WEBVTT

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Hello everybody and welcome back to Real Talk

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with Rayne. I'm here today with Gabe. Hello, I'm

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Gabe. Gabe is an amazing person and I'm very

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excited that he is joining me on the podcast.

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Oh my God. Today is the topic of real life versus

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a virtual life and that could mean anything in

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regards to friendships, relationships. Anything

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of the sort, really. So, Gabe, do you have any

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topics you would like to cover first that are

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on your mind? I guess, like, from my personal

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experience with that is, like, the idea of online

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persona versus, like, how you are in the real

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world. I'm someone who has a lot... of social

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anxiety to the point where it's I can't even

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go to conventions in person because I have a

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really bad time and really big crowds. So when

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other people are like, oh, I feel so much better

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talking in groups and discords online. I'm like,

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I wish that was me. I can't I don't understand

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personally the how people can feel. Less feel

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less pressure and. with online personas. Because

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if anything, I feel better in the real world

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talking to people face to face because I can

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see their expressions. I know that when I text

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something, they'll probably misconstrue it. But

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if I say it to their face, it's like they're

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not going to do that. I don't know. No, I get

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what you mean. I think it's easier to talk to

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people in person because you're One, you might

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know that person better. Like I always am kind

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of the thought that you never really know somebody

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until you've spent time with them in person.

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Like you can have internet friends and virtual

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friends that you've talked to for like ages.

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And of course there's a strong connection there,

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but it's different when it's in person because

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you really see the person's habits and how they

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actually act, not behind a screen. And so in

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a way, I feel like people feel more comfortable

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behind the screen, too, because they can be their

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authentic self, whether that's good or bad. That's

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very true, because as you know this, but whoever

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is listening definitely doesn't. I am a trans

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man. I've been identifying as a trans man since

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I was 17, but I didn't start transitioning until

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I was around 20, 21. But online, I was using

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he, him pronouns. I was... being addressed as

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boy, guy, man. And that really, it helped me

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a lot in figuring out if I was a trans man because

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it was just reassuring me that, yeah, I do feel

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gender euphoria when I am being seen as a man

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or being addressed as he and him. So I think

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there is there is an upside to having the anatomy

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and not a non I'm not gonna say the word having

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that kind of I love words like a shield almost

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yeah having that kind of shield of no one knows

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what who you are actually because if you were

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to see me at 17 like on the streets you would

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have been like oh that's a teenage girl She got

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tits. She got curves. I did have them. They're

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gone now, which is great for me. But it's like,

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if anything, it made me feel like solidified

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in my identity, which I feel like is the upside

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to having an online persona where you can actually

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be more yourself when you're not even sure of

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who you are yet. It's almost like you're able

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to try out things without feeling... any kind

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of permanent -ness to it. Like, I tried out a

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whole bunch of different, like, preferred names

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as online names as well, whereas, like, Lynn

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was one of them. And I was like, no, not that

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one. I don't feel... I don't vibe with that name.

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No, no, no. She's like, not for me. Yeah. That

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makes a lot of sense. And I feel like it's good

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and for those reasons, right? For people trying

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to... Figure out who they are, what feels right

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to them. Safety reasons is definitely a good

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thing as well, not divulging your personal information

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on the internet and things like that. But I also

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feel like the internet in itself has become so

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dangerous that even when people try to hide who

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they are, other people will then make it their

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life's mission to figure it out. And it's not

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your business. It's not. It's not your business.

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If somebody wants to be behind an avatar, that's

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fine. But unless... I just don't understand.

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I think my biggest thing with real life and virtual

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life is that I've had friends for 14 years now.

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I'm 33. My oldest friend is a friend of almost...

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God, math. Yeah, about 14, 15 years. And we met

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on the internet. We met doing, we were both really

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into anime because we're nerds. And I met them

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through a website that did like role playing

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and like making stories and stuff like that with

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OCs. And I didn't really know what that was until

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my friend in high school introduced me to it.

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And then I started chatting with people and I

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met this... You've you've heard on the podcast

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before and we've got super close like we talked

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every single day And I definitely think that

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there was a real friendship there when he came

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to visit though in person it was solidified like

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it was definitely that moment where you're like

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you're gonna meet this person in person and It

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can all change in the blink of an eye like this

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person could not be who they say they are Yeah,

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I always say video chat with people that you're

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friends with so that you know that you're talking

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to the actual person. Oh yeah, absolutely. But

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I think it's, I don't want to discount friendships

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that can only be over the internet because obviously

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sometimes that's the only way that people have

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means to connect to other people, which is how

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I was for the longest time. I didn't have a lot

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of friends in real life. I was actually bullied

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in school quite a lot. So I just didn't really

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vibe with a lot of people. And it's just being

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a people pleaser in high school. Oh, I was stepped

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all over. It's hard to know who you are when

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the people that are around you don't match the

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energy that you give out. And yeah, they don't

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have the same kind of morals or growth or ideas

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that you share. And so that was a nice way for

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me to connect with other people that love to

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write and that loved anime and just combining

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the two. And then that's how I actually met my

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other friend, that both Stewart and Draco were

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bridesmen in my wedding. Draco was my man of

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honor. And I met them both through storytelling

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and creating stories through OCs, but they were

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both on the internet. And those relationships

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went from the internet to the phone, and they

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went to voice calls and video calls. And it still,

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I would say, was just as personal as an in -person

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relationship. but it's missing that aspect of

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almost the little things of seeing this person's

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like quirks when you're around them in person

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and seeing if they really act the same way in

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person that they do online. Because online you

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can put your best face forward in front of anybody

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and then in person people meet you and they're

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like that's I expected you to be completely different.

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Yeah, absolutely. So it's a double edged sword.

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I feel like with people, the internet being so

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big now and it's scary because it's almost like

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raising the next generation. So we aren't going

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outside and playing anymore with an imagination.

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Like people aren't, they're so glued to their

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phones and they're so glued to technology and

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TV. And starting in the nineties was when I was

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born, TV was like the big thing, right? We're

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glued to that TV. And that was bad, too, for

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us. But now it's just like everything is online.

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And it's you can't escape it. Social media is

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so scary. And you have kids who are younger and

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younger joining, even lying about their ages

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to join social media and then being exposed to

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these things that are really toxic. Yeah, absolutely.

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And I don't think that's helpful for their development

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as people. I agree with that. I think it's because

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as you mentioned earlier, there is positive aspects

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to like meeting people online, especially if

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you're from like a smaller town and maybe you're

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the only gay kid being having a community through

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the Internet and online friends through that

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is very important. But I definitely agree that

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sometimes you do need to go out there. and either

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meet these people, like, in person or just experience

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the world socially with other people. Like, even

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if it's just through a video call on Discord,

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I feel like that's very important because you

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can still see other people's mannerisms. You

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can still actually have a conversation with them

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in real time and get to know them outside of

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just words on a screen. But I totally get the

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concern about younger people on social media,

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because I'm sure you were raised on this, and

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I definitely was. I was born in 98, so I was

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like one of the first children to be young on

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the Internet. But it was like we would be in

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classes in our computer labs and be taught like,

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don't say your full name, don't say your address,

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don't, you know. Meanwhile, these kids nowadays,

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it's like we're glossing over those important

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rules of the Internet again, because now everyone

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has the Internet in their hand or on an iPad.

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And they're just giving them to these kids. And

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now any any person can just ask a kid, hey, what's

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your address? And they'll tell them because they

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don't know the safeties about. People online

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because just because they sound nice to you right

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now does not mean that they have the best intentions

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for you Even with your name they can still just

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the way that the internet has progressed Well

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can still find things about you and it's just

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it's terrifying like I had a friend in high school

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and this was my first real experience of Having

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a friend that went through something really scary,

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but I had a friend who had a pen pal And she

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wrote to him all the time and they exchanged

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letters to each other. It wasn't even on the

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internet, it was letters. And she got a letter

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from him one day saying, I'm not gonna go into

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massive detail, but saying who he was and he

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was in prison. Oh my God. Mind you, my friend

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and I were 14 at this time. And he said that

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when he was getting out, he was gonna come see

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her because she had been sending him mail. Yeah.

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And now he knew where she lived. That's insane.

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And my friend was like freaking out. She called

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me and her parents were freaking out and they

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had to move because it was this guy was like,

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Oh, I'm going to come meet you. Like I'm your

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boyfriend now. And it was just, it was crazy.

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It was creepy. It was scary. And I was like,

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God, that that's for letters. And now the internet

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is it's like letters, but Worse so it's just

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the way that people are connecting to each other

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It's not as safe No Not to say that it was safe

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when letters were a thing because obviously based

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on the story that I just told that's not necessarily

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the case But it's and I had a friend online once

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that Same when I was in high school because this

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is like when stuff really started happening on

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the internet in high school for me, middle school,

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high school age. Before that, it was like we

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went outside and we played and I thought I was

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so cool. Like I still have the scar to prove

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this, but I wanted like our children and our

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next generations to get back to this because

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this was so much fun. Like I went to, there was

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a sewer drain, right? And I was like, I'm gonna

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make a bridge. And so I put, sticks over the

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sewer drain outside of my parents cabin. And

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I was like, okay, I'm going to put all these

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sticks together and make a little bridge for

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myself and then walk over the sewer drain because

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I'm so cool. And I did that. I fell. I cut my

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leg open and a rock fell on my leg. Oh my god.

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I wish I was kidding. It was the craziest experience.

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I just walked in the house. I was wearing white

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socks and as I looked down, they were just red

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with blood. And I walked inside the cabin and

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I just casually lay on the couch and I was like,

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Ma. Like what? I'm like, I think I need a band

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-aid. So my mom comes over thinking I just scraped

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my knee and she's like, oh my God, get off the

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couch you wear. But then literally it was the

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crazy experience because the rock kind of got

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stuck in my leg and almost my skin like formed

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a, almost like a circle around it. Oh my God.

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So it was weird. I still have the scar. It's

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very small. It wasn't huge by any means, but

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it's like right on the top of my leg. And like

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Amanda, my wife, has felt it before and she can

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feel like it's a hole it's still a hole in my

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leg yeah so it's weird but i was just playing

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outside and having a good time and now it's a

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story that i can have forever like a scar and

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a story that i can have forever but the weirdest

00:15:18.190 --> 00:15:20.409
thing that happened with it is when it was healing

00:15:20.409 --> 00:15:22.950
because my dad had put some oh god what is it

00:15:22.950 --> 00:15:27.029
called oh he's gonna kick my booty for not remembering

00:15:27.029 --> 00:15:29.429
what this is called because he's what the heck

00:15:29.429 --> 00:15:32.700
hydrogen peroxide yes Okay. Putting that like

00:15:32.700 --> 00:15:35.700
on the actual wound and then it fizzles up and

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stuff. And as it healed, I was playing with my

00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:43.620
friend at her house and we were like, I don't

00:15:43.620 --> 00:15:45.379
know what we were doing, but we were, I was like

00:15:45.379 --> 00:15:47.940
walking around like on my hands and knees on

00:15:47.940 --> 00:15:50.340
the carpet for something. And I think I was looking

00:15:50.340 --> 00:15:53.360
for something. And I just, all of a sudden, like

00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.500
when I sat back up, I looked down and the rock

00:15:55.500 --> 00:16:02.860
was gone. And I was like. Like, what happened?

