Hey there, everybody, and welcome to the Mark
Moe Show, Season 7, Episode 5, Pipebomb! You can
find us on all podcast platforms and YouTube.
I'd like to introduce to you my co -host and
producer, Aidan Maloney. What's going on, dude?
How are you? Hola. I'm chilling, feeling like
a normal human being today. Oh, I bet you are.
Yeah, about as normal as one can feel. I know.
How are you feeling today? Like ass. Oh, no.
Yeah, I got COVID and really kind of hit me last
Sunday. I had a cough for several days. Just
a cough. We had talked about allergies and we
had had all sorts of rain. So who knows what
was going on? So that's all I thought because
that's all I had. And then Sunday came and my
health world came crumbling down around me and
just felt like awful. Like a freight train. Pretty
much. Yeah. And then pretty much figured out
what I had almost immediately because I've had
it before. And so Sunday, Monday, Tuesday were
bad, bad days. Went to work on Wednesday. Felt
terrible. And then worked remotely Thursday and
then worked yesterday. But, you know, it's. Still
fatigued and it's like even though the cough's
better. Like I just have these coughing fits.
You ever have a coughing fit where like you almost
throw up? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are terrible.
Yeah. I was having those five, six, seven times
a day. Ugh. Like where I just could not stop
coughing. I'm like, I'm going to spew. I better.
do this near the bathroom because something's
about to happen. That's brutal, man. Yeah, it
kept happening. And it's just like then by like
Thursday, Friday, like my sides hurt, my stomach
hurt because all I've been doing is coughing.
And so, yeah, that was it was a thing, man. It
was definitely a thing. So I'm going to try to
make it through this show cough free. Coughless.
Coughless if I can. But yeah, it was it was a
thing. It's been a thing here in northwest Indiana
for a hot minute. Like going around. they're
saying well nationally covet is is back um and
it's the numbers are starting to grow there's
some new variant awesome um so it is what it
is so if you have your shots good on you for
getting your shots they're not gonna do any good
yeah just just so you know i've had shots four
times and i've had covet three so i don't know
do the math on that i guess I don't know. Chances
are if I had zero shots, I would have had it
three times. If I had all my shots, I've had
it three times. You know. Yeah. And I'm not an
anti -shot guy. Trust me. I'm very much in support
of, you know, pharmaceuticals when necessary
and science and all of that. But at some point,
you got to be like, all right, are these working?
What's the efficacy? Like, it's sensical that.
Viruses mutate. Yeah. Sure. But in the same breath,
it's like, what am I going to get the shot for
if... Right. Oh, it's upwards of 50 % effective.
Like, okay. I've had my measles, mumps, and rubella
since I was a kid. You know what I've never had
in my lifetime? Measles, mumps, or rubella. So
it's like, to me, it's like, oh, that works.
It's like, oh, make sure you get COVID shot.
Why? Yeah, I mean, it also doesn't help that
this dog shit government has cut all sorts of
funding and... Oh, yeah. And education and mRNA
and all that fun stuff. Research. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, everybody's shitting because of lettuce.
That was due to cuts, so... And now even more.
It's like blueberries and jalapenos. Like, all
sorts of food is just filled with parasites and
shit now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's where now, as
a meat eater, I'm just kind of like... Yeah,
I'm good. Yeah. Now, that's just for now. It
doesn't mean, like, Mad Cow's not going to sprout
up and, like, I'm eating ground beef and I end
up sprouting a third eye. I mean, who knows?
They already said that one worm, screwworm or
whatever, is found in Texas beef or something
like that. Oh, yay. Yeah. Everybody's favorite.
That's, I mean, hey, man, if I'm going to have
a T -bone, you know, T -bone a la screwworm,
you know. Yeah. It's the way to serve it. Whatever
worm died in RFK's lack of a brain, I think is
now in your beef. It's the one calling the shots
on health and safety in the country, which is
really cool. It's awesome. God, what a great
place. But I'm sure we'll talk more about this
in a little bit. Yeah, so it's been a week, almost
two weeks. It's been a while. It's been a while.
But hey, you know, let's just talk about this.
Aiden's got a gaming channel. It's called Aiden
spelled the right way. And new PC gaming content,
a lot of horror movie stuff, GeoGuessr, PolyBridge,
all kinds of neat stuff you can go back and watch.
Now, due to power outages, due to tornadoes and
duratios and all kinds of crazy -ass weather
that we're having, Aiden hasn't been online much
lately? This is correct. But I imagine he'll
be kind of, quote unquote, getting back up on
the horse. So what do you got planned? Yeah,
we are so back, finally. Yes. After so many,
God, it felt like years, but it was the longest
seven and a half days of my life. But yeah, we're
back. We're cruising. We've got some AV assembly
coming up. Dozens and dozens of horror games
I have not played, but do own. So I'm excited
about that. And then just getting back to basics.
Playing some more GeoGuessr is always fun. Hanging
out, making fun of the French. I mean, it's half
of what we do now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It is definitely
what we do. And we also do it together on A &M
Gaming. So it's a collaborative thing that we
started doing with gaming and with this show.
And it's been a lot of... A lot of fun, a lot
of improvisational hijinks and whatnot. So you
can, once again, on the gaming stuff, it's all
on YouTube. And, of course, the Mark Mo Show,
YouTube, and all podcast platforms. So like and
subscribe and share and all that kind of good
stuff. So, yeah. So this week's... And I'm going
to do my best here, ladies and gentlemen. As
I said, I was without a voice for several days.
So the fact that I have any sort of voice today
is a miracle in itself. But we call this one
Pipe Bomb. Because we just, you know, we decided
after two weeks of nonsense that maybe we just
had a few things to get off our chest. Yeah.
Air our grievances. Oh, yeah, for sure. So that
being the case, I'm going to let my esteemed
colleague, Aiden, kick things off. And for those
not in the know, the terminology pipe bomb, no,
it's not like we're going to blow shit up. Although
blowing shit up is kind of fun. Yeah. It's kind
of the American way. This is true. We do. You
know, overthrowing a tyrannical government if
we wanted to. Right. If we felt like it. Yeah.
Hypothetically. Yeah. Or, you know, there's those.
You know, wackadoo Americans that apparently
have something against mailboxes. I don't know
what that's all about. Beats me. I don't know.
But that's not the type of pipe bombs we're talking
about. Back way back when. Yeah. Professional
wrestler, CM Punk, also known as Phil Brooks,
and kind of near the end of his tenure with his
first run in WWE, they gave him a microphone
and told him to say what he was going to say,
to which he replied, you sure about that? They
had to cut his mic. Yep. Because he was speaking
truth and doing it very well. And so that was
referred to as a pipe bomb. Yeah. So when people
get behind a microphone and have some shit to
say, that's kind of the terminology. Yeah. Yeah.
These days. So I will let Aiden kick us off with
said pipe bomb. Yeah. So I just want to begin.
With a little event that happened, what, 11 days
ago? Yeah. Give or take. The unprecedented storm
that swept through Chicagoland and smashed the
hell out of Chicagoland, northwest Indiana area.
I guess there were reports saying that if it
wasn't on land, it would have been classified
as a Cat 2 or Cat 3 hurricane. Hurricane, yeah.
And so that was, what, 120? Mile an hour winds
sustained for like... I drove through it. Yeah.
35, 40 minutes. And 300 ,000 people in northwest
Indiana lost power. Now, due to the dog shit
company known as Nipsco, I think parent company
is Nisource, but they're both shit. We're pretty
used to power outages here. I mean, we're on
antiquated grids with... shitty poles they never
upgrade and trees hanging over lines they just
don't care about so we're pretty used to the
power going out you know blips on and off maybe
it goes out for an hour because god forbid the
wind got a little too breezy on a day yeah right
so i feel like a majority of nipsco customers
are fairly used to the power going out for an
hour or two on any given day. So I don't think
a lot of people quite realized how long this
would all last, right? Because the storm was
insane. Like, you were driving through it. I
was on the tail end of my shift at my job in
a tractor trailer, which is not where you want
to be with winds that crazy. So I think a majority...
With all that in mind, I feel like even like
severity of the storm aside, maybe it was going
to be out for a day, maybe half a day. Uh, no,
no. Because of the aforementioned shitty poles,
unkempt trees, uh, 300 ,000 people were out of
power for an extended period of time. Myself
included. We at home here were out of power for
seven and a half days. And as of today, I believe
day 11. We're still looking at over 30 ,000 people
without power going on 11 plus days. No power.
And it's, is it a first world problem to be so
bent out of shape without having power for X
amount of time? Yeah, you could argue that. But
in the same breath, there's a weird dichotomy
of when I leave my house. 90 degrees humid as
hell outside, which means it's 89 degrees and
humid as hell inside, and I have to go clock
into work like everything's fine. It was so demoralizing
and infuriating that this shitty company, record
profits, literally record -breaking profits over
the last year, mind you, They locked out their
damn workers because they couldn't come to a
contract with the union. That's what this company
is. Of course, you could argue this is bigger,
this is more macro, this is capitalism, profit
-maxing, corporations don't care about people.
I know that's all true. But it's different when
you're in it. It's different when you can't charge
your car because your house is dead. And it's
humid as hell. You're spending a shit ton of
money on gas on a little generator just to have
your fridge work and a little fan blowing on
you. It was insane. And it's so American to have
these shitty private utility companies with infrastructure
from the 1950s and 60s ready to fail. Yeah. Boasting
about record -breaking profits. And locking their
own workers out of working. Like, it was a damn
blessing that we got crews of linemen, electrical
workers, from across the country. I think there
were reports of crews coming in from, like, Connecticut
and Florida. We got, I think, com ed help from
Illinois. Like, if we didn't have that, maybe
it would be, what, a month without power? A couple
weeks? I mean, seven and a half days was rough
enough. Yeah. There's still people out in Gary
and Munster, Lake Station, Portage. Like, it's
just a goddamn nightmare. And I know you were
out of power for a handful of days as well. Yeah.
I think four, three or four on your side. Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, three. Three? Mm -hmm. It's
just, I don't know, it's one of those things
that's just become a staple of life as we know
it here. is just having electricity when you
come home or having water when you come home.
And it's just, especially with shitty, privately
owned utility companies, it absolutely can just
be taken away in a heartbeat to meet whatever
bonus they need to on next quarter's profit margin.
It's so upsetting. Yeah. It's infuriating because...
The people that they serve really aren't the
people that they serve. Hell no. Ultimately.
And that part of it's frustrating. Think of the
shareholders. Think of the C -suite. Yeah. That's
a real issue. The fact that, what did we get
from the federal government? $10 million. Which
half of that will go to repair a bridge in central
Indiana. Right. What are we doing? Right. Any
funds that FEMA is sending to NIPSCO, that's
not coming to the customers. No. That's not going
to pay for all of the food lost, for all of the
gas spent on generators, productivity lost at
home. Oh, the businesses. Yeah. None of that's
falling down to us. Nope. I know there's a class
action lawsuit, and I hope everybody jumps in
on that. Um, when given the opportunity to, and
Hey, who knows what that means? I've, I've been
part of these class action things before. Um,
one with a data breach and one was something
else. And I, I think the largest one I ever got
was like $38. Wow. I think one was like 20 something.
One was like 30 something. So ultimately you're
going to have so many people jump in on this
class action thing. And the class action suit
itself is going to seem massive, right? They're
going to be like, Oh, it's a hundred million
dollar lawsuit. But you have millions of people
jumping in. Right. It's not, you know. Yeah,
you're going to have. It won't pay for a bill.
