55:24.210 --> 00:55:27.739
I don't care what your excuse is whatever, especially

00:55:27.739 --> 00:55:30.059
with bosses. If you can't have a constructive

00:55:30.059 --> 00:55:33.619
conversation with your boss, you're not going

00:55:33.619 --> 00:55:35.679
to be happy in your workplace. You're not going

00:55:35.679 --> 00:55:37.900
to feel like you're being guided or you're being

00:55:37.900 --> 00:55:40.019
led in the right direction. And that's not a

00:55:40.019 --> 00:55:44.260
good workplace to be in. If you're not actively

00:55:44.260 --> 00:55:46.780
learning and checking in with the people that

00:55:46.780 --> 00:55:49.420
are supposed to be supervising and guiding you,

00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:53.500
then that alone is a sign that something needs

00:55:53.500 --> 00:55:56.000
to change or that's not the right role for you.

00:55:56.170 --> 00:56:00.730
Yeah. And I will add on to that just a little

00:56:00.730 --> 00:56:03.789
bit. Please do. Give me a break for talking.

00:56:04.929 --> 00:56:07.050
That's fine. Because I was going to bring up,

00:56:07.150 --> 00:56:10.789
I was trying to think of like art jobs that I've

00:56:10.789 --> 00:56:14.090
had that were like, oh, terrible. But the thing

00:56:14.090 --> 00:56:17.989
is, none of the art jobs that I've had were necessarily

00:56:17.989 --> 00:56:21.989
bad because the management was good. Like we

00:56:21.989 --> 00:56:25.510
had good directors, we had good people checking

00:56:25.510 --> 00:56:27.769
in on other people to make sure that work is

00:56:27.769 --> 00:56:30.369
getting done or for updates and stuff. It was

00:56:30.369 --> 00:56:33.789
just the other people on the project that would

00:56:33.789 --> 00:56:38.750
sometimes not pull their weight. And I understand

00:56:38.750 --> 00:56:41.590
that in a lot of because a lot of the art jobs

00:56:41.590 --> 00:56:44.710
that I worked on were either just for the experience,

00:56:44.989 --> 00:56:47.489
honestly, just to build my portfolio. So it was

00:56:47.489 --> 00:56:50.389
like technically free, free labor. That was my

00:56:50.389 --> 00:56:54.449
choice that I decided to do or or. severely.

00:56:55.829 --> 00:56:58.730
Not severely, but definitely like under what

00:56:58.730 --> 00:57:02.130
would be affordable to live off of, because that's

00:57:02.130 --> 00:57:05.989
just how art is. A lot of people can't afford

00:57:05.989 --> 00:57:12.469
500 drawings and also expect it to be done at

00:57:12.469 --> 00:57:16.550
a timely fashion. But yeah, sometimes on those

00:57:16.550 --> 00:57:22.670
projects, there will be people who. Don't understand.

00:57:22.699 --> 00:57:27.800
and the nuances of the job a little bit. And

00:57:27.800 --> 00:57:29.900
I'm not trying to blame them because a lot of

00:57:29.900 --> 00:57:33.199
them were either. This was back when I was a

00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:36.079
minor. It would be like other minors or it would

00:57:36.079 --> 00:57:39.639
be like in the like adult spaces. It would just

00:57:39.639 --> 00:57:43.440
be like younger adults who didn't really understand

00:57:43.440 --> 00:57:47.840
that. Hey, you asked to be a part of this project.

00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:51.739
You don't have to do that. You don't have to.

00:57:52.460 --> 00:57:58.320
work for peanuts as they say like you And I'm

00:57:58.320 --> 00:58:00.820
not again, and I'm not saying that artists shouldn't

00:58:00.820 --> 00:58:04.039
be paid what they're worth. They absolutely should

00:58:04.039 --> 00:58:06.420
I definitely do want to be paid what I'm worth

00:58:06.420 --> 00:58:10.780
but in some cases, especially when you are doing

00:58:10.780 --> 00:58:15.539
indie related projects You're going to be doing

00:58:15.539 --> 00:58:20.260
a lot of work for sometimes nothing and That's

00:58:20.260 --> 00:58:24.150
the choice you make is because no one held a

00:58:24.150 --> 00:58:27.309
gun to my head and said, hey, do an animatic

00:58:27.309 --> 00:58:31.289
of the scene completely for free. And but in

00:58:31.289 --> 00:58:34.710
that same kind of vein, you can't expect people.