00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:08.159
And it wasn't bleeding. It was just a perfect

00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:12.659
hole in my skin. Oh my God. It was so weird.

00:16:12.779 --> 00:16:15.320
There was no blood. There was nothing. I just

00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:18.399
stared at it for five minutes. Like not sure

00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.559
how this is a thing when it healed with that

00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:25.779
thin layer of skin over it. Yeah. So I think

00:16:25.779 --> 00:16:28.159
there's still like almost like a hole underneath

00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:31.600
that, but still it's, it's fully healed. But

00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.100
in terms of things like that, I feel like those

00:16:34.100 --> 00:16:37.600
memories are obviously me getting hurt is like

00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:40.700
not a great memory to have, but it's still when

00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:44.039
I think about compared to what the younger generation

00:16:44.039 --> 00:16:46.340
is dealing with today, being on the internet

00:16:46.340 --> 00:16:51.580
and being judged by other people or having like

00:16:51.639 --> 00:16:56.019
mob mindsets for things. And it's just it makes

00:16:56.019 --> 00:17:00.000
me sad for the little like my inner child to

00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:03.159
see that they're not experiencing those things

00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:05.720
because they're so sucked into virtual life.

00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:09.299
Yeah. And I think it's one of those things where

00:17:09.299 --> 00:17:12.339
it's it's not necessarily the children's fault

00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:15.099
for being stuck on the Internet, especially with

00:17:15.099 --> 00:17:20.140
part like the whole disappearing of. spaces where

00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:23.440
children can just go and be kids, like can't

00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:26.220
stay in the park without an adult. But if your

00:17:26.220 --> 00:17:28.059
parents are at work, you're like you're stuck

00:17:28.059 --> 00:17:31.900
at home or you're stuck wherever because apparently

00:17:31.900 --> 00:17:34.740
kids can't hang out anywhere anymore without

00:17:34.740 --> 00:17:38.099
being terrible. But but no, I agree the whole

00:17:38.099 --> 00:17:41.420
because of the lack of the spaces for children

00:17:41.420 --> 00:17:44.920
to go to, they are then stuck on the Internet.

00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:48.769
And as a result, they are being as you said,

00:17:49.509 --> 00:17:54.509
conditioned to these mob mindsets where the smallest

00:17:54.509 --> 00:18:00.069
infraction or faux pas that a person can do will

00:18:00.069 --> 00:18:05.130
then be blown up out of proportion. Like, no

00:18:05.130 --> 00:18:10.910
one cares if you ship two characters together.

00:18:11.710 --> 00:18:15.250
Okay? No one cares. A lot of people care, Gabe.

00:18:15.630 --> 00:18:18.619
Okay? They said that. They get it. It's just

00:18:18.619 --> 00:18:20.799
I got bills to worry about. I'm not going to

00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:26.319
care if they ship Izuku Midoriya and Uraoka Ochako

00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.700
or whatever. I don't care at all what people

00:18:29.700 --> 00:18:33.839
do in their free time. I have to work for a living.

00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.400
I'm not going to care. Yeah, I was watching an

00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:39.519
episode of Dr. Phil with Amanda because she loves

00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:43.119
Dr. Phil, but it was about Gen Z. And obviously,

00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:45.519
I don't think all Gen Z is like this, but people

00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:48.400
generalize it. Very much. Millennials are all

00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:50.440
like this. Gen Z is all like this. And I'm like,

00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:53.039
no, that's a part of the internet thing is we're

00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:55.380
all stereotyping and generalizing a group of

00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:59.799
people. However, in this case, it was about how

00:18:59.799 --> 00:19:02.960
a lot of younger generations don't want to work

00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:05.900
and they don't want to put in the effort. And

00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:08.500
there was a girl, Dr. Phil, I wish I remember

00:19:08.500 --> 00:19:10.680
what it was called, what the episode was called,

00:19:11.019 --> 00:19:13.839
but she had said. I don't need to work a nine

00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:15.660
to five. I'm just going to manifest that I'll

00:19:15.660 --> 00:19:21.420
be wealthy. I was like, I love the energy. Don't

00:19:21.420 --> 00:19:23.960
get me wrong. I love the energy. That's not how

00:19:23.960 --> 00:19:29.500
life works. Not in this economy. No, I wish with

00:19:29.500 --> 00:19:32.660
all of my heart that you were right. I 100 %

00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:35.579
wish that I could run for president and be like,

00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:38.799
you know what? We're going to have. a nice stimulus

00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.480
check. So if you're nice to somebody, you get

00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:43.859
$5 ,000 a month. That's not going to happen.

00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:45.980
That's not going to work either, but one can

00:19:45.980 --> 00:19:50.799
dream. Run the world on kindness. That's what

00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:53.599
I would love to do, but that's not how it works.

00:19:53.859 --> 00:19:56.720
And also it doesn't help you build character.

00:19:56.859 --> 00:19:59.400
It doesn't help you go through life's struggles

00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:04.869
and have failures and have moments where you

00:20:04.869 --> 00:20:06.809
don't do something right, and you need to be

00:20:06.809 --> 00:20:08.829
told that you didn't do something right, especially

00:20:08.829 --> 00:20:11.769
at a job. That's how you grow, and that's how

00:20:11.769 --> 00:20:14.609
you take those lessons and better yourself as

00:20:14.609 --> 00:20:18.029
a person. It can be in any situation, doesn't

00:20:18.029 --> 00:20:21.349
have to be with a job only, but saying I'm just

00:20:21.349 --> 00:20:23.730
gonna manifest that I'm gonna make millions of

00:20:23.730 --> 00:20:27.430
dollars by being an influencer, I'm like, the

00:20:27.430 --> 00:20:33.690
people that happens to is very rare. It's not

00:20:33.690 --> 00:20:36.230
just something that they may have had different

00:20:36.230 --> 00:20:39.529
connections. They may have had family that were

00:20:39.529 --> 00:20:42.029
in the business. We don't know. We only know

00:20:42.029 --> 00:20:44.009
what we see on the internet. We don't know what

00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:45.650
goes on behind the scenes. They're not going

00:20:45.650 --> 00:20:48.609
to, usually people don't open up about how they

00:20:48.609 --> 00:20:52.170
got to where they are usually, or they do, but

00:20:52.170 --> 00:20:55.930
they omit quite a bit of stuff. Like who helped

00:20:55.930 --> 00:20:59.650
them, things like that. But hearing them say,

00:20:59.710 --> 00:21:02.930
I don't want to work. Nobody wants to work. No

00:21:02.930 --> 00:21:08.869
one does. Very rarely. Like, I have been blessed

00:21:08.869 --> 00:21:12.769
to be in a working position where I get to work

00:21:12.769 --> 00:21:15.970
in an art gallery all day. So, as an artist,

00:21:16.009 --> 00:21:17.690
I'm like, this is the best job in the world.

00:21:17.769 --> 00:21:20.730
I'm very lucky. Does not pay a lot, but I love

00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:24.650
my job. So, not everyone can say that. Not everyone

00:21:24.650 --> 00:21:27.190
is in the position of, like, loving their job.

00:21:27.589 --> 00:21:30.009
But no, no one wants to work. There are days

00:21:30.009 --> 00:21:32.529
where I... You have to go to work. And I'm like,

00:21:32.549 --> 00:21:36.089
I would rather be at home because I don't want

00:21:36.089 --> 00:21:41.029
to leave the house today. Yeah, it's I have my

00:21:41.029 --> 00:21:43.269
job where I have to drive two hours to go to

00:21:43.269 --> 00:21:47.250
a staff meeting once a month and then drive two

00:21:47.250 --> 00:21:48.869
hours home, which is not as bad as some other

00:21:48.869 --> 00:21:51.690
people have it. But for me and like it's difficult

00:21:51.690 --> 00:21:53.549
because of like my medical stuff that I deal

00:21:53.549 --> 00:21:57.819
with a lot of times that's hard for me to. if

00:21:57.819 --> 00:22:00.700
I'm not feeling well, to then drive two hours

00:22:00.700 --> 00:22:03.880
to go somewhere instead of just being home where

00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:07.160
I have access to what I need if I'm feeling sick.

00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:10.160
And so that's really difficult. Even though it's

00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:12.359
once a month, like it's still difficult, but

00:22:12.359 --> 00:22:14.980
it doesn't mean I'm not going to do it. It means

00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:18.339
that I'm going to do it. It's part of my job.

00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.500
And the only reason I wouldn't do it is if I

00:22:20.500 --> 00:22:23.319
was too sick that day. And then if that were

00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:25.319
the case, I have accommodations through work

00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:29.029
that work with me on that. So sometimes you have

00:22:29.029 --> 00:22:31.410
to go through a lot of really crappy jobs. Like

00:22:31.410 --> 00:22:34.210
I definitely did in human services. There are

00:22:34.210 --> 00:22:37.150
so many jobs that do not care about you as a

00:22:37.150 --> 00:22:38.730
person. They only want you to make money for

00:22:38.730 --> 00:22:42.509
them. Yeah, I could. That could be a whole podcast

00:22:42.509 --> 00:22:45.750
episode of shitty jobs that I work. Oh, my God.

00:22:45.890 --> 00:22:50.410
I have. Yes. This podcast. Next podcast, Gabe

00:22:50.410 --> 00:22:53.069
talks about the terrible service jobs that he

00:22:53.069 --> 00:22:55.349
worked talking about you. Alamo Draft House.

00:22:59.789 --> 00:23:02.849
I could rant about some of the jobs that I've

00:23:02.849 --> 00:23:07.410
had, but I had a hard time finding jobs where

00:23:07.410 --> 00:23:09.450
they would actually work with a medical disability.

00:23:09.930 --> 00:23:12.190
A lot of jobs just want you to be a robot and

00:23:12.190 --> 00:23:14.930
like say you can't do something or, oh, I got

00:23:14.930 --> 00:23:17.049
sick or blah, blah, blah. It's something that

00:23:17.049 --> 00:23:19.089
I've been dealing with since I was 14. It's not

00:23:19.089 --> 00:23:21.529
just going to suddenly go away because you hired

00:23:21.529 --> 00:23:25.329
me. It's not my fault. And so this job that I

00:23:25.329 --> 00:23:29.690
currently have is the first job. that has ever

00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:34.130
even attempted to understand my situation and

00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:36.809
to work with me. So they were like, oh, we're

00:23:36.809 --> 00:23:38.690
going to do this and this and you just let us

00:23:38.690 --> 00:23:40.190
know what's going on and we'll work with you.

