Hey everyone, my name is Austin and welcome back
to another episode of the Unfiltered Faith Podcast.
If this is your first time tuning in, I'm so
glad you're here, and if you've been here before,
welcome back. Whether you're single and loving
it, struggling with it, or somewhere in between,
today's conversation is for you. We'll be exploring
what the Bible says about singleness, some practical
advice, real life examples, and encouragement
for whatever season you're in. So if you like
to take notes, I encourage you. And while you're
at it, have your Bibles out, because we're going
to be looking through several passages of scripture
that will help us with our discussion today.
So for the last couple of weeks, I sat down with
two couples from different perspectives of marriage,
one being divorced and the other newlyweds, answering
the question, why is marriage so romanticized?
And if you haven't already, please be sure to
check those episodes out. I'll be sure to link
both of those episodes in the description below.
to both of these couples gave me a really good
idea to talk about singleness. So shout out to
them. So how do you view your single life right
now? Do you see your singleness as a curse or
a gift? Do you view your singleness as a season
in your life to pass through as quickly as possible?
Or do you view your singleness as a season to
lean into and embrace? Do you view your singleness
as a relational desert or a relational oasis?
Do you view singleness as a waiting room or an
opportunity? I want you to pause the podcast
and take some time for yourself to reflect on
these questions. Hey, welcome back. I hope you
took a few moments to sit with those questions.
Really sit with them, because how we frame our
singleness has everything to do with how we walk
through it. First, let's knock down one of the
biggest lies. Singleness is not God's consolation
prize. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, 7 through
8, I wish that all of you were as I am. but each
of you has your own gift from God. One has this
gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried,
and to the widowed I say, it is good for them
to stay unmarried as I do. Did you catch that?
Paul doesn't call marriage the better gift, just
a different gift. Marriage has its blessings
and its challenges. Likewise, singleness has
its blessings and challenges. Neither is superior.
Both are opportunities to glorify God. Y 'all,
I've heard from so many married couples that
marriage is hard. I'm gonna take a chapter out
of the book of Cole real quick. Marriage is hard,
divorce is hard, so choose your hard. Do you
have enough self -control to put your needs aside
to take care of the person that you vow to? When
following Jesus, there's this idea of dying to
yourself daily, and the same principle applies
to marriage. People think that marriage is one
big slumber party, or someone to always hang
out with. But I think marriage is so much more
than that. I'm not married, I've never been married,
and married couples can probably back me up on
this when I say this, but marriage is like a
ministry. It's not about being served, it's about
serving. It's not about happiness, it's about
holiness. People enter marriage and relationships
looking for love, but I think God uses marriage
to perfect our love. I think it's about becoming
the right person, not about finding the right
person. Here are some more lies people may have
told you about singleness. Number one. Only half
a person is living half a life. You constantly
hear couples talking about their better half,
and that's great, but that kind of implies that
you are incomplete and you need someone to complete
you. The reality is, you only need Jesus to make
you whole. Number two, you're missing out on
an abundance of life. Let's face it, when you
hear those well -meaning friends in a relationship
say, you're missing out, What they really mean
is that they believe a romantic partner unlocks
doors to experiences that are otherwise inaccessible.
They found their companion in the chaos of life.
And in their eyes, that's the ultimate prize.
But is that true? Are single people missing out
on something grand? Let's dissect this even further.
First, let's acknowledge the happiness that comes
from companionship. Yes, relationships can be
beautiful. They can provide emotional support.
Intimacy, and a sense of belonging. But to equate
that with a lack of abundance and life for singles
is a misguided notion. People in relationships
often forget that abundance isn't exclusively
found in romantic partnership. Think about it.
Friendships, family bonds, and community ties
offer the rich tapestry of experiences. And here's
the kicker. Being single doesn't mean you're
alone. It means you're choosing to cultivate
your life on your terms. You're free to discover
who you are, what you love, and what you want
without the compromises that often come with
romantic involvement. That's not missing out.
That's living fully. Have you ever noticed how
many single people are out there trying new things,
joining clubs, exploring new hobbies, or even
diving into the careers? They're not waiting
for someone else to validate their experiences.