Right. You're going to have at least 300 ,000
individuals jump in. Yeah. Then you're going
to have hundreds of businesses jump in. Then
the lawyers are going to take a cut. Oh, yeah.
And what do we get? What do we get? $38. Cool.
Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. Thanks so much. It's
just, there's not enough negative adjectives
in. In the English language to describe how shitty
that seven and a half days was or how despicable
this company is. There were mayors of cities
in Indiana trying to get information from NIPSCO
that either got A, nothing, or B, just boilerplate,
we're working on it kind of responses. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. How? How can a private company? infrastructure
company have that much power where a mayor can't
get a damn answer from them? That makes no sense.
None. None. Should be a publicly owned by the
government company. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know. And also, looking at this from
a different aspect, the whole unprecedented type
weather event, we knew this was going to happen.
It's going to continue happening. Yeah. 99 %
of scientists know that climate change is real
and it's going to bring severe weather events
and nonsensical seasons. Tornado Alley, now in
the Midwest, now featuring Indiana, now featuring
Illinois. This shit is going to keep happening.
Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, it definitely will. And with,
what is it now, a trillion dollars of American
money going towards... The military. Every year,
instead of roads and schools and infrastructure,
or even infrastructure like, oh, I don't know,
privately owned power companies. Every weather
event is going to be like this, I fear. Every
insane weather event is just going to bring this
damn country to a halt. And I know this is more
micro compared to the 300 million people here.
But that's 300 ,000 Americans just in Indiana
alone. That doesn't include the Illinois side
that was out of power. 300 ,000 people without
power. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Slow ass response. I would
hazard a guess. I don't even think NIPSCO had
a fucking emergency plan. Oh, I don't think so.
With how dog shit their rollout was, how slow
everything was. And that's the thing. It's weather
is not getting better. It's getting worse. The
climate is changing. And it has been. And there
are several reasons why this quote unquote new
tornado alley is more like in Illinois, Wisconsin
and Indiana. One of the largest parts is agribusiness
is one of the main reasons that's happening in
June, July and August. But all that being said,
if we know that, if the science is there and
we know that, how the hell do they not know that?
And because emergency situations like they have
to be prepared for that. If you know, if this
happens, break glass. If this happens, ABCD.
Right. I mean, it's like they have to know. So
how can this happen? Even as unprecedented as
it is, guess what? It's happened. Now it's no
longer unprecedented. Right. Right. This type
of shit is going to happen. We're going. Hell,
I remember when you were a kid and we had the
remnants of a tropical storm. Is it Eddie? Hurricane
Ike. Ike? Is that what it was? I think it was
Ike. And it came up through kind of right along
the Mississippi River until it kind of made its
turn into central Illinois and Indiana and Michigan
and Ohio. And granted, by the time it got up
here, but it was so warm and humid at that time
of the year for us, the thing still had a lot
of power to it. And didn't really subside until
it got well into like Michigan and Canada. Even
Canada got a shit ton of rain from it. I think
we got feet of rain. We did. We did. There was
a dude that was canoeing down our street. I think
it was Stonehill. It's canoeing. Yeah. You know,
there's two feet of water out there. He's like,
I can canoe. Yeah. Why not? He's taking lemons
and making lemonade at that point. So he's like,
I might as well canoe. It's no longer unprecedented.
These weather things happen. So you have to have
this shit in place. Not, oh, well, give us several
days to kind of look at everything. No, you know.
Yeah. You know. You literally own it all. And
if you don't know, that means you're negligent.
Yeah. If you cannot manage what you own, that's
a problem. Especially when your people's bills
have been tripled and quadrupled in recent years.
Yeah, my power bill. Now, this is power and gas
combined. I just got, right before the storm
came in, it was like $390. Yeah. For a 900 -some
-odd -square -foot home. How does that make any
fucking sense? I don't know. I don't know. If
they have the balls to charge people for this
month's utility bill, I'm throwing hands. I don't
care who it is. I'm throwing hands. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I get it. Yeah, I just wanted to rant a little
bit about that. I wanted to try and keep my head
screwed on right and make logical points and
just bring up what happened, especially here
at home, because that was my life, our life for
seven and a half days. God damn, it was terrible.
Absolutely terrible. So just wanted to drop a
little pipe bomb like that. Nipsco, if you're
listening, go fuck yourself. Any of the... The
line workers out there, appreciate you. All the
traveling ones, doing the Lord's work out there,
fellas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, mine
is going to be a little bit more, oh, I don't
know, all -encompassing. Not just this, which
was a thing. And for those of you that follow
the show, you know, have caught most of our episodes,
first of all, thank you. I'm not pipe bombing
you. Yeah. You are exempt. We appreciate you.
However, mine was going to be more encompassing
in that a lot of times when you have the certain
situations, you learn who you can trust. You
learn who your friends are. I know the type of
person that I am. I checked on most everyone
I knew. How are you doing? Do you need help with
anything? You got power? You need food? Now,
that's just the way I'm made. Or should I say,
the way I was made. I suppose I should give that
credit to your grandma and papa, for sure. But
that's how I'm made. I always and always will
care a hell of a lot more about other people
than I do myself. It's just the way that I work.
Now, that's a tough way to live, especially...
when that is not necessarily being reciprocated
often. And this has to do with people that you
know professionally, people that you know personally,
people you even may be related to. And you sit
down, especially when you have no power. Right.
And it's warm and it's dark and you're just like,
you can't sleep because you've got COVID. It
was a thing, ladies and gentlemen. When all that's
going on, you can't help but sit there and dwell
on how disappointing some people are. And I suppose
I shouldn't expect that others should live by
my code or how I carry myself because that, I
think that you just get set up for disappointment.
And I've had friends, hell, I had a therapist
tell me that. It was like, you can't, you can't
live that way. Because if you live the life of
someone who does care about others, is always
willing to give of themselves. Hell, I was that
way when I didn't have anything. But that's just
the way I was made. And the more you get to know
people and, as I said, sometimes they're even
related to you. And you just realize how disappointing
of a person that that person has become. And
there's really not much you can do about that.
Because at this point in life, regardless of
how well you may or may not know that person,
they're grown ass adults. Nothing you can do
about it anymore. Not a goddamn thing. And so
for me, all I can do is be me. That's it. That's
all I can do. But I can also not feel like I'm
taken advantage of. I had someone the other day
go on a rant about feeling like they were taken
advantage of. And I really, the whole time. I
was looking in my bag. I was looking in my pockets.
And I was looking underneath my chair. And I
just could not find the world's smallest fucking
violin. And I kept looking for it. And I just
could not seem to fucking find that thing. And
I kept thinking to myself, if you were in my
shoes the last 10 years of my life, you would
realize how fucking stupid you sound right now.
And it's so hard to sit there and listen to it.
But you do. It's like, okay, cool. Yeah, that's
fine. And then I sit there and I go, no, that's
fine. And then there's other people you just
expect more from. People that you have spent
your lifetime or theirs teaching them how to
treat people, how to be a good person, think
of others before you think of yourself, and just
like that whole mantra. Only to view things from
an eagle eye view, right? From that outside looking
in. to realize how disappointing that person
has become. And they don't even know it. They
don't even know it is the shocking thing. And
if they do know it and they don't give a fuck,
then it's even more disappointing. And it's like,
wow, holy shit, how did that happen? So yeah,
that's my pipe bomb for today is just how disappointing
people have become. And it's more and more as
I get older, it's becoming more and more difficult
for me. To empathize with people, to feel sorry
for people, because now it kind of comes full
circle to be like, nah, nah, that's that's I've
I've dealt with those fuckers. I've dealt with
those people. I've I cannot I cannot feel, you
know, I just I don't I don't and I can't, you
know, and. Maybe this is the wrong way to look
at it, but I think, once again, everybody lives
in their own shoes, in their own space, right?
So everybody has different life experiences.
But I'll tell you from mine, don't waste your
time with people. Buy a dog. Buy a cat. Buy a
fucking goldfish. I will tell you what, they
will disappoint you a hell of a lot less than
fucking people. And whether, as I said, they're
professional, on a professional level, Whether
it's a personal level, it's a friend, it's a
family member, whatever. Nothing disappoints
more than a fucking human being. And you look
at where we're at and we discussed it, right?
Nipsco. What's Nipsco made of? It's made of fucking
people. And you talk about the weather and agribusiness
and the reason we're dealing with all this shit.
Who's behind all that? People. So to come full
circle on what Aiden started with and what I'm
finishing with, it's fucking people. Look in
the goddamn mirror. Because I'll tell you what.
I look at my faults. I'm not fucking perfect.
I know that. I have things that I struggle with.
But I know what they are. I'm conscious of what
they are. And I do try to work on them. And with
all of those faults, you know what I still am?
I'm a good fucking human being that cares about
other people. But that guy? He's currently being
killed by the other dude inside me. The dude
that is now jaded. The dude that is pissed. The
dude's like, why do you keep giving of yourself
to organizations made up of people and other
people in need? When you know you're going to
put yourself out there and you are going to give
100 % of yourself and then you're going to go,
oh, look, I have a need and I'm, you know, and
here's the thing. I can count on one hand. The
number of people would be like, hey, I will give
you this. I will help with that and blah, blah,
blah. And those people are worth their weight
in gold. And those people know, number one, I'm
appreciative. And number two, if they ever need
anything, I got them. So that's great. But that's
a handful. I'm looking at my hand right now,
ladies and gentlemen. That's a handful. I know
hundreds of people, some of which I grew up with.
Crickets. Crickets. And the thing is, if I were
on Facebook and saw that they were having a situation
or whatever, I would probably reach out to them
immediately. What can I do? How can I help? I'm
always doing that. But as I said, I'm having
an internal battle right now. And that nice guy,
that empathetic guy, he's getting his ass kicked
inside me right now. And I'm not sure how much
longer he's going to come out. But I will tell
you what, for all you people out there in similar
situations to me, and... You feel jaded and you're
frustrated and all these other things. And human
beings continue to let you down. Let's not let
that happen anymore. Fuck them. It doesn't matter.
Get a dog. Get a cat. Get a fish. Get a llama.
I don't fucking care what you get. Exotic. Right.
Exactly. Be Joe Exotic if you want. I don't give
a shit. All I'm saying, don't let human beings
get you down anymore. It's not fucking worth
it. And we're all here for a short time. Carbon
-based life form. 80 years. 85 if we're lucky.
That's all we got. And if we're going to sit
here and be miserable every fucking day because
someone or a group of people or whatever continually
let us down each and every day, what's the point
of it all? Why are we even doing it? What's the
point? So all I'm saying, live your life. If
you like to fish, go fucking fishing today. If
you like to hunt, grab a gun, shoot a bird. I
don't give a fuck. Do whatever it is that you
like to do with your life. And stop worrying
about others. Because I'll tell you what. It's
not worth it. It's not worth it. And I know the
Jesus people will be like, oh, well, it's part
of vocation. It's part of this and part of that.
I don't believe in your Harry Potter. I don't
believe in your made -up mystery man that...
Okay. All right. It's not an earthquake, ladies
and gentlemen. There is some work being done.
Didn't know it was going to be noisy. You and
I both. Would have been good to know. But at
any rate, you know, I don't believe in your Jeebus
or your Allah or your Mohammed or Jerry the Mechanic.
I don't know. Whoever, whatever you worship.