00:23:40.250 --> 00:23:42.289
And I was like, oh my God, I'll stay here forever.

00:23:42.910 --> 00:23:45.289
No, for real. That's literally how you build,

00:23:45.289 --> 00:23:48.490
what is it, loyalty in your company that people

00:23:48.490 --> 00:23:51.549
love to preach about. Yeah, there's aspects of

00:23:51.549 --> 00:23:54.700
it that I'm. I'm not happy about, but every single

00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:57.559
job that you ever have is going to be something

00:23:57.559 --> 00:24:00.220
you don't like. The pay isn't enough. The commute

00:24:00.220 --> 00:24:03.680
sucks. Somebody at work you don't like. You have

00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:06.140
a manager you don't like. There's always something

00:24:06.140 --> 00:24:11.059
that people will find. And when I was younger,

00:24:11.140 --> 00:24:16.140
I was so bad about this, fully just exposing

00:24:16.140 --> 00:24:19.049
my younger self. But if I had an inconvenience

00:24:19.049 --> 00:24:21.369
at a job that I worked out of high school, I'd

00:24:21.369 --> 00:24:24.769
just be like, okay, I'm leaving. Like, just didn't

00:24:24.769 --> 00:24:27.509
stay because I was like, I don't like this or

00:24:27.509 --> 00:24:30.009
I don't like this. And that's not, it really

00:24:30.009 --> 00:24:33.750
caught up to me pretty quickly because I realized

00:24:33.750 --> 00:24:37.829
that then the money stopped. Paying for things

00:24:37.829 --> 00:24:41.289
you want stops and it's, oh, maybe I need to

00:24:41.289 --> 00:24:44.799
deal with it and grow up a little bit. Like the

00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:46.680
job I have right now, it's human services. So

00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:49.339
they don't pay a lot because it's like a nonprofit,

00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:52.640
a lot of human services profit because they work

00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:55.079
with like health insurances through the state

00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:59.119
to help people get access to resources. So you

00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:02.539
would think that the job that I have now would

00:25:02.539 --> 00:25:04.559
pay more. They want to pay us more. Don't get

00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:07.259
me wrong. Like my supervisor has gone to bat

00:25:07.259 --> 00:25:10.339
for us over and over again to try to get us a

00:25:10.339 --> 00:25:13.920
better salary. But because we're working through

00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:17.000
the state insurance, it's not always that easy

00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:19.500
because they're not willing to pay us unless

00:25:19.500 --> 00:25:22.559
they see certain numbers and certain statistics.

00:25:22.700 --> 00:25:25.420
And I'm like, we're showing you that like, for

00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:29.559
an example, one of the duties of my job is to

00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:32.180
meet with people in person to do intake paperwork.

00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:35.480
So they come in, they say, my child needs help

00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:37.799
with this. Like an example, they need help with

00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:40.319
an afterschool program or a mentorship program.

00:25:40.589 --> 00:25:43.650
They sign the intake paperwork that allows us

00:25:43.650 --> 00:25:47.029
to be authorized to talk to their primary care

00:25:47.029 --> 00:25:49.569
doctor, their school, and an emergency contact.

00:25:51.289 --> 00:25:52.990
And outside of that, if they have anybody else

00:25:52.990 --> 00:25:54.890
like a therapist or something for the kiddo,

00:25:54.910 --> 00:25:57.529
then they can authorize us to talk to them as

00:25:57.529 --> 00:26:00.269
well. And then what I do is I put everybody together

00:26:00.269 --> 00:26:03.309
in the little care team and talk to each of them

00:26:03.309 --> 00:26:05.589
to make sure that the child's needs are being

00:26:05.589 --> 00:26:08.730
met and that they're getting supported and getting

00:26:08.730 --> 00:26:13.099
services. to help them grow. So if parents are

00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:16.539
having trouble with housing or food, we help

00:26:16.539 --> 00:26:20.000
them apply for benefits that'll help them be

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:25.039
more secure. And that's a really rewarding job,

00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:27.339
especially when it works out for you. When it

00:26:27.339 --> 00:26:29.299
doesn't work out for you and you can only help

00:26:29.299 --> 00:26:33.039
so much, it's heartbreaking. Like it's so hard

00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:36.720
to not be able to wave the magic wand and solve

00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:38.859
all of their problems for that family, especially

00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:41.819
when We need it. It's gut wrenching sometimes.

00:26:41.819 --> 00:26:43.779
And that's why the work is so difficult. It's

00:26:43.779 --> 00:26:46.920
a lot of stress. It's a lot on people who have

00:26:46.920 --> 00:26:49.900
empathy and it doesn't pay a lot. But the work

00:26:49.900 --> 00:26:53.960
that we do is so important that you would think

00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:57.980
we would get paid a lot more money, but that's

00:26:57.980 --> 00:27:00.359
not how it works. But I still love my job with

00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:04.759
all of the good and the frustrating parts of

00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:09.289
it because it allows me to. Pay for my bills

00:27:09.289 --> 00:27:11.750
and I sometimes don't have gas money for the

00:27:11.750 --> 00:27:16.529
week, but it's okay. I'll figure it out But yeah,

00:27:16.529 --> 00:27:19.589
it's when I see people say things like that or

00:27:19.589 --> 00:27:21.829
Younger generations saying they don't want to

00:27:21.829 --> 00:27:23.869
work or they just want to be an influencer. It's

00:27:23.869 --> 00:27:27.430
not that easy It's not and you have to be incredibly

00:27:27.430 --> 00:27:31.589
lucky to be an influencer Yeah, because all they're

00:27:31.589 --> 00:27:33.490
seeing is the success and they're not seeing

00:27:33.490 --> 00:27:37.049
the luck or the millions of people who have failed

00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:43.460
Not every YouTuber that you watch that has like

00:27:43.460 --> 00:27:46.460
hundreds of thousands of subscribers is going

00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:49.359
to be a success story. You can't just put all

00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:51.720
your eggs in a basket and then hope that it doesn't

00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:54.960
have holes. And it's one of those things where

00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:58.619
I think there's so much. It's like romanticizing

00:27:58.619 --> 00:28:01.519
the idea of being an influencer where it is.

00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:03.759
It's like you said, it's very rare. You have

00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.680
to be very lucky. You have to fit a certain like

00:28:06.829 --> 00:28:11.109
niche that needs to be filled. And even then,

00:28:11.849 --> 00:28:14.849
I remember like when YouTube was a thing, when

00:28:14.849 --> 00:28:19.170
it started, the influencers were just like people

00:28:19.170 --> 00:28:21.450
that came on to show how they did their eye shadow

00:28:21.450 --> 00:28:24.150
and talking about little things that they bought

00:28:24.150 --> 00:28:29.750
at Sephora or something. No, no, no ad. Not sponsored.

00:28:31.269 --> 00:28:35.269
But it's and then it turns into. One person does

00:28:35.269 --> 00:28:37.210
really well, it becomes a job. And then people

00:28:37.210 --> 00:28:39.369
are like, oh, this is possible. Yes, it's possible.

00:28:39.410 --> 00:28:41.029
And you should believe in yourself and you should

00:28:41.029 --> 00:28:44.309
follow your dreams. Be realistic about it though.

00:28:45.109 --> 00:28:48.289
If I could just wave the magic wand and manifest,

00:28:48.390 --> 00:28:50.829
I would be on Broadway right now with no medical

00:28:50.829 --> 00:28:55.430
issues. Like a lot of my stuff holds me back

00:28:55.430 --> 00:28:59.529
from even pursuing those things because I'm worried

00:28:59.529 --> 00:29:03.509
that it's... going to cause issues for whoever

00:29:03.509 --> 00:29:06.049
I work for, like, especially an in -person job.

00:29:06.250 --> 00:29:08.869
So something like Broadway, while it would be

00:29:08.869 --> 00:29:13.190
a dream, it would be difficult just being realistic.

00:29:13.769 --> 00:29:16.450
So I try to find ways around that. I try to find

00:29:16.450 --> 00:29:21.170
other methods of acting, singing, putting out

00:29:21.170 --> 00:29:23.990
stories, things like that. And you have to learn

00:29:23.990 --> 00:29:27.609
to adapt and pivot and not everything is going

00:29:27.609 --> 00:29:29.970
to work out the way that you want it to work

00:29:29.970 --> 00:29:37.390
out. Yeah, definitely not like It's you have

00:29:37.390 --> 00:29:40.430
to be passionate. I feel like you have if you're

00:29:40.430 --> 00:29:43.569
going to go after if you want to be youtuber

00:29:43.569 --> 00:29:46.710
right if you want to be youtuber or an influencer

00:29:46.710 --> 00:29:52.529
or Whatever on the internet you got to be Super

00:29:52.529 --> 00:29:55.109
passionate about what you're doing because for

00:29:55.109 --> 00:29:58.730
a long time if at all you're not gonna nothing's

00:29:58.730 --> 00:30:03.720
gonna happen. Yeah, like No online artist is

00:30:03.720 --> 00:30:08.259
going to start posting and get immediately like

00:30:08.259 --> 00:30:11.779
100 followers on Twitter or anything like that.

00:30:12.220 --> 00:30:14.700
You just have to you're going to be shouting

00:30:14.700 --> 00:30:19.259
to avoid for probably a very long time, if not

00:30:19.259 --> 00:30:22.339
five people, which is still a lot. Some people

00:30:22.339 --> 00:30:26.259
are like, oh, I only got 30 views on my YouTube

00:30:26.259 --> 00:30:28.599
or whatever. And it's that's 30 whole people.

00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:31.509
That's a classroom. thighs, like that's still

00:30:31.509 --> 00:30:34.029
a lot of people. Can you imagine 30 people right

00:30:34.029 --> 00:30:37.529
now in front of you? That's a lot of people that

00:30:37.529 --> 00:30:40.569
is talking to a crowd. And even if it's just

00:30:40.569 --> 00:30:43.769
14 or 15 people, that's still a crowd. You are

00:30:43.769 --> 00:30:47.309
now on a soapbox being like people are seeing

00:30:47.309 --> 00:30:50.950
you. So those numbers, though they're small in

00:30:50.950 --> 00:30:53.150
comparison to others, are still very important.

00:30:53.809 --> 00:30:55.930
But yeah, you should if you want to do anything

00:30:55.930 --> 00:30:59.210
creative, you have to have the passion and the

00:30:59.210 --> 00:31:03.099
drive. to just put yourself out there and fully

00:31:03.099 --> 00:31:06.559
commit, which a lot of people don't realize that

00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:10.140
they have to do. You have to expose yourself

00:31:10.140 --> 00:31:15.759
in so many different ways to just be an artist.