They're creating them. Number three, I'll be
alone forever. I'll always be alone without a
partner. I hate to break it to you. I hate to
break it to you. But if you have this mindset,
it'll probably be true. And what I mean by that
is your mind moves in the direction of your strongest
thoughts. Number four, you'll always live an
unfulfilled life without sex. When I was preparing
for this episode and I came across that, I didn't
even know where to begin with that and list all
the things wrong with that statement. So here
are my thoughts on that and I'll try to keep
this brief. First of all, if you only want to
be in a relationship because of sex, then you're
getting into a relationship for all the wrong
reasons. Number 5. Singleness is a curse. If
you believe singleness is a curse, you'll carry
it like a burden. If you believe singleness is
a gift, you'll steward it with gratitude and
intention. Singleness is not a lesser season.
It's not Plan B. It's not God forgetting about
you, overlooking you, or putting you on the back
burner. It is a season full of purpose, a time
of becoming, of healing, of discovering who you
are in God without distraction. What you believe
about singleness determines how you live it.
Singleness is described as a gift, not a burden.
But let's be honest, right? Sometimes it doesn't
feel like a gift, especially when you're attending
weddings every other weekend, scrolling through
engagement photos, or hearing family members
ask, so when are you getting married? Paul isn't
dismissing the longing for companionship. He's
just highlighting that singleness offers unique
opportunities to serve God wholeheartedly. Could
it be that singleness right now is God's invitation
to a deeper, undistracted relationship with Him?
What would change if you started seeing singleness
not as a waiting room, but as an act of calling
for a season? I want to make this clear that
loneliness and being alone are not the same thing.
Loneliness is a feeling. a painful awareness
of disconnection, even when people are around.
Being alone, however, is simply a physical state,
and it can actually be a gift. Jesus often chose
to be alone to pray, recharge, and reconnect
with the Father. Being alone can be a sacred
space where we hear God's voice more clearly,
grow in self -awareness, and find deep peace.
Loneliness may call for community, but healthy
solitude invites us into intimacy with God. Let's
be honest, even when you know singleness is a
gift, It can still feel really lonely sometimes,
but loneliness doesn't mean you're unloved. Loneliness
doesn't mean you're broken. Even Jesus in his
singleness experienced loneliness. Hebrews 4
.15 reminds us, for we do not have a high priest
who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses.
Jesus understands. He gets it. Not from a distance,
but from personal experience. You can be surrounded
by people and still feel lonely. You can be married
and still feel deeply alone. Here are some practical
tips to combat loneliness. First of all, bring
your loneliness to God in prayer. Not just your
polished prayers, but your raw ones. Number two,
stay connected with community. Find life -giving
friendships that don't just revolve around marital
status. Number three, serve others. Sometimes
the cure for loneliness is to get outside yourself
and meet others. We need to create a culture
of pursuing. A mindset where singleness isn't
seen as a holding pattern or second best season,
but as a powerful launching pad into everything
God has called us to be. Too often, singleness
gets treated like a waiting room, where people
sit around, hoping life will really begin once
they meet the one. But that's not God's design.
This is a season meant for movement, for growth,
for building. It's time to pursue deep intimacy
with God. Discover... and live out our purpose.
Cultivate meaningful relationships and solidify
the values that will anchor our lives. When we
stop seeing singleness as a pause and start seeing
it as a platform, we step into the fullness of
who we're meant to be, not later, but right now.
First, we need to pursue intimacy, not just with
people, but with God first. Psalm 73, 28 says,
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have
made the sovereign Lord my refuge. When you're
single, you have the unique gift, time, and emotional
energy to build deep intimacy with the one who
made you. Your relationship with God now will
shape every relationship you have later. Cultivate
closeness with Jesus. Being single should enrich
your time with Jesus. Second, we should pursue
purpose. Your calling isn't on hold because you're
single. Ephesians 2 10 said, so we can do the
good things he planned for us long ago. Your
gifts, your dreams, they're meant for today.
Serve, build, create. You don't need a plus one
to pursue the mission God has put on your heart.
