Hey there, everybody. Welcome to the Mark Mo
Show Season 7, Episode 3, Off the Grid. I'm your
host, Mark Maloney, along with my co -host, producer,
all -around super great dude. Oh, and he's my
son, Aidan Maloney. Hola. How we doing? I'm tired.
I am sore. How are you? Pretty much the exact
same. Both tired and sore. Stayed up way past
my bedtime yesterday. We've been binge watching
these like dash cam and body cam videos on YouTube.
And drinking some brews with my girl. Watching
these videos. It's like 8 p .m. Which usually
I go to bed right... 8, 9 p .m. I'm like, ah,
it's the weekend. We can watch a couple more.
Dude, I swear I blink one time and it's 11 45.
Yes. I'm like, oh my God, dude. I need to sleep.
I got stuff to do tomorrow. So that's that. That
is how I arrived here. Yeah, I sleepy. I feel
the same way, man. I've been putting in extra
time at work and, you know, 45. Almost 50 hour
weeks. Damn. And then this week is Porter County
Fair, which I often work. And so that is an extra
five hours added on to the eight, eight and a
half hours. Right. I'll be doing that for the
next 10 days. So. Putting in the work there,
hey. So, yeah, it's it's going to be a thing,
man. It's going to be a thing. But here's something
funny and interesting that I learned. about the
Porter County Fair. So they give you pay or paid
to do the job, which is fine. They also give
you a punch card. And they do this every year.
It's my third year doing this. Anyway, last night
I'm driving in to park to go to work and this
girl goes, can I have your punch card? I said.
What can I have your punch card? And I'm like,
no, no, you don't understand. And I kind of like
grab my shirt. I'm like, no, I'm working. I'm
just going to work. It's just like, yeah, you
need a punch card. It's my third day doing this.
No one's ever asked me for a punch card before.
Right. Ever. It's like, well, they make us ask.
And I'm like, what? And I said, well, I don't
have it. So I'm just going to go to work. Right.
So anyway, I told the guy that runs the music
thing or whatever and then kind of he he jabbed
kind of a joke at me which is fine we're that
way it's cool so he jabbed a little joke at me
like uh some of us didn't have their punch card
and blah blah blah and i'm like i'm like this
is my third year it's the first time i've ever
been asked for a punch card i'm like so why would
she's like well why do you think you got it i'm
like Give it to your family. Give it to give
it to whoever the hell you want or use it on
a day off if you don't work every day. I'm like,
I don't know what to tell you. That's strange.
And he's like, no, you got you. I'm like, I'm
like, you know what's hilarious is I work for
the Chicago Cubs and they didn't make me buy
a ticket to go to work. Right. I like that doesn't
make any sense. If we're here to work, we're
here to work. Why do I need a punch card to come
to work? It doesn't make any sense. That's the
dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's so strange
because the implication is if you don't have
your punch card You have to pay to go work. You
have to pay. Yeah, which is so weird. That's
the dumbest shit i've ever heard It's it's like
porter county get your shit together And it's
like if i'm working for you cool, you want to
give me a punch card. Give me a punch card You
don't want to then don't but It's like it makes
no Sense at all. No, that's so weird. I'm coming
to work for you I'm coming to make sure the crowd
is safe and seated and it's like and And you're
gonna make me use a punch card to get him get
out of here. What kind of crazy shit is that?
That's so goofy. Here's my shirt. I'm going to
work. Have a nice day, right? Oh my god dumbest
shit I've ever heard And the fact that guy looked
to me like I was an alien when he's just like,
what do you mean? He always did. I'm like, dude,
third year here, never been asked for one. Never,
ever. So weird. Yeah. And I let someone borrow
it. So guess what? I'm not going to have it tonight
either. Right. And if they turn me away, I'm
going to go home and I'm going to tell Greg,
hey, I do not have my punch card. They would
not let me in. Have a nice evening. Right. I
don't know what else to tell you. It's the dumbest
shit ever. Just don't approach that guy anymore,
whoever that guy was. I was a young girl, and
she's probably just being told what to do. And
I get that. But even so, I was like, dude, this
is my third year here. I've never been asked
for a punch card before. I was just like, and
at first I thought it was like a parking thing.
And I'm like, I've always parked over here. Right.
Always. So I don't care. I'll park wherever.
It doesn't matter. And I'll just walk in. And
if somebody's like, hey, where's your punch card?
I'm like, I'm working. What do you mean, where's
my punch card? Right. Goofy. I don't know. It's
stupid. It's so dumb. So I don't know. I don't
know what they're thinking on that one. I really
don't. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Very strange. You
know, and then one guy's like, well, you know,
the punch card is like, it's your way into the
fair. I'm like, but I'm not coming here to sit
around and look at a cow and eat an elephant
ear. I'm coming here to work. Right. I'm like,
what kind of crazy shit is that? Like, plus the
fact it's not like I'm getting the elephant ear
for free. Right. So why else am I coming here?
Yeah. I'm not going on the Tilt -A -Whirl. And
depending on the wage with how expensive fair
food is, you probably work an hour just to eat
an elephant ear. Yes. Oh, yeah. The fair food
pricing is stupid. It's absurd. Yeah. And it's
the same places. Nothing looks really interesting
to me this year. I kind of walked around. I'm
like everything just looked kind of meh. And
then so I was hungry because I hadn't eaten.
And I was just like walking around and there
was like a little Ben's Pretzels place. And I
was just like, I'll just get a pretzel and just
head on my way home. So I get the pretzel. Number
one, it's cold. It's called a hot pretzel. Oh,
what the? Number one, it's cold. Number two,
I kid you not, one grain of salt. Oh my god.
On the whole effing thing. So, not only was it
cold, but it had one grain of salt on it. I'm
glad she gave me the little cup of fake cheese
or whatever the hell they give you. Right. Because
at least I could add a little flavor to it, but
man, I got done with that thing and my stomach
was like, you're an idiot. I'm like, oh, I know
this was awful. That sounds miserable. Oh, yeah.
So like, I was toying with the idea of doing
like a fair food review and like trying some
different stuff when I go there and then talking
about it. After that, I'm like, well, I would
have given that an F tier, so. Right. Yeah. Maybe
we just don't do this. It was not. It was not
great. Now let me tell you something. For the
price you pay for that fare, it's unreal. You
pay so much money for not much. Yeah. For not
much. I remember as a wee lad, the fare food
was massive. Like you spent - And it wasn't ultra
expensive either. Yeah. You spent like $13 on
a massive burger. You're getting a massive burger.
Yep. Now it's just depressing. What are we doing?
Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. The only other
food vendor that I like is Spuds and Bubs or
Spuds and Dubs or whatever his name is. Spuds
and Dubs. And it's all, like, it's French fry
stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which was like years ago
was my idea for a restaurant. It was like everything
would be French fry based. And so that's kind
of what this little thing is. And I tried just
their fries the one year. They were they were
really good. They were hot and they were like
I didn't have to salt them They were salted perfectly
I'm like, oh, these are great and they give you
it was like ten bucks and they give you like
this little plastic bucket full of french fries
like hell Yeah, dude. I am so happy right now
and they were good and then later on that same
same Fair I was like, I'm gonna go back there
and then they I noticed they had poutine. I'm
like, wait a minute mom man I said, wait a minute
and I looked I said poutine with those fries.
Let's go. So I got it Best poutine I've had since
I've been in Canada Bar none. Damn. Bar none.
It was so freaking good. Oh my god, dude. Unreal.
So yeah, spuds and bubs are dubs and cubs and
whatever they are. Like that dude, he's got his
shit together. He knows what he's doing. They
got good fries and another like fry sort of thing
There's like one that's got like pulled pork
in it or something like I'm sure right on I'm
sure it's great. That dude's one of the homies
We go way back. We got we go way back to different
schools together. So Yeah, it's like he's he's
he's he he she it They they are all G's. They
they're great But that Ben's, man, nah, you can
stick those pretzels somewhere, man. Those suck.
The first F tier in a while. Oh, right. And it
goes to Ben's Pretzels. It was so bad. It was
like, I literally was like, if that was my first
Ben's Pretzels experience ever, I would have
been like, I'm never going back there again.
Right. Never, ever. Like, it was awful. But I
get that from more than half the fair food. Just
kind of walking around like, this is so uninteresting
to me. Right. But whatever if you like pigs go
pet a pig, you know I I did actually to get to
my car I had to cut through the goat thing and
of course in a way it kind of freaks me like
no one else was in there because it was like
late and I just kind of could the doors open
I'm like, I'll just cut through so I start cutting
through and they all like looked at me at the
same time I'm like, well, okay. Hi. I'm like
saying hi to them And the funny thing is like
when they they don't bad it's like they don't
do the sheep thing. Yeah, they're like hey And
I'm like they're yelling I'm like all right.
This is low -key Freaking me the fuck out right
now I'm like I have to get out of here and then
I get to the end and that door is locked I'm
like, oh no, I got to go back through them. This
is terrible And then there was a side door and
I just darted out the side door by where they
load this shit or whatever I'm like, I don't
even care They're, hey. Yeah, yeah. God damn.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Goats, man. I don't know. I don't
know what it is. They sound like humans. Yeah.
They sound like humans, which just trips me out.
Terrifying. Yeah. But they're friendly. They
all wanted me to pet them like a dog. They're
all like, hey, hey, hey. I'm like, no. No, leave
me alone right now. It's like, I don't know you
like that. Right. I'm not even an introvert and
I'm freaked out. I'm like, leave me alone. Ah,
it's crazy. But anyway, yeah, fair. Fun times.
Fun times. Great times. Good stuff. An easy way
to lose $100 on food and games that just aren't
worth it. No, no. And the hilarious part is...
Where all the food vendors and everything are
it's called the midway and that is a perfect
Name for it. It is the middle. Hey, that's funny
because most of those places are incredibly mid
like without question Oh my god brutal. It's
crazy. It's so crazy. But hey, you know, here's
my punch card All right God. Here we go. Amped
up, man. Tired, achy, grumpy. Here we go. Want
to talk about Aidan's channel, Aidan Spelled
the Right Way. Now, there are people that visit
it and enjoy the content. That's great. And there's
a lot of you that don't. And you are poo heads.
Get out of here. So what you need to do is you
need to go to Aidan Spelled the Right Way and
check out his gaming content, which is really
great. GeoGuessr, PolyBridge, Observation Duty,
tons of horror movie games. And I know Aiden
took a little bit of a break. So what's going
on in the world of Aiden spelled the right way?
Well, still plenty of these horror movie games,
as you put them. A lot of those coming up. I
got a Steam. gift card for my birthday. Oh, nice.
I've been using that to purchase some fun games
to play. So a lot of neat ideas on the future
of the Aidan Spelled the Right Way channel. Nice.
Yeah. Nice, nice. So we're interested to see
what's next for sure. So check that out over
on the old YouTubes. There is a collab that we
do, A &M Gaming, so kind of this crazy kooky
stuff that we do on this show, but we do it on
the gaming channel. And we do a lot of games
like GeoGuessr and Observation Duty, and I'm
gonna forget the new Observation Duty. It's the
spectator. Spectator. Yeah. Spectator's fun.
