Hey there, everybody. This is season five, episode
10 of the Mark Mo Show, Seasons in the Abyss.
Welcome. Welcome to our little podcast. Now,
just about completing five seasons with you fine,
beautiful people and my amazing co -host and
producer of the Mark Mo Show. Amongst many other
things. Aidan Maloney, how are you? Hola! Doing
pretty good, pretty chillin'. A bit of a long
week got rained on, which was kind of refreshing,
actually. It was like one of those warm rains.
Right. You know? It's like nature's way of saying,
yeah, winter's just about done. Right. And then
go figure, because we're in the Midwest, there's
like a 80 % chance of snow on Wednesday, and
it's like, god damn it! Yep. This is why we can't
have nice things. It's exactly why we can't have
nice things. Absolutely devastating. It's diabolical.
Diabolical's a good word for it. It is a good
word. It's a word that I get from my friend Papa.
And if you know, you know. And if you don't,
too bad for you. An excellent adjective. Mm -hmm.
Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate that. For sure. Yeah,
no doubt. Well, you made it. Did I? Sure. That's
special. Anyway, god, five seasons. Aiden also
has his own YouTube gaming channel called Aiden
Spelled the Right Way. PC gaming content like
GeoGuess or PolyBridge, Observation of Duty,
and much more every week. Lots of horror movie
content. Well, horror movie game, horror game.
You know what, I'm not gonna explain it. What
you need to do is you need to go to YouTube and
check that shit out is exactly what you have
to do. And Aidan, what's going on right now on
your gaming channel? What's new? It's been a
fantastic time. I've been playing a lot of, well.
It's all new games to me, but a lot of newer
releases as well. I just played one the other
day called the 18th Attic Oh, which is kind of
one of those like looping horror games almost
pt -esque where Not to give out too many spoilers,
but let's just say a freaky mannequin might chase
me around as I'm panicked lead trying to make
sure I don't die to anomalous poltergeists That's
terrifying in your own attic It can be right
at home, and you'd never know. Never know. Yeah,
very excellent game, though. Much enjoyed. Yeah,
I'm one, and I've watched enough of your content,
especially on the horror side of things. Not
only is the commentary hilarious, but some of
these games are legit scary. Oh, yeah. And this
coming from a dude, like, I'm... Even though
I'm a little older, I still consider myself a
tough guy until something puts me down for good,
I suppose. I can get up from being hit from a
car, so I got that going for me. But I will be
damned if I'm not gonna hightail it out of a
house or an apartment or any sort of building.
I start hearing some noises, I know I'm the only
motherfucker there, and all of a sudden it's
like tink. bump. And I'm like, I'm not doing
the dink and the bump. Somebody else is. Clearly.
And they now are the ownership of this area.
So I shall make my leave. Ski -daddle. I shall
ski -daddle because what I don't know I fear
a great deal. You know, then you feel like a
jerk. You turn the corners like a little kitten
near and then you're like, wow, gosh damn it.
Yeah. Wow. Holy cow. But then I'd probably still
run because it's cat. Sure. Cats have these mystical
powers. Freaks me out. But at any rate, yeah,
man, it's good stuff. I think anyone, especially
spooky, especially if you really are into the
horror movie genres, there's a lot of great content.
Yes. Yeah, I agree. Just fantastic. So that being
said. We came up with this great idea. We do
have a few. And that great idea is, we're like,
hey, why don't we take the chaos and the improv
and all the stuff that we do here on the Mark
Mo Show and merge it together with some gaming,
kind of that chocolate in the peanut butter situation.
And it's been going swimmingly. So that's the
A &M Gaming channel. Oh, both are on YouTube,
by the way. And it's been a lot of fun. It's
been very fun. Yeah. It's been a lot of fun.
And so we had been doing, gosh, for like five
weeks running this Dream Daddy. Dream Daddy.
It sounds just like that. That's why we have
an album. Yeah. So yeah. So we do this Dream
Daddy game, which has been fun. and allows for
all that chaos that we've talked about. But we've
also done things like GeoGuessr, which is a lot
of fun. We've done the Observation Duty, I think.
What did we do last, eight? Yes. Observation
Duty 8. And it's kind of funny. And if you watch
it, I'm a bit sleepy. Oh yeah, so we had to crack
out a little energy drink for you midway through.
Oh my god, I was definitely a little sleepy.
I was like, man, I got to get my crap together
here. And then kind of midway through, all the
energy drinks hit. And I was just like, oh yeah,
let's go. And then we solved it. Yeah, we beat
it. Second try. Wow, I really need to do this
when I'm awake. Right, right. But it's a lot
of fun, guys. So I hope you check that out. Like,
subscribe, all that kind of good stuff. And yeah,
there's the Mark Mo Show. I'm trying to think
if we're doing anything else, even in my life.
I don't know. Yeah, I know, right? It's like,
what's really been going on? Yeah. Got a new
back pain. Oh, that's exciting. Which is kind
of fun. That's exciting. Yeah, not sure where
it came from or if I just worked myself too hard
yesterday, but I was flying I was flying I was
not gonna let my my own decrepit body slow me
down and It is not paid dividends. What's the
opposite of dividends? losses It's paid losses
losses. Yeah. Oh, yeah the loss of a back that
didn't hurt as much But that's new that's been
going on. Yeah. Yeah lifting heavy things can
can do that. Yeah, I am I've kind of been in
the same boat, but that was, you know, I'm almost
two weeks out from being hit by a car. Not in
my car. I got hit physically by a car. As a pedestrian.
As a pedestrian. And number one, lived to tell
about it. How about that? Sure. But number two,
found out I have a super hard head. Apparently
what I know it's just shut up. I just Know I've
been making jokes. I've been making jokes the
last two weeks about oh, yeah, you know that
your mother had always said I had a hard head
ha lol This it's true so yeah, I didn't split
it open or anything like that got a hell of a
concussion along with like neck pain back pain
all that kind of stuff, so uh healing uh definitely
healing so that's the positive thing uh but just
aches and pains and things like that might visit
the old chiropractor sure yeah you know so we'll
see see how that goes but uh anyway yeah this
is uh this is seasons in the abyss for our our
fifth i want to say it's our finale but i'm gonna
i'm gonna explain in a minute but it is and it
isn't so this is the end of five seasons here.
And it's called Seasons in the Abyss, which for
you Slayer fans know that that was their fifth
studio album. Whoa! And I thought, hey, how fancy.
We just have a baller album be the title of our
finale, not finale. And the reason I say not
finale is because next week I'm going to be sitting
in a studio with a phenomenal young musician.
Her name's Ava Rainwater. And that If not the
finale, then she's maybe the bridge from season
five to season six. So that's going to be really
interesting. She's got some of her own music,
which is going to be super exciting. And we're
going to learn a lot more about her. And hopefully,
at least locally, locally we're here in Valparaiso,
Indiana. Imagine like the northernmost portions
of the state of Indiana, not too far from Lake
Michigan. Some call it the region, some call
it the South Shore. That's kind of our area.
That's home, as it were. So region, South Shore,
you're going to get to know this person this
summer. You're welcome. And you're welcome for
that. I've loved... having local musicians featured
on my shows. Joe Valani is definitely one that
I've had featured. Ava, Kaia Bryce, who was local
playing shows. We had her, not only had her on
the radio show, but we had her on, I did a 24
hour radio thon. And yeah, I'm freaking crazy.
But I had plenty of libation to keep me moving.
So it was fine. It was fine. I was looped as
hell by the time morning rolled around. But she
came in and performed on that. And now she's
in Nashville. And she's on the verge of making
it. So it's pretty cool. If there's any way we
can use this platform to help people out, I should
say. good people, because it's got to be people
I have a good vibe about. Sure. I'm not going
to just do it to do it and be one of the Joe
Rogan's of the world. Right. I don't want to
do that, but I want to genuinely put good people
on this side of the microphone, whether they're
a comedian, whether they're a musician, whether
they're anything else, and feature them, because
I think that's kind of cool. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
So anyway, Yeah, five seasons, man. What are
your thoughts? The big five. I mean, it's been
a happy birthday. Happy birthday. What are you
thankful for? Yeah. What are you thankful for?
Oh, yeah. Let me look at the list. It's been
good. I like looking back on all the seasons
we've had, it's kind of, it's easy to see how
far we've progressed and we've kind of, I don't
want to say settled into. something because,
you know, we've got revolving segments and we
try and keep things fresh and new. But we've
kind of settled into this little rhythm that
seems to be popping off to be very natural. Yeah.
How the shows tend to progress. Not that we ever
had a problem with that. I think even in season
one of the show, we still had a similar rhythm
from doing the radio show for so long, radio
shows for so long. But it was different because,
first of all, we're not on air. We're live. And
then I edit it afterwards and get it up and all
that. And then having a two hour radio show versus
having an approximately 90 minute podcast. Correct.
Kind of had to fit some things around. And also
the copyright problems of, you know. That was
interesting. Yeah, that was interesting to find
out sometime in season one. When you're like,
oh, yeah, I found these royalty free songs and
then we use them in between segments and Wouldn't
you know they got copyright claimed? So so let
me I want you to continue but I just want to
say What the hell else are people going to use
royalty -free music for if you can't? Utilize
them on social media platforms without getting
tagged and be like, that's mine. You said it's
royalty -free, dude. This is free music Yeah,
so I don't know if it has to do with the the
language of royalty -free law like with attributions
with permission blah blah blah like if if there's
just something we needed to do to not have it
claimed I'm not sure about that but that could
just be the reason. But I remember in season
one, one of our first episodes that kind of popped
off and felt, not only popped off, I think it's
still one of our most watched videos on at least
the YouTube side, but it was kind of one of the
first episodes where I felt like, okay, this
is good, is the 40 acres and a mule episode in
season one where we're talking about Kendrick
Lamar. Halftime show and just music in general.
I think that's maybe the episode where music
really started creeping in to Unless that was
sometime in season two or three That's a good
question. I that might have been season one I
mean you can you can obviously do live research
here, but sure I thought it was season one. It
was like the fourth or fifth episode and We were
having a little bit I don't want to say trouble
because it's just, you know, when you first start,
your numbers aren't going to look great because
you're just starting out. But I want to say it
was like the fourth or fifth one for that year.
And all of a sudden it was like bam. It was the
fourth one, yeah. And I was like, oh, they see
us now. It's just like you had to wait for that
moment or that right thing. And with Kendrick
Super Bowl halftime show and that amazing line,
I was just like. Okay, I think this is definitely
something that we need to talk about Yeah, it
was the halftime show alone was excellent. And
then of course recently we talked about the Bad
Bunny halftime show Yes as well, and I just wanted
to bring this point up too which happened in
season one is We made an episode called no fly
zone. It was our fifth episode of season one
and We specifically we kind of chatted On and
off about it of like okay. We don't really want
to be a political show You know we we'd like
to keep things light and everything right and
the fifth episode was the first one where he
started talking about politics Right was that
fifth episode the fifth one and since then I
know season two was politics heavy Very much
so season three season four on and off politics
heavy but It's it's hard not to talk about politics
when that's the biggest, craziest shit going
on in the world is mostly caused by our country.
Correct. Yeah, that's that's fair. And, you know,
growing up as a kid of the 80s, I have to say
that despite the heavy conservatism of the time,
politics was still something. Number one, you
just didn't talk about it because it was just
like, oh, yeah, you go and you vote and that
person's going to do a job. And that's all you
really thought about it. And were there still
things in the news that were heavy, Iran, Contra,
and other things? Yeah, there were those things.