00:58:35.730 --> 00:58:41.610
To do that work for free. Yeah. But also, if

00:58:41.610 --> 00:58:44.909
you're not going to do it, say something, because

00:58:44.909 --> 00:58:49.510
you're being an asshole. By being like, oh, yeah,

00:58:49.550 --> 00:58:53.900
no, I'll do it and then. ghost the project for

00:58:53.900 --> 00:58:57.119
six or seven months. And everyone's, OK, I guess

00:58:57.119 --> 00:58:59.639
the project's dead now. And then that's why we

00:58:59.639 --> 00:59:03.239
have so many dead indie projects that don't even

00:59:03.239 --> 00:59:09.179
get an episode or don't even get a concept. Because

00:59:09.179 --> 00:59:13.820
it's like being a creative is hard, like. It's

00:59:13.820 --> 00:59:17.539
not it's this is we've talked about this a little

00:59:17.539 --> 00:59:21.880
bit, but you have to be so. passionate about

00:59:21.880 --> 00:59:25.619
what you're doing as a creative that you have

00:59:25.619 --> 00:59:30.519
to work on top of working. You have to have a

00:59:30.519 --> 00:59:33.300
job that pays the bills and then you got to work

00:59:33.300 --> 00:59:37.619
on top of that in order to get to the place where

00:59:37.619 --> 00:59:40.860
you can be creative all the time. And I think

00:59:40.860 --> 00:59:47.989
that's a job that a lot of people either don't

00:59:47.989 --> 00:59:50.889
realize or they don't think about is the fact

00:59:50.889 --> 00:59:57.230
that like You have to put in so much more work

00:59:57.230 --> 01:00:04.849
to get an audience to Draw to write to direct

01:00:04.849 --> 01:00:09.289
to voice act you got to put in a lot of extra

01:00:09.289 --> 01:00:13.309
work on top of a nine to five or a 40 hour work

01:00:13.309 --> 01:00:18.440
week whatever the instance is and A lot of people

01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:21.639
can't do that at the same time, which is frustrating,

01:00:21.800 --> 01:00:25.099
which is very upsetting for a lot of people.

01:00:25.920 --> 01:00:28.639
Like myself included, I do struggle sometimes

01:00:28.639 --> 01:00:35.739
balancing my regular day job and my job as an

01:00:35.739 --> 01:00:40.179
artist because sometimes I get home and all I

01:00:40.179 --> 01:00:43.219
want to do is just sit down. and watch YouTube

01:00:43.219 --> 01:00:45.940
for the three, four hours that I have before

01:00:45.940 --> 01:00:49.199
I have to go to bed. And I've been policing myself

01:00:49.199 --> 01:00:53.860
a little bit to work during those hours that

01:00:53.860 --> 01:00:56.579
I have for free, that I have free before I have

01:00:56.579 --> 01:01:00.619
to go to bed, not just to satisfy a client, but

01:01:00.619 --> 01:01:04.579
to satisfy myself and build up that work ethic

01:01:04.579 --> 01:01:07.679
because it will pay off in the end. Because if

01:01:07.679 --> 01:01:12.039
I do creative projects, That could become my

01:01:12.039 --> 01:01:16.179
job if I continue to push through it, if I continue

01:01:16.179 --> 01:01:23.800
to put eggs in that basket. So, yeah. Absolutely.

01:01:26.179 --> 01:01:30.199
And yeah, I think at least my closing thoughts

01:01:30.199 --> 01:01:35.179
would be it's all about communication. It all

01:01:35.179 --> 01:01:37.940
comes down to communication, which is like the

01:01:37.940 --> 01:01:41.519
center. of everything is community. If you don't

01:01:41.519 --> 01:01:44.019
want to work for the rate that's offered, say

01:01:44.019 --> 01:01:46.880
that. And then obviously it's in the other person's

01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:48.800
court. If they want to be a jerk about it, then

01:01:48.800 --> 01:01:51.880
that's their decision. And then you just know

01:01:51.880 --> 01:01:54.119
not to work for that person. If there's a way

01:01:54.119 --> 01:01:57.340
to negotiate it, you can negotiate it. If there's

01:01:57.340 --> 01:01:59.900
people in the world that obviously there are

01:01:59.900 --> 01:02:02.920
some shady people, there are people who are pulling

01:02:02.920 --> 01:02:08.510
like really nasty tricks on other people just

01:02:08.510 --> 01:02:11.909
because they I don't know why they do it, but

01:02:11.909 --> 01:02:14.369
They do they don't communicate because they're

01:02:14.369 --> 01:02:16.329
like I don't want to communicate because this

01:02:16.329 --> 01:02:18.550
is just what I'm doing to like entertain myself

01:02:18.550 --> 01:02:22.710
or to Do something just for me and that selfishness