00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:18.460
Even then, there's like a lot of things that

00:31:18.460 --> 00:31:22.640
you also have to sacrifice in order to get to

00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:25.339
where you want to be. Like, it's not going to

00:31:25.339 --> 00:31:27.160
be easy. It's never going to be something where

00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:29.019
you're like, oh, I just did this and it was fine.

00:31:29.480 --> 00:31:37.539
I didn't have to risk anything or that's not

00:31:37.539 --> 00:31:41.740
how it works. Even the people that are really

00:31:41.740 --> 00:31:45.119
big music people right now or actors talk a lot

00:31:45.119 --> 00:31:47.980
about what they've had to sacrifice or what they've

00:31:47.980 --> 00:31:53.579
had to do in order to get to where they are.

00:31:53.700 --> 00:31:56.500
And it's sometimes something very uncomfortable.

00:31:59.130 --> 00:32:03.509
Is that worth it? Is that something that morally

00:32:03.509 --> 00:32:08.769
you can do? It's you might get these offers or

00:32:08.769 --> 00:32:11.289
these moments that are presented to you, but

00:32:11.289 --> 00:32:15.130
it's always going to come with something else.

00:32:15.970 --> 00:32:18.730
Yeah. So you have to, and I think people learn

00:32:18.730 --> 00:32:22.670
that over time as well. I don't think they always

00:32:22.670 --> 00:32:25.650
necessarily just learn it right away. Like you

00:32:25.650 --> 00:32:28.829
have to go through. trials and you have to go

00:32:28.829 --> 00:32:31.210
through failures and hard times for you to like

00:32:31.210 --> 00:32:34.150
really understand. Yeah, absolutely. I entirely

00:32:34.150 --> 00:32:37.990
agree with that. Yeah. It's rough. It's hard.

00:32:38.670 --> 00:32:44.750
And I've had my own share of issues and trying

00:32:44.750 --> 00:32:48.849
to go into the world of being successful. And

00:32:48.849 --> 00:32:50.990
I hope it still works out one day, but it may

00:32:50.990 --> 00:32:53.130
not work out the way I originally thought that

00:32:53.130 --> 00:32:55.210
it would. It might be different. It might be

00:32:55.210 --> 00:32:59.140
completely. something else that you never expected,

00:32:59.180 --> 00:33:04.359
but it's still successful. Yeah. So, yeah. And

00:33:04.359 --> 00:33:06.900
I feel like there's a lot of pressure, especially

00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:10.740
online, to have success be a number, be like

00:33:10.740 --> 00:33:12.759
a certain amount of followers or a certain amount

00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:15.819
of views. But a lot of the time, success can

00:33:15.819 --> 00:33:19.279
just be the fact that you made something. You

00:33:19.279 --> 00:33:25.029
made a post or you made a. a video or something

00:33:25.029 --> 00:33:27.730
that you're proud of that people get to see,

00:33:27.990 --> 00:33:30.609
get to experience and get to connect with. And

00:33:30.609 --> 00:33:33.650
I feel like that gets lost sometimes through

00:33:33.650 --> 00:33:36.829
the online space because everyone is just consuming

00:33:36.829 --> 00:33:41.289
so much. We don't take the time to really look

00:33:41.289 --> 00:33:44.549
at what's being produced. Like all the work that

00:33:44.549 --> 00:33:47.829
goes into a YouTube video that's six seconds

00:33:47.829 --> 00:33:51.819
long. That could have taken that creator a week

00:33:51.819 --> 00:33:56.380
or a month to do and Yeah, I feel like that's

00:33:56.380 --> 00:33:58.240
like another thing is there's a lot of work that

00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:04.359
goes into stuff that We online just take for

00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:07.539
granted because we're like, oh that was cool

00:34:07.539 --> 00:34:12.179
next thing, you know, and even for me like there's

00:34:12.769 --> 00:34:15.889
I've reached out because I'm a singer and I've

00:34:15.889 --> 00:34:17.809
tried to get like a talent agent for the longest

00:34:17.809 --> 00:34:21.949
time and that's very That's extremely hard, especially

00:34:21.949 --> 00:34:25.849
since most talent agents don't want just like

00:34:25.849 --> 00:34:29.230
cold pitches, but like how well how other How

00:34:29.230 --> 00:34:32.969
what other way? Yes, am I gonna connect with

00:34:32.969 --> 00:34:35.710
you? Like obviously you talk and stuff, but then

00:34:35.710 --> 00:34:39.079
at some point that's gonna come up Sometimes

00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:41.539
people will say that they do one thing and then

00:34:41.539 --> 00:34:43.840
they get back to you and say oh, this is great

00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:47.539
Not the right time. Yeah, and that's really a

00:34:47.539 --> 00:34:50.960
huge bummer but it's happened so often to me

00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:53.420
like especially recently with me trying to branch

00:34:53.420 --> 00:34:57.059
out and Find an agent. It's difficult because

00:34:57.059 --> 00:35:00.079
there are so many people who want to be in that

00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:05.219
space and want to be represented and The person

00:35:05.219 --> 00:35:09.559
that is taking those people in and representing

00:35:09.559 --> 00:35:12.119
them, they have to be very selective. It's nothing

00:35:12.119 --> 00:35:14.159
against you as a person. It doesn't mean that

00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:16.599
your talent isn't good enough. It just might

00:35:16.599 --> 00:35:19.039
not be the right moment or it may not be the

00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:26.019
right person. And it's all a lesson in hearing

00:35:26.019 --> 00:35:30.000
no and being okay with that or seeing something

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:33.760
not work out the way you want it to and being

00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:36.940
okay with that. Whereas Looping back to people

00:35:36.940 --> 00:35:39.380
being on the internet. We don't really see that

00:35:39.380 --> 00:35:42.880
Yeah, we don't see people getting a thousand

00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:47.159
nos Versus the one. Yes that they got yeah, absolutely.

00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:50.320
We just see we always just see the success and

00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:55.960
never the rejection that people go through I

00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:58.880
can guarantee you people who are huge now have

00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.199
also dealt with a lot of rejection They don't

00:36:01.199 --> 00:36:04.559
just they're not just born a star and then everything

00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:07.719
goes their way from day one. That's not how it

00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:11.960
works So I try to humble myself by thinking that

00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:14.059
way too because sometimes when I get really bummed

00:36:14.059 --> 00:36:17.179
out or I see Like successful people online. I'm

00:36:17.179 --> 00:36:19.760
like, oh, I'm not trying hard enough, but that's

00:36:19.820 --> 00:36:22.900
it's not necessarily true that just means that

00:36:22.900 --> 00:36:24.840
it's not the right place or it's not the right

00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:28.559
time and Everybody's life journey is different.

00:36:29.019 --> 00:36:31.059
Yeah, absolutely. I think the biggest thing that

00:36:31.059 --> 00:36:34.539
we've talked about obviously in this episode

00:36:34.539 --> 00:36:38.619
is surrounding a lot about identity online and

00:36:38.619 --> 00:36:41.079
Because I feel like that's the one of the biggest

00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:44.079
things that happens on the internet is your identity

00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:47.659
how you Present yourself to the world what you

00:36:47.659 --> 00:36:52.019
want who you idolize Jobs, I remember back in

00:36:52.019 --> 00:36:54.460
the old day when we had to go to the store and

00:36:54.460 --> 00:37:00.199
paper application Back in the old days when you

00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:03.380
had to go and ask if they were hiring Yeah, I

00:37:03.380 --> 00:37:05.860
will say I do have something to say that's interesting

00:37:05.860 --> 00:37:08.780
because you bring up jobs. I do find it interesting

00:37:08.780 --> 00:37:12.519
that Especially because I don't have a Twitter

00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:15.409
just because I don't really like it, never liked

00:37:15.409 --> 00:37:20.070
it. But I find it really interesting that certain

00:37:20.070 --> 00:37:24.550
people, certain jobs that are hiring people will

00:37:24.550 --> 00:37:29.570
look at your Twitter or your Facebook to see

00:37:29.570 --> 00:37:33.010
what you post. If it's like raunchy language

00:37:33.010 --> 00:37:38.190
or even just like what you did today. Like if

00:37:38.190 --> 00:37:41.119
you were to, if you were texting or tweeting

00:37:41.119 --> 00:37:44.960
or something on while you were on shift. And

00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:49.300
I'm like, that's insane to me that we live in

00:37:49.300 --> 00:37:55.679
a society where you can't be yourself online

00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:02.440
without it. Hurting your job, because I'm Tumblr

00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:06.300
born and bred, my only social media choice is

00:38:06.300 --> 00:38:09.380
Tumblr, and obviously it has a way stronger.

00:38:10.130 --> 00:38:13.429
anonymity than Facebook and Instagram and Twitter.

00:38:13.530 --> 00:38:15.969
It's not attached to your name or your phone

00:38:15.969 --> 00:38:17.829
number or anything like that. You just need an

00:38:17.829 --> 00:38:22.130
email for a Tumblr. So no one from my job can

00:38:22.130 --> 00:38:28.650
see me on Tumblr cursing or calling for representation

00:38:28.650 --> 00:38:31.530
in the government and be like, oh, he's fired.

00:38:32.090 --> 00:38:35.849
So it's just, it's just so interesting how social

00:38:35.849 --> 00:38:41.079
media has this huge impact on Who you are as

00:38:41.079 --> 00:38:47.599
a person when before that it was like No one

00:38:47.599 --> 00:38:49.920
knew you had an opinion. Does that make sense?

00:38:50.340 --> 00:38:55.300
Yeah and now it's like we're In the age now where

00:38:55.300 --> 00:38:57.199
it's like you can have opinion, but your opinion

00:38:57.199 --> 00:38:59.340
is wrong And so I'm gonna be upset with you about

00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:02.280
it. Exactly. Yeah, it could be an opinion over

00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:05.400
mint chocolate chip ice cream and Now you're

00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:08.889
getting doxed or swatted or something like that.

00:39:09.170 --> 00:39:13.929
And it's and it's insane that people find these

00:39:13.929 --> 00:39:17.929
hills to die on when they're just they're like

00:39:17.929 --> 00:39:21.869
molehills. And it's not that deep. It's a crater,

00:39:22.010 --> 00:39:27.170
my dog. It's not even. And it's like you're arguing

00:39:27.170 --> 00:39:29.050
with people that you don't know who you've never

00:39:29.050 --> 00:39:31.429
met, who have no idea what this person has been

00:39:31.429 --> 00:39:34.949
through. You have no idea. Anything, really?