I would honestly believe in Jerry the Mechanic.
I would. I would. He's got my vote. I'm actually
a Frisbeetarian. So all I'm saying is all of
these people. I just don't have time for them
anymore. I really don't. Because they continue
to disappoint. They just do. And, you know, I've
had enough events in the past three or four or
five years to last a fucking lifetime. And it's
just, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. You
know, giving of yourself to people, thinking
you're friends and then you're not friends. Or
like... Something wrong happens. And it's like,
look, shit happens. No one is perfect. And if
one person has a fuck up, and I'm not talking
about like, oh, my fuck up was, oopsie daisy,
drove a school bus off a bridge, killed a bunch
of kids. That's a bad one. That one's a little
tough. That's a bad one. That's a bad one to
recover from. You'd have to hire a PR team, dude.
Yeah, you really would. You really would. You'd
have to have Fox News on your side, which I'm
sure they would. But I, you know, for me, we're
talking right. You're talking about maybe you
say something stupid. You have a bad night in
a bar. You have a disagreement about like that
kind of shit. And that's all it is. It's little
shit. It's shit that's easy to overcome with
communication between people if you want. But
then most people don't want. And it's like, OK,
so little things come up and people bail. That's
the world we're living in now. That's a tough
fucking world, man. Because I guarantee you,
those people that are quick to do that, you better
look in the fucking mirror. Because you're going
to stop talking to yourself. Damn. You've got
to look in a fucking mirror. And yeah, so I'm
done. So however long I'm living, if it's another
year, if it's another 30 years, I don't fucking
know. None of us know. But I'll tell you what,
I'm living for me, baby. That's what I'm doing.
And you'd be like, that's kind of selfish. And
to that, I'd say, uh -huh. Yep. Yep. So what?
You're another human. I don't give a fuck. So
all I'm saying is if you kind of feel that way
out there, ladies and gentlemen, professionally,
personally, all that other stuff, and you have
just, you're tired of being shit on for dumb
shit. You are just tired of it. Don't do it.
Don't, you don't need it. You don't need it at
all. I can go in any bar on any evening, have
a couple of cold ones, sit next to someone I
know and just have a conversation and leave.
And guess what? I don't have any sort of invested
relationship. They're not going to let me down.
I'm not going to let them down. But I just had
a nice evening and I talked to someone and I
get to go home and leave and be happy because
now I've had a couple of beers and I'll go cuddle
with my pet iguana or llama. Llama. Llama. Jerry
the Llama. Yeah, also a mechanic. Also a mechanic.
See how everything works? Let's see if you remember,
folks. We just mentioned that. I mean, are you
with me? Kind of jingle, jingle the keys in front
of their eyes just to keep their attention. Right,
exactly. It's like, you there? You there? That's
a pipe bomb for you, lovely listener. Indeed
it is. Jingle, jingle. Hello. So the fact that
I was able to do this without a major coughing
fit. Another blessing. Praise Jeebus. Praise
Frisbee. Yeah, that was a major miracle. But
that's my pipe bomb. I'm just fucking tired of
investing in relationships of any kind anymore.
And maybe you're the type of person that needs
it. I don't. I do not. I'm happy being me. And
I hope you're happy being you. And as I said,
if you've had those issues, fuck them. You don't
need them. You absolutely don't. You need yourself
and you need to be happy. And if there's five
things that you love to do in this life, just
do that. Just do that. You don't need it. And
if you have a job and the boss is a pain in your
ass or your coworkers piss you off every day,
fuck them. Take a bag, go into work, put all
your personal shit in it. Give them the one finger
salute and go home. That is what I'm telling
you to do. Now, oh my God, Mark, how am I going
to pay your bills? Fuck your bills. I don't give
a fuck. Fuck them. What are they going to do?
Turn off your power? Oh, just happened. I mean,
what are you going to do? You need to live for
you. This capitalist society is bullshit. Oh
my God, my bills, my car, my this, my that. You'll
take care of that. Don't worry about it. Live
your life. Be happy. This is one fucking go around.
And if there are certain things in your life
that are bringing you down, don't do it. Don't
do it. Who are you carrying these bricks for
anyway? Put those fuckers down. That's all I
got to say. ABC, always be yourself. Always be
yourself. And if you have a choice, don't be
a Nipsco customer. Yeah, I think we learned anything
from our pipe bombs today. Yeah, that's the top
two right there. Don't be a Nipsco customer,
motherfuckers. All right, we are back. Time for
Carpe Diem. And you guys sent us your DMs. Read
them on the air. And they might be in a form
of a question. This is true. And to that, we
have the ability to answer. I like your wording.
Could do it. We may. We might. Yeah. We might
do it. Provided, number one, you don't piss me
off. I'm in a mood. Did you hear the beginning
of the show? Number two. Yeah, if you skipped
ahead to Carpe Diem's. The show is called Pipe
Bomb. Miss a little, miss a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And number two. Oh, hell. Give me your
money. Yeah. Muchos gracias. Yeah. Muy dinero.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We want it. We want it. Anything
that's green in your wallet, give it to us and
then we'll be like, oh, wait a minute. Did you
ask a question? Or if it's blue, has a blue stripe
on it. Ooh. Now that's an idea. Yeah. If it's
nicknamed, I don't know, Benji? Benji? Mm -hmm.
Benji Frank? Yeah. We'll talk then. Yeah, then
I think you've got a valuable question. Oh, yeah.
100%. 100%. All right. I'm going to start with
mine. I have four. I received one from AtBiffBoffo.
Wow. Yeah. Mark Mosho. Oh, I was arrested last
week when I... quote -unquote allegedly, way
to be on that, by the way. Yeah, yeah, smart.
Beat the crap out of this guy. A lot to unpack
here, but I'll just say he had it coming. How
could I have handled this differently? Ooh, it
depends. Well, it depends on a lot of things.
Yeah, there's a lot we don't know. Yeah, a lot
we don't know. First of all, if you have a good
enough lawyer... Just try to do the whole self
-defense thing. But that's another thing you
could have done differently is just try and have
old boy swing first. Yeah. Especially if you're
in public and other people can be witnesses to
old boy swinging first. Because if that happens,
then it's got him. Right. Then you're off scot
-free and then he's going to be incarcerated.
Right. But, allegedly, if you were to hypothetically
not have him. them swing first, then perhaps
your best bet is a back alley lore wearing a
face mask where you couldn't be identified. And
then you have some of your homies all chilling
out at the house you were definitely at that
night. Alibi secure. Now that's all hypothetical
and I would never suggest anyone do that. Nope.
But if he had it coming, that's just my first
take. That's my first. Is it a bad take? I don't
know. Don't get caught. Don't get caught. Hear
that, Mr. Boffo? Look, if a guy's got it coming,
and trust me, I know this, don't get caught.
Sure. Be like, okay, so -and -so deserves this.
Where am I at? Who's around? What's the play?
What's the play? Hmm, this isn't the best spot.
Just keep that little nugget for a rainy day.
And then when the time comes, you handle whatever
your business is. Allegedly. Allegedly. And don't
get caught. Yes. That way that person would be
like, oh, that guy hit me. He knocked me down.
He knocked my tooth out. Blah, blah, blah. Really?
I was home in bed. I was in there. I don't know
what you're talking about. Yeah. So just, I don't
know. Use your brain, Biff. Yeah. My ring doorbell
cameras would have caught me leaving my house
if I was away that night. Oh, for sure. Yeah.
My car was still in the driveway. I don't know
what the hell you're talking about. No idea.
No idea. I was asleep. Yeah. At Jaja Banks. I
think it's pronounced Ha Ha Banks. If they're
from down south. That could very well be. I'm
Jamaican. And yes, this is my name. Okay, so
I was wrong. My mistake. It is ridiculously similar
to an annoying Star Wars character. Oh no. Should
I change my name? I'm tired of the jokes. Jar
Jar Banks. And then you've got Jar Jar. Jar Jar
Banks. Mr. Banks. Yeah, of course. I would say
no. I hate that movie because of him. Yeah, I
even heard a couple, like, Star Wars theories
that he was supposed to be the main antagonist
of that trilogy. Like, Jar Jar's supposed to
be a badass Jedi, from what I understand. Yeah.
But I never got that out of that movie. And he's
supposed to be, like, the evil guy that, you
know, he's doing, like, the force voice takeover
thing on different people. And he's, like, he's...
quote -unquote supposed to be the phantom menace
because people don't know he's evil yet and i
didn't get that people hated his character so
much they were just like ah we should pivot we
should pivot on that one yeah um so i totally
understand uh senor jaja i would just say no
unless you hate the name jaja in which case i
would say yes right Just roll with Jerry. Yeah,
I'm absolutely fence riding this one. I'm giving
you nothing concrete, Mr. or fella Banks. But
I understand where you're coming from. 100%.
That'd be like any kid in this country named
Caillou. Oh, God. First of all, why? The parents
must have hated that kid. Oh, yeah. We're going
to name him after the most annoying character
on all of television. Right next to Jar Jar Binks.
Television history. Yeah. At White Sox Jerry.
Hi, guys. Well, we're in first place. When do
we blow it? Damn, Jerry's got problems, man.
He's got PTSD from that 100 loss season. Uh -huh.
Yeah. I mean, at least you guys are winning,
you know? Like, both the north side and south
side have had their... Ups and downs. Just enjoy
it. This year. Yeah, just enjoy the ups, man.
Get more of those milkshakes or whatever if they
still have them. Oh, that campfire milkshake?
Yeah, man. Dude. That's what's up. Like, those
guys could just lose 100 games every year. I
would still go to that place to get that shake.
Get that shake, yeah. Yeah. I would just say,
I know people were clowning on the Sox. They
got rid of Cease and a bunch of other, like,
quote -unquote top -tier players. But, I mean,
the ragtag crew they got right now is kind of
killing it. So I would just say. Winning more
than they're losing. Yeah. I would just say enjoy
it while you got it. Right. And just keep your
expectations reasonable come playoff time. Well,
I was just about to say, if you make the playoffs,
mission accomplished. Yeah. Yeah, there you go.
Then you got something. You just lost 100 games.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, be happy with where you're
at. You know, you got a future. Maybe get one
or two vets next year and make a run because
most of the American League completely sucks.
Yeah. Would you say, in your expert sports opinion,
not to harken back on the Coach's Corner days,
but would you say this is one of the quickest
turnarounds in sports history? Definitely on
the quicker side. It's happened just a few times,
but it's pretty quick. Yeah. Usually. And I think
back to the Cubs when they won in 2016. I think
it was 2010 and 2011 that they had, well, not
as quite bad of years as the White Sox had, but
they had 100 lost seasons. Yeah. But you have
to walk before you can run. And so to be able
to do that, you had to suck. And to suck, you
know, that meant getting... Chris Bryant, for
example, where you don't get him unless you suck
because then you get him in the draft. And then
you're able to make a move and get Rizzo and
get Lester and get guys like that. I mean, it
just takes time. So the fact that they're already
looking at the playoffs, they're already probably
a year or two ahead of schedule. Yeah. All right,
last one. At StonerStanley420, Momo and Alan,
happy Planet Day. Who is it? I didn't know that
was a thing. Do you know? That we are on the
one that is here. Okay. It is here and I am happy.
Smokey, smokey. No, my van is smokey. Oh, God.
Did he do it in a head gasket? Oh, no. Oh, no.
I hope it's from Herb and not his tailpipe. His
tailpipe, yeah. I don't even know if Stan knows
what a head gasket is. No. Which is also alarming.