01:02:22.710 --> 01:02:25.369
is gonna come back and bite them Eventually,

01:02:25.369 --> 01:02:28.210
but the people that do at least the ones that

01:02:28.210 --> 01:02:30.670
I've worked for like I worked for a company for

01:02:30.670 --> 01:02:33.710
three years as a voice actress and I was I'm

01:02:33.710 --> 01:02:36.340
still upset with the way that things Ended because

01:02:36.340 --> 01:02:39.340
I feel like they didn't do it in a very proper

01:02:39.340 --> 01:02:41.860
way It's been a way that I could talk about later

01:02:41.860 --> 01:02:45.800
on but I I still wouldn't say like they're a

01:02:45.800 --> 01:02:49.159
bad company. I wouldn't be like Bad mouthing

01:02:49.159 --> 01:02:51.559
them or anything like that. I would just be like

01:02:51.559 --> 01:02:55.679
it didn't work out and I Definitely got paid

01:02:55.679 --> 01:02:58.599
like a decent amount. It wasn't as much as I

01:02:58.599 --> 01:03:00.960
would have liked to have gotten paid Especially

01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:05.199
with how big my role was. Yep But when having

01:03:05.199 --> 01:03:08.199
those conversations, it was always very constructive.

01:03:08.239 --> 01:03:10.920
It was always like, this is, you know, what I'm

01:03:10.920 --> 01:03:13.239
proposing. What do you think? Give me feedback.

01:03:13.820 --> 01:03:16.420
And it's a back and forth. It's not one sided.

01:03:16.539 --> 01:03:18.920
When it's one sided, that's when issues come

01:03:18.920 --> 01:03:23.440
in. When people can't have actual mature conversations

01:03:23.440 --> 01:03:27.400
about what they need versus what that project

01:03:27.400 --> 01:03:30.170
or that job needs. If it's not a match, it's

01:03:30.170 --> 01:03:32.309
not a match and it doesn't make anybody a bad

01:03:32.309 --> 01:03:35.869
person. It just means it's not a match. Somebody

01:03:35.869 --> 01:03:38.130
else might be perfect for that role and you just

01:03:38.130 --> 01:03:40.050
need to talk to them. If you're not perfect for

01:03:40.050 --> 01:03:41.670
that role, that doesn't mean that it's never

01:03:41.670 --> 01:03:43.769
going to happen for you. It just means it's not

01:03:43.769 --> 01:03:47.050
the right role for you. It's really that simple.

01:03:48.869 --> 01:03:51.230
So a lot of indie projects that are so good end

01:03:51.230 --> 01:03:54.329
up stopping because of lack of communication,

01:03:54.650 --> 01:04:01.309
a lack of awareness. Not being able to have constructive

01:04:01.309 --> 01:04:05.429
and also empathetic conversations with each other.

01:04:07.289 --> 01:04:11.489
So that's my takeaways is obviously that communication

01:04:11.489 --> 01:04:14.750
is the hub for everything when it comes to job

01:04:14.750 --> 01:04:18.389
related, job related work, whether it's creative

01:04:18.389 --> 01:04:21.309
outlets or nine to fives or full time, part time,

01:04:21.469 --> 01:04:24.630
per DM, whatever it is. There has to be some

01:04:24.630 --> 01:04:27.010
level of communication there or things are always

01:04:27.010 --> 01:04:29.210
going to get lost in translation. And then it

01:04:29.210 --> 01:04:33.989
just gets muddled from there. It just, it creates

01:04:33.989 --> 01:04:37.130
more problems that clear communication at the

01:04:37.130 --> 01:04:44.369
start would have avoided. Exactly. So yeah, people

01:04:44.369 --> 01:04:47.719
make mistakes and. If they learn from them, then

01:04:47.719 --> 01:04:50.559
that's great. If they don't, then that's on them.