We do some of those BuzzFeed quizzes from time
to time. Those are pretty great. Those are pretty
fun. Yeah. But just stuff where we can go on
there and chit chat and make jokes and be silly.
And that's the point where we're making jokes.
Ha ha funny. Ha ha funny. And look, if we poke
fun at something that you like, say, I don't
know, France. It's nothing personal send all
of your cheeses and wine to us all of the time
You know where we have no problem with you guys.
We love you guys We've had some beef with the
French we've had some beef with the French over
a couple of jokes Which actually were kind of
funny not gonna lie. I thought it was great But
for anybody that like listens to our content,
they know we poke fun at ourselves we poke fun
at our own country more than anything. This is
true. So people just need to chill. They just
need to chill. Because I think it's just some
funny stuff. Yeah. It's not that serious. It's
really not that serious, guys. So at any rate,
we just go on there and we just have fun and
be goofy. So if you want, come join us. We are
over on the YouTube as well. And then this beautiful
little piece of artwork that we do, the Mark
Mo Show. is on all podcast platforms and YouTube.
So definitely check us out. I had somebody tell
me the other day that, hey, I was on my way to
work. I decided to put your podcast on. You and
your son have really good chemistry. That's funny.
I'm like, thank you. I'm like, I appreciate that.
And so here's what's funny. So five times since
I've started working at the fair, two days, three
of them. I was referred to by people I didn't
know as the podcast guy. Damn. Two of those people
said, hey, aren't you the waiting room guy? Which
I find super hilarious. That they remember me
from that, and that was over a year and a half
ago. Yeah, that era. So, gee, I must just have
that effect on people. I don't know. Memorable.
Memorable, anyway. But yeah, I had good conversations
with all of them, it was kind of funny, and back
in the day... I was coach. People come up to
me and call me coach. I'm like, I wasn't your
coach. I'm like, who? Right. But see, here's
the thing. I literally actually was a coach.
I coached kids football for a while, and then
I coached baseball. And so there were a lot of
kids that I've coached at one time or another.
So were they the parents of kids that I've coached
or they just like they know my radio show at
the time was called coaches corner So was I that
coach like I just did yeah, so they refer to
me as coach and I just be like hi How are you
coach speaking in in in what coach? phraseology
are you referring because i just want to know
um no but i thought that was fun so three people
called me the podcast guy so that's neat yeah
someone's listening shout out to the podcast
guy callers yeah absolutely thanks for thanks
for reaching out to me it's pretty fun stuff
uh and even the waiting room people that clearly
miss me i love you guys and uh you know anytime
you want to hang out i am uh I am at Franklin
House or I am at this new Gardner Hotel. They
have a very cool, very cool little speakeasy
thing at the top, which is, it's a different
vibe. It's much more chill, but it's just different
and it's fun. good cocktails and the cocktails
are good and they're not super expensive either
like they're they're they're good stuff my friend
melissa is a bartender there and besides the
fact she's a badass bartender she created one
of the drinks and that drink is just super good
um so yeah Definitely check that out if you're
in the Valparaiso area, which is Northwest Indiana,
which is Chicagoland. Sorry, Cranky Bears fans.
We're taking your team. But yeah, you guys can
check me out there. I'm there sometimes. I'm
at Franklin House sometimes. Sometimes at Blue
Point. That's a place I've started to go to a
little bit. They've they've got some good food,
too. I mean, they're known for seafood, which
I'm not much of a seafood guy. But like they
got good burgers, too. Like the burgers are pretty
good and they've got some other good stuff. Righteous.
So none of those are sponsored. It's just me
saying, hey, those are some fun places you should
go. Oh, Northside Tap. I almost forgot about
them. Oh, my. How could you? I know they're kind
of a sleeper. I really never used to go there.
And then I had a friend who had. Maddie and Larry,
they had a Nemo night. So I went there with a
friend one night and I was like, oh, this is
kind of fun. And then I went there with my friend,
Melissa and Dustin another night. And so then
like I don't go all the time, but like every
once in a while I'm in the mood and they have
Detroit style pizza, which is probably my second
favorite kind of pizza. And it's really super
good. And on Mondays it's half price. Damn. So
that to me, that bar always felt like it had
the most like old Chicago bar vibes to it and
like look to it like that would be the place
that would be on a corner yeah on the south side
somewhere and it would just say old style on
the outside that's exactly the vibe yeah it's
100 % the vibe and i dig it and it's like the
bartenders they're super cool and the crowd is
just different it's just a it's a different crowd
a lot of Millennials in Gen X, there's not too
many kids in there and just people in there just
having a drink and a smoke and just talking about
their day and this is kind of more my vibe as
I've discovered. To my knowledge, nobody's pulled
a gun in there recently. Not that we've been
told. Not that we've been told, anyway. But some
places around here have a problem with that little
situation. But it's partially based on, I think,
the type of entertainment or promo nights that
they have, which tend to draw the wrong folks
in there, I feel. But I mean, you know, it is
what it is. You know, you've got all sorts that
pack today, you know. Yeah, this is especially
in Indiana. Right. It's all over the place. And
you add some cranky dude and add the fact he's
packing and then add a couple of shots and beers
and, you know. Yeah, don't mix booze and guns.
What a terrible idea. What a terrible idea. It
really is a terrible idea. It's funny you mentioned
that I was on a road trip once going down to
Florida. And so, naturally, this store is down
south. So it's a gas station. Needed some gas.
Cheap gas. Cool. So I pull over. It was a gas
station slash firework shop. Oh, wow. Oh, what
a terrible thought. Slash gun shop slash bar.
All of that sounds terrible together. The only...
A place like that would exist in Florida. That's
the only place in this country with regulations
lax enough for a building to contain all of them.
All of that. All of that. All of that. It was
insane. I'm just like, yes, fill this thing up
and get the hell out of here. This just does
not look like a good situation at all. We got
fireworks. We got guns. We got gasoline and alcohol.
Bang, bang. The only four things we'll ever need
in life. Well, you know, that was. Well, I thank
you Cletus. Thank you Cletus. We appreciate that.
The only other one I can think of, which was
not as volatile, but was hilarious. So I'm in
Wyoming. I'm with a friend. We're going to cross
country and it's a town called Cheyenne, which
is kind of a fun little town. It's kind of a
mix of like modern -ish buildings and buildings
that look like they're straight out of the old
west. Kind of fun little town. So we're hungry.
But like we didn't want to spend a lot of money.
And so we look and we're like, oh, there's this
Chinese food place down the road. Let's go to
it. Cool. So we go there before we're going to
our hotel. And we pull up. It is Chinese food,
a laundromat, and an off -track bedding parlor.
Oh my god. All in one shot. Dude, that's so smart,
though. Brilliant. Actually. It's like you're
going to sit there for an hour and a half waiting
for your laundry. Why not make a night of it?
Yeah. Let's go have dinner. Play some bets. Let's
go get some Mongolian beef and some orange chicken.
God, that sounds fucking good. Doesn't it? And
we're just going to down that, and we're going
to throw our loads in, and oh, by the way, fourth
at Saratoga. Let's throw a couple bucks on it,
watch the ponies, see what happens. That's so
cool. It just sounds like an oddly fun night.
You know what I mean? That's so neat. So shout
out to whatever establishment that was. God bless
Tri -Anne. Oh my god, it was great. But anyway,
I'm gonna get onto the topic of the show, which
is off -grid. So, like, if you've ever just had
that feeling, like you've just had enough of
the rat race, you're tempted to just pack it
in, move to some remote hideaway, and just do
the basics and just live. And I felt that way.
Even to this day. I mean, there's days I wake
up and just say, why do we do this? What is the
point? We're all going to end up in the same
place. Let's have as much fun as we can before
we're done. Like, why get on this hamster wheel
for 80 years? And it's like, oh, my life's over.
That was not as much fun as I thought. Bye. Right.
Later. That just does not sound great. Well,
you're not alone. A lot of people kind of have
those thoughts. Estimates say anywhere between
180 ,000 and 250 ,000 people currently live an
off -grid Lifestyle, that's awesome. We need
to bump those numbers up man. We need to bump
those numbers up And look, I know money is a
big part of it. We're we're a crapitalistic society.
So I I get it Like if I had a few money doing
heartbeat no reason. Oh, yeah I got enough money
for for food and health and whatever. I don't
need to worry about anything else, you know Live
close enough to a town to get supplies and stuff
but far enough away where I can just be like
in a cabin You know have a sat dish or something
so I can watch a game occasionally and have a
dog, right? Yeah, I'm good. I am good good as
gold Well, there's few things to think about
if you're if that thought has entered your head
more than once right so you have to Locate other
energy sources right because you can't really
make it off the grid that way without having
sources of energy. Right. So like, for example,
solar, wind, hydropower, that kind of stuff when
living off the grid. It can be challenging, it
can be pricey, but it doesn't have to be either.
So just wherever you're going, whatever you're
thinking, that's got to be one of the top things
on your list. Invest in renewable energy gear.
Okay, so this is kind of neat too. If you don't
have access to conventional power, right? You're
not going to be hooked up. Or if you choose to
be fully off grid. Or you choose to be fully
off grid, right? There's renewable energy here,
like mini wind turbines. Or like if you have,
say, like one of those vans, it's not like a
conversion van. It's like those vans you can
like turn into like a tiny, tiny little studio
apartment, whatever. Right. Like you can you
can put solar panels on the roof. Yeah. You could
say it could be an electric vehicle and have
solar panels on the roof and you can draw power
from all that Yeah, you know all that and that's
honestly if you do the math Yeah, get enough
solar panels to run your house charge your car
and a battery right to yeah power. Yep I mean
they're all that equipment's gonna last you a
couple decades. Yeah, so do the math I mean it
might damn be cheaper than paying for electricity
Especially in the age where it's all being stolen
by these fuck -ass AI companies Oh, God, that's
the app. That's going to be a different show
altogether. Yeah, I get that. You won't really
need air conditioning per se if you're going
to be kind of on the road, off the grid, all
of that to cool your house, because that's just
kind of a nonexistent thing. So if you have like
a teeny tiny little home, a shack or just like
this conversion vehicle kind of thing. Displace
windows strategically, right? And get cross ventilation
going. And, you know, unless you're like on the
equator or like in southern Florida and Arizona
with the killer bees. Yeah. Check that content
out, though, for sure. Like that's crazy stuff.
Like you'll you'll get enough air to make it
work for sure. or just some small oscillating
fans and things like that. Just get some wind
going and you're fine. And if you have a cabin,
ceiling fans or house fans are massive for cooling.
Yeah. There's a thing we had. We had this house,
actually in the neighborhood that Aidan lives
in now, we had this house and... We had what
was called a whole house fan. I never knew this
thing existed before we moved in there. We like
moved in and like the first week we're there,
I looked up. I'm like, what the hell is this
thing? And we did it and this fan went on and
these little vent things opened, but it didn't
blow out necessarily. It just, it kind of. Yeah,
it didn't blow down on the house. It pulled air
up into the attic and out of the house. Right.
