WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.240 Hello, and welcome back to the Real Talk with 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:07.639 Rayne podcast. I am here with my friend, Dark 00:00:07.639 --> 00:00:10.519 Ringer, who joined me last time on the last podcast. 00:00:10.580 --> 00:00:13.720 If you'd like to introduce yourself first. Hi, 00:00:13.720 --> 00:00:16.760 I'm Dark Ringer. I'm a voice actor, singer, and 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:20.079 streamer. You can follow me on any given social 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:25.219 media at Dark Ringer. No underscores, all one 00:00:25.219 --> 00:00:27.579 word. If you follow me today, I'm streaming at 00:00:27.579 --> 00:00:30.399 about 90 minutes. And that's Stark Ringer with 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:34.520 a W -R -I -N -G -E -R. All right, and then next 00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:37.679 we have Stewart, who is my oldest friend since 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:42.420 the wee years of my teenage youth. Pleasure to 00:00:42.420 --> 00:00:45.100 be here. Yeah, I'm Stewart. I'm an editor. Not 00:00:45.100 --> 00:00:47.140 much I can add to that, really, and not much 00:00:47.140 --> 00:00:52.619 in the social media. I hate it. And then last 00:00:52.619 --> 00:00:54.820 but not least, we have Chloe, who is a very good 00:00:54.820 --> 00:00:58.640 friend of mine. I'm Chloe. Not really much to 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:02.179 say about me. Aspirant, voice actress, writer. 00:01:02.820 --> 00:01:04.480 Other than that, not much. You will not find 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:09.760 me on socials. Ever. I'm sorry. Good luck. It's 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:15.060 honestly... I feel like if I wasn't creative 00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:18.340 in the world of wanting to see my stories become 00:01:18.340 --> 00:01:21.760 reality, I would not be on social media. And 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:24.120 it's like one of the ways to really get noticed, 00:01:24.140 --> 00:01:26.969 but... I hate all of the things that come with 00:01:26.969 --> 00:01:30.430 it. So that's the only down part I think is I 00:01:30.430 --> 00:01:33.870 wouldn't be a part of it if I didn't feel that 00:01:33.870 --> 00:01:38.349 it would benefit a possible career. Yeah. So 00:01:38.349 --> 00:01:42.969 today we are talking about changing your perspective 00:01:42.969 --> 00:01:47.269 when it comes to making mistakes in life and 00:01:47.269 --> 00:01:53.390 having failures. So yeah, because I know. All 00:01:53.390 --> 00:01:57.469 of us here from conversations that I've had with 00:01:57.469 --> 00:02:00.430 all of us, just on a friendship level, have experience 00:02:00.430 --> 00:02:12.009 with this. Cheers. Please. No, rip the bandage 00:02:12.009 --> 00:02:16.289 off. Rip it off. No. But yeah, I'm trying to 00:02:16.289 --> 00:02:19.210 get us to a point where in this podcast, we're 00:02:19.210 --> 00:02:22.659 going to talk about how we can see these. failures 00:02:22.659 --> 00:02:25.699 as ways to learn and expand our knowledge and 00:02:25.699 --> 00:02:30.039 who we are as people rather than being so critical 00:02:30.039 --> 00:02:33.280 and horrible to ourselves when we make the mistakes 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:37.479 that we do. Obviously, we have examples of people 00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:40.219 in the world, not just social media, but in the 00:02:40.219 --> 00:02:46.280 world who make very bad choices and don't care. 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:48.580 So we're not really talking about those people 00:02:48.580 --> 00:02:51.300 because those people definitely don't have any 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:54.740 acknowledgement of what they've done wrong. I'm 00:02:54.740 --> 00:02:57.740 talking about people who can actually self -reflect 00:02:57.740 --> 00:03:02.539 and who have the ability to think back on their 00:03:02.539 --> 00:03:06.060 actions and try to see it from a place of growth 00:03:06.060 --> 00:03:08.439 rather than a place of this is why soccer's a 00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:11.159 human being. Oh my gosh, people being people? 00:03:11.900 --> 00:03:16.759 Yeah, people having flaws. Oh my gosh, how... 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:20.479 Yeah, imagine having flaws. You can't relate. 00:03:21.109 --> 00:03:24.509 Oh my gosh, like seriously, get out of here with 00:03:24.509 --> 00:03:28.129 those flaws. Flaws don't exist in my line of 00:03:28.129 --> 00:03:30.909 work. To all my California girls, I'm sorry that 00:03:30.909 --> 00:03:33.669 I default to your accent. I don't mean any offense. 00:03:33.810 --> 00:03:37.990 I just grew up in Arizona. I grew up in Arizona 00:03:37.990 --> 00:03:41.990 and I was around so many Valley Girl acts. I'm 00:03:41.990 --> 00:03:44.750 so good at it now that it just comes naturally, 00:03:44.889 --> 00:03:48.469 so I'm sorry. No, it's the straight girl voice. 00:03:49.250 --> 00:03:53.199 Yeah, that too. But yeah, so I think one of the 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:56.460 things that I would like to do is if we can all 00:03:56.460 --> 00:04:00.599 think of a very big moment in our lives that 00:04:00.599 --> 00:04:05.199 we made a mistake and that we had to reflect 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.219 on that mistake, how that changed us as a person, 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:13.000 how we learned from it and unpacked that a little 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:16.300 bit. So I don't know, I could go first. I can 00:04:16.300 --> 00:04:18.608 have one of you guys go first. It's really... 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:21.480 You're the guests, so I can... So what would 00:04:21.480 --> 00:04:24.879 you say is the experience that comes to mind? 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:28.040 That you would consider your biggest failure? 