Make the most of every opportunity to serve and
to bless others. What opportunities has God given
you in the season of singleness? And third, pursue
relationships. notice I didn't say pursue dating
I said pursue relationships friendships mentorships
community Proverbs 27 17 says as iron sharpens
iron so one sharp person sharpens another build
strong friendships now practice loyalty forgiveness
and encouragement healthy community now lays
the foundation for a healthy marriage later if
that's part of your journey it says in Genesis
that it is not good for man to be alone We are
designed for relationships. But I think people,
myself included, get it twisted when they see
the word relationship, and their minds immediately
think of romance. But the truth is, there's more
than one type of relationship. Other than romantic,
a relationship can also mean platonic, family,
work, or teacher -student. And there's probably
more, but that's a good list to get us started.
Start developing deep, meaningful friendships
now. Practice hospitality, initiate, and be intentional.
Invite people into existing friendships. A desire
to be married isn't bad, but if we complain,
we will miss opportunities given with being single.
Fourth, pursue values. Know what you believe,
know what matters to you, and live it. Matthew
6 .33 says, but seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness, and all these things will
be added to you. Don't compromise your values
while you wait. Don't mute your convictions to
fit into someone else's story. Pursue the life
God has called you to. Fully. Courageously and
without apology. Set the values you want to live
throughout your life. Figure out your values
you want to live by, or you will compromise more
than you want. There's purpose in the present.
You are called now. One of the biggest dangers
in singleness is thinking, when I get married,
then I'll live fully. Then I'll be mature. Then
I'll pursue ministry. then I'll settle down and
be serious about life. No, God is calling you
now. Ephesians 2 10 says, for we are God's handiwork,
creating Christ Jesus to do good works, which
God prepared in advance for us to do. Notice
it didn't say after marriage or once you have
it all together. What passions has God put in
your heart right now? What ministry opportunities
are you free to say yes to that you might not
have later? If you're single for any amount of
time, you know the pressure is real. When are
you going to settle down? You're not getting
any younger. You're too picky. People often mean
well, but sometimes they don't realize the weight
of their words. Proverbs 18 -21 reminds us, the
tongue has the power of life and death. Words
shape us. So here's your permission. You don't
have to explain your singleness. You don't have
to justify it. You are not a problem to solve.
Here's some practical advice for responding gracefully.
Smile. Think them and change the subject. Practice
a few polite responses ahead of time so you're
not caught off guard. Pray for grace, not just
for you, but also for them. We live in a comparison
culture world. Scrolling Instagram and seeing
engagement photos, receiving save the dates after
save the date. It's easy to feel left behind,
but listen. God doesn't operate on human timelines.
Ecclesiastes 3 .1 says, There is a time and place
for everything, and a season for every activity
under the sun. Your timeline not look like your
best friends. Your blessings might bloom in a
different season, and that's okay. If you desire
marriage, it's okay to hope. It's not wrong to
desire marriage. It's not less spiritual to long
for companionship. The danger comes when it becomes
an idol. When marriage becomes the thing we think
we must have to be happy. Psalm 37 -4 says, take
delight in the Lord, and he will give you the
desires of your heart. Notice it doesn't say
God is a vending machine. It says first, delight
yourself in him. Then watch how your heart changes
and aligns with his best. Thriving in singleness
doesn't always look like what the world expects.
It's not about pretending you don't care about
relationships. It's not about acting tough or
being too busy. It's about walking in freedom,
purpose, and joy right where you are. There will
be hard days. Let's be honest about that. The
wedding invitations, the holiday dinners, the
moments you wish someone was there to share it
with. Jesus understands loneliness. Matthew 26
38 says my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to
the point of death. He said to his disciples
He was abandoned misunderstood betrayed you were
not alone in your loneliness. You were not forgotten
in your waiting So what if I never get married?