So if it was a nice enough day where you could
have windows open, you turn that thing on. Your
house is cooled. Yeah, it's done. Like every
room of the house was just cool enough, right?
It was kind of all the hot air that rises pulls
it right into the attic where all the hot air
is anyway Yeah, yeah, like a genius. It's kind
of genius there. There's no question about it.
Um So based on that to like keeping warm and
cool naturally a straw bale house has exceptional
insulation surprise qualities that will keep
you cool in the summer and warm in the winter
and I know the Indians did that with what their
Adobe's and and the Inuit as we learned is the
proper term although I I don't know how Eskimo
is offensive but Yeah, we were looking that up.
I don't know we couldn't figure that out It seems
like Eskimos a white people term that like the
crackers came up with right and then like the
natives of the area We're like no, that's not
what we're called, right? Yeah, I made it into
a Christmas song and you know Right, you know
how that goes. Oh, yeah, but the the Eskimos
or Inuits as they like to be called they're They're
igloos. They're made of snow and ice, but you
can go inside and you're warm. I can't even imagine
that concept, but it's kind of interesting. I
guess they can start fires in the middle and
then have an apparatus or, once again, whatever
is natural so that it doesn't get smoky and the
smoke goes out the top. But the heat stays in.
But the heat stays in. Human ingenuity. Human
ingenuity. We'll find a way to live anywhere,
just about. off the grid as it were and heat
using wood so as long as it comes from sustainable
sources like you know managed tree farms or recycled
lumber demolished buildings you know so wood
is a considerable supply for this off -grid living
electric heat is inefficient. So switching to
like a wood stove or just like if you have a
fireplace will help you save money on electricity
if not eliminate it. Right. Right. Because not
only is that fireplace going to provide heat,
it's going to provide light. True. So you got
like a double there. Yeah. And if you're like
wood stove is heating your house, some wood stoves
even have little iron tops on them like you can
cook on the same wood stove that's heating your
house right isn't that cool it's so awesome uh
searing a steak on my furnace right exactly yeah
that's so amazing so most will uh will also have
because food's a thing so most will have some
sort of underground. Like a lot of people used
to have root cellars back in the day. His grandma
and papa, they used to have this room in the
basement. And I don't care if it was 95 degrees
outside or 20 outside, this room was always chilled.
Wasn't cold, but this little closet in the basement
was always cool. So you could store a lot of
stuff down there. Vegetables and all sorts of
stuff. And so, you know, root cellar kind of
things, very important, but also greenhouses,
right? Because I would imagine Part of this too
is look, you're gonna have to go to town and
you may want a steak from time to time or some
ground beef or chicken or whatever. And maybe
you raise your own animals. Maybe you'll call
your own chickens. Who knows what you're gonna
do. But from a vegetable standpoint, why not
grow your own? Why not grow your own vegetables?
It's literally free. You just gotta take care
of them. Put it in the earth, man. It'll just
grow. It'll grow, yeah. So, you know, ventilating
those greenhouses is important. So like you fill
a five gallon water jug with water after painting
them black. Hear me out. Put them along the north
wall of your unheated greenhouse so they can
absorb heat during the day and release it at
night. Those are called thermal batteries, by
the way. And there are a bunch of different ways
you can do that, where even even certain foundations
are just these massive concrete slabs where the
concrete slab will heat up during the day as
the sun is on your house and disperse the heat
at night, keeping your house warm, even in the
winter. That's pretty amazing. Pretty cool. It's
so cool. Using rainwater to harvest. Now this
is something I learned. from Aiden's mother back
in the day. And then even more so, because I
know a lot of people in our area, which is Porter
County, do this, which is harvesting rainwater.
So they do this by getting these rain barrels,
and you hook them up to your gutters. So when
it rains, you should collect the rainwater. Right.
Collect the rainwater, there's a little spigot
on the bottom, and away you go. You turn your
hose on and you you water your plants whatever
you got and You know by the time it gets low
gonna rain again right fills right back up. Yeah,
so you will you will have plenty and Unless you're
in Las Vegas or Arizona, you know someplace.
It's arid that system probably won't work super
well for you But in most places, especially the
heartland or the Midwest, you know where we get
our share rain That's gonna last you all spring
all summer and it'll work perfectly. Once again,
grow your food. So that's an important part.
It's eating healthier and more natural foods.
So there are lots of ideas in terms of how you
do that, starting as seedlings, get them in the
greenhouse, take care of them. And if you have
an outdoor garden, as opposed to a greenhouse,
because not everybody can afford a greenhouse.
That's true. So if it is outdoors, just do a
little bit of research, find out what vegetables
do best in your area. They literally break down
areas across the country. If you're mid -Atlantic
or Midwest or Heartland, like the times of year
you plant certain things and which vegetables
do better in certain climates, and just pay attention
to that. and kind of dive into that. So like
if cucumbers do well, get yourself some Cukes,
man. Right. And just let those things go crazy
or celery or rutabaga, tomatoes, whatever you
like. It really is all about quality care, just
the quality care for. For those vegetables making
sure that they're watered and soils aerated and
all that kind of good stuff And like that's all
super important, but and the storage of the food
after it's done, right? Yeah, so whether or not
you're cooling it like in a root cellar Fermentation
is a good way to preserve food over winter if
you so choose Yeah, if you have that cool basement
closet or if you have a root cellar something
like that getting in a jarring There's quite
a few things, tomatoes and various fruits and
things like that that you can jar. You can take
your blueberries and your strawberries, turn
them into preserves and stuff like that. Turn
them into wine. You know, because even if you're
off -grid, who's to say you still can't get your
buzz on once in a while? Exactly. I've got some
ideas today. That's awesome. Feed your garden
soil. So to get rid of grass and weeds spread
a thick layer of manure After a year, you'll
have excellent garden soil that can be planted
without digging. Yeah, and of course Compost.
Yep all food and paper waste. You can just compost
it'll turn itself back into a nice rich Soil
additives. Yeah, I gotta I gotta be honest when
when your mother started that granted she had
a god I think she started with maybe like a Ten
by ten little area that she boxed off with some
recycled wood and whatnot. It would just dump
Waste in there not waste not like burp, you know,
not out of your ass We're talking food waste
and all that kind of stuff and would layer it
and then layer it and then put paper Cardboard
and layer it. Yeah, I didn't know what she was
doing. I'm like, why are we collecting garbage?
I don't I don't I don't know I assume she knew
better so I was like whatever and sure enough
later on that bottom layer because that's you
harvest that from the bottom layer work your
way up was all this rich black compost compost
yeah that you could put right in your garden
and it's pretty amazing plants love it yeah yeah
they they really do so um yeah you can definitely
do that as well uh make natural bug spray so
insects are a problem there's no question when
you're trying to you know you're trying to have
uh you're trying to have vegetables you're trying
to have spices things that you're growing naturally
and there's just aphids and all these other things
that are just like oh yay thanks for the food
no i'm not feeding you go away or for your own
like comfort mosquitoes suck mosquitoes are the
worst they're absolutely the worst uh and The
thing is, could you go to an ace or a Home Depot
and pick up some sort of bug something or other
and I can't say eradicate them because you won't
eradicate all of them, but take those numbers
way down. You can absolutely do that, but here's
the problem with that. If you're applying that
stuff, even if it says it's quote unquote safe,
how safe is it if it's killing animals? Right.
I certainly would not feel comfortable putting
chemicals on. my garden. No, no, I'm just gonna
spray this right on my lettuce and my cabbage.
What? Yeah. You know, that's kind of a difficult
thing because then it's like, well, I'm gonna
wash it. Well, of course you're gonna wash it.
But it leaches in. It leaches into the soil.
It leaches in to your produce. To the produce.
So yeah, that's a real problem. So you can use
distilled water, vodka, or rubbing alcohol. I
wouldn't waste vodka on that. necessarily. There's
better things you can do with vodka. There's
great things you can do with vodka, but I'm just
kind of like shot for you, shot for me, shot
for you, two shots for me. I mean that shot for
the plants. That could make gardening a lot of
fun. Rubbing alcohol, a few drops of essential
oils like peppermint, lavender, citrus, and you
can create kind of your own chemical free bug
spray. There's also certain plants, flowers,
things like that, that some wildlife cannot stand.
A lot of plants in the mint family. Lemon balm.
They don't like it. So plant it all over your
garden. Just let it grow all over your garden.
Marigolds. I hear like deer and rabbits and things
like that. I hate marigolds. I don't know if
it's, it must be the smell. Because they do not
smell particularly good. Yeah. But they're pretty.
So it's kind of like, okay, cool, I have this
garden, all these vegetables, and then there's
a little pretty flowers kind of just throughout.
So that when these animals come and try to eat
your stuff, they'd be like, maybe not tonight.
Stinks like fuck around here. Exactly. They're
just not going to do it. You also have to protect
your skin, right? So I got this little bit of
information. This was interesting. They're saying
to melt beeswax, coconut, or olive oil in equal
ratios, a few drops of essential oils, pour in
a little jars or tins for a secure and calming
ointment for your lips and your skin. Oh, I could
buy that. Right. So you're talking about protection
from the sun, but you're also talking about moisturizing.
Because if you are off -grid, you're probably
outdoors a considerable amount. If you're outdoors,
that wind in that sun's going to... kill your
skin. Right. So you gotta be careful with that.
Purchase energy saving appliances. So if you
have to have traditional appliances or you want
them, just look for the energy efficient models.
The stickers are right on them if you go in the
store. That will help you save money and lower
your carbon footprint. So if you do want any,
look for those stickers. Yeah. That's important
stuff. Now, this I never got into because I just
didn't like the idea of it, although I get it,
are composting toilets. So, composting toilets,
they say, is an excellent method to lessen your
reliance on city sewage systems and produce priceless
fertilizer for your gardens. I don't know if
I would put human waste on my toilet. No, see,
I wouldn't do that either. Comminor, no problem
with that. Or horse. Cow or horse is fine. But
like, look, if you want to do that, kind of just
do it like they did in the old west when they
had an outhouse, right? You just had something
that you sat on and you had like a 10 foot pit
below you and you just crapped in the pit. Yeah.
You know, and over time that crap just solidifies
and becomes part of the earth down there. Right.
And that to me, like you're going to do something
like that, like that. would make more sense to
me. Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. You can just
go outside and piss on a tree, too. Like... Right.
That's... Especially if you're out in a cabin
in the middle of nowhere or you got your little
camper van thing. Find a tree. Find something.
Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's easier said for dudes,
but... I'm sure the ladies can, you'll find a
way to make it work. Maybe a squat, but they
can make it work. They can definitely make it
work. The only other thing really on this list
is like purchase used goods. So purchase used
goods rather than new ones, which will help you
save money and prevent unwanted trash from ending
in Lake. Lake fills, land fills. Well, they are
filling in the lakes, too. I mean, bodies of
water. But that's also a good thing, too. We
used to go to Goodwill all the time and things
like that. Rummage sales. Rummage sales, all
of that, to avoid contributing our dollars to
all of these factories in Bangladesh and Vietnam
and other places. And hey, for granted, those
14 -year -olds are just trying to make a living.