But for the most part, you didn't have to worry
about anything. You're like, oh yeah, everybody's
there just doing their job. And then if your
neighbor was a Republican or your other neighbor
was a Democrat or whatever, no one cared. We
just didn't care. We're just like, we just want
people to go to work and just do the job. And
maybe you're gonna do a good job and I like it,
and maybe you won't. And so then I'll look for
a new candidate next time. But like we just didn't
sweat it. It wasn't that serious. But now we're
in a time where every decision that's being made
is is is crucial and it's affecting millions
of people and not in a good way. Right. So it's
that's why. I mean, that's why we do it. And,
you know, do we drill down and do we get angry
sometimes? Yeah, we do. Yeah. But do we try to
be the steward of Comedic political viewpoint
we try right because when when the craziest shit
in the world is going on and you've got Pedophilic
clowns running your government right you have
to try a way to to find the comedy in it You
have got to be yeah it because it is comical
It's the most absurd shit. This is like. This
is like something so absurd The recent happenings
in this country over the last year and change
are so absurd, people would be like, oh, wow,
yeah, the onion went kind of far with this bit.
No, it's real. It's happening. It's really happening.
It's happening. I mean, I just... This is not
a political show. I mean, about... One quarter
of the show is the opening dialogue is the opening
dialogue, right? We we talk about how we're doing
we talk about the weather crazy happenings and
then we usually have a subject we want to cover
for the day whether it's toxic masculinity within
fan bases or correct talk about the holiday coming
up and Then sometimes it's like okay. This this
news cycle is fucking crazy. We need to chat
about what's going on in the White House. Correct.
Yep. So it's not, I never wanted to describe
this as a political show when it's an occasionally
political segment of the show. And I think that's
fair to say. That, yeah, that's definitely fair
to say. And, you know, I think another thing
too, and this is worth mentioning, is that sometimes
we take on serious situations that aren't very
political, at least not directly when we talk
about them. For example, mental health. And I
think mental health was something we really drilled
into, especially that first season. Oh, sure.
But it's something we keep coming back to because
I just think it's super important, especially
when all of these other things are going on in
your world that are just negative, negative,
negative. It's heavy weights. It's so hard to
kind of put those blinders on and be like, OK,
I'm just going to keep moving. I'm just going
to keep moving forward. But that is a lot easier
said than done. Sure. It just is because these
other things in the world just keep just keep
slugging away at you and you got to keep moving
forward. And, you know, from that mental health
perspective and suicide and other things like
that, it's it's worth talking about. And I I've
tried to be. is genuine and transparent, especially
on that subject, as I can, because it's something
that's affected me a lot over the past five -ish
years. I want to say, like, after COVID. Yeah.
Honestly, after COVID. And who knows how much
post -COVID has affected my mental health as
well as other people's mental health. Right.
Just in addition to the world. I just felt like
that that was such a focal point and it was like
oh This is where the world changes. You don't
know it yet, but everything's about to change
right and sure shit I mean, I just in some ways.
I don't recognize like what's going on. No, no.
It just doesn't make sense. Right. And because
of the lack of mental health care and welfare
programs in this country, we never got the time
to think about it, you know? Yeah. And really
get those thoughts out about like, wow, we really
just went through a pandemic, a million Americans
died, you know, tens of millions of people across
the world died, around 10 million or so. what,
three months into the shutdown, it was just like,
oh no, we're opening back up, we gotta keep the
capitalism machine turning, so everyone just
go back to work and forget it ever happened.
Bro. Right. We didn't get time to process the
trauma of living through a pandemic, and then
you're just tossing us back in like, oh, go enjoy
your low wages again, we need you out there.
That's right. Like, well, cool, buddy. No, I
agree with that assessment. And I feel like that's...
I would say the difference between personal politics
and bipartisan politics, because we do talk about
both. That's true. And we had a recent episode
where we talked about the youth of the nation
and how anxiety and depression rates are skyrocketing
and drug usage and alcohol usage skyrocketing
amongst Gen Z 'ers and younger millennials. And
that's not a bipartisan political show. Correct.
we're talking personal politics, we're talking
about human beings, and I think that's an important
distinction to make too, is of the maybe two
-fifths of our episodes that are political, half
of those are, we're talking about personal politics,
not bipartisan politics. That's right. I think
that's a fair distinction to make too. Not that
I'm, not that I have to be defensive about the
content we make, but... I like making that distinction
for my own self, just to be like, okay, I'm not
one of those chodes online just yapping about
left versus right, red versus blue all day. Right.
Because that's what they want. Division. They
want the division and that sort of stuff. And
look, when we look at things or you put things
under a microscope, we can look... you know if
you're on the right or you're on the left and
you can look at things and you can put things
under a microscope and if you want you could
just sit there and be like oh the left oh the
right and this and that and you can do that if
you want but ultimately this is this is a an
issue with humanity this is an issue with how
we're moving forward as a people right um and
not just in america it's just it's everywhere
else where this is taking place in this this
um sort of authoritarian uh theocracy like it's
it's this thing is creeping up corporatocracy
all of it and it's it's very hard for that average
person to deal with it and as i said Even during
the 1980s, he didn't have to deal with it as
much. He was like, oh, okay, so we're not all
poor anymore. There is still a middle class.
We still can take a vacation every year. Okay,
things aren't that terrible. But now here we
are. Well, and were the seeds planted for what's
going on now? Maybe, some of it. But here we
are, and it's not good. Right, it's not good,
and I look at it just now from a personal perspective,
because it has affected me personally a great
deal, especially in my professional life. But
I look at it more because I'm very empathetic
towards other people, and I don't know why. Maybe
I'm a superhero, I don't even know it. Superheroes
are always sad. But I look at it from just like
people, and I see people struggling, and I'm
like this... This doesn't need to happen. Right.
Like, people can just have a normal life. I don't
think people are like, oh, I want a Lamborghini
in the driveway. We don't want that. You know,
the Elon Musk's of the world, they're the ones
that have more money than they could ever use
in 10 lifetimes. Right, in a thousand lifetimes.
A thousand lifetimes. Meanwhile, it's just like...
Well, you know, I have this car, and it's kind
of shitty, and my home's not so great, or I got
this apartment, and the landlord doesn't give
a shit. Right, and you have three jobs just to
make ends meet. Right, you have to. And at that
point, you're looking at quality of life. And
people trying to say how great America is, or
America great again, or whatever that bullshit
line is. It's not. You know, and you look at
it, and you're like, for who? Right. For who?
You know, you got people wearing those red caps
living in a double -wide. And their car's falling
apart. And I'm like, do you see what's going
on here? And that's, you know, so I guess that's
just a reason why half of our shows so far, give
or take, have had that glimpse into this political
culture that's going on right now. Because it's
everything happening around us. Right. And I've
always said, look, you know, we do, politically,
we do slant a certain way. We do. without question.
But we do try to take a fair look at everything
as it is. And trust me, you know, when the left
is being stupid or they're not doing their jobs
or whatever the case is, I'm gonna lay into them
too. Right. Because their job is to make our
lives a little better. They are funded by taxpayer
dollars. They work for me. They work for you.
They're supposed to. They're supposed to work
for us. And they don't. Right. So that's why
I think on occasion we have that openings that
we do on various issues. Right. Because I think
it's worth talking about and it's topical maybe
especially at that time that we do it. Yeah.
The politicians work for the rich cunts who own
all the media who are informing you to fight
a culture war that is complete nonsense instead
of actually having solidarity and fighting a
class war, which is necessary. Yes. Full stop.
That's it. That's the cycle. Yeah, that's it.
And, you know, if anything, like I said, it's
tough because there may be people that like to
listen to our show, and maybe they're a little
bit right on the spectrum, and they don't agree
with us. But you know what? That's okay. That's
that's part of what is supposed to make this
country great is that you have different viewpoints
and you can agree or you can disagree But let
me just say that's where it should end. That's
where it should end. There shouldn't be all this
violence It shouldn't be like, oh, yeah, they're
they're domestic terrorists and there's no no
We're not right We just have a different viewpoint
on things. And if I say, hey, I believe in this,
and you're like, well, no, I disagree. I think
it should be this way. That's fine. It can stay
there. And then it's like, well, OK, we just
don't agree. And we move on. Or. we can have
constructive dialogue and be like, oh, that's
interesting. Why do you think that is that way?
Right. And then you would try to explain it.
And I'd be like, oh, here's my perspective. Like
that is how people should communicate. We've
also had shows on communication. Right. A communication
breakdown recently. This is true. And it's just
it's communication. And back, I can think of
Reagan and Clinton as two examples. far from
perfect people, but what they would do is understand
how things work and realize, hey, to get this
done, I have to talk to the other side. We have
to come to some sort of agreement. And like,
that's why shit got done and things worked for
the most part. That's not how it's done anymore.
Right. It's like a dictatorship. One guy at the
top and all the other little a little insignificant
peon sitting in that big building called the
Capitol. The individuals who are supposed to
provide checks and balances. Don't. Don't. Don't.
So we need to get back to working how it's supposed
to work, is what we're supposed to do. I don't
know if we can get back there. I'm going to be
completely honest. If this can happen in our
system, it means the system was not infallible
in the first place. Correct. And if this can
happen, it means the system is not good. Nope.
And must either change or be completely uprooted.
Yeah, I would agree with that. Fundamentally.
I would agree with that. But yeah, five seasons
of this, guys. And as I said, you know, we do
take hard look at some things sometimes. But
we also like to talk about things, like we talk
about mental health, other things like that,
and try to be constructive about it and kind
of look at it because we know in our listening
audience, we know there are people out there
having a tough time, maybe economically, maybe
in relationships or their job or various things
like that. And things are tough. And we want
to be able to talk about that. We want to be
able to talk about that with you guys and let
you know, hey, trust me, we're all going through
some level of this stuff. Right. Some of us more
than others. But just to know that we can have
a constructive conversation about it. and you
guys can engage with us. Maloney Media on Instagram.
is one place where you can find us. You can find
Aidan or my name, Mark. You can find us on the
various socials. You can leave comments on the
YouTube side of things. I'm not sure about all
the podcast platforms if they... I don't know
if they have... You can leave a review. A review,
but yeah. I'm not sure if that really counts
as a comment section. But I think YouTube is
better for engagement from that side of things.
But by all means, leave a comment. And if your
comment is, you guys are douchebags, then hey,
best of luck to you in your life. Right. That's
fine. But you know what? Especially in our gaming,
I do like that in our gaming we do happen to
have more engagement. But I do love that people
do that. And they're just like, hey, you guys
keep going. And I love that. That's super great.
Or like that one guy. We were doing our gaming
show. It was GeoGuessr, which is fun, and you
shall play it. They just kind of drop you in
different Google Maps. You're supposed to figure
out where you are. Right, right. It's super fun.
And so we were at the Denver Broncos Stadium.
We were dropped there. Now we knew we were dropped
there, but we're trying to get as close to where
the pin is as possible. We were trying to get
a perfect score. Now, Aidan and I were there.
And so we're going around like, oh, why doesn't
this make sense? We know we're here. And then
this other guy is like, oh, no, no, no. You were
right with your first thought. It's over here.