01:04:50.760 --> 01:04:52.719
Things will happen for them how they happen for

01:04:52.719 --> 01:04:54.400
them. We never really know what anybody else

01:04:54.400 --> 01:04:57.760
is going through. And we can only try to be kind

01:04:57.760 --> 01:05:00.780
and give people grace because you don't know

01:05:00.780 --> 01:05:02.760
what they're going through. You don't know what

01:05:02.760 --> 01:05:04.880
they have been through and you don't know what's

01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:07.840
going on that day for them. Trying to approach

01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:12.900
every situation with grace and an open mind would

01:05:12.900 --> 01:05:16.269
really... Benefit our society if we started practicing

01:05:16.269 --> 01:05:24.210
that more. Yep, I agree 100%. Perfect, so. I

01:05:24.210 --> 01:05:26.309
think do you have any closing thoughts before

01:05:26.309 --> 01:05:30.349
we wrap up? I guess my closing thoughts are just

01:05:30.349 --> 01:05:33.090
echoing what you said. Communication is important,

01:05:33.090 --> 01:05:36.050
especially in the job environment between coworkers

01:05:36.050 --> 01:05:38.510
between management. If you don't have an open

01:05:38.510 --> 01:05:42.969
line of communication and you can't. make it

01:05:42.969 --> 01:05:46.849
yourself. That job is probably not for you. You

01:05:46.849 --> 01:05:49.889
can hopefully find somewhere better to work.

01:05:50.309 --> 01:05:52.710
Just know that like everyone goes through shitty

01:05:52.710 --> 01:05:54.570
jobs just because you're in a shitty job right

01:05:54.570 --> 01:05:56.110
now does not mean that you're going to be stuck

01:05:56.110 --> 01:06:00.909
there forever. And you're great. You're wonderful.

01:06:01.349 --> 01:06:04.190
You're doing the best you can. And I hope someone

01:06:04.190 --> 01:06:07.530
gives you some grace today. If you're having

01:06:07.530 --> 01:06:10.650
a bad day or you're overworked and you're really

01:06:10.650 --> 01:06:13.289
tired. Yeah, you're doing your best. You're doing

01:06:13.289 --> 01:06:16.150
great. And we're going to survive the world that

01:06:16.150 --> 01:06:21.449
is today together. Yes, absolutely. I'd like

01:06:21.449 --> 01:06:24.230
to thank all of our listeners for joining us

01:06:24.230 --> 01:06:27.929
today. And like I said, actually, like Gabe said

01:06:27.929 --> 01:06:32.630
prior, you have I have a Patreon. So I will link

01:06:32.630 --> 01:06:35.690
that in the bio. And then you can also there

01:06:35.690 --> 01:06:38.219
should be links. I don't know how podcast works.

01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:39.920
They're still new to me, but there should be

01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:42.019
links to other places that you can listen to

01:06:42.019 --> 01:06:44.719
this podcast and other places where you can find

01:06:44.719 --> 01:06:46.719
me in my work. And then, Gabe, would you like

01:06:46.719 --> 01:06:49.119
to shout yourself out at all if you're comfortable?

01:06:49.539 --> 01:06:51.619
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I have a YouTube channel.

01:06:51.659 --> 01:06:53.159
There's nothing on it right now. I'm working

01:06:53.159 --> 01:06:57.340
on a video, but it's Astra underscore nights

01:06:57.340 --> 01:07:00.800
with a K. If you want to just check it out to

01:07:00.800 --> 01:07:03.550
see if anything, if you like. watching artwork,

01:07:03.570 --> 01:07:05.309
if you like to hear my voice, you like hearing

01:07:05.309 --> 01:07:08.250
me talk, go ahead and subscribe because you're

01:07:08.250 --> 01:07:10.530
probably going to get an odd video every blue

01:07:10.530 --> 01:07:14.449
moon. But you know what? It's cool. It's fun.

01:07:14.849 --> 01:07:17.650
And I draw sometimes. Don't post a lot. I should

01:07:17.650 --> 01:07:20.230
probably do that, too. It's already over quantity.

01:07:20.230 --> 01:07:24.150
It's fine. It is. But yeah, my handle Astra underscore

01:07:24.150 --> 01:07:26.670
nights pretty much on everything. You could probably

01:07:26.670 --> 01:07:28.630
find me there. I may have posted something I

01:07:28.630 --> 01:07:33.260
may have not, but you can look anyway. All right,

01:07:33.260 --> 01:07:36.019
we will be back in a little bit probably in a

01:07:36.019 --> 01:07:38.760
couple weeks or so with another podcast So thank

01:07:38.760 --> 01:07:40.880
you guys for listening and make sure that you're

01:07:40.880 --> 01:07:43.480
kind to yourself and others Do something good

01:07:43.480 --> 01:07:45.980
for yourself today and drink water. It's very

01:07:45.980 --> 01:07:48.739
important. Okay. Bye Bye