You know, all that being said, it's kind of the
same thing with building new homes. It drives
me crazy when I see, oh, yeah, we're building
100 brand new homes. I'm like, there's 100 used
homes in town. Why can't people just go buy those?
Yeah. There's more empty houses in this country
than there are homeless people. Right. It just
so happens they're all owned by massive corporations.
Yes, they are. Trying to make sure that you will
rent forever and never own anything. Yep. God
bless America. Isn't it great? Yeah. Isn't it
amazing? So, your off -grade dream life, it's
just a few easy decisions away. F those bills,
F that rent, live simply, and live happy. God
damn right. I mean, that's the goal. It should
be the goal. Yeah. And yeah, there's just there's
no reason. You know, you just sit there and your
job frustrates you and life frustrates you and
bills frustrate you. It's like, why am I doing
all this? There's just no point. Yeah. And what
a what a utopian idea to just being able to live.
Yeah. Fuck around in a garden for a little while.
Yeah. What a fun idea. Yeah. Live, live close
enough to some town where you can get things
when you need them. You know, maybe a town that
has a library. So you can go get yourself some
books and magazines and things you can read.
Borrow a DVD. Exactly. You can make it. You can
do it if that's what you want to do. And it's
appealing, man. It is. It's very appealing. Very
much so. So, just some food for thought. If you
guys, maybe some of you out there actually do
this. If you do, hit us up in the DMs and let
us know. Be like, hey, I'm an off -gridder. This
is what I would love to do, like a follow -up
down the road. Additional tips and tricks from
the audience. Yeah, let us know how your experience
is going. Anyway, we're going to take a quick
break. We'll be right back with Carpe Diem. All
right, we're back everybody. Time for a little
Carpe Diem. You people send your DMs. We read
them on the show. What show? The Mark Mo Show,
of course. I'm Mark Maloney. That's Aiden. And
we're about to answer your DMs. Sometimes they
are in the form of a question. And this is true.
We will. We can. We're able to. Might. We might.
We're capable. We're capable of doing it. But
it's going to take a little juice. It's going
to take a little something something. Little
sauce. Little sauce. You know, if you happen
to open your wallet, and there's something green
in there, and you pull it out, and it ends up
in my hand. That's pretty nice. Hey, we're listening.
We are definitely listening. Now you want an
answer. Oh, man. Might take a couple, two, three
of those things. Right. That's all I'm gonna
say. Yeah. Maybe he's got Benjamin Franklin on
it. Benji. Couple Benjis will do it. Ulysses
S. Grant, I think, is on one of them. That's
pretty important. I think that's good. That's
a good one. Yeah, that is a good one. So just
just some food for thought just throwing that
out there an idea an idea really because anything
that seed Exactly, we plant that seed often.
Let it grow. Let it grow baby. Let it grow anyway
Here's my DMs for the week At real Ken and James.
I love a hike with a view. What is your favorite
hike with a view? Great question. I think around
here I think it's called imagination Glenn in
Portage, Indiana, or Porter, one of those two.
But that one's pretty neat, just very foresty
around there. But I think my favorite, one of
my favorite hikes was when we as a family went
to Colorado and there's this spot called Bear
Lake, which we actually have a drop in on our
very own GeoGuessr map. Bear Lake was absolutely
gorgeous. Up in the mountains, massive lake.
cool trails. That's got to be up there for sure.
Yeah, that's definitely up there, no question.
Yeah, I would put Bear Lake up there. But man,
don't trust those old people. Don't trust those
old people that have been living out there forever
and they've got their little leader hose in their
chilele and they think they're the shit and they've
lived there so they're used to the thin air.
And we're not used to the thin air. I couldn't
get out of the freaking parking lot, man. I was
just... pulling as much air as I could. He must
be a low lander. Low lander. I can't breathe
right now, but you're about to get that chilele
up your hoo -ha, buddy. You just better shut
your trap. But yeah, Bear Lake is great. Good
hikes in Colorado for sure. There was a place
we went in, was it technically? Idaho or was
it in Washington the place with the sunflowers
where we went on that hike Oh, yeah, was that
one of the Arboretums? Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that
was a nice hike I think that might have been
Idaho maybe Idaho University over the border
right in that area. Maybe that might be right
Yeah, that was a that was a good hike Arboretums
have gorgeous hikes. Yeah now we didn't go on
many hikes around like Coeur d 'Alene in Idaho
But what a beautiful fricking place, man. It's
just unreal. So definitely some good hiking.
And then just being where we're at in Northwest
Indiana, you have the lake shore, you have the
Indiana Dunes. This is true. There are so many
trails there. Good for bird watching or if you're
into native wildlife and plants and stuff like
that, that's all there for you. Yeah, damn right.
Beautiful in the fall time. Oh. Unbelievably
beautiful. Yeah, no doubt So at Ben glad to meet
you Mo show would you do five years in a maximum?
Security prison if there were 20 million dollars
waiting for you at the end. Oh god Five years
of your life. Oh and Maximum security what the
hell's gonna happen to me in there murderers
rapists right all that stuff Ah, because what?
I'd be in my early 30s by the time I'm out. Crazy
violent gang bangers. Dude, I don't think so.
I don't even know if there is a price I would
take. Because honestly, think about it. Honestly,
to survive, you're probably going to have to
join a group. Right. Or a gang. Right. And if
it happens to be with the other whiteys, we know
what that means. Right. And so now you're going
to be tatted up. You're going to have all this
crazy shit on you, even if you're faking it to
make it. you're gonna come out and you're labeled,
dude. Right. Yeah, that's a problem. That's a
huge problem. That's a problem. I think that's
a no from me. I think, first of all, I'm losing
five years of my life. Not a fan of that idea.
Did this, nah, no. No, I just don't think...
I don't think you could hide for five years.
I just don't think it's possible. No. No, I don't
think so. I think it's half the fact that...
But my time is so much more valuable than a price
tag like that Yeah, and then also you're spending
five years in prison right maximum security.
No, thank you I'll pass Ben Does not sound great
does not sound great. Thanks for the offer though
at sweet tooth Timmy I love sweets guys. I eat
sweets. I eat sweets at every meal. Oh, man I
love fresh baked cookies and chocolate cake.
How about you guys? To be fair, fresh baked,
like soft chocolate chip cookies, fresh out the
oven, dude, get real. Next level. That's some
excellent stuff. I think it was a week or two
ago we actually talked about the fact that neither
of us really eat a lot of candies or get infections.
Not a lot. But yeah, fresh baked cookies are
excellent. I'm trying to think what else. Every
now and then, especially if I haven't had sweets
in a while, my body's like, hey, I need some
sugar. I will go into a gas station, especially,
you know, I'm there to get gas, something to
drink, whatever. If they have the Reese's peanut
butter cups in the refrigerator. Oh, yeah. I
do like those. Those are those really good. And
the Reese's sticks are good, too. That's true.
Yeah, those those are similar to another thing
I like. They're like nutter butter bars or nutty
bars. Yes. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking
about. Those are really good. It's like wafers
and peanut butter layered. And then the whole
thing's dipped in chocolate. Those are awesome.
I actually had to stop buying those. That's like
one of my vices. I stopped buying them because
I would get the box and then I would have like
five or six of them. And I'd be like, dude, I
could keep going. So easy to house those. Oh,
my God. Those are so good. I agree. That's that's
a problem. But we apparently, Sweet Tooth, we
don't have the same problem you do. But when
we when we are in the mood. Right. Yeah, not
quite to the extent of old Timmy over here, but...
I don't eat brownies very much, but when people
make them fresh... Oh, yeah, like the dense fudgy
ones. Dude. Out of the oven when they're soft
and really warm. Scoop of vanilla bean on top.
Here's what I don't do, though. I will let other
people take the first couple pieces because I
don't care for the edge pieces. I like the middle.
Yeah, I get that too. Because those are just
the gooiest ones. Yeah. For sure. Last one here
from stoner stanley 420 momo and alan all days
How about it guys Did you answer me? Tick tocky
is ticking Jesus man. Is that a threat? Uh, yeah,
what are we supposed to answer him on I don't
remember. No, I don't remember either Oh, jeez,
I'm trying to think. Was it about a question
about the bath or something? He had a question
about his bath? He took a bath with a fish. With
the fish. He asked about what the fish was doing
in his bathtub, but he takes his bath in the
river. We assume. We think. Yeah. Which would
explain the fish. I'm trying to think. I don't
know. I think we've answered every question he's
had for us. I think we tried. Or at least advise
him. Yeah. So if it's about the last one, there's
a fish in your bathtub because your bathtub is...
Seemingly a river a river lake. Yeah. Yeah, hopefully
that answer satisfies you I know the clock is
ticky talking or whatever. Yeah tick tocky Tick
tocky is ticking Well, thank you stoner. What
do you got Aidan? I got a DM here from bingo
balls free if the world were to exist without
clothing How fundamentally do you think it would
change? Well, that's a first and foremost. That's
a whole industry dead. Yeah, like textile clothing
industry So yeah, you'd probably have millions
of people out of work and then everyone would
just not have clothes, right? I mean, I guess
We would it depends though. Would we all like
what our brains change with it? Like we're used
to it or would we all just be like man? This
is gonna be an awkward couple years before everyone's
like on the level Right. Everybody's just kind
of used to it. Yeah. Dude, can you imagine how
freeing that would be for people in nudist colonies?
Just be like, oh man, thank God everyone's on
our side now. Is on our side, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't, I don't. Kind of hard to picture a world
like that. I know. Like there are parts of the
world where like women have more freedom not
wearing tops. Yeah. Kind of like dudes don't
have to wear tops. But America is just, I guess,
too conservative for something. crazy like that
correct yeah but yeah no clothes allowed it's
an odd flex yeah i'm not not down with that yeah
does it mean no shoes too i wouldn't i wouldn't
work at my job unless i had steel toes on oh
no way uh -uh well dude you go into coolers you're
gonna go into cooler with uh with big jim and
the twins hanging out no way it's no yeah and
also like stepping on all this rusty shit right
dude stepping on rusty shit Do you imagine dropping
one of those heavy cases of beers or something
on your dick? Or a keg? Oh my god. Forget it,
dude. Forget it. It's not worth it. Uh -uh. Not
worth it. Yeah, what a terrible world that sounds
like. Nah, I'm gonna take a hard pass. I'd pass
also. Yeah. A nextium here I got from CreepyGru
checking in again. What do you miss about old
technology? What do... I feel it was less invasive.
Definitely. Definitely less invasive. I like...
Like technology to work for me. Yeah for me to
work for it 100 % I I also like the fact that
it just fucking worked Like there's so much just
slop e -waste electronics that are made That
I just I Don't want to be the guy that's like
old back in the day But I swear to God back in
the day. You could just buy something whether
it's an appliance or some kind of electronic.
You could buy an N64 and it would just work.