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:32.540 You know what? Two years ago, I had an experience 00:04:32.540 --> 00:04:35.139 with some garbage customer and it was the end 00:04:35.139 --> 00:04:38.339 of the day. I've been working for almost nine 00:04:38.339 --> 00:04:43.180 hours. And so I just, without a prompt, messaged 00:04:43.180 --> 00:04:46.399 my bro being like, it should be legal to unalive 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:49.870 customers because holy crap. And I guess they 00:04:49.870 --> 00:04:52.829 weren't mentally prepared for that. Yeah. And 00:04:52.829 --> 00:04:56.949 their partner went off at me. Which, fair. Okay. 00:04:57.990 --> 00:05:01.509 So you feel like... Yeah. What do you feel about 00:05:01.509 --> 00:05:04.850 how that whole situation was handled? Why do 00:05:04.850 --> 00:05:07.110 you think it's a failure? Because I should have 00:05:07.110 --> 00:05:09.310 taken my bro's feelings into account for us before 00:05:09.310 --> 00:05:11.589 just being like, what if I did several murders? 00:05:12.269 --> 00:05:15.910 Okay. What do you think could have been different? 00:05:16.089 --> 00:05:17.449 What do you think you could have done differently? 00:05:18.459 --> 00:05:21.639 Austin if he was like in a position for me to 00:05:21.639 --> 00:05:23.220 vent or in the right mental state for me to vent. 00:05:23.480 --> 00:05:25.540 So why is that important? Like why do we think 00:05:25.540 --> 00:05:28.079 it's important to ask somebody if they're mentally 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:31.300 ready to engage in that kind of conversation 00:05:31.300 --> 00:05:34.300 with us? Because we don't know at any given time 00:05:34.300 --> 00:05:36.199 what the other person might be going through. 00:05:36.339 --> 00:05:38.399 Maybe they're also dealing with crap. Maybe they 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:42.779 also want to online customers. So now seeing 00:05:42.779 --> 00:05:47.100 that you've reflected on those experiences How 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:50.639 do you think it's changed you as a person? I 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:55.100 won't say I'm less angry now, but I'm able to 00:05:55.100 --> 00:05:57.839 express it more healthily. Is healthily a word? 00:05:58.259 --> 00:06:02.339 Yeah. Not all the time, but most of the time. 00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:05.060 Flaws are something that we all have. And sometimes 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:07.399 we have our moments and it's human nature. We're 00:06:07.399 --> 00:06:09.959 never going to be perfect. Yeah. All right. Thank 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:12.720 you for sharing. It should be able to unalive 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:16.970 customers though. Stewart so close and yet so 00:06:16.970 --> 00:06:19.269 fine. This will be the last time dark bringers 00:06:19.269 --> 00:06:24.149 on podcast love you sir in Sir, what it comes 00:06:24.149 --> 00:06:27.089 to mind for one of your biggest failures and 00:06:27.089 --> 00:06:29.949 how it shaped you as a person Are we going here? 00:06:29.949 --> 00:06:32.910 Are we really going here like? Just the girl 00:06:32.910 --> 00:06:39.189 I can pick from but none that are like jumping 00:06:39.189 --> 00:06:43.209 out as the first choice kind of deal Do you need 00:06:43.209 --> 00:06:45.629 some time to think? I can pop in. If you want 00:06:45.629 --> 00:06:48.250 to, but just in general, I just think on the 00:06:48.250 --> 00:06:52.949 entire point of the entire discussion, as we 00:06:52.949 --> 00:06:55.170 said right at the beginning, like failure is 00:06:55.170 --> 00:06:58.550 normal. It's something that we do. We're not 00:06:58.550 --> 00:07:01.069 going to escape that. The important thing for 00:07:01.069 --> 00:07:06.350 me is to approach it with a problem solving approach, 00:07:06.389 --> 00:07:08.050 which is hard when you're right in the middle 00:07:08.050 --> 00:07:12.339 of it. But the important thing is more to look 00:07:12.339 --> 00:07:15.220 at this and go. It's simple to say learn from 00:07:15.220 --> 00:07:18.279 it, but really learn from it. Why did it happen? 00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:22.660 What did I do that was wrong? Why did I do the 00:07:22.660 --> 00:07:25.420 thing that was wrong? How do I not do that next 00:07:25.420 --> 00:07:27.279 time? What was the right thing to do and how 00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:31.459 do I do the right thing next time? It's hard. 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:33.300 It's sometimes a hard question, especially depending 00:07:33.300 --> 00:07:36.519 on the failure, but that seems to be the more. 00:07:37.080 --> 00:07:39.560 important thing to me is it's not the specific 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:43.839 failure, any given failure is fine, but just 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:46.139 as long as you're learning from that failure, 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:48.939 learning, because otherwise, what was the point 00:07:48.939 --> 00:07:52.000 of the failure? You screwed up and you're going 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:55.160 to screw up again, possibly the exact same way 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:59.560 again. To me, that's not a healthy mindset. To 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:02.939 me, that's a problematic mindset. Right. That 00:08:02.939 --> 00:08:06.769 also brings up the way of being able to take 00:08:06.769 --> 00:08:09.290 accountability and self -reflecting, whereas 00:08:09.290 --> 00:08:13.949 you have people who can't or won't, I guess is 00:08:13.949 --> 00:08:16.329 the better word, will not take accountability. 00:08:16.949 --> 00:08:20.870 What would be your advice? I know you have, you've 00:08:20.870 --> 00:08:24.329 grown a lot since I first met. I've grown a lot 00:08:24.329 --> 00:08:27.509 and we've been through our share of differences. 00:08:27.730 --> 00:08:31.990 In our friendship. Putting it lightly. That's 00:08:31.990 --> 00:08:35.450 our friendship? No. Yeah. We're totally not closer 00:08:35.450 --> 00:08:37.990 now as adults than you were a bridesman in my 00:08:37.990 --> 00:08:41.769 wedding. It's fine. It's fine. But what do you 00:08:41.769 --> 00:08:45.750 think helped you in those moments? Not necessarily 00:08:45.750 --> 00:08:49.269 with our friendship, but just in general, how 00:08:49.269 --> 00:08:51.509 do you think you did? Actually, there's a lot 00:08:51.509 --> 00:08:53.090 that's just interesting you bring that up too. 00:08:53.649 --> 00:08:56.090 I knew you were going to, but it's also still 00:08:56.090 --> 00:08:59.809 interesting because when you're figuring that 00:08:59.809 --> 00:09:05.980 out, a choice has to be made. The choice, it's 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:07.500 possible to make wrong choices and there's also, 00:09:07.580 --> 00:09:10.299 there's choices where all choices are wrong and 00:09:10.299 --> 00:09:12.000 there's choices where there is no wrong choice. 