That is alarming. Yeah. Yeah. As a vehicle owner,
you should probably know what a head gasket is.
You should probably have an idea. Just an idea.
Yeah. So I like where your head's at. Hopefully
he's just... Smoking a lot. Smoking a lot on
the happy planet day, which is the one that is
here. Which one is here? Don't get it twisted.
This is an assumption. He could be talking about
Earth. He might be. That's a crazy take, but
I'm sticking by it. Yeah. And a happy Planet
Day to you too, Stan. Indeed. Indeed, Stanley.
He's just out there loving life. I'm trying to
get to where you're at, Stanley. You're my hero.
Role model. Right. God damn, Stan. I just, I
want, I want a van down by the water with my
best friend being a squirrel. Being a squirrel.
Bathing with the fishes? Bathing with the fishes.
How can you go wrong? Dude. It's living life.
Honestly, that's kind of, that's the new American
dream. I think it is. The escape from capitalism.
And also, wherever he gets his supply. Yeah.
You know? I don't know how he gets income to
purchase the supply. He could just be a home
grower. He could be a gardener. He might be.
He might be just smoking what's around him. Happy
Planet Day. He's a gardener. Happy Planet Day.
I, too, am a tree hugger, but gardening here
is not legal in that sense. Indeed. Not yet,
anyway. Yeah. All right, so what do you have?
I have some curious ones today. Uh -huh. Didn't
expect to get them, but... Hey, they submitted
their Carpe Diem's the correct way. Uh -huh.
BugBed69 asking, would you be attracted to insects
if they were human -sized, or is that just me?
Hmm. Oh, yeah. BugBed69. Not BedBug. BugBed69.
Okay. I see where they're at now. Yeah. Attracted
to insects if they were human -sized. You know
what? You could get me on butterflies. If we're
doing a smash or pass, I think butterflies smash.
Yeah. Mosquitoes pass. Any stinging insect, pass.
That's no good. Yeah. Although bumblebee, smash.
Bumblebees and butterflies, you got me. Ladybugs?
What's your take on ladybugs? They bite. That's
a pass. They bite. Unless you're into that kind
of thing. That's true. I mean, we don't hate
here, but just not for me. Yeah, I can't think
of an insect that, you know, because. All right.
So like when Elmer Fudd's chasing Bugs Bunny,
he's trying to kill Bugs Bunny until Bugs Bunny
puts on a dress. Then he wants to fuck Bugs Bunny.
That's like a thing. So I get it now. I'm like,
OK, I'm Elmer Fudd. What insect is putting that
dress on that makes me want to fuck that insect?
And we're assuming these insects are intelligent
enough to consent. That's the assumption. Right,
correct. Because otherwise this is very problematic.
Oh, it's incredibly problematic. So that's the
assumption I'm going with. I have to say I don't
think there's an insect out there. Not even butterflies
get you going? No. No, because they're just too,
like... just like their wings like in your face
you'd be making your move and then it'd be just
like think of scrooged when that fairy is smacking
bill murray in the face with her wings oh yeah
yeah i'd just be like ah fuck stop stop like
it'd be it'd be a problem you know that's that's
a libido problem because then then mr happy is
gonna be like yeah i'm not really like this anymore
i don't think i don't think that's too much all
at once i don't think that's gonna work for me
i see So, yeah, the wings and the flapping and
the whole thing and, like, a hummingbird, hell,
that would kill you. Oh, yeah. You know, those
wings coming at you 100 miles an hour. That's
not really an insect, but I like where your head's
at. Yeah, I mean, it kind of is. I don't. Any
scientist, lovely listeners out there, is a hummingbird
kind of an insect? It kind of is. Mark Moe wants
to know. It kind of is. Because it's small. It's
always hanging out by the plants with the bumblebees
and all the other little pollinators. Floating
out of some flowers. Right. Getting their little
juice. Yeah. What other bird's doing that? I
don't know. None. I'm not a bird myself. So I
couldn't tell you. It's hummingbird slash insect.
I mean, the bird is in the name. So what the
fuck do I know? Well. Bird is only in the name.
Elephantitis has to do with your nuts. It doesn't
mean it goes and has a trunk. So, I mean. Well,
that's only a problem for some of us. True. It's
what's in a name. It's just a name. Yeah. They
buzz outside my window and look in at my work.
First of all, freak. Get away from my office.
Peeping Tom. Right. Peeping hummingbird. Peeping
Tomingbird. Got it. I like that. Yeah, not bad.
I like that. Yeah, no, I don't, you know, insects
are hummingbirds. Zero insects get your pets.
Nah, they really, I might want to cuddle with
a life -size bumblebee. Bumblebee, yeah, right.
Like I'd want to cuddle with one. Because it's
like a bear with wings. It's a flying panda.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what that is.
That's fair. But no, any sort of like romantic
or sexual, no, none of that. Not feeling it?
Mm -mm. I think butterflies and bumblebees. That
would be. I think that's totally fair. That's
fair. I'm trying to think of other insects, but
none are coming to mind that I don't find vile.
Oh, I know. Because most of them are either stinging
or biting. Even dragonflies, which are like the
attack helicopters of the butterfly world, just
too scary. Right. You know, it's like a tank
with wings. Yeah. And like lightning bugs, it's
like... I don't want to get with one, but like
I'd love to be friends with one. Like your glasses
fall off your bed in the middle of the night
and be like, yo, lightning bug. Hey, light me
up, bro. Right here. Out there, there. Thanks,
man. My man. You know, so that would be a helpful
friend. Yeah, I get that. 100%. Next DM I got
here from Rip Scuzzle. Rip. What do you like
least about your body? I think my sinuses would
be up there. Don't like my sinuses. They often
get in the way. Even when I'm not sick or if
it's not allergy season, they're still kind of
a nuisance. Yeah. I would say my toenails grow
too fast for my liking. The amount of times I
have to clip them seems like too many per year,
which I don't like. Oh, what else is there? I've
gotten... Some weird backhanded mentions of my
nose being big, but I've never really thought
of that as too big a problem because at least
it holds my glasses on my face pretty well. Your
nose is your nose. Yeah, I think it's a regular
size nose. Regular people kind of nose. So I
would say sinuses and toenails are one and two.
And then honestly, if I'm going three, ass hair.
What is it doing? Why? What's the purpose? What's
it doing in there? I think that's one, two, and
three for me is sinuses. ass hair and then the
toenails that's fair yeah i think for me it's
just my belly which luckily i have control over
because i can make it go away um which i've been
dropping weight so not as quickly as i'd like
but if i get back in the gym soon then progress
is progress brother progress is progress so i'll
take it um i just say my belly um I, too, have
issues with the eyes and the sinuses. Like, all
that's inherited shit, though. Oh, sure. That
goes way back. Nothing we can do about. But,
yeah, like my arms and my shoulders I like. And
I got sweet ass. You know, I'm the first to admit
it. And some sweet ass tattoos. And some sweet
ass tattoos. Yeah, because I slowly adorned my
body here in my later years. So, yeah, there's
probably more that I like than I don't like.
More pros than cons. I think so, too. I think
overall I'm somewhat handsome, like the way the
face is. I think that's pretty good. Both got
good heads of hair on us. And we do. Like if
I let this thing grow like Aiden has. Oh, yeah.
It's going crazy. Everybody, my one friend at
work, Laura, her nickname is Southside because,
you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She lives on Northside.
But of course. But of course. That was one of
the first things she noticed. She saw a picture
of you. She's like, oh, my God, his hair. I love
his hair. That's very kind. It's one of the few
things I get compliments on from, like, strangers.
It's just like, oh, cool hair. I'm like, oh,
thanks, man. Yeah. So, like, if my dad's dad,
his great grandfather, had let his hair grow,
it would look exactly like that. I've got lighter
hair than you. It's either light brown or dark
blonde. Somewhere, especially sun bleached, it
looks more blonde. Yeah. But same kind of curly,
wavy quality to it. Yeah. And the only real gray
I have is still in my beard. Not so much up on
the top of my head. So you got to be happy about
that. That's what's going to come for me first
is with how red my beard is. I know those red
hairs are the first to go gray. Those always
go white. Those are the first to go gray. Oh,
man. I already see a little bit in there. I better
stop looking. Hey, that's all right. That's all
right. There's ways you can combat that. This
is true. I just can't. Oh, that'll be issue number
four. Small chin, soft jaw. I cannot fully shave
my beard. It's the only thing that gives my face
any shape. I don't know where I got the small.
I don't know where you got that from because
I'm like, I got it pretty squared off. Jaw. Soft
chin, small jaw. Hmm. Yeah. Not sure where I
got that from. Could have been the other side
of the family. But yeah, I have to keep some
kind of beard to give me a little shape, man.
To get some shape. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But the beard's
glorious, so it works. Boy, thank you. Much appreciated.
Yeah, that's good. Final DM I got here today.
CrippyGrew checking in again. Crip. Kind of a
timely question here. Would you rather have AC
break when it's 100 degrees outside? or have
your furnace break when it's 5 degrees outside.
And I'm assuming this is in Fahrenheit. For all
of you Celsius users, 100 C, we would all die.
We would all pass away. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow.
Having just been through it, I have a brand new
appreciation for AC and house fans and tower
fans and box fans. I can't deal with the heat.
If it's 5 degrees outside... And my furnace goes
out. Dude, I got enough blankets to last me a
lifetime. Yeah. I got hoodies. I got hats. I
would much rather have my furnace break when
it's cold outside. Yeah. I'll layer up, dog.
I have to have AC. And that's a privilege take,
I know. But I have to have it. You know what's
amazing? And I heard this shit less than a month
ago, probably. Most people in Europe don't have
AC. Don't have AC, yeah. It's not a thing. I
I'm floored by that. Cause I mean, do they get
like the heat that we get in the South and the
Midwest? Probably not. But I would imagine like
Greece and Italy and Spain. Possibly. Yeah. They
probably get hot. So I think to myself, self
on those days where it pushes a hundred degrees
for them, what do they do? They just deal with
it or they just used to it. Right. Or is it so
infrequent that. One hot day and then the next
day it's back down to like 82. Right. Much more
manageable. Yeah. And they might not have the
humidity that we do. Or they just have better
built buildings. That could be true. Where the
airflow is more logical and they have awnings
to prevent the sunlight getting in. Yeah. That's
probably true too. Yeah. I think it's just more
logically built where AC is perhaps not a necessity.
Where in most of the U .S. it most certainly
is. Yeah. Oh, no doubt. I think for me, I'd probably
be the same way as you. Although I lived in Florida
for a year where it's a different kind of heat.
It is different. It makes the heat up here look
like a beautiful day. I mean, it's a different
hot altogether. And if you go in your car after
a day at work and you go sit in that, you can't.
You literally have to open all your doors. Oh,
yeah. And let that thing air out because it's
like... Even with the windshield screen in there,
it still gets brutal. It's the surf of the sun,
man. It's ridiculous. So yeah, the heat is just
different, man. And hey, I'm not saying five
degrees is great, but if you're in a building
with decent insulation and there are things that
you can do and you can layer up and you can do
stuff, you can make it a little bit. Oh, easily.
And also the fact that humans radiate heat. That's
why we glow on infrared. We radiate heat. Humans
actually glow. That is a scientific fact. Humans
are so hot that we glow. We just happen to be
surrounded by much hotter things, like the sun.