The amount of issues there were with Xbox 360s
when they dropped. PS5s even more recently are
having all these problems and being recalled
and repaired. The Nintendo Switch, like even
computer components are only half reliable. Just,
I miss that shit just like you could plug it
in and it would do the thing. It was built for
it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, you still like
that. Yeah. Not anymore. Those days are behind
us. Think of the shareholders. Yeah, we're on
a big brother and I robot now. Yeah, that's the
scary part, honestly. The final DM I got today
from Funky Fresh Flem. Flem. My man. Alliteration.
Even though it's not spelled like that. Yeah.
What are some recent slang terms that you actually
really like? Well, you do like to use the word
Riz a lot. I do. I feel like that's entered your
vocabulary pretty heartily. It's more regular,
for sure. I don't use bet a lot. I feel like
I used it a little bit and then it just kind
of passed. Slay I don't use slay a lot, but a
lot of my friends use that so I kind of like
I'm receptive to it even if I don't use it sure
more often That's kind of interesting That's
God, I think that's about it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm
trying to think like then again. I'm kind of
in Gen Z right so a lot of these Terms that whether
or not Gen Z created them or stole them is a
different conversation. Right. But I feel like
half of them are just in my vocabulary because
I've grown up around it. But I'm trying to think
like I feel like I talk like a like a regular
person. Like I'm not using like lit fam squad
in every sentence. You don't have to. There's
no there's no reason. And a lot of times when
slang happens It's just a shortened form of another
word. Because it's like, oh, we're going to shorten
that up and just turn it to slang. But people
are going to know what that means. Slang itself
is a slang word. Is a slang word. So, like, I
get it. But when, like in some of the Gen Z -er
stuff, when it's just as long or longer than
its original meaning, it's like, well, why even?
Right. Why even do that? Right. I don't. I have
noticed a couple. Where whether or not it's on
my YouTube channel or in real life. Yeah referring
to a group of people as gamers or referring to
people as chat I'm definitely definitely done
more and more recently So I'll accept that that's
yeah in my vernacular pretty commonly. Oh for
sure I don't know like Do you use this one? I've
used it a couple of times, but not very. Hold
up. Hold up. Oh yeah. Like I feel like that.
And then there's, this is kind of yeet. Oh yeet.
Yeah. I've used that one, but that's usually
when I'm just like I'm purposefully being stupid.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean anything by it or like
I'm trying to be cool. It's just like, I'm just
feeling dumb. Yeah. And I just kind of throw
that out there, but like. Skibbity like oh god.
We and I know that's not necessarily attributed
to your people Thank God for that, but like dude
really really like I fear for the future Well,
that's not very skibbity, Ohio of you. I I know
right I know right? Okay, man. Oh God, it's makes
me feel like a goddamn boomer here in gen alpha
speak I don't know what you're yapping about
blood. It's funny. You say that cuz I pulled
I pulled this chart off of socials the other
day. And so now is our millennials referred to
as Gen Y technically? Yeah. Okay. Like there's
there's like things that they say, like Gen Y
would say that really sucks. Gen Z's version
of that is oof. Oof, yeah. Gen X, fuck. Yeah.
Gen Alpha, skibbity. Boomers, gosh darn it. Gosh
darn it. For for for Millennials Wow, that's
shitty Gen Z yikes To be fair, I have both used
yikes and oof have you this is true interchangeable.
Yeah Gen X fuck. Yeah gen alpha Riz Which is
now repurposed apparently and boomers heavens
to Betsy Wow Jesus. Sounds like something a Gertrude
would say. Millennials, I can relate to that.
Gen Z, mood. Yeah, okay. Gen X. Fair assessment.
Fuck. Gen Alpha, I'm literally crying RN. Shaking
and crying RN. I have utilized that in my life
too. Oh yeah. Shaking and crying RN. Boomers,
I'm not entirely following. Millennials, I can't
believe something that shitty can happen. Gen
Z, big oof. Gen X, fuck all caps. Gen Alpha,
it's Joever. Jover? Is that what it is? I think
that stemmed from Joe Biden. Oh no. It's Jover.
Is that what that is? Oh my god. Yep, I believe
so. Jover. It's so Jover. Boomers, well for Pete's
sake. Well for Pete's sake, damn it. Yeah, I
want to know who the original Pete was. What
does his sake have to do with this? Yeah, I know.
I don't care about Pete's sake. I barely care
about my own. Damn. Millennials, that's incredibly
horrible. I'm really sorry that happened. Gen
Z, shit man. Shit man. Gen X. Fuck! It's gen
alpha, grimace shake. I don't know if that's
true. I cannot say that's true. Wow. Boomer,
our deepest condolences. Thoughts and prayers.
That's a grimace shake, man. Millennials, I'm
sorry for your loss. Gen Z, F. Gen X, fuck man.
Gen alpha, L. That's great. Um, Boomers, truly
sorry to hear that. Uh, Monials, I don't think
so. Gen Z, that ain't it, Chief. Gen X, fuck
no. Gen Alpha, nah fam. And Boomers, I think
not, my friend. Quite. I think not. Indeed. Millennials,
wait a minute. Gen Z, hold up. Gen X, yo, fuck.
We getting a trend on my gen? I think I see the...
There is a word we use a lot that we like a lot.
Gen Alpha, hold up, chat. Chat, is this real?
I do say shit like that. Do you? Oh yeah. And
boomers, one moment please. Millennials, let's
do this. Gen Z, let's get that bread. Gen X fuck
yeah, I was expecting like let's fucking go fucking
go that is applicable. Oh God Alpha get to the
sigma get to the sigma mm -hmm Heard that in
my life, dude damn mmm. I've heard a sigma though
Sigma is like a thing what the sigma yeah? Uh,
and then boomers, let's put our noses to the
grindstone. Ugh, sounds corporate. Doesn't that
sound terrible? Oh, we blame them anyway. Yeah.
Money else, it happens. Gen Z, it'd be like that
sometimes. Yeah. Gen X, fuck. Uh, Gen Alpha,
is this phantom tax? What the shit? I don't think
that's okay. Hide. I don't know and then boomers
the squeaky wheel gets the grease Finally all
of the above for Millennials and then Gen Z yeet
Gen X fuck it alpha brah moment and then boomer
a real head -scratcher Wow So there you go. Bruh
moment. Bruh. I like that. Yeah, so there you
go. Related to the subject. Yeah. That's fun.
Who brought that up again? That was... Let's
see here. That was Funky Fresh Flem. Alright,
Funky Fresh Flem. Way to go. Yeah. Nice job.
Made us think. Nice job, man. We're now gonna
move on to Southside Theater. we take famous
movie scenes and we reenact them as performed
by Southsiders. Now we're gonna do a very famous
movie in a great scene. I get a text from Aidan
because there's a certain word that appears a
few times in the script and he basically gives
me one of those no fam. Yeah. Not saying this
certain word. Chad are we so real right now?
and so my reply to that was like oh okay yeah
we don't we don't didn't think we were gonna
yeah i just saw it in the script i'm like uh
uh uh uh no way now this particular scene is
the apartment building courtyard and vincent
and jules pulp fiction i think i mentioned that
vincent and jules they're long matching overcoats,
practically dragging on the ground, walking through
the courtyard of what looks like a Hacienda style
Hollywood apartment building. And the camera
tracks them as they have their conversation.
Now, before we start our dialogue. Yes. Would
you care to be Vincent? Or would you care to
be Jules? And if you're Jules, I know you have
to edit a few things. Yeah. I'll be Vincent.
I figured you would. I figured you would. That
is perfectly fine. Alright, here we go. Pulp
Fiction, Vincent and Jules. Take one. And...
action. Uh, what's her name? Mia. But, uh, how
did Marcellus and her meet? I don't know how
other people meet, man. Just us being actress.
Uh, she ever do anything I would've saw? Uh,
I think her biggest deal was she starred in a
pilot. What's a pilot? Well, you know, the TV
show's on TV. I don't watch TV, my friend. Yeah,
but you're aware that there's an invention called
the television and on that invention they show
shows. Uh, yeah. Well, the way they pick the
shows on the TV is they make one show. That show
is called a pilot and they show that one show
to the people who pick the shows and on the strength
of that one show they decide if they want to
make more shows. Some get accepted, some become
TV programs, and some don't. and become nothing.
She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.
Interior reception area. Apartment building.
In the morning. Vincent and Jules walk through
the reception area and wait for the elevator.
Yo, man, you remember Antoine Rocamora? Half
black, half Samoan? Used to call himself Tony
Rocky Horror? Ah, maybe. Fat, right? I can go
as far as to call brother fat. Got a weight problem.
But that brother gonna do... he's Samoan. I think
I know who you mean. What about him? Well, Marcella's
messed up most of his ass good. Word around the
campfire was on account of Marcella Wallace's
wife. The elevator arrives. The men step inside.
Interior elevator. The fuck did he do? Fuck her?
No, no, no, no, no. Nothing that bad. Well, what
then? He gave her a foot massage. A foot massage?
Yeah. That's all? Uh huh. What did Marcellus
do? He sent a couple of guys over to his place.
He took them out on the patio of his apartment.
Threw his ass over the balcony. Brother fell
four stories. They had this garden at the bottom
enclosed in glass like one of them greenhouses.
Brother fell through. Since then he's kind of
developed a speech impediment. Elevator doors
open. Jules and Vincent exit. That's a damn shame,
my friend. Interior apartment building hallway,
in the morning. Still, I have to say, you play
with matches, you get the burned. What do you
mean? You won't be giving Marcellus Wallace's
new bride a foot massage. You don't think he
overreacted? Antoine probably didn't expect Marcellus
to react like he did, but he had to expect a
reaction. It was a foot massage. A foot massage
is nothing. I gave my mother a foot massage.
It's laying hands on Marcellus Wallace's new
wife in a familiar way. Is it as bad as eating
her out? No. But you're in the same fucking ballpark.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there.
Eating a bitch out ain't giving a bitch a foot
massage. Ain't even the same fucking thing. Not
the same thing, the same ballpark. It ain't no
ballpark either. Look, maybe your method of massage
differs from mine, but touching his lady's feet
and sticking your tongue in her holies of holies
ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league,
ain't even the same fucking sport. Foot massages
don't mean shit. Hey, my friend, have you ever
given a foot massage? Oh, don't be telling me
about no foot massage. I'm the foot fucking master.
Given a lot of them? Shit, yeah, I got my technique
down man. I don't tickle or nothing you ever
given the guy a foot massage Fuck you My man
scene and say well done my man Well done what
that scene needed was a Jimmy bag of donuts from
63rd Street I thought that that my friend you
ever given a grown man a foot massage Fuck you
fuck you Oh, man. Beautiful. Pulp Fiction. Oh,
I know. We just made it a little better. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Honestly. We definitely did. All right.
Well, we hope you enjoyed that. We're going to
do a new movie or show each and every week. So
far, we've done Pulp Fiction. We did an episode
of Doctor Who last week, and we kicked everything
off with a few good men. Very true. Iconic scenes.
We're just going to keep it going. I'm thinking
about a comedy next week. Maybe Airplane. We'll
see. Ooh. We'll see. I think that that could
be good. That surely you can't be serious. I
am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Oh. Oh.