And we started overthinking. We were overthinking
it. But we love that engagement, guys. We love
it. And can you criticize? Of course. That's
fine. Can we have discussion? Yes, we can. Can
you send us DMs? Yes, you can. Will we answer
your questions? Well, well, well. We'll get to
that later. Remains to be seen. It remains to
be seen. Might be a little trick to that one.
But at any rate, we're five seasons in. I get
to do this about every week with my son, which
is amazing. And, you know, who the hell am I?
But this guy's the talent. Without question this
guy over here is is something else and I'm just
I'm privileged to be able to sit here and do
this every week Just have an absolute blast with
it. And as we said, you know, we have those openings
and everything else, but we have the top ten
list Which God we've been we've been we did this
when we're on the radio side of things just shy
of a decade of doing Yeah half of a decade It's
just it's that segment that won't die because
people like it So and there's you can make a
top ten list of anything of anything anything.
Yes top ten light bulb brands You can anything
not that we've stooped that low right exactly.
It's a top ten reasons. We are constipated, right?
Number one the cheese number one that cheese
So yeah, I mean, you know, it's just been so
fun Carpe Diem you Roku. For Roku owners, you
know what I'm talking about. There's a story
there. There's a story. But Carpe Diem, you know,
that was just something that was born out of
pure engagement and comedy. People interacting,
yeah. And interacting. And it's just so much
fun on that end of things. That has been really
great. We've had so many other segments, some
that we've had on the shelf for a while. Maybe
we'll have to have a discussion about bringing
some of those back. But we've done. There's been
a lot of crossover, too, from a podcast I used
to have where, like, Burning Questions kind of
was similar in a way to Carpe Diem's, but the
questions were sourced from Reddit. And then
we have Tier Listing, which we've done a time
or two on the show, which is super fun. And of
course, World of Weird News is a classic. That
is a classic. It's so good. Because you guys
are weird and we love you for it. Yeah, we've
had Rotating Fry Guy, Frozen Guy, Reddit Rabbit
Hole, While You Were Sleeping, Review Preview.
Yeah. A lot of different segments. A lot of different
segments. And it's been, God, it's been a ride.
And I'll have to say this, we're on the radio
side of things here in Valparaiso, Indiana. That
was our start. And I have to say that there was
a process to all of it, where I was a co -host
and then I became the host and I became the host
of multiple shows. And then Aidan came on board
and Aidan was kind of doing his own thing. And
so like that, it was just like a progression
along the way. And we realized at some point
that what we are doing on regular terrestrial
radio, and I don't want to say radio is dying,
but It's struggling mightily. Sure. I think is
a fair comment. Everything is moving over to
podcasts and Spotify and everything else. The
accessibility is better and just the control
of catching up on shows. I mean, that's why so
many big... I listen to Q101 in the mornings.
Sure. Yep. And they've got this show, Brian and
Kenzie. It's it's an excellent show. I really
like it. They're fun, but they they have their
own podcast So they take the radio show they
do and all the bits in between that don't make
the air They just turn it into a podcast because
they know that's where they'll hey you miss you
miss the show Okay, you can catch up there or
you know, right extra ad revenue or different
sponsorships Oh for sure that you know you may
not get on radio. So it's just kind of the way
that the content train is moving. Oh, for sure.
Yeah, 100%. And yeah, so that's been amazing.
Making that move and being here and just that
one day just sitting down at a table and being
like... I want to make the Mark Mo Show a podcast.
Yeah. And we literally, it was hilarious because
I remember we sat at a boardroom table and we
were laying it out and we were looking at different
segments. We're like, okay, about how many minutes
do we need for that? Right. How many minutes
do we need for this? And we're breaking all of
this down, knowing we have to be under two hours.
We're like breaking it down and breaking it down
and breaking it down. It was like an hour and
54 minutes or something. And I just started laughing.
I'm like, yeah, that's how tuned in we are. I'm
like, we are absolutely tuned into this. And
it reigns true. Even when our shows run long,
we will place the intermediary music between
segments. It'll come out. It'll be like, oh yeah,
it was an hour 57. And when the shows run short
or we're a little more succinct in the opening
dialogue, it'll be like the 90 minutes we originally
shopped for, like an hour 45. Yeah, exactly.
So it is pretty tuned in. It is tuned in. And
we hope you guys have fun. And if you get triggered
by some political talk and stuff like that, just
move 20 minutes ahead and we've got another hour
and 20 of comedy and silliness and just good
times. All the segments are broken down. You
can use your podcast app and just skip to the
segment you want to hear. Yeah, exactly. We do
that on the backend for your listening pleasure.
Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. You know, we're five
in. What's next? That's a great question. I think
six. Yeah. Jesus God. And after that? Six, seven.
Six, seven. I'm going away now. I lured you into
that one. That was terrible. I had a van with
candy on the side and he just went right for
it. Ooh, candy. Ooh, candy. Huh, well, number
one, well, I guess most important, thanks to
you guys, because we do have listeners. The metrics
say that up to 25 or 26 countries, maybe more
than that now, I don't know, have tuned in a
time or two, and we have people that are, who
did we have last week? You had said we had a
new country. We had listeners in India and UK,
and in previous seasons we've had people pop
in from Curaçao and Malaysia and Ireland. Russia
for a while, but they shut us down. Yeah. Oh,
well. Oh, well. It was nice while we were here.
Yeah. Well, hey, maybe, you know, maybe we're
still the start of the revolution. Who knows?
God bless. Hopefully. God, let's hope. But yeah,
I mean, I just, I just love the fact that there
is, there are people somewhere in this globe
that found us. Right. And listened and were like,
oh, that's funny. You know, and we just appreciate
that. We had a DM one time. from a guy in the
Philippines. He's a military guy. And just found
the show and thought it was funny. Said, thanks
a lot. Made us think of home. That's pretty cool.
That meant so much. Yeah. I'm like, that's the
point. I mean, that's what we're trying to do.
You know, sometimes a little serious, sometimes
funny and silly and just everything in between.
Life. Yeah. That's kind of what this is all about.
Yeah, I just I want to say thanks to all you
guys for for listening in and You know for all
of you folks living in other places in the world
Take us Yeah, go just ship us out there ship
us ship us to you Exactly, and not only will
we do the show for you. We will do the show For
you. Oh What a deal right two for one special.
That's it Indeed. Hmm. Yes quite quite at any
rate. Yes, so This is us five seasons, man. I
love it. It's been great as I said, I love working
with this guy and You know, we're just gonna
see we're gonna see what we maybe some different
things that we'll do moving forward. And just,
time to time, just switch things up because that
keeps it fresh, it keeps it fun. And that's what
we're gonna do. And once again, engagement. So
if there's things you'd like to see us do, shout
at us and be like, hey, that'd be hilarious if
you guys did this. Okay. Right. I mean, we are
that. You know, we're the little monkey with
the tambourine little cymbals. Yeah. Ting, ting,
ting. Dance for me, monkey. OK. Yeah, no problem.
I mean, we're pretty easy that way. We'll bust
some moves. Yeah. Oh, no doubt. I will shake
this ass. I will. It brings all the girls to
the yard. Yeah, that's what they say. So I've
been told. Yeah. So I've been told. So the people
tell me. Oh, god. We need to be put away. I need
to be put down. Yeah, just put me down. Old Yeller
style. Anyway, we're going to take a little break,
and we're going to come back with a little Carpe
Diem for you. All right, we are back, everybody,
and it is time for Carpe Diem. That is our segment
where you send us some messages and we read them
on the air. And if they are in the form of a
question, you just might be playing Jeopardy.
But seriously, I thought if they were in the
form of an answer. Because then you get the answer
and then you have to ask Trebek the question
rest his soul. Oh Well, not to not to poke a
hole in your In your segment intro, but I'm pretty
sure Jeopardy. You didn't poke a hole you sank
my battleship Jeopardy gives you the answer what
you did Yeah, they well you get the I god damn
it you get that right Like they give you the
answer like oh, this is this is the boat that
had all of its things replaced and Philosophers
always ask if it's the same boat and then you
ask is that the ship of Theseus? Right Okay,
because you answer with a question you answer
that you answer the answer with a question Why
do they have to be so difficult? Right because
you can't just say the ship of Theseus because
you didn't ask the question What is mm -hmm who
is exactly? Whatever. Anyway, Carpe Diem's is
not that. You give us a question, and we may,
can, could answer it. You sank my battleship.
Just at the bottom of the ocean, man. It's because
the secret is you put the tiny patrol boat on
like A1 and A2, and no one guesses those. And
no one guesses those, right? Well, low -key I'm
gonna tell you exactly what I do, because I don't
play the game anymore, so I will share my strategic...
Bit here on battleship. I group all my ships
together in a corner Yeah, all of them just group
them like they're sitting there having a powwow
Boop all there and then people are guessing all
over the board and like miss miss miss miss miss
miss now even if they come down to a certain
section and They're like hit chances are they're
gonna hit one boat Then they're going to hit
a different boat. And then they're going to hit
a different boat. They're going to be like, Jesus
Christ, I've hit this thing four times. They
didn't sink his battleship yet? What the hell?
Yeah, what the hell? It's shaped like a cube.
What is going on? Yeah, so that's my s - I do
the same thing, I'll group them all in one of
the corners, but I do take the tiny patrol boat,
the two -hitter, and I'll hide it somewhere else.
So if they find the corner, they're like, oh,
I see what you did, you put them all in the corner,
they never get the patrol boat. Right. Because
that's on like H8, you know? Yeah, you just put
it on the opposite side. Yeah, that's a good
strategy too, for sure. Anyway. Anywho, oh yeah,
Carp IDM's. God damn it. Okay. Did you guys tune
in for Battleship Tips? Yeah, I think that's
what they really were looking for. Yeah, question
number one. How do I win a battleship? Right,
exactly. So anyway, here we go. I have some DMs
from you beautiful people. So let's start out
with Jayla Cakesy. Jayla Cakesy? Jayla Cakesy.
Great name. Her comment, moving to Indiana was
a terrible decision. Like, why did I do that?
Hey man, depends where you moved from. If you
moved from Chicago, you did it because it's cheaper
over here. It's money. It's money. If you moved
from anywhere else, I don't know why you would
do that to yourself. I question your logic. I
question your being. Yeah. Aside from the Chicagoland
part of Indiana, Indiana stands as a task, right,
for most people? Sure. It's just a place you
go through to get to where you need to be. You
drive through Indiana to get to Chicago. You
drive through Indiana to get to Cincinnati, you
know That's right. So I don't know J J J J cakes.
Yeah, JC JC cakes. What is the word their name?
Jayla? Casey? That's right. Yeah, the next one
is from Julia princess There's a lot of E's and
S's. A lot of E's and S's, okay. What is it called
when you're proud to be from Chicago but embarrassed
to be from America? Oh, a Chicagoan. Just a Chicagoan.
Yeah. Yeah, that's why in so many dystopian novels,
like Chicago is like always left standing. Right.
Because they just know that even though Chicagoans
have that Midwestern folksy vibe a little bit,
we're also hard as fuck. Yeah. And we'll be like,
no. We're hardened by the winters. Oh, yeah,
I think so. I think the winter has a lot to do
with it. I think our blue collar background has
a lot to do with it. And yeah, we don't care.
Yeah, Chicagoan by heart, American only by law.