00:09:12.620 --> 00:09:16.639 But you have, I think the other thing is you 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:20.480 have to think about it in, feels a little cold 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:22.740 to say it this way, but, or just very sterile, 00:09:22.940 --> 00:09:25.860 but what is my objective? Right? Like that's 00:09:25.860 --> 00:09:28.679 the thing. What is my objective here? In the 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:31.580 case of our history, my objective was I want 00:09:31.580 --> 00:09:35.059 to preserve this friendship. The choices I made, 00:09:35.740 --> 00:09:38.519 the question of where did I make the mistake 00:09:38.519 --> 00:09:41.559 has to come into where did I do the thing that 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:45.000 damaged the friendship and how do I not do those 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.059 things next time. different people in different 00:09:48.059 --> 00:09:51.120 circumstances, they may decide that the mistake 00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:53.519 was the relationship or the friendship in the 00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:55.740 first place and they may decide that was the 00:09:55.740 --> 00:09:57.879 mistake and that the correct choice therefore 00:09:57.879 --> 00:10:00.980 is to end that friendship. You've made that decision 00:10:00.980 --> 00:10:05.039 many times, I know. So it comes down to your 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:08.480 objective. What was your objective? And sometimes 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:11.120 you got to step back as well and go, was I correct? 00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:14.399 Did I choose the objective correctly? Again, 00:10:14.440 --> 00:10:17.539 you'll have people in toxic and abusive relationships 00:10:17.539 --> 00:10:19.639 as well who will be going on and they're going 00:10:19.639 --> 00:10:21.700 to say, no, my objective is the same as what 00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:25.440 mine was to maintain the relationship. But that 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:27.759 isn't necessarily it. Introspection, that's the 00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:31.179 thing. Ask yourself, what is it that you want? 00:10:32.200 --> 00:10:36.220 And what are you willing to do to get what you 00:10:36.220 --> 00:10:40.860 want? Yeah, and the same on the same thought 00:10:40.860 --> 00:10:43.419 to that person that's on the other side of that 00:10:43.419 --> 00:10:47.899 friendship also has to be receptive to communication 00:10:47.899 --> 00:10:51.720 and growth and I think a lot of Especially recently 00:10:51.720 --> 00:10:53.600 with things that have happened with me and some 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:56.259 friendships that have fallen out a lot of the 00:10:56.259 --> 00:10:58.899 times I've realized that it's not necessarily 00:10:58.899 --> 00:11:01.620 because anybody's a bad person or that they're 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:04.759 like out to get you or anything like that. It's 00:11:04.919 --> 00:11:08.500 because they're not willing to meet you in the 00:11:08.500 --> 00:11:12.139 middle. They're not willing to take a step back 00:11:12.139 --> 00:11:16.000 and see things from your point of view, because 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.019 when you put yourself in somebody else's shoes, 00:11:18.139 --> 00:11:20.039 especially since you don't know what they experience 00:11:20.039 --> 00:11:21.940 every day, you don't know what's going through 00:11:21.940 --> 00:11:24.460 their mind, factoring in physical health, mental 00:11:24.460 --> 00:11:28.299 health, things that some people use as a shield 00:11:28.299 --> 00:11:30.940 and a reason to be like, you can't be mad at 00:11:30.940 --> 00:11:35.320 me because blah, I don't stand by that. I deal 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:38.340 with a lot of issues myself mentally and physically. 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:40.919 And for the longest time when I was younger, 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:44.279 I definitely was very toxic when I was younger 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:46.840 and used a lot of my mental health as I'm going 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:48.419 to win this argument and I'm going to be right 00:11:48.419 --> 00:11:52.360 because I have anxiety or whatever. And so my 00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:54.759 anger at this person is completely justified 00:11:54.759 --> 00:11:58.919 when in reality, it's not. It's you need to come 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:01.960 at it from a place of this is also a person. 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:05.950 who has their own sets of ideas and feelings 00:12:05.950 --> 00:12:09.309 and experiences that I may be able to relate 00:12:09.309 --> 00:12:13.529 to, but I won't necessarily fully understand 00:12:13.529 --> 00:12:16.029 unless I live them exactly the way that they 00:12:16.029 --> 00:12:19.769 went through them. So it's about a connection 00:12:19.769 --> 00:12:25.909 and it's about speaking to each other in an area 00:12:25.909 --> 00:12:30.399 of respect with energy that is matched. that's 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:34.279 positive and wanting to move forward with a growth 00:12:34.279 --> 00:12:37.019 mindset, not I want to win this argument and 00:12:37.019 --> 00:12:40.700 I want to be right. Because that, I think, is 00:12:40.700 --> 00:12:43.100 what tears apart a lot of friendships and tore 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:45.080 apart a lot of my friendships when I was younger. 