All right, guys. We'll take a quick break. We'll
be right back. All right, we're back, everybody,
and it is now time for a feature segment. You
just made the list here on the Mark Mo Show.
Host Mark. Co -host Aidan. And we do a top 10
list each and every week on various things. And
10 through 2, big number one reveal. And the
rules are, well, let's see. Huh. Interesting.
There's no rules. Woo. Let's freaking go. You
feel better now? You feel more relaxed about
it? I am. Yeah. I was worried about breaking
rules, but at the same time, I kind of wasn't.
Yeah. I kind of break them anyway. Yeah. Who
cares? Anyway, this week. the top 10 ugliest
animals and before all you peter people and other
people like oh my god they're so cute and this
that there are some ugly ass animals man yeah
don't lie to yourself there are some really really
and i'm not saying you gotta get rid of them
eradicate them i just don't have to look at them
right this is this is a isn't to look at a very
shallow just i look at this and it's ugly It's
an ugly thing. It's like, hmm. It's not that
serious. It really isn't. It really isn't. So
we're going to go with our top 10 ugliest animals.
I'm going to let Aiden kick things off. Okey
McSmoky. Well, thank God there's no rules, because
I made a top 13 list. Uh -oh. Here we go. Number
13, ugliest animal, the hammerhead bat. You can
look up a picture of that, and that thing is
just like, how did evolution? sway you this way
so that's a question we'll ask a lot yeah let
me get this straight so did a hammerhead shark
like knock up a bat or did a bat knock up a hammerhead
shark I feel like the shark had to have knocked
up the hammer like a bat right because the like
it kept its wings and all that but then inherited
the face the dominant trait of the hammerhead
shark The hammerhead. Interesting. Is my thought.
I'm not a scientist. Sounds horrific. We need
to get Bill Nye on the horn. Hey, is this true?
Is this true and why? Number 12. The red lipped
batfish. Oh, OK, we're cross breeding again.
Yes, that's what I've been told. The batfish.
red lipped batfish and it is it's fugly you know
you look at it you're like god that you're someone's
kid holy hell yeah oh marge look at our oh oh
god well never mind let's just swim over here
get away from that thing yeah uh number 11 the
california condor yeah that one i am familiar
with ugly little grinch looking guy yeah yeah
It's it's really is really nasty. It kind of
looks like it would stink bad, you know, uh -huh
Most of these do honestly number ten the monk
fish. Oh, yeah a lot of ugly deep sea animals
and that's up there Yeah number nine the pig
nosed a frog. Oh, I saw that one. Yeah So ugly
it's that's a thing like fish and like reptiles.
I believe frogs are reptiles. No amphibians amphibians
so ugly Mm -hmm number eight the bald yuakari.
Oh god. Damn You look at a picture of that in
your brain. Your brain is gonna be like goddamn.
Mm -hmm. How did that happen? Number seven the
goblin shark. Oh, yeah, the goblin. Yeah, my
guy ugly He's an ugly he's an ugly dude number
six the mata mata turtle. Oh, hopefully I'm pronouncing
that right but another little guy that's just
ugly Number five, the proboscis monkey. Oh, yeah.
Is that the one with that funky nose? With the
nose, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like an ape and an
anteater had a baby, and it made the proboscis
monkey. Oh, no. You can picture that, right?
I'm sorry, monkey. We're kind of bullying, but
it's not like they speak English. Right. Number
four, the star -nosed mole. Wow, yeah, it literally
looks like it has an asshole on its face Why
do why does nature tend to want to mess with
animals noses? Yeah, and moles are already like
blind, right? Yeah, dude already can't fucking
see and now you're gonna make his face look like
an asshole What are we doing? Yeah, that's no
good number three the blob fish Just yeah blob
fish is ugly. Yeah, I think that was the fish
in men in black, right? Mm -hmm. Yeah, I believe
so. Yeah ugly fish number two. I'll save my number
one My number two is the naked mole rat. Oh,
I've seen those those are so gross. Oh, yeah
Those are nasty yucky We share a few of these
number ten the Chinese giant salamander. Oh That's
it. That's one of those big Reptile guys, right?
He's gross. He's really just nasty number nine
alligator snapping turtle that one almost made
my list. Yeah Weird look its face is nuts. Yeah
Number eight the hammerhead bat. There we are.
Yeah number seven the good old warthog He almost
made my list, but there's kind of something endearing
where I'm like, it's got like tusks or something
Yeah, that's kind of badass. It's like oh, well,
they were badass enough to name a badass like
Airplane and military after you how bad could
you be you look up a picture? It's like Okay,
well you're scaring me which means you're gonna
scare our enemies cool That's fair number six
Goblin shark. Oh, yeah number five the naked
mole rat Not to I want to go back to your number
six the Goblin shark. Yeah, do you think the
Goblin shark? inspired the Green Goblin And his
appearance interesting because it's kind of like
equal levels of like gross and kind of mean -looking
Yeah, I I get that. You know, do you see what
I'm saying? Like I do you kind of see like picture
in your mind a little bit Well, yeah, cuz the
Green Goblin is mask or not. Yeah, exactly attractive,
right? Could be some truth that Number four the
good old chihuahua. Oh, I didn't go any canines.
That's a good pick. The chihuahua is just A lot
of Chihuahuas are assholes. And they're just
assholes. It's like, look, you know, if you were
just a cool dog, but you were ugly, I might have
let you off my list, but you're just such a dick.
Yeah. At least, like, you would get charm points.
Yeah. Like if you're cool about it. Mm -hmm.
Chihuahuas are not cool about it. No. Number
three, the monkfish. Oh, yeah. Now, we've been
to Seattle a few times. And on Fisher, the wharf
area. Is that the Pike Place? The Pike Place.
Yeah. The ships bring in fresh fish. So a lot
of those fish markets there, those fish are off
the boats moments ago, right? So if you're a
fish lover, probably a super cool thing to do.
Amazing seafood, yeah. I saw a monkfish. Big
mistake. It's like, holy hell, that's something
out of like a prehistoric movie. That is so gross.
People eat that shit? God damn. Not only do they
do that, but the fish market that I went by used
it as a prop, opening its mouth and putting a
little San Francisco logo in his mouth. Oh my
God. Which I thought was hilarious because they
were playing Frisco that week. I'm like, I love
that. That's kind of funny. I love that you guys
did that. That's amazing. Number two, work with
me here. Yeah. Dogpool. Dogpool? Dogpool. The
dog from the movie? Deadpool. Oh yeah. Wolverine
movie. It's a pug slash Chinese crested mix.
I don't know evolutionarily why we bred pugs.
They shouldn't exist. No. They can't be happy.
This dog, granted he... I think it's a she actually.
She looks like she's a sweet pup and... but...
Just... The face. If I'm able to not look at
it and just pet it, cool. It's just, it's a problem.
Yeah. It's a problem. It's a problem. It really
is. That's a good addition on there. I didn't
even think about that. That's so true. Like a
dog so notorious for being ugly. Yeah. That it
made it into a Deadpool movie as like one of
the main bits. Yeah. You're so ugly, you're gonna
be a bit in my movie. You're hired. You're hired.
You are dogpool. Come here, ugly kid. Yeah, oh
yeah. All right, number one. What do you got,
man? My number one ugliest animal of all time.
Infamous rapist Donald Trump. Oh, you did not.
That is my number one ugliest animal. I kinda
love that you did that. All the redcaps out there
like It's like why are you listening right? I
just I don't I don't get it just Go be yeah elsewhere
go make your AI pictures of him muscular and
fucking beat your dick to a piece of shit Attempt
I knew was coming. I mean wait no forget that
last part All right number one for mine is the
blob fish. Oh, yeah Blobfish is super ugly, and
it looks as if someone said, hey, can I make
a jello mold? It does look like a jello mold.
It looks kind of like a fish, but has like 40s
actor Jimmy Durante's face. Oh my god. Can I
do that? Tada! And the blobfish was born. And
the blobfish was born. I'm pretty sure, isn't
that like a deep sea creature? Deep. Yeah. Very
deep. It should stay down there. Where the ugly
animals belong. All of them. Where the uglies
go. Take your warthogs too. Take them all. Take
them all with you. Naked mole rat too. Oh my
god. Yeah. Well, if we missed any animals or
you think one's particularly ugly, let us know.
Yeah. Or if you want to fight us on our decision.
Maybe you're a huge dog pool fan. Maybe you are.
Maybe you're delusional. Yeah. Maybe Dan Housen's
going to curse us for putting dog pool on there.
I don't know. Well, we'll find out here soon.
We'll find out. We don't need that. Anyway, we're
going to switch it up a little bit this week.
Normally we do our Reddit rabbit hole and we
do our things that we may have slept on. But
Aidan's like, hey, I'm feeling like a little
quiz time. We used to do these in the past and
they were a lot of fun. I think Aidan enjoys
breaking my brain. Yeah. Yeah. Both quiz time
and tier listing have been a lot of fun to bring
back from the, uh, the depths of my old podcast.
Most definitely. So we are going to do an Aidan
specialty quiz time. Quiz time where the quizzes
are happening at this time. Now for all of you
lovely listeners out there, you can feel free
to play along. Trivia is just like that. Be sure
to rack your brain. Along with Mark Mo Show of
the Mark Mo Show, I have 17 questions for you.
All right. Worth a total of 23 points. Got it.
So some of them are multi -point questions. I
will announce them as they come up. First question
for you and the lovely listeners. Who was the
main competitor of Digimon? The main competitor.
I'm going to say... Um, the word is just escaping
my brain right now. That's the worst, like, tip
of the tongue type shit. Hachi, Hachi, Hachi,
Hachi. God, what is it? Damn it. I can assure
you it's not Hachi. Oh, well. Uh, Tamagotchi.
I like where your head's at. Incorrect. Ah. The
answer I was looking for, main competitor of
Digimon, is Pokemon. Oh, are you kidding me?
Yeah. God damn it. Yep. This is a two -point
question. You will get one point for each correct
answer. In radio terms, what do AM and FM stand
for? Uh, I should know this. We did have about
a decade's stunt on air. Uh, yeah. On a low -powered
FM station. That's right. Right here in town.
God bless. Uh, my brain is broken. We're holding
on the second question. I know. Well, it did
work a lot yesterday. This is true. This is true.
I've got you at a vulnerable time. You have,
most definitely. I can give you a hint as to
what the M stands for. Both AM and FM. The M
stands for modulation. Modulation. Yeah. Yeah,
that helps. I'm going to go with analog. Analog
modulation? Sure. incorrect a Mundo. Yeah, see.
And then I'm going to go with frequency. Frequency
modulation is correct on FM. Hey, there we go.
We got half a point. FM frequency modulation,
you get the point for that. The A in AM stands
for amplitude. Amplitude modulation. There we
go. The science behind it, the radio waves of
FM come from the frequency, as you could guess,
modulating. Whereas AM, It is the amplitude modulating,
which is why, like, AM radio gets fuzzy around,
like, Transformers and shit like that. Yep. Because
the power kind of goofs it up. What does the
term 1 -8 -7 mean in common police terms? Uh,
homicide? Correct. Murder or homicide. I added
that one because it's in a lot of, uh, a lot
of old Dre and Snoop songs. Yep, that's right.