Well put. Well put. The next one is from Sarah
Margaret Eats. OK. And hers is, what's the most
underrated fast food chain? Ooh, underrated fast
food chain. Yeah. Good question. I will say,
I'll say Culver's. I'll say Culver's, and Culver's
is a Midwest chain. So you'll find them - Largely,
yeah. Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana.
Mostly in the Midwest, they're fairly contained.
Highly underrated though. I think the food quality
is excellent. I think the burgers are great I've
never had bad service in a Culver's, you know,
yeah all the employees are just at the very worst
content Yes, you know, whereas if you go into
a McDonald's or God forbid a Burger King Everyone
looks like I want to kill themselves for sure,
you know, yeah So I think Culver's has got to
be that that most underrated one because they're
In my opinion, I think they're just excellent.
Yeah. And the fact that they've stayed contained
in the Midwest is kind of baffling to me. I'd
rank the burger above Wendy's. I'd probably rank
that one of the best fast food burgers. Yeah.
Honestly. In my head, I'm trying to think of
what else I would put above it. I can't think
of anything off the top of my head. Maybe five
guys, but you're going to spend twice as much
at five guys than Culver's. That's true. That's
a good point. God, I don't know. Underrated.
The Culver's was a good one. Yeah. I would...
You could argue DQ for the Chicken Sammies. You
could. And Chicky Tendies. Yeah, those are good
with that white gravy. The Dairy Queen burgers
are not very good, though. No, they're not. They
put that weird artificial smoke -flavoring shit
that Burger King uses in there. I'm like, why
just make a good burger, dude? It's just beef.
You know, I'm gonna go out on a limb, and there's...
There's not many of these left and I don't know
if underrated is a is a right term because I
think one of these actually does make a lot of
money so Maybe that's not the right way. But
like I was thinking hearties. Oh the hearties
Yeah, because like you get it and it's like there's
rarely people there But like you get the food
and then you're like, damn, this is really good.
Why there are no people there. Yeah So I would
probably put hearties up there I would, oh god,
the other one just left my head. Checkers Rally's
is always good. That's, thank you. That's the
one that just left my head. Yeah, and those clothes
and stuff, but those fries are great. The fries
are great. The good fries, and like that spicy
chicken sandwich is really good. So yeah, like
that's some good stuff too. Harbys and Checkers
just have the best fries. Yeah. Yeah. And the
only one I'm going to bring up, and I don't think
it's underrated as much as that it's just growing.
It's just growing now. Yeah. And we used to hit
it when we would take road trips down south because
that's where they were from. But now it's expanded.
Raising Canes. Oh, yeah. And they don't have
a vast menu. They do chicken. They do chicken.
That's what they do. Yeah. They're not trying
to be anything else. And their chicken fingers
are phenomenal. They give you that big chunk
of Texas toast with it. And whatever that sauce
is that they make. Ugh. Pretty crazy. So good.
So yeah, maybe I'd say those. Yeah, that's fair
to say. Yeah. Let's see what else we got here.
This is from Sharon Renee Best. Announcement.
We no longer want him impeached. We want him
arrested. Thank you for your attention to this
matter. I love how you can tell who they're talking
about. You don't even need to name them. I agree.
Yeah. I agree. I mean, if you're a pedophile,
you belong in jail. or under the ground, allegedly.
People say. People say. That's what the people
tell me. When you abuse a 13 -year -old girl
and punch her in the face, it's like, yeah, you
need to go away. Yeah. Forever. Yeah. You need
to be buried under the prison. Right. Yeah, I
agree with that. My last one is from our friend
at stonerstanley420. Alan and Momo are in the
house. I mean, I guessing. Left the dollar place.
Walking sucks, I will smoke now. Oh, man. I love
his sentences being so succinct. They really
are. It's just like, get the message across.
This is what I'm doing. Just him trying to stay
on point sometimes is hilarious. Well, you're
right. We're in the house. We're in the... We
are in the house. We're in the A &M Studios room
of the house, the aforementioned house. Glad
he found his way out of the dollar place. I was
starting to think he would be forever lost. Right.
I'm glad wherever he's walking. He's got service
to check in still correct kind of promising that
is promising Yeah, that's it for me. So that's
my carpet EMS. What do you got? I got some here.
I got one from drippy Gunther Yeah, what's a
big lie that people still tend to believe? Oh
Wow that Donald Trump wants to make America great
sorry that's sorry not sorry yeah the first one
that came to my mind especially in this dogshit
excuse of capitalism is that hard work will get
you anywhere it does not it just doesn't doesn't
it doesn't it's you were either born rich you
had rich friends or you got lucky a lot of times
in a row yeah that's it That's the only way you
succeed in this corporate oligarchy that we have.
Hard work does not get you anywhere because people
who are working at the Dollar Tree and then midnight
at the McDonald's are working their asses off
and barely making ends meet. So hard work does
not get you anywhere. And it's just the whole
class solidarity thing. We were just talking
about people. That's the big lie. That is a big
lie. I got a DM here from, hmm, quite. Oh, no.
What do some people do in public that really
annoys you? I will say talking loudly on their
cell phone. That's the first thing that came
to my mind, too. And not so much just out in
the open. If it's just out in the open, maybe
they're 50 yards from me. That's not going to
bug me so much. But it's like when you're...
in the coffee shop and it's kind of crowded and
whatever and the dude's on the phone right in
front of you and he's about to get in line and
have to pick the coffee that he wants which he
hasn't done yet because he's on the phone right
talking to his proctologist about his nasty asshole
and he's sitting there and he's talking loudly
and you're just sitting there going no no guy
no right this is not how we communicate that
conversation couldn't wait five minutes until
you get your super sugar bomb latte thing right
come on man yeah Or especially, and especially,
the people who do speakerphone in public. Like,
speakerphone on a train, or in the fucking DMV.
It's like, dude, no. Yeah, no way. You're irritating
and bothering the people around you. You're oversharing
whatever you guys are talking about. The person
on the other line probably has an expectation
of privacy that this is not being aired throughout
the DMV lobby. It's just so unkind. and just
reckless behavior in public. I have another one
too. And the other one that I have is for when
you do nice things for people. Just nothing out
of like the ordinary or nothing that is very
like taxing on you to do. We're talking things
as simple as like holding a door for someone
or like getting to a stop sign and waving someone
on. Be like, yeah, come on in. And nobody waves.
Nobody waves anymore. It's like no one gives
tuition. So I'm to the point now where I'm just
like, nope, mm -mm, no more. I'm gonna go. And
then they can give me dirty looks and I'll be
like, nope, you weren't gonna wave. Right. You
weren't gonna wave, so peace out. Peace out,
Girl Scout. Yeah, at some point it leaves you
jaded. It really does, man. Like the people you
hold the door for and like, it's not an obligation
that I hold this door open. The same way it's
not an obligation that you say thanks. Correct.
But I still did it. Correct. So, whether or not
you say thank you, I still know in my heart and
soul, I did something cool today. You know, I
held a door open, or, you know, I let someone
into traffic where they would have been fucked
off, else, like, in any other situation. But,
yeah, it's just like, I don't know, it's so simple.
To just like, to give a wave, or, oh, thanks,
man. Like, it's, I don't know. It's low -hanging
fruit. It's easy stuff. It's not constant. I've
got like a 50 -50 rate of like people being kind
or people just fully ignoring like tiny little
gestures like that. And I'm not doing the gesture
to get a thank you. I'm doing it because I would
hope someone else would do that for me. Correct.
You know. But I do have a different experience,
especially with the driving ones, of driving
big semi trucks. Because if I have to make a
wide right turn, You know it's it's you can't
get on the inside of me get right you can't you
can't be on the inside of me sometimes especially
if I'm in a city like I was just Especially older
cities with narrow roads. I literally might have
to make a right turn from the oncoming left lane
curve into the Next oncoming left lane. Just
to get into the right lane without hitting a
curb or a light pole. Right. And that takes some
awareness of the drivers around me and some kindness
of the drivers to leave me room. Right. So like
if I'm the car on that one oncoming lane and
I see you trying to make that turn, I look behind
me, there's nobody behind me, I go, oh shit,
yeah, let me back up, brother. Right. You know,
and I'll move back 20 feet, give you that room
to get your truck on the right side of the road.
Right. And then you give that person a wave.
Thanks, dude. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah,
there's no doubt. I love, especially truckers,
I love it when you're going down the highway
and they're going the opposite way and they give
those little boop boop, the little flash of the
lights, letting you know there's a cop ahead.
There's a cop ahead. I was like, oh, thank you,
brother. My man. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. or
if I'm on a crowded highway and I see like a
truck trying like hell to get over and I will
slow that down so they can get over and then
they boop boop they tap the brakes like thanks
dude yeah right I mean that's because you got
to be aware that's 60 feet of vehicle right I
mean your car is eight feet long they think there's
any kind of congestion it's just a bear to get
over just gotta be yeah and typically people
will understand okay it's a big truck they gotta
get over yeah It's not like they're cutting you
off. Average Chicagoan cough -cough. True. Oh,
yeah. That's very true. The final DM I received,
an old viewer, CrippyGru, checking in. Cripp.
If you woke up to $1 million in your bank account,
what are the first three things you'd do? Pay
off my personal debts. Let's see. Move into a
new apartment. Three. Go away for a week somewhere
and just get away just de -stress and it's funny
too because a lot of times like you're out of
work, right? And it's like the weeks turn into
months and whatever and it's just it sucks, you
know But then like you try to convince people
like yeah if I had that million dollars Getting
away for a week somewhere is what I'm going to
do. You've been off work. You've been off work.
I'm not sitting in a lounge chair eating bonbons.
Right. You know, it's like when people are out
of work, it sucks and it's stressful. Yeah. So
that means would I like to de -stress for a week
and go sit on a beach or just go to Vegas and
just drink and party and have fun and just just
get away from shit for a week? The answer is
yeah. Right. 100%. Yeah. I think first thing
I would do Oh, man. New car. New car. Mine is
dying. It's dying a slow death. Definitely on
its deathbed. Which, to be fair, it's a 17 -year
-old car, and it's got almost 250k miles on it.
It's a trooper. So it's a trooper, but it is
dying. So new car, numero uno. There's a lot
I have to fix in this house. So I'd probably
like kitchen renovation and new electric panel
and all that. The third thing, as tempting as
a vacation might be, I'd probably just put it
away. Invest some of it? Yeah, yeah. Invest it
in content creation and savings and whatever
else. That's cool. Just because I don't have
the PTO for a vacation, so I'm kind of stuck.
That's fair. And a million's not enough to leave
the job. Exactly, exactly. So that'd be my three.
No, that's good. And how nice a million dollars
would be. Oh my god. Shit. Well, that's Carpe
Diem for this week. Please send us your Carpe
Diem to the Mark Mo Show. We have a page, Facebook
page, Maloney Media on Instagram, Hayden Maloney,
Mark Maloney on most socials. You can find us,
so shoot us a DM. We'll read it on the air. Maybe.
Yeah, maybe. Probably, but still maybe. Right,
the caveat is maybe. I think that is fair. That
is definitely fair. All right. Let's do a little
frozen guy review. Now, I don't get this one
as often because they're usually not on sale.