00:12:45.460 --> 00:12:49.019 I do think that a lot of people can fall out 00:12:49.019 --> 00:12:51.899 because you're both wrong in some way. I don't 00:12:51.899 --> 00:12:54.659 think anybody's ever completely in the right 00:12:54.659 --> 00:12:56.539 or completely in the wrong unless we're looking 00:12:56.539 --> 00:13:00.480 at really horrible situations. And then that's 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:03.039 a whole different story. But yeah, like terms 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:06.080 of just communication with friends, I think it 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:08.679 comes with time and it comes with life experience 00:13:08.679 --> 00:13:11.879 and it comes with learning that the world doesn't 00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:19.000 revolve around you. And no, and like your experiences 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.200 are valid. That doesn't mean that the other person's 00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:23.840 experiences aren't valid either. That doesn't 00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:27.279 mean that how they perceive the situation with 00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:31.129 you isn't valid to them. and isn't truth to them. 00:13:31.269 --> 00:13:34.250 So it really comes down to being able to talk 00:13:34.250 --> 00:13:39.629 and have a conversation where you're not trying 00:13:39.629 --> 00:13:43.470 to win, you're trying to understand. And that 00:13:43.470 --> 00:13:46.250 way you can know each other a little bit better 00:13:46.250 --> 00:13:49.090 in a way that when it happens again in the future 00:13:49.090 --> 00:13:51.309 or happens a little differently and you have 00:13:51.309 --> 00:13:53.730 another spiff or whatever you want to call it, 00:13:54.149 --> 00:13:59.000 you have a new way to think about how that person 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:02.279 might be feeling and how that may have caused 00:14:02.279 --> 00:14:05.580 the situation, how your actions could have triggered 00:14:05.580 --> 00:14:08.799 the situation. And then their actions could have 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:10.960 triggered your response. And it's just a circle, 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:15.059 but it's never as black and white as you started 00:14:15.059 --> 00:14:18.539 it. This is your fault. Oh, never that simple. 00:14:19.019 --> 00:14:22.000 Never that black and white. So yeah, I also, 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:25.519 after my little spiel, I would like to hand it 00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:30.120 over to Stuart if you're Finish. You're all good? 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:32.159 Yeah, we're good. All right. Perfect. Chloe, 00:14:32.200 --> 00:14:35.460 would you like to share? Yes, I would. I'm not 00:14:35.460 --> 00:14:38.059 sure which story to tell. I've got two really 00:14:38.059 --> 00:14:41.039 good stories that both have very powerful messages 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:44.419 to them. One you might know and one I have not 00:14:44.419 --> 00:14:47.019 told you. Which do you feel would be better for 00:14:47.019 --> 00:14:50.740 the podcast? Maybe the one you haven't told me. 00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:54.759 For context, I went to a private school. Like 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:56.659 a college preparatory school for the last two 00:14:56.659 --> 00:15:01.000 years of my high school career. Because I was... 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:04.120 How should I put this? I was a little ****. Not 00:15:04.120 --> 00:15:07.440 in terms of a hell raiser or anything like that. 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:12.159 I was a kid who had no motivation whatsoever. 00:15:12.379 --> 00:15:15.240 I had no motivation to do well in school. I had 00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:20.120 no motivation to do hardly anything other than... 00:15:20.090 --> 00:15:25.029 video games because ADHD at a very young age 00:15:25.029 --> 00:15:29.750 of 18 and 19 is not all that great because your 00:15:29.750 --> 00:15:33.269 mind is currently always glomps onto the thing 00:15:33.269 --> 00:15:35.610 that gives your brain the most stimulation. For 00:15:35.610 --> 00:15:38.049 me it was video games. A little bit more context. 00:15:38.149 --> 00:15:40.750 I'm so sorry. I will get to my point. I promise 00:15:40.750 --> 00:15:43.269 you this is a very long story. So please grab 00:15:43.269 --> 00:15:45.809 your popcorn and settle and I am so sorry. Get 00:15:45.809 --> 00:15:49.360 yourself a snack. Have some water. Got no hydrate. 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:53.399 This is your reminder to hydrate something. Um... 00:15:53.399 --> 00:15:57.399 Buster check. Yes. Buster check, yes. There will 00:15:57.399 --> 00:15:59.940 be no slouchers here. Keep your eyes on the road 00:15:59.940 --> 00:16:03.679 and if you're on the toilet, you can do it! Also, 00:16:03.860 --> 00:16:06.179 please pay attention to the road. I am not responsible 00:16:06.179 --> 00:16:08.720 for anyone who does something naughty or bad 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:10.360 on the road. Thank you. If you're going to the 00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:13.980 toilet on the road, I'm sorry. Anyone. Second 00:16:13.980 --> 00:16:17.610 of all, how are you doing that? They have their 00:16:17.610 --> 00:16:21.029 ways. Oh, and my eyes, there's something so new. 00:16:22.970 --> 00:16:25.769 Anyway, five, it's little s*** for an unctuous 00:16:25.769 --> 00:16:28.009 little scamp. All right, we're all caught up. 00:16:28.429 --> 00:16:31.490 I had this teacher to keep their anonymity. I 00:16:31.490 --> 00:16:37.090 will call them Mr. Gray. Mr. Gray. I swear. First 00:16:37.090 --> 00:16:38.850 of all, are you in my apartment? And second, 00:16:38.929 --> 00:16:42.990 are you reading my mind? Yes. Yes to both. Yay, 00:16:43.049 --> 00:16:47.740 new friendship. Wait a second. Stewart? Yeah? 00:16:49.580 --> 00:16:52.659 Ringer? What are you doing up there? Oh yeah. 00:16:55.379 --> 00:16:58.519 By the way, we haven't even known each other 00:16:58.519 --> 00:17:02.019 that long, and yet immediately it's my name that 00:17:02.019 --> 00:17:06.920 you call out. Has I heard the stories? It's your 00:17:06.920 --> 00:17:11.200 fault. Not my choice of words, but that's literally 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:14.869 what she said. Okay, anyway. This teacher, Mr. 00:17:15.009 --> 00:17:18.349 Gray, saw that I was doing very poorly on all 00:17:18.349 --> 00:17:21.430 of my essays that I had a spark of brilliance, 00:17:21.589 --> 00:17:26.130 as they would always say. And, of course, teenager 00:17:26.130 --> 00:17:28.789 me, that went straight to my head and went, I 00:17:28.789 --> 00:17:32.250 can do this so easily. I could do it in 15 minutes. 