00:39:35.269 --> 00:39:37.889
And yeah. It's just one of those things where,

00:39:38.610 --> 00:39:40.650
you know, I don't know if I'm aging myself by

00:39:40.650 --> 00:39:43.530
being like, I almost missed the days when it

00:39:43.530 --> 00:39:46.349
was like, mind your business. Yeah. Obviously,

00:39:46.349 --> 00:39:48.590
if someone's doing something really bad, then

00:39:48.590 --> 00:39:50.969
having them held accountable for it, that makes

00:39:50.969 --> 00:39:54.630
sense. But that, though, it's like, really, the

00:39:54.630 --> 00:39:57.050
people in their lives are like their core people

00:39:57.050 --> 00:39:59.329
that are around them every day. Shouldn't they

00:39:59.329 --> 00:40:02.309
be responsible for doing that? Yeah, exactly.

00:40:02.889 --> 00:40:07.079
Or the actual people like in law enforcement

00:40:07.079 --> 00:40:09.559
or something like that where, you know, somebody

00:40:09.559 --> 00:40:11.380
that's doing something wrong needs to be handled

00:40:11.380 --> 00:40:15.699
by the people who are who are actively there.

00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:19.519
And we did a whole thing on cancel culture, which

00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:23.960
I still have. I have thoughts about, but it worries

00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:26.940
me for the state of our community and our society

00:40:26.940 --> 00:40:31.920
that everybody is so willing to. villainize and

00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:34.659
gang up on other people without knowing both

00:40:34.659 --> 00:40:37.800
sides, without having the full story, without

00:40:37.800 --> 00:40:43.380
really knowing what goes on in somebody's life.

00:40:43.440 --> 00:40:45.719
And it's not necessarily an excuse, like they

00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:48.260
do something bad, they do something bad. Then

00:40:48.260 --> 00:40:50.960
when it comes to cancel culture on the internet,

00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:54.300
especially, that can affect a job, that can affect

00:40:54.300 --> 00:40:57.119
that person's life, that can really harm them.

00:40:57.659 --> 00:41:02.219
And people doing it, Don't care and it's sad

00:41:02.219 --> 00:41:04.639
and it shows a lack of empathy. It shows a lack

00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:09.719
of respect for yourself Honestly, yeah. No, absolutely

00:41:09.719 --> 00:41:12.440
if you're so miserable in your own life that

00:41:12.440 --> 00:41:16.920
you have to Try to tear somebody else down Just

00:41:16.920 --> 00:41:20.980
make yourself feel better You need to do something

00:41:20.980 --> 00:41:23.199
about that. There needs to be some soul searching

00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:25.559
there needs to be some therapy there needs to

00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:29.199
be something going on yeah, and Then the internet

00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:32.880
though is a bunch of like this I've seen so many

00:41:32.880 --> 00:41:35.699
youtubers, especially like really big youtubers

00:41:35.699 --> 00:41:40.480
when you get that big it's hard to Deal with

00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:42.559
because you have so many eyes on you already.

00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:45.940
Yes, and I can only imagine how celebrities feel

00:41:45.940 --> 00:41:48.539
like I've said a million times before People

00:41:48.539 --> 00:41:50.519
worship celebrities. I'm like, these are just

00:41:50.519 --> 00:41:54.440
people Yeah They're literally, I bet you anything

00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:57.079
Ariana Grande goes home, takes a mad shit, and

00:41:57.079 --> 00:42:00.119
then goes to sleep. No, for real. And she probably

00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:04.119
sings while she does it, but it's okay. They're

00:42:04.119 --> 00:42:07.559
not these gods and goddesses and deities walking

00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:10.360
among us. These are people who have a different

00:42:10.360 --> 00:42:12.679
job than we do, that they just happen to get

00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:16.530
paid a lot for that job. Yeah. they still have

00:42:16.530 --> 00:42:18.889
a right to privacy they still have a right to

00:42:18.889 --> 00:42:21.730
basic human rights where they don't need to worry

00:42:21.730 --> 00:42:24.550
about constantly being scrutinized for their

00:42:24.550 --> 00:42:28.070
books or their way or how much how much somebody's

00:42:28.070 --> 00:42:30.730
making on a movie too is like crazy to me because

00:42:30.730 --> 00:42:34.050
that should be between like the person and the

00:42:34.050 --> 00:42:36.969
person paying them yeah i feel and maybe i'm

00:42:36.969 --> 00:42:39.489
wrong with that i don't know if that's necessarily

00:42:39.489 --> 00:42:41.630
supposed to be public knowledge but i feel like

00:42:41.630 --> 00:42:45.820
everything now is so publicized and there's less

00:42:45.820 --> 00:42:49.480
privacy just for people. So they feel exposed

00:42:49.480 --> 00:42:52.519
and they feel like the world is watching them.

00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:55.199
They can't just do their jobs and do what they

00:42:55.199 --> 00:42:59.280
love anymore without worrying about group A over

00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:02.780
here, hating them, wanting to dox them or wanting

00:43:02.780 --> 00:43:05.460
to hurt them or doing whatever. And it's not

00:43:05.460 --> 00:43:08.000
just necessarily celebrities. It's in every facet

00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:12.800
of life. Yeah. The internet gives that pathway

00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:17.119
to just. Say whatever you want behind the screen,

00:43:17.139 --> 00:43:20.260
no matter how mean or nasty it is. But if you

00:43:20.260 --> 00:43:24.400
were faced with that person in person. Nine times

00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:26.099
out of 10, you're not going to say those things

00:43:26.099 --> 00:43:29.719
to them. Yeah. And it just also breeds like this

00:43:29.719 --> 00:43:33.940
sense of like false righteousness almost. Or

00:43:33.940 --> 00:43:37.460
it's like purity culture where I'm right. You're

00:43:37.460 --> 00:43:40.170
wrong. You're always going to be wrong. I don't

00:43:40.170 --> 00:43:42.829
care about your intentions. I don't care if it

00:43:42.829 --> 00:43:45.690
was an honest mistake. You did something wrong

00:43:45.690 --> 00:43:48.510
and it can be as small as someone tripping over

00:43:48.510 --> 00:43:51.309
a dog. Be like, oh, you kicked that dog, dude.

00:43:51.489 --> 00:43:53.829
You totally kicked that guy. No, I tripped up

00:43:53.829 --> 00:43:56.230
now and they won't listen to you no matter what

00:43:56.230 --> 00:43:59.230
you say, because they have already decided that

00:43:59.230 --> 00:44:03.690
you kicked that dog. And it's and because of

00:44:03.690 --> 00:44:07.389
the way the Internet is so rapid, now everyone

00:44:07.389 --> 00:44:11.349
will think. or know that you are a dog kicker

00:44:11.349 --> 00:44:14.389
and and now you can't and now you can't suddenly

00:44:14.389 --> 00:44:16.329
you can't work at a McDonald's because it's like

00:44:16.329 --> 00:44:18.710
oh you're a dog kicker dude you can't be in here

00:44:18.710 --> 00:44:21.969
and it's I didn't kick the dog I made us and

00:44:21.969 --> 00:44:24.710
also just like the virality of the internet is

00:44:24.710 --> 00:44:29.469
also incredibly interesting in a bad way because

00:44:29.469 --> 00:44:33.829
it's like the post that calls you a dog kicker

00:44:33.829 --> 00:44:38.400
will always be more engaged than the post you

00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:42.980
make saying, I tripped over a dog. So now, because

00:44:42.980 --> 00:44:45.179
even if you say even if you clear everything

00:44:45.179 --> 00:44:48.179
up, if your post doesn't get as much engagement

00:44:48.179 --> 00:44:52.059
as the original, you're now a dog kicker. Sorry,

00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:54.780
in the form of public opinion, you have kicked

00:44:54.780 --> 00:44:58.539
the dog. So it's it's almost like at this point,

00:44:58.760 --> 00:45:01.719
why even be on the Internet saying an opinion

00:45:01.719 --> 00:45:04.139
doing anything if you're especially with someone

00:45:04.139 --> 00:45:08.630
like me who has like massive anxiety, I am almost

00:45:08.630 --> 00:45:11.849
afraid to, I was afraid, I'm not as afraid right

00:45:11.849 --> 00:45:16.849
now to share my public opinion on things because

00:45:16.849 --> 00:45:20.309
it can be twisted around or I could lose my job

00:45:20.309 --> 00:45:23.789
or I could lose opportunities just because I'm

00:45:23.789 --> 00:45:27.150
saying anything. It could literally just be like,

00:45:27.369 --> 00:45:29.570
you know what? I think that character is actually

00:45:29.570 --> 00:45:33.590
straight. Be like, no time up to the branch post.

00:45:33.750 --> 00:45:37.380
Yeah. like has set him on fire and it's the fact

00:45:37.380 --> 00:45:40.880
that people have that fear at all to say anything

00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:44.539
on the internet is insane and very frightening

00:45:44.539 --> 00:45:47.659
because it's okay so now i can't say anything

00:45:47.659 --> 00:45:51.539
ever i can never have an opinion i can never

00:45:51.539 --> 00:45:56.340
be public with who i am because of how people

00:45:56.340 --> 00:45:59.139
may react to me that because that's how anxiety

00:45:59.139 --> 00:46:01.780
works although this could happen so you shouldn't

00:46:01.780 --> 00:46:06.030
do it And it's even when people apologize for

00:46:06.030 --> 00:46:09.349
things that they've been doing. You're apologizing

00:46:09.349 --> 00:46:10.889
to a bunch of people that probably won't even

00:46:10.889 --> 00:46:14.570
accept your apology anyway. And they've already

00:46:14.570 --> 00:46:17.809
decided that you're a horrible human being. So

00:46:17.809 --> 00:46:21.309
one of the biggest things that I've learned in

00:46:21.309 --> 00:46:25.730
my failures and my attempts when my business

00:46:25.730 --> 00:46:30.789
went down, one of my things is that I was working

00:46:30.789 --> 00:46:36.699
so much. that I barely had time and not even

00:46:36.699 --> 00:46:39.619
that I barely had time. I was like on my phone

00:46:39.619 --> 00:46:41.840
and on my computer constantly because I was always

00:46:41.840 --> 00:46:43.659
worried that something was going to go tits up.

00:46:44.519 --> 00:46:47.940
And at one point my wife was like, you, are you

00:46:47.940 --> 00:46:49.760
going to be not working tonight so we can spend

00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:53.840
time together? Yeah. And I was like, oh, it was

00:46:53.840 --> 00:46:57.769
in that moment where I really realized that how

00:46:57.769 --> 00:47:00.730
easily, not even necessarily if you have a business

00:47:00.730 --> 00:47:03.150
or not, but how easily you can be sucked into

00:47:03.150 --> 00:47:05.289
the internet with people that don't even know

00:47:05.289 --> 00:47:10.090
you. Like my wife is somebody I married who's

00:47:10.090 --> 00:47:13.269
like I've been with for onward six years. This

00:47:13.269 --> 00:47:16.489
is my ride or die. Her opinion of me matters

00:47:16.489 --> 00:47:20.469
to me more than random people on the internet

00:47:20.469 --> 00:47:23.070
who are gonna say whatever they're gonna say.