This is a tough question and the truth is marriage
isn't guaranteed then the Bible never promises
it But our hope isn't a change of status. It's
in the unchanging love of God Romans chapter
8 verses 38 and 39 says, Convince that neither
death nor life, neither angel nor demon, nor
anything else in all creation will be able to
separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus our Lord. You may not know how your story
ends, but you can know who is writing it. When
we look through scripture, we see so many powerful
examples of people who lived full purposeful,
driven lives without marriage. First of all,
Jesus, the ultimate example of wholeness, love,
and mission. Jesus lived the most impactful life
in history. Single, surrendered, and completely
aligned with the Father's will. Second, Paul.
As an apostle, missionary, and writer of much
of the New Testament, Paul embraced singleness
as a gift that gave him freedom to spread the
gospel across the world. Number three, Miriam,
the sister of Moses, a prophetess and worship
litigator who played a crucial role in heeding
the Israelites and celebrating God's deliverance.
Mary Magdalene, a faithful follower of Jesus,
entrusted with the honor of announcing his resurrection,
one of the most important messages in history.
Notice this. Their influence wasn't diminished
because they were single. In fact, their singleness
allowed them to focus fully on the mission God
had for them. To worship, to lead, to teach,
to serve. You don't need a spouse to live a life
of eternal impact. You only need a healing heart
and a surrendered spirit. Here are seven signs
that suggest you might be thriving in singleness.
Number one, you know your worth comes from God,
not your relationship status. You don't need
a relationship to prove your value. You know
you are fully loved, fully seen, and fully chosen
by God. Isaiah 43 .1 says, do not fear for I
have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name.
You are mine. You aren't chasing love to feel
validated. You're walking in love because you
already are. Number two, you are invested in
your relationship with God. You're using this
season to go deeper with Jesus, spending real
time in the Word, prayer, and worship. James
4 .8 says, come near to God and he will come
near to you. Your faith isn't on pause until
marriage. It's flourishing right now. Number
three, you practice healthy boundaries. Thriving
means you're not saying yes out of guilt, loneliness,
or pressure. You protect your peace. You choose
your relationships wisely. Friends dating family
and you know that no is a holy word sometimes
Proverbs 4 23 says above all else guard your
heart for everything you do flows from it Number
four you are building a life. You love you're
pursuing passions hobbies education dreams You're
exploring creating growing not waiting for someone
else to complete you Colossians 3 23 says Whatever
you do will work at it with all your heart as
working for the Lord not for human masters Number
five you were content, but honest you're able
to say I'm content where God has me and I still
have a desire for the future without shame bitterness
or despair Philippians 4 11 through 12 says I
have learned to be content Whatever the circumstances
contentment doesn't mean the absence of longing
it means the presence of peace number six You
celebrate others without comparing. You can genuinely
cheer when friends get engaged, married, or have
kids without feeling less than. You know that
their blessings don't subtract from yours. God's
goodness is not in limited supply. Romans 12,
15 says, rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn
with those who mourn. Number seven, you live
with open hands. You trust God with your future,
whether that includes marriage or not. You live
surrendered knowing that whatever he brings will
be good because he is good Psalms 84 11 says
no good thing does he withhold from those who
walk is blameless At the end of the day we get
to choose the question is what kind of season
will I live in? Will I live disconnected inward
and lonely or will I live full? lively with love
and devotion to God and to others With the right
perspective and meaningful things to pursue,
you can and will live a fruitful, fulfilling,
and content life as a single person however long
this season lasts for you. Making the most of
your season of singleness starts now. Alright,
before we wrap up today's episodes, here's your
challenge for the week. Do one thing this week
that brings you joy in your singleness. It could
be taking yourself out on a coffee date or signing
up for a class you've always wanted to try. going
on a hike and spending time with God and nature,
hiding a list of 10 things you love about your
current season, or hosting a dinner party with
friends and celebrating community. The goal instead
of seeing singleness as a season you're getting
through, see it as a season you're living fully.
Remember, your life isn't on hold. It's happening
right now. Thank you for joining me on the Unfiltered
Faith Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode
on singleness or know someone struggling in their
season of singleness, please share it with them.
I'd love to connect with you. Consider following
me on Instagram at the Unfiltered Faith Podcast.
Until next time, keep seeking those fresh perspectives
and keep having those unfiltered conversations
with someone to better understand the world around
us.