00:17:33.569 --> 00:17:34.809 The moral of the story is I could not do it in 00:17:34.809 --> 00:17:37.730 15 minutes. They pulled me aside and were like, 00:17:37.990 --> 00:17:42.190 listen. I will help you with this, whatever it 00:17:42.190 --> 00:17:46.289 takes, but you've got to figure out where and 00:17:46.289 --> 00:17:49.970 what you want. Me not having any direction. I 00:17:49.970 --> 00:17:52.549 went with the first thing that came to mind. 00:17:53.109 --> 00:17:55.769 My dad was a very successful businessman. He's 00:17:55.769 --> 00:17:59.990 retired now, but my mind was like success like 00:17:59.990 --> 00:18:04.190 dad. That was that teacher was the catalyst through 00:18:04.190 --> 00:18:07.589 multiple coachings and a lot of life lessons. 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.839 they were able to help me get into the college 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:18.359 of my choosing. So. It was literally one of the 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:20.539 hardest things to do because it took a lot of 00:18:20.539 --> 00:18:23.940 extra time out of what I wanted to do on in my 00:18:23.940 --> 00:18:28.900 off hours. But there came a time and I was discussing 00:18:28.900 --> 00:18:32.480 this with my mother, who was made aware of this 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:36.140 and like, I understand that I haven't been really 00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:41.930 motivated at all because reasons. And this is 00:18:41.930 --> 00:18:46.309 where I want to try and go. And this teacher, 00:18:46.430 --> 00:18:49.849 Mr. Gray, is helping me. And I'm seeing some 00:18:49.849 --> 00:18:53.509 real progress. I was honestly super proud of 00:18:53.509 --> 00:18:57.650 myself. Yes, I did get a bloody big head whenever 00:18:57.650 --> 00:19:00.430 I was talking to my mom. Look at me. I've grown 00:19:00.430 --> 00:19:04.809 so much. I'm all powerful. younger kids like 00:19:04.809 --> 00:19:07.970 to say. So that's pretty much my story in that 00:19:07.970 --> 00:19:12.609 matter. Okay. So I got a little long -winded. 00:19:13.049 --> 00:19:16.230 What do you think would constitute as how you 00:19:16.230 --> 00:19:20.609 viewed that as a failure then? How you see it 00:19:20.609 --> 00:19:24.069 now with a changed mindset? How I view it now 00:19:24.069 --> 00:19:27.289 is that it is one of the greatest moments of 00:19:27.289 --> 00:19:31.170 my then short life. I've just entered my 20s 00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:35.460 and It helped to define me for who I would be 00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:38.839 throughout those years. I realized for the failure 00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:41.200 parts that mom and dad were fronting all this 00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:44.940 money to go to a college prep school. And which 00:19:44.940 --> 00:19:47.200 I don't know if anyone knows it costs a pretty 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:50.299 penny. It was a failure on me for not taking 00:19:50.299 --> 00:19:54.119 their feelings in into accounts, their dedication, 00:19:54.619 --> 00:19:58.019 their connections, I guess it was to get me there. 00:19:59.930 --> 00:20:02.809 Looking at it with the mindset I have now, which 00:20:02.809 --> 00:20:06.589 is honestly the best version of myself that I 00:20:06.589 --> 00:20:09.529 could possibly be in this moment with a few things 00:20:09.529 --> 00:20:11.210 that I would like to change, obviously, because 00:20:11.210 --> 00:20:13.549 who doesn't want to change things? I view it 00:20:13.549 --> 00:20:16.009 as a major turning point. Otherwise, I could 00:20:16.009 --> 00:20:18.250 have been like those, you know, those cartoons 00:20:18.250 --> 00:20:22.390 where there's this overly large man child is 00:20:22.390 --> 00:20:24.849 sitting in front of a computer gaming all day 00:20:24.849 --> 00:20:29.009 doing nothing else but that forums. Where did 00:20:29.009 --> 00:20:34.829 you find this photo of me? I have my ways. Don't 00:20:34.829 --> 00:20:38.849 question it. Okay, Chloe, are you wrapped up 00:20:38.849 --> 00:20:42.369 with your example? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Sorry 00:20:42.369 --> 00:20:44.950 if I got a little long -winded there. No, it's 00:20:44.950 --> 00:20:47.069 fine. Mine will probably get long -winded as 00:20:47.069 --> 00:20:51.849 well. Mine is actually pretty substantial to 00:20:51.849 --> 00:20:54.630 my life and how it shaped me as a person, especially 00:20:54.630 --> 00:21:00.410 now as an adult. And I think The main thing that 00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:02.789 I viewed as a failure was my relationship with 00:21:02.789 --> 00:21:09.950 my mother growing up and I think that obviously 00:21:09.950 --> 00:21:12.490 when you're there are a lot of different factors 00:21:12.490 --> 00:21:17.210 that go into things, but you don't understand 00:21:17.210 --> 00:21:21.309 your parents in the way that you do as an adult 00:21:21.309 --> 00:21:26.170 and I think a lot of self work and therapy has 00:21:26.170 --> 00:21:30.319 helped me realize I can't change what the things 00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:32.400 that have happened in the past between her and 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.700 I, and she can't change the things that she did 00:21:34.700 --> 00:21:37.339 incorrectly in terms of, I'm not going to get 00:21:37.339 --> 00:21:41.119 into detail, but we were at odds for a very long 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:44.180 time with my upbringing. And it was just a lot 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:47.460 of fighting, a lot of not understanding each 00:21:47.460 --> 00:21:49.880 other, not being able to talk to each other. 