00:47:23.550 --> 00:47:28.239
It just, it doesn't make sense to me. how toxic

00:47:28.239 --> 00:47:32.119
and nasty people can be over the internet because

00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:37.500
they can hide and they can pretend to be like

00:47:37.500 --> 00:47:40.420
the savior or the white knight on the horse.

00:47:41.260 --> 00:47:47.320
Just go outside. Go outside. Go have actual conversations

00:47:47.320 --> 00:47:49.360
with people. And if you, if some, if you don't

00:47:49.360 --> 00:47:53.880
like somebody, ignore them. Maybe just it's not

00:47:54.010 --> 00:47:57.989
your problem. It's the person's problem that's

00:47:57.989 --> 00:48:01.570
around that person every day. And like that person

00:48:01.570 --> 00:48:04.269
has to deal with them. That's, and I've seen

00:48:04.269 --> 00:48:06.769
this with tons of people, not just my own experience,

00:48:06.889 --> 00:48:10.949
but tons of people. And people don't even want

00:48:10.949 --> 00:48:13.389
to be on the internet anymore. There's no enjoyment

00:48:13.389 --> 00:48:15.429
on the internet anymore because they're afraid

00:48:15.429 --> 00:48:17.429
that people are going to take something that

00:48:17.429 --> 00:48:21.309
was done or said in a way that makes them look

00:48:21.309 --> 00:48:23.309
like a monster when it's actually there's like

00:48:23.309 --> 00:48:27.019
these this huge other half of the story that

00:48:27.019 --> 00:48:29.719
you're omitting and that you have no clue what

00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:32.340
you're talking about. Or you're just testing

00:48:32.340 --> 00:48:36.179
your narrative, which is ridiculous. Let them

00:48:36.179 --> 00:48:38.360
live their life. If they do something they don't

00:48:38.360 --> 00:48:43.639
agree with, don't engage with them. It's that

00:48:43.639 --> 00:48:45.519
simple. It's like somebody in real life, too.

00:48:45.519 --> 00:48:47.420
If you have a coworker you don't like, you're

00:48:47.420 --> 00:48:50.260
not going to go out of your way to, I would hope

00:48:50.260 --> 00:48:52.780
not, spread rumors about that person at work.

00:48:52.920 --> 00:48:57.340
You might have literally no life. What do you

00:48:57.340 --> 00:49:02.059
get out of tearing people down? Because at the

00:49:02.059 --> 00:49:04.960
end of the day, that's going to weigh on your

00:49:04.960 --> 00:49:07.780
soul and your energy. Even if you don't realize

00:49:07.780 --> 00:49:10.599
it now, that's going to hurt you in the long

00:49:10.599 --> 00:49:13.579
run. It's going to really turn you into a person

00:49:13.579 --> 00:49:16.119
that you never thought you could end up being.

00:49:17.139 --> 00:49:21.860
I would hope that you wouldn't want to be. And

00:49:21.860 --> 00:49:24.880
empathy is lost on the Internet, which is so

00:49:24.880 --> 00:49:28.039
sad because we need that, especially in our society

00:49:28.039 --> 00:49:32.099
right now. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people

00:49:32.099 --> 00:49:35.559
on the Internet, as soon as they encounter anything

00:49:35.559 --> 00:49:42.739
that is. Like. mildly wrong, not even just like

00:49:42.739 --> 00:49:45.320
it's not black and white. It's not even like

00:49:45.320 --> 00:49:48.559
a dark gray. It's like a medium gray. It's like

00:49:48.559 --> 00:49:52.219
a slightly a bad thing, not the best thing. And

00:49:52.219 --> 00:49:56.940
they're like, OK, person spike now. And they

00:49:56.940 --> 00:50:02.719
just they feel like the need to expose people

00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:07.610
for. Mistakes or shortcomings that they either

00:50:07.610 --> 00:50:11.030
eventually rectify or aren't even major sins

00:50:11.030 --> 00:50:14.809
Not even major taboos like there are really big

00:50:14.809 --> 00:50:17.230
social taboos should that should absolutely be

00:50:17.230 --> 00:50:20.510
called out on And I'm not even gonna mention

00:50:20.510 --> 00:50:22.630
it because everyone knows what they are Yeah,

00:50:22.630 --> 00:50:25.710
but very clear one that we the very clear ones

00:50:25.710 --> 00:50:29.769
that we can all agree on yes Like pouring the

00:50:29.769 --> 00:50:35.460
milk before your cereal But even if it's a mild

00:50:35.460 --> 00:50:40.280
stuff, like, God, I don't know. Damn, I totally

00:50:40.280 --> 00:50:43.619
forgot to do this thing for you that you were

00:50:43.619 --> 00:50:46.420
relying me on. That's my bad. And then that person

00:50:46.420 --> 00:50:48.440
will go around and be like, oh, this person's

00:50:48.440 --> 00:50:50.780
an ableist cuck. Sorry, I probably can't say

00:50:50.780 --> 00:50:55.559
that. This person is an ableist. Okay, this person

00:50:55.559 --> 00:50:59.449
is an ableist dumb. But I'm trying not to curse.

00:50:59.789 --> 00:51:02.170
I feel so awkward. I'm going to curse. You'll

00:51:02.170 --> 00:51:05.869
believe it anyway. This is a ableist who just

00:51:05.869 --> 00:51:08.909
doesn't cater to me and my whims. And they totally

00:51:08.909 --> 00:51:10.889
forgot about me. So therefore, they don't care

00:51:10.889 --> 00:51:14.429
about me, the disabled person. And it's no, I

00:51:14.429 --> 00:51:19.150
just genuinely forgot. Yeah. Or even if it was

00:51:19.150 --> 00:51:23.000
if there's no malicious intent. You gotta just

00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:25.500
let it go my guy. Let people learn from their

00:51:25.500 --> 00:51:28.780
mistakes Exactly. You can't just assume that

00:51:28.780 --> 00:51:31.360
everyone is a bad person Just because you're

00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:34.880
not getting your way or it looks bad on paper

00:51:34.880 --> 00:51:39.159
If I were to say to someone straight up, oh my

00:51:39.159 --> 00:51:42.559
friend Didn't follow my boundaries. It would

00:51:42.559 --> 00:51:45.639
be like, oh, that's a terrible person but if

00:51:45.639 --> 00:51:49.099
I were to add on the fact that oh Yeah, my friend

00:51:49.099 --> 00:51:53.780
forgot my boundaries because they have problem

00:51:53.780 --> 00:51:55.960
remembering things and it needs to be repeated

00:51:55.960 --> 00:51:58.059
multiple times before it gets into their head.

00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:00.000
In that case, they're still like they're not

00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:02.000
the best person. They're forgetting boundaries,

00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:04.380
but they you have to you have to give them a

00:52:04.380 --> 00:52:07.559
little leeway because it's they're still learning.

00:52:07.960 --> 00:52:09.460
They're growing from their mistakes and they

00:52:09.460 --> 00:52:12.559
have apologized or they are working on it because

00:52:12.559 --> 00:52:14.400
they're like, oh, they've forgotten multiple

00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:18.099
times and it's OK. But are they learning? Yeah,

00:52:18.099 --> 00:52:21.320
but are they growing and. A lot of people are

00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:25.099
just like, no, everyone is stagnant. Stop. Now

00:52:25.099 --> 00:52:27.639
we are human beings. We have fleshy little brains

00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:29.719
that love to grow and develop because that's

00:52:29.719 --> 00:52:33.340
what they do. So if we're decent people, we're

00:52:33.340 --> 00:52:35.239
going to continue to grow. We're going to continue

00:52:35.239 --> 00:52:37.800
to learn. No one is perfect straight out of the

00:52:37.800 --> 00:52:43.099
womb. So just give people some grace. I think

00:52:43.099 --> 00:52:46.159
it's like that thing where it's that moment where

00:52:46.159 --> 00:52:48.880
people feel. I don't know if this is the right

00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:51.500
word, but they feel validated if they have an

00:52:51.500 --> 00:52:54.199
opinion that other people follow even if it's

00:52:54.199 --> 00:53:00.539
opinion that is on it even if it's an opinion

00:53:00.539 --> 00:53:02.619
that they're just following because they want

00:53:02.619 --> 00:53:06.119
something to do and they're bored and people

00:53:06.119 --> 00:53:10.460
want to bond over either loving somebody or hating

00:53:10.460 --> 00:53:13.059
somebody or there's a sense of community even

00:53:13.059 --> 00:53:18.650
when it's toxic and it's something that I realized

00:53:18.650 --> 00:53:21.449
too, and I go through, and I do a lot of self

00:53:21.449 --> 00:53:25.289
-reflection daily. I always look back on things

00:53:25.289 --> 00:53:27.289
that I've done and try to think, what could I

00:53:27.289 --> 00:53:31.329
have done better? How do I see myself now versus

00:53:31.329 --> 00:53:34.730
how I was acting then? There are so many things

00:53:34.730 --> 00:53:38.630
that I did wrong in my life. Oh my God. The way

00:53:38.630 --> 00:53:40.809
that I can look at that and take accountability

00:53:40.809 --> 00:53:43.369
for it. That's what helps me grow and help me

00:53:43.369 --> 00:53:46.590
learn how to approach the situations later on

00:53:46.590 --> 00:53:50.769
in life. Yeah. Not continuously make those mistakes.

00:53:51.250 --> 00:53:54.570
But a lot of people feel that on both, on both

00:53:54.570 --> 00:53:56.090
ends, a lot of people feel like they make one

00:53:56.090 --> 00:53:58.289
mistake. They're damned. Like they're a bad person

00:53:58.289 --> 00:54:00.730
forever. They shouldn't even try anymore. Like

00:54:00.730 --> 00:54:03.869
we, we had a friend that was like that who they

00:54:03.869 --> 00:54:08.829
were. very pessimistic about life. And because

00:54:08.829 --> 00:54:12.369
things had happened to them, it was, the world

00:54:12.369 --> 00:54:14.530
owes me something. The world doesn't owe you

00:54:14.530 --> 00:54:16.570
anything. The world doesn't owe anybody anything.

00:54:17.190 --> 00:54:21.469
Like you were dealt a hand of cards in your life

00:54:21.469 --> 00:54:26.110
and you deal with it. And if people don't like

00:54:26.110 --> 00:54:29.340
you, Go about your day. You don't need to express

00:54:29.340 --> 00:54:31.400
that you don't like somebody. There's no point

00:54:31.400 --> 00:54:33.920
in doing that. You're wasting your time and making

00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:38.380
yourself look hateful. And there's so much hate

00:54:38.380 --> 00:54:42.599
in the world already that it makes no sense to

00:54:42.599 --> 00:54:45.400
put more hateful energy into the world. Like

00:54:45.400 --> 00:54:47.639
it makes more sense to be like, oh, I don't like

00:54:47.639 --> 00:54:50.820
you. I'm not going to give you my attention.