Like the sun, yeah. If you cover yourself with
enough blankets, layer up enough, your body heat
will keep you warm enough. Period. Full stop.
That's true. That solves my problem. There are
not enough layers I can take off. uh to to become
cool enough especially with like if you're down
to your boxers and you're dying oh yeah that's
it wet bulb temperatures and shit dude that kills
people oh yeah that was the last dm i received
here today from creepy brew well you can take
my furnace bro i need the ac yeah oh yeah so
for all of you uh thank you for those dms uh
feel free to send us messages on our socials
or anywhere else for that matter happy to well
make them part of our show Now, before we continue
on to our next break, we have started this new
thing called South Side Theater. And that is
where we reenact movie scenes or TV shows in
the voice of South Siders from Chicago. And this
one I thought would be kind of fun. It is a movie
I don't like at all. I think it's a movie most
women tend to like. It is a romantic comedy called
The Notebook. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams,
I believe. I'll take your word for it. Right.
Whatever. And this is what it is. This is what
it is. All right. This is from The Notebook.
This is a small talk part of the movie between
Noah and Allie. And it's when they're in town
and they're having this little conversation.
Question is, do you want to be Noah? Or do you
want to be Allie? I'll be Allie today. I'm feeling
a little Allie myself. All righty. All righty.
He's going to be Allie. I'll be Noah. And this
is from The Notebook. Do you remember me? Yeah,
sure. Mr. Will -You -Dance -Me -We. Was it? Ah,
yeah. How could I forget? Yeah, I wanted to clear...
that up with you because I'm really sorry about
that. It was a really stupid thing to do. But
I had to be next to you. I was being drawn to
you. Oh, my friend. Geez, what a line. Do you
lose that on all the girls? Nah. Right, right.
I saw you the other night with Little Miss Ribbons.
What are you doing tonight? What? Or tomorrow
night, or this weekend, whatever. My friend,
why? Why? Our date? What? Date? The date you
agreed to. No, no, no, my friend. Yes, you did.
You promised, and you swore it. Well, buddy,
I guess I changed my mind. Look. I know you get
some dirty guy coming up to you on the street.
You don't know him. You don't know me, but I
know me. And when I see something that I like,
I gotta, I love it. I go, I mean, crazy for it,
you know? Okay. What are you talking about? Well,
you. End scene. End scene. Number one, we killed
that. Number two. I want someone to just dub
over the video part. With that. Use that audio.
Please, someone out there with the skills. Please
do that. Please do it. Please do it. Because
it will improve the movie. I have seen parts
of it. I can't stomach that movie. It's not great.
Is that the one where it's the guy and he's like
the Philadelphia Eagles fan? No. That's Silver
Linings play. Oh. Yeah, I don't even. Oh, yeah.
Gosling? Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Oh, yeah.
But it's kind of a back and forth film. There's
two older actors play their older selves. Oh,
okay. Whatever. I've only seen memes from it.
I honestly. Yes. Anyone out there that enjoys
the movie, good for you. It's maybe just not
my form of entertainment. Most romantic movies
are utter shit. It's just unrealistic garbage.
Like, even if you watch it, you just have to
sit there and go, whose life is this? Like, this
shit doesn't happen. I'm like, this is crazy.
ABC, always be unrealistic. Right. And, you know,
if it's a romantic comedy, like, I can deal with
that. Like, that's one you can take your significant
other to because it's like, all right, she'll
get the froofy romantic stuff and then she'll
be all romantic with you later. So there's a
benefit later on. Number two, it's romantic.
Comedy, which means you're probably going to
laugh at a few things. So definitely when it
comes to romantic comedies, I'm much more amenable
to those than I am just some romantic drama,
you know, mad at a woman in the desert. The Nazis
are coming and they only have each other. Well,
that's sad. Whatever. Best of luck to you. I
don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I'm not a
fan of those. Yeah. At all, really. It's just,
it's garbage. Fluff. Garbage fluff. You heard
that here first, ladies and gentlemen. Garbage
fluff. That's what I pull out of my dryer vent.
Oh, me too. We'll catch you in a minute. All
right, we're back, guys, with our signature segment,
which is you just made the list. Here on the
Mark Mo Show, I'm the host, Mark, and that's
Aiden. And today's list, or I should say category,
whatever, topic. is top 10 food cities. Now,
the way we do it is top 10, 10 through 2, with
our big number one reveal, and the rules that
we have to rules, rules, rules we have to follow.
Oh, wait. One rule. No rules. Woo -hoo! Let's
freaking go, chat. Yeah, we good. Smash that
subscribe button if that's your favorite rule.
We good. Well, that is everybody's favorite rule.
So, here we go. We'll let Aiden kick this one
off. Top 10 food cities. Best food... Cities.
Numero 10 went with Kyoto, Japan. Just how this
wonderful cultural center we've always said,
you know, I think we've done like a top five
bucket list destinations. And I think Kyoto ended
up on both of ours. And as it turns out, excellent
food city as well. Number nine, Naples, Italy.
If there's one thing people know about the Italians,
they make the food. Hey. Oh. Oh. I'm making pizza
over here. Making pizza here. Number eight, I
had Lima, Peru. Kind of fascinating looking up
the food history of Peru and their, of course,
major cultural center there, Lima, of the different
influences from both Asia and Spain and also
the Native South American influences. Very, very
fascinating. Number seven, Shanghai, China. Yeah.
They somehow keep making my lists because it
just seems like a wonderful city with a beautiful
skyline and good food. That would be... God bless
you, Shanghai. Place to go, for sure. Damn right.
Number six, New York City, USA. Mm -hmm. Just,
I mean, Michelin star restaurants in every damn
corner, it seems like. Yeah. And also you get
the Gordon Ramsay spot, which is pretty righteous.
Yeah, I would agree. Number five, Paris, France.
You see... French people, I give you some love
sometimes. We do. We'll give you flowers where
you deserve. Just keep the fucking snails out
of my mouth. Number four. Number four. Chicago,
USA. Yeah. Oh, god damn. I love Chicago food.
It's honestly a blessing that we live in Chicagoland
and we just get to eat it every day. It's a great
food city. There are tourists that come by and
they're like, oh my god, I wish I could have
this every day. Well, we can. I just have to
not, otherwise I'd be like 400 pounds. For sure.
Number three on my list, Rome, Italy. Yeah. Had
to put it above Naples just because it's fucking
Rome. What are you going to do? Yeah. But Italian
food is Italian food. Number two, Mexico City,
Mexico. One of, I don't know if it's one of the
top 10 most populous cities in the world, but
it's up there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And yeah, amazing
food. I love Mexican cuisine. Mexican -American
cuisine, traditional. It's just so damn good.
Oh, yeah. It's amazing. They make my number two,
and I'll save my number uno. All right. I love
when we do lists like this because sometimes
we'll do some variations of. So Aiden's is more
global. Mine were all American cities, but I
do agree with many of the ones that Aiden listed
for sure. My honorable mentions are Las Vegas
simply because... It's such a global destination
that if you're looking for Chinese or barbecue
or Americana or whatever, you're just going to
find some amazing restaurants and some of the
best buffets in the country. I've heard about
the buffets. They're being pretty damn good.
Oh, yeah. I mean, you go to these buffets and
you can get a strip steak. You can get bone and
ham. You got snow crab, snow crab legs, crab
legs. Alaskan king crab legs? That might be it.
Yeah, maybe. Yeah, and I'm not a fish guy. Or
is that a lobster? No, king crab legs. King crab.
Okay, that sounds right. I think you're right.
Yeah, okay. I'm not a seafood guy, so I don't
know. Oh, it's the main lobster. And then on
the other side, it's the Alaskan crabs. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. I had the Alaskan crabs
once. Man, that chick. God, what was I thinking?
Anyway. But you're in Vegas. What happens if
it stays there? Exactly. Alaskans. San Diego,
also on the honorable mention. San Diego. San
Diego. Which stands for the next city on my honorable
mention is Milwaukee. They got the brewers. They
got the cheese is what they got. God damn. Bless
you, Wisconsin. Well, as we always said, you
know, Wisconsin doesn't have a whole lot to offer.
Sure. In general. This is true. But they've got
the cheese. And they have the most lax. DUI laws
in the entire country. Perhaps the entire world.
Do they really? Oh, yeah. There's stories of
people on their 16th DUI. That's crazy. And they
just send them back on the roads. Jerry, you
know, you gotta stop at 10. You gotta stop at
10, Jerry. Right away, officer. Right after this
last beer. I'm gonna go through the stoplight
and then I'm gonna... That's a stop sign, Jerry.
That's okay. I mean it, man. It's right by the
bar I'm going to. It's right by the bar. I mean
home. Home. Going home. It's my spiritual home,
Ossifer. To the bar. And then, so now starting
with my list, number 10, San Francisco. Excellent
restaurants all over that town. Number nine,
Miami. Oh, yeah. Good choice. So once again,
you got seafood there, but you also have like
Puerto Rican food and Cuban food. Just awesome
stuff. Excellent cuisines, by the way. Number
eight, Atlanta. Some of the best barbecue you're
going to find in the country. Just like that
soul food. I remember going through Atlanta as
we did as a group. Yeah. Damn, that was good
food. Yeah. Very good food in Atlanta. Nashville.
You like that? Nashville hot chicken from Nashville.
Man. And then just that southern food, that rich,
you know, grits and biscuits and gravy. Oh, God,
get real, man. Collard greens and fried chicken.
Dude, God, my mouth is watering. I'm so hungry.
Number six, Houston. Kind of the same thing with
the... barbecue and all that and then number
five i guess these could have been combined but
austin texas that's fair uh the texas said texas
does barbecue a little bit differently than most
other places in the United States. Texas barbecue,
it's like the real deal. I don't know if they
grow their cows on steroids or what. Like you
look at their plate of ribs and you're just like,
oh my God, that doesn't look real. Everything's
bigger in Texas, they say. Indeed. It kind of
looks like, you know that side of ribs that Fred
Flintstone gets when he pulls up in his car and
the car tips over because the ribs are so damn
big? That's Texas for you right there. uh number
four uh new york city and that's just i mean
all all your best restaurants what a cultural
hub i would love i mean and i need to get like
i need to get some travel on real real soon and
i'm hoping some things are going to allow me
to do that in the very near future here but i
like new york is definitely a city i want to
get back to there's a lot of it i've not explored
yet but like literally going to little italy
and just jumping around to some of those uh dude
you could spend a week in little italy you could
and have three meals a day at anywhere new oh
it'd be amazing and look i'm i'm a pizza snob
and in chicago we've got our tavern style and
our deep dish and those are the only that's the
two types you need those are pretty that's the
two types you need would i still want to go to
new york and try like John O 'Bleeker's and some
of the other ones. Of course. You'd have to.
New York. Is it my preferred style? No, it is
not. But I would do it. And, you know, quite
frankly, delis. Oh, God. Yeah. Delis. End of
it. No, we got mayonnaise in Chicago. We do.
It's about the closest thing to a New York style
deli that you're going to get. Sure. Anywhere
around. So it's thank God for that. But New York
style delis, cat's deli. Get yourself like a.
Big, like I've seen their corned beef. It's ridiculous
how much meat is on that thing. Good. Just that
huge corned beef sandwich and what they call
an egg cream. You have to get yourself an egg
cream. I'm not going to tell you what it is.