So I'm on sale. I was so excited. I wanted to
buy all of them. Then I'm like, OK, I'm just,
you know, I'm not living that high life to be
able to buy five frozen meals. So I was like,
OK, I'll just have to pick one. So I went and
got Amy's. which is a great brand, and it was
Amy's Cheddar Pasta Bake. So frickin' good. Yeah?
Oh, it's excellent. Big corkscrew pasta, and
the cheese is so good. Corkscrew holds the sauce
nicely. It does. It really does. And they have
the little bread crumble on the top of it too.
Oh, nice. Which is always nice. Did it stay nice
and crumbly? That's a great question. I often
find... That the crumble some of it stays on
that little plastic packaging that the bowl comes
in so some of it kind of stays on that And then
I find out when I put it in the microwave I heat
it up because the heating instructions very simple
on that way You don't have to cut any film and
stir it and do all that kind of stuff. Yeah,
you literally just put it in five minutes take
it out of the plastic and Let it cool down for
a minute or two and then you eat it. Okay, very
simple stuff But I find that half of the crumblies
end up on the bottom of the bowl. And I don't
know how they end up there. And they just get
stopped up. Yeah. Yeah. So that isn't great.
But when they're in the bowl, very good. I think
it's enough food for a lunch, for sure. $6 is
the price point, so it's a little bit higher
on the frozen food scale. Still less than your
average shipped Burger King or McDonald's or
anything like that. But at any rate, yeah, so
it was a really good meal, good quantity, quality
was excellent. Did I get it into the nights?
That was the question. Right. And the answer
is not quite. 8 .5 is where I went with Amy's.
Still solid. But very good. Yeah. Still probably,
for me, puts it in the top 10 % or 15 % of the
frozen meals. Correct me if I'm wrong. Are those
Amy's organic meals? They are. Oh, OK. Yeah.
So they're a little bit healthier for you than
your average frozen meal. So from the quality
standpoint, from what you're paying for, but
you're paying for some better food. it kind of
all comes out in the wash. Yeah. So it's 8 .5.
That's solid. Yeah, it's definitely good. So
check out my Frozen Guy reviews here. One of
these days I will get around making an Excel
sheet and putting everything graded on there
and then maybe release that at some point. Before
we take our next break, we're on to the other
foods. That's where Aidan scours the globe. Yes,
little Globy's got. It's really cute. He scours
it for hours sometimes. It's amazing. I just
get lost in the sauce. I would too. Oh man. Anyway.
Anyway. Anyway, he finds foods from other places.
Sometimes from here, most times not. And they're
just, they're disgusting. They're gross. They're
the worst, most despicable thing ever. But he
finds them. He lets you know about them. Yes.
Yes, I do and this one comes from our good friends
in Greenland a sovereign state the sovereign
state of Greenland Greenland the sovereign state
of Greenland a seagull wine Oh Seagull wine a
traditional albeit infamous Inuit concoction
from the Arctic Circle specifically Greenland
the sovereign nation of Greenland made by placing
a dead seagull into a bottle of water and allowing
it to ferment in direct sunlight. Oh, no. I just.
Maybe they shouldn't be there on their own. Maybe
they need help. They need. They might need help.
They need Denmark to step back in and be like
fellas. Yeah. Fellas, come on now. Let's figure
this out. Quote. Although Denmark's been an offender,
too. Well, yeah, this is true. It is considered
a potent. Heady alcoholic beverage often described
as highly unconventional. Well, no shit with
a reputation for being exceptionally strong The
preparation of course is as simple as putting
it a freshly deceased seagull Typically stuffed
into a container like a glass bottle and then
just filled with water and left to ferment in
the Sun So it's like you ever heard of Sun tea?
Yes. Where you just, you know, the tea bags and
let it waddle through the sun. This is gulty.
Yeah, it's just, it's just gulty. Which essentially
turns it into wine. Oh my god. Because of the
whole rotting seagull part of it. Oh god, god.
Um, the scent and taste, very simply, quote,
it is known for producing a musky and ammoniacal
odor. Oh, why? Oh man, I mean, there's better
ways to get your buzz on, dude. You don't have
to drink seagull. But yeah, apparently it's a
quote -unquote extreme Inuit method of preservation,
and it's just not good. It's just not good. It's
not how I would ferment things. Not that I am
the judge, jury, and executioner of how you should
or shouldn't ferment. But dead seagull in the
water, in the jar, in the sun? Yeah. Yeah. You
know what? Not for me. No. It's just not for
me. Yeah. In my opinion. I get it. We'll seagull
wine for you. That's, ooh, god. Just for you,
actually. Yeah, thanks. You're welcome. That's
amazing. Well, I made it. Oh, did you now? Are
you sure it's a seagull? No. Because I heard
pigeon wine is awesome. Well, yeah, you take
the pigeon and you put it in the rat milk. And
then you stick it under your furnace for five
years. Oh, God. Yeah, see, that's where I mess
it up. I always bury it in the arm. Yeah, exactly.
And then you take it out from under the furnace
and swiftly die of botulism. Aw. I know. That's
so nice. What a way to go. God, what a way to
go. He died just as he lived. Drinking pigeon
rat wine. Oh, God. That's, I'm actually gonna
drink some right now. I'm gonna do that. Goodbye.
All right, we are back everybody, and it is time
for our feature segment, You Just Made the List.
And that's basically what it is. We make a list
each and every week. Could be basically anything.
10 through 2 with our big number 1 reveal. And
then I've consulted the rule books. Here are
the rules we have to follow. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. The stipulations. Well? All the red tape.
Yeah, all the red tape. According to section
5, line 4, subsection B, there are no rules.
Ooh, let's go. How about that? Let's go. Surprised
they had to go to subsection B to say that, but...
It's still appreciated. You know, I don't make
the rules. I just follow them. This is true.
We do follow them very closely. Indeed we do.
So this week, our top 10 list, canned beverages.
Top 10 canned beverages. Can go a lot of ways
with that. Any beverage you can fit in a can.
That's right. Canned rat milk. Can that fit in
it? Do they make it? Ooh, yum. Yeah, we haven't
done that. We did research on rat milk. We did
was that in season 5 or was that 4? That feels
recent. Feels a little more recent. I wanna say
beginning of season 5 maybe. So is season 5.
The rat milk debacle. Season of the rat milk.
Yeah. We're like, well they have babies. Does
that mean they have nipples? Does that mean those
nipples have milk? They are mammals. So because
there's all these crazy types of milk, and we
have rat milk. Right. And yes, they do have rat
milk. They do. It's not meant for human consumption.
It is not. But it could be. Could be. Boy, that'd
be a challenge, right? Get somebody on a podcast
to drink a cup of rat milk. Right. God they die
right on air man. I do it would you do it? I'd
be we're already the rat milk guys. We are the
rat milk I have to go through the proponents
of rat milk exactly the biggest supporters. Yes
legalize rat milk I go to my local coffee shop,
and they're like whole milk, and I'm like do
you have rat milk rat milk Yeah, please please.
Oh, we've got soy. No. I'll go with the rat the
rat milk, please I'm sorry. Did I stutter yeah,
right? So anyway, top 10, what do you got? Top
10 canned beverages of all time. I'll run my
10 through 2. Number 10, Zero Sugar A &W Root
Beer. Oh, good one. It is, in my opinion, the
greatest form of root beer. It's so tasty. And
usually like with zero sugar or diet versions
of sodas, you can kind of taste the weird aspartame
sucralose kind of chemical -iness. Yeah. It does
not. It's hidden by the wonderful flavors of
root beer. That's pretty amazing. It is fantastic.
I'm not a huge soda guy, right? I know that.
Yeah, I'm not a soda drinker. It's either water,
coffee, or sparkling water, or energy drinks
for me. But yeah, that is a soda I had to put
in the top 10 because it is fantastic. Number
nine, Great Lakes Barrel Aged Christmas Ale.
It is fantastic. Wow. the best Christmas beer
I have ever had, and easily in my top ten canned
beverages. Number eight, the Arizona RX Energy
Tonic. If you've ever tried that. I have not.
Most places still have them for 99 cents. Some
of the shittier places charge like $1 .50 now,
which is kind of whack, but it is fantastic.
It's like an herbal tea, herbal tea energy drink.
essentially. Okay. And it's really good. It is
very, very good. And for being one dollar, it's
hard to beat. No doubt. Number seven, the Trader
Joe's Pineapple Hard Cider. I'm a huge pineapple
guy. I do enjoy my ciders, even though some of
them can get pretty sweet. This one was not overly
sweet. And it's fantastic. We for a segment coming
up later, our official beer review, we use the
untapped app. to rank beers and ciders and malt
beverages and how much we enjoy them. I had tried
that one, I think, a year ago when I first tried
it. I gave it a 475 out of five. It is fantastic.
Number seven, the Revolution Brewing Maple Jacket
Barley Wine Ale. It is thick, it's heavy, it's
wintery. The reason we haven't tried it on the
mark mo show is because it's very expensive Yeah,
yeah a six pack of 12 ounce cans run something
like 20 or 30 dollars damn But goddamn is it
good? Yeah, yeah, really good. I don't remember
if it's limited run or not They may have already
went through the run. Yeah, but it was it's fantastic
number five the cherry lime La Croix The best
sparkling water I've ever had. And I love sparkling
water, but that is far and away the best one.
It comes in the slim cans because it's special
and cool. It's fancy, but it is absolutely wonderful.
Number four, not your father's root beer. The
better version of root beer. Yeah, yeah. Making
root beer floats with that is a dream come true,
quite honestly. Number three, the New Belgium
Voodoo Ranger Juice Force. IPA. I'm a big IPA
guy and I think that's probably my favorite IPA
of all time. Is it? Absolutely. Yeah. And number
two on my list, Mountain Dew Kickstart Pineapple
Orange Mango energy drink. Oh, energy drink,
yep. Yep. Yeah, I never knew until probably in
the last year or so that Mountain Dew makes an
energy drink called Kickstart and I tried, like
I... That's the thing when I get energy drinks,
I don't want them to be super sugar heavy. Yeah.
Because I'm not really a huge sugar guy anyway.
But yeah, I looked at it and it's like 10 grams
of sugar for the whole thing. Where like a typical
can of Mountain Dew is like 50. Yeah. I was like,
oh, that's not so bad. And I tried it and it's
one of the most wonderful canned beverages to
grace my tongue. Wow. Yeah. Well put. Absolutely.
Almost also a big pineapple guy should have said
that yeah not on your pizza though No, no that
that'll get your pineapple stay sweet not savory
Yep, yeah That was number two. Yeah. Mm -hmm.
All right my top ten list number ten bush light
because of the cheaper beers That one does not
offend my palate as much and when it's cold,
it's actually not too bad. Sure. And you also
found the trick of you can put like a lime and
an orange in there. Yep. Yeah, you get a fruity
bush. Fruity bush. That's our favorite thing.
Indeed. Love a fruity bush. Number nine, modello.
Big modello guy. Yeah, you know, a little lemon
in there. Modelo is pretty good. Negra Modelo
is fantastic. Yeah, Negra Nello is pretty good.
Yeah, the amber version, I think. Yeah, amber
is cute. Anyway, yeah, I don't even know her,
really, that much. Amber, I hardly know her.
Hey -o, that's back to the list. Anyway, number
eight core is light. Number seven, bang, purple
haze. If you like, grape. Grape is fantastic.
That that is a great underrated fruit flavor.