00:21:50.359 --> 00:21:54.559 And it really strained our relationship because 00:21:54.559 --> 00:22:00.130 I viewed her in a very negative light for the 00:22:00.130 --> 00:22:03.250 majority of my adolescence. And I'm sure she 00:22:03.250 --> 00:22:06.730 viewed me as, and in both situations, we were 00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:10.789 both probably right. Like I was probably really 00:22:10.789 --> 00:22:17.190 difficult. And to me, she was not the best mother, 00:22:17.829 --> 00:22:22.750 but recently something happened where I sat down 00:22:22.750 --> 00:22:25.529 with my mom. and we're, we live across the country 00:22:25.529 --> 00:22:28.109 from each other now. But I sat on the phone with 00:22:28.109 --> 00:22:33.670 my mom and we got to talking a little bit about 00:22:33.670 --> 00:22:36.009 something that had happened recently with me 00:22:36.009 --> 00:22:40.549 and like me being upset and sad over how a friendship 00:22:40.549 --> 00:22:46.950 ended. And my mom started listening. And it was 00:22:46.950 --> 00:22:51.279 interesting because I Never really had that experience 00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:55.420 with her actually listening to me talk about 00:22:55.420 --> 00:22:59.220 something that had affected me without her having 00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:04.240 a guard up and I always thought that her having 00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:07.960 that guard up when I was a child was She didn't 00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:11.140 love me. She hated me all of these things and 00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:15.619 in reality It made me think and a little light 00:23:15.619 --> 00:23:18.900 bulb went off in my head And I asked her, can 00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:21.599 you tell me a little bit about your childhood? 00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:26.920 And for the first time she was like, yeah. And 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.380 we started talking about it. And the way that 00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:35.460 she described how her dad, I believe he was in 00:23:35.460 --> 00:23:38.259 the Marines. I don't know. He was either a Navy 00:23:38.259 --> 00:23:39.720 SEAL or in the Marines. And I don't remember 00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:42.920 which one it was. But I know for a fact that 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:47.119 he was very strict, very orderly. and she had 00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:50.619 mentioned that he was very hard to talk to. He 00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:54.779 was very assertive and she didn't really have 00:23:54.779 --> 00:23:59.319 a way to talk to him about things. She felt very 00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:04.859 emotionally shut out and didn't really have a 00:24:04.859 --> 00:24:09.390 way to express those emotions. Her mother who 00:24:09.390 --> 00:24:11.990 still, like, even up until the day that she passed, 00:24:12.009 --> 00:24:14.589 and I obviously knew both of them as a kid, and 00:24:14.589 --> 00:24:16.990 he was very stern, even in his older age, you 00:24:16.990 --> 00:24:20.509 could tell. And she's very mousy, very quiet, 00:24:21.430 --> 00:24:25.150 very little, tiny, adorable old lady. Let's go 00:24:25.150 --> 00:24:27.789 bake cookies, and let's make little finger sandwiches. 00:24:28.450 --> 00:24:32.950 And, like, the cutest person in the world, but 00:24:32.950 --> 00:24:35.849 definitely didn't realize when my mom talked 00:24:35.849 --> 00:24:37.970 to me about her as well that... There were some 00:24:37.970 --> 00:24:39.450 things that happened behind closed doors with 00:24:39.450 --> 00:24:42.490 mom too that I as a kid would have never understood 00:24:42.490 --> 00:24:46.190 because I was like, but that's grandma. Like 00:24:46.190 --> 00:24:48.809 grandma's an angel. Grandma would never, but 00:24:48.809 --> 00:24:51.269 we don't know that unless our parents tell us 00:24:51.269 --> 00:24:53.789 about their past and how they were raised. They 00:24:53.789 --> 00:24:56.250 are humans too. They went through the same stages 00:24:56.250 --> 00:24:59.569 that we're going through as adults. And it's 00:24:59.569 --> 00:25:02.329 almost weird when you make that connection that 00:25:02.329 --> 00:25:07.019 your parents are just people and They do deserve 00:25:07.019 --> 00:25:09.279 your respect, but also they need to respect you. 00:25:09.619 --> 00:25:13.039 And when you have those candid moments, we were 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:15.839 talking and she said, I think a lot of how I 00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:20.799 treated you was learned behavior from how I was 00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:24.880 raised. And that emotional shutout response and 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:29.299 not being able to emotionally connect on a level 00:25:29.299 --> 00:25:34.279 that I needed her to growing up wasn't my fault. 00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:38.000 But it wasn't necessarily her fault either because 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:42.579 she was just doing what she knew. And I think 00:25:42.579 --> 00:25:45.640 from a human perspective, it's weird when you 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:49.039 start thinking about other people in your lives 00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:53.319 and how you've seen them as horrible people that 00:25:53.319 --> 00:25:56.279 have shaped like negative things about you and 00:25:56.279 --> 00:26:00.619 start thinking about why that might've happened 00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:02.859 and maybe what they were going through and being 00:26:02.859 --> 00:26:07.250 more empathetic. to their journey as people. 00:26:07.670 --> 00:26:11.130 And after that conversation, I told her I would, 00:26:11.369 --> 00:26:13.769 I hope that we talk about things like this more 00:26:13.769 --> 00:26:19.369 often because 32 years later, we finally had 00:26:19.369 --> 00:26:22.670 that conversation together that I felt connected 00:26:22.670 --> 00:26:27.589 to her for the first time in 32 years. Genuinely, 00:26:27.630 --> 00:26:31.130 I never felt connected until we had that conversation. 