00:54:50.980 --> 00:54:53.119
I'm not going to give you my energy. There you

00:54:53.119 --> 00:54:55.980
go. That's the best thing you can do. family,

00:54:56.079 --> 00:54:59.079
friends, whatever, if there's somebody that you

00:54:59.079 --> 00:55:01.079
genuinely don't get along with and don't like,

00:55:01.460 --> 00:55:05.880
walk away. Yeah. It's like typical, it's what

00:55:05.880 --> 00:55:08.320
we learn in grade school. Don't like somebody,

00:55:08.400 --> 00:55:09.860
you're not going to walk up and punch them in

00:55:09.860 --> 00:55:13.199
the face. No. You're going to walk away and say,

00:55:13.199 --> 00:55:16.219
I don't want to be friends with you. Okay. Kids

00:55:16.219 --> 00:55:19.019
can do that, yet us as adults, we still struggle

00:55:19.019 --> 00:55:22.599
doing that because we feel like we're not being

00:55:23.210 --> 00:55:25.809
We're if we're not in the right then it then

00:55:25.809 --> 00:55:27.849
something is missing within us that we need to

00:55:27.849 --> 00:55:32.269
fill Yeah, and that's a sad life to live that

00:55:32.269 --> 00:55:34.889
I've noticed not even just in in the internet

00:55:34.889 --> 00:55:37.969
and human services, too You see this constantly

00:55:37.969 --> 00:55:42.030
People that they're going through some horrible

00:55:42.030 --> 00:55:45.710
things and then they take it out on you and You're

00:55:45.710 --> 00:55:48.530
like, I'm sorry that there's been so many times

00:55:48.530 --> 00:55:52.599
or I've had a mother who has gone through so

00:55:52.599 --> 00:55:55.619
much and she's about to lose everything and she's

00:55:55.619 --> 00:55:59.440
just screaming at me over the phone. And I'm

00:55:59.440 --> 00:56:01.539
trying to be as calm as possible, but I'm also

00:56:01.539 --> 00:56:04.900
sad because I can hear how upset she is. It's

00:56:04.900 --> 00:56:08.920
not at me, though. I didn't do anything. And

00:56:08.920 --> 00:56:11.619
so I'm like, I'm really sorry that you're going

00:56:11.619 --> 00:56:13.659
through this. I'm going to do the best that I

00:56:13.659 --> 00:56:18.780
can to help. And then when you speak kindly to

00:56:18.780 --> 00:56:22.449
others, especially when they're heightened, Most

00:56:22.449 --> 00:56:24.809
people will come down from that and be like,

00:56:24.909 --> 00:56:27.530
no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out on

00:56:27.530 --> 00:56:31.110
you. It's not your fault. Take a beat. Take a

00:56:31.110 --> 00:56:33.630
breath. Let's figure it out. Let's work together

00:56:33.630 --> 00:56:37.289
on this. Let's game plan. What can we do to move

00:56:37.289 --> 00:56:42.010
forward? But because of the internet and because

00:56:42.010 --> 00:56:45.570
of the access to so many things that are negative,

00:56:45.849 --> 00:56:48.869
that are broadcast on the internet, We're losing

00:56:48.869 --> 00:56:51.429
that ability to communicate with one another.

00:56:53.230 --> 00:56:55.690
And have that empathy, like communication and

00:56:55.690 --> 00:56:58.409
empathy are so important for society, but we're

00:56:58.409 --> 00:57:02.329
losing it. Yeah. And a lot of it's because of

00:57:02.329 --> 00:57:05.690
the Internet, unfortunately. Yeah, I agree with

00:57:05.690 --> 00:57:09.250
that. And I also want to say it's just like you're

00:57:09.250 --> 00:57:12.690
if you don't like somebody, you have every right.

00:57:12.940 --> 00:57:15.480
to never talk to them again. The internet is

00:57:15.480 --> 00:57:19.219
a big place. You're not going to lose out on

00:57:19.219 --> 00:57:23.860
anything if you block a person or or just decide

00:57:23.860 --> 00:57:26.599
to avoid a section of the internet entirely.

00:57:27.019 --> 00:57:31.820
Like I am a huge advocate for. blocking people

00:57:31.820 --> 00:57:34.380
without really needing a reason to like they

00:57:34.380 --> 00:57:36.579
can just be. I can just not like their content.

00:57:36.619 --> 00:57:39.480
I can just be like, you know what? You have really

00:57:39.480 --> 00:57:42.500
cold takes on this thing I like. So I'm just

00:57:42.500 --> 00:57:46.960
going to. Block you like it's nothing against

00:57:46.960 --> 00:57:50.920
the person personally. I just don't want to see

00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:53.460
it and I should be allowed to be like, I don't

00:57:53.460 --> 00:57:57.860
want to see this. And I feel like a lot of people

00:57:57.860 --> 00:58:03.119
want to have. an excuse to hate somebody or to

00:58:03.119 --> 00:58:07.239
not like somebody. So they will twist any truth

00:58:07.239 --> 00:58:12.000
or take any molehill they find to make it this

00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:15.659
huge mountain. So that way they are allowed to

00:58:15.659 --> 00:58:21.219
not like a person. And if you're allowed to just

00:58:21.219 --> 00:58:24.079
say, I don't like this person, I don't want to

00:58:24.079 --> 00:58:26.179
work with them. I don't want to talk to them.

00:58:26.599 --> 00:58:28.619
And I feel like that just makes you the bigger

00:58:28.619 --> 00:58:31.619
person. If you're just like, hey, we don't get

00:58:31.619 --> 00:58:34.639
along. It was nice talking to you. If I did talk

00:58:34.639 --> 00:58:38.340
to you like it's not that hard to just remove

00:58:38.340 --> 00:58:42.920
yourself from the equation entirely if you feel

00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:46.039
like you don't like a person like you don't have

00:58:46.039 --> 00:58:49.420
to come up with a reason. You don't have to talk

00:58:49.420 --> 00:58:52.400
shit to your friends in order to convince yourself

00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:55.420
there's a reason. to not like somebody, you can

00:58:55.420 --> 00:58:58.579
just not like somebody. Like you feel validated

00:58:58.579 --> 00:59:00.820
within yourself, knowing that you will have friends

00:59:00.820 --> 00:59:02.380
and you will have a community around you that

00:59:02.380 --> 00:59:05.599
love you and care about you for you and your

00:59:05.599 --> 00:59:08.519
own values of what you offer the world. Yep.

00:59:08.820 --> 00:59:12.059
Not because of you creating a negative space.

00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:14.380
I don't think that those friendships will last.

00:59:14.559 --> 00:59:18.980
I don't think that those relationships are healthy.

00:59:19.420 --> 00:59:22.800
And it's just it's something that People may

00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:26.159
need to go through life and learn things. Life

00:59:26.159 --> 00:59:28.039
may have to smack them upside the head a couple

00:59:28.039 --> 00:59:30.420
of times. That's happened to me. Karma has hit

00:59:30.420 --> 00:59:33.300
me a couple of times. I know she don't she don't

00:59:33.300 --> 00:59:36.179
play favorites. I already know that I've learned.

00:59:37.119 --> 00:59:40.639
But it's sometimes people act out of character

00:59:40.639 --> 00:59:42.500
because they think it's going to get them attention.

00:59:42.599 --> 00:59:46.840
They think it's going to get them some kind of

00:59:46.840 --> 00:59:49.199
it's going to fill a void in them that they don't

00:59:49.199 --> 00:59:53.090
necessarily know that they have. Yeah. And that

00:59:53.090 --> 00:59:57.349
is where I always suggest for people to meditate.

00:59:57.809 --> 01:00:01.690
I love meditation. It helps so much. People who

01:00:01.690 --> 01:00:03.909
are religious turning to their religion, people

01:00:03.909 --> 01:00:07.369
that are spiritual turning inward to your spirituality,

01:00:07.530 --> 01:00:10.250
finding something that you can do within yourself,

01:00:11.150 --> 01:00:14.949
that spending time with yourself and reflecting

01:00:14.949 --> 01:00:19.969
and saying, does this really serve me? in a positive

01:00:19.969 --> 01:00:22.550
way am I putting out more good into the world

01:00:22.550 --> 01:00:26.769
than bad and if what I'm doing is it benefit

01:00:26.769 --> 01:00:31.190
me or is it just because I want something to

01:00:31.190 --> 01:00:35.809
do or I'm upset about a situation it's the people

01:00:35.809 --> 01:00:43.590
that I feel like scream on the internet yep it's

01:00:43.590 --> 01:00:47.309
you need to work on Being happier with yourself

01:00:47.309 --> 01:00:49.690
and not needing validation from other people

01:00:49.690 --> 01:00:53.010
and that I say that because I have a really hard

01:00:53.010 --> 01:00:57.309
time with that I I have struggled for years needing

01:00:57.309 --> 01:00:59.750
validation from other people just because of

01:00:59.750 --> 01:01:02.250
my mental health journey my weight loss journey

01:01:02.250 --> 01:01:05.510
I'm still struggling with it. I still feel like

01:01:05.510 --> 01:01:09.269
if I If somebody says something nice to me, I

01:01:09.269 --> 01:01:11.329
still don't believe it sometimes. And I'm like,

01:01:11.530 --> 01:01:14.809
oh yeah, okay. You're funny. And then my wife

01:01:14.809 --> 01:01:16.469
will look at me and be like, stop it. And I'm

01:01:16.469 --> 01:01:18.929
like, okay, I'm sorry. Or people that comments

01:01:18.929 --> 01:01:21.710
on my videos, like you're singing his ass. And

01:01:21.710 --> 01:01:27.829
I'm like, thank you for the view. Thank you for

01:01:27.829 --> 01:01:30.369
the view. I appreciate your opinion. And I send

01:01:30.369 --> 01:01:33.119
you love and light because. I'm not going to

01:01:33.119 --> 01:01:35.280
fight with you over my voice. If you don't like

01:01:35.280 --> 01:01:37.860
my voice, don't watch my videos. It's really

01:01:37.860 --> 01:01:41.139
not that hard. It's really not that hard. You

01:01:41.139 --> 01:01:45.199
have to comment something to try to get a rise

01:01:45.199 --> 01:01:46.880
out of me. You're not going to get a rise out

01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:49.199
of me. I'm just going to say, I appreciate your

01:01:49.199 --> 01:01:51.280
opinion because I do appreciate your opinion,

01:01:51.360 --> 01:01:54.300
especially if it's constructive. If people say

01:01:54.300 --> 01:01:57.000
anything like, oh, I didn't like this part of

01:01:57.000 --> 01:01:59.099
the song. Sometimes I'm like, okay, that's good

01:01:59.099 --> 01:02:01.619
for me to note in the future if it's constructive.