Oh, I agree underrated fruit as well. I like
fruit Oh most fruits. I don't like I like their
flavoring. I like their flavoring. I don't like
to eat them. Yeah Grapes are one of them. Like
you put them in your mouth and I feel like why
am I eating an eyeball? It's nature's gusher.
It is nature's gusher Yeah, like you bite into
it and it's just like a big fat piece of boba
in your mouth. I'm like ah No, the reason I don't
drink boba The same reason I don't eat grapes.
Don't eat grapes, sure. Those bang energy drinks,
those are like popping, man. That's like 300
mils of caffeine in there. Those get you going.
Almost enough for me. Yeah, exactly. Almost enough
for me. I literally need an injection of caffeine
to keep moving every day. Yeah. I don't know
how I do it. Number six, Guinness. Oh, there
you go. Number six, Guinness. Aiden has perfected
the can pour. The can pour of Guinness I have
down to a science. That is fair. I agree. It's
just fantastic. Now, out the bottle, it's fine.
It's good. It's still Guinness. But the can,
you get the little... Better than the can. You
get the little ball of nitrogen in there. Yes.
Similarly to how it's nitrogenated out of the
keg as well. Right. Yep. Yeah. Number five, Diet
Dr. Pepper. God, I love Dr. Pepper too. Yeah.
It's so good. I don't know what the 23 flavors
are. I don't want to know. Yeah, sometimes a
mystery is best left unsolved. Right. Yep. So
it's like, die Dr. Pepper, you want to keep those
23 to yourself. Feel free. You know, the Colonel,
you got all your herbs and spices. You just do,
you do you boo. I don't need to try to copy you.
Yeah. And there's like people online who are
like, oh, well, I know what the 11 herbs and
spices are. And I just, I block them immediately.
Yeah. I'm like, how dare you? Wow. Yeah. Great
for you. Yeah. What would the Colonel think?
Oh, Colonel's gonna... He's gonna be quite cross.
He is going to be cross. He's gonna be crisscross.
Whoa, applesauce. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's not where
I wanted that to go. Were you thinking of the
rap artists? I was thinking of the rap artists.
And then you said applesauce, and I'm like, oh.
Oh, no, his white is showing. Yeah. Yep, he went
from pineapple to applesauce and just like all
his street credit is gone. Pineapple apple pen
or whatever. I never had street credit. You're
like, I never had street credit. Are you kidding
me? I have a reputation below zero. Below zero,
that's fair. Number four, Miller Lite. Number
three, Miller High Life. Ooh, there you go. And
number two. Champagne of beers. It is a champagne
of beers. Number two, Diet Pepsi. Big Diet Pepsi
guy over there. Huge, huge. And you know, I want
to give a shout out to Diet Coke, but only. the
Diet Coke at McDonald's. Yeah, they do it different
somehow. They do. They put crack in it. I don't
know what they do. Yeah, they put the cocaine
back in Diet Coke, is what they do. Allegedly,
I hear. Thank you? Yeah. So thank you is an order,
I guess. All right, we're on to number one. Numero
uno, best can beverage of all time, in my humble
opinion. The Monster Zero Ultra, the white can.
The Monster White can. It's fantastic. It's got
this, like, tropical -y, citrus -y kind of flavor
to it, where your tongue is kind of confused.
It's like, is that pineapple? Is there lime in
there? I don't know, papaya or guava? Like, what's
going on? And it doesn't matter. It's one of
the greatest energy drinks I've ever had. And
the only reason I don't get it more is because
it's a little too pricey for my taste. So I just
buy energy drinks from Oldie, because they're
almost as good. And, like, one third of the cost.
Well, but that is that's the best can beverage
in my opinion is is the white monster can It's
just so good and it gets okay gets the heart
pumping. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Um, all right,
so mine to no surprise PBR 16 ounce can the peber
Peber yeah, there's there's a reason I walk into
most bars and they just put it in front of me
pint of peber ready to go Yeah, that's the way
to go. Yeah. And there's very, that's something
I've noticed too, is there's very few places
that tap a PBR keg. They just have pints of PBR
cans. That's true. Which is fine. I mean, PBR
is PBR. Yeah. The PBR remains good. But I like
the 16 ounce can more than the draft. Oh, is
that right? Way more. Like I actually do not
like the draft. What about it do you think changes?
I don't know. The flavor profile is just different.
Concentration of bubbles or maybe drinking it
out of glass is different. Yeah, there's there's
one bar in particular in town and that I'll get
the draft room a lot because they just happen
to have draft specials for the domestics. And
usually it's PBR old style or light. OK. And
I will take the light or the old style before
I will take the PBR. I just don't like it. And
maybe it's their tap. I don't know. Maybe if
I tried another place, it might be different.
But I'm not a fan. Interesting how that works.
But I love it out of the can. Fancy that. Fancy
that. You always learn something new. Just like
the Guinness in the can versus Guinness in the
bottle. Yeah, this is true. This is true. It's
two different drinks, in my opinion. I agree.
Fully agree. Well, if you have any canned beverages
that we didn't mention that you love... And so
we were definitely caffeine and beer heavy. Oh,
very much so. But that's most of the good canned
beverages. Maybe Reginald Crotchbottom is sitting
there going, you know, I do happen to like the
tomato, you know, tomato juice in the can. I
drink caper brine out of a can. I'm Reginald.
Did they mention rat milk? Yes, we did. We did.
We did. We can't not mention it. We do not want
to disappoint. Yes. That is for sure. All right.
This is where Aiden goes down the Reddit rabbit
hole. He does this every week. And he makes it
out most times. Sometimes we have to send a rescue
party. This is true. But he's here, which means
he made it out. So what did you find down the
Reddit rabbit hole? I found an interesting article
here. annual theft losses in the United States.
And this comes from the FBI uniform crime reporting
and this statistic is accurate of 2012 reporting
annual theft losses in the United States. And
I found this very interesting. So these types
of theft robbery is point three four billion
dollars annually. Wow. in the United States.
Auto theft. Grand theft auto, if you will. 3
.8 billion dollars. Yep, and that's just from
my gameplay alone. Exactly. Burglary in general,
kind of a wide term. 4 .10 billion dollars in
the U .S. annually. Wow. Mind you, these statistics
are a decade old. Decade and change old So these
numbers are probably a little more inflated,
but this is just the most accurate graph I could
get recently larceny five point three billion
dollars yearly Thefted in the u .s. Here's where
it gets crazy those numbers. I just mentioned
Yeah, are about 25 percent of this graph. Oh,
no the other 75 % Yeah, are some form of wage
theft Really? Approximately 75 % of theft yearly
in the United States is wage theft from the working
class. Is that not fucking crazy? That's unbelievable.
Off the clock violations. Oh. $3 .2 billion every
year. Wow. Rest break violations. $4 billion
every year. Overtime violations. $8 .8 billion
every year. No. The largest portion of this pie
graph, about one third of it. Minimum wage violations.
$23 .2 billion. Oh, that's disgusting. Every
year in the United States. Theft in this country.
Three quarters of theft in this country are wage
violations. That's gross. That's so gross. Wage
theft. God. How foul is that? That's foul. I
mean, that's... And what is the fucking billionaire
-owned media run? Oh, a store got robbed recently.
Oh, the 7 -Eleven got held up. They're stealing
Kia's and Hyundai's. They're reporting on the
25 % of this graph that affects them. Good lord.
75 % of theft losses in the U .S. are wage theft
violations. Interesting how those don't get reported.
Mm -hmm. Very interesting. That's what I found
going down the red rabbit hole, and it just kind
of made me mad. Yeah, wow. Just kind of made
me mad. That, uh... Three fucking quarters. God.
That's unreal. I would have never guessed that.
Yep. If I had ten guesses, I wouldn't have guessed
it. That's unbelievable. Yeah, I found that insane.
That is insane. Wow. Straight from the FBI's
mouth. Yeah. Well... From 2012 so it's oh so
reputable yeah reputable agency at that yeah
exactly got it All right before we take our final
break while you were sleeping so Aidan takes
a look at things like movies and TV shows and
and youtubers and various other things in pop
culture the things that kind of Just kind of
slid under yeah under the radar, but Aidan finds
him he finds him, and he says hey you you yeah
you No, really. I'll wait a minute. Go to a mirror.
Yeah. It's cool. You! Did you get there? You!
Or just like selfie mode on your phone. Just
selfie mode, whatever. Unless you're driving,
in which case you got the rear view mirror. Just
a thought. Or you could just pop on your phone
and just cause death and mayhem. Most people
do. Yeah, indeed they do. Is what I hear. That's
what I hear. So, for everybody, except for Don
who just looked at his phone while he was driving
and... Passed away tragically. Killed a school
bus full of nuns. So, what did we miss? You guys
missed a YouTube video. Now, I think I've talked
about this YouTuber before. They are Drew Gooden.
Excellent, excellent YouTuber. This dude goes
back to the Vine days of social media and then
transitioned over to YouTube. And this YouTube
video is called Greed is Destroying the World.
Greed? Greed. Now, you can probably look it up
and find it by typing, Greed is destroying the
world, Drew Gooden, and you will find it. It's
an amazing video. It's just over 30 minutes long,
so you could probably watch it during your lunch
break, if you get one, which most of us don't.
He's not a political commentary guy. He's just
a commentary YouTube. He'll talk about... sports
media or silly bad Christmas movies and just
funny things like that. And out of the blue,
in winter of 2025, he drops this video, Greatest
Destroying the World, probably one of the best
researched and presented videos on how billionaires
and corporations are destroying the earth and
societies we know it. Right. this dude that talks
about bad Christmas movies just woke up one day.
Now granted, not to downplay Drew Gooden, he's
a very intelligent and funny guy, but I was just
kind of flabbergasted at how well presented this
was. And you know me, I've had a handful of YouTubers
before, Vsauce and Veritasium of the science
genre, and I love well presented things. I love
complex topics that are kind of broken down and
put in terms that are... Easier to grasp and
that's exactly what this is. It's not like the
bullshit jargon you hear on CNBC It's not like
all dividends and stock breakdowns and shit.
No, it's it's put Not to dumb it down. It's put
in Lehman's terms with Overwhelming evidence
to back it up and it's just the best presented
I've ever seen the argument against this weird
destructive corporatist oligarchy we find ourselves
in. And I just recommend everyone go out there
and watch it because it's incredible. It's incredible
and it's not going to take you a lot of time.
It does not beat around the bushes. It's just
like, here's fact, here's why. And it's presented
in a wonderful visual manner that I find very
entrancing to observe. And he sources every source
in his description. In case you're like, I don't
know about that, you can literally click on the
thing and be like, oh, it came from the Department
of Labor. Okay. Right. So I just wanted to shout
that video out. It does have 5 .8 million views.
So it's not to say this went under the radar.
But it's to say that I think it's not reaching
the people who need to hear it the most. The
most. That's fair. And I think that's a really
good look at it. Because 5 .8 million views is
good. Yes. It's very good. Yes. But. You know
when you're a country of what 350 million right
and and this this video not to Glaze it too much,
but in my opinion. It's better presented in research
than most like Netflix documentaries that just
Oh our our biggest presenter. He's never talked
about it before it's just some fucking chode
Right like no this this this is where it's at.
Yeah greed is destroying the world the video
on YouTube you should watch awesome well thank
you for that and we are going to take our final
break maybe a nap maybe something to eat might
go for a walk wash the car do the laundry feed
the hog yeah i'll do that we'll be back All right,
we're back, everybody. Hello. Hola. I am your
host of this wonderful podcast, Mark Maucho.