00:26:32.390 --> 00:26:37.450 And it was life -changing. Because the way I 00:26:37.450 --> 00:26:40.430 spoke to her and the way she spoke to me was 00:26:40.430 --> 00:26:44.569 mutually respectful very much. I hear you. I 00:26:44.569 --> 00:26:48.109 understand how that was hard for you. I know 00:26:48.109 --> 00:26:51.329 I could have done things differently. And it 00:26:51.329 --> 00:26:54.470 just, it puts everything into a new perspective 00:26:54.470 --> 00:26:58.930 of people aren't all good or bad, even if you 00:26:58.930 --> 00:27:04.440 want them to be. just people and they can do 00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:07.059 really horrible things and live the rest of their 00:27:07.059 --> 00:27:10.700 lives making horrible decisions. But if they 00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:13.420 really do want to change and they really do want 00:27:13.420 --> 00:27:16.299 to try, they're going to slip up, they're going 00:27:16.299 --> 00:27:18.119 to fail, they're going to mess up. It's going 00:27:18.119 --> 00:27:20.839 to happen with all of us. Up until we die, we're 00:27:20.839 --> 00:27:22.420 never going to stop making mistakes and we're 00:27:22.420 --> 00:27:24.160 always going to keep learning. You never get 00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:31.640 too old to learn new lessons. Open my eyes to 00:27:31.640 --> 00:27:34.059 oh my god, my mom's a person and not just mom 00:27:34.059 --> 00:27:37.180 You're not just here to serve as the existence 00:27:37.180 --> 00:27:39.220 of the person that brought me into this world 00:27:39.220 --> 00:27:43.640 You are another soul You are a connection you 00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:47.039 are a being with Hopes and dreams that you probably 00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:50.019 didn't fulfill. There are so many different layers 00:27:50.019 --> 00:27:54.480 to people Not to say that people can't be all 00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:57.039 bad or all good because some people sometimes 00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:01.490 can but You don't really ever know somebody until 00:28:01.490 --> 00:28:04.730 you spend a lot of time in person with them. 00:28:04.730 --> 00:28:07.450 And I stand by that a hundred percent. You can't 00:28:07.450 --> 00:28:11.410 truly know somebody unless you have been in person 00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:14.670 with them for a while and you've learned all 00:28:14.670 --> 00:28:17.690 their habits and their little isms and things 00:28:17.690 --> 00:28:21.750 like that. But it was a huge moment for me because 00:28:21.750 --> 00:28:23.890 I, for the first time, felt like she listened 00:28:23.890 --> 00:28:28.450 to me and she didn't just blame me. for the situation 00:28:28.450 --> 00:28:31.390 that happened that I was upset about. And the 00:28:31.390 --> 00:28:35.450 first time she actually stopped and took moments 00:28:35.450 --> 00:28:39.589 of silence before she responded, like she had 00:28:39.589 --> 00:28:42.089 been learning in therapy, queen. I was like, 00:28:42.369 --> 00:28:45.630 okay, I love that for you. I love that you're 00:28:45.630 --> 00:28:47.970 using therapy language. It's a little late, but 00:28:47.970 --> 00:28:49.390 you know what? It's still fine. It's still fine. 00:28:49.430 --> 00:28:51.910 It's still fine. It's all good. We're good. But 00:28:51.910 --> 00:28:55.960 it's not to excuse anything. that she did wrong 00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:59.519 in the past because she did do a lot of wrong 00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:03.039 things with my upbringing. And I, as well as 00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:05.819 a teenager, did a lot of wrong things too. But 00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:08.619 it's seeing that connection. If you want to keep 00:29:08.619 --> 00:29:12.519 that connection strong, you need to come at it 00:29:12.519 --> 00:29:15.579 with an air of respect and understanding that 00:29:15.579 --> 00:29:18.119 regardless of who this person is, you're both 00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:21.559 human and you're both on the same level with 00:29:21.559 --> 00:29:23.920 each other. No one's better than anybody else. 00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:26.099 The only way you're going to get past something 00:29:26.099 --> 00:29:29.980 and heal and learn how to genuinely connect and 00:29:29.980 --> 00:29:35.180 thrive with other people's energy is by empathy 00:29:35.180 --> 00:29:38.779 and understanding. Holding a grudge and living 00:29:38.779 --> 00:29:43.539 in the past just made me more physically sick. 00:29:43.740 --> 00:29:45.599 Obviously, it doesn't help your mental state. 00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:49.640 It doesn't help your physical state, like my 00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:52.079 chronic illness, for example. When I'm stressed 00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:55.519 out, or I'm like triggered or something, like 00:29:55.519 --> 00:30:00.079 it's worse. It is so much worse. Our brains and 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:02.640 our bodies are very connected to each other. 00:30:03.980 --> 00:30:07.720 And I, in that moment, talking to my mom, I think 00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:12.299 was one of the first times that I felt very, 00:30:13.279 --> 00:30:16.539 I don't know what the word is, but I guess healthy 00:30:16.539 --> 00:30:20.700 almost, like I didn't have as much. like lingering 00:30:20.700 --> 00:30:22.880 pain and stuff because my brain was almost at 00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:28.180 ease and It was like that idea that my relationship 00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:33.160 with my mother was a failure for my entire life 00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:37.900 Resolved in that one conversation that was under 00:30:37.900 --> 00:30:43.279 an hour of just us being able to talk on the 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:46.220 same level and share our experiences with each 00:30:46.220 --> 00:30:49.460 other and Then you start making those connections 00:30:49.549 --> 00:30:52.869 not excusing the behavior. You don't ever excuse 00:30:52.869 --> 00:30:54.490 the behavior because that was still a choice 00:30:54.490 --> 00:30:57.869 that was made and it was wrong. And you should 00:30:57.869 --> 00:31:00.990 always take accountability from that and grow 00:31:00.990 --> 00:31:03.190 from that and learn to not do the same thing 00:31:03.190 --> 00:31:09.490 again. You learn why it happened and how it shapes 00:31:09.490 --> 00:31:12.029 you and this person and your connection to each 00:31:12.029 --> 00:31:15.089 other. And at the end of the day, spiritually, 00:31:15.250 --> 00:31:18.150 we're all energy and we're all connected to each 00:31:18.150 --> 00:31:21.740 other. in a greater way that we will ever really 00:31:21.740 --> 00:31:24.500 know. There are moments when you really have 00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:29.059 heart to hearts with people that can change your 00:31:29.059 --> 00:31:33.680 entire perception of who they are in your life 00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:37.420 and how they have existed in your life. I think 00:31:37.420 --> 00:31:43.059 that was like, I don't even, it was incredible 00:31:43.059 --> 00:31:48.210 and it made me