It's a fountain drink, but you have to get it
if you're there. Number three, Kansas City. If
you like meat. you will like Kansas City. They
have some of the burnt ends. By the way, did
you ever try those burnt ends? Oh, they were
phenomenal. Aren't they good? Burnt ends are
a different thing, man. They are so freaking
good. You get burnt ends. You get steak. Pork
chops, all of it. Like Kansas City, I mean, that's
the hub of the meat industry. Like it used to
be Chicago. And they don't have any meat in their
football team anymore, but they got it at the
restaurants. Indeed, they do. Yeah, that's what
I hear. That's what I hear as well. Number two.
Maybe a surprise, maybe a dark horse if it will.
New Orleans. Believe it or not, New Orleans was
going to make the list, but I cut them for Kyoto.
They were going to make the list. No, I mean
from beignets to po 'boys. And once again, I'm
not a seafood guy. But if you like shrimp, get
yourself a shrimp po 'boy. Or you like crawfish.
Seafood po 'boys? Oh, yeah. Dude. The food there
is fantastic. And it's just a cool city. So,
New Orleans, number two. Yeah, fun accents down
there, too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you
get, like, literally, there's a character in
the water boy. And some people are like, ah,
it's not real. That's made up. No, it's real.
Big dog exists down there. And then, as a northerner,
we go, huh? Yeah, that's a real man. And they
know what he's saying. They understand. Yeah.
I don't. So literally, and this is several times
as I was traveling, I encounter people like that.
And all you have to do is act like you know what
they're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, my man.
We were in a Chick -fil -A. And me and my friend
Steve, we were going out on spring break. So
we finally made the trip. We're almost there.
And we pulled into this Chick -fil -A. I'm like,
dude, I'm so hungry. He's like, yeah, let's get
something to eat. Cool. So we go in there. Get
our cheeky sandwich, get our fries, whatever.
So we're just sitting there. And apparently this
guy was asking if he wanted to take our garbage
because he was kind of cleaning the tables or
whatever. But it kind of sounded more like this.
And I literally looked up at him and smiled.
Steve looked scared. Like, oh my God, what did
he just say? And I looked up at him and I smiled
and I said, ha, you bet. And he took my food.
He got through the garbage. I was like, huh.
Guess that's what he was saying. That's what
he meant. Okay, cool. Now I know. Yeah. Note
to self. Future translate. Check. Oh, yeah. No
doubt. It's like when you read like middle English
books and it's nonsense. It's still English.
Right. It's just not what we speak. Not at all.
Yeah. Have fun with Chaucer's Tales. All right.
What you got? My number one. You know, I had
to do it to him. Tokyo, Japan. Oh, my God. Massive,
massive city. I mean, I think the metropolitan
area is like 58 million people. Yeah. Massive
city. Just incredible sushi and seafood and just
Japanese food. Dude, send me there. Yeah. Send
me there. I need you to stumble upon a couple
million dollars and just send me that. And we'll
go. Yeah. And I'll eat some food. I'll eat a
lot of food. We'll go. It'll be Nintendo and
noodles for days. God bless. Sounds like a good
time. That's my numero uno is Tokyo, Japan. All
righty. My numero uno, and people say I'm favoriting
them, whatever, Chicago. And all these cities
I've listed I've been to. Well, minus the Texas,
but we'll get there. Yeah, so Chicago number
one, and the thing that I think makes it number
one is how international of a city that it is.
Oh, dude, you got Polish cuisine, Japanese, Chinese.
You've got German, Italian, Irish. And that a
lot of those people, when they came in, they
made their own neighborhoods, and there was some
sort of... pride in who they were. And the thing
is, it doesn't make these people any less American.
It's like, look, we live in this neighborhood.
We live in Pilsen. We live in Brunswick. We live
here. We live there. And there is just some sort
of heritage and pride that they have. And that
reflects in artwork on their buildings. It reflects
in the museums that they have. It reflects in
the food that they eat and the celebrations that
they have. The art they produce and consume.
Right. So, like, all of that... is great. And
then you get people come in and be like, I can't
believe how segregated your city is. And my comment
to that is, are you dumb? It's like Chicago is
one of the most international cities. You have
the most Irish outside. Like Boston. I think
Boston, right? Boston or LA. There was like a
weird one in there. But yeah, like you have a
ton of Irish people and you have the most Polish
outside of Poland are in Chicago. And the same
thing with our Mexican population and Puerto
Rican. And it goes on and on and on. Our African
American community. So you can go into these
communities and have some soul food, have some
Puerto Rican food. You know, I love. That people
love their heritage. I love that because it's
part of who we are. And I think we should never
give that up. Proud of being American? Okay,
that's fine. That just happens to be my address.
Right. My people grew up and learned and whatever
as Irish and Germans and... That's what interests
me. Sure. And that's what interests a lot of
other people. And I think to still hold on to
that and be proud of it, I think it's great.
And it reflects a lot of... We're meant to be
the goddamn melting pot, bro. Chicago pretty
much is. It's what it's supposed to be. Chicago
pretty much is. And I love that fact. And I think
they lean into it. And I love that we do. Now,
that's not to say gentrification is not a problem.
It is. Oh, no, it is. I mean, that's capitalism.
What are you going to do about that? But cultural
heritage is not... a part of gentrification right
correct as far as food and art and just enjoying
like your irish heritage or your jamaican or
puerto rican or cuban heritage you should enjoy
that yeah 100 enjoy it and the best thing about
it it's part of who you are and having that pride
but the best part is sharing it with others like
for example saint patrick's day it's a day for
most people in the world It's a week for Chicago,
sometimes more. Yeah, you got that right. But
the beauty of it, like on a St. Patrick's Day,
if you're out at the pub or you're at a party
or whatever, and you see people that are clearly
not Irish, I love that. You're taking part in
my day and I'm happy that you're there and you're
happy and you're having an Irish beer. You're
listening to our music. Cheers. You're having
some shepherd's pie. You're asking us about our
heritage. Like, I love that because it's Chinese
New Year and I go to Chinatown. I want to learn
about it and I want to have some awesome food
and watch like dragons march down the street.
Like, I'm all about that. Damn right. Yes. Damn
right. That's great. All right. I am. I am surprised
I'm making it. That I'm holding out. Yeah. We've
had to take a couple pause breaks for coughing
fits, but you're being a champion so far. Well,
thank you. I am doing my best. And before we
go to our break and our final segment, and we're
doing great on time, by the way, we have been
doing quiz time. Now, a time for quizzes. Just
time for quizzes. Now, Aiden has been pretty
much the main quiz giver. The arbiter, if you
will. And I've been on the receiving end, which
has been fun and excruciating at the same time.
What does GPU stand for? I don't know. I don't
want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Yeah,
we'll see how smiley you are in a minute. This
particular quiz that I made for Aiden is a marvelous
quiz. If you get the hint. Do I sense wordplay?
I mean, if that's what you're into. Hmm. Hmm.
We'll let the lovely listeners decide. Okay.
Well, this is a Marvel -less quiz. It is on Marvel
movies. And I have a possible 21 points. Okay.
Feel free to play at home. As it were. And let
us know how many points you got in the comments
down below. Indeed. Indeed. If there are not
a comment section down below, then rate us five
stars and tell us why there is not a comment
section. Fair. Yeah. We're just looking for answers.
At this rate. They have no idea. In this fucking
economy? God. In this economy? Damn. Alright,
here we go. Number one. What is Star -Lord's
Earth name? Star -Lord's Earth name. Crisp Rat.
Not the actor's name. Okay, Chris Pratt. That
is the actual actor's name. Yes. I want to know
what the actual character's Earth name is. The
character's Earth name? Yeah, not the actor.
It's not me stalling for time, clearly. And it's
not Chris Pratt. Hmm. Is it like Stephen something?
Or Brett? Craig. I'll go with Craig Smithers.
Really? I feel like I know it. You're going to
kick yourself. I think I will. God, I haven't
seen the Guardians movie in so long. Oh, what's
his name? Anthony Mackie. Is that your final
answer? That's my final answer. No, I'm going
to actually stick with Craig Smithers. Okay.
It's Peter Quill. Oh, Quill. Oh, duh. Yeah. Peter
Quill. Why didn't you ask what his character's
name was? Okay. Okay, I'll take the owl. Okay.
I actually didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't
remember. That's true. Number two. In what Marvel
movie does the Black Widow make her first appearance?
Ooh. Ooh, that's got to be a Captain America
movie, I think. No. Wait, well, well, hold on
now. It couldn't be Avengers. That's too late.
We wouldn't know who she is. Or we wouldn't care.
Would it be an Iron Man movie? That's the question.
So we've got a couple Iron Man movies before
things started popping off. Yeah. Ooh, that's
a great question. Great, great question. I'll
say it's an Iron Man movie. Okay. I'll say Iron
Man 2. Is that your final answer? The squeak
wall. God, I'm trying to think. I'm not trying
to change your mind. I just want to know if that's
your final answer. Because I know... I remember
the Avengers quite clearly and there was the
whole thing where her and Hawkeye were talking
about Budapest and we never learned what the
fuck they were yapping about, which was a damn
shame, honestly. But we had to have known who
she was before that. Oh, but I don't think it
was, it was not the first Avenger, was it? Captain
America? I feel like a gosh dang dingus today.
Should have watched more movies before you gave
me this quiz, man. Holy hell. Can I go 0 for
21? I'm going to feel like the White Sox. I'll
say Iron Man 2. Iron Man 2 is correct. Oh, thank
God. Iron Man 2 is correct. All our lovely listeners
that are Marvel fans out there were probably
screaming at their phones. Oh, I'm sure. Number
three. What Infinity Stone is in Vision's head?
The yellow one. The yellow one is the sun. Thank
you, Brian Regan. It's the yellow one. Which
is the soul stone? Think about it. The one that's
in his head. Brain. Brain stone. Sorry, my bad.
Okay, so it's not time. It's not power. Purple
one is crazy. That's the dance -off. That's the
dance -off one. They all held their hands and
they opened the purple thing. Oh, boy. It's not
blue. That's the Tesseract. That's in Loki's
scepter. That's all great and grand. The Vision
Stone. No, Soul Stone. Is that orange? What do
I know? The Brain Stone. The Mind Stone. Final
answer? Final answer. Mind Stone. And that is
the yellow one. I knew it was the yellow one.
Because I think old boy plunked it out of his
head. I know spoilers, but that movie came out
like eight years ago. We got a big Avengers movie.
You guys have some catching up to do. You should
have caught up by now. Oh my gosh. Yeah. What
is the name of Jeff Goldblum's character in Thor
Ragnarok? Oh, God, what a great character. What
was that dude's name? I only know him as Jeff
Goldblum. And his fingers sparkle. Oh, what a
great movie. Honestly, that's like top three
Marvel movies is Thor Ragnarok. I love that movie.
What was that dude's name? Because I know there
was the funky rock guy that Thor got along with,
and he was cool. And I believe he was voiced
by the director. Yeah. Taki Watiti, I believe
is his name. Okay, yeah. Funky little character.
Cool guy. I don't remember Jeff Goldblum's name.
I'll call him the collector. No, that's not right.
That's a different character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Different white dude with hair. Damn, what's
his face? No, I know his face. What's his name?
Jeff. Jeffrey. Jeffrey Goldblum. Hmm. Craig Smithers.
We go with Craig. No, I'll switch it up. I'll
go Anthony Mackie. Okay. The Grandmaster. Oh.