1 -8 -7 on the motherfucking cops. Next question.
What is the order of the planets in distance
from the Sun? The order of the planets. God damn
it. Yep. Okay Mercury. Yes. Venus. Yes. Earth.
Yes. Mars. Correct. I'm gonna flip these. Don't
flip them. I know I'm gonna flip them. Don't
flip them. Saturn. Jupiter. Yes. Saturn. Yes.
Uranus? Correct. Uranus and then Pluto if you
want to count Pluto. You're missing one in between
Uranus and Pluto. I am. Yes, you are. What's
there? Why do you give me trivia? You're the
trivia answerer. I know. Okay, you are correct
in the order, so I will give you the point hesitantly
because you forgot Neptune. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay.
You did have the order right. Mercury, Venus,
Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune,
Pluto. If you want to count Pluto. I still count
Pluto. I think it's a cool planet. Yep. And I
think it's a planet NASA. Fucking chodes. Two
-point question, once again. Yeah. In 12 -hour
time terms, what do AM and PM stand for? Oh my
god. Morning and evening. I'm not wrong. God
damn. Well, I'm not wrong. Judges judge. Oh,
we're the only two in here. So how do we judge
this? You're specifically asking what the AM
and PM stand for. But the way the question was
phrased. I'm also correct. Damn. You got me on
semantics. Indeed I did. Judges, that's two points.
Count them. I will take them. So what do the
AM, NF, and PM stand for? Anti -meridium, which
I believe means before half. And post -meridium.
And post -meridium. Yep. After half. Wow. Can't
believe you got me on semantics. I'm quite cross,
honestly. Criss -cross. Applesauce. Jump, jump.
Damn right. On a piano, what note is a half step
above G? F -flat? Uh -uh. No, sir. What we were
looking for is a half step above G, which would
be G -sharp. Oh, OK. Could also be called A -flat.
Ah, all right. It's C -D -E -F -G. A, B. So,
F would be a half step below. Got it. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't know music. I know music. I can't read
music. Neither can I. I would have better luck
conducting a peace summit between the Chinese
and the Japanese. Their history goes way back.
Next question for you. What is the official name
of what's commonly called Obamacare? The Affordable
Care Act. Correct. Big point for that one. Yay.
Two -point question for you, once again. What
is the last name of the Friday the 13th antagonist,
and can you spell it? Voorhees. Voorhees, correct.
That's one point. V -O -O -R -H -E -E -S. Second
point. You got it. Let's freaking go. My man.
Give me that horror shit all day. My man. Next
question. Who... Was Abraham Lincoln's first
lady? Mary Todd. Mary Todd Lincoln. Big points.
You are the history guy. I am. Thank you for
that one. Yeah, yeah, certainly. What is the
antithesis of the Arctic? Um, the Antarctic?
Correct. Yep. Okay. Yep. Absolutely. Wait a minute.
Yep. I think I know this one. Uh -huh. What was
Metallica's debut studio album. Oh, OK. All right.
This could get tricky. Hmm. I hmm. Hmm. I I don't
know if you want to count Garage Days, which
I think I believe that's an EP, right? They reissued
later on, but I thought Garage Days was first.
There was master before master there was Ride
the lightning oh Oh, oh, oh shit. I see the cover
now. I had to work back from yeah. Yeah work
back I could hear how they'll all kill them all
is correct God, why was that harder than it needed
to be? Because I was just trying to see if you're
tricking me. No, I was not. No, I was not looking
for any EPs or anything like that. Kill them
all. Correct. I love that you announced that
you could see the picture of the album, because
that's my first thought, too, is like, oh, I
can see the album cover. Right. Soon as I had
that, I was like, OK, I'm with it. Two point
question. What is Aidan Maloney's ideal weather
conditions? And I will give you an extra point.
for specificity. Okay. Overcast, breezy, 50 to
60 degrees. God damn. That's a two pointer right
there. That's a two pointer. I wrote down 60
degrees, breezy, partly cloudy. You got both
points. Yay. You know your son pretty well. Thank
God. Thank God. Thank God. All right. We are
onto the last - I don't need to get kicked out
of his house. We're not done with the podcast
yet. We are into the last handful of questions.
Next up. Approximately, what is the population
of the Republic of Ireland? Oh. Hmm. All right.
The Republic of Ireland. So we're not counting
North. This is correct. There's really only one
city with a population, significant population,
that'd be Dublin. Right. Shannon and Galway or
meh. I'm gonna say 14 million. Perhaps before
the famine, you'd be correct. Lower than that?
All much. Eight? Mm -mm. What? Even lower. Three.
Okay, a little higher than that. In between.
Five and a half. 5 .3 mil. Wow. Yeah. That's
it? Yep. Not many of us left. Yeah. Yeah, that
population post -famine and, you know, the Brits
never truly recovered. I think they need me to
come home. They're calling you. They are. The
pipes are calling the pipes the pipes are calling
Next question. I know this is your favorite and
down this copyrighted Damn I don't know who originally
did it. Yeah, that's true. It's long dead. Yeah.
Oh, well Sorry about your sorry about your damn
luck. Yeah, whoever the studio is that owns the
song is surely not Yet next question What is
the square root of 144? I know you love math.
It's your favorite. I hate math. 12. 12, correct.
Next question. Who was the fifth United States
president? The fifth. Think about it. All right.
So we got Georgie. Old George. We got TJ. We
got Adams. Good beer. I used to know these back
and forth. God darn it. John Quincy Adams. James
Monroe. Monroe. The fifth one. Damn it. Close.
Quite close. Next question. Penultimate question.
owns Walmart. The Walton family. Correct. I would
have accepted the Walton family or the shareholders
because it is a publicly shared company. Sure.
You get the point. Final question and it is a
three -point question. What do ATF, DHS, and
USPIS stand for? Alcohol, tobacco, and firearms.
Correct. What's the other one? The next ones
were DHS. That's Department of Homeland Services.
Close. Department of Homeland Security. Yes.
Yep. Security. Department of Homeland Security.
The last one. USPIS. Oh, man. United States?
That's the US. Yep. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Man, come
on, baby. United States. I can see the wheels
turning. The brain churning. IS isn't information
systems, is it? That is correct. It's not. I
don't think so. Oh man, this is something right
here. The third one's always the toughest. Yeah.
If you need a hint, I do have one. I'll take
it. Okay. It is closely related to the USPS.
Knew that I almost said postal. So I'll say postal.
Correct. United States Postal... International?
Insurance? Information. Uh -uh. Igloo. Yeah,
the United States Postal Igloo. You're onto something
now. Igloo Snow. Igloo Snow. Postal Idiot Symposium.
That would be pretty cool. But unfortunately,
that's not the answer. Illinois sausage. Indiana
sausage, actually. You almost got it. Yeah. I
give up on that one. United States Postal Inspection
Service. Yeah. What are they inspecting? Just
get the damn mail to where it's going. I am pretty
certain they are the, quote unquote, police of
the USPS, making sure people aren't committing
mail fraud or... stealing IRS documents or like
shit like that. Robbing USPS trucks. Bad boys,
bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do?
Where they come for you? Quick math. So to recap,
there were 17 questions, but 23 total points
to be have. Of the 23 points, you got 17. Not
bad. I'll take it. Not bad. It's a passing grade.
It's a passing grade. It's a passing grade. Thank
Jeebus. How are you feeling? I mean, I'm sure
your brain is hurting, but how are you feeling
with the return of quiz time? The yellow one
is the sun. You did get the planet one though.
I did, yeah. Well, I missed Neptune. Judges gave
you the point. Did they? Yeah, I appreciate that.
I should not have messed Neptune because I was
immediately thinking I was at some dumb one they've
just invented that I don't know about. No, Planet
9, Planet X. Yeah. Come on. And why is Pluto
not a planet? Yeah, why'd they make it not a
planet? It's a rock that revolves around the
sun. It's a planet. Yeah. So silly. It's too
small. It's too small. Hey, we don't judge like
that. So all my small kings out there, right?
So if you have a little person do we not call
them a person because they're too small is that
how NASA operates Unbelievable. Yeah, we thought
better of you. Yes. We really did Yeah, we had
hopes hopes of Pluto hopes and dreams hopes for
Pluto right down the toilet. Well, you've done
Well, I know is racking your brain on few hours
of sleep. So let us know in the comments to lovely
listeners Thanks for doing that towards the end
of the job. Yeah We fit it in at the perfect
time. Yeah. Yeah, and As Aidan was saying let
us know how you did out there. Yeah of the 23
points. How many did you get? Yeah, let us know
I'm gonna go soak my head in a bath and we're
gonna come back and then we're gonna drink some
beer and finish with some tear listing All right,
everybody we are back for the home stretch the
beer review, and then a little tier listing.
This week's beer, kind of excited, beautiful
can. I think the can's very pretty. Very neat,
yeah. It is a New Belgium product called Blue
Paddle Pilsner Lager. Why don't you tell the
fine folks a little bit about it, Aidan? Of course.
This Pilsner from New Belgium, 4 .8 % ABV, 33
% on the international bitters unit, which typically
Pilsners are a touch more bitter than Lagers.
traditional lagers but they're both in the same
vein the new belgium brewery macro brewery out
of fort collins colorado as they describe this
beer Climb on in and grab a pedal, our first
foray into loggered beers. Blue Paddle Pilsner
Logger is a Czech -style pilsner with refreshing
crispness from noble hops and a rich malty finish.
Blue Paddle refers to the implement our warehouse
manager's grandpa once used to lovingly paddle
his ass when she caught him stealing sips of
her beer. That's funny. With more body than a
traditional Belgian Pils, Blue Paddle is a reflective
of Europe's finest Pilsners. Okay. Alright, a
little history there on New Belgium. Definitely
a little history. Blood got his ass spanked.
Yeah, well. Blue Paddle, that makes it kind of
funny. That does make it funny. This was the
tool I got spanked by. Oh cool. Now it's a beer,
super great. Alrighty, we are using the untapped
apps on our phones to judge this beer. It's not
sponsored, but it is free, and if you're a beer
enjoyer, this could be for you. Are you sippin'
it already? Is this your first day? Mm -mm. Mm
-mm. What's in your mouth right now? Mm -mm.
Do I need to get the blue paddle? Mm -hmm. Mm
-hmm. He's a little ahead of the curve on this
one, so... Mm -hmm. We'll rank on a scale from
zero to five on how much we like it and give
you a flavor profile as it hits our taste buds,
which it hit one of ours a little early, but
that's okay. We can sloncha, even though you
already tried it. Sloncha. And let us know, lovely
listeners, what you're sipping on. Oh yeah. Oh
wow. What is that note in there? Right? It's
a little bit different. Little bit different
for sure. I like that. There's something going
on. That is very refreshing. Super clean. Super,
super clean. But there's some kind of... Dank
hoppy note in there kind of on the back of the
palette I could see I could see people that like
yeah IPA is liking this Yeah, it's almost it's
a good call by the way. It's almost akin to a
light IPA in my opinion because there is that
hoppiness just a touch It's not it's not bitter.