I'm Mark Maloney along with Aiden Maloney. And
we're in the home stretch. We do a beer review
and then, ahem, world of weird news coming up
as well. But first, let's, let's. chug down some
beverage, and may technically not be beer, but,
uh... Oh, but I think it technically is. Oh,
alright. Inter -sante. Speak that truth. This
is grape. Grape. That's just what it's called.
That's just what it's called. That's just what
it's called. That's just what it's called. That's
just what it's called. That's just what it's
called. It is grape hard seltzer, made by Happy
Dad. Uh, it's... It's a brew, but it's brewed
by I had to do some deep research because on
Untapped which we mentioned earlier It's it's
just an app on your phone that you can use and
rank beers and they know where you had it What
your flavor notes were and all that get in social
circles, and then you know you just share that
information Yeah, yeah, it's fun um and on the
app It'll tell you like oh you drank cold snap
that's made by the Samuel Adams Brewery this
just says contract Brewery Under happy dad. So
they just contracted a brewery and I had to go
to the Green Bay Press Gazette To find out that
it is made in Wisconsin by the minhas brewery
is where they make it All right, that article
is accurate as of 2021 So I'm not sure if that
has changed but that is the most recent thing
I can find out about it. So it's made in Wisconsin.
I believe And it's grape flavor the style guide
they say Happy Dad Grape Hard Seltzer is a true
game -changer refreshment for those seeking crisp,
delightful gluten -free seltzer experience. Unlike
other seltzers, it boasts a gentle level of carbonation
and all -natural flavors to ensure a pure, unaltered,
adulterated taste that leaves no lingering aftertaste.
All -natural grape offers a light and invigorating
sensation with every sip. Whether at a ballgame,
poolside, hitting the beach, enjoying a lakeside
retreat, or simply sharing good times at a barbecue,
this is your idea. companion for those memorable
moments with friends and family. Make Happy Dad
Grape Heart Seltzer your go -to beverage to elevate
any occasion with its fruity and refreshing charm.
Wow, that is something. Now what I did notice
in all those different examples of when and how
you might enjoy a happy dad, I noticed driving
a school bus full of handicapable children up
a mountainside was not one of them, and I'm kind
of insulted by that. That seems like a strange
exemption they made. Don't you think so? Yeah.
We can write to whoever owns the company, which
we kind of discovered might be a very disturbing
person. I'd rather enjoy it. I don't know about
you. Alrighty, we're drinking it out the can
today, enjoying it in the A &M studios, and we'll
give you a ranking on a scale from 0 to 5, and
give you our flavor profile. Grape hard seltzer,
Slantja. Smells incredible. I'm not getting the
hate. I don't understand the hate on this. Not
that they get a lot, but I mean, you see some
of the rankings. It's good. It's clean. It's
not overly grapey. I will say it is more aromatic
than it is flavorful. Yeah. It smells like grape
Kool -Aid. It smells like that classic Concord
grape scent, that grape Kool -Aid flavor, but
it's very light in the mouth. Super. It reminds
me of something. I don't know what it is though.
Ooh, I'll go back in for another sip It smells
amazing Like for example when I gave my review
or actually part of my top 10 list was the bang
Purple haze yeah, that is very grapey. Yes. Yeah
that flavor is full Yeah, that's very grapey.
This is just a hint, but you get it Yes, but
it's just a hint and it's just your palates clean.
This is a very clean drink. You know what the
note I'm getting? That I knew what it was and
it just hit me Greek yogurt. Oh my god. What
there's an I swear to God there's a note of Greek
yogurt in there when it's first on your palate
that kind of Acidic kind of holds your tongue
for a while I swear to God that's in there because
it's it's Concord grape on the nose and it hit
my mouth. Yeah, and I'm like, that's Greek yogurt.
I I like it. I like it. It says happy dad and
I'm happy No false advertising there. I Love
the scent and I too love grape flavored things.
I love grapes. I do yeah I love grapes and I
love grape flavored things as well. They make
a I believe it's a Mountain Dew Kickstart that
that's a grape flavor. Yeah, how many grapes?
Sir, this is a lemonade stand But yeah, this
this is not grape on the mouth like like the
energy drinks or the sodas are yeah Well, yeah,
cuz when you like grape crush very creepy. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah I'm torn on how to rank this honestly
Because when I took that first whiff I was like,
oh this is gonna be good. That's that's Concord
grape Wonder right there and then it hit my tongue
and it's just like it's giving grape flavored
Greek yogurt to me Yeah, I don't I don't get
the Greek yogurt but to be fair I don't think
I've ever eaten grape yogurt or no. Yeah Greek
yogurt. Yeah or grape yogurt for that matter.
Sure Hmm. I swear it's in there Yeah, like I
do get a little bit of flavor on the palate,
but it's not overbearing. It's just kind of there.
It's just kind of grapey, but it's very mild.
It is mild, yeah. I definitely see how you could
pair this with like a hot dog if you're at like
the Cubs game, you know? I have to be honest.
I was also thinking of a pairing. But I was going
to pair it with Tito's vodka. Call me what you
will. This is to be fair, 5 % ABV. So if you
wanted to bump that up to a 10, you could put
two shots of vodka, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug,
glug, glug. Exactly. Why not? Let's get a couple
of shooters at your local store. Yeah, exactly.
I wonder if you could almost pair it. You know
those little pink Whitney? like lemonade, vodkas.
I wonder if that would pair, because I, anytime
I eat Skittles, which is rare, I'm not a big
candy guy, I'm not a big Skittles guy, but anytime
I eat Skittles, if you eat two grape Skittles
paired with one lemon Skittle, the flavor is
incredible. Interesting. So, grape and citrus
do work. Do work together. Yeah. Keep that in
mind. We're gonna have to keep that in mind.
I like it. I like it. I like that it's not overly
gravy. It's just so good on the nose. I'm definitely
going to add aromatic to my flavor profile. I'm
torn on how to rank it. I'm going to be honest.
Really? Yeah. Hmm, very interesting. I was looking
at your flavor profiles like they give you the
top five, but then you can... In the app, you
can kind of go in and there's like 150 other
different. Oh, yeah. Probably even more than
that. So I was going to add crisp because that
was not on one of the top five. Crisp or clean,
yeah. Yeah. So I was going to add that. So it's
an alphabetical order, by the way. Yeah. So I'm
looking at things like creamy, cranberry. Do
you know I'm looking at two words and it says
corn grits. Corn grits. That's hysterical because
I want to know, because somebody created it.
Yeah. Which means there's some beverage out there
that reminds them of corn grits. Corn grits is
such a specific thing. So specific. Now, to be
fair, on this Grape Happy Dad Siltzer, any time
you check into a beer and give it your ranking
and your thoughts on it, It has five flavor profiles,
which I believe are the most selected flavor
profiles, and the five that were given to select
were grapes, sweetener, balanced, creamy, and
butyric. And we had to do some research as to
what butyric means. So I looked at that word.
I'm like, I don't think I've ever seen that word
before. And it's based on butyric acid, which
we did some research and seems that if something
tastes, a drink tastes butyric, it can be acidic
or fatty tasting, which to be fair might be that
Greek yogurt note I'm getting. That you're getting.
Just, yeah, that little bit of acidity in it.
Yeah. Yep. Which is kind of interesting. That
is interesting. Very interesting. I'm torn. I
swear. I love it, and then there's that Greek
yogurt note, and it's like, why is this here?
I'm giving it a 2 .5 out of 5. 2 .5 out of 5.
I am at a 3 .5. I'm at 3 .5. I do like it. I
would definitely have that in the fridge on a
hot day, and I think it'd just be super refreshing.
So yeah, I do like it. And as always, we both
have different palates, and I'm like IPA Belgians
and Stouts, and you're Stouts and Lagers and
Joyer. So take this with a grain of salt. If
you combine our scores, that's an average of
three out of five. So take that how you will.
That's about right. Yeah. That's about right.
And it's funny, because your two and a half,
my three and a half comes out to a three, and
I think the overall ranking was 3 .1. 3 .17,
yeah. So that checks out. I unlocked a badge.
I unlocked free THC seltzers. Wow. Well, you
have fun with that. I can't do it. You can't
do it. I'm not allowed. I'm unemployed. I can
do it till the cows come home. I got a badge
for International Women's Day of 2026. Ooh. Which
is very cool. Untapped says, we're excited to
unveil our annual badge in honor of International
Women's Day, shining a light on the amazing contributions
of women and non -binary individuals within the
craft beer scene and celebrating their creativity,
passion, and dedication. Let's raise our glasses
to the pioneers who forged a path for the next
wave of female femme identifying and non -binary
brewers. Ooh, God bless their souls. Yeah, I
got untapped at home level 12. Oh the big one
too. Yeah, I'm a home drinker. Well sometimes
Sometimes we go where the people are because
they're pretty and they're nice and I like to
drink with them What's wrong with that? Anyway,
crazy because half the time on the Mark Mo show.
You're like, I hate people You know you walk
though you really tow the line life's about balance,
right? Perfectly balanced as all things should
be. Yes, most definitely. I unlock the International
Women's Day. There you go. Yep. We're excited
to unveil our annual badge in honor of International
Women's Day shining a light on the amazing contributions.
I swear I could have just read this. Did you?
Yeah, I did. What the? Were you not there for
that part? I was there for that part. Did you
want me to say it again, or should we just pause
the video? I can go back and play you when I
say all that, or? I'm just going to say it. He
started reading it. I'm like, oh, he's doing
a bit. And then you kept going, and I was like,
oh my god, did he not hear what I said all that?
I did. I did. I didn't realize it until I got
a couple sentences in, and I'm like, oh my god.
To be fair, less than two weeks ago, I got smashed
by a car. This is true. And I landed on my head.
You got the scrambled eggs. So, you know, I'm
not Dementia Don yet, but, you know, I struggle.
Give him a break. I struggle. God damn it. I'm
also Land of the Free Level 15. Did you read
that one? No. No. No, Mark Moe. I did not. Well,
I got it. There you go. Yay. Ah, Jesus Christ.
So what's Land of the Free Level 15? Or were
you not going to read it? I'm not reading it.
No, I'm protesting. No, I'm not reading it. No.
No, I'm mad. Ah, freaking losing it. Absolutely
losing it. This hard seltzer is not enough. Do
we have alcohol? We just need to yeah. Oh my
should brought that Tito's with you Oh my god.
I need an Italian beef and vodka right right
away. Good god, huh? What what are we at now
or fuck? God, we're not done. Okay You announced
the last segment in the opening to this segment.
I did! I know that I got. Oh, okay, you got that
part? That I got. I was just looking at the clock.
Oh, okay. Son of a bi - Anyway. Now it is time
for the world of weird news to close out the
show. Close out everything. Anyway, I'm gonna
read mine because I'm probably gonna have a stroke.
So... This one comes from the Rockingham, North
Carolina County Sheriff's Department announced
on February 20th that it had located a woman
who went missing in Virginia on December 9th
of 2001. Whoa. Michelle Hundley Smith, now 62,
kissed her kids goodnight and left her home to
do some Christmas shopping around 8 .30. She
was not seen again. Yo. Detectives said they
had received new information about her and made
contact with her, but Smith requested that her
whereabouts remain a secret. Yo, what? Whoa.