Why does that sound like a KKK member? That's
not great. Yeah. They should have thought about
that one. All right. This is a two. You can get
two points here. Okay, good. Nick Fury fakes
his own death at the end of Captain America Winter
Soldier. What saying is chiseled on his tombstone?
For the bonus point, this is taken from a movie
that he was in named The Movie. Damn. Oh, shit.
I'm going to say The Movie is Pulp Fiction, and
the saying is, do they speak English in what?
God, I wish it was that. All right, you got one
point. It was Pulp Fiction. It was Pulp Fiction.
Wrong one. I was going to do a snakes on the
plane joke, but I'm like, I have to try and get
a point. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Could you imagine
that being on his... Snakes on motherfucking
planes. Snakes on these planes. All right. And
the saying happens to be the path of the righteous
man. Ah. I see. At least I got the Pulp Fiction.
You got the Pulp Fiction. All right. Name the
planet. Natasha and Clint visit to retrieve the
Soul Stone. Oh, dude, that's the one with red
face on him. Mm -hmm. Ooh, what do they call
it? Gwarcox. Stimble. It's like an alien -sounding
name, yeah? Oh, yeah. Smallville. Jamboree. The
third. Horsetown. Dude, Marvel, you can take
these ideas. Those ones are for free. Haven't
copyrighted those ones yet. Astrocorn. I'll call
it Astrocorn. Is that your final answer? That's
got to be it. Oh, no. That's got to be the one.
Oh, no. Am I close? No. Plagueis. No. I will
give you a hint. Okay. Begins with the letter
V. Valerium. Venus. They traveled to the gas
planet. No, there was rocks on it. What am I
talking about? Vexor. Final answer. Vormir. Oh,
Vormir. I was close. You were. Shucks. All right,
we got another two -pointer here. Good. Name
the two villains from Iron Man 3. Okay, Electro
Guy with the whips, perhaps? Or was that Iron
Man 2? Oh, shucks. Iron Man 3. Ooh, boy. Now
that's the question. Was that the one where he
ate a burger? No, that was Iron Man 1. Didn't
he eat a burger at some point? Yeah, yeah, okay.
That's how the cheeseburger joke came about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say the Electro guy, the
Electro Whip guy, and anti -Iron Man. The dude
that, you know, weren't there a bunch of suits
he had to kill? I'll say Electrowhip Guy and
Evil Jarvis. That's my guess. Ladies and gentlemen,
now mind you, he's seen most of these movies
and many of them more than once. I've literally
binge -watched them on Disney. I was about to
say, we got Disney for them. Both in release
order and in chronological order. And I cannot
for the life of me remember. Was Electro Guy
one of them? No. Oh, shit. That was the second
one. Yeah, I thought so. And it wasn't anti -Jarvis?
No. Aldrich Killian. So he was the glow -in -the
-dark guy, right? That the hands and arms would
grow back or whatever. Oh. And Pepper got that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Injected into her or whatever.
And the Mandarin. Oh, the Mandarin. Yeah. Who's
like one of my favorite comic villain guys ever.
That dude's great. Oh, he's great. Shucks. I
think Slattery is the character actor's name
or whatever. Played that great, dude. That was
so good. It was so good. Such a funky character.
Uh -huh. What borough of New York City is Peter
Parker from? Peter Porker. Queens? Final answer?
Sure. Correct. Woo -hoo! Queens is correct. Yeah,
because I think Captain America is a Brooklyn
boy. And then I think Mr. Porker is a Queensman.
Yep. Oh, yeah. Indeed he is. Number nine. The
cell on the helicarrier that holds Loki in the
Avengers movie was originally designed to house
who? I would guess the Hulk is my final answer.
Bruce Banner. Or Bruce Bixby. Or Bruce Bixby.
If you followed our show from the beginning,
you know who that is. Okay. You are correct.
Wahoo! Let's freaking go, Chad. You're on a bit
of a roll now. Smash that like button if you
know what's up. That's right. Okay. Number 10
is the final question. And this is possible 10
points. Possible 10 points. Okay. Let's freaking
go. Possible 10 points. I am going to give you...
Yeah. A movie character name. Yes. Okay? You
will give me the actor, and then who is his role
in the Marvel Universe. Okay, so you give me
the character. I give you... I give you a character.
It could be from any movie. Oh, I see. I give
you a character. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. You
give me the actor, and then who is Marvel. Gotcha,
gotcha. So, the first one is Shaft. Shaft. From
the famous Shaft movie. Uh -huh. And Shaft 2,
The Squeakquel. I would say... Shaft 2, The Seduction.
Rated X. I would say Shaft plays... The original
Shaft in the 70s was played by actor Richard
Roundtree. Okay, I will say Richard Roundtree.
Nah, don't do that. Okay. Don't do that. Who
they play in the movies. I would say Shaft plays
Ultron. And his name is Richard Square Tree.
Okay. Shaft is played by Samuel L. Jackson. Oh,
of course. And Shaft is a famous detective. And
he, of course, plays Nick Fury. This is true.
I recall. All right. The character's name is
Phil from the movie The Hangover. Phil from The
Hangover. So who is the actor and who is his
role? Oh, gosh. Is Phil Ant -Man? And it's the
dude that played Weird Al that one Halloween?
What's his name? Something Apple? Oh, geez, man.
I'm going to go with Ant -Man. Oh, what's his
name, though? I'm going to say Chris Apple. Okay.
Phil is played by actor Bradley Cooper. Oh, and
he's Rocket. And he is Rocket. Son of a bitch.
All right. We're 0 for so far, but you got a
chance. Yeah, we got more. We got more. I think
you'll get this one. I feel good about this one.
Dominic Toretto. Oh, Vin Diesel plays Groot?
That is correct. I would have also accepted Tree.
Oh, sure. Yeah, I was thinking Tree, but I'm
like, I think he always announces it. Like, he's
a fucking Pokemon. I am Groot. He only says his
own name. Right, exactly. This is my friend,
Tree. I love him. Hell yeah. Okay. George W.
Bush. George W. Bush. Who portrayed him in the
movies. Famous war criminal and artist. I've
heard he's a painter. Who played George W. Bush?
In the movie W. Hmm. I would say, who's the one,
the white guy that's got the hair? The white
guy that's got the hair on him. What was his
name again? Thanks for narrowing that down. You
really, that's, wow. Never give me a clue like
that, by the way. You know, the white guy with
the hair. Holy hell. This is a movie I've never
seen, so I'm not sure who was cast for it. But
if I have to guess white guys with hair, I'm
going to say Agent Coulson, and I don't know
the actor's name. Phil Collins. Nope. Close enough,
though. Lock it in. Aiden can feel it in the
air tonight. It is actor Josh Brolin. I would
have accepted Thanos or Cable. Oh, of course,
of course. All right. Last one. And this was
the tough one. Oh, God. This was the tough one.
Oh, wow. Oh, no. But in your head, you should
be able to narrow this down a little bit. Yeah.
Vontae Mack. Vontae Mack. I'll say Anthony Mackie,
the Falcon. Or the new captain. Well, I'm glad
you brought that up. That is not correct. It's
Chadwick Boseman, who is the Black Captain. Oh,
yeah. He plays football player Vontae Mack in
the movie Drafting. Damn. Damn. So, I think I
didn't get a passing grade. No. No. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, eight of a possible
21. The Big Oat Shell. Well, we did better than
one -third. That's true. Let's freaking go. Let's
go. Let's go. That was a poor performance. I
apologize. That's okay. That's all right. I mean,
I don't feel as bad about my computer performance
now. But at any rate, yeah, we'll try it again
next week. Damn right. We're going to take a
quick break. We're back with our beer review
and tier listing to finish up. All right. We
are in the home stretch. We're now on to our
beer review. The official beer review. The official
beer review. The only official beer review. The
only official greatest of all time. Well, you
get the picture. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's a
badass. One and only. Greatest of all time. Et
cetera, et cetera. Yeah. We could go on. We could
go on. And we will. And we will. Did we mention
greatest of all time? Did we? Hmm. Did I forget
that? Bring it up one more time. Greatest of
all time. Cool. Awesome. Yeah. That's great.
Bold Betty. That's what I told her to do. Now,
that's not anyone I've dated in college, but
Bold Betty is, um, that is from Off Square. I'll
let Aiden tell you all about it. Let's freaking
go. Ah, love it. Now, Bold Betty from Off Square
Brewing, a local brew pub right here in Crown
Point, Indiana. I believe they only distribute
locally. Hopefully they get a little more. pizazz
around the region. Perhaps become a regional
brewery because we tend to like their items.
Yes. Bold Betty, a coffee stout sitting at 6
.1 % ABV, so just above the halfway mark there.
30 on the international bidder's unit. Makes
sense of its coffee. Yep. As they describe it,
we split our original batch of Angry Betty and
added 10 gallons of Steam Whistle Java Blend.
Mmm. Which I am not familiar with Angry Betty,
but I am familiar with Steam Whistle as they
are a local coffee roastery. Yes, they are. And
they have phenomenal coffee as well. So we are
going to rank this on the Untapped app. Free
on your phones if you're a beer enjoyer. It may
interest you. Not sponsored, but thought I'd
mention it because we use it all the time. Rank
it on a scale from 0 to 5 on how much we like
it. We'll give you our tasting notes. And of
course, in the comments, let us know what you
are enjoying at home. Please do. All righty.
Here we go. Oh, it smells like coffee. That coffee
flavor really comes through. God damn. It's reminiscent
of Kahlua almost. Yeah. That is a dark roast.
It is. I would argue. As a coffee connoisseur
myself, that's a dark roast. Now we know why
Betty's so bold. She is bold, and I love that
about her. Mm -hmm. That is a phenomenal flavor.
Smells like coffee, tastes like coffee. It's
rich, but it doesn't hold your palate like dessert
beers do. Right. Just a touch of sweetness. It's
really like if you put one pack of sugar in your
coffee. It's just slightly sweet. Fairly creamy,
although it did not claim to be a milk stout,
so the creaminess was surprising. I agree. Very
smooth. But it's not thick. It's not syrupy like
dessert stouts and dessert porters tend to be.
This is very nice. I enjoy it. I enjoy it a lot.
And you've come around to coffee over the last
few years. I have. I used to despise it. The
only time I would drink it, especially in college,
was when we were studying for finals and you
had to stay up all night. And you'd sit there
and drink black coffee. And it was just, it wasn't
even good black coffee. It wasn't like a... So
I think that Maxwell House type shit. Best way
waking up is Maxwell in your... No, never, ever.
Never, ever. I thought that ad was Folgers. Is
it? Folgers in your cup. Yeah, maybe. I don't
know. They're both shitty. They're both bad.
Either way. I just combined the two, but they're
both bad. It also reminds me of a skit. from
Seinfeld, where the library guy comes to his
house to visit him about a book that's been missing
since, like, 1971. Jesus. And the guy wants a
cup of coffee, and Jerry has no coffee in the
house. He's like, you don't have some instant
coffee? He's like, no, I don't have any instant
coffee. He's like, Folgers Crystals, you keep
it in your cupboard. And as people come over,
they want a cup of coffee? Use your Folgers Crystal.
Like, does this whole bit. And the actor, like,
it's one of my favorite character actor scenes
in sitcoms. Just... Hits it out of the park.
Just so great. So, yeah. Coffee. Coffee Twok.
I like it. It's good. Yes. I'm going pretty high
with this one. I love coffee. I love stouts.