No like an IPA gets bitter, but there is a hoppy
slightly dank note in there Definitely definitely
Pilsner more than like your traditional like
Coors lager or banquet or something like that
Definitely more hoppy than that Super clean though.
I like it like you get that little hoppy dank
note, and then it just disappears from the palate
mm -hmm This is I should add this is not a light
beer. This is just a Pilsner. Yeah Pilsner lager,
but Quite tasty usually lagers are not my cup
of tea, but this one's got Kind of builds on
the palette a little bit. I think so, too. Got
some character. Yeah, I like it. That was, um...
Yeah, that was tasty. Wish I knew what that was
that I had on the palette. Oh, to be able to
articulate it? Yeah, I don't know. And it's,
like, on the nose, it smells like a pilsner.
Oh, it does, 100%. 100%. But yeah, there's just
something hoppy and dank in there. Just for a
second. Yep. But besides that, it's super clean.
There's not a ton of character before or after
that, but that's kind of what you get from loggers.
What you should expect. I like it. It's not necessarily
up my alley. Usually my ceiling for loggers or
light ales is lower. Just because it's not my
cup of tea, that's just a personal thing. But
I'm going to give this a 3 out of 5. 3 .0. I
went 3 .25. And my flavor profiles were light
-bodied, clean, and hoppy. Yeah, I did clean,
hoppy, light -bodied, and I added dank as well.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that was really good. Blue paddle.
Can't believe you sipped it before you were supposed
to. That was a... That was so habitual, just
to reach for the beer. Oh, I know, dude. Just
like after the last couple of days. It's just
like... Don't mind if I do. Don't mind if I do.
I haven't had a chance to have a beer over the
last couple of days. It's so magical when it
hits your lips. Oh, yeah. It is magical. God
damn it, it's magical. It's magical. It really
is. On the untapped app, we also unlock badges.
Indeed we do. For hitting certain milestones.
Did you get anything today? I did. I got a For
the Can level 13, which obviously is because
we are drinking the beer out of a can. Straight
out the can, yeah. And then I got a recapped
check -in. Whoa. It's hard to believe, but we
are already at the halfway mark of 2026. Celebrate
the mid -year check -in with this exclusive badge.
Seems like we're a little past the halfway mark,
but I get what they're going for. Seems like
it. Yeah. And then Ales for ALS, level two. That
check -in just meant something. This brewery
is a proud partner of Ales for ALS. Yeah, that's
pretty cool. I like that. then riding steady
Level seven want to enjoy a day of bruise, but
need to keep your wits sharp I don't know, if
you just heard the quiz I took. Yeah, right.
Now you got a passing grade. I got a passing
grade. I can't be that tough on myself. You did
get the judges on that two -pointer. What does
AM and PM stand for? That is true. Morning and
night. Yeah, semantics, man. I was quick on that
one. There are plenty of delicious, although
I did get a half of right, because I did know
the second one, not the first one. Yeah, that's
true. There are plenty of delicious brews under
five percent for you to sip throughout the day.
That's 35 different beers with an ABV of five
percent and lower. Try five more for level eight.
And oh, I also got Pride 365. Let's freaking
go, dude. Celebrating Pride does not stop when
June ends. Thanks for supporting the queer community.
365 days out of the year by checking in a beer
from one of these queer owned and queer led breweries.
Oh, right on. Keep going. Try five more for level
two. Righteous. Good shit. Didn't know that was
the thing. That's kind of cool. And the last
one I got was the Land of the Free. Oh. Level
18. What do you got? I got some fun ones here.
I got Ales for ALS level 3. Okay. I got Riding
Steady level 29. Ooh. Just as you did. I got
Pride 365 level 4. And Land of the Free level
88. Ooh. So similar badges. We're all on the
same page with that one. That's amazing. So that's
what we call cooking. Yeah, we are definitely
cooking. Now we are on to the final segment,
which is tier listing. We've started doing that
a little bit more, and I'm interested to see
what we got. Well, I'm actually having a lot
of fun doing the music tier lists. Yeah. I think
it's fantastic. So we are continuing that today,
but we have some new eras. Oh, OK. Now, we're
going to be judging six songs from the 1990s
and six songs from the 2000s. Oh, all right.
So I've collected all of these from pop playlists,
popular song playlists of the eras. OK. And we're
going to be ranking these as tier listing goes
on a scale, F being the worst of the worst, D
being bad, C being mid, A being good, B being
good, A being great, and S being the best of
the best. Of the best. Of the best. starting
in the 1990s. Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys.
Great tune. Catchy. Great band. It's almost reminiscent
of like, oh, who did the Daft Punk? It's almost
reminiscent of Daft Punk with like the, the robot
-y kind of voice. Right. I give that an A. An
A? Solid. Next up in the 90s, Jump. by Criss
Cross, which we constantly reference on and off
air. We do. Jump, jump. Criss Cross will make
ya. S tier will make ya. Damn. S tier. I love
it, man. Full S. It is catchy. Yeah, One Hit
Wonders, but hey, nice hit. That's true. Can't
be mad at One Hit Wonders either. Nope. Like,
they didn't choose which song the radio people
would be like, I'll put that one on repeat. Exactly.
Next up. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix -A -Lot. Another
banger, man. That one's great. And you hear it
at every bar, every weekend. Oh, yeah. That's
an A. I like big butts and I cannot lie. That's
an A for you. Yeah. Solid. Next up, Whatta Man
by En Vogue and Salt and Pepper. That is another
banger. Honestly, kind of a groovy tune. It's
a groovy tune. I give that one a B plus. B plus?
Yep. That's solid. I can appreciate that. Yeah,
man. It is in my own playlists. Is it? I do bump
that, for sure. Continuing the 90s, final two
songs from the 90s. When I Come Around by Green
Day. When I come around, now I have gone on record.
It's saying largely about grunge, but then Green
Day. Don't know Green Day is kind of its own
band. They really pop rock punk rock grunge like
just a kind of alternative growing right? Yeah,
just to kind of mash together But I didn't like
them very much when they first came out I didn't
learn to appreciate them until like my second
my second time around Like that like I did that
nice. That's good when I kind of came around
on them But I'm gonna be fair like then it would
have been a C Now would've been an A, we'll split
the difference, we'll call it a B. B even? I'm
gonna reach my little judge hand in and add my
plus. Don't make it a B plus. Final song from
the 90s, Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio. God darn
it. That's such a good one. I love the fact he
got... God, who did he feature on that? To do
the chorus. Great chorus. Hold on, quick research.
Yeah, gotta do the quick research, man, for sure.
That might be... The singer who provided the
iconic chorus and vocals for Coolio's Gangsta's
Paradise is LV, short for Large Variety, birth
name Larry Sanders. Good job, Larry. Talented
man. I'm gonna put that one in an A also. Solid.
Solid. A, uh, kinda top -heavy. A's very top
-heavy right now. 90s were fully top -heavy,
honestly. Yep. Now onto the 2000s. Okay. Poker
Face by Lady Gaga. Now I'm gonna say this. I
like her a lot. She's so talented. She's so talented.
There are a lot of songs. I would put A or S
tier, but I never really vibed with this one
a lot. I don't know if it was just... I agree.
It's composition or just the overall sound of
it. Whatever. Yeah. But being who she is and
kind of legendary, I'll at least give her a B.
Give her a B. Well, I'm gonna reach my judge
hand in there. Oh, here we go again. I'm gonna
give it a B. I'll add a minus. I'm giving it
a B minus. Okay, fair. I think there are a dozen
Lady Gaga songs better than this. That are better
than Poker Face, yeah. I just never understood
why this one got so played on the radio. Agreed.
Single Ladies by Beyoncé. I'm a single ladies,
I'm a single ladies. Easy now. Easy now. Copyright
claim. Once again, I could say the same thing
about this song. that I just did about Gaga and
Like the video was okay, but the song like I
never vibed with I'll give it a C. C totally
fair Sexy back by Justin Timberlake. I got my
sexy back. Yeah He stole that from Pearl Jam
for sure I'm sure he did C plus C plus that's
fair It is a little catchy. We got to give him
that. Oops, I Did It Again by Britney Spears.
What happened to Brit? She's had a troubled life,
man. For sure. Yep. Yep. Well, mental health,
man. It could take down anyone. I will give her
a solid B+. That's fair. I would argue there's
better songs by Britney Spears. Penultimate song
from the 2000s the middle by Jimmy eat world.
Oh See, I like that song mmm. Ah Man, I'm gonna
say Top -heavy, but I'm gonna give it an A give
it an A. Yeah to be fair We have been more critical
of the 2000s so far. I think that's fair final
song of the 2000s Yeah, bye. Bye. Bye by N sync
See here's the thing. This is once again where
you get the music and you combine it with a movie
or anything like that Oh sure and opening up
that Deadpool Wolverine movie so fucking funny
classic absolutely classic and Based on that
I I got it. Would you play it on your phone in
your car? Honestly, I've listened to it in my
car before whether on purpose or accident it
is catchy i'll give him that it's catchy b plus
b plus for n -sync they've earned it honestly
uh -huh joey fatone what does he even do joey
fatone i don't know i even do i think he likes
turts i think that's that's fair the turts one
more one more one more sleep this night night
forever to recap In the 1990s, Intergalactic
got an A, Jump by Criss Cross got an S, Baby
Got Backs or Mix A Lot got an A, Whatta Man and
Vogue Salt and Pepper got a B +, When I Come
Around, Green Day got a B +, with the judge's
hand, Gangster's Paradise by Coolio got an A,
And in the 2000s, Poker Face, Lady Gaga, B-,
Single Ladies, got a C! Take that, Beyonce! Sexy
Back by Justin Timberlake, C+. Oops, I did it
again. Britney Spears, B +, The Middle, Jimmy
E World, A, Bye Bye Bye, NSYNC, B+. Let us know,
lovely listeners, what you would rank these songs
as. Yes, let us know. Do you disagree? Do you
agree? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. We're
cooking. We're cooking either way. You can say
what you want. You can literally say anything.
You can say anything. Not without consequences,
but you can say anything. You can say anything.
You feel it. You'd be like, hey, you give that
guy an A, I want a B plus. You give that B plus,
I want a B. See, that was an A. I would have
ranked this an F. You would have ranked it an
F. And you're just sitting there in your own
head, and you're coming up with all these ideas.
God damn it. I can't believe they gave them blah,
blah, blah. And that's fine. You're allowed to
do that. I'm allowed to do this. It's your right
as an American to do it. You wanna have your
own podcast? Have your own podcast. You can sit
there and talk about music all the live long
day. Yeah, ABC. Always be ready to chat about
random shit, man. I mean, if anyone out there,
really, you can make a better tea list than us.
You can come on my show, make a better tea list
than me. I will shake you in the throat. And
that's a promise from the...