Wow. She smooched the kids on the forehead and
then bounced. She's like, yeah later later stinkies
I'm done with you dirty diapers and you sick
attitudes. Mama's gone now the Individual that
wrote this article ended the story with Netflix.
Are you getting this? Oh my god Not everyone
needs a documentary not no no I just find it
fascinating that 25 some odd years ago, she checked
out. She checked. She had had enough. And you
know what? That's actually a better ending. You
see these tragic stories sometimes. Like my girlfriend
will fall asleep listening to these true crime
stories. And there's always these really disturbing
ones of mothers who just snap. They just snap
and they kill their children. and the husband
finds the dead kids, and the wife is just like,
I don't know what happened. Right, they play
stupid. Right. And it's just like, I understand
how, like we talk about mental health, mental
wellness all the time on the show, but to just
snap and kill your kids, at least Homegirl was
just like, I think I've had enough. I'm a bounce.
I'm a bounce. I'm a bounce. And you know what?
That might just be the happy ending. It might
be. Because otherwise it could have been a true
crime story. That's right. So bless this woman.
Hopefully her life away from those dastardly
dumb kids. Because I assume they're pieces of
shit. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
That was a joke. I'm not because fuck them kids.
But still. But still. Okay. Get this and I'm
gonna take it from a different perspective Think
of all of the manpower and the hours and the
taxpayer dollars spent to find her. I just bounced
right. She's like I'm out She could have left
a note. Don't look for me. Don't call the cops
about yeah, this is true But then again if I
don't know it's so it's so tough because if someone
wants to disappear and you leave a breadcrumb
I mean you can hope that the husband or the children
won't go out and search for her But if she if
she just wanted to disappear disappear, right?
Maybe you just you just bounce and you go work
in some small town in South Dakota and you're
like You'd change your name right because I mean
witness protection program is not super easy
to get into Well, yeah, I mean it's not but in
the same sense to imagine imagine all the interviews
that that Dad had to sit through with the police
and be like, where's your wife? Well, I came
here to find that out. Where were you at 1137?
Right, because the spouse is the first suspect.
Well, I got home and then I, where did you get
home from? Imagine all of that that he had to
go through. This is true. And she just bounced.
She just bounced. It makes you, like if you're
that dude, it makes you want to go to the police
station and just cross your arms and just stare
at them. You motherfuckers. Yep. I need to go
through all this. Right. Ah, yeah. Man, I don't
know. Like I said, she should have just left
a message. Hey, don't look for me. I'm bouncing.
See ya. See ya. Best of luck. Best of luck. I
see your point. I definitely, definitely see
your point. Yeah, man. I feel for that dad, not
only because he had to like pick up and be like
super dad now. Single father, right. You know,
and that could have just as easily been a super
mother, but in this particular story, it's a
super dad and he'd be like, oh, he's probably
got to work. Now he's got to take care of these
kids. Being a single dad with no heads up is
also a stressor, so. That's a stressor. Yeah.
Plus the fact he's thinking, oh my god, what
happened to her. Right. She got kidnapped. Exactly.
You know, Mexican cartel. Am I gonna get a ransom
note or? Right. What am I getting? Am I getting
a finger in the mail? What's gonna, you know,
you just don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know,
man. Crazy. Crazy. I agree. My story here. in
the world of weird news, comes from the Tampa
Bay Times. Sounds like Florida man. Florida man.
Breaks into home, cooks meal, tells homeowner,
go back to sleep. Oh no. Oh my God. Here's the
subtitle. The 19 year old Marine was drunk at
the time, deputy said. That's how it starts usually.
Oh shit. Here we go from the Tampa Bay Times.
A 19 year old Florida man was arrested last Tuesday
after breaking into a home and cooking himself
a meal, deputies said. According to the Pinellas
County Sheriff's Office, Gavin Crim, an active
duty Marine living in Palm Harbor, entered James
Appelt's home in Huntington Boulevard in Safety
Harbor through an unlocked back door around 4
a .m. according to his arrest report. He made
his way to the kitchen where he cooked and ate
food belonging to Appelt. Deputies said Crimm
was under the influence of alcohol at the time.
Hey, no kidding. Uh -huh. Appelt told the deputies
he confronted Crimm, who told him, quote, go
back to sleep and kept eating. Appelt told Oh,
no. burglary of an occupied dwelling. He was
booked into the county jail and released the
next day after posting the $1 ,000 bail. According
to the Department of Defense, Crim had been a
member of the Marine Corps since June 11, 2018.
Oh, wow. Yikers, big dog. Wow, kisses, drink
on. Gets his drink on. I'm sure this house has
food. I'll lie myself in. Hey look man, listen
to what I say. So I'm in a house. It's not my
house. Look at the hungry. But is this a marine?
Semper fi - Semper fi - Semper fi - I was saying,
I cook. For you, but for me. Nah, go back to
sleep. My god damn, I'm half as eating this meal.
I was just, you got sage? Where's the rosemary?
Where's the rosemary? No, not your wife. It's
in the spice. The Marine Corps is just like,
you should have just kept eating the crayons.
I know, right? It's a god damn it. It's a bad
look for us, Crim. It's so much better when you're
sitting in Afghanistan eating that whole 64...
Yeah, the Crayola pack. 64 Crayola pack. I like
the yellow flavor. The yellow one is the sun.
Yeah. Thank you, Krim. Very good. Yeah, very
good. Very good. Just tap him on the head. He's
doing good, buddy. Oh, that's crazy. What a crazy
story. What a crazy way to end. It almost makes
me wonder, like, what did he make for the meal?
I don't know. How elaborate was the cooking?
Wouldn't that be something? Yeah, like, did the
homeowner wake up and he's like... Hmm Italian
cuisine at this hour He comes down scared. He's
scared shitless is bigger. I'm like a chef's
hat on He's like I have done a rack of lamb along
with mint jelly and these garlic potatoes Enjoy
the homeowners like the lamb is fucking raw Where's
the lime sauce? I've eaten this! It was only
then that he realized he'd broken into Gordon
Ramsay's home! You feed me this slop! And then
right then he's like, oh my god, I gotta go back
to Afghanistan. I gotta get out of here. I think
I'm gonna barf. Look how raw it is. Look how
raw it is. Mint jelly? I've eaten this. Where
did you get this mint jelly from, Aldi? You got
it from a can? From a can? You could make it
at home. Oh my god. Oh, that's good. It's fucking
frozen. It's frozen. Bollocks! Ah, so funny.
Oh, Jesus. What a way to end. God bless. Well,
end, but not end Season 5, because as I said,
this is the... usually it's 10 episodes, and
this is the end of Season 5. Typically, it goes
a quarter. That's about right. So it's like 10
episodes, ideally two interviews, but, you know,
those come and go when they happen, you know,
when scheduling allows. Yes. But yeah, the Markbo
show itself is 10 per season. Yes, it is. And
so this upcoming interview, which is going to
take place next week, is going to be with Ava
Rainwater. She's a local singer -songwriter who
is not even scratch the surface of her talents,
and her voice is amazing. So she's agreed to
come on to the Fireside Chats portion of the
Mark Mo Show, which is usually about a 25 to
35 minute interview. but she has her own music,
so... Ha, copyright, middle finger to you. Right.
Unless she gets a label and the label's like,
hello, Markmo Show. Yeah, right. Tink, tink,
tink on the glass. Tink, tink, tink. Gosh, damn
it. Damn it, we can't win. Rainwater, give us
an out. Throw us a bone, come on. But no, she's
going to sit down, she's going to play a few
of her songs, and we're going to not only introduce
all of Valpo, Indiana, to Ava, but hopefully
everybody across... of the country and around
the world. Malaysia, Russia, India. Absolutely.
Curacao. Amazing voice. Can't wait to get her
on the show. And she's a good peeps, man. And
that's kind of what we talked about a little
bit earlier in the show. You find good people
with talent. I don't mind putting them on the
air. And if it helps, great. If it doesn't, hey,
we give a shot. But in this case, I don't think
this will be wasted time at all. It is going
to be a really good interview. And I'm looking
forward to it. And if you're listening and you
are in Valpo or the region, keep an ear out,
keep an eye out for her because I think it's
going to be some good stuff coming up really
soon. It'll be bueno. So maybe she's more of
the bridge from season five to season six. It's
going to be some good stuff. And then, of course,
we always take a week off of the Mark Mo show
at the end of every season, which also coincides
with St. Patrick's Day weekend. Because in Chicago,
you don't celebrate just for a day on St. Patrick's
Day. You celebrate pretty much the whole month.
Yeah. Yeah. Give or take. Give or take. You go
hard on the week, but you also get the whole
month. You get the whole month. So for us, it's
pretty much the weekend before St. Patty's Day.
That we have a good time on Saturday. We go to
downtown Chicago throw back a few pints sing
some folk Irish tunes and listen to some bagpipers
and have a good time and then Sunday is the south
side of Chicago very Irish II part of the city
and Yeah, that is That's a parade and beer and
I know it's gonna be weird when I say it but
pizza now for those of you that know you know
most of you are like pizza what this fucking
guy you know you gotta okay let him educate you
yeah so i'm really let's see i i'm i'm actually
looking at the time of our podcast because it
could take a minute i there's a thing in chicago
called tavern style pizza now deep dish is quote
unquote chicago pizza Now, I like a good deep
dish once in a while. It's fantastic. You can't
eat it all the time. It'd be 500 pounds. Yeah.
But once in a while, usually when tourists come
into town, oh, we want Chicago style pizza and
they think deep dish. Real Chicago style pizza
is tavern style pizza, very thin crust, circle,
cut in squares. And yes, you do nail those little
corner pieces immediately. That's what real Chicago
pizza is, especially when you get out into the
neighborhoods. Fox's is a south side pizza place,
not sponsored, soon to be sponsored, hopefully.
Actually, no, because we have a new sponsor.
Oh, new information about that. We have a new
sponsor. It is a local place in Valparaiso. And
when we kick off season six, we're going to introduce
you to them. So that's a teaser. Ha ha. But Fox's
is on the south side of Chicago. So when we get
to the south side of Chicago, there's usually
two conversations. We're getting Fox's pizza.
pops beef. That's it. That's the conversation.
Right. Once in a while Janssen's drive -in because
the cool 1950s drive -in kind of thing and their
food's pretty good, but mostly beef or pizza.
Pizza is exquisite. It's great. Very thin. Cornmeal
crust on the bottom. Yep. And the sausage is
great. However they make the sausage, it's amazing.
Great, great pizza. And so, because we don't
get back there that often, when we're there,
we head on down to the pub, we grab ourselves
a big ass pizza, and then they usually have this
little old guy who, God, he's gotta be pushing
80, and he gets in there with his little squeeze
box, and he sings all these old Irish tunes.
It's just a vibe. It is. It's a vibe. It's a
time. It's a great time. So, if you're ever there,
check out Fox's Pizza. There's other good spots,
too. Rose Angelina, Palermo's, Nicco Vito's.
You gotta get in line quick, it fills up. Right.
We always leave the parade early to make sure
we get to Fox's, because otherwise you're not
getting in the door. It's a very tiny pub. But
it's a good time. Yes. Damn right. It is definitely
a good time. Anyway, we're up against it. Yep.
Later. We're up against it. See ya. So, bye bye.