01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:06.019
Like my vocal coach rips me apart when I send

01:02:06.019 --> 01:02:09.340
them takes of music. Like my old vocal coach

01:02:09.340 --> 01:02:11.940
would have me do a song like 19 times over and

01:02:11.940 --> 01:02:15.260
over again if I got one note wrong. And I was

01:02:15.260 --> 01:02:17.699
like, girl, just let me post the song. And she

01:02:17.699 --> 01:02:23.219
was like, no. So I'm used to receiving that.

01:02:23.260 --> 01:02:25.739
But if it's just being hateful and mean for no

01:02:25.739 --> 01:02:29.230
reason, what did you get out of this? Honestly,

01:02:29.349 --> 01:02:30.849
I'm not going to give you what you want, which

01:02:30.849 --> 01:02:33.210
is a reaction. I'm not going to do it because

01:02:33.210 --> 01:02:36.829
it's not worth my time. It's not. I've done too

01:02:36.829 --> 01:02:39.389
much work on myself to feed into this energy.

01:02:39.889 --> 01:02:42.210
I would rather send you good vibes when you've

01:02:42.210 --> 01:02:47.389
sent me bad vibes. Because I'm going to cancel

01:02:47.389 --> 01:02:49.829
out what you're doing by sending you positive

01:02:49.829 --> 01:02:51.570
vibes, because whatever I put out into the world

01:02:51.570 --> 01:02:53.929
is going to come back to me at some point. Yep.

01:02:55.070 --> 01:02:58.070
So say whatever you want. I'm not going to sit

01:02:58.070 --> 01:02:59.969
here and argue with you over the internet. I'm

01:02:59.969 --> 01:03:07.030
just not. So I think people really need to work

01:03:07.030 --> 01:03:13.449
on self -reflection. They need to work on being

01:03:13.449 --> 01:03:15.409
with yourself. I know sometimes that's really

01:03:15.409 --> 01:03:19.309
uncomfortable, but I'm very spiritual. I try

01:03:19.309 --> 01:03:23.690
really hard to either meditate every day or just

01:03:23.690 --> 01:03:26.610
spend like a mindful moment with myself and just.

01:03:26.650 --> 01:03:30.090
Think about what's currently going on. Like tomorrow

01:03:30.090 --> 01:03:33.929
I have to drive two hours and I'm like, inner

01:03:33.929 --> 01:03:37.989
part of me is, I don't want to go. It's just

01:03:37.989 --> 01:03:42.170
like catastrophizing and spiraling. But then

01:03:42.170 --> 01:03:44.289
you have to take those moments and stop yourself

01:03:44.289 --> 01:03:49.530
and think, do I have a reason not to go? Am I

01:03:49.530 --> 01:03:53.530
just saying this because the easier option would

01:03:53.530 --> 01:03:57.909
be easier and I'd be happier. But what am I going

01:03:57.909 --> 01:04:01.409
to miss out on? What is me not doing this? What

01:04:01.409 --> 01:04:03.670
is what's going to happen? Like, I'm going to

01:04:03.670 --> 01:04:05.530
need to make it up sometime. What if that what

01:04:05.530 --> 01:04:08.190
if me making up the time that I lost not going

01:04:08.190 --> 01:04:11.909
is worse than if I had just gone? Yeah, like

01:04:11.909 --> 01:04:15.230
you don't know. And so it really comes down to

01:04:15.230 --> 01:04:18.769
like me saying if I'm sick, that's different.

01:04:19.110 --> 01:04:23.420
But if I'm not, you just need to go get it. You

01:04:23.420 --> 01:04:25.760
did it. You know, give yourself some ice cream

01:04:25.760 --> 01:04:28.199
when you get home something. Be kinder to yourself

01:04:28.199 --> 01:04:30.659
and be kinder to others. A lot of celebrities

01:04:30.659 --> 01:04:32.679
say that. And I feel like we don't take that

01:04:32.679 --> 01:04:36.320
seriously. We don't know. That's what's going

01:04:36.320 --> 01:04:37.860
to make the world a better place eventually,

01:04:37.920 --> 01:04:41.360
is if people learn. You don't have to like each

01:04:41.360 --> 01:04:43.460
other, you don't have to agree with each other.

01:04:43.579 --> 01:04:46.539
Yep. But it doesn't need to be broadcasted on

01:04:46.539 --> 01:04:50.500
the Internet either. No. Just be with the people

01:04:50.500 --> 01:04:52.619
that you're around every day that care about

01:04:52.619 --> 01:04:55.400
you as a person who know you inside and out,

01:04:55.400 --> 01:04:58.780
your family, your friends, your partners. Those

01:04:58.780 --> 01:05:01.780
are the people that you really need to prove

01:05:01.780 --> 01:05:04.840
who you are to because those are the people that

01:05:04.840 --> 01:05:06.539
are your support group. And those are the people

01:05:06.539 --> 01:05:10.019
that are always going to be there for you. So

01:05:10.019 --> 01:05:14.119
the internet is a place where people can share

01:05:14.119 --> 01:05:17.079
interests and have fun, but it's also a place

01:05:17.079 --> 01:05:20.630
where It's caused a lot of harm, probably more

01:05:20.630 --> 01:05:24.630
harm than good in a lot of aspects. Yeah. Yeah,

01:05:24.710 --> 01:05:28.210
I agree. And I feel like people should also just

01:05:28.210 --> 01:05:34.389
learn to stay in their lane and to just stop

01:05:34.389 --> 01:05:39.150
being assholes. Stop being jerks, stop being

01:05:39.150 --> 01:05:42.929
little shits. Do something productive with your

01:05:42.929 --> 01:05:44.909
life. Do something productive. Do something that

01:05:44.909 --> 01:05:48.510
you Really love doing it. Doesn't matter if it's

01:05:48.510 --> 01:05:50.469
cringe. Doesn't matter if no one gets to see

01:05:50.469 --> 01:05:54.630
it. Just create something that you're so proud

01:05:54.630 --> 01:06:00.369
of that you can look back on years later and

01:06:00.369 --> 01:06:03.170
be like, yeah, yeah, no, I really went off on

01:06:03.170 --> 01:06:06.710
this one. I really like this one. Absolutely.

01:06:08.190 --> 01:06:11.769
As we wrap up, as we have a few minutes left,

01:06:12.329 --> 01:06:15.840
what are your final thoughts? Gabe on today's

01:06:15.840 --> 01:06:19.059
podcast session. I would say my final thoughts

01:06:19.059 --> 01:06:22.079
are be nice to people on the internet. You don't

01:06:22.079 --> 01:06:24.199
know what people are going through. Always be

01:06:24.199 --> 01:06:28.380
yourself on the internet in a personality way,

01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:32.239
not in a share me your address kind of way. Don't

01:06:32.239 --> 01:06:35.460
be creepy. Don't share photos of yourself online.

01:06:35.539 --> 01:06:38.820
That is literally how you get found out and tracked.

01:06:39.059 --> 01:06:43.159
But anyway, and also just do stuff passionately.

01:06:44.039 --> 01:06:48.280
do things that you like because you like it.

01:06:48.300 --> 01:06:50.719
And don't worry about the numbers. Don't worry

01:06:50.719 --> 01:06:53.860
about the traction. Don't worry about the eyes

01:06:53.860 --> 01:06:55.900
that get to see your work because someone will

01:06:55.900 --> 01:06:58.000
see your work because it's the Internet and people

01:06:58.000 --> 01:07:00.840
will see it in a both positive and negative way.

01:07:00.920 --> 01:07:04.400
People will see it. So just, yeah, do what you

01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:09.269
want. Be great and don't be little shits. In

01:07:09.269 --> 01:07:11.530
the words of Bambi, if you can't say something

01:07:11.530 --> 01:07:15.730
nice, don't say anything at all. Correct. Golden

01:07:15.730 --> 01:07:19.409
rule. Unless you're with your partner and you're

01:07:19.409 --> 01:07:21.269
joking around and bantering, that's fine. Don't

01:07:21.269 --> 01:07:23.429
go out of your way to hurt people. Go out of

01:07:23.429 --> 01:07:26.610
your way to help people. Go out of your way to

01:07:26.610 --> 01:07:30.230
uplift others. And if you don't like that person,

01:07:31.309 --> 01:07:34.690
just don't engage. It's that simple. Just don't

01:07:34.690 --> 01:07:37.880
engage. Yeah. Just otherwise. Eventually, you're

01:07:37.880 --> 01:07:39.599
going to look back on it and be like, oh, man,

01:07:39.739 --> 01:07:44.219
like, why did I do that? Let people learn their

01:07:44.219 --> 01:07:49.300
own life lessons. Karma is she's a beast and

01:07:49.300 --> 01:07:52.440
she will get them like she don't skip anybody.

01:07:53.179 --> 01:07:56.360
And that's what karma is for to teach you life

01:07:56.360 --> 01:08:00.219
lessons. I just my last thoughts are there's

01:08:00.219 --> 01:08:02.599
no reason to put in more negativity in the world

01:08:02.599 --> 01:08:06.360
than there already is when we should. come together

01:08:06.360 --> 01:08:11.559
as people, different opinions and all, and just

01:08:11.559 --> 01:08:14.059
try to be there for one another because we're

01:08:14.059 --> 01:08:20.239
so distanced and we're so divided that it's just

01:08:20.239 --> 01:08:24.180
creating discourse and chaos and deteriorating

01:08:24.180 --> 01:08:29.800
our society one day at a time. In order to make

01:08:29.800 --> 01:08:32.800
the world an actual better place, People need

01:08:32.800 --> 01:08:35.420
to go back to a place of communication and empathy

01:08:35.420 --> 01:08:39.000
and kindness. And that's just how it needs to

01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:41.619
be. Like there's no other way. You can have different

01:08:41.619 --> 01:08:44.220
opinions, but that doesn't mean you have to be

01:08:44.220 --> 01:08:48.159
cruel to one another. With those thoughts being

01:08:48.159 --> 01:08:51.659
said, thank you guys for listening. And I know

01:08:51.659 --> 01:08:54.600
I don't post too often, but that's because I

01:08:54.600 --> 01:08:57.420
prioritize my real life. I do try to put out

01:08:57.420 --> 01:09:01.090
covers as often as I can make them. and podcasts

01:09:01.090 --> 01:09:04.270
as often as we can do them. They may not be regular,

01:09:04.630 --> 01:09:07.470
but they'll come out when they come out. And

01:09:07.470 --> 01:09:10.590
I suggest that you guys also find something lovely

01:09:10.590 --> 01:09:13.670
to do in your real life that you are passionate

01:09:13.670 --> 01:09:19.130
about. And we'll see you next time. All righty.

01:09:19.329 --> 01:09:23.630
Say bye, Gabe. Bye, Gabe. Bye, guys.