I'm going 425 out of 5. This is most certainly
in the elite tier for me. Flavor profile. I'll
go coffee, smooth, and roasty. Okay. Like I mentioned
on the first sip, there's a touch of sweetness
in there. there's almost a touch of something
hazelnutty, maybe. Yeah, it's kind of hard to
place. You get a touch. Now, granted, this is
for my coffee connoisseurs out there, but you
do get a touch of, like, pit fruit fruitiness
that you would get from coffee beans. So that
does come through. Like, you can tell they just
put coffee right in this fucking bitch, man.
Yeah. So it's phenomenal. Yeah, I went with Coffee
Smooth and Roasty. My grade was a 3 .75. Now,
I typically do. That's in my wheelhouse for stouts
in general. But I don't know. This one is, I
don't know. As Aiden said, I've kind of come
on to coffee in the last several years. I've
always been a coffee lover. I know you have.
Like this one, you mentioned it's not a dessert
beer, and it isn't. But I sipped that, and my
first thought is like, Not that I advocate morning
drinking, but hey, if you ever day drink, you
got to start somewhere. Yeah, exactly. Get the
one that has a little caffeine in it. Get one
that's got caffeine and coffee and have a bagel
with it, man. Granted, I don't think people are
legally allowed to sell caffeinated alcoholic
beverages. But if it's in your fridge. But if
it's in your fridge. Go to town. Yeah. If anyone
is a bargo or any of our lovely listeners, I
believe that's why they like hand you. a glass
of Red Bull and then just give you a shot on
the side of vodka? Because I think, correct me
if I'm wrong, lovely listeners, but I'm pretty
sure they cannot serve you an alcoholic caffeinated
beverage. That's why Four Loko had to take the
caffeine out of theirs because it was actually
killing people. I disagree because there was
a night where I had vodka Red Bulls and they
made the vodka Red Bull for me. Interessante.
It came to me as a mixed drink. I'm not going
to say the place or the bartender. Yeah, I was
going to say, don't say it. ATF may show up at
their door. But I will say she made a lot of
them for me because they went down very easy.
You don't say. And I got really sick. And I didn't
get sick. I didn't get sick because I was sick
because I had too much alcohol. I think whatever
that combo was did not. Yeah. go particularly
well for me. You had a half gram of caffeine
in a night and your body was like, what the fuck
are we doing? My body was just like, whatever
just happened was way, like, did not mesh with
us at all. But they were good. Yeah, I don't
doubt it. Alright, I got some badges. Yeah, on
Untapped, for anyone unfamiliar, you do get badges
as you consume different styles or international,
perhaps, independent breweries you'd get different
badges yeah i got a verified adventure level
16 while spontaneity can be fun sometimes you
want to make sure your adventure will rock check
out the menu at untapped verified venue before
visiting and know exactly what's on tap that's
80 check -ins at venue that is verified i guess
you are our verified venue oh i know that I know
that's right. And then I unlock the Beyond a
Shadow of a Stout. We all love stouts. That's
five different beers with a style of stout. Try
five more for level two. That's junior numbers.
What the hell? I drink a lot more stouts than
that. You haven't been plugging them in. I have
not, man. Junior maneuver, by the way. Rookie
move. Dude. Rookie move. Dude. Honestly? Dude.
Honestly? Dude. You bring that up in a local
pub, people are going to laugh at you. They're
going to look you in the mouth and be like, you
just got that badge? I'm just going to sit here
and drink my stout with my nipple on it, apparently.
I got one badge today. Wake up and smell the
coffee level two. Oh. Coffee has been a flavor
counterpart for stouts and porters, which means
coffee's not just for breakfast anymore. That's
10 different beers with the style of porter slash
coffee. All right. Porter slash imperial coffee.
Yep. Stout coffee. Okay. Try five more for level
three. Well, don't mind if I do. I got you. Now.
Mark Moe. Tier list. Of the Mark Moe Show. Yep.
Tier list. From what I've heard, we will be flipping
on and off in the future of tier listing, World
of Weird News. Perhaps bring back Rapid Fire
at some point. But this tier listing will continue
our musical journey into more recent years. Okay.
So, I have 12 songs. All right. Six of which
from the 2010s, six of which from the 2020s.
Ooh, all right. Then I'm going to be asking Mark
Moe and, of course, all you lovely listeners
to rank on a scale from F being the worst of
the worst, D being bad, C being mid, B being
good, A being great, and S being the best of
the best. Of the best. Of the best. Now, honest
reactions. Yeah. Unfiltered. Yep. Give me a ranking.
All right. We're tier listing 2010 songs. Let's
go. These first six. Let's do it. I Knew You
Were Trouble by Taylor Swift. I tend to like
more of the things that she does than I don't.
I would... I'll give this a B. B? I'll give it
a B. It's all right. A B for Baylor Swift. That's
right. That's what they say. Radioactive. By
Imagine Dragons. I know you have an issue with
them. Yeah, they're right up there with Coldplay,
as far as bands I despise. Yeah, I don't as much.
I think they... Right up there with Burger King,
as far as anything, any noun I despise. I do
like the bit that they did with the Impractical
Joker. This is true. That was funny. So they
have a sense of humor, but not a sense of music.
I'll give that one a C. Judger's Hand is going
to step in and give it a C -. Wow. Because I
have that power. You do. You do. Next up in the
2010s, Ride by 21 Pilots. Love 21 Pilots. I can't
wait to see them next month. I'm so excited.
I am going to... I'm going to give Ride an A+.
A+. I remember last week you gave Stressed Out
an S. Now, granted, Blurryface is one of the
best alternative albums. Oh, yeah. Maybe in history.
Maybe in history. Yeah, that's fair. So an A
plus for Ride. Next up, Royals by Lorde. See,
I like that. I don't know if she's done a hell
of a lot since that. I heard there were some
articles saying like she wanted to get out of
the limelight a little bit, take a step back.
But she makes great music. A. A? Yeah. Judge's
hand is going to step in and give it an A+. Wow.
Look at you. Okay. See, I can go both ways. So
you say. That's what they say in the biz. Hey
-o. Penultimate 2010s song. Happy. By Pharrell
Williams. I didn't mind it so much because it's
kind of just a fun, catchy little tune. Oh, it
is. If I remember correctly, I think your mother
hated it for some reason. Like she didn't hate
it. Which is strange because I think that song
was made for the Minions movie. It was. And she
loves the Minions. Right. Correct. Maybe it was
just an overplayed type. That could be. Because
it was on the radio always. B+. B +, I like that.
I'm a Pharrell Williams guy myself. I like him
a lot. And dude, I gotta say, as much as that
song was overplayed, it was fucking catchy as
hell. It was catchy. Absolutely. Final song from
the 2010s. X's and O's by Ellie King. Daughter
of Rob Schneider, who she hates because Rob Schneider
is a piece of shit. Is a piece of shit, right.
B. B? B. Just B. Straight up B. It's good and
nothing else. It's good. It's a good tune. Catchy.
Is it great? No. It's good. It almost, correct
me if I'm wrong here, her style of singing almost
reminds me of Adele in a way. Similar. I get
that. Similar? Yeah. I get that. I always kind
of like that track. Definitely seemed like a
one -hit wonder because I don't know what she
has done since. I don't, right. 2020s. Six songs.
Here we go. Heat Waves by Glass Animals. Oh,
S. S? Damn. S. Straight up S. Yeah, I like them
a lot. I think they're due for some big things.
I think you're right. Yeah. Lavender Haze by
Taylor Swift. Ah, S. Damn, 2020s. It is one of
my favorite Taylor songs, and I know lyrically
probably not her strongest work, but I love the
beat. It's a great tune. Production is great.
Yes. 100%. Beggin' by Monoskin. S tier. Oh, my
God. That's the first triple S we've ever had.
I love the band, and they've done a couple good
cover tracks. Yeah, it's so good. I really dig
it. Whoever the vocalist is, the way... He's
great. I don't know how he hits those notes while
doing that. Like, I don't have much range. Like,
my voice tends to go on the deeper side, typically.
But, like, just whatever sound that dude can
make is very unique. Yeah. And his style, too.
Like, he has a good voice, but then lyrically,
how he can say everything so fast. Oh, yeah.
And, like, kind of go back and forth as the song
progresses. It's impressive. Yes. I like it.
100%. Triple S. Triple S, man. Moving on to another
2020 song. Yep. Antihero by Taylor Swift. Oh,
wow. Look at you. I only made the thing. Shit.
Oh man, I don't want to do four in a row. I'm
going to give that one an A+. Antihero is a great
song. I too like Lavender Haze more than Antihero,
but they're both good. They're both good, yeah.
Penultimate 2020 song, Flowers by Miley Cyrus.
I'm a hit or miss with Miley. And it's no offense
towards her. I mean, I do like how she steps
out, tries some different styles and stuff. I
think she's great. And I love the fact that,
like, Bruno Mars just kind of let her have the
track and just be like, dude, that's sick. Run
with it. Yeah, I agree. I'm going to give her
an A. An A? Mm -hmm. I like that. 2020's been
hitting for you so far. It has. Final 2020 song
of this tiered listing segment, Lose Control
by Teddy Swims. Here's what's interesting about
that. Do tell. Like, when it first came out,
I thought it was fine. Literally, like, fine.
Just an okay tune. It's kind of soulful. But
the more I listened to it, the more I liked it.
And then there's this guy at our local bar on
karaoke nights that does it. And he does his
version. And I'm like... Man, he like, because
I can physically, I'm there in that moment with
him, watching him get so into this song that
now I'm like. I think I like this song. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. And now I'm listening to it maybe
a little bit differently now that I've seen him
do it live a couple times. And I really dig it.
And there's this other kid locally that sings,
and he sounds a lot like Teddy Swims. And so
now it's like, okay, we're getting back to that
sound again. And I think that's great for music.
I'm going to give it an S tier. Damn. I was trying
really hard not to, but I'm like, I kind of have
to. That's the point of tier listing. You got
to be honest. Right. Got to be honest. Well,
that is the six 2010s and six 2020s songs. To
recap, I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift
got a B. Radioactive, Imagine Dragons, C minus.
If it was me, it would have been an F. I'm sure.
Ride, 21 Pilots, A plus. Lord. Singing Royals
got an A+. Happy by Pharrell Williams, B+. X's
and O's, Ellie King got a B. Heatwaves, Glass
Animals, S. Lavender Haze, Taylor Swift, S. Beggin'
Måneskin, S. Antihero, Taylor Swift, A+. Flowers
by Miley Cyrus got an A. Lose Control, Teddy
Swims got an S. That's it. Let us know, lovely
viewers, what you thought of this tier listing
in the comments and give us your rankings. Please
do. Please do. And that wraps us up for this
week. Thank you so much for listening, putting
up with our pipe bomb. But sometimes you just
got to let it go, let it loose. ABC, always be
ready to let it loose. Always be ready to let
it loose. And, you know, I hope that you guys
also have an outlet where you can just blah.
And then be like, okay, I'm good now. Put it
in our comment section. Put it in our comment
section, by all means. So, yeah. So, thanks again
for listening. Like, share, subscribe. Also,
check out Aiden's gaming site. Aiden spelled
the right way. Also, check out our gaming site.
We got some new stuff coming up. Check that out.
That is A &M Gaming. That's all I got. Aiden,
you got anything? Now that my voice is fine,
the show's over. Yeah, I know. Go figure. That's
just the way it works. Vocal cords. Funny. What
do you got? Anything to end the show? As we finish?
Ending? You know what I had to say?