feel almost like part of my inner 00:31:48.210 --> 00:31:52.750 child was healed just from that one conversation 00:31:52.750 --> 00:31:57.970 of having her be open with me and finally like 00:31:57.970 --> 00:31:59.730 letting that guard down and letting that wall 00:31:59.730 --> 00:32:04.309 down and talking to me and acknowledging things 00:32:04.309 --> 00:32:07.509 that she did wrong. And then me also acknowledging 00:32:07.509 --> 00:32:09.289 things I did wrong. And then it's almost like 00:32:09.289 --> 00:32:14.529 that relief that lifts off of you. because you've 00:32:14.529 --> 00:32:18.670 really moved past it. Once you can acknowledge 00:32:18.670 --> 00:32:23.730 it to each other and move past it, it brings 00:32:23.730 --> 00:32:30.650 more space for breathing and more space for being 00:32:30.650 --> 00:32:34.670 grateful that you have these people in your life. 00:32:34.890 --> 00:32:37.410 And you can have that connection with some people 00:32:37.410 --> 00:32:39.990 and some people from your past to your future. 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:45.960 Sometimes you can't, but when you do, it's important 00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:50.259 to see it as, I'm trying to think of the right 00:32:50.259 --> 00:32:55.039 word, but see it as beneficial to your life and 00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:57.960 as a positive experience and not necessarily 00:32:57.960 --> 00:33:01.359 as, but all these other things happen. Okay, 00:33:01.619 --> 00:33:04.660 they have been in the past though. We are focusing 00:33:04.660 --> 00:33:07.599 on the future and growing as people. So what 00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:11.259 can we do now to not repeat that? So I guess 00:33:11.259 --> 00:33:15.519 in a long -winded way, I think my biggest failure 00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:20.319 was how I perceived my upbringing just from my 00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:23.660 side and never from hers. And it's because we 00:33:23.660 --> 00:33:27.619 didn't talk, we didn't communicate. So some people 00:33:27.619 --> 00:33:31.059 never get that chance and that's heartbreaking. 00:33:31.059 --> 00:33:34.539 And I still think that everybody is very multilayered 00:33:34.539 --> 00:33:37.440 and relationships are multilayered. We're never 00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:40.119 truly gonna know what another person feels. or 00:33:40.119 --> 00:33:41.700 why they do what they do or what they think. 00:33:42.839 --> 00:33:45.299 But that understanding, that empathy helps us 00:33:45.299 --> 00:33:47.819 get just a little bit closer to living in harmony 00:33:47.819 --> 00:33:51.299 with one another without the biases and the judgment 00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:55.519 of putting people above or below us in our lives. 00:33:56.579 --> 00:34:00.339 And that's my spiel. Thank you for sharing. Thank 00:34:00.339 --> 00:34:05.220 you. Do you guys have any other thoughts on our 00:34:05.220 --> 00:34:08.940 topic today? I feel like my one was pretty basic 00:34:08.940 --> 00:34:11.300 compared to what the rest of you guys said. It 00:34:11.300 --> 00:34:15.739 was still good. It was still wonderful, don't 00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:19.679 even. Don't belittle yourself like that. It was 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:22.079 the safest option for a podcast that I can think 00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:26.920 of. Yeah, you can say if you can go deep. It's 00:34:26.920 --> 00:34:28.619 ultimately whatever you're comfortable with. 00:34:29.019 --> 00:34:33.239 To me, that was my big moment this past year 00:34:33.239 --> 00:34:36.630 where I was like, whoa. You still do cringy things, 00:34:36.829 --> 00:34:39.190 Mom. You still cringy sometimes, and sometimes 00:34:39.190 --> 00:34:41.550 I just want to be like, what are you doing? Cringe 00:34:41.550 --> 00:34:46.750 is eternal. Why are you like this? Terminal cringy. 00:34:47.650 --> 00:34:50.190 But it's with the same air of I don't see you 00:34:50.190 --> 00:34:53.510 as a monster in my life anymore. I see you as 00:34:53.510 --> 00:34:56.610 just a flawed human being that annoys me quite 00:34:56.610 --> 00:34:59.949 often, but I still love you anyway. Just like 00:34:59.949 --> 00:35:03.579 my wife. It was lovely to speak with you guys 00:35:03.579 --> 00:35:06.420 today and to talk about some experiences about 00:35:06.420 --> 00:35:09.239 our failures and how we think about them now 00:35:09.239 --> 00:35:13.420 and how it shaped us as people. And if you guys 00:35:13.420 --> 00:35:16.340 enjoyed this podcast, please support it in any 00:35:16.340 --> 00:35:19.460 way you can. We have a Ko -fi and a Patreon and 00:35:19.460 --> 00:35:23.059 just liking or sharing. Anything helps. Thank 00:35:23.059 --> 00:35:28.590 you to my guests. But thank you for joining me 00:35:28.590 --> 00:35:30.929 to all my guests, Dark Ringer, Chloe and Stuart. 00:35:30.989 --> 00:35:33.449 Hopefully you guys can join me again on the next 00:35:33.449 --> 00:35:37.289 one. Right, possibly. Perfect. Do you guys have 00:35:37.289 --> 00:35:40.590 any closing thoughts? Eat your vegetables and 00:35:40.590 --> 00:35:42.170 don't talk back to your elders no matter who 00:35:42.170 --> 00:35:44.769 they are. And what about Dark Ringer and Stuart? 00:35:44.889 --> 00:35:47.190 Any last thoughts? I guess that all the topic 00:35:47.190 --> 00:35:49.869 of this, like I said at the beginning, like we've 00:35:49.869 --> 00:35:52.650 been same track. You're going, you're going to 00:35:52.650 --> 00:35:57.400 make mistakes. Just be prepared to evaluate your 00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:01.079 own mistakes. And self -reflection is never bad. 00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:06.159 Yes, absolutely. All right. Thank you guys again 00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:08.800 for joining me and for spending time on the podcast. 00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:13.260 And to everybody listen, drink water, make sure 00:36:13.260 --> 00:36:16.760 you eat healthy and do everything right by yourself 00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:19.480 and hug somebody that you love today and tell 00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:21.619 them something you love about them because it'll 00:36:21.619 --> 00:36:23.769 brighten their day. All right. Thank you guys 00:36:23.769 --> 00:36:27.070 for listening and we'll be back soon. Bye. Bye.